Crowbar
@numberSeven
Unfortunately employed. Third in command. Maroon mangler, headache handler, gang guy.
New chore list. Made some adjustments to past responsibilities, for wise guys thinking they could pass the buck to a future self or the next guy on the roster. #manorupdates
New coffee machine. Do not break it. #manorupdates
It's unfortunate how little this post is going to accomplish.
it's gonna last a day.
THE BEANS. WERE CRUSHED EXTRA GOOD THOUGH. MILK. WAS HAND PICKED.
That? Way above my paygrade. Probably yours too. Avoid the first floor and cellar for a while. #manorupdates
Still need it? Seems I'm in good standing with all... involved; might be able to retrieve it. Only if convenient, and pressing.
Just doing my job. You work twice as hard, a little back-scratch goes further.
Rain today. Bring umbrellas or dry off in the foyer. Any mud tracked in is two weeks of toilet plunging duty. #manorupdates
Headed into town for a tin of coffee. Last call for small must-haves. #manorupdates #feltshopping
Time shenanigans. Usually a hassle. But not all bad, all the time. Had a conversation I've been meaning to have for some time, and I didn't even get shot about it. Small victories.
Stab wound wasn't appreciated. It is what it is. #violence
Radio update for those away. Rain due within the hour. Try to be inside before then. If you track mud on the new parlor carpet, you're cleaning it up. #manorupdates
New rug shipment due in one hour. Clear the main hall of all shenanigans. Failure to do so results in maroon pruning, and double duty. #manorupdates #priority
Suppose that's my burden for letting private correspondence disappear into vents.
[ Fluttering through an unprotected crack in space-time is a note. It is pale green and marked with the letterhead of The Felt, an asymmetrically silhouetted Felt Manor viewed from the north side. The central spire is tipped by a glittering pearlescent drop of white ink. Scrawled beneath: a missive issued in cramped but neat cursive, richly maroon. The page is creased in two places, as though fit into an envelope at one point. ] To the editor in chief of Midnight City's ANTHROPODOGY Publication Office. Your journalistic excellence motivates me to stay apprised of your latest issues. I have no complaints, usually. In the June article of Movement As Culture, penned by Jubilant Communicant, a small paragraph detailing the dances typically associated with Leprechaun #Charms was included. Nine lines in all. A critical oversight on your part: none of it is accurate. Barely even legible, if we're hacking away at honesty. But we've had some... professional dealings in the past, sir. You pay your dues. You keep current on the news I read for. It's good work you do. Favor for the favors. Included is a short list of corrections to the charm-dance associations. Try to have August reflect an update. Wouldn't want to see you getting replaced so soon after your... chief predecessor left a vacancy in position. 🩷 Waltz. Measured, intimate, there's a way to do it. Someone always leads. 🔷 Jitterbug. Warm regards, lots of coordinated movement. Equals in every way. ⭐ Polka. Having fun, getting to know someone, learning the ropes. Someone leads. 🌙 Breakaway. Pursuit, distance, maintaining an orbit that push-pulls. Trading lead. 🎈 Flamenco. Fighting for control at all times. Nobody leads, but both are trying to. 🧲 Salsa. Performance for the sake of it. Compelling narrative. Someone leads. 🍀 Freestep. Testing waters. Setting to a pace. Lead-in before other charms. No leads. 💰 Bump or Boogaloo. Shoulder to shoulder, bar-fight-as-dance. No leads. 🌈 Swing. Knowing the dance by heart. Didn't have to practice it once. Someone leads. With occupational annoyance, Crowbar, Mister Seven of the Felt
AMATEUR CHARMOLOGISTS. COME GET YOUR SLOP. STRAIGHT FROM THE FROG'S VENT. @carbolicGalvanologist @carmineGnosiology.
👞👢👟hmmm....a waltz jitterbug polka breakaway flamenco style salsa freestep bump boogaloo swing???? might be difficult to get through allllllllll in just one night buuuuuuuuuuuuuut...!!!!👞👞👢 🫰🙌 since you went out of your way to tagggggggg me, and the medictator has assured me the stuff theyre flying in from overseas is deeeeeeeeeeeefinitely gonna take care of this awful cramp in my leg, like, omg? maybe? nah definitely. you have been sooooooo nicies to me since i got to the manor, like, how can i not? 🙌🫰 😄😆😅 sit tight, OK bestie? LA À𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐔 𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙈𝘼𝙄𝘿 is gonna show you some fancy footwork yet!!! it'll be sooooooooooo so so so lovely, and it'll make you forget all about the rancid skank bitch rust in your comment's section...not naming names! just shaming shames! hahahahah! i kid, i kid, it's damara 😅😆😄 🫵🫵🫶 you! me. all these dances you asked for, promie 🫶🫵🫵 #Chairministrangling #PlayingMusicalChairs #DancingUpTheCorporateLadder #EliteBallKnowledge #GalanteedToHaveAGoodTime 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE AND EN POINTE.
「MOM. MOMMY. MAMA. THERE'S A DISGUSTING BUG FLYING AROUND ME. KILL IT. KILL IT AND EAT IT. ONEGAI.」
Starting to see your pressing concerns about the new hire, Maid.
I TAKE NO PLEASURE IN HAVING TOLD YOU SO. #NOPLEASURE. #NONE. #PLATONIC. #CHASTE. #CELIBATE. #SFW.
What is yuri? Serious question. Concise replies preferred.
B33 < when two girls love each other furry much
Slang For Two Girls Involved Romantically Together
The hell is that smell.
Who made s'mores on the stove? #manorupdates
BOSS. SAID HE WANTED SMORE. AFTER CANS KILLED SOMEBODY. SO CANS MAKE SMORE. SO MANY SMORE.
Explains the mess. Did you put everything away, stripe? Er. Back in the place you go it from.
Clicking still plagues my office. Such is my unhurried, can't-be-assed-to-mince-about-it fate. Will resume my search after a nice walk. Fresh air, or as fresh as it gets on this dustheap.
Who was the last person on basement lock-checking duty? #manorupdates #highpriority
CANS KNOW CANS ANSWER. IF WANT TO ASK CANS. :)))) CANS WOULD HIT. HARD. WITH BIG KNUCKLES. TIGHT FORM FISTS. WILL NOT SEE FOR VERY LONG TIME EVER AGAIN.
YOU JUST WANT TO SEE DISGUSTING WENCH ON WENCH ACTION WHEN I GO DOWN THERE. DON’T YOU.
NO ONE IS SEEING DICK FuCKALL ON CuNT FuCKNOTHING. THE ONLY ACTION. BEING PERFORMED. BY ANY NONZERO NuMBER OF WENCHES. IS YOu. YOu ARE THE ONE. BEING ASKED. TO INSPECT THE STuPID FuCKING BASEMENT. SO DO IT. LIP IS FINE. SASS IS ACCEPTABLE. BACKBITING IS EXPECTED. NONCOMPLIANCE IS NOT.
NO CHANGE. AS PER USUAL. YOUR FEARSOMENESS. AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL. ABOUT A LITTLE WENCH ON WENCH. FOR OLD TIME’S SAKE. #MISSHERSOBAD #ARACHANWHENAREYOU #SHEWOULDYURIBAITWITHMEINFRONTOFYOULIKENOOTHER #HHHH
HOW I WOuLD FEEL IS ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT. HOW SHE FEELS. EQuALLY SO. RANKMAID WILL FuRNISH HER TITLE AND ITS PuNGENCY FOR MY PuRPOSES WHEN MY JAW SLACKS TO ACCOMODATE THE SLITHERING TONGuE OF TEETH SLICKING SALACIOuSNESS. ACCOMPANYING MY SICK AND TWISTED DESIRES. TO SEE YOu TWO ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER. IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY OWN GRAND DESIGN. YOuR FINGERS WILL ENSNARE LIKE BARS OF A CAGE. INTERSECTING WITH THOSE OF ANOTHER CAGE. ENSuRING AFFIRMATIONS AND LITTLE CHASTE TOuCHES CAN TEASE uP AND DOWN THE ARMS. YOu CAN EXCHANGE GLANCES. BASHFuL LINES OF INQuIRY ABOuT HOW AND WHY YOu BOTH BECAME THE WOMEN YOu ARE. BuT THOSE LINES BLuR AS YOu COME TO LOVE THE SWEET TENDER WARMTH OF LEARNED HANDS. OF ARTFuLLY CRAFTED HANDS. OF HAuNTINGLY HARROWING INTERSECTION OF MEAT AND MASS. OF TOuCH AND FEELING. OF THE MOPING SOFTNESS OF HER FEEBLE. “uWAH. BuT I DO NOT WANNA!” PROTESTS. AS YOu uNTANGLE EVERY KNOT. AND uNWASHED LITTLE TANGLE. IN EVERY HAIR ATOP MY ONEECHAN’S SMOOCHABLE BITCH HEAD.
OHHMFFUCKING. GOD. I MISS HER SO MUCH. MY BULBS ARE SO CLOSE TO SPILLING THEIR SLICK. ALL OVER MY PATHETIC WHORE FACE. FROM BEING TURNED ON. AND NO OTHER EMOTION. PLEASE EXCUSE ME. I NEED TO ATTEND TO AN URGENT PERSONAL MATTER.
I DID!!!! IT WAS NOTHING THREE HOURS AGO. AND IT WAS NOTHING JUST NOW. SHOULD I LOCK MYSELF IN THERE. ON ROUND THE CLOCK BITCH PATROL.
1/3 file cabinets. Took longer than expected. Can't say it wasn't appreciated, and won't say it wasn't a slog. May as well not say a damn thing, actually. 4/5 corners. Wallpaper's peeling in the forth corner. 1/3 tables. Moved my radio. Should be in a better position for the jazz hour. #clickhunt
OKAY. HOW MUCH OF THESE. HOW MANY MUCH OF THESE. WOULD BE BETTER. IF CANS PUNCHED HOLES INTO ALL OF THEM? ✊
Delicate touch needed here, Fifteen. The Mime's left a present in my office, Lord knows where, and expects me to turn monkey rings looking for it.
CANS CAN PUNCH SO SOFT. THINGS WITH HOLE IN IT WILL NOT EVEN KNOW HOLE IS THERE. UNTIL SECONDS PASS. AND HANDS PASS THROUGH IT. LIKE. DAMN. HOLE THERE NOW.
You got a way with words, big man. ...Tell you what. Could use two big hands moving some furniture around. But you've got to be Tinkerbell about it, understand? All grace, all flutter.
CANS. WILL TINKER. TO EVERY BELL. GRACEST FLUTTER EVER FLUTTED. LIKE PRETTY LITTLE BUG. WILL NOT BE EVEN ONE FURNITURE. THAT DOES NOT GET MOVED SOMEWHERE.
Good man, stripe. My office. Third floor, north wing, with the crooked door.
Not a problem. Suits me fine, and it's easier to find in the dark when damn-near-dead tired. Either way, you'll know the way in.
:o) You're being very thorough. :o) It is a good trait.
2/5 corners. Kittybitch droppings located, which explains the smell. Another detailing for the Chalkbox. Poor sod's got every bit of work cut out for him. 1/3 chairs. Expected something big, considering the massive tear. Just a handful of not-inflated balloons. I don't do balloons. Remanded to wastebin. #clickhunt
:o) Inflate the balloons.
Agreein' on a game of "find" don't translate to a game of "puff air into balloons" for me. Eurgh. Obscene. #nsfw
About time. #dashwatching
Overhead light checked. Bulb needed changing. Flickering, sure, but the :o) occupying the glass was a factor. 3/4 bookshelves. Reorganized my Sensible Chuckle collection. Found three coupons for the cinema in issue 80085. Unsurprising. #clickhunt
:o) Ah, you found my face! :o) That's important for a mime, you know. :o) I should much like it back at earliest convenience. :o) Keep looking for my toy, though...
Noted. Return :o) besmirched lightbulb to whatever room you're haunting this week.
:'o) I do have a respite block you know :'o) You just never visit :'o) Shunned...by dearest Uncle Crowbar
Could have fooled me. Sometimes I wonder if you and Megido are playing musical blocks.
;o) Well, we often appear in one another's respite blocks, that's for certain
One inexplicable mandatory time-nonsense hassle later. Office is still haunted. The search continues. "Party books" returned to shelf. #clickhunt
:o) Hee hee.... :o) Hoo hoo.... :o) Haa haa.... :o) Come now, Uncle Crowbar. You're surely a better detective than those carapacians, aren't you? Show them up. :o) Do our shining syndicate proud.
Never been the type to fumble. But you do tempt me, sometimes, to let my standards fall just the once. Scandalous.