♥ liked by @starPower
MOTION TO ENTER EXHIBIT INTO EVIDENCE! here's my audition tape for Total Drama Island Interdimensional. @gutsyGumshoe @starPower [Trycks stares at the camera, and blinks a few times, before realizing that it's actually on. She grins, a little belatedly. "INTRODUCTIONS FROM THE DEFENSE! My name is Filigree Hallowen - though informally you may also know me as Trycks Treats, or The Thespian. I'm, uh, a legislacerator and a gamblignant. I'm really good at arguing-" [there's a cut to some footage of Trycks in courtblock, in a shouting match with the opposing legislacerator, though there's no audio, and then a powerpoint transition that goes through different cases she's won.] [The camera cuts back] "-and thinking strategically-" [This shot appears to be security footage, slightly grainy and timestamped, of four trolls sitting around a dimly-lit table with jazz playing in the background. There's piles of chips in the middle of the table, and next to each troll. The camera zooms in on Trycks as sev says, "CROSS EXAMINATION! does it resolve?" and no one can counter whatever she just played. The other players all shove about half their chips towards the middle pile, and Trycks looks up at the camera and smirks.] [The shot cuts back.] "-and, frankly, I just have a killer stage presence." The camera pans slightly to the side, lingering on a massive, ornately enrgaved battleaxe, and there's a shot of Trycks' hand reaching to grab it. The video ends.]
Ahem. Due to several auditions having been submitted for TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL without the final tapes being published to the feed, @starPower and I are allowing an emergency final 24 hours for any remaining submissions. Please feel free to message me directly with any inquiries. See @starPower's pinned post for submission details. The broadcast will begin on May 11th. See you there!
@STARPOWER @GUTSYGUMSHOE [CLOSE-UP. HANDHELD ANGLE, LIKELY ON A PALMHUSK. DARK ROOM. AUSTERE LACK OF EMBELLISHMENT. FLICKERING, EMERGENCY-LIGHT RED ILLUMINATES HIS FACE.] ATTENTION, WORTHLESS SHOWRUNNER. THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS SPEAKING. FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR FORCING ME TO GLAZE MYSELF IN NOT ONLY A PRIVATE, ONE-TO-ONE MEDIUM, BUT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHITTR BODY AT LARGE AS A PREREQUISITE TO BEING ON THIS ALREADY INSIPID BARKBEAST SHOW OF A PROGRAM. I'M GOING TO ENSURE THAT MY AUDITION IS NOTHING SHORT OF PAN-STRIPPINGLY, BULB-FRYINGLY LONG BEYOND ALL POSSIBILITY OF TRUNCATION IN ORDER TO ENSURE THAT AS FEW PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE SHOWRUNNER STAFF BOTHER TO GIVE IT A PASSING GLANCE AS ONE GIGANTIC, FLAMING MIDDLE FINGER TO YOU AND THIS FUCKED UP TEMPLE TO DEVILRY YOU'VE ERECTED IN THE TOWN SQUARE OF THIS FUCK-AWFUL ONLINE PLATFORM. FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR. FUCK YOU AND YOUR COIFFED TRESSES AND YOUR GLINTING TEETH AND YOUR SPRAY-GRAYED, CHEMICAL-BASTED, OVER-INSURED EXPRESSION PLATE, CHRYSS MCLEAN. UGH. TO ANSWER YOUR FIRST QUESTION AND ALL OTHERS, I'M GOING TO CANNIBALIZE THINGS THAT *OTHER* TROLLS HAVE SAID ABOUT ME INTO A GROTESQUE HODGE-PODGE OF A SELF-DESCRIPTION THAT PUTS ME AT LEAST *ONE* LAYER OF REMOVAL AWAY FROM BLOWING A THUNDERCLOUD OF RIP-ROARING SMOKE UP MY CHUTE. BEING FUNNY ISN'T A SPECIAL TALENT. NEITHER IS BEING SMARTER THAN THE MAJORITY OF THE DROOLING, SPONGE-ROTTED CHITTRLINGS WHO ARE LIKELY ALREADY ENTERING THIS TELEVISED CULLSPORT. THE FACT THAT I'M CAPABLE OF POSTING THE OCCASIONAL ORIGINAL IMAGE OR PHOTO IS A STEP ABOVE IN MY OPINION, BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THAT, REALLY. EVEN MY STORIED HISTORY AS A RADICAL LEADER WHO CAN RALLY A YOWLING HORDE OF BELLIGERENT, SHITHIVE MISENTHROPES AND GET THEM TO WORK AS A COHESIVE TEAM IS CHUMP FUCKING CHANGE AROUND THESE PARTS. AND IN THE END, IN THIS POLITICAL CLIMATE, HEMOANONYMITY IS A CAEGAR A CENTILLION. I DO NOT HAVE A QUALITY THAT IS GOING TO "DAZZLE" YOU. BUT I CAN LIFT UP YOUR OTHER CHUTE-KISSING GLAMOUR DIVAS BY COMPARISON. I EXCEL IN ONE THING: BEEFING IT. MY LUCK AND ITS TIMELINE-UBIQUITOUS ABSENCE IS NOTHING SHORT OF *LEGENDARY.* I TAKE *ONE* STEP OUTSIDE MY HIVE AND SOMEHOW WAKE UP ON A BEACH WITH A MOUTHFUL OF BLOOD, SAND, AND GLENFIDDICH. I GO ON *ONE* FISHING TRIP AND I'M IN THE DIGESTION SAC OF A WHALE FOR FIVE AND A HALF DAYS AND WASH UP ON THE SHORE OF EARTH-CJUANA. I STAY AT *ONE* CUPE AND CONSUMABLES, AND THE NEXT MORNING, I'M SIX BOTTLES OF TROLLQUILA DEEP AND THERE'S A LOADED GUN IN MY SYLLADEX BEING POINTED AT A CARAPICIAN CARTEL LEADER WHO'S TRYING TO TAKE MY TYPESTUBS OFF WITH THE BIGGEST KNIFE I'VE EVER SEEN. AND TO BE CLEAR. THEY. WILL NOT. GROW BACK. IN OTHER WORDS — I FUCKING SUCK. BUT I SUCK IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE EVERY SINGLE OTHER NOOK-CHAFING, FUCKMAGGOT-RIDDLED SYCOPHANT ON YOUR SHOW LOOK LIKE A ROCK STAR. AND *IF* I SOMEHOW MANAGE TO PRATFALL MY RIDICULOUS, BLEEDING STRUTPODS ALL THE WAY TO THE FINISH LINE BY TOTAL COINCIDENCE, IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO TURN YOUR AUDIENCE INTO A MUSHROOM CLOUD. ALL PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY. OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU BELIEVE. LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. REMEMBER GLENNH FROM "A CATACLYSMIC PLAGUE CAUSES DAYWALKING, SHAMBLING HORDES OF GNAWING UNDEAD TO SPREAD ACROSS THE NATION WHILE A RAGTAG TEAM OF MORALLY GRAY SURVIVORS LED BY A WELL-INTENTIONED LAW ENFORCERADICATOR AND A GRIMY, YET SEXY COUNTRY BOY WITH A CROSSBOW EKE OUT A LIVING IN THE RUINS OF THE FALLEN WORLD, AND ALSO THE DEAD ARE, IN FACT, WALKING?" THAT'S ME. I'M HIM. BUT I'M FUNNIER. AS FOR SOME KIND OF PATHOS STATEMENT ABOUT WHY YOU SHOULD PICK ME OUT OF THE NO-DOUBT FUCKTILLION OTHER CONTESTANT AUDITIONS YOU'VE HAD STUFFED INTO YOUR MAIL CANISTER, I PROBABLY DON'T HAVE A BETTER REASON FOR THAT, EITHER. THERE'S PROBABLY A TROLL ENTERING THIS COMPETITION WHO IS A GENUINE PUMP-WRENCHING TRAGEDY WITH AN INTERNET CONNECTION AND A DREAM, WHOSE WEARY TALE OF WOE WOULD MOVE EVEN MY DESSICATED PITY DUCTS TO TEARS. THERE ARE A MILLION BETTER REASONS I COULD THINK TO OFFER SOME OTHER OBSEQUIOUS, WHIMPERING WORM ON THE PLATFORM A SHOT AT THE SACCHARINE, COMMERCIALIZED PREMIUM PACKAGE OF DIVINE BENEDICTION™, NOW ON SALE AT CROCKERCORP. PEOPLE WHO NEED POWER. OR PEOPLE WHO ALREADY HAVE POWER, AND WANT MORE. PEOPLE WHO WOULD USE THAT POWER FOR GOOD. OR FOR BAD. WHICH IS SOMETHING I WOULD TRY MY DAMNDEST TO HINDER, AS LONG AS I'VE GOT THE GLOBES FOR IT. BUT WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING? I KNOW FULLY WELL THAT IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, I AM A CATEGORICALLY POWERLESS PERSON. PEOPLE LIKE ME, BY OUR VERY DEFINITION, TEND *NOT* TO BE THE ONES HOLDING POWER. WE'RE THE ONES WHO DISDAIN THE GAME AND REFUSE TO PLAY, AND IN DOING SO ULTIMATELY LOSE BY FORFEIT. AND IN THE END, THAT HELPS A LOUD, RESOUNDING, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING *NO ONE.* JANE IS THE CEO OF CROCKERCORP. FEFERI IS THE FUCKING EMPRESS, NOW. MORE THAN HALF OF ALL THE FLYING ASSHOLES I REGULARLY CHIT WITH ARE GODLY, IMMORTAL, LIMP-FRONDED STOOGES WHO HAVE ALREADY BUMBLED THEIR SORRY CHUTES INTO *ULTIMATE POWER.* ALL OF THE MOVERS AND SHAKERS ON THE CHESSBOARD ALREADY HAVE WHAT THEY NEED TO PLAY. BUT DESPITE BEING ONE OF THE "CREATORS," AS WE'VE SO HUMBLY TAKEN TO EVIDENTLY CALLING OURSELVES, I DON'T. I'M JUST A REGULAR, RUN-OF-THE-PULPMILL ASSHOLE. I'M NOT A PLAYER ON THE BOARD. BUT AFTER ALL THESE SWEEPS, I'M WILLING TO BE. SO I'VE DECIDED, "FUCK IT." I'M WILLING TO PLAY YOUR GAME. I'M WILLING TO PLAY BY YOUR ASININE, SCHOOLHIVE, TAINT-CHAFING, DICKWORM-RUMPUS RULES IN FRONT OF A AN AUDIENCE POPULATED BY THE WHOLE CONCEIVABLE MULTIVERSE OF PARADOX SPACE FOR THE CHANCE TO ROLL THE DICE AND SEE IF THIS TIME, THIS *FUCKING* TIME, IT'S THE LITTLE GUY WHO ENDS UP WITH THE POWER TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT. I'M WILLING TO COMMIT SO MUCH THAT IF IT MEANS THE RIGHT PERSON MIGHT WIN? I'M WILLING TO LOSE. AND MAYBE IN DOING SO, SOMEHOW ANOTHER BLITHERING IDIOT MIGHT LIFT ME UP, ANYWAY. IF I WIN, I'M DOING THIS FOR EVERYONE WHO DIDN'T MAKE IT. BIG AND SMALL. IF I WIN, I'M FINISHING WHAT MY SANCTIMONIOUS BULLSHIT BLOODLINE STARTED. IF I WIN, WE ALL WIN. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT A *LEADER* IS FOR. AND SO, ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING. FUCK YOU. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/34FDBD94636E.GIF #TOTALDRAMAISLAND
"My name is Sairou Bjunki and this..! Is..! Legally distinct jackass!" The shaky phone camera footage pans over a hastily constructed course seemingly made for a motorcycle, installed by the edge of a canyon There are loops made out of scrap metal, ramps for jumping over pits, jagged spikes, and at least one ring of fire. The camera shifts to look at a tall, handsome troll, glancing over the course with disinterest. He has a motorcycle helmet under one arm, long and attractive horns, and the face of a movie star. The scratchy voice of the cameratroll picks back up. "Alright buddy, hold this." He passes 500 caegars in bills to the motorcyclist, then the phone itself. Everything goes blurry for a few seconds before focusing on the original cameratroll. A sneering face, four broken and chipped horns, an old bomber jacket, one literally black eye that occasionally stutters yellow, legs gone just above the knees, and a wheelchair that's seen better days. "Alright Mac, wish me luck!" "That's not my na-" Before Mac can finish, Sairou is already wheeling himself towards the massive ramp at the start of the course. He shoots the camera a thumbs up, a wink, and then splits his fingers and waggles his tongue between them. He pushes himself forwards, then is down the ramp in a flash. It's hard to say whether the ramp or his wheelchair are shaking more. Both look like they could give out at any moment. He picks up speed as he careens down it, further and further... He hits the jump at the end and goes soaring through the air, over part of the chasm below, and some spikes for good measure. He whoops and hollers as he careens through the air, then grunts as his chair slams down into the next part of the track. Sairou keeps up his momentum as he weaves in between spike walls that would gore him to pieces. The man is straight up Mario Kart skidding and slaaloming between them. Up next is a massive loop de loop, Sonic style. He reaches for what looks like a brake handle as he approaches, yanks it hard- and instead of slowing down there's a burst of flames behind him as his nitro boost activates. Sairou speeds through the loop without an issue, flies off the ramp at the end, only gets slightly singed by by the ring of fire... all that's left is to land on the large padded area on the other side of the canyon, marked with a large painted target. He flies, he flies, he's doing it, he's doing it..! Sairou crashes onto his landing pad, sending his chair flying away. He lays there, prone in the Family Guy death position. The cameratroll wonders aloud if he's dead. After a few moments, still face down, Sairou gives a thumbs up. @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
AHEM. I may circulate this post for the afternoon and evening crowds again, so don't be surprised if you see a repost. Here are the details for the next season of TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL. Our roster will include: - Twelve trolls, rust through violet castes. Two will be permitted to enter as hemoanonymous. - Four carapacians. - Eight human beings. - Two wildcards. Sprites, cherubs, and species otherwise not listed here. The grand prize for winning will be a fast track to sleazy tabloid fame, a small fortune, and *one* favor of your choice granted by myself. TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL will be sponsored by Crockercorp and air exclusively on the Bettybroadcast Worldwide network (BBW). You have until May 1st to get your auditions in, at which point we will announce the final cast! We will begin live broadcasting on May 11. Please *Read* and fill out the attached form to audition. https://forms.gle/4LzUEzdjbB3ijuqD8 #totaldramaisland
Pg1 https://file.garden/XpidrV1bbgcDmDPG/SWAGCLAN/SWAGCLAN_PL1_9-10-2023.png
@gutsyGumshoe @starPower [The video starts with a hand over the camera lens. Slight shuffling and shifting last for a few seconds before the hand is moved away from the camera's line of sight. The video feed itself is from that of a front facing phone, held up by space-bound powers. Najm is sitting cross-legged, waving from the hood of her reflective blurple color-wrapped hobby car parked in the middle of a short-grass field. She's wearing jeans, red and green sneakers, simple black shortsleeve shirt (showing off her noticeably large biceps) with the Space aspect spiral on it, accessorized with red and green color matching charm bracelets and star earrings.] "Hi there to everyone in the Total Drama Island selection committee! My name is Najm, some people call me Naj, whatever works is fine honestly." "A little bit about me, uhhh. Well, I'm not from Earth-C, but that was made plain and obvious in my application lol. Maid of Space from another session across paradoxspace! Saw the chits about it and got curious honestly! I used to watch shows like Total Drama Island when I was younger and always wondered what it would be like to participate in an event like that! I don't super have much of a sob story going on, I'm just really curious about all this really! I remember reading on the application something about humans being a personality hire for this and, honestly that's fine with me lol. If this visa goes through, I'm there for a fun time not a long time." [A short cut to a few moments later is noticable from the sudden perspective change. Najm is now laying down completely on her back against the hood and windshield with her arms crossed, supporting the back of her head and one leg crossed over the other.] "Other than all that, my hobbies include drag racing, working on cars, machines, and personalizing tech. I'm a scientist by trade, but like to also indulge in weaving crafts like crochet, design stitching, embrodery, etc. I've been getting into learning about guns and shooting from my bestie, though my prefered weapons are shovels, guns are starting to get really fun to use! Let's see, what else. Erm, weight lifting, gymnastics. Cats! I love cats! Though I think trolls call them purrbeasts? Apt name for them honestly. ......I cant really think of much else right now honestly! Hope to meet you guys in person beyond chittr space! Bye!" [With a smile and another charm bracelet jingle-jangle wave, the video ends.]
Me when I ★m Kronos
I would like to offer my endorsement of this individual; all their claims are true!
think i am. doing this. right. wish. me luck. #evilgang. #beetlegang. @starPower @gutsyGumshoe [ Attached to the post is a video of Knytte, filmed inside of their burrow. There are shelves carved into the dirt and stone that make up the backdrop, each decorated with a variety of crystals and stones ranging from breathtakingly beautiful to just neat. Knytte is seated in front of the camera, hunched forward into the frame. It would be more than a bit difficult for them to fit into the shot if they sat upright. "Hello. Chittr. And my friends," they begin speaking, their voice flat and disjointed but strangely endearing all the same. "And of course. The people. Running this. Total Drama Island." They clear their throat and shuffle in their seat, not breaking eye contact with the camera. "Welcome. To my. Demo reel. For why you. Should choose me. To embark. On an adventure. To. The Island. of. Dramatic totality." They place a hand to their chest. "First. I am appointed. To being. The Chief Entity. of Entomology. In Trollbama's very own. Cabinet. Because of the. Resounding success. Of my own. Event. Beetleweek. Hashtag beetleweek. The bloodpushers and thinksponges. Of the masses. Were captivated by. Our small. And chitinous friends." They then point to their face, finally closing their eyes in what looks like a... smile? It's hard to tell as the lower half of their face is behind a mask. ^_^ "The second. Is because I am. So sweet. I can make. You. Smile one million." Their face returns to looking unsettling as usual. "But. I am also. Evil. And fucked up. Because when. I was. Only a Pupa. My lusus. Was carried off." They glance to the side, looking... sad? "By Behemoth Inferno Ants. Never to be seen. Again. And I myself. Was taken. By not-ants. Where I trained. To be. Hollow. And deadly. I studied. The blade. I am intimately familiar. With the blade." They shift their head to the side, revealing a massive blade resting against the wall of the burrow. "I love. The blade. And. The blade. Loves me. Not to mention." They raise their left arm, shifting it out from under their cloak to reveal a sleek prosthetic, black and glossy with a carbon fiber pattern. Two plates on the forearm snap to the side and settle further back near the elbow, a black blade shooting upward. "I studied. The blade. So good. That. I became. The blade." The plates and blade of their prosthetic shift back into place, their arm hidden under their cloak once more. "In my quest. To become. The bug-mayor. Of chittr. As well as. The best. Chief entity. I can be. I should be. Featured. Not for my sake. But for. The sake of. Beetlekind. And. For all of. Our constituents." They fold their hands together and give a slight nod at the camera. "You. Thank you for. Your viewing. If I win. I will tell you. When. The fog is. Coming. Again." The footage stays on Knytte for a while longer. They give another "smile" ^_^ at the camera, and the footage ends. ]
Are YOU excited for #TotalDramaIslandInterdimensional?
Everyone wants to be the biggest pervert in the sherbert.
<-|--|~~ thank you mr mclean even if i am not Selected i look forward to the Show.
[The somewhat grainy recording opens up with a troll’s face nearly taking up the entire frame. He affixes the camera with an extraordinarily intense stare for a few seconds before backing up a bit, revealing a hulking frame and bandages wound snugly about his thick neck. The hive block he’s in is sparsely decorated and somewhat small, with the only notable fixture being a small shrine situated beneath a pair of pistols mounted upon the wall. The large troll takes a deep breath before speaking, never blinking.] "My name is Ikriom Trecal and this is my audition tape for Total Drama Island. If you seek unrelenting brutality and tenacity to enthrall and entertain, then look now further. I will claw and rend my way to the apex of this competition." [The troll takes a deep breath, swallowing thickly.] "I have long been inspired by the stories of the revolutionaries of old Alternia and the exploits of the legendary Page of Hope. This will be my inaugural journey into the blinding realm of reality entertainment. There I shall demonstrate the visceral clarity of purpose that will blaze my path to the summit of victory. And there I shall etch my name into the annals of history just as the fighters preceding me have." [The troll reaches for something off-screen, never taking his eyes off the camera. He reveals the object, a collection of what appears to be dried-out fins, mostly drained of color and retaining only a pale shade of violet around their ragged bases. A few piercings glint in a couple.] "Mementos of my choicest targets. Assignments I was fortunate enough to land. For as long as they live they will never forget that which pursued them, subdued them, maimed them. To remind them that they, just as the all the other castes, are mortal. I wish to remind all abyss-whispers of this fact. As they sit in their lavish hives and engage in their ostentatious galas and peddle their filth on social media. What can just as easily befall them at any given moment." [He sets the fins down and retrieves something else, a few tiny, meticulously-crafted glass sculptures of various lusii. He’s still staring.] "I would also like to share my art with others. I believe my skill in working with glass to be top-notch and I would enjoy creating more sculptures for others. Victory may open up considerable opportunities in that regard." [He sets the sculptures down and leans back in. Still staring, but grinning now and displaying rows of sharp teeth.] "This is my audition. I await the trials of the island and its dramatic totality." [The video ends.] @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
*This account seems to have been made recently with no other posts except for this single video. It opens up with a shaky recording of a masked troll standing in front of the ocean on a beach. The masked figure looks visibly uncomfortable and doesn't seem to know what to do with his arms, while other troll recording it holds out a thumbs up and begins to speak in a loud, eccentric voice.* "IT'S RECORDING! GO ON! DO IT!" *The masked troll clears his throat and then puts his hands on his hips.* "Hello to anyone watching. My name is Zavier, and I am making this video to audition for Total Drama Island. Now I'm sure you're wondering what I have to offer. If you're looking for someone who can fight off any sort of beast, land or sea, I've got the job covered with my trusty tri-" *He pats his sides, and then glances around realizing that his trident was nowhere to be seen.* "My trusty..-" "CATCH!" *The troll recording tosses the trident to Zavier. He yelps and scrambles to catch it. Right before the trident lands in the ground, the video suddenly cuts to him holding it like nothing happened.* "My trusty trident." "ZAVIER! SHOW THEM THE ARM TRICK!" "The.. oh. Oh! Yeah!" *Zavier lifts up his left arm. The gold prosthetic glimmers in the moonlight as he aims it at the camera. There's a click, and the hand shoots off like a grappling hook and smacks directly into the camera. The lens cracks from the impact and the camera man falls over.* "GAH!" "Dex! Shit, are you okay?!" "THAT... WAS.. AWESOME!" *Zavier lets out a sigh of relief. as the camera man gets back up from the sand and resumes recording.* "As you can see, I am a perfectly capable candidate for Total Drama Island. Pick me, and I promise you, I will not disappoint." *Zavier points his trident at the camera.* "Alright Dex. Mind uploading this on chittr for me?" "DO NOT WORRY, ZAVIER. I'VE GOT THIS, HEHEHE!" *Zavier nods and the video ends.* @starPower @gutsyGumshoe https://file.garden/ae6_q1AoTDGIu7_4/Zavier.png
concept: using your fingers to slowly spread their fin rays watching with curious eyes as they flutter nervously in response to your probing you lean in to drag your tongue across the soft interradial membrane of their earfin only to hear their breath hitching towards the stark difference between the warmth of your touch and the chill of their skin sitting in their lap as you roll your hips at an eager pace their head nods back to stare up at you with blown out pupils that were usually so stern and slitted their hands hold your hips tight claws that could tear you to pieces were you a beast in their waters so gentle as they skim upwards to draw over your ribs your eyes guiltily trail down to their neck to the gills that flutter there with each needy noise they allow slip past razorlined teeth youve memorized the feel of the sharp operculum that protects the sensitive and fragile piece of their throat gill rakers flashing with each gasp they make you cant help yourself you lean down to drag your tongue carefully over the shape of them the warmth of your saliva near such a delicate part causes their hips to thrust upwards against you from below claws pricking skin and teeth gritting "careful" they warn in a pathetic voice but it only makes your hips move faster (tags: Reader/Anonymous, seadweller, #rankworks, seadweller fetishization, #nsfw, finplay, gillplay, caste difference alluded to, no quads mentioned, flushcoded, archive rating: M)
-=[ [The video starts with Kaikka at her husktop, and it looks like it’s directly over whatever the troll-equivalent to a bed that’s not a cupe would be. Cushion slab. It’s dark in her block with only the glow of monitors illuminating the goldblood’s face; viewers might be able to acknowledge the outline of body pillows curled into a nest-like fashion behind her. There’s cables dangling from the ceiling, and of course, fixed to the goldblood herself.] [A wobbly smile curls at her lips as she pushes her glasses further onto her nose, stammering. “Hhey! Hi. I’m Kaikka Mohdem,” Heart-shaped pinch of bandaged fingers. “This is myy audition for Total Drama Island, uh, Hheh.”] [A hand reaches out to the camera, fussing with the device momentarily; she’s plucked it from the top of the monitor, allowing it to focus on her smiling face as she turns in her seat, displaying the many monitors behind her. All of them are fluctuating in activity simultaneously. Chittr timelines scroll, Grubtube navigates seemingly on it’s own, there’s even a document up, writing.] [“IIII think. I should be on the show because! SgghhI don’t know, I thhhink it would be fun and I have a lot of entertaining quirks?” x-)? “Aaand um. I think maybee seeing me on TV would entice my moirail into coming back. I haven’t seen him in so long, heh, I-I’m starting to forget his face!”] [She pauses, a tick quakes in her lips, but a spark of psionics at the rim of her glasses draws her attention back to the video. “And I’ve also seen everyyy episode already! Like every episode. I don’t think any of my skills wwwwouuulldd apply to challenges in any meaningful way ssso I get if you pick. Someone else. But! I’m a really good porn artist and- ooh- ah- technomancy psionics-”] [The monitors behind her flip suddenly, footage from the webcam that she’s holding, mirroring her. The lenses from her glasses glare against the light.] [“.......”] [“Bye!!!!!” Happy waving. :-) The video ends.] @starPower @gutsyGumshoe https://f2.toyhou.se/file/f2-toyhou-se/images/118648044_zWvcSO9q8h1ICD5.png_☺]=-
i actively crave t)(e worsenin and destruction of anyt)(in wit)(in my orbit. if youre an alco)(olic, ill make ya drink more. if youre an addict, ill enable you to deat)(. i want to enable every worst impulse, every bad idea, every possible maladaptive t)(oug)(tform just to see w)(at it does to you. its like a pressure cooker, endurin and endless. and eit)(er you crumble like coal in my claws as i laug)( seein ya die, or i see a diamond bein born, w)(ic)( is just as beautiful to witness.
Since concern has been raised about this, I feel the need to clarify. We do not use our company's intern program as "an eXcuse to abuse lowbloods." We at #MacroCullsmos are an equal-opportunity employer, and have interns on all stripes of the hemospectrum. Highbloods are not given any hiring preference, and must work their way up the corporate ladder, just as any other troll. When we deal out corporal punishment to our wretched and unworthy interns, it is equal-opportunity #violence. - MC Oleana
✨ [Video static, as the camera turns on. As soon as the camera finally settles and it gains focus, you can see her sitting in a nice chair in a windowless room. she'd clear her throat before speaking.] Hello, this is my audition for. total drama island, I am sure you know who I am and I would absolutely love to be apart of the show, I do not mind singing, dancing or putting on a show. I have been in show biz for years now and I feel it's time I do something more raw and untamed, my talents include, singing, dancing, choreography, hand to hand combat, ranged combat and a few survival skills. I am also highly flexible and do all of my own stunts.[Getting up from the chair moving it, she'd start to actively sing, and dance, mixing a few of her songs together to make it so it's a little faster. after that the camera cuts to another shot of her actively contorting herself into a pretzel, the camera would cut one more time to one of her on stage stunts where she actively jumped off a building onto a trampoline and then into a lake. The camera would cut back to her in the chair,. she'd get up from her spot to turn the camera off, audible static as it shuts right off.] @starPower @gutsyGumshoe ✨
[ The video starts with a shot in the middle of the woods, the camera pointing upwards towards the swaying leaves. For a moment the forest is quiet and calm. Only a faint, mid-pitched howling sound can be heard... Before it starts to get louder. And louder. And just at the apex of its volume, Rufioh drops down from the sky and lands on the centermost branch, finally completing a long, needlessly loud rooster-esque crow. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXQtPUrgCCM) ] YO!! My name 1s Ruf1oh N1tram, and TH1S 1s Surv1vor! [ He dives down towards the forest floor, getting close enough that his horns are almost touching the ground... Then his wings spread open and he's saved from faceplanting just in time as he swoops perfectly upwards and onto his feet... Then he awkwardly runs up to the camera and angles it more towards the sky.] Uh, one sec, haha... Yo, 1 got some BANGARANG 'ss tr1cks to show off, watch th1s sh't... [ Once the camera is in position he darts back up into the air. After a quick series of flips, twists, and daring stunts, a stray gust of wind sends him spiraling off his path and disappearing into one of the dense trees below... And then, conveniently, his body just so happens to land right in front of the camera. A sick crunch and a pained "OUGH" are all you hear before the video cuts out. ] ( @starPower @gutsyGumshoe )
*Camera cuts on to Lidael fiddling with the setup--his palmhusk is low, likely propped up against a building outside, considering he's standing on a sidewalk as he do this. He's rather short and twiggy for a troll, especially for a blue blood. There's a green hat which shades half of his face, he's got thick, wavy hair with long face-framing side pieces, and as he's turning to take a couple steps from his palmhusk, there's a long rat-tail flowing down his muted blue-striped polo. White sleeves of an undershirt cover his arms, and he's wearing baggy dark, olive cargo shorts. His socks are haphazardly rolled on his ankles, and to complete the look are blue/grey/black heelies.* "Yo, yo, YO, waddup. It's Dale. Dale as in the Krabbe, Krabbe as in Lidael Krabbe and THIS right HERE is my audition for TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND! So, uhh, gettin' right into it, I should be on the show 'cus truly there's no one out there doin' it like Dale, I live life to the fullest every friggin day, so much so that I got fired from my chud ass fuckin' donut job 'cus they really couldn't handle my raw fuckin' swag. Every day is a chance for new opportunity y'feel me. And my hobbies? Shit. I got plenty. As for my daily life and shit--I got mice. Three mice. Brie, Gruyere, and Provolone." *The video cuts to him showing off each respective mouse.* "'N I couldn't leave these guys hangin' swagless, no, no, no, check it-- Look what I taught 'em." *The mice have a whole like. Circus act. One is walking on ball, one is doing? Trapeze? How did he teach it that. The last is doing cartwheels. How the fuck are they doing that.* "And DON'T you dare think I'm a shitty owner to them, check it." *The camera pans back to the enclosure. It's large, spacious, and by the looks of it, he really does treat these creatures with care.* "Okay, okay, enuff about the mice Dale. I get it. You get it. Movin' on to myself. Bruh. I heely like a fuckin' god. I skate like a fuckin' god. It's like I was put on this fuckin' planet to perform, bruh. Watch it." *The camera cuts to a 90's esque fish-eye lens compilation of him doing heely and rollerskating tricks. He's performing these in skate parks, malls, really any public space. Grinding on rails in rollerskates. Back flipping. Crazy shit* *Camera cuts back to Lidael, who is eating a burger now.* "So, uh, yeah. That's me. Li-fuckin-Dael. If you want some swag on your show, I'm your guy." *He points to the camera, and the video ends.* @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
[Not an OOC post, using it to get rid of quirks.] [There's shuffling with the camera until it points directly toward Vinnik, in his bi-colored glory, pretty close to the camera at first without realizing it and presenting a huge grin. He leans back, the camera stills and focuses on him as he waves excitedly, tail wagging behind him!] hiiiii!! my name is vinnik!! this is my audition for that cool total drama island show thing going on. i want to show you (the hosts) and everyone who's watching my audition what i can do and why you should nominate me for this!! [He stands up, in fairly perfect view of the camera to show off his full-body outfit (in pinned) and getting into a fighting stance. Throwing around a couple of punches and kicks in the air, it looked like he was some sort of beginner getting the hang of what fighting is all about. There's pretty OK form, but he was a bit on the sloppy side, though it looks a little practiced in his "inability" to fight and purposely trying to make it a bit on the cute, pitiful side... though he does tumble over with a small 'ow' and a laugh as he crawled back toward the camera and picked it up, a better angle for his face as he shoots up a peace sign.] yoooou should consider me if you want me to pull off those incredible moves live on camera for millions of sods to watch >X3 everyone gets to see cuteness that theyve never seen befur!! [Pun intended.] plus im the best, and also id crush everyone and also id be entertaining as hell!! or at least thats how i want everyone to see me. if youre gonna have anyone around, have me!! [He also points toward an excellently made knick knack of a glowing, glass pumpkin embedded with small, orange and green jewels and with a very excited smile on the front and holds it in his hand for the camera.] plus i make stuff and theyre sooooo cute!! oops this is running for really long i didnt realize but please please please consider me!! [He sets the pumpkin item down and wave toward the camera.] byeeeee!!!!! [Then it cuts off abruptly.] [ @starPower / @gutsyGumshoe #audition ]
The #totaldramaisland auditions are ROLLING IN. We are pleased to report a BUMPER CROP of eligible candidates. Please continue to post your submissions and to tag myself and @starPower. ... I WISH you could read what I'm reading. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e01183f9898c.png
(V)(',,')(V) woah the island shld i go to the island the drama island
↗️I AM NOT PERMITTED TO AUDITION FOR THE ISLAND THAT IS FILLED WITH EXTREME AMOUNTS OF QUANTIFIABLE DRAMATICS AND ALSO TOTALITY.↗️ ↘️i have a meeting.↘️ ↗️MANDATORY.↗️ ↘️on whatever date it is liable to be hosted on.↘️ ↗️I AM ALSO POSITIVE THAT MY INFERIOR FORM WOULD BE RENDERED TO SAWDUST WITHIN MOMENTS OF ENTERING THE ARENA.↗️ ↘️i am not suited for physicality of any kind.↘️ ↗️IT IS KIND OF SHAMEFUL, AND I AM ALREADY BROADCASTING THE MAJORITY OF IT MYSELF, THROUGH THE INTERMEDIARY MIDDLEGROUND OF THE CHITTR FEED.↗️ ↘️so i do not want anyone to see it.↘️
@starPower Help a guirl out.
GREAT!!! I LOVE SIGNING LIABILITY WAIVERS!!!
*The camera flickers on to reveal a chair facing behind. It slowly turns to the front to reveal Dexter with his pet glunch in his lap.* "NOW YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW MY NAME!! I, DEXTER, AM QUITE FAMOUS!!! HOWEVER FOR THE SAKE OF BEING PROFESSIONAL!!! I SHALL INTRODUCE MYSELF!!! MY NAME IS DEXTER VUZREI!! THE BEST INVENTOR, BUSINESS PERSON, AND SCIENTIST IN ALL OF THE GALAXY!! AND THIS IS MY AUDITION TAPE FOR TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!! NOW WHY SHOULD I BE ON THIS SHOW...WELL I PRETTY MUCH JUST SAID WHY!! I AM A BIG DEAL!!! HOWEVER, I SHALL SHOW YOU!!" *The camera cuts to Dexter out side his hive. Next to him is a giant canon and in his hand he has a remote.* "NOW I AM HERE TO SHOW YOU MY TALENTS OF CREATING WEAPONS OF MASS...FUN!! PHILLY!! PLEASE KEEP THE CAMERA STILL!!" *Dexter presses a button on the remote and a large fiery ball of confetti shoots from it and into the horizons. After a few seconds...there is an explosion that's only getting bigger and bigger.* "Uh...uh oh...Philly!! PHILLY CUT THE CAMERA!! PHILLY-" *The camera switches back to Dexter on his chair.* "ANYWAYS...NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MY TALENTS I AM SURE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY WOWED!! I SHOULD BE WORRIED FOR THE OTHER CONTESTANTS!! FOR THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY OF MY ABILITIES!!! AND ONE OTHER THING!! DO YOU KNOW WHO WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY FILLED WITH JOY IF I WAS ON TOTAL DRAMA!!! MY BABY BOY!! MY SWEET BOY GOJIRA!!!" *Dexter held the homunculus on his lap to the camera. "YOU SEE!! I AM A SINGLE MOTHER AND THIS IS MY BABY'S DREAM!!! YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO RUIN A SWEET BOY'S DREAM, WOULD YOU??? GO ON GOJIRA!!! SAY SOMETHING!!!" *Gojira's beady eyes look at the camera before it slowly opened its mouth.* "Euugh...eeeegh...." "OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH GOJIRA!!! DON'T TALK THEIR EAR OFF!!! ANYWAYS!!! PICK ME FOR TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!!!" *And finally the camera turned off.* @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
[The sound of a shuffling camera is heard, their slender fingers removing themselves from the lense, making them visible to the viewer....but they're upside down. "Ah.. ehm.. sorry, hold on...". More shuffling ensues before finally the camera is angled correctly. "There we go..". "Ehm...Hi, My name is Philox Yarrow, I'm past 9 sweeps, my blood color is jade and this is my audition.. for the ehm, total drama island cast call.." Their hands fiddle with one another, fingers itching at the many scars that littered their hands, they looked a bit nervous. "Sorry...I've never done this before... I've never been interviewed..". Philox's hands unfold from eachother to pat each side of theirs cheeks, to make themselves get back on track. "I, ehm, think I should be on this show, because two of my other friends are going, and they told me I should be there too, but I also like the idea of getting fame, I'd be able to make so so so many friends... I Don't have that many of those.." They look around their room for a moment then the camera, before getting up and taking it in hand at a lower/looking up angle. "M..My talents are gardening..! I also know lots and lots about plants and herbes, if you threw me in the wilderness...I would be able to fend for myself.. and help my teammates..! or uhm, maybe being an onset helper with potential plant poisening too!" They turn their camera and pan it at the cave like structure they live in, plants and moss of all kinds littered the place, proof of their comitment to the plant loving life style before pointing the camera back to them. "I can also fight... I've had to kill lots of critters on my own when I get hungry.. I don't know if thats important.." Their eyes shifted about akwardly, but during this entire recording, they hadn't blinked once, freak. "Thats uhm...this is my audition...I'd be really happy if I was picked... and if not well ehm, I'd be...very sad.. I think. Thank you for your time..!" And the recording ends. ] @starPower @gutsyGumshoe
DID YOU KNOW — [a young man with a stupid haircut stands in a grocery store aisle. it just so happens that today is his big audition for total drama island. though it was 10 years ago he was given a name it is only today that he will be given his big break.] i'm nuke troyer and this is my audition for @starpower and @gutsygumshoe on total! drama! islaaaaand! okay tedi release the newts. [a tsunami milk floods the aisle, at least you certainly hope it's milk, carrying brightly colored newts with floaties in with it. nuke still stands there, proud and steadfast having braved the wave of dairy.] five, six, seven, eight! [the sprawled out amphibians leap up at his call, getting into uniformed lines as a funky beat plays on an off screen boombox. it has to be off screen because the music sounds too shitty and tinny to have been edited in. nuke's legs twist to and fro with a couple of stompy dance moves, newts synchronized with him (kind of). the squeak of wet sneakers and splashy piddles of webbed feet fight toe for toe with the song. a few grocery store patrons try to enter the aisle but quickly turn away the second their eyes catch the atrocity lain before them.. all it takes is one newt slipping up on their choreo to cause chaos. like squishy little dominoes one slips on the wet floor and splats down belly first, not a thought behind its eyes as it slides slowly into the next one, toppling the coordinated line one by one until it reaches nuke. his ankle is clipped mid hop and nuke falls to the ground face first, camera following his descent. quickly, he twists around to lie on his side breakdancer style and flash a wink at the camera. his nose is bleeding and turning the inch of milk below him a gross pink.] if you want thomeone with a gogetter attitude and rethiliant mind, choothe me! nuke out!— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
Oh. I'll take that as a deal. Just give me a location and I drop a couple million.
Oh my god. Hold the phone. Wait. Wait. Wait. Total Drama Island....... I've never did anything like that let alone camping while growing up BUT I used to enjoy watching them and imagined it... Ok wait this might be peak. I have 0 expectations but I will audition for the laughs
#nsfw Hff, My drone lusus has permitted me to... Uhm. Add my name. Because there is no record of my existence anywhere. This is my audition tape @starPower @gutsyGumshoe [The screen stays black for several seconds before a dim red light flickers on behind a seated silhouette. Ventilation fans drone endlessly somewhere in the darkness. Long hair hangs over the figure’s face, obscuring everything except the vague shape of black-painted lips when the light catches them just right. Around the room are shelves and dangling shapes swaying in the airflow: anatomical molds, rubber decoys, tubes filled with imitation flesh. The troll breathes heavily before finally speaking. “My name is Vesica Anelus." A pause. “I hear genitals. Living ones.” The silhouette shifts. “The empire uses me to catch infiltrators, smugglers, body doubles. Prosthetics don’t fool me. Corpses don’t fool me either.” A weak laugh slips out. “You know how hard it is to exist in public when every living bulge within miles feels like screaming directly into your skull?” A hand presses briefly against their head. “That’s why I stay in here. Lead walls. Fake signals. Decoys everywhere. It keeps the noise manageable.” Something writhes faintly in the darkness behind them before disappearing again. The figure leans forward slightly. “But I want to be on this show.” The red light flickers harder behind them. “I think being locked in a chamber for most of your life changes a troll. Makes them interesting.” Silence hangs for a moment. “I can tell when somebody’s lying. Usually because they get excited.” Another dry laugh. “I don’t really remember how normal conversations work anymore, but I endure.” A pause. Then quietly: “...Do contestants share rooms?” The tape cuts to static.]
Guess who just bought 50 scratchers?! Jiggy's strikin it rich today
WAIT IS IT STILL POSSIBLE TO SIGN UP??? PLEASE!!!
OOO)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O!
IF IT ISN'T ON----E OF MY MOST FAVORIT-----E S)(OWRUNN----ERS OF ALL TIM-----E mclean. )(ow are you farin t)(is fine afternoon.
ALL IS ASH AND DARKNESS
)(ope to see some real good culliminations t)(is season. a)(, your last season kept me on t)(e edge! and t)(e deat)(s! truly poetic.