#moviemaid
JENNIFER’S BODY (2009). EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF HER. I MISS HER. WITH THE DUMB DESPERATION. OF A BARKBEAST WAITING BY A GRAVE. RANKYCHAN. IF YOU EVER SEE THIS. IF I WAS THE RAVENOUS SEX DEMON. AND YOU WERE MY SHELTERED NAKAMA. THE MOVIE WOULD HAVE LOOKED A LITTLE DIFFERENT. FINAL RATING. ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️? ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️? I DON’T KNOW. I WANT HER BACK. FUCK. #MOVIEMAID
PASSENGER (2026). THIS MOVIE HAD SEVERAL MERITS. IT WAS FUNNY. IT WAS VIOLENT. FIGHTING THE EVIL WAS NOT TOO EASY. HOWEVER. IT GETS TO A CERTAIN POINT. WITH THE JUMPSCARES. AND THIS IS COMING FROM THE INVENTOR OF THE JUMPSCARE. DON’T WASTE MY TIME. WITH CHEAP STARTLES. WHEN I’M PAYING TO EXPERIENCE THE ICY GRIP OF TRUE TERROR. AND HOPING IT FOLLOWS ME HOME. LIKE THE PASSENGER. IN THE MOVIE. FINAL REVIEW. THREE BALLS. ⚪️⚪️⚪️/🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱 #MOVIEMAID
HOKUM (2026). A MASTERFULLY CRAFTED. PERFECT PUZZLE BOX. EVERY LITTLE COG. WORKING IN HARMONY. NO WASTED JUMPSCARES. NO LOOSE ENDS. ONLY MORTAL FEAR. AND PUZZLESOLVING. FOR THIS VANISHINGLY RARE CINEMATIC FEAT. I AWARD FIVE BALLS. ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️/🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱 #MOVIEMAID
SKINAMARINK (2022). IT DRAGS. THEY SHOULD HAVE CUT. MAYBE ONE QUARTER OF THE LENGTH. STILL. A GOOD MOVIE. ALL AROUND. BUT THERE'S NOTHING SCARY ABOUT IT. "OHH. WHAT IF ALL THE DOORS VANISHED." BEEN THERE. "WHAT IF YOU WERE TRAPPED. IN THE HELL DIMENSION." DONE THAT. "WHAT IF THERE WAS AN EVIL FORCE. TALKING TO YOU. THROUGH VARIOUS ELECTRONIC DEVICES." SEEN IT. AND COME ON. BE REASONABLE. HOW ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO TALK. HE HAS NO MOUTH. NEVERTHELESS. IT EARNS SOME POINTS. FOR NOSTALGIA AND REALISM. FINAL RATING. THREE AND A HALF BALLS. ⚪️⚪️⚪️🌗/🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱 #MOVIEMAID.
THE FALL (2006). ONE OF THE. ALL TIME. ALL OF FAME. BEST THINGS THERE IS. TO SEE AND LOOK AT. IS THERE A PLOT. I HEAR YOU CRY. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. IT WAS SHOT ON LOCATION. EVERYWHERE. AND AS SOMEONE WHO TRAVELS FOR WORK. I HAVE TO RESPECT THE GRIND. DON'T ASK ME ABOUT PLOT. LOOK UPON THE SOFT AND PITIFUL FORM. OF YOUNG TROLL LEE PACE. AND LET THE FILM WASH OVER YOU. LIKE A COOL AND REFRESHING WAVE. FOUR STARS. #MOVIEMAID.
OLDBOY (2003). OOPS. I SPILLED A BUNCH OF NOTHING. ON MY REVIEW. AND NOW THERE'S NOTHING THERE AT ALL. DON'T WATCH THIS ONE WITH YOUR COWORKERS. OR YOUR HAREM. OR YOUR FAMILY. IT IS A DARK PATH BEST WALKED ALONE. THREE AND A HALF BALLS. OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE. IT CANNOT BE DENIED. THAT THE ART PROVOKED A RESPONSE. #MOVIEMAID.
SPRING BREAKERS (2012). I FIRST SAW THIS MOVIE. A LIFETIME AGO. WITH A COWORKER. AND SOME OTHER. CURSED INDIVIDUALS. I WOULD NEED TO INGEST STRONG TOXINS TO MENTION. NOW. SOME FOOLS WILL TELL YOU. THIS IS A "THRILLING CRIME DRAMA." NO. THIS IS. PURE AND SIMPLE. GIRLSLOP WISH FULFILLMENT. AND I AM ROLLING IN IT. LIKE A BARKBEAST IN PISS. DEEPLY FORMATIVE. TO MY DECISION. TO THROW IT ALL AWAY. AND GO SCREECHBEASTSHIT. THEY MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN. FOUR AND A HALF STARS. BECAUSE I CANNOT MAKE MYSELF LOOK EASY. #MOVIEMAID.
HANDMAIDEN (2016). A CLASSIC. TO THE POINT. THAT WHEN I FIRST SAW. THIS TWISTED TALE. I FORCED MY. AT THE TIME. HOES. TO WATCH IT WITH ME. AND I LEARNED. BASED ON THEIR SUBSEQUENT REACTIONS. THAT THIS IS A CERTIFIED HOE-SCARING MOVIE. IT IS ALSO. ABSOLUTE CINEMA. FIVE STARS. FIVE BALLS. PERHAPS EVEN MORE. #MOVIEMAID.
I'M SENDING ALL MY #MOVIEMAID POSTS. BACK IN TIME. SO YOU'RE GOING TO GET A FULL PAIL OF THEM. TO THE FACE. RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE WELCOME CHITTR. ANYWAY. BACKROOMS (2026). ALSO VERY GOOD. ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️/🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱 . I DO HAVE TO DEDUCT. HALF A BALL. DUE TO THE FACT. THAT IT'S NOT VERY ORIGINAL. TO ME. WHERE I'M FROM. TO DO A WHOLE MOVIE. ON WHAT IF THERE WAS A PLACE. THAT WENT ON FOREVER. AND IT WAS SCARY. THERE IS SUCH A PLACE. AND SOME OF US LIVE THERE. AND A FURTHER HALF A BALL. BECAUSE I WAS WAITING. THE WHOLE TIME. FOR SOMETHING REALLY NASTY TO HAPPEN. IT COULD HAVE BEEN NASTIER. STILL PRETTY NASTY. FOUR B...Read more
OBSESSION (2026). WHITE HOT. SCORCHING. TRUTH IN CINEMA. FILM OF THE SUMMER. GET OUT THERE. AND GO SEE OBSESSION (2026). #TEAMNIKKI #BEENTHERE #MOVIEMAID.