♠ hated by @golgothasTerrorized
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That's just part of growing up and growing apart, Jake. It's nothing personal from any of us. We're just busy doing things in our own lives. Do you really not have anything going on outside of waiting for me to come see you? This is a genuine question.
You poor little baby. I'll try to find more time for you this week. I've been extremely busy doing those super important things I told you about in private that you cannot mention here... so it's been hard finding time to answer the phone.
girl get up..
Very interesting seeing certain people in my replies. I have to wonder what brought them to care about my posts at all considering the tension that tends to form between us across all timelines. Much to think about.
Oh, extremely normal. I'm sure a lot of people beg their ex-boyfriends for round two because he dared to pull out instead of finishing inside them. I'm sure they also get so noisy during sex that they lose their voice and have to lie about catching a cold to their friends. So very sure. So very normal. #nsfw
of course you would say this bro you have the soul of a 70 year old
yo whoever came up with that rule about socks making shit not gay was the gayest gay guys always have some damn socks on like knee socks and some garters if theyre old enough i have never seen a gay guy who wasnt weirdly into socks and stinky feet what does this mean if anything?? #nsfw ???
dO YoU NoT LiKe iT? :o(
sOrRy fOr tHe bAd cAmErA QuAlItY BrO. HtTpS://I.PoStImG.Cc/l4zWjM5S/WhAt.jPg
the fuck are you gonna do some late night online shopping for a new pair of suspiciously short shorts or like i dunno get mildly tipsy and text your friends cat videos
anyone wvanna get beforan style culled by a handsome rich vwiolet sexual style? #nsfwv
You know who else is divorced
Shopping trip. #BettyCrocker #Reup #NeedMyMix #Yummers!
/man it 𝐋owk just seems 𝐋ike u didn't think nothing out maybe ur just cooked
/did u not 𝐋ook up or what bro that's a ski𝐋𝐋 issue fr
?neat ,huH
.hey watch this tricK
all hail shy Dirk ALL HAIL SHY DIRK
My bad.
Nevermind. Killing that guy cancelled.
you MURDERER
On my way with my katana.
GUYS @golgothasTerrorized KILLED SHY DIRK GET HIS ASS
==> We are the same person. I'm you, if you let yourself grow into a real person, instead of endlessly chasing the misinterpretation of clout that a centuries old dead guy once held for us. Move on.
==> We're the same man. We have the same body.
you plane shift into the border ethereal and find me there and i look at you like this
THERE YOU ARE. YOU LITTLE RACIST.
JAKE ENGLISH. I'M COMING FOR YOU.
|| ANON SAYS... "i love breakups can more people break up i love having shiT To Talk abouT behind ppls backs" YES! More Talk abouT breakups. IT's juicy. If YOU have any juice To spare... 😛 hTTps://forms.gle/jBU3eq8wm6VYBFaR9 LeT us hear iT ~<3
☆ Finally fuKKin free. Anyway happy #firearmfriday this weeK I’m raving about the Chiappa Rhino, a beauty of a revolver this little number boasts a hexagonal cylinder rather than a circular one, chambered in .357 and boasting over 40 moving parts maKes her an intriKate little beauty. You Kan also get stupid with her and have her be a weird little snubnose which is fun for Konceal Karry but I love me a longer barrel. https://postimg.cc/t19JFwc0 https://postimg.cc/8FTcL90n https://postimg.cc/NyQFRSz3☆
had this #dream that i was in these sick ass lil cowboy boots n sum smexy lil jorts we were on a cliff goin upways thru the deserty bluffs & when i looked @ the sign it said we were going up bareback mountain #woaw #trustory
Y34h, 17’5 83c4u53 7h3y 4r3. W3ll n07 y0u 5p3c1f1c4lly ju57 ‘J4k3 3n9l15h’. 51nc3 7h47’5 4l50 y0u, 1 9u355 7h47 d035 m4k3 y0u 4 punch1n9 849 l0l.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
8u7 17’5 funny wh3n 7h3y’r3 m34n˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
Wh473v3r 7yp3 0f r3l4710n5h1p D1rk 4nd J4k3 h4v3 901n9 0n 15 4lw4y5 50 m355y. 17’5 h1l4r10u5. Fuck l0l˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
Jake continues to be a massive disappointment of wasted and unused talent.
R⚣⚣ting f⚣r y⚣u dave
you dont wanna set the record straight and end my internal argument? dont wanna offer to show me whats right? sad
just having a discussion about whether or not you take it or give it man yknow casual stuff
nvm youre fucked
જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴જ⁀➴ surprise archery attack youve been fucking ambushed jake moe for your life
computer make this guy have a fatter ass #suggestive
i want to be a pornographic caricature but i have these stupid emotional and physical needs.
Yeah, Jake's gone for a bit.
==> Aw dang it. I've already failed.
Jakelifehack 1: Miss dirk
Almost said "It's awesome how you've become less funny since you transitioned. Really gender affirming stuff." to a trans woman but that's too far even for me.
It's a pretty good banner.
ok drop your preferred fuckin nomenclature then english but i dont wwanna hear nothin about pride until you havve claimed your vvengeance in blood
@golgothasTerrorized lock the fuck in jungle boy youre invvokin net aura loss for all heroes and antiheroes a hope wwith that unseemly display from earlier or at the vvery least course correct this public contention to include more arena combat just eridans twwo caegars
Further lying to his face by claiming that you and only you love him. Wonderful job, asswipe. I hope this filled your Nice Quota for the day. Now stop talking to him or I'll make sure all contact between you two is severed.
Anyway, sorry about all that. I'll go back to saying you're all mutated freaks who fuck your own mothers now. Embarassing show from me, really.
I'm drunk enough to actually say something genuine. Jesus christ. I get so earnest off that Asahi. Jake: I know you're not gonna listen to me. You only listen to me when I'm telling you shit you want to hear. That's why we broke up. But trust me, man: There's nothing left for you here. No Dirk Strider in all of Paradox Space has what you're looking for. We can't fix you, and we can't make you a complete person again. No amount of throwing yourself at us and praying it'll be different this time will change that, and even if you found a Dirk who settled down with you for the rest of your life you still wouldn't be happy, because we are not good for each-other. You need to move on. You're a hot dude. You've got a nice ass, and you know how to use it. You are, on occasion, funny. You even don't look like total shit with a moustache. You've got a life to live, if you'd only stop tying yourself to the anchor that is Dirk Strider. If anything between us mattered to you, if you actually still love me and not just what I represent to you, then move on. Please. I want you to be happy. I love you, which is why you need to leave. Because none of the other Dirks love you back.
I cannot fucking imagine stooping to such a level. I cannot imagine being that much of a desperate, whiny fuck. I cannot wrap my brain around even entertaining the thought for a mere moment. "Hey! I think I should do the dumbest fucking thing anyone has ever done... and then proceed to do the NEW dumbest thing anyone has ever done!" Only he could actually manage to have such an intelligent thought process. I thought that maybe dragging him along through this entire setup of dates and arguments and blah blah blah would eventually lead to something favorable, but no. I did not take into account how much of a fucking disappointment he truly is. I did not think, even for a moment, that he would seriously kiss the ground in which the most annoying man in the universe walks. That one specifically, I mean. Everyone involved needs to be shot dead and I mean that with my whole heart. If God loves me, he will strike them all down one by one in various gruesome ways so I don't have to waste time and energy on doing it myself.
I'm not his boyfriend.
There's worse Jakes to be, believe me.
And I'm still not taking him back, I just wanted to see him squirm.
That's going in the banner.
Either that was really impressive ⚣r really sad, i'm g⚣ing t⚣ say really impressive w⚣rk @triumphantTestificate
This wh9le interacti9n 6etween th9se tw9 had my mind asking "Sh9uld I intervene 6etween them" c9nstantly. 96vi9usly I haven't d9ne that. 6ut sheesh f9r whatever reas9n there was c9nstant temptati9n.
Remem6er t9 tag y9ur pu6lic pitch flirting and/9r self-demeaning su6missi9n appr9priately. Thank y9u. TW #nsfw #pitch #quadrantEntanglements #su6missi9n #degradati9n
my point still stands hilarious
▲▲▲HAHAHA holy shit▼▼▼
Good doggy.
>MFW IT'S ACTUALLY JUST ENTIRELY ORCHESTRATED THEY'RE DOING PET PLAY NOW LOLOLOL
Hurry up, Jakey.
▲it was getting too chummy in here anyways▼
▲man i fucking love instigating, i think these two are perfect for each other, theyre clearly fucking miserable▼ ▲yeah keep fighting in public that’ll fix everything, explain to us how its the others fault lol▼
Because you're obsessed with me and want my approval so badly it makes you look stupid. Clock's ticking, English. Last chance to win me back.
▲toxic yaoi▼
@golgothasTerrorized Get down on your knees and say "I'm sorry for being bratty, Senpai" right now and I'll tell you that I love you the way I used to before I dumped you.
You heard me.
Never admit fault.
Whatever you do, DO NOT look at the dash for advice. #dashwatching
youu keep responndinng to him..
Mr. English, perhaps cease responding and it will end rather abruptly.
You sleep around with any Dirk willing to put up with you.
Us ( The Chittr Userbase ) Right Now. #substances #abuse https://i.ibb.co/60hjhpmy/fy-i15t-ha-maiqna-e.jpg
https://a.pinatafarm.com/1230x915/43bcb3e501/simpsons-monkey-fight.jpg #dashwatching
Sloppy thirds, really.
𝓣𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓔𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓱, 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓼 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽, 𝓲𝓷 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽, 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰. 𝓕𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓱𝓲𝓶. 𝓓𝓮𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓲𝓶. 𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮. ⨁𝓻 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓮. - 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭𝓵𝔂, 𝓚𝓪𝔃𝓲𝓮𝓵 𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓵
Yeah, I'm actually seeing other men. Instead of crying about you all day. Maybe you could learn a thing or two?
I recognise I have an unstoppable aura of homoerotic energy but I'm not trying to pitch English. Too busy taming one brat, no time for my alt's sloppy seconds.
You seemed pretty fucking surprised I responded to your post about me.
Ɏ ♠? Ɏ Ɏ #da-a-ashwa-a-atching Ɏ
I’m really glad we’re all gathered here today. This is true unity. #dashwashing
:( #dAshwAtch
This is truly incredible to watch. I am sipping my tea. #vagueposting but you all know what I'm talking about.
if ouonly t.there was a quwuadrant.t fouor t.that.t
And here he is crawling back to me yet again.
If you want to think I'm not over him go ahead. People think worse things about me every day. Doesn't make it true, though. I just like fucking with him.
Sure you aren't. Now respond to this one too like a good little doggy, because you're hopelessly addicted to my attention.
so we all agree neither of them is over it right #dashwatching
Okay I’m really glad we’re all witness to this.
Nope. Still bearded in spirit.
Love you too.
No, not at all.
Hey sweetheart.
You'd fuck anything with triangular shades.
▲man i love watching couples fight▼
Yeah, pretty fucking swell.
You're the one desperate for my approval to fill the Strider-shaped hole in your heart.
Free country.
Sure.
Love my fans.
Nope, I'm just not able to do that. Sorry.
I've already got a pup in my crate, I can't take on another. An English is for life, not just for christmas.
I think we both want to see him try.
I'm wounded, Barak. I thought we had something.
A Dirk goes where he pleases.
That's the spirit! You'll get over him one day!
Yeah, I feel pretty fucking super actually.
I know.
If you say it enough times it might even become true.
You're seriously surprised Dirk Strider is kicking a man while he's down?
Love me or hate me, you're all still thinking about me pretty fucking constantly.
Nope.
I'm sorry, son. Daddy and other daddy are getting another divorce.
Oh, in that case you don't even wanna KNOW the type of shit Mr. English gets up to. I'm positively puritan compared to him.
Did I ever claim to not do what I accuse you of doing?
You don't have to explicitly say my name to let everyone know that your pathetic little #divorced and #queer post was about me. And what happened to this pathetic little display? https://i.postimg.cc/K4XYDkC1/image.png
What Jake doesn't know is that, regardless of the way in which he talks about me, I'm still on his mind. He isn't over me in the slightest and he never will be at this rate. Nothing productive will come of constantly bringing up my name, he will continue to be hyped up as this Free Girlboss who doesn't need me, and no one will see how laughably ironic it is. You're all doing exactly what I want you to do. Feed into his delusions so it hurts worse when he realizes how much he needs me in his life.
You all are incompetent.
it's cuz u insulted cookiesncream
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. Insan༄ qu༄stion btw . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
sarcasm, english
Jake and Dirk variants don’t even break up anymore they just get really emo for 1-3 days before going “yeah but he’s hot though.”
JAKE ENGLISH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GREEN PEOPLE.
THE SECOND I CALL OUT JAKE ENGLISH FOR BEING A PHONY THIS SITE GOES TO SHIT. OBVIOUSLY THIS IS BECAUSE HIM AND HIS MORONIC COMPANY HAVE SOME KIND OF STOCK IN THIS PLACE. IT'S A CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME. BECAUSE I'M GREEN. #JAKEISRACIST < GET IT TRENDING.
THE ONLY ONES WHO SHOULD BE PROUD ARE THE ALPHA YAOIS.
JAKE ENGLISH IS A FRAUD, A CUCKOLD, AND THE LAMEST BETA MALE IN EXISTENCE. THERE IS A REASON HE IS THE ALPHA MALES UKE.
I hate that I still feel anything for you. I wish I hated you. It would be easier if I did.
If only you quit making all these not-so-vague posts about me. Maybe then you'd have better luck ignoring my existence.
You can't hide from the parts of yourself you don't like, coward. You and I are one in the same and you're just as bad as me. It's time you accept who you are.
Do you have anything nice to say to me, Jake?
Because you used the exact same words I used in my post directly after I posted it. You must think I'm a moron or something because I cannot believe you'd be this dense. I always took you for a brick wall facing a mirror but I never thought it might actually be true.
Your input on the matter ultimately means nothing because you don't even understand what I'm talking about. Not because what I'm saying is bullshit, but because you're too pea-brained to actually comprehend any of the words coming out of my mouth.
I love knowing that my closest allies are thinking about nonsense instead of anything of value. I'm not any better but I'm allowed to let my mind wander. Fluff in the narration isn't always a bad thing and sometimes people should know about the ways in which my mind works. I'm the one writing this shit so it holds some weight.
(⊱♓︎⊰) correct :)
(⊱♓︎⊰) and i thought i used to be pathetic haha!
PATHETIC. TAKE WHAT YOU WANT OR DIE.
I'm not evil either. Just because I did some scary things to get to this point doesn't mean that I'm a cruel, unfeeling monster. I'm going to save you.
Does clicking the cute little Hate Button on my reply make you feel a bit better? Is it cathartic?
Well, no. Your guy is still very much dead and has been for a good while.
Well this is just plum embarassing for me.
Hells bells and whistles shortround hes dead not dumb! The least you could do is honor his last wishes to be buried a bachelor.
Ah phooey dude toss your hat in the ring. Six to one and half a dozen the other theyll be over it jiffy quick.
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dirk strider will never love you more than he loves puppets and my little pony. im sorry big man but thats just the way it is. you gotta cut your losses thats my advice
Everyones wetting their britches about a dude getting tootsweet on the timeline. Tighten your belts boys thats usually how it is for him! #vaguepost #NOTvaguepost #missingmyfishing
This will be the last time that I, in my current state, post anything to this platform. Or say anything at all. I'd make some drawn out speech about how I'll miss you all but this won't be the last time that we see each other. I'm just a single piece of a much larger puzzle and this will all be worth it in the end. Those who need to find me know where to look. I apologize for the scene that awaits you. ( #cw-self-harm )
man iit ha2nt even been twenty miinute2 what are you talkiing about
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2ometiime2 ii cant even beliieve jake and diirk arent collectiive fiigment2 of our 2elf loathiing becau2e what the fuck lmao
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For the record, he told me to post this ridiculous statement. I indulged him despite the fact that I personally would never say something so stupid. Not this version of myself at least.
Oh yeah. I'm going to use the lasso tool to remove it from your body and mount it on my wall.
Don't smile at me all cute like that. You aren't telling me something and it's only going to piss me off the longer you hide it. Do I need to come over there and fight you myself?
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I have no advice to give other than to fight like your life depends on it.. even though it very much doesn't. You should be used to the bruises and blisters by now. Don't tell me you're going soft.
You haven't been keeping up with your training like I told you to. These are the consequences of your actions, Jake.
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5k1ll 155u35. 819 L M0m3n7. 54d. R1P.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
Hi uglies
the teeny weeny shorts arent doing you any favors big guy