♦ pitied by @starlitDearheart
This fucking guy.
Why did I think for a moment I could post this without you getting my ass.
Good News: I have plenty of old alchemized tech to replace any exploded phones. Bad News: This one is from the wearable tech era. Why did I think these glasses were a good idea.
You're all sucking up the luck, stop it.
Aw, dang it.
Aw, dang it.
Aw, dang it.
Let's go gambling.
What the fuck just hit the back of my head.
I keep getting spam text addressed to "Dry Man Droof". Who is responsible for this.
I did a crime recently. Not saying which one.
I AM SO VISCERALLY UNATTRACTIVE AND YET I SOMEHOW PULLED TWO GORGEOUS WOMEN, ONE PALE ONE FLUSHED. I THINK THEY'RE JUST ATTRACTED TO PATHETIC MEN.
Restless. I'm going to go fix that.
What the FUCK could he possibly have meant by that.
Thinking of solving and/or committing a crime.
This is an incredibly stupid triangle.
I have GOT to start having conversations in private.
I need to go for a long, quiet walk off a rooftop.
I need to go for a long, quiet walk.
Man I literally did nothing to cause this. I had a normal, workplace appropriate interaction and he started hissing.
He told me to do a job and I said yes, sir. That's literally it.
Midnight City Update: I forgot.
I think I know who you mean.
Wow.
I'm getting lit the hell up in the comments, man. It's over.
🚬
Oh. The hissing means. Good lord.
Midnight City Update: I’m scared.
S0ME0NE T0UCHED MY KNITTING PR0JECT AND DR0PPED S0ME STITCHES. I'M G0ING T0 L0SE MY SHIT.
Siiiiiiiigh. So 8oring tonight that not even my giant money hoard that I swim into like Scrooge McDuck isn't even entertaining me. Fuck!!!!!!!!
Midnight City Update: Have you guys seen that one Tomska sketch "needles?" It's kind of like that now. Wherever I step I am being shot by thousands of tiny bullets. Because of the tiny guns.
I can't let you get close.
Okay I think I'm officially over the color green now.
Sleep is so elusive when alone these days
Strands is annoyingly festive today, but I'm just being a crank because I'm not particularly fond of explosives going off at all hours. Strands #853 “Happy 4th of July!” 💡🎆💡🎆 🎆🎆🇺🇸🎆
⧃H FUCK I F⧃RG⧃T THE SUN BURNS AUGHHHHHH MY M⧃UNTAIN PEAK #NSFW
I think I'm leaving a good impression.
Why is my new boss posting about dick sucking. #nsfw
Why are there so many ballrooms in this place.
They call me Cuestick because I C (see) U (you) Estick.
Just got a cool gun.
It's the things we don't say.
* #sojealous #drooling
why d[oe]s b[ei]ng d[i]s[a]bl[e]d m[ea]n h[a]v[i]ng f[u]n [i]s d[i]s[a]bl[i]ng? th[e] f[u]ck y[ou] m[ea]n h[a]v[i]ng f[u]n m[a]k[e]s m[e] t[e]mp[o]r[a]r[i]ly m[u]t[e] [a]nd [u]n[a]bl[e] t[o] l[ea]v[e] m[e] r[oo]m? wh[a]t [a]m [i] t[o] d[o], h[a]v[e] n[o] f[u]n [e]v[e]r?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY ASS.
Yeah. Yeah, that's my future now. I guess. I wish Slick fucking killed me.
Every moment is pain.
...I have come to make an announcement. Pinkie Pie and I are... best friends. Forever.
You are a regular guy You can enter a space You are a regular guy You can enter a room You are a regular guy You can do that transaction You are a regular guy You know how to answer the phone You are a regular guy You know what sleep is You are a regular guy You know how to wake up You are a regular guy You know how to move through space You are a regular guy You know what it means to be you.
My patience continues to wear.
-=[onetime i haad a daymare aboout having a j*b in an officee and i hatted it becausethe plot of the daymare wwas thatsoemne was sucking all the hjjelly out of the donuts in the brreakblock qwith a straw_☺]=-
Hm. Perhaps it is not a good time to be on chittr right now
Dunno if what I'm about to do is a mistake. We'll see. #nsfw
I TOLD YOU TO THROW IT INTO THE SUN
....................oh... kay...
Asshole has my phone, of course he's gonna start snooping through my pictures. God fucking damn it.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:A lost soul You are 8 years old and He is teaching you to play piano. His hands rest where they shouldn't. You feel sick. You are 12 years old and you are playing Mozart. Your fingers slip and your timing is off the metronome is so loud it hurts your ears. His hands are on your shoulders and your heart is in your throat. You choke on a breath as one cards through your hair, frozen in terror. You are 21 years old and out drinking at 3 in the morning. You've been drinking like there's no tomorrow and this bar is the most disreputable one you've been to so far, but a handsome man whom is only a few years older than you by your best estimate has offered to buy you another drink. He slips an arm around your shoulders, and it's only as you down the last of your glass that you realize your mistake. You are 27 years old and He is dead. You're not sure how you feel about this. In theory you should be happy, relieved even but you just feel hollow and empty. Preparations for the funeral are your responsibility as His heir, but you don't care about any of it, all you want to do is You are 32. In another place. Where you are loved. Your name is Jeremy Noir. Your name is Y̷̖͙͠͝ļ̶̧̥̄t̴̨͙͇͑́͋ṕ̶̫̤̺ǘ̸̳̊n̸̖̺͐̕â̵͚̼̖͑v̵̢̯̩̎͘ǘ̶̪͚̬ ̴̗̥̽͆̾ͅZ̵͉̖̈́̌̆j̶̛͎̼̄̂y̸̢̥̰̽̍̋h̶̼̫̍̀̐a̸̬̠͛͝j̷͚̟̞͆͠o̷͙͙̾͐̕ and you will never be happy. You will soon. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗
Oh goodness. Cuteness aggression?
Random people keep fuckin' followin' me. Whattaya want? I'm workin' here.
[Screaming into my pillow.]
Im gonna keep bedrotting its the new trend
why do my thing go up Z:( #why-me. #suggesti\/e
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ 𝙸 PEED 𝙸N THAT GUYS DMS BECAUSE 𝙸 WWW.AS SCARED 𝙸 WWW.AS SCARED 𝙸T QAS A SCARWWW.D PEE 𝙸.ONLT PEED A L𝙸TTLE
I haave dreaamt of the clowns. AAnd aalso aa cheese faactory. WHaatever I did to deserve thaat, it must haave been something terrible
I was gonna make a pos⟡ wishing I had Cheez-I⟡s. Bu⟡ my mos⟡ recen⟡ 2 original pos⟡s were also abou⟡ Cheez-I⟡s and now I'm wondering if I'm ⟡he problem ==⟢
Ah, shit. I think the Boss is gonna fight another Boss, and I dunno where I'm slidin' into this. On the one hand, I'm loyal to th' Boss, but on the otha hand, I'm also loyal to th' Boss. This is just a mess of saltine crackers everywhere.
What the heeeeellll man
↘️i am banned from eating my kippered herring finbeast inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there.↘️ ↗️BUT IT WAS RAINING TONIGHT, WHICH WAS PREVENTING MY MIDSHIFT MEAL, SO I WAS FEELING SAD.↗️ ↘️and hungry.↘️ ↗️AND THEN I REALIZED THAT THERE WAS A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX↗️ ↘️(in the dumpster)↘️ ↗️FROM THE PREVIOUS DELIVERY.↗️ ↘️like a fridge sized box.↘️ ↗️SO I FISHED IT OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.↗️ ↘️of course.↘️ ↗️THEN TIPPED IT ON ITS SIDE.↗️ ↘️and had a nice little cardboard cave.↘️ ↗️VERY SOOTHING.↗️ ↘️very zen.↘️ ↗️AT LEAST UNTIL THE SECURITY PROFESSIONAL FROM THE NIGHT PRIOR STEPPED OUTSIDE TO SMOKE.↗️ ↘️i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work.↘️ ↗️INSTEAD, HE SAW A SORT OF DAMP, SNIVELING CREATURE.↗️ ↘️(me)↘️ ↗️EATING MY FINBEASTS IN A BOX↗️ ↘️and delivered the verbal cullshot of↘️ ↗️"GOOD EVENING, MISTER SMEGOL."↗️ ↘️which is how my night was ruined before 8 pm.↘️
Why do I fall for the bait?
The worst part of the healing process: the itching.
nevermind
I Am Seeing Tastes And Smelling Colors what Was In That Edible
Fuck what was I ON last night...
The women on this website are fuckin' jumpin' me you guys gotta help.
I gotta lay low fellas. If I go about my business I'm gonna get a collar around my throat and dragged away to God knows where if any more broads come out the woodwork tryin' to chain me.
Ghh maybe it's just 'cause I'm real tired after cleanin' a bunch of blood out of my car seats this afternoon but god I miss him... Sometimes when I'm just mindin' my own business and before I know it I'm thinkin' too hard about how his voice sounds and I gotta start thinking about literally anything else before I soak my goddamn slacks through. What's worse is when I *do* hear his voice- Only it's not really him, just different versions of him, and I gotta be real professional about it. Gotta smile and go "Yessir!" while on the inside I'm trying not to shiver, cry, moan, or hell all three at once. There's nights where I just think about how he clings to my shoulders when we uh... When we'd *Dance*, or the noises he'd make just for me- and I just gotta rub myself blind... I think I gotta log off and head to bed, fucksake... #nsfw
It’s dumb. I got too focused on electrical. I should’ve kept my head in the game. Dying first that many times just means he saw me as a threat.
my sleep schedule #mysleepschedule #mynothin
#yearnposting Tonight.
>:/
That wouldn't be a bad idea until of course I put it down to take a sip of soup thats just a liiiittle too hot
Detective Tip: When a group of gangsters tell you it's going to be "just some light fun and games, no stakes, the alliances don't even matter", they are actually tricking you into an elaborate humiliation ritual.
ANDYOUGUYSVENTEDMETWOTIMESANDIWASNEVERTHEIMPOSTER.
Don't trust @engineNoise as far as you can throw him. He was the Imposter THREE TIMES!
Detective Tip: Being a good detective does not make you good at Among Us.
Maybe next time actually listen to me when I'm saying I'm NOT THE IMPOSTER. VENTED ME TWO TIMES.
Hospital.
Man I miss when everything was simple, just one Doc, normal average Felt highjinks... I miss my Boss...
i got a message from a guy going by dick thunder saying im petite enough to use like a fleshlight wtf does that even mean??? #nsfw
It's just me and my sword #MySword Wait. Fuck. Shit. My pants.... I accidentally cut though my pants... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/bb5bdbd118e6.jpg
I've had worse first days on a job.
Strictly speaking, stealing something from someone that was already stolen with the intent to return it to the original owner isn't morally reprehensible is it?
>> ¡ m¡ght have my own brandpa bra¡nworm too, ¡ w¡ડh we cou1d ev¡ct them ડmhmh what haડ been tr¡gger¡ng your brandpa 1ate1y
i'm part of the felt, i feel like that just kind of answers the question in of itself.
I'm suddenly significantly less horny.
I'M A GROWN ASS MAN THANK YOU VERY MUCH SD.
GUH
This is! Certainly something to uh wake up to.
And if I said yes?
...... Give me 10 minutes. I'm uh. Almost done in the garage.
YESSIR
Taking @itChy along for a drinks run! If you hear the sound of a rapidly approaching Free Bird guitar solo you know why.
I hate that they're right about showers making me feel better. -007
"= i possess enough ability. as long as nothing can defy an infinitely reusable revival, i am. hm, completely fine with this, might hurt though, i am more interested in the rooms. they can ignore me. ="
"= hm. you see, now you are making me want to show up and get lost. are there, hm, places to end up? peculiarities, or is it simply endless halls and rooms, it could be fun if i get to discover things. ="