The Beforian Times Presents: The Leijon Gossip Column
@beforianTimes
Just a kitty with all of the hottest gossip this side of beforus, now on chittr! Personal account is @articulatedClawtography
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! CEO @gutsyGumshoe HAS ATTACKED ONE OF OUR REPURRTORS AT #fightnight OBSERVE THE PROOF BELOW! [Pictured is a really badly shot image clearly taken in a scuffle, the accused Jane Crocker s33ms to be getting a really unfortunate flash of bright light in her face, no doubt from a camera which, equally unfortunate, is making her look like a crazed lunatic as she tries to shield her eyes from the flash, motion blurs lining her as the cameraperson is clearly trying to get away.]
i support #girlwrongs if its janey commitin them
:33 < She apurroached us despite being a purrublic figure in a purrublic place and insisted we delete our photos or she'd crush our camera and BURRY us!
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! Chittr user and local sexless fuckboy who has b33n recently jailed for 'Crimes', @aeneasCaldarium has reportedly b33n given a TRAMP STAMP in prison?! This perhaps breaks the WORLD RECORD for recieving a tattoo in prison set previously by @glamorousAuspaciar ! What do you think? Has Cronus lost his way, or are you just curious who that stud who gave him the ink in the first place is?
Why did I get a rando+m stray bullet here?
:33 < Beclaws we only tell the truth! And your truth is news.
Oh, all right.* *FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES ONLY. #nsfw I guess. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6c6afb9be7a7.jpeg
:33 < #sexcruise
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! LURID coverup of a pawsible SEX CRUISE being taken by the "Alphas" hosted by quintillionare CEO of crockercorp @gutsyGumshoe to commemorate PURRVERTED BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION???? #nsfw #sexcruise #leijonnews #breakingnews
OH SHUT THE FUCK UP.
:33 < We've also heard reports that the included jet-skis will be renamed to SEX-SKIs and will be used to FUCK NASTY STYLE! Any comment?
WHY ARE MY PRIVATE SONGS(KARKALICIOUS) I MADE WITH DAVE ON SPOTIFY. DAVE, WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT #PRIVACY.
Are you confirming that War Commander Karkat and Broadway Karkat are the same individual? @beforianTimes This gossip is juicy.
:33 < WRITING CONTEST!!! Furr tonight's lack of festivities clawnsidering the #dayofrest sabath #eridanw33k s33ms to be holding after a.. rather generously title 'fiasco' yestpurrday, The Leijon Gossip Column would like to offurr a small challenge to pay the tithe to our lord @caligulasAquarium INTROMEWCING!!! THE #leijonwriting CHALLENGE!!! Here, mew may submit any purriece of writing under the previous hashtag, and given certain topics mentioned like #eridanw33k or #yaoi / #yuri, you may recieve specpurr points depending on how much I like their usage :3c Mew may get some kind of prize furr it, maybe acceptance as a spurrecial guest in an upcoming eridanw33k event? We'll figfurr it out together! PROMPT: (F33l fr33 to customize it! This is just an example) You're at a bar. It's late. You hear the bells of the door jingle as you stare d33p into the half empty drink before you, you don't even care who it is.. but then you f33l a touch on your arm. You look over. It's Eridan... What does he want? What do you do? Do you want him? He might want you.. Anyway, happy writing!
no carry on wwhatevver havve your fun
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ is it necessary to use eridan. ]
:33 < I supurrose not, but It would be prefurred! If mew want, you could write about yours mewly for example ;33
It seems like a fun and harmless writing exercise. I will attempt to portray Ampora in the most dignified manner I can muster.
:33 < Clawmody goes a long way too! Be as respectfurr or disrespectfurr as mew desire, sire!
Was scrolling thu my palmhusk and found this pic I took last night at #eridanweek mew~ Managed to snag some VIP seating with the GOATs 👑 @barackObama 🏓 @archiveAddict and 📸 @beforianTimes https://i.imgur.com/ibfX7m1.jpeg #substances #blood mew~ 💖✨
:33 < H33h33, this is a wonderfurr picture!! Thank mew so much for taking it!
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! IS JAKE DONE FOR, OR WILL #eridanw33k's NAMESAKE SAVE HIM?! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0b3a7397289c.png
are they gay
:33 < Hiiiiiii :3c
8-> SWING BY DURING THE #RUMBLEINDAPUMPKINPATCH AT #ERIDANWEEK FOR A COMMEMORATIVE RUMBLE T-SHIRT, WHICH YOU CAN PURCHASE WITH YOUR #AMPORACOIN!
just heard that #amporaco1n a1n’t do1ng so well… you got other 1nvestment opt1ons?
8-> A COMMON MISCONCEPTION! #AMPORACOIN IS ACTUALLY GOING NUCLEAR AS #ERIDANWEEK MOVES ON!
:33 < Nyo, bisnuesses have #closed due to the tanking stockin #amporacoin! buisness fraudsters will say whatever they can to pump and dump!
Unrelated to tonight's festivities. Settling a disagreement with a board member. At what temperature is most appropriate to eat your dinner, presuming the meal is NOT meant to be served chilled? ♥️ - Scalding hot. ♦️ - Hot, but after having cooled down for a couple of minutes. ♠️ - Lukewarm. ♣️ - Room temperature.
:33 < According to fan purrveys, about 50% purrcent of trolls like their dishes ICE COLD!
Horrific! Thank you!
:33 < BEAKING NEWS! Chittr user and prolific clown @clownBae has dropped some SICK FIRE by the title of #BIGFATA$$! A wonderfurrly clowny song that I suggest mew listen to at least once to get a f33ling for the direction the mewsic industry may be headed! It's good to know if you're trying to bag a shawty with her fronds right on the pulse of whats hip :3c Have a listen here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjP2hLxUaKs
:33 < Oops! We here ar The Leijon Gossip Colum would like the make an adendum: This is the ACUAL Link furr the song, excuse our butter paws! https://youtu.be/6SsqOFk_0z0?si=mCfxApgWukTv7ETA
She's back to abnormal.
:33< if i efur hear the second half of that word again itll kill meow
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! Good Meowning, loyal readers, today is a good day, because today is the day @gutsyGumshoe has decided to enter the ring with The Leijon Gossip Column! And by extension, the Beforian times as not only has she THREATENED to unlawfully put the staff and writers BEHIND BARS for simply reporting the news as they s33 it, but has ADMITTED to the fact she may have ind33d b33n on illicit substances! Check out the hot proof below! #substances https://i.imgur.com/hID0nS1.png https://i.imgur.com/B7hMEsO.png
Why did you create false screen captures of my account. That seems a little amateurish.
:33 < This is a low accmewsation to make! Check the full thread below, beloved fans! https://chittr.ing/profile/beforianTimes/6fc917a6-4446-47e6-9b70-a58e1f255a4a#reply-6fe489ce-43b1-4b2f-8638-79c8a6512b27