♦ pitied by @grimAuxiliatrix
maybe she just isnt polyamorous that way!
I miss her. Not as in ሠቹ, the collective, I as in Rose, apologies if this is confusing. Kanaya please take me back.
Truly, how did another version of myself manage to fumble her so catastrophically? #Meat > #Candy
Everytime I feel a little pathetic for my whims and woes on my failure of a lovelife I come onto Chittr and am greeted with the reality of the famous quote: "There's always a bigger fish." Qui-Gon Jinn | Wookieepedia - Fandom
[There is a link to a GrubTube video from the official New New Skaia Community College channel. Most of the videos on it are from some sort of media club, but there are more official looking ones as well. The video shows Tavros wearing a graduation cap, a gown, and a mixed expression. She keeps glancing towards the front of the audience, at a handful of empty seats. She walks to a podium, struggles a bit with the microphone, then delivers a valedictorian speech. Her voice is cracking and her tone wavering, but she has the audience eating out of the palm of her hand. They laugh at nonsense non-sequitors that sound like inside jokes, they cheer when she congratulates them all, they fall silent when she laments that Mr. Abernathy wasn't able to make it. She even gets an applause that's only half-begrudging when she compliments the vegan catering done by some reality show. Some way, somehow, tavros has the aura of someone popular. Liked. Respected. And yet, she keeps glancing towards those chairs. Eventually she bows out, throws up her cap, and makes her way off-stage just in time for the cameras to only barelt catch her mascara starting to run.] wELL, tHERE IT IS, fOUR HUMAN YEARS AND,,, iT'S OVER, i AM A BACHELORETTE OF, bIOLOGY,,, i'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO THE, sKAIAN uNIVERSITY OF lIFE FOR THE VETERINARY TRACK SO,,, jUST TIME TO WAIT FOR THAT, aHAHA,,, tHANKS @TIMAEUStESTIFIED FOR SHOWING UP, tHAT WAS A SURPRISE SINCE, wELL i GUESS i SHOULD HAVE SENT YOU AN INVITE, i JUST DIDN'T THINK YOU, aCCEPTED ME AS BASICALLY, tHE 8TH ALPHA KID BUT,,, iT MEANT A LOT THAT, sOMEONE SHOWED, aHA, hA,,, tHIS WAS, a REALLY BIG MOMENT FOR ME, AND,,, i REALLY WANTED TO SHARE IN THAT JOY, wITH MY FRIENDS AND, eXPERIENCE PEOPLE BEING PROUD, oF ME AND COMING OUT, fOR ME, yOU KNOW, mAKING TIME FOR, tAVROS BUT, pEOPLE ARE BUSY, i GET IT, sO IT'S WHATEVER, bUT UMM, i SHOULDN'T BE WHINING, cONGRATS TO ALL MY FELLOW GRADS AND, tHANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, mR. aBERNATHY, i WISH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THERE, i'M GOING HIVE, HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/FC2BD92E027F.JPG
I’M NOT KILLING PEOPLE. I’M KILLING BOYS. JENNIFER’S BODY. A CLASSIC TEEN DRAMA THRILLER THAT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET MYSELF NICE AND ACCLIMATED TO THE MURKY, SCUM-COVERED POOL WATER IN THE YMCA OF HORROR. THE TILE IS SLIMY AND IT SMELLS LIKE MILDEW IN HERE, BUT FUCK, I GUESS I’M GOING IN ANYWAY. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO— *DECIDED* TO— WATCH VIVARIUM FIRST, GIVEN THAT THE LEVEL OF “TERROR AND DREAD” IN THIS FILM WAS HARDLY WHAT IT WAS FOR THAT ONE. PERHAPS I DUNKED MY HEAD IN FIRST INTO THAT DREADFUL EXISTENTIAL BLACKNESS INSTEAD OF WALKING DOWN THE STEPS HOLDING THE RAILING AND MAYBE DONNING A SWIM CAP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. IF ONLY I KNEW THAT JENNIFER’S BODY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL, STRANGELY, A SIMILAR EMPTY ACHE. IT STARTS SIMPLE ENOUGH; JENNIFER AND NEEDY ARE TWO EARTH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. I COULD SEE THEM AS PALE, BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. NEEDY IS THIS HUGE DWEEB THAT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS QUESTIONING ABOUT HOW SOMEBODY LIKE JENNIFER— THE PRETTY CHEERLEADER— EVEN ACTUALLY LIKES HER. IT’S CLEAR THAT THE TWO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, AND HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND. THEY DECIDE ONE NIGHT TO GO OUT TO THIS LOCAL BAR (OR RATHER, JENNIFER CONVINCES NEEDY TO ABANDON HER SHITRINSER OF A MATESPRIT) TO SEE A ROCK BAND THAT’S PASSING THROUGH DEVIL’S KETTLE. THINGS GO WAY SOUTH WAY QUICK. THE BAR, DUE TO AN ACCIDENT OF SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT GOING HAYWIRE, GOES UP IN FLAMES. IT’S A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SHITFEST, NATURALLY, EVERYBODY SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BURNING AS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE CAUGHT IN A BURNING BUILDING. CLASSIC. JENNIFER IS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THAT VERY GROUP OF MEN WHEN THEY ASK HER IF SHE AND NEEDY WANT TO COME WITH THEM TO THEIR *TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT CREEPY* ROCKER SCUTTLEBUGGY. NEEDY SAYS NO, BEGS FOR JENNIFER NOT TO FOLLOW, BUT BECAUSE SHE’S IN SHOCK FROM THE SHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED, SHE GOES WITHOUT PROTEST. AND THIS IS HOW JENNIFER ENDS UP BEING CHOSEN AS A “VIRGIN SACRIFICE” FOR A DEMONIC RITUAL ENACTED BY THE MEN FOR THE PURPOSES OF EVERLASTING FAME AND FORTUNE. I’M NOT SUPER FAMILIAR WITH THE HUMAN SIGNIFICANCE OF VIRGINITY, SO I HAD TO LOOK IT UP, AND WHAT A WEIRD PILE OF MISOGYNISTIC GARBAGE, FIRST OF ALL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR PERPETUATING SUCH A NOTION THAT HONESTLY FEELS PREDATORY AND FUCKING EVIL. I DIGRESS. BUT GET THIS! THIS IS WHERE SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER. THE RITUAL GOES INCORRECTLY, BECAUSE JENNIFER ISN’T A VIRGIN OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE OF THAT, THE DEMON THAT THE BAND WAS TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ATTACHES ITSELF TO HER INSTEAD, RESURRECTING HER AND MAKING A HOME ALONGSIDE HER SOUL. THIS GIVES HER AN INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR BLOOD AND VISCERA, WHICH DRIVES HER TO SEDUCE AND SUBSEQENTLY FEED OFF OF THE LIVING, STARTING WITH THE GROUP WHO PUT HER IN THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT SEEMS THAT WHILE SHE CAN’T CONTROL HER URGES TO FEED, SHE CAN CONTROL *WHO* SHE FEEDS ON, WHICH IS LUCKY FOR NEEDY, BECAUSE SHE REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN IN SOME HOT WATER WHEN JENNIFER SHOWED UP IN HER HOUSE COVERED IN BLOOD AND BILE HUNGRY AS FUCK AND ATE HER MOM’S ROTISSERIE CLUCKBEAST OUT OF THE THERMAL HULL. SO THE KILLINGS CONTINUE, AND NEEDY IS TRYING TO FIND A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS INSANE HORSESHIT BECAUSE SHE STILL DOESN’T QUITE GET THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF HER FRIEND AND THE MISSING BOYS THAT HAVE CROPPED UP TORN TO BITS IN THE DAYS AFTER. SOMEHOW. EVEN WHEN JENNIFER VISITS HER AT HOME AND SHOWS HER FLESH— HER TONGUE, TO BE EXACT— IS IMMUNE TO INJURY. IT ONLY CLICKS SHE VISITS THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND LEARNS ABOUT HUMAN OCCULT RITUALS AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS POSSESSED. IT CULMINATES, WHEN, ON THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, NEEDY FINDS HERSELF ABANDONED BY HER CHIP AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LEADING HIM ASTRAY. NEEDY FINDS HER IN AN ABANDONED POOL HOUSE WITH HER MATESPRIT HALF-ALIVE, AND THEY HAVE A SHOWDOWN, WHICH LEAVES NEEDY ALIVE WITH A FEW SCRATCHES AND CHIP DEAD. NEEDY HUNTS JENNIFER DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND KILLS HER IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM. THIS IS WHAT LANDS NEEDY IN PRISON, WHICH IS WHERE THE STORY STARTED US OFF. THE ACTUAL UNDERLYING NARRATIVE OF JENNIFER’S BODY, IF YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION (I.E. IF YOU HAVE A PULSE AND ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A FART NIBLET LOLLING ABOUT ON YOUR LOBE STEM) IS REALLY… SAD. THE USE OF SEDUCTION TO ENTRAP THE UNSUSPECTING HAMBEASTS THAT FALL INTO HER CLUTCHES IS A VERY, *VERY* INTENTIONAL PLOT DEVICE. THE WHOLE REASON SHE’S EVEN IN THIS POSITION IS NOT OF HER OWN VOLITION; SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED FROM A BAR FIRE AND THEN ROUNDED UP BY A GROUP OF PREDATORS WHO WANTED TO USE HER *BODY* FOR A RITUAL THAT ENDED UP GOING HAYWIRE. SEE? EVEN DOWN TO THE TITLE. I FEEL LIKE I’M CONNECTING SOME DOTS HERE FOR YOU HOPEFULLY. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR CHOICES THAT SHE’S NOW STRUNG UP WITH A CURSE THAT SHE CAN NEVER QUELL. A POSSESSION THAT SHE CAN’T CONQUER, LEST SOMEBODY FREE HER FROM IT. WHICH LEADS ME TO NEEDY. THE RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDY AND JENNIFER MAINTAIN IS ALSO OF INTEREST TO ME. I’VE INTENTIONALLY SKIPPED A FEW PIECES OF THE SYNOPSIS TO COME BACK TO THIS EXPLANATION HERE. THERE’S THIS SWEEPING UNDERCURRENT OF INNATE CONNECTION THAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE HISTORICALLY SHARED. THE WATCHER IS PRIVY TO SOME FLASHBACKS ABOUT THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY WERE WIGGLERS, AND INCLINATIONS TO THEIR FRIENDSHIP UP TO NOW. THERE’S NO DENYING THAT THEY’RE BONDED LIKE I SAID BEFORE, BUT HOW DEEP DOES IT REALLY GO? THE STORY DOESN’T SPELL IT OUT, BUT WE CAN HYPOTHESIZE. THE FIRST SCENE I’LL GIVE MENTION TO IS WHEN NEEDY AND CHIP ARE DOING A HUMAN MATING RITUAL, AND JENNIFER IS ABOUT TO TEAR COLIN, THAT SAD EMO KID, APART TO EAT HIM. WE GET A DISTURBING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CHIP AND NEEDY DOING WHATEVER THEY’RE DOING (AND GOD, DOES IT LOOK DRY) AND JENNIFER TEARING COLIN LIMB FROM LIMB. WHILE THIS HAPPENS, NEEDY HALLUCINATES BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE CEILING AND SHE FLIPS HER EVERLOVING SHIT. THAT EVENING, WHEN NEEDY IS SAFE AND SOUND IN BED, JENNIFER SNEAKS IN AND PROCEEDS TO SEDUCE HER. AND DON’T GET ME WRONG, I THINK THIS PART WAS LIKELY A BIT OF A GRAB FOR THE AUDIENCE WHO WANT TO DROOL AT TWO HOT HUMAN GIRLS SWAPPING SPIT, BUT I ALSO THINK THAT JENNIFER WAS TRYING TO SHOW NEEDY HER ABILITIES IN AN ATTEMPT AT… CAMARADERIE? WARNING SIGNAL? IT WASN’T WITH THE INTENT TO EAT HER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS, THAT’S FOR SURE. AND IT’S AT THIS POINT THAT WE LEARN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO JENNIFER THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE, WHICH TINGES THIS WHOLE SCENE BLUE FOR ME. JENNIFER IS *SAD*. SHE HERSELF WAS KILLED, RIPPED APART, FLAYED OPEN, AND SO IT FUCKING SERVES THEM ALL RIGHT THAT THE DEMON THAT OVERTOOK HER IS HELPING HER ENACT REVENGE. AND THIS, FURTHERMORE, IS WHY SHE REPEATEDLY SPARES NEEDY, TIME AFTER TIME. JENNIFER DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO HURT ANYONE, BUT *ESPECIALLY* NOT THE ONE PERSON IN HER LIFE THAT SEEMS TO TRULY LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER THAN SUPERFICIALLY. THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF PITY CONNECTION THAT CAN’T EVEN BE SEVERED BY A DEMONIC PRESENCE. DAMN, WISH I HAD SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. WHO TYPED THAT LAST SENTENCE. MOVING ON. THE FINAL SCENE WITH JENNIFER PRESENT IS THE OTHER IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. NEEDY HUNTS HER DOWN AFTER SHE KILLS CHIP, AND THE TWO HAVE A BRAWL IN JENNIFER’S BEDROOM. IT ENDS WHEN NEEDY DISARMS HER BY BREAKING HER “BFF” NECKLACE, AND IT IS THIS ACTION THAT HELPS NEEDY TAKE THAT FINAL SWING AND STAB HER IN THE HEART. THE TWO OF THEM HAVE THIS, DARE I SAY, TENDER MOMENT AS JENNIFER TAKES HER LAST BREATHS. AS SHE EXHALES FOR THE LAST TIME, HER PALLOR RETURNS TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS, AS IF THE DEMON WERE FINALLY PROPERLY EXORCISED. IT’S A MERCY KILLING AS MUCH AS IT IS AN AVENGEMENT. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. AND STILL, THAT FEELING LINGERS. JENNIFER WAS A GIRL THAT ULTIMATELY, DESERVED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT HAPPENED TO HER. AND SHE FUCKING DIED FOR IT ANYWAY. THEN, NEEDY, HER BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, CONTINUES HER LEGACY AND REVENGE SPREE, IF ONLY TO RESPECT THE MEMORY OF HER DEAREST FRIEND. NEEDY IS PULLED INTO THE WAVES TOO. THE RIPPLE EFFECT IS BIGGER THAN JUST JENNIFER. IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE THING YOU’VE EVER WATCHED OR HEARD, YOU NEED YOUR GANDERBULBS AND AURALDUCTS CHECKED. YES, IT’S CAMPY AND A BIT KETCHUP-BLOODY. YES, IT USES LANGUAGE THAT 6 YEAR OLD ME WOULD HAVE USED AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY BEAT PAST KARKAT UP FOR LATER. IT’S OBVIOUSLY OF ITS TIME, AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT WILL CHANGE THAT. HOWEVER. NON OF THAT NEGATES THE FACT THAT THIS IS A NARRATIVE ABOUT ONE’S CHOICES AND HOW THEY CAN DESTROY ANOTHER’S LIFE. AND MORE SPECIFICALLY, HOW MEN’S DELIBERATE DECISIONS CAN AFFECT WOMEN. IT’S HUGELY ALLEGORICAL FOR THE WAY MANY SOCIETIES OPERATE NOW, WHETHER IT’S MISOGYNY OR CASTEISM OR WHATEVER OTHER PIECE OF SOCIOLOGICAL CONCEPT YOU WANT TO PUT THE LENS ON IT WITH. I THINK THIS FILM GETS A DISTORTED AND UNEARNED PERSPECTIVE PLACED ON IT BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION. FOUR STARS. KILL MORE BOYS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/7AFCA7A64B23.JPEG #BLOOD #SUGGESTIVE MAYBE
LET ME SET THE SCENE HERE. I'M SAT IN MY RESPITE BLOCK AT PRESENT, THE ONLY THING I HAVE OPEN ON MY COMPUTER IS CHITTR. IT'S A TEMPERATE MAY DAY IN THE TROLL KINGDOM AND THE RAIN IS COMING DOWN OUTSIDE PRETTY HEAVILY. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE THE WINDOW OPEN A CRACK TO HEAR IT FALL. THE SYNCOPATED PITTER PATTER ON THE OUTSIDE WINDOW DANCING IN CONCERT WITH THE SOUND OF MY TOUCH STUBS GLIDING ACROSS MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD. BACK ON ALTERNIA, YOU DID *NOT* WANT YOUR WINDOW OPEN DURING THE RAIN. THAT SHIT WAS PURE ACID, AND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIVE WAS BUILT TO WITHSTAND IT, BUT THE INSIDE SURE WASN'T AND NEITHER WAS YOUR SKIN. FOR SOME TIME, EVEN THOUGH ITS SAFE TO TOUCH THE RAINWATER ON EARTH-C, I REFUSED TO OPEN MY WINDOW. TODAY THAT CHANGED. DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? BECAUSE TODAY IS A DAY OF FIRSTS. UPON REFLECTION, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY FIRST 'SPONSORED POST'. A BENEFACTOR WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS GAVE ME A GIFT CARD TO A PIZZA PLACE CALLED GIORDANO'S. THERE WAS ENOUGH ON THIS CARD FOR A MEAL FOR TWO AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR EVERYONE, I *WILL* BE GOING BACK. I HATE EVERYTHING THAT THIS PIZZA TRIP HAS MADE ME BECOME. THE KARKAT THAT YOU KNEW YESTERDAY IS A DEAD MAN. HE'S BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST, MERELY AN ERRANT SPECTER HAUNTING YOUR MEMORY. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. EXCEPT...I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T I? IF THERE IS ONE THING KARKAT VANTAS IS- IT'S UNREPENTANT IN HIS FOOD OPINIONS. DID YOU REALLY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WOULD GROVEL AT YOUR FEET? BESEECH YOUR TEMPLE FOR APOLOGY? THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCY OF THE EXTREMELY FAKE CLOWN GODS ABOVE FOR DARING TO THINK THAT THIS PIZZA *FUCKS SEVERELY*? YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. WELCOME TO KARKAT'S PIZZA REVIEWS. THERE IS NO GOD HERE BUT ME. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR TITHES IN THE TIP JAR AND KISS MY FINALLY BEJEWELED RING YOU ME DAMNED HEATHEN. NORMALLY WHEN I TRY OUT A NEW PIZZA PLACE, I GO FOR THE BASICS. NOT THIS TIME. AS THIS WAS A SPONSORED VISIT, I TOOK INSTRUCTION ON WHAT PIZZA TO GET- ANY VARIETY OF THEIR EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. I SEE NOW WHY SOME HUMANS CALL THIS SHIT A 'PIZZA PIE' BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT THING HAD A *CRUST*. IT WAS LIKE EXCAVATING IN A MINE OF SAUCE AND MOLTEN HOT CHEESE. I'LL ADMIT. I WAS VERY HESITANT GOING INTO THIS. SAUCE? ON TOP OF THE PIZZA? HOW NOVEL! HOW STRANGE! I'D HEARD OF SUCH A CONCOCTION, SUCH A WEIRD FUCKING MEAL BEFORE AND I'D SORT OF WRITTEN IT OFF ENTIRELY. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO THE PALATE OF ANYONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINKPAN AND THE FULL POSSESSION OF ONE'S NATURAL FLAVOR BUMPS. I WAS A FUCKING FOOL. A FRAUD, EVEN. I'M A MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAN NOW. A BETTER MAN. THAT. SHIT. FUCKED. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST 10/10 REVIEW. THIS BASIC ASS, BEAUTIFULLY SIMPLISTIC CHEESE AND SAUCE DEEP DISH FLAVOR DISC WILL BE MY SWAN SONG. YOU CAN PLAY ME OUT NOW. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LET'S REVIEW WHAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID? THIS IS UNASSAILABLE! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO ATTAIN THE BENEVOLENT PEAKS THAT THIS FLAVOR DISC PROVIDES, YOU HAPLESS DEGENERATE. YOU SPEND HOURS EVERY DAY GOONING ON CHITTR.ING WHEN THERE'S A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF EXPERIENCES WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR IF YOU JUST SEEK TO ATTAIN THEM,. THE CRUST FOUGHT ME. IT WAS A BRIEF STRUGGLE TO BITE INTO BEFORE ITS CRISPY DENSENESS YIELDED TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF MY FANGS, LIKE A LOVER JUST A TOUCH TOO SHY TO GIVE IN RIGHT AWAY. THE SAUCE SETTLED ON TOP, A TEASING OCEAN OF TOMATO AND PESTO. SHE STARED AT ME IN OUR TWIN COLOR, EYES ALLURING AND INSPIRING A GROWL FROM ME. IT WAS FERAL. I'M NOT PROUD OF THE WAY I TOOK HER. THE WAY I CLAMPED MY CLAWS AROUND HER AND TORE INTO HER SUPPLE FLESH. ...WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS #SUGGESTIVE? I'M DESCRIBING BITING INTO A SLICE OF PIZZA YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. THE CHEESE WAS THICK. HAVING BEEN BAKED INTO THE BASED LAYER OF THE PIZZA MEANT THAT SHIT WAS LIKE A LAVA EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. IT SCORNED ME AT FIRST, BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHIN, BUT ENTICED ME WITH HER FLAVOR. SO I PUT IT DOWN AND TOOK A HUGE GLUG OF COKE (WITH ICE) AND THANK YOU TO THE GIORDANO'S STAFF FOR THEIR SWIFT RESPONSE BECAUSE ANY LONGER AND I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED A LOT AND MADE EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT LOOK AT ME FUNNY AND THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WANT TO POST THIS AT ALL. THE FLAVOR PROFILE WAS IMMACULATE. EVERY FLAVOR BLENDED INTO EACH OTHER SO PERFECTLY BUT STILL KEPT THEMSELVES CHASTELY DISTINCT, EACH SHOWING ME WHAT THEY HAD GOING FOR THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COLLECTIVE. THEY WERE LIKE MY THREE GIRLFRIENDS. AND YES THEY SMOKED WEED. TO PUT INTO THE SIMPLEST WORDS POSSIBLE. I AM A CHANGED MAN. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN WHO WALKED INTO THAT PIZZA PLACE. THAT SHIT WAS ALSO WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO EAT IN ONE SITTING SO I STILL HAVE A FEW SLICES LEFT THAT I TOOK HOME AND SHOVED IN THE FRIDGE. VRISKA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS KEEP YOUR HANDSY THIEF PAWS OFF OF MY FUCKING PIZZA I MARKED IT WITH MY BLOOD AND PUNCHED IN TRIPLICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING *MINE*, OKAY? I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY I GOT YOU A BBQ MEATLOVERS IT'S IN THE FRIDGE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, OKAY? I EVEN GOT YOU A 2L OF SPRITE. YOU *LOVE* SPRITE. IS THIS ENOUGH APPEASEMENT FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR LOUSY, NO GOOD CLAWS OFF OF MY FOOD? YES? GOOD. GLAD WE COULD COME TO AN AGREEMENT. FINAL VERDICT: 10/10. I'VE FOUND A NEW LOVE IN LIFE. A NEW *PURPOSE.* THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, GUYS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO OUT AND SEIZE IT. CARPE DICKEM OR WHATEVER. THANK YOU AND GOONNIGHT. I MEAN GOODNIGHT.
There you go, there's the follow. I knew he could do it.
yknow im glad we dont got mcdonalds anymore they used to be making those nuggets out of dog surgery and roadkill
No, not it is not. Unfortunately I do fear it may 8e my lot for the continuation of this perigee, unless the trend for #Megidomay changes soon.
you have no idea how hard it was to hold in my woofs that whole time.... ._.
on a real fu(king roller (oaster tonight, gang
They took me to the hospital (8ecause I work there) and they said, "Lamplady", they said, "You don't know, do you?", and I said, I said to them, "I don't know, what don't I know?" and they said "Lamplady, you did it again." and I said, "What did I do?" another 8ed free!
lIl' TeRm oF EnDeArMeNt aIn't nEvEr dId nO ThAaAnG To nObOdY, mIsS Ma'aM. sHiIiIt. I MeAn. UnTiL It dId. BuT ThE PoInT'S AlL ThAt iT DoN'T GoTtA GeT *tO* tHe pOiNt wHeRe iT'S GoTtA Do hArM, iNnIt? I CaN TeLl yOu rEaLlY KeEpInG ThE ReSoLvE RuNnInG DeEp iN Yo pUsHeR, aNd tO ThAt, I SaY YoU Be tHrIvIn', mY MoSt mAtRoNlY Of mAmAcItAs. So i gEt iT. yOu uNdEr a lOtTa sTrEsSoRs. A BrOtHeR HeRe fOr yOu. ShIt lIkE DiGnItY AnD SaNiTy aIn't mUcH BuT ExCuSeS ThE ThInKmEaT ShUnTs uPoN YoU JuSt tO KeEp yOu aLl dOcIlE AnD ShIt. TaLk yO ShIt, GuRl. YoU DeSeRvE It. :o)
@araneaSerket , darling? Why are yo+u mediating tho+se respo+nses?
>([i literally looked like t#is t#ree nig#ts ago tryin 2 get to my basement] #ttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLYGrp0WQAMJ07x.jpg]
kiki my fat neet ass im so fucking upset right now (tags: The Rankmaid/Vagueposting, this war never ends, #mywar, archive rating: E)
>([i got problems in a way scientists are compelled to study in a lab]
It's called ripping the adhesive wound-sticker off, Karkat. We're making sure that when the time comes (and it WILL come, trust me) Kanaya is confident and ready to strut her stuff. The more she lets things air out, the 8etter the wounds will heal. If she keeps it all suppressed inside, it'll rot her pusher!
iS NOW, aNY TIME?
>([well w#en i was a kid i tried to play wit# all t#e ot#er kids but t#ey #ated my steeze so t#ey blew a #ole in t#e wall and t#rew me out of it and said go on get out of #ere you stupid dumb animal and t#en t#ey gave me two peanut butter sandwic#es and sent me out in2 t#e cold sad world an i #ad 2 squeeze rocks 2 get water 2 survive and i slept in a sad cold wet #ole in t#e ground]
wHILE i WON'T BE SHOWING THEM OFF, fOR SPOILERS REASONS, kNOW THAT THIS #mEGIDOmAY i HAVE BEEN MAKING USE OF TWO, vERY SPECIAL HOLES THAT, aRE CAPABLE OF TAKING A LOT, cOURTESY OF @ARACHNEANgAMBIT SO THANK YOU, fOR THE HOLES, #SUGGESTIVE
I aam not pointing fingers, but some trolls simply haave no claass #vaagueposting
Some rel8tionships just can't stand the test of time! Nothing wrong with 8r8king things off when they no longer serve you. Congrats @grimAuxiliatrix for cutting the knot! Human marriage pro8a8ly sucks eggs anyway!!!!!!!!
don’t worry kanaya we’ll fix you right up grab a baja blast hop on marioh kart with me and you’ll feel better
wow you are depressing
aNY TIME,
(e . e ❀)
>([w#at about a nebulous empty space in ya recuperacoon if u know w#at im sayin (sex #a#a) #nsfw]
oHH UMM, iF YOU NEED TO TALK i AM ALWAYS HERE, pAL,
sometimes im a little jealous by what the other mes have going on and sometimes i get kind of really worried!!! or concerned at the least but here i am sitting on my butt eating from a pizza chain that existed pre-apocalypse do i have anything going on? no! am i unsatisfied? no not really i am a little bored but thats better than having a demon in my brain at least??
1M L1173R4LLY M4RR1D3 4NND D34D H0W C4N1 571LL B33 3L1GBL4 F0R CU1LLGN 83FF00RU5 1F4 5UCUH 4 57UP1DFUCK1NGNG PL4N57FCK1NG 5HH17455 M3PR355 4NNDH3R FK1KC455 H1HGLBO0DD CUL7N4D 5H177
OH, DID YOU THINK I WAS JUST GOING TO POST REVIEWS FOR PIZZA? YOU FOOL. YOU FUCKING MORON. YOU FUCKING IGNORAMUS. OH MY SWEET SUMMER FUCKHEAD. NO, WE'RE MOVING ON TO BURGERS NOW. THE RIGHT BURGER IS SOMETHING THAT CAN RARELY BE PUT INTO WORDS AND MIGHT ONLY BE ABLE TO BE ACCURATELY DESCRIBED WHEN PUT INTO SONG. BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST. FOR YOU. YOU UNGRATEFUL LEECHES. THE METRICS FOR WHICH I ENJOY A BURGER ARE VERY SIMPLE. I LOOK FOR THREE THINGS, NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF BURGER IT IS: MOIST, FLAVORFUL MEAT, ENOUGH CHEESE TO PUT AN ESPECIALLY LARGE SHRIEKBEAST INTO THE GROUND AND ADEQUATELY TOASTED BUNS. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN THE COMMENTS TO SAY: HAHA, BUNS! HAHAHAHAHA, HE SAID MEAT! YES. THIS IS THE PRICE WE PAY WHEN TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING AS WONDERFUL AS THE HUMBLE BURGER. SOMETIMES SHIT IS GOING TO END UP SOUNDING REALLY FUCKING #SUGGESTIVE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT. SO HERE, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. YOUR TIME EVEN! MOIST MEAT. TOASTED BUNS. SUPPLE, DELICATE BREAD. OOEY, GOOEY CHEESE. WASN'T THAT FUNNY? AREN'T YOU JUST TICKLED FUCKING PINK AT THE VAGUEST BULLSHIT? I BET YOU ARE, YOU KNUCKLE-DRAGGING MOUTHBREATHER. ANYWAY, TODAY I VISITED A BURGER PLACE KNOWN AS TITO'S. HERE THEY SERVE A VARIETY OF BURGERS, INCLUDING THE FABLED 'SMASH PATTY', AND HERE'S WHERE OUR TASTES MAY DIFFER. THIS MAY BE THE PART WHERE YOU RAISE YOUR PITCHFORKS AND PUT ME TO THE FUCKING TORCH BECAUSE HOT TAKE? I DON'T REALLY LIKE SMASH PATTIES. I THINK THEY HAVE THEIR PLACE. I WOULDN'T TURN MY NOSE UP IF I FOUND ONE ON MY PLATE, LOVINGLY CRAFTED BY ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS WHO SAW FIT TO FEED ME. "YOU'RE SAFE NOW, MY CHILD", THEY SAY. "DON'T EVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" I REPLY. BUT YEAH I WOULDN'T *CHOOSE* A SMASH PATTY SO THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD TITO'S HAS OTHER OPTIONS. WHEN TRYING OUT A NEW BURGER PLACE I ALWAYS DEFAULT TO THEIR MOST BASIC BURGER AVAILABLE. HERE, THIS HAPPENED TO BE THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER. BULLY FOR FUCKING ME, THAT HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVORITE KIND. THIS DOUBLE CHEESE CAME WITH A SALAD TOPPING AND SOME OF THE HOUSE'S SIGNATURE 'BURGER SAUCE', WHICH LOSES POINTS BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN SHIT IS NAMED LIKE THAT. WHAT'S IN IT? WHAT DOES IT ENTAIL? IS IT SPICY OR SWEET? ROLL THE FUCKING DICE YOU IGNORANT FUCK! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNTIL ITS IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, ASSAULTING YOU WITH ITS AIRHEADS: WHITE MYSTERY. TO CUT A LONG DIATRIBE SHORT THOUGH THE SAUCE WAS FINE I THINK IT WAS A MUSTARD BASE WITH SOME SPICES. I GIVE THIS BURGER A SOLID 7/10. IT WAS A GOOD BURGER! I ENJOYED IT! TASTY ENOUGH FOR SURE AND I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO GOING TO THE PLACE AGAIN. THE MEAT WAS JUICY, AND HELD ALL THE GREASY SHIT THAT I LOVE. TITO, THE PROPRIETOR HIMSELF, WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO ACCOMMODATE MY REQUEST FOR EXTRA CHEESE AND BOY DID HE DELIVER- THAT SHIT WAS DRIBBLING ONTO MY SHIRT I FELT LIKE A WRIGGLER AT MCDISORDERS WHO'S LUSUS IS TOO BUSY TO ADEQUATELY TAKE CARE OF THEM. FAST, FRIENDLY SERVICE. NOW LET'S GO ONTO WHAT BRINGS IT DOWN IN THE SCORE. THE SALAD ITSELF WAS TASTY BUT *NOT* CRISP. WHEN I BITE INTO A PICKLE, I EXPECT IT TO CRUNCH, I EXPECT IT TO RESIST ME. I EXPECT IT TO BE A BRIEF, FLEETING FIGHT BETWEEN MY TEETH AND THIS OBSTINATE VEGETABLE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS ALL A BIT LIMP. AS BEFORE MENTIONED, I DON'T ENJOY A MYSTERY SAUCE- EVEN IF I ENDED UP LIKING IT, THE HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE OF BEING HESITANT TO TAKE A BITE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WHITE SHIT IS KIND OF PUT ME OFF A BIT. THE BIGGEST OFFENDER TO MY RATING SYSTEM WAS THE FACT THAT I HAD TO ORDER FRIES *SEPARATELY*. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHERE A BURGER DOESN'T *COME WITH* THE FRIES? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING THAT IT'S A SEPARATE CHARGE?! THIS SPITS IN THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE BURGER EXPERIENCE! A BURGER WITHOUT HER FRIES IS LIKE A THRESHECUTIONER WITHOUT HIS SICKLE. WHICH IS TO SAY: HE'S A VERY FUCKING PISS POOR EXCUSE FOR A THRESHIE TO BE QUITE HONEST!!! A DRINK AS A DISJOINTED PIECE I WILL ACCEPT. A DESSERT, TOO! HELL, I'LL EVEN ACCEPT SEPARATE ONION RINGS! BUT FRIES? THE FRIES?! IF THIS IS WHERE THE FUTURE OF THE BURGER RESTAURANT IS HEADED THEN I AM NOT FUCKING OPTIMISTIC. AS ITERATED BEFORE, 7/10. JOIN ME NEXT TIME WHERE I REVIEW A HOT DOG OR SOME SHIT WHO KNOWS! I SURE AS HELL WON'T UNTIL I GET TO THE RESTAURANT, SO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR NOSY, PROGNOSTICATIVE BULLSHIT! KARKAT OUT.
dawn "nonchalant" solace online and ready 2b fuckin awesome. what's up.
i have a new exciting dinner suggestion
do i need to come play chef for a bit?
UGGGHHGHGHGHGHHH. NO, I COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS, I KNOW I COULD HAVE. IF I'D HAVE JUST *BEEN* HERE. I CAN'T. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS RIGHT NOW.
NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FINE!!! HAS EVERYONE BUT ME SUDDENLY TAKEN AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO CRAZY TOWN?! INSANE ISLAND?! MORON MANSION?! MAYBE THAT'S THE NEXT #ALPHACRUISE!
DON'T YOU 'OH KARKAT' ME, MARYAM! THIS IS FUCKING DIRE! GOD FORBID I LEAVE TO TAKE ONE LAP AROUND THE PARK!
THIS IS WHY I NEVER LEAVE MY COMPUTER. YOU IGNORANT FUCKS TOLD ME TO GO '''TOUCH GRASS''' AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DO! JANE GETS HER SHIT ROCKED BY A GUY WHO'S MEANT TO BE *MY* RESPONSIBILITY NOW!! I'M NEVER LEAVING MY FUCKING RESPITE BLOCK AGAIN!
.png)
K--<i hope she misses me t- what the fuck
#notfunnay #didntlaugh #anthrax
i walked in on one of the worst things i couldve walked in on and now i need to go see if i can get my hands on a neuralyzer #vagueposting
I will continue my drawing later. Phasmophobia sings its siren song so sweetly and brother, I'm a pirate without a wife to return to.
Oh, even better. I was right to see the glass as half full then. Thank you.
i JUST DON'T, gET WHY EVERYONE FINDS ME SO, pITIABLE,,,
come onnnnnnnnnn kanaya you’re being sooooooo unfair i can’t even reap the rewards of my hard work what kind of example does this set for your darling little ten thousand grubbies
maybe i just value your perspective really high i dunno!
kanaya this isn't me putting myself down to be clear i think i'm pretty solid. i just mean i think if faced with "kanaya said" vs "jinx said" more people would listen to you. thank you though! gosh that means a lot.
sURELY NOT!
0h i'm the opp0site of against it. cl0wning on serket publicly was well w0rth the buttering up and gentle handholding it t0ok tw0 get her on here and i w0uld do the same t0 any other quad. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/bc8c2bf8b174.png
BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, I WANT TO MAKE A SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST FOR THE RECOMMENDATION. I DON’T NECESSARILY THINK A “THANKS” IS IN ORDER, BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING TO THANK AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF ME ABOUT FOR BRINGING ME A FIRSTHAND VIEWING OF A BLANK, BLAND, AFFECTLESS SPRAWL OF THE SUBURBS IN ALL THEIR CONFORMITY AND PHILISTINISM, BUT I DIGRESS. IF NOTHING, YOU CERTAINLY GRABBED ME BY THE FRONDS AND MADE ME HOLD ON TIGHT FOR THE RIDE. LET’S DIVE IN. VIVARIUM IS A 2019 FILM FROM DIRECTOR LORCAN FINNEGAN THAT I ONLY MANAGED TO MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO WATCH BY MYSELF OUT OF PURE SPITE, BECAUSE SO MANY OF YOU SAID “OH KARKAT, HE’S SO FUCKING WEAKSLIME, HE WON’T BE ABLE TO SIT WITH HIMSELF AND HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN THE WAY THAT A HORROR FILM DEMANDS”. HA! TO THAT I GIVE A BIG, WET, JUICY FUCK YOU, BECAUSE I DID IT. SO THERE. THIS IS A FILM ABOUT A COUPLE, GEMMA AND TOM, WHO ARE IN THE MARKET FOR A HOUSEBLOCK AND WIND UP VISITING THIS CREEPY REALTOR FOR THE DEVELOPMENT KNOWN AS YONDER. MARTIN THE REALTOR HAS SOME *REAL* PROBLEMS. HE SPEAKS IN UNUSUAL CADENCE AND UNCOMFORTABLE DICTION, EVEN FOR MY OWN STANDARDS NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HUMAN SPEECH. HE CONVINCES THEM TO VISIT THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND LOOK AT THEIR POTENTIAL BLOCK, BUT WHEN THEY TURN THEIR BACKS, HE VANISHES, COLLIDE-AND-SCAMPER STYLE. THE COUPLE TRIES TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE, BUT THEY KEEP WINDING UP BACK AT THE SAME HOUSE AND EVENTUALLY DECIDE TO JUST SPEND THE NIGHT. WHEN A HUMAN (?) WIGGLER IN A BOX SHOWS UP WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS “RAISE THE BABY AND BE RELEASED” THEY REALIZE THAT SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER AND THEY’RE TRAPPED IN SOMETHING FAR MORE INSIDIOUS THAN THEY CAN IMAGINE. THAT’S THE RUNDOWN, I’M NOT GOING TO GO THOUGH THE WHOLE PLOT WITH YOU, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. WHAT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS ALL OF THE CYCLICAL DREAD LACED THROUGHOUT, AND THE DEEP, CAVERNOUS PIT THAT VIVARIUM’S INNATE NARRATIVE OF PARASITISM LEFT IN MY BELLOWSAC. SEE: “A NICE WIDE GAPING HOLE FOR THE MOST DREADFUL AND HOLLOW FILM I’VE SEEN IN THE LAST HOWEVER MANY SWEEPS”. I GENUINELY MEANT THAT. THE VERY FIRST SCENE YOU’RE GREETED WITH IS A CLOSE UP SHOT OF AN INFANT TALONSCREECHER, A CUCKOO TO YOU HUMANS, INFILTRATING THE NEST OF A REED WARBLER. THE CUCKOO FORCES ITS WAY INTO THE NEST AND KNOCKS THE WARBLER’S EGGS OUT, THEN ACTS AS THE OFFSPRING OF THE WARBLER, FORCING IT TO ACT AS ITS MOTHER. THE HUMAN WIGGLER THAT GEMMA AND TOM HAVE FORCED UPON THEM HAS A PARASITIC RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HUMANS, JUST LIKE THE CUCKOO DOES WITH THE WARBLER; DEVELOPING AN ABILITY TO MIMIC THE HUMANS SPEECH PATTERNS, AND SCREECHING WHEN IT WANTS SOMETHING. SO, THEY’RE LOOPED INTO BEING TRAPPED IN THEIR OWN “NEST” OF SORTS, RAISING THIS FREAK OF NATURE FROM BIRTH TO “ADULTHOOD”… AND THEN WHAT? THE PROMISE OF FREEDOM THAT (SPOILER) NEVER COMES? THIS IS WHAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE PUSHER: THE UTTER DESPAIR AND PURPOSELESS LIFE THEY LEAD AFTER THE DISCOVERY THAT THEY’RE EFFECTIVELY TRAPPED AND HAVE THEIR HORNS HANDED TO THEM. THEY EAT TASTELESS FOOD, THEY TAKE CARE OF THE MUTANT FREAK BOY WHEN HE SCREAMS, TOM TAKES UP DIGGING A GIANT HOLE IN THEIR FRONT YARD IN HIS DELUSION THINKING HE’S GOING TO GET SOMEWHERE WITH IT. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO THROW AN ALLEGORY OF “PARENTHOOD IS PARASITISM” OR “SUBURBAN LIFE IS A LIVING HELL” AT IT IMMEDIATELY, WHICH IS (I GUESS) FAIR ENOUGH TO PULL THAT JUDGEMENT. GEMMA AND TOM ARE NOW DESTINED TO SERVE THE PARASITE THEY’VE BEEN DISEASED WITH UNTIL IT NO LONGER NEEDS THEM, IN A HOLDING TANK, GESTATING IT UNTIL IT’S READY TO FLY OUT OF THAT NEST. THE REALTORBABY ISN’T EVEN NECESSARILY THE ENEMY HERE, BECAUSE HE EQUALLY PLAYS THE ROLE IN THIS CYCLE THAT IS NECESSARY FOR HIS OWN SURVIVAL; HE’S TO BE RAISED BY PARENTS THAT AREN’T HIS, THEN TAKE THE PLACE OF “MARTIN” AS A SUCCESSOR, ONLY TO REPEAT THE EXACT SAME STEPS. AND WHAT IS THE GOAL OF ALL OF THAT? I MEAN, ALL OF THE ENTRAPMENT, THE PARALLEL DIMENSIONS OF INSTANCES JUST LIKE GEMMA AND TOM’S HAPPENING ALL OVER IN THESE HORRIBLE POCKET NEIGHBORHOODS THAT SIT ON THE EARTH LIKE A BLISTER. WHAT IS IT? WHAT’S THE MEANING? THINGS ARE JUST THE WAY THINGS ARE. THERE IS NO DEEPER MEANING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES LIFE JUST…IS. THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL POINTLESSNESS, THE MONOTONY, AND THE MYSTERIES THAT STAY UNSOLVED ARE WHAT KEEPS IT FROM LEANING TOO FAR INTO ANYTHING THAT GOES BEYOND NEBULOUS THEORIZING, AND ULTIMATELY IS WHAT KEEPS IT MEANINGFUL IN A WAY. MOVIES THAT HAND IT TO YOU TOO EASILY ARE A LITTLE GRUB-FISTED. THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING LOOSE ENDS THAT NEVER FULLY GET EXPLAINED OR SPELLED OUT, LIKE THE TELEVISION AND BOOK FULL OF NONSENSE. THE MOVIE IS STEEPED IN SYMBOLISM, SO ANYONE WATCHING COULD MAKE SOME SORT OF ARGUMENT FOR PERHAPS A LOSS OF NATURE, BEING SWINDLED INTO THINKING YOU WANT SOMETHING SO DESPERATELY WHEN IN REALITY IT’S A BIT OF A MONKEY’S PAW, ALLEGRIES ON CONSUMER-CAPITALISM. MORE, PROBABLY, EXIST TOO. YOU COULD THROW A MILLION LARGER THEORIES AT IT AND MORE, LIKE SPECULATING ABOUT THE POINT OF THE ALIEN REALTOR SPECIES GOALS AND TRYING TO STRING EVERY DETAIL TOGETHER, ULTIMATELY, IT SIMPLY SERVES TO ILLUSTRATE INCOMPREHENSIBLE DREAD. A LOT OF REVIEWERS ONLINE LIKE TO BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT HOW IT ENDED BADLY; DID YOU ALL HAVE YOUR SPONGES REPLACED WITH YOUR WASTE CHUTES? INCREDIBLE. I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT IT ENDED “BADLY”, THAT IT DIDN’T END WITH THEM ESCAPING. THE INESCAPABILITY IS WHAT MADE IT SO CAPTIVATING, AND I WON’T HAVE ANY OTHER WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPETS TELLING ME OTHERWISE. I THINK I’M GONNA NEED A HAPPIER ONE AFTER THIS THOUGH, BECAUSE I HAD A DAYMARE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING YESTERDAY. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/B6DB58F654A9.JPEG
People say I’m a self-insert Mary Sue slut, 8ut the truth is, I have 50 8illion quads, and they all love me, and you’re just mad that I’m having WAY more fucking fun than you EVER will. You know, what’s your damage? May8e you should try having 50 8illion quads too, 8ecause then you might not 8e such a salty jealous 8itch. I'm just sayin. #THISISREAL
WATCHING THIS ALL UNFOLD HAS BEEN LIKE BEARING WITNESS TO A SCUTTLELINE CRASH THAT DESPITE BEING PANTS SHITTINGLY PITIFUL IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO TEAR YOUR GANDERBULBS FROM. I DON'T THINK THE WORD 'SORRY' DOES JUSTICE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH TODAY.
yAY! i'M GLAD YOU GOT OVER YOUR FEAR OF, sURPRISE PARTIES, sTEYSI TOLD ME ALL ABOUT THAT WHEN i OBJECTED, oN THOSE GROUNDS, nOW COME HERE AND GIVE ME, a BIG HUG, aND ALSO PUT ON YOUR RECREATIONAL DUNCE CAP,
I apologize for the bizarre posts last night. I was "feeling it". And by it, I mean a migraine so head splitting I could only release the tension by sketching out the images that were plaguing my mind during it.
1t’s f1ne btw. 1 d1dn’t th1nk about the ce1l1ng p1llars of doom
GO1NG TO 4TT3MPT TO CL1MB DOWN TH3 CLOWN HORN P1L3, W1SH M3 LUCK! >:]
- Floor
You are right about each of those thing. Now I just need to convince 'in the moment' Rose to take that advice to heart.
i am kind of scared for tonight but it is something i have to do!!!!!! i am going to visit an old dead alternia with jinx and i dont quite feel ready for what it means for me but i have to do it
GETTING TO GO OUTSIDE DURING THE DAY AND NOT GET FRIED TO A CRISP IS KIND OF AWESOME, ACTUALLY.
KANAYA. KANAYA, LISTEN TO ME. I AM TELLING THIS TO YOU BECAUSE I *GET* YOU. IF I KNEW THAT MY SURVIVAL COUNTED ON WHETHER OR NOT MY SUPREME MOIRAILLEGIANCE SKILLS COULD GET ME OUT OF A LIFE-OR-DEATH-BY-SLOW-TURGID-SUFFOCATION-TYPE SITUATION? I WOULD BE NERVOUS, TOO. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER WHAT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT *MEANS.* MEN. BIG MEN. BIG, RIPPLING MEN, WITH THEIR SWEAT-DRENCHED PECS AND THEIR CHIN-STRAP BEARDS AND THEIR ALMIGHTY FUCKITUDINALLY REPELLANT *MANNISHNESS.* THERE WILL BE *MEN* IN YOUR CAVERN, KANAYA. THE CAVERN THAT *YOU* ARE IN. NEAR *YOU.* SAPPHO LESBOS *HERSELF* WOULD BE SAD. AND THE ONES THAT *AREN'T* AS MANNISH? THE ONES YOU MIGHT CATCH A RIPPLING, SWEAT-DRENCHED WINK FROM? THAT MIGHT BE ALL IT TAKES. TO MAKE YOU A *HIVEWRECKER.* AND YOU'RE BETTER TO THAT. YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOUR STUPID HUMAN WIFE. SO GET IN THERE. AND PALE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS.
HANG ON WAIT I'M SORRY I DID'T PROOFREAD THAT LAST PART OF THE CHITT BEFORE I SENT IT. NO. WAIT.
it didnt wwork by the wway he hates me
I do wish I had more interesting things to post about. Unfortunately I am as stagnant a Rose Lalonde as Paradox Space could possibly spit out.
im hiring an austin powers impersonator for my birthday this year
HAVE WE RULED OUT EMBARRASSMENT AS A FACTOR, YET. SURELY THIS FUCK-ENORMOUS WIGGLER FACTORY WANTS TO LEAVE AND HAVE SLUDGE FOR DINNER, OR SOMETHING.
Okay I'll do another confession. I am afraid to try and connect with any temporally or 8iologically troll connected to me. I wonder if anyone has figured out who I am or if I am content with trying to stay the anonymous writer? I'm too afraid to make a move just like I was too afraid to stray from societal conventions only escaping it in my dreams and writing.
#Confession: I'm highly insecure.
Why did no+ o+ne tell me it was called "emo+jis and emo+tes"? I've been calling them emo+ties! O+r the Jaundice creatures!
i just said "ta-da!!" to this girl after pulling it out. genuinely so embarrassed right now don't talk to me #nsfw
Kanaya I am so sorry to tell you this 8ut your wife is almost exactly as annoying a8out it as he is. I've had to tune 8oth of them out.
what the FUCK JUST LIKED AND PITIED MY CHITTS?
Well there is the fact that I have lost vision in 8oth of my eyes due to a f8teful accident involving numerous individuals with whom I am only loosely aligned, 8ut that tragedy certainly has not stopped people from insinu8ting that they'd like to examine my sockets with um. Interesting parts of their anatomy!!!!!!!! #nsfwe
Just when you thought that the timeline could not sink to new lows, something of *that* nature crosses the feed. 8ut it is alright. Fret not, my dears, for this sordid little num8er will not 8e ruining my shift this fine evening! I shall not 8e swayed 8y a mere piece of fiction written 8y a troll who has never seen a proper cullward. My dignity remains intact, despite this attempt upon it. As any good nursemaid would tell you, patient incontinence is the least of our worries when working with those who are sla8ridden. Often times, it is of much more concern to ensure that the troll in question does not develop sla8sores, or worse, develop an infection of their 8reathsacks due to inactivity, as can happen in cases such as was descri8ed on this truly sleazy post. Hair and horn care are often left to the wayside in lesser 8eforan wards than that which I oper8 within, and I can assure you that all patients have their toileting needs taken care of with all grace and dignity held at the forefront of everyone's minds. What I find to 8e most uncomforta8le here is the dual fetishiz8tion of the profession of nurse as well as the nature of a sla88ound cullee as a means to explore erotic power dynamics. In truth, there is quite a 8it of harassment that we medicullers experience at the hands of our patients! This is often overlooked due to the discrepancy of our 8lood colors, 8ut many cullees see cool 8looded professionals as a means to deflect the Imperial Mand8 of Culling from their situ8tion, a sort of seeking of special privilege 8eyond what others might experience or expect. As someone who has experienced this sort of harassment 8efore, I decry this piece of fiction as little more than smutty imaginings of a non-8eforan troll trying to capitalize on the weakness of a gr8 author in her st8 of illness. For shame!!!!!!!! #lighttriadempathy #8eforusculling #fetishization #tw:powerdynamics
Rosebot.
today hurts my brain.
That Mindfang feels the need to read so much into it feels like a failing on her part. Her own insecurities peeking through.
No one understands you quite like I do. The inherent grotesque beauty of a body stitched together, pieces incongruous, otherworldly Aphroditus...
well whenever you want to live a little let me know
i hate it when lusii are like “wtf don’t blow your vape smoke all over my grub” like bitch first of all it’s not smoke it’s some other shit plus scienstiffs don’t even know the ramifications of its hazards yet mf hoe
Don't Don't worry about it
And just like that my years of being around ch*ldren come back to haunt me Six become seven. I hate pattern recognition
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7d482cdf602e.png n0 lowballs i kn0w what i got
Add another
sometimes we dont even leave bodies behind. for long
daily consort fact: consorts do have blood but we dont drop anything when we die! so theres no benefit at all to killing us
HTTPS://CDN.1MGCH3ST.COM/F1L3S/3250D8413C7F.PNG #D4SHW4TCH1NG #D4SHSM3LL1NG #D4SHT4ST1NG
let's hear it. als0 why didn't y0u just dm me 0r call 0r s0mething.
Good morning. I trust your rest was more peaceful than my own. In any case, I wish you a pleasant day—and shall endeavor to follow suit.
brb changin the meanin of the phrase "sleepin vwith the fishes"
NO 1 L1K3 WH3N TH3Y F1GHT 1T SM3LLS L1K3 DOUBL3 CH3RRY >:]
alright but havve you considered the followwin i havve a cool as fuck vviolet streak in my hair an i hate wwomen
I'M NOT GETTING INTO A WHOLE ARGUMENT WITH YOU ON THE MAIN TIMELINE, JUST LET HER HAVE THIS. I'M SORRY, TAVROS, HE'S BEING A FUCKING IDIOT AS USUAL.
EVERYONE WITH A 'VERIFIED' CHECK MARK FROM OUR GROUP IS SUCH A FUCKING POSER. DIDN'T WE SPEND, LIKE, SEVERAL SWEEPS ESTABLISHING THAT NONE OF US ARE CAPABLE OF CLAIMING TO BE THE ONE TRUE VERSION OF ANY ONE OF US? THIS GOES FOR PAST/FUTURE/ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF ME, BY THE WAY! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JOKE OF THEM ALL CONSIDERING HOW MUCH TIME WE SPEND ARGUING WITH OTHER VERSIONS OF OURSELVES, AND YOU'RE PUTTING A PRETTY LITTLE CHECKMARK ON YOUR PROFILE AS IF YOU'RE SOMEBODY? SO FUCKING SELF CENTERED!
well you have no idea what i could be saying out loud and offline this sentiment is just one of many of those things
aww man come on
Any Tealbloods Know How To Get In Touch With The LockPickingLegislacerator Its Urgent Please The Shower Will Be Cold Soon
NO. CANT MAKE MATRIACH UPSET.
Sighs wistfully as I sit by a cozy book nook, looking out of my window at the rain with some form of deep longing that leaves me looking somber. #Yearning
Troll Mitski, Only You Understand Me. #thedeal
prolly like “mmm mmm yummy sludge so fucking scrumptious and epic i legit can’t wait to be the sludge person of society” i’d say the intent is pretty much the same
i’m always saying this
infront of you there's two piLLs. one wiLL make you wake up and get a bunch of knowLedge or smth. the other wiLL give me $5
im so excited for #megidomay i hope i get a lot of tributes and yes that kind (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, #nsfw, archive rating: E)
I may have made what can only be aptly described as something of an "oopsie". https://i.imgur.com/i6hSoQj.png #WitchChittr
https://i.postimg.cc/jjBPBJ7z/image-2026-04-26-114624398.png
SLUDGE > TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR. THOUGH
see wwhat i mean kan this is a problem theyre gobblin dowwn panrot genslop in equal measure to that nutritious sludge you feed em
Young wigglers make for excellent paper weig)(ts and )(orrible laundry maids! But I don't mind taking longer to pin up t)(e s)(eets to dry w)(en t)(ey look so enamored by t)(e billowing fabric 3X)
[ E R R O+ R 2 3 4 4 4 6 ; VIA PARADO+XA FUTURA DO+LO+RO+SA ] YO+U ARE TO+O+ BLINDED BY YO+UR HATRED TO+ SEE IT, he screams. His passio+nate desire fo+r a better wo+rld has been burned away by the iro+ns. His sweeps o+f rage, so+ carefully hidden fro+m the masses, leaks o+ut. He is my so+n. I lo+ve hi greatly. O+f co+urse he is enraged. Ho+w co+uld he no+t be? YO+U ARE NO+T WO+RTH MY FINAL BREATH O+F LO+VE, YO+U DO+ NO+T DESERVE MY FINAL FUCKING MERCIES. YO+U WILL ALL BURN WITH ME. Arro+ws have been lo+dged in his side fo+r so+me time. Their attempts to+ silence him. Despite this, he still lives, he still burns. So+me piece o+f me expects him to+ live fo+rever. Fo+r the first time in sweeps, I pray. So+mething bubbles under his chitin. I can feel it co+ming. Clammy fro+nds press tight against my cheeks as they fo+rce my head fo+rward, as they fo+rce me to+ lo+o+k. It matters no+t. I am already lo+o+king. I will stay with him until the end. I see the mo+ment he is freed. His Vast Expletive hangs o+ver the cro+wd. The silence is o+nly bro+ken by my daughter's so+bs. #viado+lo+ro+sa #easter2026
Nudity and lewdness are lo+vely, entertaining, and appreciated. All bo+dies sho+uld be celebrated. But yearning and the emo+tio+ns that co+me fro+m co+nnectio+n are even mo+re beautiful.
@grimAuxiliatrix I am en route to the brooding caverns. Do I need. I don't know. A poncho. Is it going to be sticky. Or slime-ish. Should I change out of my suit. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d494e2a4b84f.jpg
૮₍⑅´꒳`₎ა hi⁀hello⁀yes⁀i⁀ha(V)e⁀a⁀deli(V)ery! down⁀here! yes⁀hi! hello⁀miss⁀ca(V)ern⁀matriarch⁀lady⁀i⁀ha(V)e⁀a⁀full⁀log⁀of⁀decorati(V)e⁀cushions? pre⁀fluffed! please⁀sign⁀here.
but truthfully what i hate m0re than pe0ple actually rec0gnizing me is pe0ple wh0 think i'm tr0ll 2-d fr0m apebeastz and ask f0r an aut0graph.
my dad eat a lettu¢e but he don't make $ound$
I am proud to announce that I will be THE FIRST human interloper to set foot within the brooding caverns of Earth-C. This was mostly borne of olfactory curiosity, but I shall keep you, the curious public, posted on my findings.
REPLYING TO THIS NOW THAT I'M BACK AT MY HIVE AND SIX DIEBUPROFENS TO THE GRAVE. ASHEN TRIANGLE DESERVES AN HONORABLE MENTION. I AM EXERCISING THE JUDICIOUS RESTRAINT — WHICH THIS SITE FRANKLY DOES NOT DESERVE — TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE A BIAS, BECAUSE ASHEN TRIANGLE WAS MY *FIRST* TROLL WEEZER SONG. THAT SAID, WHAT A METEORIC IMPACT IT MADE. IT HAS IT ALL. THE CLASSIC SOUND. THE UNCOMFORTABLE LYRICS. THE MOST MASCULINE FORM OF LONGING OF THE PATHETIC TAXONOMIES — OF PINING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL CATEGORICALLY NEVER SHOW INTEREST WITH YOU, AND BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT IT ON STAGE WITH A BUZZHARP. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG. IT'S PAINFULLY TOO-HONEST TROLL RIVERS CUOMO AT HIS FINEST. IF YOU LOADED "ASHEN TRIANGLE" AND "ACROSS THE VOID" INTO A GUN AND FIRED IT AT ANYONE WITH EVEN A FLEETING CONCEPT OF SOCIAL PROPRIETY, YOU WOULD SEND THEM STRAIGHT TO HELL. TEN MIDDLE FINGERS OUT OF TEN. I LOVE ASHEN TRIANGLE.
O-> Tho+sands O+f Babies !!
Fun fact: I almost named my kid Melinoe, but Kanaya talked me out of it.
1TS C4LL3D L1V1NG 1N TH3 P4NST3M R3NT FR33 M1SS GR1M4UX1L14TR1X
thats the effect i typically have on women morbid fascination and disgust but remember block equals i win lololololol
A nurse? A nurse???????? Seriously????????
!!!I dON'T KNOW WHAT A CUNTAGON OR MOTHERSHIP IS BUT YOU SENT THE dRONES INTO THE NOOKBURBS SO MURdEROUS MESSIAH!!!
Another shoot this morning. I'm reticent to attach the release of the images to profanity, but per my social media manager, they "helmed the mothership straight into the cuntagon." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/04a43867d9bf.png
IN HINDSIGHT, I TOOK THE COWARD'S WAY OUT OF THE TIERMAKER TREND, BUT I WOULD STILL FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO USE THE PROVIDED FORMAT TO RANK THE CREATOR PANTHEON, SO I AM USING THIS FORMAT INSTEAD. https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/13/image_2026-04-13_115114010.png
IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS. WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL FINDING IT? WHO THE FUCK IS SENDING IT TO THEM? WHY IS MINE THE ONLY LIST ANYONE HAS DECIDED TO TAKE AT FACE FUCKING VALUE? WHAT IF I BLEW ALL OF US UP? #BOMBTHREAT
Not now Sweetie, mommy hath imbybed too much coffee with Hoofbeast Lacrate and needs to go #Die on the loadgaper.
out of R-ESP-ECT and nofin eelse for egbuoy / bert (dependin) I vowed to not b mean to no john june jinx jill etc or jane for 1 night
what why are we coralline boat not bein mean 38?? u doin ok other me
sorry boat the silence tonite its R-E-ELY hard not bein mean
idk why youd think that im serious as a scienstiff participating in society is so mainstream
ok ok ok just for you well i dont wanna put you straight into boiling water so itd be beginner stuff basically just imagine if you did my day to day living in the junkyard climbing out from under the tarp when the sun sets mountain dew 2 liter and mysterious takeout breakfast playin katana zero on the cracked screen grubtendo switch sticking it in my moirails mouth whenever it runs out of battery that sort of thing
the mother grub appears to enter seasons a malaise quite often did she go through a breakup recently
i fear that every little thing i d𖦹 is a blasphemy at this p𖦹int
Idk why I 2aid 2orry, I m3ant accurat3.
Not 3v3n 2orry. I tak3 back callin u coward dud3 you w3r3 2o right
<-|--|~~ mrS maryam you conciliatoryreacted my chit what doeS it mean iS that a bad quiz did i make a miStake.
<-|--|~~ what doeS creative omega mean.
:O? i'm aLl sCrAtChInG My wIcKeD PaN AbOuT ThIs, SiStEr.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c18d22db47cb.png https://youtube.com/shorts/Aq3OQrPcVV4Y #eridanwweek #imcoming #bouncingonit #iwwantcandy
Soon to reveal the belated finale #eridanweek salutations from a very special guest. Look forward to it.
OHHH NO, I'M SUDDENLY FEELING ALL KINDS OF LOOSE-LIPPED! IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CONVINCE ME, PERHAPS WITHIN THE NEXT MESSAGE, I MIGHT BE FORCED TO TELL EVERYONE ON THE PUBLIC FORUM EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COFFEE MACHINE THAT ONE TIME AND HOW EXACTLY IT GOT FILLED WITH A BUNCH OF MYSTERIOUS FUCHSIA FLUID, THUS RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE FOREVER.
SWEATPANTS ARE NOT THAT BAD, YOU'RE BEING SO GOD DAMN DRAMATIC ABOUT THIS. DON'T PRETEND LIKE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU PALLING AROUND THE METEOR IN YOUR SUNDAY WORST IN SOME MORE HARROWING HOURS OF OUR JOURNEY HERE. I COULD BRING UP RECEIPTS THAT WOULD RUIN YOU, MARYAM!
OH. GOD, IS THAT ALL? YOU MADE ME THINK SOMEONE WAS GOING TO DIE! I'M SURE YOU CAN SURVIVE ME WEARING COMFORTABLE CLOTHING. DON'T SPIKE MY FUCKING BLOOD PRESSURE LIKE THAT!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I ACTUALLY TRUST TO TELL ME THAT AND FOR IT TO NOT BE A HUGE BOLD FACED LIE. SO IT'S REAL THEN? I CAN ACTUALLY FUCKING RELAX FOR FIVE MINUTES? I FEEL LIKE I JUST HAD ROCKS REMOVED FROM MY SHOULDERS. OTHER THAN THE TROLL MITSKI INCIDENT, HOW ARE THINGS DOWN IN THE BROODING CAVERNS? IS THE MOTHER GRUB ACCLIMATING WELL TO EARTH-C'S HABITAT?
ooh i should make some! thanks for the lunch inspiration.
OH SHIT, WE HAVE A MOTHER GRUB SET UP IN THE FUTURE? THAT'S GOOD NEWS, I GUESS YOU MANAGED TO GET EVERYTHING ALL SET UP. GENUINELY REFRESHING TO HEAR WE DON'T INEXCUSABLY FUCK IT ALL UP A SECOND TIME, THANK YOU.
I'M SO MAD THAT I CAN ONLY LIKE THIS ONCE. WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THE GREATEST FUCKING BLTS THIS PLANET HAS EVER SEEN.
LAST NIGHT'S EXECUTION WAS A BEAUTIFUL DISPLAY OF TRUE CONTEMPT. IT WAS A VISION OF THE SOCIETY TO COME: WHERE STATE VIOLENCE IS USED NOT FOR THE SAKE OF A RIGID CASTE SYSTEM BUT ONLY WHEN IT'S REALLY FUNNY. #ERIDANWEEK
Yes, fairly often. I would say at least twice a night, and on some nights several times. I fear it's a fairly common reaction when one is surrounded by trolls who look to you as a beacon of stability.∞
i DON'T KNOW, wHATEVER YOU, mAY MEAN,
dELETE POST,
HTTPS://THUMBS.DREAMSTIME.COM/B/MUSCULAR-BULL-BASEBALL-PLAYER-MASCOT-POWERFUL-ILLUSTRATION-WEARING-STRIPED-JERSEY-HOLDING-BAT-BLACK-WHITE-STYLE-392250923.JPG #tOUGHgUY
:33 < that is pawsome to hear!! :33 < conquer the day like are big ferocious beast! XDD < RAAAAAAAAWR!!! :33 < except you are not a big meowbeast fan for obvious reasons so you can pick another kind of animal scr33ch :33
▼▼not if our matron has anything to say about it she loves this boring shit▲▲
yEAH! tHE, mOTHERGRUB SAID SO, aLSO, eVEN, sHE LIKES, yOUR LITTLE GOOFS,
▼▼▼uuuuuughhhhhh▲▲▲
i THINK, mOST WOULD NOT REALLY, eXPECT IT FROM YOU BUT, yOU ARE PRETTY FUNNY, wHEN YOU TRY, i WOULD SAY,
Tantalizing new evidence suggests that I will be free tonight from 6PM to 9PM to be burned at the stake.
A bit rainy today. Excellent weather for pouring over cases.
▼▼▼gog just got reminded that the #cloistermeet isn't far away▲▲▲ ▼If i stab myself in the foot i wonder if I'll be allowed to stay in our cloister instead▲
oH, oKAY }:) i'M GLAD WE'RE, JOKEY AND JOVIAL TYPE, fRIENDS, yOUR COMPANIONSHIP DOES, mEAN A LOT TO ME,
oH WOW, i DO THAT, tOO, wE'RE LIKE, tWINSIES,
8=D < Hmm... Towards true freedom, perhaps.
8=D < I am glad you enjoy it. It is nice. Idyllic. I like to imagine I am running with them in their herd. Then, sleep is not far to follow.
AND THANK FUCK FOR THAT.
WHEN YOU'RE GETTING NEEDLESSLY WORKED UP ABOUT SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO AGGRESSIVELY CHANT "WHO CARES WHO CARES WHO CARES WHO CARES" UNTIL THE MOMENT SAFELY PASSES YOU BY.
it kind of sounds like you are going to be awake anyway? if it's something you would like to discuss with someone in private my inbox is always open!
I see. Well, if you need a sympathetic ear, I would be willing to listen.∞
I am often asked if I could forgive even the Empress herself for her part in the suffering of our people. What I think we should be asking, instead, is whether the Empress is capable of redemption. Yes. A thousand times yes. I believe that there is no troll beyond redemption. Were the Empress to walk up to me and ask for guidance in trying to be better, who would I be to deny her that? But she has to want it. We have to want it. You have to want it. That is the difference, the defining factor, at the end of the night. We cannot save those who dig their heels in and refuse to be saved.
What concerns you, exactly?∞
AFRAID OF, tHE SKY? OR MAYBE, fRIENDLY OF, tHE GROUND }:)
OCCASIONALLY I WILL GET THE URGE TO DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY PETTY AND MESSY, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM 12 SWEEPS OLD. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM INDEED STILL A VERY PETTY TROLL, BUT I DO EXERT THE BARE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF EFFORT NOT TO START USELESS FIGHTS OVER MADE UP PROBLEMS.
8=D < Would you like a calming video to help you sleep? I could give you one of mine. 8=D < Here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59h47HoKINE
Working on it. #MaleLivingSpaces
In an attempt to brave the horrors of the night time such as groaning green men and rattling piles of bones, I have erected a temporary shelter. Now, you may be saying "Calder. This looks like shit" And yes. You would be correct. However, the Bizkantine empire was not erected in a day and I will need the materials gathered in here to build my castle anyway. This project seems it will be a long term endeavor. Please continue to lend me your support. Thank you. #CalderPlaysMinecraft https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c0e93bedf89a.PNG https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d76a94864b90.PNG
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I AM GOING TO RESPECTFULLY DENY ALL ALLEGATIONS.
So+mething feels terribly wro+ng.
Do+ yo+u ever spend yo+ur waking nights languid with kno+wledge yo+u feel yo+u sho+uld no+t have? Info+rmatio+n that feels so+ distant and fo+ggy it co+uld be a daymare, no+t fact?
[ E R R O+ R 2 6 3 6 4 1 ; VIA PARADO+XA FUTURA DO+LO+RO+SA ] So+mething has felt wro+ng fo+r many nights. He has no+t been his usual self. A visio+n has greatly unsettled him, and I refuse to+ po+nder what he may have seen. A piece o+f me kno+ws exactly what will happen. Haven't I always kno+wn? Hadn't She to+ld me? Was his no+t his fate, fro+m the mo+ment he was hatched? All I have do+ne is pro+lo+ng the inevitable. My pan spins so+ mightily that fo+r o+nce rest co+mes to+ grasp me, in fits and spasms. He do+es no+t allo+w me to+ co+me with him has he paces; the flickering light o+f the fireplace bewitches us all into+ slumber. Will yo+u no+t stay awake with me? He asks o+f us. O+f co+urse we will, we tell him. We lo+ve him greatly. But again we sleep; o+ur wipe o+f parano+id displacement has caught up to+ us. I kno+w what will happen, he finally says to+ us. I have seen and been to+ld. Yo+u are to+o+ blinded by o+ur bo+nd to+ see it. No+nsense, we say, exchanging o+ur distressed glances. We wo+uld never allo+w that to+ happen. #viado+lo+ro+sa #easter2026
I'M GLAD YOU THINK SO. OF EVERYONE WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS, YOU WERE THE ONE I WAS MOST WORRIED MIGHT FIND THIS DISTASTEFUL. IT'S A RELIEF TO SEE MY WORRIES WERE UNFOUNDED.
It was incredi8ly difficult to hold my tongue with the sheer amount of nonsense going on, 8ut I managed to do it! So, that's something, I suppose. I'll have to think up an *actual* joke next year.
Happy STUPID #wizardwednesday at #eridanweek. I am reluctantly participating in the costume theming of the evening at the behest of @tipsyGnostalgic#2248 This hat makes me look like a gnome. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e3ef4ea1b9df.png
No no, let them wr1te the1r spawn’s names on the1r foreheads or someth1ng. That would be extremely enterta1n1ng. 𓂃۶ৎ
I'm not gonna lie this sounds like shell to deal wwith. Codspeed.
blocking people is not proving them right! i just do not want jerks to participate in my life and spread slander for no reason! especially not someone lying about having cheated with my wife!
see!!! what did i tell you guys?
OKAY, EVERYONE. THE VERY LONG AWAITED SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF: THE MOIVE (AND BASICALLY ALL OF THE OTHER ONES TOO) REVIEW IS UP TO READ. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. HTTPS://LETTERBOXD.COM/CGENETICIST/FILM/SWEET-BRO-AND-HELLA-JEFF-THE-MOIVE/
9n an unrelated n9te, n9t inspired 6y any s9rt 9f recent events, I want t9 remind any9ne practicing #celi6acy t9 remain steadfast in y9ur c9nvicti9ns, n9 matter what s9rt 9f temptresses cr9ss y9ur Chittr feed 9r y9ur thinkpan. And remem6er, stay away fr9m Eridan Week. #AntiEridanWeek #N9thingWeek
I'd like to make a formal disclaimer that Macro Cullsmos is distancing itself from #MacroMarch and a certain other associated hashtag. Do no use the hashtags in relation to us or our company. Especially the other one. We are no longer affiliated. Don't say the words. Do NXT say them. They have been #Banned. Thank you. #MacroCullsmos - MC Oleana
If there's a Pickle to be grasped and turned over at #eridanweek, rest assured--#ImComing!
wHAT?
i ALSO, lOVE wEEN, i LIKED THE wEEN AT THE END, oF THE sPONGEBOB mOVIE,
“#imcoming to #eridanweek“
not in your torment!! i want to help you if i can, i mean it.
thats gonna need to get majorally
does it involve sludge
my greatest pride is that look ppl give me when they peep my name. the gears turning behind their peepers putting their neurons to use as they try to make sense of it. "how on gods green earth are you a vantas" type beat
aw yeah i havent lost my touch https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_0359.jpeg
i love my horsey and my horsey love me.
お母さ一一一一ん。@BLACKESTQUASAR STOP LIKING AND PITYING MY CHITS. YOU ARE FUCKING UP. MY EVIL KEIKAKU. TO BECOME MOST HATED BITCH. ON THIS WEBSITE. AND ALSO. IN THE UNIVERSE. #KEIKAKUMEANSPLAN
erisolsprite i am going to get you count your days
iS SHE STILL, nERVOUS, iF IT IS NOT, pRYING TOO MUCH INTO, hER PERSONAL, aFFAIRS, tO ASK?
8-> #RATIOCOIN!
OBJECTION! ive actually been trying this cool new life hack my friend @carbonatedCaravanserai recommended where you don't sleep at all
wHY CAN YOU, sEE IT, wHEN i CAN'T? tRY, sENDING IT AGAIN, mAYBE?
LET'S ALL RANK PEOPLE BY THE COLOR OF THEIR BLOOD. AND THE STEREOTYPES ATTACHED TO THEM. #YAY
wELL, nO, iT DIDN'T HELP,
Just saw somebody get evaporated by a food service drone for ordering a water cup and filling it with a carbonated beverage. #RookieMove
i TRIED, sQUINTING, tO SEE IF THAT WOULD HELP,
cORRECT,
>([you got me fucked all t#e way up puttin not only crunc# berries in mediocre but mini w#eats in pretty good t#is is so fucked]
*Inconspicuously stands in the middle of the room* Ahem. Red is sus.
I'm only aψake because my maid pulled me out of my cupe by my leg. She's a real one.
tRYING SOMETHING,,,
,,,,,,,,
im really proud of you for taking some time during your break to actually enjoy yourself rather than thinking about doing more work sollux! 0v0
tryiing two fiigure out how two tackle thii2 web2iite wiithout ju2t... 2noopiing at the codiing... anyway. hello.
I don't know if I'm losing my mind or if it's some weird magic thing, but the mirrors are doing that weird thing again where I look like someone else. Any tips?
i'll be real besties and baddies, I fell asleep.
nO,
wAIT, hOLD ON, wHAT IF i,,,
nO,
SNEET
its just me n my gun against the world
i DON'T KNOW,
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” *Excerpt from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
sigh looks like jack cant just admit hes a dork and is projecting again smh
War, has changed.
i AM PROUD OF HER FOR, sETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES,
if there are any rainbowdrinkers on the timeline who would be willing to share their experience i have some questions regarding some rumors and in order to provide the most accurate portrayal in my fictions i would like to have these tropes either confirmed or denied thank you ^0^ (tags: rainbowdrinker, venom, arousal venom, blood color taste, flesh temperature, retracting fangs, anatomy, #nsfw, archive rating: M)
POINT OF ORDER! new drinking game take a shot every time you hear "hearsay is an out of court statement being used for the truth of the matter asserted" #law
SIDEBAR! sure sure we've all heard the "look at my legislacerator dawg i am going to die" but be so honest. look at my client. how is any of that my fault
Careful of entering a religion which appeals to your Mirth, for they wear painted disguise for a reason and under its pallid stain is only Misery.
Absolutely shellacked off two rounded teaspoons of Metamucil.
Don't apologize damn it. You don't owe one. You're not the one who fucked up here, Kanaya. I'm the idiot who 8lew you off even though I knew how you felt. Who disregarded your feelings even though I knew damn well you were watching. Any mucking a8out with it you did was well deserved after the 8ullshit I pulled.
Well, I'm going to sleep. Good light or wh8ver
D --> #CartingInMoreOil
D --> #TowellingUp%essOil
If you're. Still reading, then. Uh. That's. What I wanted to say.
Just like.
Knowing how you felt a8out me and totally a8using those feelings to manipul8 you into doing things for me.
And for. Like. Getting almost everyone killed.
Say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for. 8eing literally the worst ever.
And, like. Among those mistakes was. Well, quite a few directed your way, so. I wanted to.
So, as you know, I spent a few sweeps in what I can only descri8e as hell, and I had a lot of time to re-experience every single mistake I ever made. Which. Was a lot. I made a lot of mistakes.
The liquor store is closed. Fuck. Do I go to the bar for this.
wwhat do you mean theres been a flash crash wwhat the fuck am i supposed to do wwith all these ericoin quarter zips
OKAY. CRISIS NARROWLY AVERTED. MAYBE I JUMPED THE GUN BY GETTING SOLLUX TO TRY AND RUN A DIAGNOSTIC ON MY HUSKTOP. HE DEFINITELY SAW THE YAOI I WAS READING.
🎦 NUFFIN!!!! im a born entertainer baby i do this for the peepz who luv to see it!!!!
That's the wonder of being a robot. You're missing out -Sent from my Paul
i¶dont¶usually¶wear¶what¶i¶sew¶but¶i¶love¶this¶shirt¶so¶much¶selling¶it¶would¶be¶a¶crime¶against¶common¶sense https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/27/RAKNI-MILASKA.png
Just when one is to 8elieve the Orphaner is at the 8ottom of the 8arrel, he is smitten with the magical leprechauns.
nAmE: mOtHeR FuCkEr
>([flexin ur #ealt#y relations#ip on t#e rest of us c#uds or somet#in]
Peo+ple are o+ften to+o+ intimidated by beauty to+ appro+ach fo+r even so+me casual go+ssip, unfo+rtunately.
NORM4LLY YOU 1NS3RT YOURS3LF SO 3FFORTL3SSLY 1NTO S1TU4T1ONS OF 3V3RY F1B3R TH4T W3 K1ND OF JUST FORG3T 1T 1S 4N OPT1ON >;]
Ḃ̶͚U̶̱͂Ṫ̷̖ ̷̺͘Ȉ̵̠ ̵̣͗Ẇ̷͍Ȉ̵̢L̴̻͝L̸͖̅ ̸̻̈́M̶̘̓I̸̯͝Ş̵̾S̴̜̓ ̷̰͑T̸̔ͅH̵̹̓Ḙ̵̅ ̶̮̋M̴͉͒Ö̴̺́R̴̝̀P̸͔̉H̶̲́E̷̛̜ ̴͉̈S̵͓̔Â̵̡L̶̘̋E̸̪̚ ̸̠̀
🎦 HYPE TRAIINNNNNNNN 4 every five subs the stream goes as long as it takez for me 2 blend and eat another cactus
Ṅ̸͕O̵͙̎ ̷̡̈I̶̞̊M̶̡͝ ̶̰̅N̵̘͆Ō̶͚Ṫ̸̮ ̴̻̂P̸̛̩L̴̼̆A̷̟̿Y̴͓͠I̶͙̿N̴͓̓G̸̰̋ ̶̯̒O̶̖̚Ṉ̴́ ̴̯̐Ṁ̴̖Y̷̝͘ ̸̧͌P̵̧̑H̵̛̯O̵̩̍N̸̛̺É̷̜
i BELIEVE, iN YOU,
ARE YOU GIVING YOURSELF A PEP TALK?
</3: Well Perhaps Its Not Such A Bad Thing Darling
I don't t)(ink you can. 38(
for t+e sake of curiosity s+ow of +ands w+o believes rainbowdrinkers are real
A barkbeast being treated with dignity, moments before being sent to the laser eXplosion chamber. #Insprational #Heartwarming #AnimalCruelty #Free #CrueltyFree https://files.catboX.moe/X8jksa.jpg - MC Oleana
D --> I am monitoring you
hello evverypony! i hope evveryone's day started off flippin gorgeous. here's howw i wwoke up- wwith my bestest buddy right in my face! don't be jealous of his wwhiskers..... he just #wwokeuplikethis! followw me for more fun lusus updates! #zoology #furryfriends #mornings #sealsneedcoffeetoo https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c129f34f9ce6.png
Fucked up in the clu8 thinking a8out the fall of the roman empire
Chittr h/\tes my im/\ges for some fucking re/\son///
Fun s.o°da fact: Burping is gr.o°ss but it's .o°kay if y.o°u d.o° it a little bit and c.o°ver y.o°ur m.o°uth it is just an.o°ther .o°ne .o°f th.o°se yucky things that pr.o°ves y.o°u are alive but c.o°ver y.o°ur m.o°uth st.o°p being gr.o°ss I d.o°n't want t.o° .o°utright ban burping at my stands but this is getting t.o° be t°o.o° much
Dunno How Jades Do It, I Think If I Saw A Grub Irl I'd Scream
>([guys w#y does it kinda #urt w#en i pail]
I haven’t been made a member.
I really ought to stop burning the midnight oil as much as I have been.
1M SO T1R3D 1 COUL
Trolls sometimes ask me how I can purport to love and care for even the most violent of the Empire's enforcers, and to that I say; How can I not? To love only those that love you is folly, for even a selfish and hateful person can do that. To do good to only those that do good to you is all too simple. Life is complex, and so too is my love for it and all its children.
OOC // ok you people made me oocpost for the first time which i wasnt going to do and wont do again if i can help it but the person being referenced about "being sensitive about doubles" is currently at work but would like to pass along that they were making that comment 100% ic and do not care about doubles LOL. they are not kinning and do not actually care and are totally ok with doubles. but now that their comment in-character has been misconstrued as like REAL WORLD GRIEF somehow i'm just issuing a small statement on their behalf if someone was offended by an IC comment made by a character you DO have the right to block them rather than vagueposting them multiple times ooc. not encouraging counter-hate back to those people cause i dont think any of us give a fuck but. just reminding you thats an option LOL
Midblood Princess or BlueBlood Fraud? Culture is not a costume, Trollpell Roan! https://i.postimg.cc/mrvM6ZTP/6C2BECCE-53A6-46C1-AC72-B2C450B474E7.jpg
bitches always think they can g0 band f0r band with me when it c0mes t0 kill c0unt well why d0n't y0u c0me back t0 me when y0u 0bliquely cause the destructi0n 0f an entire planet and then we can talk.
yOu bEtTeR Be. BeTtEr bE OoZiNg sTrAiGhT GrAtUiTy oUt tHaT MoThEr fUcKiN WoRd cHuTe yOu gOt, SiStEr
Please do not try anything. https://i.imgur.com/rNhwiDa.png
One can of Pink Monster and two cigarettes, is that enough?
G99d M9rning, n99n, 9r evening. Please make sure y9u eat s9mething t9day.
d --> pleas do not invoke his name i am freaking out
LET'S BOTH DO OUR BEST ON MINIMUM SLEEP ʔ-_͒-ʕ ʎ
My so+n had a smudge o+n his expressio+n plateau thro+ugho+ut to+night's entire sermo+n. O+nce I had no+ticed it, it to+o+k nearly all my strength to+ no+t co+rrect it immediately. Just o+ne swipe o+f the o+ppo+sable pro+ng, perhaps so+me talk blaster lubricant, and it wo+uld be so+rted.
Why. #dashwatching
The old ball and chain said no more dog boy pics on main cause I’ve gotta go to bed or something. It’s like she doesn’t want me to find a man or successfully soft launch my OnlyStans. #heldback #divorcedbutmarried #stillnotgay #mankissier #nsfw #influencer
Typing with a 8ionic arm is difficult.
ask them again in five business days
I nearly died.
And Then They Apologized For It And Were Never Heard From Again
wait.
IF I DON'T KNOW YOU, DON'T CHANGE THAT. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU. I'M AT KNOWING CAPACITY. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME. FOLLOW FOR MORE
If s9me9ne takes 9ffense t9 my chits, they are welc9me t9 address it with me pu6lically 9r in private. I value 9pen and h9nest c9mmunicati9n and w9uld never st99p s9 l9w as t9 passive aggressive arguing 9n the timeline. 9ut until then, I see n9 pr96lem with venting a min9r frustrati9n like this.
:33 < rechitt if you fight fur bloodclan! https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yc-awIc-z8g/sddefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCIAFEOAD8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGH8gEygXMA8=&rs=AOn4CLDuvGg6M-437fPzX8uOurBVVKoh6Q
[Gratitude] Okay I've been using the tips I've been getting, [Thought] I think I have a good look going that will avoid suspicion. [Timeline] Be back (hopefully) soon with a burger.
D —>It is never too late or early to enjoy some tea or coffee. D —> Hopefully everyone is enjoying themselves today.
>DATABASE DATABASE >JUST LIVING IN THE DATABASE >WOWOW
(• - •) https://file.garden/acWgNwdUAVXBJ4PK/Chittr%20Micaia/churchonfire.png Hello. Just found out I was being panwashed by my closest friend. That sucks. Ramzez, if you are reading this, you suck. I set the threater on fire in retaliation though. Have fun with that. Anyways. If anyone likes flowers or art, hmu. ⚘
her music speaks to the deep and complex feelins of loneliness i feel wwithin
Thank you for saving me from posting this.
I suppose I'm obligated to utilize the new functions of the site as they're bestowed upon the userbase. All I really have on hand are unsolicited messages from my other platforms. This piece was an artistic rendering of my infantile delivery unto Earth-A, entitled "Heiress Never Cry." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a34387f29476.png
guycsz i think cszomeone zcstepped on my lusczuczs their iszc a weird brown zsctain in the loungeblock and hezcs a oted love of cocoa cszweetzsc this is just a peek into my twisted fuckimg pan follow for more at @splendidSophist
i just want to get dicked down again :o/ #nsfw
i thought she threw up!!!!
wait a minute do the symbols actually matter i was hitting hearts like an updoot on reddit this is fucked
THAT FEELS A BIT FORWARD.
Im confuzzled on the ins and outs of these silly reactions i just give a heart to each and every post that tickles my fancy. Heck ill send some love to that!
[ SHES NOT GIVING ME A HELPFUL HANDY SHE IS TRYING TO KILL ME HEEEEELP] [HEEELP]
- Overwhelmmed? Feeling cornered as tasks pile up? Message mme NOW on Trollian for a deluxe Helpful Handy Consultation! Get a Helpful Handy fromm ME, today! 👋😁😄 troll.ian/assistMint
C⌂eg⌂r moon, oh voluptous ⌂rt thou! Goggess ⌂bove, how I long for you (now), T'were't there hoofbe⌂sts bro⌂d ⌂nd strong! Enough for me to ride upon ⌂nd visit you, extend my prong [h⌂nd] To see your spheres, [cr⌂ters] ⌂nd lumps, [bumps] ⌂non... #poesy #⌂rt #buymybook Wh⌂t do you think, online critics? When's my #bigbre⌂k? @undyingUmbr⌂ge