♦ pitied by @bigMama
every single time without fail, seeing the last name "harley" on this site will give me a mini heart attack. it's almost never the same harley either! why are there so gosh darn many of you?
#nsfw You guys ever thlam your bulge in the car door.
↘️no because. i'm going to lose my job.↘️ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/71d4230b4a26.png
But my aim is getting better.
im losing my mind at the moment nothing about right now is calm
MOM. I can cut my own hair! I am not some cluelessly inept little thumbsuck. If you would atop habitually confiscating and hiding every object sharper than silk sequin pillows, my split ends would be gone already.
I hope all the ice melts in your glass, either masking the presence of tiny finely compacted glass shards, or really, REALLY watering your drink down. By like a lot. A lot a lot. Your breath is also smelly and your hair is off-kilter somewhat.
the real reason i cant fill my quads is cause people refuse to make space for my gun sorry becky but ivve been emotionally invvolvved wwith my penultimate rifle long before your sorry landdwwellin ass strutted onto my shores #nsfww #gunsexual
JAKE MADE EAT A BUG JANE MADE ME TANK A BOMB ROX MADE ME BUY A DRUG DIRK MADE FLY TO GUAM #ROBOCONFESSION
"shes not gonna fuck u lil lady" yes she will she will if i post good #nsfw
karkat is getting an extra hour in the torture labyrinth today.
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was taking a chit and thought of an idea to shit but then i forgot it
oh my god is this what she was like?
my job is stacking paper and hanging wvith milwves. milfs? still not clear on that one
i would never do that
My Daves are blocking me and extorting money from me (sons and daughters). It really could be worse, Ro'Lal.
My daughter agreed to go sword shopping with me #number1dad #dadlife #proudfather #babiesfirstsword
Sometimes I wonder w)(ere I went wrong.
Mothers, in fact, do NOT know best.
God rest his soul. And the death mask you never allowed me to make.
Those do not represent my artistic prowess.
My roommates are fucking loud enough that I can hear it through my earbuds again. #nsfw
if i see anymore minions or related media to minions posting im gonna turn evil
> c00l 1'm scared
did anyone record that last lecture i fell asleep
Weve all been there!
> y0u c0uld n0t have t0rtured that 0utta me
Why would it hurt when you... nevermind. I don't want to know.
He Chitted "why Does It Hurt When I Pail"
Nah never mind finding a microwave now. This is that Texan ingenuity.
I'm not okay. #in33dadrink #alcohol
my dad just sprayed raid all over my fukcign bedroom ic ant breathe
no please slenderman ⚘ don't wanna f⚘nd your pages :(
https://media1.tenor.com/m/CfqG_Wf9jVEAAAAC/crystal-the-cavern-spirit.gif
URGENT PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: I have made contact with the entity known as SCP-173, and there is no need for alarm. When confronted with this creature, it is imperative you maintain eye contact at all times and back away slowly.
Shit. Time to delete my account.
I dunno kno\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/hat an scp be but I am shootin' it.
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Of course when I go for dinner I miss everything. + 60 Caegars Lack Of Notification Of Happenings
GIRL STOP DRINKING AND GENOMING UR GONNA PLAY GOD 2 HARD AND BRING PAIN INTO THE WORLD STOPPPPPP NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
normaLize having the same Last name as some famous Person without being LiteraLLy their descendant. there's LiteraLLy Less than Like a biLLion PossibLe six-Letter names!! obviousLy there wiLL be a few "serkets" around at any given Point, it's just math!! it doesn't mean anything!!!!!!!!
You're all losing your goddamn minds over some nuts?
B33 < if its a popcorn ceiling why do people get mad when i start chewing on it
just rem11nd11ng y0u all that mustardbl00d 11s a slur..
Alas have found myself what the humans have called a phone and have given me access to what has 8een known to me as the 'interwe8s', I see no we8s.
yeah sure hate my clit see if i care #nsfw
my taste has become a lot less refined since dog tiering shamefully, ill eat anything if you mash it up and put it in a bowl :(
saw someone edit their horns out of their human cosplay pic oh thats not…
((Unfortunate that i cant find any hispanic looking bro art SIGH))
wait big b hold on just hear me out man cmon @barackObama https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/dc8dd0ad5773.png
((I'm at work and being cussed out by grown adults over squishies. :) how's everyone else's days going lmao
Jaspers just hissed at Miss Mutini. Misogynist.
My robot locked the door to the bathroom. Currently picking the lock, listening to this dude empty my All in 1.
thank you, human mom. im not motherfuckin sure what a 'mixer' is though.
breaktime. IM A HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKER.
spore sexmod #nsfw
More of a Skullpanda girl, thanks for trying though. #Unknowable #Mommydoesntunderstandme #Labubu #Skullpanda
nah. kids now these days want the death of politicians and free healt care
Need a strong young fella to take out my grabdgae (my driveway is extremely long and fraught)
stop blocking me im pregnant and its yours
I miss my ex wife.
rose ate all my red scandinavian swimmers #nolongerafeminist #ihatewomen
Saw someone dissing Bronies and that’s a crime. #Brony #BronyPride
MY NAP DID NOTHING. I HAVE EVEN MORE HATE IN MY BONES.
Dulling your sparkle. #Filethepapers
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I Have Never Experienced Anybody Sadder Than This
Got overwhelmingly quick dogboy votes. Woof. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/4a/1a/a2/4a1aa252882e1ed2c342bd028adf9f01.jpg #nsfw
just got word from pinterest that ive broken fifteen international laws and theyre raiding my house #seeyouontheflipside #violationsnotice
I'M GLAD I MISSED WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT WAS WITH THE STRIDERS VS LALONDES DEBATE, BECAUSE I WOULD BE BURNED AT THE STAKE.
It means fish fear me and women want me. #peakmaleperformance #nsfw
My argument for Striders being hot. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ac/5b/cd/ac5bcdd7a7feae320bc83f84be8d334e.jpg #NSFW #FineStriders
#ChittrConfessional I used to play World of Warcraft.
Since before you needed to blow into a little device to start the car.
There's gotta be a troll Maury somewhere. Gonna save my daughter. #CallMaury #NeverGiveUp #NeverBackDown #LateAdoption
WH47 1Z 7H15 57R1L0ND3 57UFF 1 K35P 5331NG???
In every way am I fighting with the Lalondes, unfriendly arguing.
n3v3r l3t m3 sp34k 4g41n bc wh4t th3 fuck do you m34n 1 4cc1d3nt4lly summon3d cronus!!! >8/
My offer has been rescinded. I will be staying with Father for the time being.
((Okay I'm gonna ask you to take it dovwn a notch please, Cronus sucks and I'm playing him as a bad person, but come on, evwen if it's just IC please don't accuse me of that))
I dunno Ms. Lalonde. That's a lot of unauthorized illegal chucking.
-> that's certainly a good sign. (this is sarcasm)
...Fuck it BBQ sauce on Pasta for dinner!!!
Your mom didn't think it's a tiny fish. Lol #nsfw
Does it count to catch a tiny fish like that?
Nah you meant mommy. #nsfw #nsfwe
Everybody, cease. You are all making fools of yourselves with these antics.
G99dness. If y9u all can't help y9urselves fr9m p9sting rum6lespheres selfies and talking a69ut making 9ut with alternate selves, I'll 6e taking my leave f9r the rest 9f the day. #N9ThankY9u
(. Y .) #nsfw yall got me fucked up
this shit isnt normal mama idk what the fuck goin on
I broke my hookah by playing an intense game of marble ring taw just now. #shame!