The Beforian Times Presents: The Leijon Gossip Column
@beforianTimes
Just a kitty with all of the hottest gossip this side of beforus, now on chittr! Personal account is @articulatedClawtography
Was scrolling thu my palmhusk and found this pic I took last night at #eridanweek mew~ Managed to snag some VIP seating with the GOATs 👑 @barackObama 🏓 @archiveAddict and 📸 @beforianTimes https://i.imgur.com/ibfX7m1.jpeg #substances #blood mew~ 💖✨
:33 < H33h33, this is a wonderfurr picture!! Thank mew so much for taking it!
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! IS JAKE DONE FOR, OR WILL #eridanw33k's NAMESAKE SAVE HIM?! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0b3a7397289c.png
:33 < Hiiiiiii :3c
8-> SWING BY DURING THE #RUMBLEINDAPUMPKINPATCH AT #ERIDANWEEK FOR A COMMEMORATIVE RUMBLE T-SHIRT, WHICH YOU CAN PURCHASE WITH YOUR #AMPORACOIN!
just heard that #amporaco1n a1n’t do1ng so well… you got other 1nvestment opt1ons?
8-> A COMMON MISCONCEPTION! #AMPORACOIN IS ACTUALLY GOING NUCLEAR AS #ERIDANWEEK MOVES ON!
:33 < Nyo, bisnuesses have #closed due to the tanking stockin #amporacoin! buisness fraudsters will say whatever they can to pump and dump!
Unrelated to tonight's festivities. Settling a disagreement with a board member. At what temperature is most appropriate to eat your dinner, presuming the meal is NOT meant to be served chilled? ♥️ - Scalding hot. ♦️ - Hot, but after having cooled down for a couple of minutes. ♠️ - Lukewarm. ♣️ - Room temperature.
:33 < According to fan purrveys, about 50% purrcent of trolls like their dishes ICE COLD!
Horrific! Thank you!
:33 < BEAKING NEWS! Chittr user and prolific clown @clownBae has dropped some SICK FIRE by the title of #BIGFATA$$! A wonderfurrly clowny song that I suggest mew listen to at least once to get a f33ling for the direction the mewsic industry may be headed! It's good to know if you're trying to bag a shawty with her fronds right on the pulse of whats hip :3c Have a listen here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjP2hLxUaKs
:33 < Oops! We here ar The Leijon Gossip Colum would like the make an adendum: This is the ACUAL Link furr the song, excuse our butter paws! https://youtu.be/6SsqOFk_0z0?si=mCfxApgWukTv7ETA
She's back to abnormal.
:33< if i efur hear the second half of that word again itll kill meow
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! Good Meowning, loyal readers, today is a good day, because today is the day @gutsyGumshoe has decided to enter the ring with The Leijon Gossip Column! And by extension, the Beforian times as not only has she THREATENED to unlawfully put the staff and writers BEHIND BARS for simply reporting the news as they s33 it, but has ADMITTED to the fact she may have ind33d b33n on illicit substances! Check out the hot proof below! #substances https://i.imgur.com/hID0nS1.png https://i.imgur.com/B7hMEsO.png
Why did you create false screen captures of my account. That seems a little amateurish.
:33 < This is a low accmewsation to make! Check the full thread below, beloved fans! https://chittr.ing/profile/beforianTimes/6fc917a6-4446-47e6-9b70-a58e1f255a4a#reply-6fe489ce-43b1-4b2f-8638-79c8a6512b27
:33 < #fentycrocker is TRENDING after the Jane Crocker fentantyl scandal continues to grow in size!
UGH. Oh, I'll tell you where you can stuff this ridiculous libel.
:33 < We apurreciate the difurrence betw33n libel and slander being noted! This is a very smart girl thing to notice Ms. Crocker! But also mew were totally high on furrentanyl.
I've shunted nosier sniffers than yours behind bars.
:33 < Purrhaps mew would like to submit yourself to a drug test funded by The Beforian Times? We are ready to go down this path if mew are, Ms. Crocker.
As it so happens, attempting to measure my physiology using your paltry means will do little to stick your point. My body has undoubtedly long since metabolized even the trace elements of anything I may or may not have accidentally ingested. I am FULLY healed.
Fuck I should have just said yes.
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! An attend33 at #erdianw33k has approached us purrivately to confess to something absomewtely DEVIOUS! "Yeah so Jane Crocker just came up to me in the crowd and I was giving out some edibles to my friends and I totally just fed her a sugar cube laced with fent myself like a horse lmao." IS @gutsyGumshoe HIGH AT HER OWN EVENT?! #substances https://i.imgur.com/JYhXZ6Y.png
:33 < Oops, wrong account ladies and gentlemews! Wont happen again! #oopsies
:33 < PHILOSOPHY CORNER! From the wise words of Troll Buddha "We are all just here to pail"! #nsfw
I am a fxllxwer xf The Svfferer bvt that is a very intrigving kwvxte #nsfw
:33 < From our knowedlge here at the Leijon Gossip Corner, The Signless believed that love is love. And that love is to be expressed fr33ly among all who wish to have it. We can't doubt for a moment that his wishes would have not b33n dissimilar to "we are all just here to pail".
I am not in a sexual relationship with that man.
:33 < The prespurrdent doth protest too much!
:33 < Specurelation corner! It has come to this kitty's attention that user and purresident @barackObama may be in a black relationship with previous purresident Franklin Trollsevelt, as s33n in the current purresident's chit s33n below! https://i.imgur.com/3hlLKSR.png
How do I delete someone else's post.
... Ahem. Both Eridan Prime and Troll Bruno Mars have been successfully recovered from the clutches of the nefarious skank haunting my venue. The perimeter is now open for those of you who would like to roam the grounds. Crockercorp drones have been recalled. All attendees of #eridanweek are now entitled to one free deep-fried triple glazed cinnamon honey butter stick. Thank you for your patience. And now. Troll Bruno Mars.
:33 < And what of Troll Jerma and The Handwich man?!
【 Tick tock, #EridanWeek. I'm feeling the anticipation. Are you? #MayICome 】
:33 < May we reach out for a statement?
:33 < Come oooooon, this is a perfect opportunity for a psycho to air out their demands to a wide audience like The Beforian Times offers!
[|||] i already got my nook filled by that cute dummy darlin at #eridanweek so i don't really care what happens, i'm going hoooooome lmao~ #nsfw
:33 < WHAT A HOT SCOOP! Who was it!
[|||] i literally said her name lmao go investigate some other troll i'm not even famous~
:33 < H33h33, maybe so.. but straight from the hoofbeast's mouth is always better!