♦ pitied by @grandioseSaturation
An #eridanweek finale official post. #gore #murder Good morning, all!!! For those of you attentive to religious milestones from worlds past, this day holds some significance. For others, it is merely the bookend on yet another long, toiling week. I propose an alternative! Day Five of #eridanweek was an endeavor of such indulgence that on Day Six, I bid you all rest. You may be feeling your own regrets. Remorse, guilt, embarrassment. A FOOLISHNESS for trusting someone close to you, or yourself for allowing that to happen. And perhaps you are even thinking to yourself: "Gee whiz!!! I am such a piece of shit BETRAYER to all things I ever held dear!" Well, come on down to the ORIGINAL #ERIDANWEEK VENUE for the ULTIMATE ACT OF ATONEMENT. This moral laxative is sure to grease the skids on utterly vacating you of ALL the self-doubt and emotional complications presently bloating you to discomfort. Your FIGURE OF WORSHIP is here to REDEEM YOU OF YOUR SINS. My sins! And most of all, HIS OWN PUTRID REPREHENSIBLE SINS. PAST AND PRESENT. You are reading this correctly. This evening, Eridan Ampora WILL BE CRUCIFIED. He will die FOR YOU, dearest worshipper. And we will all feel a whole lot better about ourselves. And if you personally were murdered by Eridan Ampora, YOU are entitled to a FREE JUMBO BUTTERSCOTCH TURNOVER. Visit the NANNA'S HANDPIES stand to redeem both this offer and your own moral failings. Happy fucking Eridan Week, traitor! >:( @caligulasAquarium
... Official stadtement maybe. In light of yesterdasy evening's festrivities, this day of #eridanweek will bes our day of rest. #dayofrest
... ... ... Good morning.
i'M A, bAD PERSON,
A #personalpost unrelated to official matters. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/13e808cfa613.png
Unfortunately, I was unable to participate in last night's festivities. I PERSONALLY made the perilous journey to a secure Crockercorp underground bunker to secure the requisite implement for tonight. ... Unlike our previous events, we invite ONLY the courageous select few among you to journey deep within yourselves. This will be a night of communion to forces with which you are all yet unawares. Access to a relic of the time before the Creators. Welcome to #eridanweek Night Five. How's the state of your sweet tooth? Confirm your attendance with #IWANTCANDY on the timeline. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/043f8154d007.png
A formal statement on the events of last night's MARVUS XOLOTO performance. It is my sincerest regret that our star performer was not able to enchant you all with the musical stylings of his newest single #BIGFATA$$. However, it seems the arrival of some additional bad actors, in a desperate plea NOT to change the ideologies of the people, but merely to gain my attention, detonated an explosive in the arena shortly after the announcement of the night's closing performance. UNFORTUNATELY, the sheer quantity of oil sprayed amongst the arena and crowds acted as an accelerator. Crockercorp pledges to utilize a water-based lubricant for all future events featuring two men in skimpy shorts slamming one another before a roaring crowd. Anyway. Reanimations and mass healings have taken place throughout the evening and are now completed. Thank you all for attending. Announcement for this evening's festivities are to come shortly. #eridanweek #bombing #oiledup #badcombo
How Peculiar. I do not understand this.
- And respectfully? "Speaking sense" to a level-headed mman is one of mmy FAVORITE things to do. 😌🙌 HOPEFULLY, these chronic lolly-gaggers find another hobby that'll boost their ROIs enough for themm to afford an actual life. LOL. 🙂↔️🙂↔️🤣🤣
Thank you to whomever decided to bomb the executive motorcade on its morning stroll. My flesh is resilient, but my lusus hide boots and coat are ruined. ALSO, my chauffeur was completely incinerated. We had to sift his charred bones from the everloving rubble. And now I have to give him a week's PTO. Not funny.
↘️you are my everything.↘️
It's fine. The computer still works for the moment. I just have to makjsf
s sometimes i w wonder a about what it w wouldve b been like to be n normal.
TH3Y H4V3 HORR1BL3 GR4PH1C D3S1GN