@collaborationKing — #collab
THANKS FOR THE GARDENING #COLLAB, @thrivingGarland! HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY TO YOU! IT REALLY WAS AWESOME GROWING THAT GARDEN! [∴]
SEND ME #COLLAB OFFERS. OR QUESTIONS ABOUT ME AND MY BUSINESS! https://forms.gle/k5yTjAP9tEzuHfUV8 [⠌]
I NEED TO POST MORE ABOUT MY DAY-TO-DAY LIFE HERE, OF COURSE THE #COLLAB MARKETING IS BIG, BUT COVERING MY OWN STORIES FROM THE HEART WILL GARNER MORE TRACTION. AHEM. I WAS AT THE LOCAL BILEBLIOTHECARY CHECKING OUT SOME BOOKS ON FUNFAIR HISTORY, FESTIVAL STUFF, YOU KNOW. AND THIS COBALT-BLOOD CRETIN LOOKS OVER HIS MAGAZINE AT ME, DOES A DOUBLE TAKE, AND THEN *RECOILS*. PHYSICALLY. AND HE MAKES THIS ANNOYING NOISE OF DISGUST. HE DOESN'T TAKE HIS EYES OFF ME EITHER. SO I ASK HIM, HEY MAN, WHAT GIVES? AND HE CALLS ME SOMETHING, I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS, BUT IT WAS SAID WITH THIS REAL SOUR TONE. I W...Read more
QUIT BEING A LOSER WITH THE SNOOZERS AND COME #COLLAB WITH THE LADS. [⁙]
QUIT BEING A TOOL WITH THE FOOLS AND COME #COLLAB WITH THE LADS. [⠶]
THE COLLABORATOR SITS IN THE CONFINES OF A SMALL BUMPER CAR. IT SHOULD FIT TWO, BUT HIS STATURE LEAVES NO ROOM FOR ANOTHER. HE THINKS ABOUT DOING ANOTHER #COLLAB. MAYBE, MAYBE. BUT FOR HIM, TO #COLLAB IS TO BE. AND TO BE AT A MASQUERADE, HE WOULD HAVE TO GIVE UP THIS PART OF HIMSELF. STIFLE IT. SUPPRESS IT. AND FOR WHAT? WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT? HE'S NEVER BEEN A HIDER. SOLITUDE IS NOT HIS CALLING. HIS CALLING IS TO #COLLAB. HE STEPS ON THE PEDAL AND DRIVES AROUND. THERE IS NOBODY TO BUMP INTO. #NOTTHESCRIPT. [∙]
THE POSTING WILL CONTINUE UNTIL #COLLAB FREQUENCY IMPROVES. [∴]
WHEN WILL IT BE #COLLAB SEASON? I CAN'T #COLLAB WITH NOT-SAFE-FOR-WORK PARTIES. I THINK THAT WOULD BE PROBLEMATIC. DO I GO INTO HIBERNATION NOW? [⁙]
THE DICE GAME IS SIMPLE! YOU ROLL THE DICE AND SEE WHAT YOU GET. 1 - CRIT FAIL. YOU DIE! 2 - WEAKEST SUCCESS. NOTHING HAPPENS. BUT THANKS FOR PLAYING! 3 - STRONG NUMBER! SUCCESS AWAITS. 4 - UNLUCKY! YOU WILL HAVE A GRAVE FATE. 5 - '⁙' MARKS THE SPOT! YOU GET MONEY! 6 - YOU GET TWO BONUS ROLLS! (BETWEEN NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE ROLLS, THE HIGHEST NUMBER TRUMPS THE SMALLER ONE.) PLAY MY GAME. LET'S #COLLAB. ETC., ETC. [⁙]
COME ON, GUYS! HAVE SOME FUN! PLAY MY GAME! LIKE TO ROLL THE DICE! PITY TO ROLL THE DICE! RECHITT TO ROLL THE DICE! REPLY TO ROLL THE DICE! ANYTHING! FOLLOW IF YOU WANT TO #COLLAB THOUGH. THAT'S ITS OWN THING. https://file.garden/X5nOw-a95myVyjmt/dice-alt.gif [⠌]
PLAY MY GAME. DO MY #COLLAB. I WORKED HARD ON THAT COOL DICE THING. [⁙]
I KNOW! HOW ABOUT SOMETHING WE CAN ALL #COLLAB ON? A GAME! https://file.garden/X5nOw-a95myVyjmt/dice.gif REPLY TO ROLL THE DICE. WILL YOU BE DOOMED OR DELIGHTED? FIND OUT! IF YOU'VE GOT GUTS, PICK YOUR OWN LUCKY NUMBER. HIGH RISK, HIGH REWARD. [∴]
THE LACK OF #COLLABS I'M SEEING IS DISAPPOINTING. I WILL FIND YOU. AND I WILL #COLLAB WITH YOU. [∴]
DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMAN CAME UP TO ME TODAY AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO BUY ANY CHOCOLATE. I'LL BE HONEST, I WAS REAL TEMPTED TO MAKE HIM INTO A DECAL ON THE PAVEMENT TILE, BUT THEN I THOUGHT: "THESE GUYS ARE PRIME #COLLAB MATERIAL." SO I BOUGHT SOME, ASKED HIM TO GIVE ME CORPORATE'S NUMBER. THEY WERE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. COULD STOCK THEM UP AT MY FUNFAIR. MORAL OF THE STORY? IF YOU HESITATE BEFORE ANNIHILATING PEOPLE WHO BOTHER YOU, DOORS CAN OPEN TO REALLY GOOD THINGS. [⠌]
I COULD REALLY GO FOR A KEBAB RIGHT NOW. RHYMES WITH #COLLAB. [⠌]
MAYBE I TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT CRUMPLING PEOPLE UP INTO CUBES OVER #COLLAB MATTERS. I DON'T ALWAYS DO THAT. YESTERDAY THIS SON OF A BITCH CUT ME IN LINE SO I WENT OUTSIDE AND FLUNG A BLOCK OF CEMENT AT HIS CAR AT ABOUT TWO THOUSAND MILES AN HOUR. FELT WAY BETTER AFTER THAT. [⠶]
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME THEME-PARKS AND SUCH REQUIRE YOU PAY MONEY TO USE THE RESTROOMS. WHAT THE FUCK? NO. I DON'T EVEN NEED A #COLLAB FOR THIS, I'M GONNA GO FIND WHOEVER MADE THIS STANDARD AND CRUMPLE THEM INTO A CUBE. [⠿]
MY TOP TIPS FOR #COLLABS. • 1. DON'T #COLLAB WITH SOMEONE PROBLEMATIC. DO SOME BACKGROUND CHECKS. IF THEY'RE PROBLEMATIC YOUR OTHER #COLLABS MIGHT GET CANCELLED. AND SO MIGHT YOU. • 2. MAKE IT WORTHWHILE. BE INTERESTING. IF YOUR #COLLAB IS KIND OF BORING. YOU'RE NOT GONNA ATTRACT MUCH ACTIVITY, CONSUMER-WISE NOR OTHER-#COLLAB-WISE. • 3. GET SOME CONNECTIONS. KNOW PEOPLE. IF YOU #COLLAB WITH PEOPLE WHO DO THEIR OWN #COLLABS TOO, YOU CAN GET SOME GOOD NETWORKING FROM THAT. MEET SOME BIG NAMES. I'LL SEE YOU ALL AT THE FUNFAIR! HAHA! ADMISSION HALF-PRICE NEXT SATURDAY. [⠶]
YOU CAN'T STOP THE #COLLAB TRAIN. [∴]
THE PAIN (INVESTMENT OF EFFORT) IS TEMPORARY. BUT THE OTHER THING (A SUCCESSFUL #COLLAB, THE RESULT OF INVESTING SOME EFFORT) IS FOREVER. [⁙]
PSA: CUTTING BACK ON ANTI-#COLLAB LANGUAGE. INSTEAD OF "What's with your hideous and unnaturally vibrant red skin?", TRY "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR #COLLABS?". AND INSTEAD OF "stump-horned freakshow", TRY "GUY I WANT TO #COLLAB WITH". REALLY HELPS MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. [∴]
THE URGE TO #COLLAB. IS RISING. [⁙]
#COLLAB WITH ME. YES, YOU. READING THIS. [∙]
WHEN I'M DONE WITH THESE CHALLENGERS, #FIGHTNIGHT WILL BE CALLED #COLLAB NIGHT. [⠌]
COME ON OUT, BOYS! IT'S TIME FOR A #COLLAB! [∙]
STOP SAYING "No! Get away from me! I don't know you! How did you get in my house?" WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN "YES! LET'S #COLLAB". I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT. I HATE IT SO MUCH I HAVE TO CRUSH THEM INTO A LITTLE CUBE UNTIL THEY DIE. [∴]