The Beforian Times Presents: The Leijon Gossip Column
@beforianTimes
Just a kitty with all of the hottest gossip this side of beforus, now on chittr! Personal account is @articulatedClawtography
:33 < OH MY GOD https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/622d328f8d3b.png #eridanw33k #willyoucome #rumblenight
:33 < According to FIRST HAND REPORTS, local POWER COUPLE DIRKJAKE has broken out into a REAL fight at #eridanw33k, on stage at #rumblenight!!!
B33 < i cant believe im missing peak toxic yaoi this is bullshit
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!! DOES IS TROLL BRUNO MARS IS PERVERTED AT #eridanw33k #rumblenight
Can we stop acting surprised that he sucks. He stole my song and now he continues to act the worst.
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! IS JAKE DONE FOR, OR WILL #eridanw33k's NAMESAKE SAVE HIM?! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0b3a7397289c.png
:33 < LIVE REACTION Pictured is a LIVE REACTION to the DIRK JAKE PAWSIBLE KISS at #rumblenight #eridan #AREYOUCOMING? https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/16287606ba93.png @archiveAddict @barackObama
I JUST NOTIC3D I'M LOOMING IN TH3 BACKGROUND LIK3 A SP3CT3R THIS IS AMAZINGGG mew~ 💖✨
:33 < BREAKING #eridanw33k NEWS! Picture taken LIVE at #rumblenight! Feast mewre eyes! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/044218f5f94c.png
:33 < #GETTHATPICKLEUP!!
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!! DIRECT QUOTE: JAKE: Heavens to betsy dirk youre so big! More later...
:33 < JAKE IS ON THE FLOOR ALREADY AT THE BEHEST OF STRIDER!!! WILL DIRK GET ON TOP?? #rumblenight #eridanw33k
:33 < BEAKING NEWS DIRK STRIDER SHOWS UP NAKED TO #rumblenight
ok i might zhow up to eridan week guyz
FOR THIS BETRAYAL I WILL ENSURE YOU ARE PUNISHED IN THE DIVINE
OH WELL THAT CHANGES THINGS, I WILL ENSURE A LESSER PUNISHMENT IN THE DIVINE FOR HAVING MISLED ME (FOR OF COURSE, I CANNOT EVER RISK LETTING SOMEONE YEARN FOR DAVE STRIDER)
:33 < #rumblenight ANNOUNCEMENT!!! DIRK STRIDER/JAKE ENGLISH QUOTE: DIRK: We've got one question for you all. JAKE: ARE YOU READY... TO.... JAKE: EFFING RUMBLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:33 < COMMENTATOR ANNOUNCEMENT #eridanw33k THE SHOW IS SET TO BEGIN SOON!!
:33 < BEAKING NEWS, FURRANKLIN TROLLSEVELT, EX-KISMESIS TO @barackObama HAS TURNED UP AT #rumblenight!!!
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!! #rumblenight is ABOUT TO BE LIVE! Yours mewly will be commentating OFFICIALLY!!! Follow for news on #eridanw33k and DONT MISS THIS!! https://msparp.chat/eridanww33k
:33 < They're coming for me....
:33 < BREAKING NEWS! FAMOUS LUSUS Donkey Kong WILL be attending #eridanw33k, is this purrhaps a SECRET CONTENDER for #rumblenight?! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/482d31ec56fc.png
hell no i am not wwrestlin a third ape twwo is bad enough
:33 < LIVE NEWS COVERAGE! Join us LIVE at the ringside of #rumblenight when THREE TITANS CLASH!!! Be sure to follow @beforianTimes to get ALL the hottest coverage where NOTHING WILL GO WRONG!! I mewself will be purrsonally commentating over the event along with the other casters. We hope to s33 mew there! #eridanw33k https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/92250a533eae.png
:33 < BEAKING NEWS! Chittr user and prolific clown @clownBae has dropped some SICK FIRE by the title of #BIGFATA$$! A wonderfurrly clowny song that I suggest mew listen to at least once to get a f33ling for the direction the mewsic industry may be headed! It's good to know if you're trying to bag a shawty with her fronds right on the pulse of whats hip :3c Have a listen here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjP2hLxUaKs
:33 < Oops! We here ar The Leijon Gossip Colum would like the make an adendum: This is the ACUAL Link furr the song, excuse our butter paws! https://youtu.be/6SsqOFk_0z0?si=mCfxApgWukTv7ETA
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!!! Good Meowning, loyal readers, today is a good day, because today is the day @gutsyGumshoe has decided to enter the ring with The Leijon Gossip Column! And by extension, the Beforian times as not only has she THREATENED to unlawfully put the staff and writers BEHIND BARS for simply reporting the news as they s33 it, but has ADMITTED to the fact she may have ind33d b33n on illicit substances! Check out the hot proof below! #substances https://i.imgur.com/hID0nS1.png https://i.imgur.com/B7hMEsO.png
Why did you create false screen captures of my account. That seems a little amateurish.
X Eridan threatened to kill any legal workers Tamora sent to investigate eridanweek so it’s on brand for this whole thing x
:33 < This is a low accmewsation to make! Check the full thread below, beloved fans! https://chittr.ing/profile/beforianTimes/6fc917a6-4446-47e6-9b70-a58e1f255a4a#reply-6fe489ce-43b1-4b2f-8638-79c8a6512b27
:33 < #fentycrocker is TRENDING after the Jane Crocker fentantyl scandal continues to grow in size!
UGH. Oh, I'll tell you where you can stuff this ridiculous libel.
:33 < We apurreciate the difurrence betw33n libel and slander being noted! This is a very smart girl thing to notice Ms. Crocker! But also mew were totally high on furrentanyl.
:33 < Purrhaps mew would like to submit yourself to a drug test funded by The Beforian Times? We are ready to go down this path if mew are, Ms. Crocker.
As it so happens, attempting to measure my physiology using your paltry means will do little to stick your point. My body has undoubtedly long since metabolized even the trace elements of anything I may or may not have accidentally ingested. I am FULLY healed.