♠ hated by @gleefullyCurvaceous
e77, slide that m7 wa7, please and thank 7ou
Cleaning out my desk. #StraightPride #Ex #NotExStraight #ExBoyfriend #StillStraight #FYI
FINALLY.
lotta good girls out and about right nowv, huh? ;) #suggestivwe
$22.22 deducted fr0m account...
if you evwer catch your matesprit smiling at her phone its probably because of something i chitted. she thinks im hilarious and vwants to fuck me.
hehehe i'm holding you to that! ;D
make me.
and isn't that just the very worst fate imaginable? >:)
sorry my sister. BUT TAKE SOLACE IN THE FACT. that this time around. IT WAS ERIBRO GETTING HIS BACK BROKEN BY ME.
@caligulasAquarium @timaeusTestified#0414 @golgothasTerror #rumbleindapumpkinpatch #iykyk https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/998b819e0c87.gif
@terminallyCapricious#2753 @caligulasAquarium #rumble https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/405e732f4313.png
:o) THANKS FOR THE RATING MY GOOD MOTHER FUCKER. maybe you won't have to imagine it for much longer. IF YOU ALL UP AND DOWN WITH A MOTHER FUCKER STICKING HIS DIRTY FINGERS IN YOUR PAN AND PUPPETING YOU AROUND. the fact that you knew about the curling shit at the tip made me let out a damn nice honk.
#nsfw #bulgerating @terminallyCapricious#2753 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScbly6NLeS7p-MQb61x9AdAftQP_unmBPZ8Hg4R1AElPpz7Ew/viewform?usp=header While I'm at it, attaching my image of approval here. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c15a5232b436.png A bulge of concern. I feel strange reading it, given recent events. But the show must go on! Gamzee Makara is a subjuggulator who has earned a lot of respect from me across the various instances of myself gazing at his postings. Even if it's not necesssarily *THIS* Gamzee Makara. Hfff. Also. He is VAGUELY. Not too sure. But he is VAGUELY communing back with me as I try to read his bulge. It seems to be very angry mutterings. His chucklevoodoos must be particularly active! -------- Ｓｔａｔｓ Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 8 I do not know if this is because of his recently increased state of rage, or if it is always this powerful. Gamzee Makara's bulge is quite capable of breaking some of my digits if I mishandle it. This thought both excited and frightens me. Moreso, it makes me worry for his various partners he has had. Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 6 I think this is a respectable statistic, and I am frankly glad it is somewhat inhibited here. Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 9 Hffff. Okayokay. Ihavehad. Thishighblood'sbulge onmypan for quite sometime. I can only imagine whatit would be like to be in a position in which he gets to loftily weigh it upon your face. Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 7 Heh. Hhehheh. Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ： 5 His X-Factor is interesting. It comes from the subtle features. I will explain in full after the stats and attributes section. -------- Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅｓ Ｓｃｅｎｔ： He sort of smells like cough drops? A stale, sweet, medicinal taste. Which, frankly, if this were the medicine I were perscribed, I would be happy... Ｔａｓｔｅ： The taste is better than the smell. Like, the opposite of soap. There is a mustiness to it, that comes with the business, but still. The taste is much more lively than the smell. Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ： Rubbery, and, has a feature often seen in seadwellers. Microscales. The texture is smooth in one direction, but rough as he leaves. With his strength, I wouldn't be surprised if he could do some damage to a nook... Oh... That's what I saw... Weight: 2.4 Pounds. The X-Factor Score comes from the troll's texture, strength, and shape combination. His bulge has a weight distribution that leaves the base much denser than the tip. This means he is extra agile at the end, and his bulge likely curls in on itself in such a way when it's in you that it feels even bigger and better.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/244f836ffabc.jpeg
suckin on jake's human pipe make a mother fucker real tranquil. I WAS BLOWING THAT BITCH SO LONG AND SO HARD THAT I CAN'T UP AND MOTHER FUCKING KEEP MY EYES OPEN NO MORE. shit filled the whole room with that good good smell and all you mother fuckers who can hang should know that hanging with me and @golgothasTerror is a mother fucking good time. JUST ASK HIM ABOUT HIS HOOKAH. #nsfw #substance @archiveAddict #suggestive
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 10: wvriska serket #nsfvw #nsfvwe #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl lol sorry for not making you part 8. this is about the point wvhere, if youre a highblood, you stop havwing an immediate advwantage. i mean, there might still be something if youre a lovwblood and you wvanna do some rewversal stuff going on, but i dont knowv enough about that to comment. nah, instead vwe gotta get right to this jerk-88 8a8e. shes a lot like terezi. hell, play your cards right, could get a scourge sister threesome going on. but wvhat i mean is that shes usually a bit of a paper tiger. showve her around a bit and shell crumple. she might complain and vwhine the vwhole time but she aint about to stop you. see the big difference here is that wvriskas are desperate. she needs to be wvanted, to be useful, to be appreciated. vriskas are some of the biggest suckers for compliments i knovw. you cant let her actually feel stability though, she needs to be afraid that evwerything shes vworked so hard for might get swvept out from under her feet at any moment. thats howv you svweep her off her feet, bada boom. lay it on thick vwith the backhanded compliments, especially if shes a lil skinnier. for some reason ivwe met a lotta wvriskas embarrassed about her cup size. another big thing, lusus issus. hoo boy, shes gottem out the wvazoo. she thinks shes gotta be wviolent and strong and the one in charge, so you make her feel soft and wveak and dependent on you, the provwider shes newver had. i like to be a lil stern sometimes too, telling her off for cussing, maybe throvwing a fevw spankings in there. they go gaga for that. im not just talking in the body though, its gotta be in the mind. if she can mind control you, uhh... hot, but also good luck, ivwe literally newver had to wvorry about that. the point is, shes using to controlling other people, so you gotta get in her head and rewverse it on her. make her feel like shes got no choice but to think the wvay you vwant her to think. i think wvriskas are probably the biggest losers there are. i mean that in a relativwe sense, like obvwiously there are people vwho start at a lowver baseline, but howv far these serks fall is just incredible. theyll go from saying shed newver be wvith a guy like you to mumbling about howv she vwants to gargle your globes in the space of one conwversation. dont let her evwer start to climb back up after she falls. yoink her glasses maybe, tell her she looks cute wvithout em, so she has to cling onto you to wvalk anyvwhere. make her dress all demeaning, make her act cutesy, just totally humili8 this girl. its like, karmic justice or vwhatevwer, she lowves it. r8ing: bod: wvriskas tend from scrawvny to awverage in my experience. youll sometimes meet the 8im8o bod ones sure, but theyre outliers. she tends to be pretty insecure about her figure wvhich makes up for it. plenty cute, ill take it. 6/10 wvariety: theres a lot you can do wvith wvriska. shes competitivwe, shes ovwerconfident, shes needy, shes desperate, shes a loser, shell go for stupid bets, she might evwen mind screvw some other gals for her if you ask nicely. shout out to the magic card game vwris, vwhat a keeper. 10/10 ease: this is a hard one to rate because shes on both extremes. either its an instant loss 2koma type thing, or she makes each lil wvictory like pulling teeth. im inclined to giwve her the benefit of the doubt here since she makes it fun. 7.9/10 personality: another hard one to rate. like, shes annoying sure, and desperate, and needy, and clingy, but sometimes thats vwhat you vwant in a gal. wvriskas are probably the best around if you actually vwant to "date" someone but dont vwant it to be longterm. set yourself up right so she hangs off your ewvery vword and shell practicallly vworship you. real cute. 7.9/10 ovwerall: okay baby, ill stop edging you. 8/10. if i can tell shes looking to be broken ill alvways go for a tumble wvith a wvriska. wvho doesnt lowve a classic fall from grace? plus, since shes like a bad person or something it means i dont havwe to wvorry about being sexist or misogynistic or vwhatevwer, no one cares if you act like that tovwards someone they dont like. vwhat a lady, huh?
fuck this. I'M GOING OFF PLANET. flarp or whatever. I NEED TO COOL OFF. and crack some mother fucking skulls like cherry candy. BYE.
she told everyone. SHE TOLD EVERYONE. it ain't enough you gotta mother fucking rip my pusher out and stomp on it. SIT ON IT WITH YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS AND GET SOME STEPS IN. you gotta mother fucking tell everyone i know so they can all point and laugh at me. I CAN'T DO THIS NO MORE.
i ain't actually in no fridge. I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T MOTHER FUCKING BREATHE. i hate her i hate her i hate her. I HATE THEM ALL.
I'M OUTSIDE MY HIVE MOTHER FUCKING PUNCHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL I GOT PURPLE EVERYWHERE THIS SHIT CANNOT BE REAL.
i'm in that damn fridge. I'M TRAPPED AND I'M ALL ALONE AND I CAN'T GET OUT. i broke my damn computer and now i only got my palm husk. I NEED A BREWSKI. i need twenty five mother fucking gallons of that human heineken shit and one hundred steaming mother fucking sopor pies.
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill. MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill. MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill. MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill. MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM MAIM.
are you saying you didnt evwen read it?
I GOT THAT SHINY NEW ROCKING #PROFILEPICTURE. i'm watching you from your closet door at night. I'M INSIDE YOUR WALLS LIKE IM INSIDE BIG BOOTY FAT BITCHES. in fact i got a little bit of scripture i wanna share for all y'all brothers sisters and mother fuckers who got that big wagon wobbling behind you. "WELL THE FUCK I WILL REWARD YOU WHEN YOU COME BACK TO HIVE. so well will i show my flush for your thicc mother fucking ass, not for a night and a day and a night will you get feeling back in your mother fucking legs." HOT SHIT, FLUSHED LETTERS 69:69. honk. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/32de0e71b932.jpeg
yet you dont contradict it. curious
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 9: terezi pyrope #musk #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl this gal is the reason the color teal givwes me a boner. a good terezi is one of the best vways a fella can spend a day, just ask lil makara. the #pyrump is it real and damn does she enjoy getting it spanked. if i see a rezi ill usually open up wvith a good slap to the ass, i alwvays get good reactions. if not that, at least take advwantage of her being blind to get a good look. like, i think she has some kinda superpowver or anything, that or half of em kinda forget theyre blind, but may as wvell try to get awvay vwith it. so vwhats her deal? paper tiger. terezis lowve to fight and they lovwe to lose. theyll talk a big game, but lay on the right compliments, the right insults, and shell be svweating. put a hand on her shoulder, her hip, maybe shell try to push you off, but dont let her. the thing about games is that they havwe rules, right? follovw the rules up until itll only take one good rule break to get you the vwin. after that, the wvorld is your oyster. or, wvell, terezi is your toy. trunkbeast in the room, terezis fuckin lowve to smell and lick stuff. ewven if she wverent blind im sure she vwould, but they say havwing one scent gone makes the other stronger. wvalk up wvith a good musk going and she might just go right into heat. tell her theyre your pheromones or something, tell her that she doesnt havwe a chance of fighting em off. shell probably still try, but vwhat youre doing here is essentially giwving her permission to lose, to givwe in. shes got a lotta pride, it might mess vwith her self-image to just giwve up of her owvn accord. offload that responsibility onto something she "cant control" and shelll givwe you a big ol dopey smile as she vwraps her arms around you and says she lowves you. nowv ewven if she aint into the vwhole scentplay biz, shell definitely be an oral addict. she can do some freaky ass things vwith that tongue. if youwve got a terezi vwhos being a bit of a brat, put her on her knees and showve her face up against the crotch of your pants and shell start babbling. get her to giwve you a proper taste and shell be hooked. you gotta get her owverstimulated enough her pan shorts out, she thinks too damn much. special shoutout to the maid cafe rezi by the wvay, real svweetheart. dont try anything though, shes my gal for novw. guess that reminds me, shes sorta the "tomboy" of the alternian trolls, for wvhatewver that means. makes it a lotta fun to dress her up all cute, shell usually get embarrassed about it. shes a smart gal and used to analyzing ewverything, you need to get her to the state wvhere shes thinking wvith her emotions, thats vwhere youll get vwhat you wvant outta her. and dont expect her to start behawving after just one good night either, theyre pretty good at playing into roles wvhen they vwanna, but then theyll laugh it off the next night. infuriating, but wve all play hard to get for a reason. the ratings: bod: i really dont knowv vwhere the #pyrump thing started, but it holds true. like yeah, vwe hawve the occasional toothpick, but otherwvise its fat asses as far as the eye can see, and i can see pretty damn far. from there its usually either pear shaped, or ovwerall short and chubby. slimthicc is uncommon here, but not unheard of. 9/10 wvariety: you can play all sorts of games wvith terezis. sure theres the musk stuff, the pheromones game, but theres regular dominance, picking at her relationship vwith her friends, taking adwvantage of her blindness, dress-up, you can do all sorts wvith this kinky broad. 10/10 ease: she wvants it but also vwants you to wvork for it. push hard enough and shell crumble, but you do gotta push. 7.5/10 personality: this is gonna be controwversial i think, but i lovwe her. shes obnoxious as hell and has an annoying vwoice, but it just makes her that much more fun to shut up. shes also the highest you can get and still feasibly say you havwe a highblood fetish, so thats fun to vwork vwith. she might make fun of you the vwhole time, but terezis are entertaining as hell 10/10 ovwerall: 9/10. vwhat a wvoman. loads of approaches, loads of awvenues, loads of potential. she cant evwen wvhine because shes a seer, she knovws vwhats coming wvhen i roll up. if any terezis wvanna hear some more in depth stuff, hit up my dms, yeah?~
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 8: kanaya maryam #cheating #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing about this part of the guide. rosie is a lesbian a lot of the time, right? and shes dating kanny a lot of the time. but the thing is, she aint alwvays. youll find plenty of the blondies vwho are just doing their ovwn thing, yknovw? but kanayas, like... nine times outta ten, theres a rose in the picture. i think theyre a cute couple and all, id lovwe to vwatch, but its wveird howv kannys alwvays an accessory to her. but okay. so vwere talking the kanayas that aint gay, okay? so dont cancel me. i mean, some of em are bicurious, or like, play up their attractions to make the vwhole thing more taboo, and thats gonna be the end of that conwversation. hovw do you pick up this fine gal? wvell for starters, feel free to get touchy. kanayas are the most likely, in my experience, to pull the "ignore him and hope he goes awvay" movwe for like. anything. saying horrid stuff, feeling her up, shell be your toy, its adorable. its vwery likely shell bring up rose, dont vworry about it, if she wvas really bothered shed slap you or something. nowv, kanaya is a classy lady, and her issues aint as easy to poke at as the rest of these gals. or at least, they aint as obwvious? newver seen a kanaya vwith lusus issues, least, not the kind that wve can use. mostly shes lonely and a bit insecure in her relationships. vwhat ivwe found wvorks is buttering her up, complimenting her outfits, she puts a lotta vwork in those, maybe asking her to make you something (ask to get your measurements!). make fun of her crumbling relationship vwith rose if you get the vwibe thats a thing. theres nothing wvrong wvith being a rebound, or ewven a sidepiece! all else fails, get her to touch you, especially if you can get a hand betwveen your legs. a lotta them are closet bulge addicts, some of them only learned that vwhen i taught them. absolutely ravwenous. this is less advwice and more a story, but i gotta givwe a shout out to this one rosie i used to hang wvith. you vwant a kanaya? get vwith a freak rose like this. she wvould outright goad me into messing vwith her kanaya, there wvas some long-distance shit going on, i dunno, but like... i dont ewven knowv if they ewver discussed the arrangement, but kannny lovwed it, rosie lowved hearing about it, and i lovwed texting the blondie vwhile kanny wvas taking care of me. nowv for the ratings bod: alwvays busty, alvways curwvy, its a jade thing i guess. got the elegant look going on too. not exactly her body, but one thing i lovwe about kanayas is her fashion sense. get creatiwve wvith her! if youvwe got one squirming under your touch, ask her to go put on something pretty. chances are, if you can imagine it, itll be in her closet. im bad at that kinda thing but its a damn good time. they all got real pretty lingerie on too, nevwer seen one vwithout something nice and frilly. she takes after porrim in all the best wvays. 10/10 vwariety: hmm... shes usually got the cool and collected thing going on, but the specifics of her relationships differ a lot. i guess thats the thing though, dunno if ivwe ewver met one that wvasnt dating a rose, its wveird. though, maybe thats partially my fault. i guess she can be a lil samey, but wvith a bod like that i can forgivwe her. 6/10 ease: kanayas usually take some doing. evwen if youvwe got her in the palm of your hand she might still make a fuss. its cute and all, but it takes effort to get her to properly put out. 5/10 personality: shes like a fine wvine, an acquired taste. mature, wvilling to banter a bit. i like her wvhen shes not boring. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. newver gonna be upset about finding a maryam. it takes a lil bit of doing to figure out if shell go for you, but if she aint a lesbian shell be a total slut. hot, ready, raring to go, only knock against her is it can be a lotta effort for something youwve seen a million times.
;o) HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK.
HEY. give that bitch back. HONK.
:o)
they literally like me
hey girl
@tropophilicCharades hey. OTHER ME. since you seem like you got all this shit figured out so well you don't even gotta say anything. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR MATING LIFE IS A MOTHER FUCKING BRAMBLE NEST. of painful ass thorns. BUT THEY LACED WITH SOME REAL ADDICTIVE SHIT. some shit you can't say no to and don't wanna. BUT IT HURTS. #BleedingPusher
you really be frothing at the mouth for a sister and they be leaving you on read. TAKE IT FROM ME BROTHERS. IT AIN'T WORTH IT.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/458e02777fd9.jpeg @gutsyGumshoe HONK.
my brothers i got mother fucking lipstick in places no bitch should ever have to have any. I'M GONNA TAKE A LONG MOTHER FUCKING SHOWER.
i'm actually not sexist because i believwe in equal opportunity. men are not exempt from being fat pieces of shit, either. just saying. #malefeminist
h0w much d0 y0u want t0 bet she's g0ing t0 fuck him. #dashwatching #specificp0sting #heycr0cker
the seal of approwval https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/18a385f41762.png
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 3: jane crocker #nsfwv #nsfwve #substance #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so jane? lowve her, lovwe the aesthetic, sorta gal i could see vwearing a poodle skirt wvithout evwen being told to. but, outta the human babes, shes the one i hawve the least experience vwith. loads of the other three running around the bubbles, only a handful of these ones. wvevwe also got the big famous one on here, shes a bit of an outlier though. i hawvent gotten wvith her yet, but ill givwe you my read on her all the same. the most common type of jane i see is the ingenue. dresses cute, usually has nice, plush lips, a real shy sort vwho responds vwell to teasing. shell call you things like "buster brovwn" if you slap her ass or compliment her tits, its real cute. despite her vwhining, shes into you, she just doesnt knowv it yet. usually she doesnt evwen knovw that youre too much of a loser for her. like all life players, her bod is practically made for pailing, and it knowvs it. feel her up, get her all embarrassed, and shell be running like a faucet betvween her legs. maybe ewven from her tits too, shes the most likely of the main human babes to do that, if youre into that sorta thing. dress her up cute, hawve your vway wvith her, but dont expect much in the wvay of conwversation. second sort i see is the business babe. this is usually just a cosplay i think, a hottie in a pencil skirt vwho doesnt knowv the first thing about stocks and bonds but likes to pretend she could be a ceo. i usually mirror it back at her, act like im some billinaire playboy, the type of asshole so rich he can afford to dress casually. get this jane stuck on a bus or an elevwator vwith you and go to towvn, shell melt. vwhat shes looking for is someone to see her elevwated position and bring her crashing back dovwn to housevwife. she knowvs shes not good enough but she feels obligated to act this vway because of her upbringing. its your job to remind her wvhat shes really for: being a baby ovwen. novw if youre a troll like me you cant actually get her preggers, but talk about breeding her anyvways and shell go all googoo eyes for her. wvin vwin in my books. ill sometimes see janes vwith the tiaratop wvhatevwer too, or something close. you dont need my advwice here, theres alvways some glitch going on wvith that shit thatll let you take ovwer. just make sure to ovwerride some of those commands she gets, most important obvwiously being the stop reproduction one. another wvariant, dont havwe much experience wvith it myself, the kinda jane that carries around that lollipop like a pacifier. let her get a good lick, and then wvhatewver happens happens. a bit too caucasian for my tastes, but im newver gonna turn dowvn a babe givwing me enthusiastic consent. i should add a note for the famous jane around these parts, the one thats hawving a tête a tête wvith lil makara right novw. hawvent had a chance to get into her pantsuit yet but i havwe a fewv ideas. obwviously shes a sucker for abuse. im not saying get drunk and throwv the bottle at her, im talking classy. none of us are getting to the gamz levwel here. get in her head, mandhandle her a little, dont shovw her the respect she expects. she giwves me the wvibes of a gal vwhos just salivwating at the prospect of pushing out some vwriggling lil freaks, so keep in mind the breeding tips from before. like, ivwe stood close enough to get a vwhiff of her before (not as close as you might think!) and she smells like she vwants you personally to fix the declining birth rates on earth c. i think she must also havwe a fetish for the purple-wviolet spectrum, so do vwith that wvhat you vwill. my take? dont bother, but... hey, wvewve all got our wvhite vwhales, right? some are just vwhiter and wvhalier than others. the rating! bod: up to personal tastes, shes the chubby chasers dream. sometimes youll get a slimthicc one, wvhich is my personal fawve. i newver really see her vwith the crazy jade proportions though. 8/10 wvariety: theres a wvide spectrum of subby to pretends not to be subby, and the corpo play is a nice change of pace. the reprogammable ones are a rare treat. 7/10 ease: depends. ivwe newver had much trouble, especially vwith the dumb dress up doll types, but the corpos make you wvork for it. 7/10 personality: if you get a good one shes the perfect sandra dee. you get an annoying one, shes still fun to break dovwn. 9/10 ovwerall? 8/10. a good jane is a rare delicacy. treat that muffin top vwell enough, she might evwen go naked apron after youre done wvith her and make you some muffins. and honestly? her baking might be better than the sex, and i dont say that lightly.
-- terminallyCapricious' [TC] palmhusk has melted! --
hot hot hot hothtojtotjtotitptjrotjrotjtptjtojo. HOT.
[ A photo is attached. A selfie. Gamzee is reclining in a luxurious, gold-clawed tub, made of the finest marble. His smile is still on his face, much more placid now. His eyes, though bulging and one completely covered in purple, are calm. His hair is wet and weighed down, dripping a vaguely purple water as he looks into the camera. His torso is naked, glossy with water and stains of dried blood, bite marks and bruises. Behind him is a very blurry, metallic object swinging down for his skull. ] #gore #nsfw #nsfwe #violence
DON'T YOU WORRY. YOUR FAMILIARITY WITH THE INTERIOR OF KITCHEN APPLIANCES IS ABOUT TO SPREAD BEFORE YOU LIKE A VAST NEW TERRITORY. YOU ARE NOT GOING IN THE FRIDGE. I WILL MAKE YOU BEG ME FOR THE COOL REPRIEVE OF THE CRISPER DRAWER. BUSTER, WE ARE HAVING GAMBURGER HELPER FOR DINNER! YOU'RE GOING HEAD FIRST INTO THAT FUCKING OVEN!!!!! #nsfw #violence #gore
wait the oven.
i hear her coming. I THINK SHE'S DRAGGING THE AXE FROM THE FIRE EMERGENCY KIT. she wants me, brothers. i'm about to get my shit cut in half i can tell. HONK.
@gutsyGumshoe can you come here and mother fucking heal my legs so i can walk out of here. HARD ENOUGH JUST TO GET OUT OF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ABLUTION TUB. please? HONK.
:o) WHAT'S A VISIT WITHOUT A LITTLE PARTING GIFT? some blood. maybe a little drawing.
:oD yeah alright. ON MY WAY TO THE MOTHER FUCKING ABLUTION BLOCK. ima use hers since the guards gotta regroup to get my ass.
yeah i really mother fucking do haha.
and they said unto me, THAT THE SPIT SALTS OF THE HERETICS AND THE FALSE IDOLS, the basalt and sandstone pillars that the mighty false crown rests on, WILL COME CRASHING DOWN. that the sea will dry up in the wake of our mirth, WE'LL DRINK IT DRY AND FEAST ON THEIR FINS, that the flames of the green sun will mother fucking overtake the dark sky in a final drop of the curtain. THE TRUE HEIRS WILL RISE UP AND THE FALSE CROWN WILL BE CRUSHED. the children of the messiahs will rule. IT IS SAID THAT ONE OF THESE CHILDREN WILL RISE TO REAR THE DOUBLE TWINS OF THE ANGELS OF DOUBLE DEATH. and take the snakes sleepin at the pit of the lion in the deep dark of the world. AMEN.
:o)
#GetClownedOn honk honk honk. I FEEL BETTER NOW.
[ Attached is another picture. Gamzee is looking up, holding his phone from on high. The screen is cracked, which makes half of this image absolutely atrocious. Bright colors, fucked up resolution. His eyes are beyond bloodshot, sunset red with bulging purple veins. Enough blood has leaked from his nose and mouth that he's caked in it, all of his masculine features glossy with blood and warm, steaming kill-breath. Several of his fangs are broken, chipped horrendously. His hair is matted with blood, greasy face paint and viscera. Gamzee is smiling- a dumb, hollow smile with half lidded, red eyes. He's staring directly up at the camera. Behind him is a familiar body, dressed in a red blazer. It's laid out on the floor, in the process of standing back up as a large, bright teal glow comes from the neck- which is cut off by the distortion of the broken camera. Behind Gamzes are giant letters, written all across the luxurious wall in red. " #GetClownedOn :o) " ] #nsfw #gore #nsfwe #violence
revive count is up to 40. THESE ARE MOTHER FUCKING ROOKIE NUMBERS. these are the numbers of a mother fucking rank ass amateur juggalyte just taking his first shake steps on his unicycle. IT AIN'T ENOUGH. i can't feel my face but jane gonna have to grow a new one. HONK. #gore #nsfw #nsfwe #violence
hey, vwould appreciate it if vwe didn't lump my vwirulent distate for plumpydumpies vwith vwoman hatred. i lovwe lesbians. definitely my third favworite pailhub category. any #notfat girl lovwers looking for a third? #vwould #yuriday
[ A blurry, pink-tinted photo of a bloody sleeveless hand wrapped so hard around Gamzee's neck that his eyes and tongue bulge out like Bart Simpson. He is missing several teeth, and the end of his clownish nose has been bitten so hard as to hang off by a thread. ] #nsfw #violence #gore
i ain't gonna let anyjdsodozpzdkd KFOSIDHansmsd KSODKF CHOKING CHOKING ME.
scryin some concerning things on my crystal ball right noww #Yeesh #NotTouchinThatOne
[ Attached is a video. Gamzee's phone is laying across the floor, propped up against.... something. That something is shaking and coughing, a wet cough. Red blood splatters the incredibly wealthy marble tile just in the corner of the frame. "Please.... send help!" The voice rasps out. In the midground, Gamzee's hands wrap around a pale neck. He throttles her, slamming a skull down on tile well beyond its cracking. Each thud is accompanied by the bright, teal mist of divine resurrection and each time it's silenced again by another sickening crunch. He looks aside at the voice, right at the camera. Viscera and blood line the walls of gilded paintings, modern furniture and expensive, sleek marble. Armored legs and gloved hands lay strewn about, a club embedded deep enough in someone's chest that they fell clinging to the handle. Two peering, orange, sunset eyes lock on the camera and the speaking guard. Heavy, steaming breaths come out of his fanged maw. Then- a powerful fist CRACKS across his face, a red blazer sleeve visible in the flash. Gamzee is thrown onto his ass as the figure he was straddling scrambles up and away. Gamzee yells something about tusks as he leaps after. There's a thick, wet squelch and a sickening sound off camera, hidden by the corner of a wall. Not before a long, ribbed piece of muscle is spit back out into view, onto the floor. A red sleeved arm slams down, dragged back into the hall as nails burn scraping into tile. Red blood stains in drag marks along the floor. Another bright, distant flash of teal and the sound of more punches being thrown. The man holding the phone drops it, the video ending abruptly. ] #nsfw #nsfwe #gore #violence #ThisOne'sReallyGoreyThisIsYourWarning
bAlL aIn'T iN mY cOuRt To Be ShOoTiNg MoThEr FuCkInG tHrEe PoInTeRs AnD gOiNg "TrUe!" WhEn It CoMeS tO mAtTeRs Of EmOtIoNaL iNsTaBiLiTy AnD sHiT. mIgHtA dId ThE sAmE sHiT lIl' BrO dOiNg RiGhT nOw, HaD i BeEn In ThE sTaTe He In RiGhT nOw To Be AcTiNg A fOoL. iT's IgHt, ThOuGh. ShE pRoBaBlY cOoL wIt' It. I tHiNk. :o) I'mA jUsT dO mY oWn ThAnG. mOtHeR fUcKeR lIkE mE jUsT tRyNa GeT uP tO a LiL' sUmN-sUmN, yA hEarD? ;o)
simmer dowvn, ladies. don't be so harsh on yourselvwes. just drop the quarter pounder an join a fitnessblock. i'm also a personal trainer zz;) i'll get ya in the pink.
more more more more more more. IT AIN'T ENOUGH I ONLY RIPPED AN ARM OFF. #nsfw #gore #violence
alright, i don't see anyone else talking about it, so i'm gonna take one for the team, cuz i'm such a helpless sap. the mob's gonna pillory me for this one, but they did that to troll davwid bowvie during his thin vwhite duke era too. and guess vwhat? man's still a LEGEND. yeah, i bet some of you bastards regret making such bulgenoses out of yourselvwes nowv that the guy's dead. RIP ziggy. so fat chicks. vwe gotta stop pretending they're hot, okay? ivw'e had enough of the performativwe charades. i'm tired of playing. nobody actually vwants to fuck flabby, buckets of lard vwith tits attached. there. i said it. since time immemorial men havwe nevwer found fat chicks fit. the ones vwho do are desperate. vwanna knowv vwhy cats choose to pork landvwhales? it's cuz they're easy. all you gotta do is make her feel sexy, and ugly betty vwill be vwrapped around your little finger. doesn't matter if you're lying to her fatty mcfat fat face. these girls notoriously havwe no self-esteem. nowv nook is nook. once you're inside it doesn't really matter vwhat size pants the broad vwears. you just shut your eyes and imagine prime pamela anderson. that's vwhat i do, anyvway. evwen vwhen i'm polishing the pearl, i'm still thinking about pammy vwhile i piston my spit-plastered fist vwithout abandon. vwham bam thank you ma'am. it might feel good in the moment but you gotta consider the optics. you don't vwant to be knowvn as a chubby chaser. gross. and nowv you'vwe got desperate fat sluts piling onto you, crushing you under their prodigious amounts of belly fat, begging for attention and combos. no, thank you. hard pass. that ain't the life for me. i like my girlies coke skinny. #nsfwv #nsfwve #substance
i can see it now. I CAN SEE ALL THE DRONES WALKING AROUND. i can see them in their armor they think they are so mother fucking safe. THEY THINK THEIR GUNS ARE GONNA STOP ME. they think just cause she comes back to life that's gonna stop me. I'M GONNA KILL HER TWENTY TIMES IN ONE MOTHER FUCKING HOUR. it ain't gonna be just but it's gonna be what she got coming. AND NEXT I'M COMING FOR THAT SWEATY FUCKING FISH. and i'ma eat my other self like he's a mother fucking sopor pie. AIN'T NOTHING ABOUT IT. i'm tired of typing. I'MA GET OUT OF THESE BUSHES.
I'M GONNA MOTHER FUCKING KILL HER. THEM CROCKER SUITS BETTER OUT ON SOME FUCKING ARMOR BECAUSE I AIN'T STOPPING UNTIL I GOT HER HEAD ON MY WALL.
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK
D --> New decree. You will all refer to me as Equius-Senpai starting now
...y'know, terezi. i think i've always felt this way.
you'll just have to get me back! ;P
oh come on that was funny and you know it! and it was red! that's your favorite!
what, not gonna come and get me? when did you get boring, tz?
can't be any grosser than you <3< seriously though do you know a single other egbert putting in this much effort to hate you?
terezi i am literally learning the quadrants specifically so that i can be pitch with you,
and how do you propose you'd do that, terezi?
heheheh. see, they can't mess with you like i can.
i'm sNiFfInG ThE MoThEr fUcKiNg aIr rIgHt nOw. StIlL HoNkInG. i'm mOtHeR FuCkInG ReAdY To gEt pOuNcEd oN.
hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk.
hOoOoOoNk. HeAr tHaT? tHaT'S Me hOnKiNg tHeSe dAmN HoRnS AnD HaViNg sO MuCh fUn. HeHe.
gOtTa tAkE It fRoM Me. ThEsE HoRnS MaY Be cHeAp bUt tHeY AiN'T FrEe!
:o)
That's not what you said last night, mate
promises, promises. ;D
i am winking at you as hard as i can! ;*
you say that like i wasn't hoping we would!
maybe i am!
i'm actually terrible at not blending quads, just want you to know.
good! i want to be pushing the right buttons!!! >;)
(i want you to know, if that's too much, i'll take it off. just tell me ok?)
too late!
this looks really nice on my chittr!
oNe oF ThE MoThEr fUcKiNg cRoCkEr cOrP PaPaRaZzI WoRmS ToOk a pIcTuRe oF Us wHeN I WaS WaLkInG OuT ThRoUgH ThE FrOnT DoOr. GuEsS ThIs iS WhY I AlWaYs tAkE ThE BaCk. BuT HeY ThIs pIcTuRe aIn't sO BaD. i tHiNk a mOtHeR FuCkEr lOoKs pReTtY GoOd hErE. hTtPs://cDn.iMgChEsT.CoM/FiLeS/69F8Ac9f8f00.pNg
oN My wAy tO ThE MoThEr fUcKiNg mAnSiOn aGaIn. NeEd tO StOp fOr fUeL As tHe gAs sTaTiOn. 4 HoT DoGs, 2 DoUgHnUtS, 6 bAgS Of cAnDy, 2 BaGs oF ChIpS, 1 cAn oF ReD BuLlS 2 BeAt bOxEs, 1 ReD FoUr mOtHeR FuCkInG LoKo, A PaCk oF WoOdS AnD A MoThEr fUcKiNg fIvE HoUr eNeRgY.
thank you so much!!!!!!
heheh.
:o) As you can all see I have been graciously bestowed favor :o) By my wonderful Lord, Caliborn-sama :o) These are the boons you can hope and scrabble to achieve :o) If you dedicate yourself to the craft of being a bad as fuck dude with a badass back hand who says #swagever to the bullshit noise and is cold as hell and MOTHERFUCKING PIOUS.
can you back that up with proof?
fUnKiN Up tHe tImElInE!!
hTtPs://cDn.iMgChEsT.CoM/FiLeS/BfBa1970A3A4.jPg
oh wait i already have that at the maid cafe.
i KNOW you are trying to embarrass me, terezi. it's not going to work!
i am well aware i am telling on my self here. i also don't care. :p
#egbertproblems
My Kull is so close to 20000 I can almost taste it.
later, yes! i'll be waiting! >:*
// please keep hating my chitts, i want mandies kult/kull ratio to be ABYSMAL
i am also a maid here! i’m filling in for terezi right now.
:P!!!!
uh huh. none that i'll post publicly.
as if you aren't mine!!!
probably should find something to curl around and rest against. also drink water! you're gonna have a bad panache if you don't.
:)
i dare you to.
you're both!!
it's ok terezi, it's cute.
hehehe.
hTtPs://cDn.iMgChEsT.CoM/FiLeS/F051Db3fBfD1.jPeG
yOu iN HeR Dm's tElLiNg hEr sHe's gOt bIg aSs bUsInEsS AcUmEn aNd mOtHeR FuCkInG KiLlEr pR. i'm oUtSiDe hEr mOtHeR FuCkInG WiNdOw sNeAkY NiNjA StYlE AbOuT To cHoW DoWn oN SoMe pOuNd cAkE. wE ArE NoT ThE SaMe. #vAgUePoSt #NsFw
tHiNk i oUgHtA BrEaK ThIs wInDoW WiTh a rO nEvErMiNd sHe oPeNeD Up. We sO In bRoThErS. hOnK.
oH ShIiIiIt i hAd nO IdEa iF YoU DiD Or nOt. SeEmS ThEsE OtHeR TeReZi's aRe lIkE A FuCkInG CoIn tOsS AlL DrAmAtIc sTyLe lIkE A SuPeRhErO MoViE HoLdInG My gOdDaMn bReAtH AnD AlL If tHeY EvEr tAsTeD A VeRsIoN Of mE. bUt hEy, I'M A LeT YoU KnOw i tAsTeD A VeRsIoN Of yOu tOo. AnD ThAt sHiT WaS SwEeT As hElL. tRyInG RiDe tHe uNiCyClE? #SuGgEsTiVe
here's mine! #scentposting. also maybe #rankbait? btw please pretend rose milk here is instead strawberry milk. i thought they were the same thing but i was wrong haha. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/29e7957ec7cd.png
i will!!!
she should! i let her have mine so it's ok but i wouldn't mind a proper trade.
didnt expect my #mutiepostin to send the wwoke masses into such a rumpus at this point i am favvorably adoptin the chaser label as a testament to my disregard for all muckdrinkin gutterdwwellers objectification too is praxis
then get to biting, blind girl :B #suggestive #nsfw?
oh, like you didn't miss the taste of my skin? <3< #suggestive
i had a lot of time to myself inside the point and i'm tired of pretending i don't like it. <3<
then let's get good and bloody <3< #suggestive
maybe i do. but i warn you, if you bite me things are gonna get messy. <3<
sure, why not. wouldn't be the first time i let you put your weird mouth on me <3<
heheh.
huh. good to know. marking that down.
i brushed them this morning! not my fault you don't like the taste of mint. <3<
idk, probably because i licked it first lol
heheheh! you just licked my empty tamale plate :B
little to your left.
gross. you're gross.
ugh ew don't word it like that <3<
yep! i've got all kinds of new tricks up my sleeves!
what grassy smell? :B
challenge accepted :B watch yourself, terezi, because the prankmistress is clocking in.
hey!!!
guess i've played that particular prank a few too many times.
i'd like to see you try! :B
you would <3<
axe body spray? no wonder you reek! me, i smell like a cool breeze!
can't be stinkier than you! :B
yeah. can't have my kismesis being homeless. <3<
yeah i know. i retconned the thing to repair it. it's not broken now.
also yeah guess since i just did it i might as well mention i can now retcon objects into prior versions of themselves
have you considered that i can just...
...there. see? good as new.
alright, alright. want some help cleaning up? :B
heheh! do you feel that shiver down your spine? :B
hey, i have a whole bunch of new tricks to show off, y'know!
on my way. i'll do the windy thing.
Terezi the last time we let you touch cleaning supplies, shit set on fire. How do you even *DO* that????????
lusty blind lizardbrained tealblooded maid thats a good book idea
honestly just whatever. surprise me. but not too much hot sauce or i'll put milk in your coffee tomorrow.
terezi if you buy me a tamale i will play the defendant in one of your stupid court cases.
terezi we both know we both have like infinite money. just buy me a damn tamale
get me one!
you know you love my putrid stench <3<
sounds like a skill issue :B