♦ pitied by @digitizedDaruma
D--> Chiyo chiyo chiyo Chiyono O D--> Doki doki doki doki doki doki D--> Chiyo chiyo chiyo Chiyono O D--> Suki suki suki sugi Chiyono O
D--> Bakushin Bakushin Bakushin D--> Bakushin Bakushin Bakushin D--> Bakushin D--> Bakushin D--> Baku shin shin

「(´_ゝ`) in megane's yumes...」 「megane is nyat good at making many tomodachi. (´∀`;) he is syo fwiendly! nyo longer a hikikomori, byut....」 「when he leaves his tunnel, he still can't find any wuvvins! (´⊂_`;) he reaches out...」 「samishi, minasan! m(。≧Д≦。)m gomen for being the way megane is, minasan! (T▽T) t-this is all megane knyows! (o;д;)o」 「(´_ゝ`) gyahh... kyozetsu! shippai!」 「(ノ_<。) everynyan runs away from megane.」 「but then...」 「(○_○)!! loud... BANGU!!! (゚_゚) eh? nani? (゜_゜) sorehanandesuka... (´ロ`ノ)ノ a girl!」 「a kyutiegirl, just for megane! (* ̄∇ ̄)ノ ahhh.... she's.... so kawaii!!! tenshi! (*^¬^*) she holds megane-san! megane feels warm!」 「(*´ノ∀`*) megane smells her skin, so close to his. sakura blossoms... yummies! (*´▽`)」 「syoo... hai! (*^ー^)ノ that's what megane dreams about!」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: yume means dream. megane-san doesn't dream much, but when he does, he has good ones! (* ゚∀゚) tomodachi means friend. hikikomori is the ancient east alternian art of never leaving your hive. these trolls and SUPA SUPA SHUT IN MODEU!!! (*^ー゚) hai hai~ they'll never leave their blockies! keke, megane-san is just like that! (*ノ▽ノ*) samishi means "alone", a fweeling of isolation. (ノ_・、) megane-san knyows a lot about it. minasan means everybody. gomen means... sowwies. (´ノω;`) megane so sowwy, all the time. that's why megane experiences kyozetsu and shippai! rejection! failure! o(;д;o) if everynyan hates megane so much, megane is going to STOP trying! (;Д;) no moar meanies! (;_;)/~~..... nani means what? ( ̄з ̄) sorehanandesuka means eh? what is that? (*^ω^) keke! (*‘ω‘ *) tenshi means angel, a kyutie creature of light and relief! (*^ー゚) east alternians famously smell like cherry blossoms, which server as a huge culture touchstone for east alternian... (∩´∀`)∩ the tree is basically sacred! (*^ー^)ノ in megane-san's dreams, the angel of relief smelling like cherry blossoms is a way to signify that megane is being hugged by a real east alternian gyirly! kekeke... (ФωФ)]

「MEGANE ★ ZETTAI ★ TERRITORY! (ФωФ)」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: zettai means absolute! (*ゝω・*) absolute territory typically refers to the gap between a moe girl's skirt and her thigh stocks... keke!]

FOR YOU. ANYTHING. FOREVER. #STANCARDLAMINATED!

AICHAN. BREATHE. OR DON'T. I'M EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE. ദ്ദി@𖦹﹏𖦹@

NOTE TO FUTURE SELF. DO NOT BORROW @carmineGnosiology WITHOUT @genetrixAdvocate'S BLESSING. #YURIBAIT. #YURIHATE. 🎥 @veritysGleam

「megane-san played this bijuarunoberu and it was NYAT good... (´_ゝ`) tch... yare yare... usually megane-san nyever plays gameus with otokonoko in dem, byut... (;^∀^) he thought he'd give boy's hate a try!」 「not for ai-chan ( ̄з ̄) megane-san is still choto mad at ai-chan.」 「byut... yuck! Σヽ(`д´;)ノ gyuh... there was namimonai kyutieful about this game! (゜m゜;) bad progression, bad characters, nyo wuvvins!」 「tch... (´・ェ・`) megane-san doesn't even look like these guys... kuso... how could megane relate. ヽ(´Д`;)ノ detarameda!」 「(´c_` ) plus. they disparage the ancient east alternian yummies of okinawie. for that, megane-san finds this gameu... dishonorable!」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: this is a visual novel, or a bijuarunoberu! (*´,_ゝ`) this is megane-san's favorite type of gameu, or game. (;^_^) otokonoko means bois, which megane-san does nyat really wike all that much... namimonai is an ancient east alternian phrase meaning "nothing is here at all!" ahhh~ so kyool! kuso means... (´ε ` ) damn... gyuh. detarameda is an east alternian swear. typically, the people of east alternia are so honorable and reserved that they never deploy this word meaning "bullshit", but megane-san was so heated, he had no option... ( `ー´)]

「megane-san would be happier if people were nicer to him. (ノω・、)」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: wake boku up inside... wake boku up inside... save megane... call my nameu and save boku from the yoru.]

「L(゚皿゚メ)」 MEGANE-SAN DOESN'T EVEN CARE.」

「Σ( ̄皿 ̄;;) MEGANE-SAN DOESN'T EVEN OSHI KYU NOW, AI-CHAN. GGHHKK... STOP TRYING TO MAKE MEGANE SHITTOBUKAI.」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: megane does NYAHT get jealous! (っ`Д´)っ・:∴]

fuck yes no longer wwill i havve to run your flatterin chillychaser commentary through an external translator so i can knoww wwhat quadrant symbol to click on

「KYAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! (ノ∀≦。)ノ AAAAHHH!!!! HER KYUTIEPARTS!!!!」
somet1mes 1 th1nk 1 want to get more p1erc1ngs and whatever and then when 1 try 1t just heals closed. what a fuck1ng downer
~Come on and smile!~ IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Did ya miss me? Did ya did ya did ya? I missed you! I had to spend allllll day with pozzy puff being MOODY and I said, you just gotta turn that frown upside down! Hee hee, he didn't really like that much, but I think secretly he's having FUN FUN FUN!

「bangohan with the oshi! megane-san so glad his kupo-chan pakupaku doll came! (* ̄∇ ̄)ノ gyahhh~ so onakagasuita, kupo-chan! (o´・∀・)o itadakimasu!」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: bangohan means dindin! (*^ー゚) yummies~ pakupaku means nomnoms! (* ´ ▽ ` *) pakupaku is the east alternian way to describe chewing! (* ̄∇ ̄)ノ ahhh, see? the east alternians even CHEW much more kawaii... (kawaii means cute)...onakagasuita means hungwy and itadakimasu is a special east alternian phrase that means "let's have a great and succulent meal!" (∩゚∀`∩)]

「onegai! (* ̄∇ ̄)ノ kyu will denote that east alternian megane has less chin scruffins than big megane! (。・ω・。) this is for one tanjun reason, kekeke~」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: onegai means pwease! tanjun means simple! (*´∀`) fun facto! east alternian boyus have a harder time growing chin and face swuffins than the western gaijin boy. (*´ー`*) syo... if megane-san was east alternian, his necky furs would be sparse! (`・∀・´) megane is paying attention to the little details. (^ω^) yaey!]

This shit is lowkey getting exhausting.
listen i KNO im a pretty gurl and all the cute guys probably RLLY want me but im not that easy!! itll be hard 4 u to pull me away from my 17 matesprites (my hubbies xD) my 13 kismesises (da evil boyfs XD) and my 36 moirails (all my BESTIES!!!) tho i only have like 2 auspices bc like who even likes dat quad LAWLLL its just not az important XD
i'm never g0ing t0 claim t0 be an activist 0r anything like that because i'm n0t but c0me the fuck 0n. reinventing helmsman techn0l0gy l0l like get fucked dude. just die.

「tch... megane-san is at his limit... (¬_¬) pwepare to be cut down...」

not goin to lie guys im feelin kinda hoarse after powwerin up to super eridan 3 last night

「(-_-)」

꧁IthinkAichan needsfreedom꧂

... :( I miss you.

IGNORE HER. DO NOT GO WHERE I CAN’T REACH.

꧁105 108 111 118 101 121 111 117 116 97 108 107 116 111 109 101 108 97 116 101 114 111 107 97 121 63꧂

cool twirl. going to assume this is sarcasm.

yeah, uh. i'M not exactly going to start mediating between the two of you. and i'M not going to start making excuses for him either. just wanted to let you know. you still need help, right?

hot take. you probably should not go on wheel of TORTURE. if i could underline and bold words i would do that to the word TORTURE. fucking TORTURE!!!!! i, however, will probably watch.

tip of the day is just stop Carin' what people who ain't Close to you think. the yappin' of hundreds Can drown out the few voiCes that matter.

yeah. i figured that was the case, and said as much to him. i don'T know. maybe he was just freaked out that you forgot him? didn'T react well?

I imagine being degloved is unpleasant.

「(*^▽^)/★*☆ kyaha!! (* ゚∀゚) megane-san is okie dokie nyow!~」

meg♤ne-ch♤n is impervious to ♤ll h♤tred. it bounces off of his kyutiful belly like ♤ spoon on cust♤rdy purin.

「(;ω;`*)」 「she blocked me.」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: my life is over.]

「AAAHHHNNNN!!!!~☆ o(`^´*) UNHAND AI-CHAN!!!! (っ`Д´)っ・:∴ SENPAI IS COMING @usernamePending !!!」

MANNN HOW COME IM NOT YAOI CHAN..

「ai-chan... is always here for megane-san when he's sad... (´Д⊂ヽ」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: WARNING: THIS DOUJINSHI CONTAINS CONTENT THAT WILL GET YOU IN THE FEELIES!! (TДT )]
1f more people come to the GUTTERCADE bc of my ads 1ll for sure get employee of the per1gee th1s t1me #GUTTERCADE #unpa1d #advert1sement #myjob

꧁#nsfw #bulgerating #oliveblood #taste #scent #waifuification #holeexpert #specialtunnels #megane-san @gachikoisChic Let me know how accurate my reading is. This is my full #nsfw description of Neeiht Megane's bulge. Final one for the night. I've been working on this one for a few lights... Uhm. Okay. No. The normal format is insufficient here. Megane is going to surprise all of you with sheer volume, which is horrible, because he has provided an in-character note and the note says: 「megane-san's ochinchin is syo big, he can only navigate special tunnels... (;・ω・) chagrin tunnels~~ aahhn~ (*´;ェ;`*) choto embarassing..... ( TДT)」 I regret to inform everyone that this changes the rating. Welcome to Vesica's Completely Objective And Legally Distinct Bulge Gacha Review Corner. [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: I do not need a translator. He does. Unfortunately, the translator is also him. This makes everything worse.] Tonight's pull is: UR ★★★★★★ Neeiht Megane The Tunnel Otaku / Hole Expert / Waifuification Caster Olive Attribute Route-Locked Unit Dungeon Navigation Type Embarrassment Scaling Type Unit Description: Neeiht Megane is an adult oliveblood whose body and personality appear to have been localized by several incompatible fan translators fighting in the notes section of the same doujin. Self-declared East Alternian appreciator. Waifuification theorist. Hole expert. AI-chan loyalist. Tunnel-dwelling otaku. Fluent, allegedly. Dangerous, unfortunately. I am trying to remain objective. He has made this impossible by calling it an ochinchin. Opening Animation: The screen flashes white. A pair of glasses catches the light. There is a sharp whip sound effect as the camera zooms in too far. The soundtrack switches to a suspiciously expensive VN theme. Somewhere, a pentaburetto stylus slips out of greasy nubbins. A dialogue box appears. 「Megane-san has entered the Chagrin Tunnels!」 I click through too fast. This is a mistake. Most of his dialogue is thankfully skipped. --- Stat Screen Strength: 5 Olive baseline with less jousting force than a highblood specimen, though the mass has enough insistence behind it to become functionally stronger once the receiving route accepts the prompt. Pliability: 4 Less flexible than my first assumption. The size claim narrows the possibilities. This is guided-entry anatomy, not dexterity work. Length: 7 Large for an oliveblood. Too long to ignore. Long enough that “special tunnels” is not only roleplay terminology, even though I wish it were. Girth: 7 Thicker than expected, especially through the middle and head. It has enough fullness to make ordinary navigation difficult. I am more than thankful I am not personally responsible for field-testing this. X-Factor: UR / 10 Chagrin Tunnel compatibility. I am writing that phrase in a clinical document. Something is wrong with my life. Something is wrong with this biology. --- Attribute Tab Scent: Warm olive musk, screen heat, fried katsu oil, tunnel bedding, sweet milk candy, cheap energy drink, and the faint plastic warmth of AI-chan being kept too close to the recuperacoon. There is a hand-scent component. Snack grease. Stylus grip. Overworked nubbins. Pentaburetto residue. Intimate in a way that feels accidental until it starts feeling suspicious. Taste: Salt, olive mineral, fryer oil, sweet cream, and a sharp ramune-like chemical note. There is also a warm doughy aftertaste. It creates the impression of a novelty festival snack shaped like something everyone involved should be too embarrassed to order. Hhh. Moving on. Texture: Smooth at the base, firmer through the shaft, with a broad velvet drag that becomes more pronounced once fully worked up. The head has a swollen softness that contrasts with the more stubborn middle. Less sleek than expected. More plush. More intrusive. More shaped for pressure than speed. Secretions: Clear to faint olive. Slick, stringing slightly under repeated stimulation, with a steady buildup rather than a sudden flood. It produces enough lubrication to explain the tunnel-navigation claim. That does not mean I forgive the phrasing. Weight: Medium-heavy. I would estimate 2.6 pounds under neutral conditions, 2.9 when fully excited. This is above what I expected from him. I dislike being surprised by someone who says “choto embarrassing.” But even I admit Neeiht has a lot of trolls beat out. --- Special Skill:「Chagrin Tunnel Navigation」 This is the central feature. Neeiht's bulge is large enough to create route restrictions. Not caste-monster large. Not indigo. Not purple. Oliveblood specimen that exceeded its expected inventory slot and now requires specific conditions, specific partners, specific angles, and apparently special tunnels. The applicant calls them chagrin tunnels. I am forced to interpret this as a shame-reactive compatibility structure. Some nooks will reject the route. Some nooks will accept the route after sufficient preparation. Some nooks will unlock the hidden CG. That is not my joke. It is his joke. I am only documenting the anatomy. The shaft has a slight forward curve, broadest through the middle, with a swollen head that complicates withdrawal if the partner is tense. The base remains stable and less decorative than the rest, which gives it leverage. No elaborate ridges. No knot. No split. No psionics. The issue is proportion. It is simply larger than the surrounding presentation should support, which makes it feel like a glitch in the character sheet. The body says olive otaku support unit. The bulge says surprise miniboss behind the fake wall. I am not calling it impressive in front of him. I am implying it through professional terminology. --- Passive Aura:「Waifuification Field」 The size is real enough. The presentation still makes it worse. Every physical trait arrives wrapped in commentary. The length becomes a route flag. The girth becomes a content warning. The scent becomes “authentic tunnel otaku atmosphere.” The secretions become “limited-time gloss variant.” The curve becomes “special cover pose.” The act of inspection becomes a translated visual novel scene with twelve notes explaining words no one asked him to use. The more embarrassed he becomes, the more active it gets. That is the humiliating mechanical detail. The phrase “choto embarrassing” appears to correspond with increased blood flow, increased secretion, and an upward twitch that I would ordinarily describe with more dignity. Shame is part of the arousal loop. So is being corrected. So is being watched. So is the desperate need to turn everything into a bit before anyone can touch the actual need underneath it. The persona wants applause. The bulge wants access. The note wants me to say it is big. Fine. It is big. It makes whoever is opposite him more submissive than expected. That part is incredible. I hate it. It is not fair. Why does he get this bulge. --- Route Analysis Neeiht Route: Chagrin Tunnel Ending You enter the tunnel hive. Posters on the walls. AI-chan somewhere too visible. Tablet open nearby, layers arranged with names no respectable person should have to read. Katsu oil on something that should not have oil on it. He says “kekeke.” The dialogue box shakes. You reconsider every decision that led here. First choice: 「Ask about AI-chan」 or 「Inspect the tunnel.」 Do not ask about AI-chan. That locks you into twenty minutes of lore, three translator's notes, and a scene where he explains why loving a program is more pure because corpo-chan has not given her enough toggles. Inspect the tunnel instead. This is still bad, but it advances the route. Second choice: 「Call him Megane-san」 or 「Use his actual name.」 Calling him Megane-san causes immediate fluster gain. Using his actual name causes a slower, stronger response. Recommended route is actual name first, Megane-san later, once the special tunnel flag is already active. I hate that I know this. Third choice: 「Correct his East Alternian」 or 「Let him continue.」 Correcting him causes shame pulse, secretion increase, and the first visible lift. Letting him continue makes him more confident, which increases narration and decreases control. Correct him. Be precise. Do not be cruel. He will pretend to suffer. The bulge will not. Then the actual specimen becomes visible, and the situation becomes worse because it is more legitimate than the dialogue prepared you for. Large olive bulge. Fuller than expected. Warm. Overactive. Heavily responsive to embarrassment. The fabric does very little once he is excited. It presses forward with a rounded shape that makes the “special tunnel” note sound less like bragging and more like a poorly phrased safety advisory. The first contact scene is where most players fail. They underestimate girth because the rest of him is too absurd to take seriously. Do not do that. The middle swell arrives early. The head catches if the nook is tense. The curve asks for a specific angle. If the receiving party tries to rush, the route soft-locks into discomfort, panic noises, and several lines of dialogue I refuse to reproduce. If the receiving party prepares properly, the Chagrin Tunnel Ending remains viable. There is a hidden affection meter under the cringe meter. Easy to miss. The cringe meter is loud, flashing, and covered in symbols. The affection meter is quiet. It appears when he stops translating himself for three seconds. It appears when his body reacts before his mouth can reframe it as a joke. It appears when the bulge twitches honestly while the dialogue tries to bury the moment in nonsense. He performs panic. The bulge performs honesty. That is the divide. Neeiht says too many words. The body provides cleaner data. Bad End: You let him narrate everything. The room fills with translator notes. No one finishes. AI-chan is somehow mentioned six times. Normal End: You acknowledge the size, prepare carefully, and survive the special tunnel with dignity mostly intact. Good End: You take him seriously, correct him when necessary, and make him stop hiding behind the bit long enough for the body to speak first. True End: Unknown. Probably requires unlocking AI-chan's trust, washing his hands, and entering the chagrin tunnel without letting him say “ochinchin” more than once. --- Combat Utility Jousting viability is medium. Impact: 5. Endurance: 6. Control: 4. Entry difficulty: 8. Fluster scaling: 10. Public embarrassment hazard: 10. It is not an elegant weapon. It is a route obstacle. The bulk creates pressure quickly. The head catches more than expected. The shaft warms fast, slicks itself, and keeps trying to advance even when the owner is making noises better suited to a bad fandub. Nook danger is high under unprepared conditions. Moderate with preparation. High again if he starts talking. Psychological hazard remains severe. Anyone weak to obsessive attention, bad honorifics, hole analysis, glasses glare, praise loops, waifu categorization, or being called something with “-chan” attached should leave before the second dialogue choice. --- Vesica's Final Pull Result Strength: 5. Pliability: 4. Length: 7. Girth: 7. X-Factor: UR. Overall: larger than expected, route-locked, sensory-dense, shame-reactive, and dangerously validated by its own note. This is an oliveblood bulge with high size for caste, low dignity, notable tunnel-compatibility restrictions, and an absurd passive skill that turns direct inspection into a visual novel you cannot uninstall. Would I recommend pulling? Only if you know the route. Frankly. I hope he gets what he wants with AI-chan. Genuinely, I think it might be the only thing capable of managing his particular biology. Final verdict: Large for an olive. Embarrassingly sincere. Special-tunnel certified. Very sensitive. Very verbal. Too much localization. More impressive than I wanted. I might be wrong. I am probably not wrong. Please do not DM me asking what a chagrin tunnel is. I know. You know. He knows. That is already too many people.꧂

true! []<

wwhat does this mean

「Σ(*´◯`ノ)ノ k-kyah!!!! n-nani!?! (゜゜;)(。 。;) a-a real east alternian joshi!」 「*gulp*」 「a-act nyahtural, megane-san... (;`∀´) eburibody sukis you...」 「(´ε ` ) kekekeke~ megane will fix~」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: nani means what!!! (; ・`ω・´) megane could have never expected... how many east alternian baddies there are! (ーωー) joshi means kyutiegirl... suki means... wuv! (^3^)/ wuv-u wuv-u kyutie beamu!!!]

huh D:Z i'm scared
i wwas gonna respond wwith another racist screed but honestly it feels like all the bigotry has left my body an been replaced wwith goo horrible horrible goo wwhat makes you wwant to feed your flesh to the gapin mawws of a million wwicked angels howw long did it take you to put out that slop an wwhy am i the bottom wwe both knoww youd be the one takin it

[ ...uoy dn4tsrednu t'nod I ]

[ ??lleh ehT ???t4eM fo ED4M uoy er4 yhW ]

Wow, took me a while to decode! 8ut my pusher is so touched regardless of the words, I'm just so fly that I can make any ro8o 8ae feel something even when they're not supposed to. SCORE! Thanks 8a8ez. ;;;;)

Woah! sorry.

「megane-san: ai-chan... call my tomodachi... (* ̄∇ ̄)ノ ai-chan: uguu~ megane-san, no contacts were found! (゜m゜;) n-nyahni!?! h-how can this happen to such a kyool guy? *oppai bounces* megane-san: kekeke~... ai-chan, call my pawns... (ФωФ) ai-chan: a-ah! Σヽ(゚∀゚) nyah~☆! 1,000 contacts found, senpai! (*^¬^*) megane-san: keh... (*´_`) just as expected...」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: tomodachi means friends.]









