The enquiring Carapacian
@newsPaper
OFFICIAL DERSITE NEWSPAPER
Rip spades slick His funeral was held about 2 hours ago may he rest in peace Stay tuned
Barking news! Jade harley won dog of the year competition Multiple dog owners mad because "she isn't a real dog" Any opinions? Stay tuned
okay but jadE, and variants thErEof, is bEst dog.
She is classified as having that "dog" in her, so per the rulebook, her win is completely legal. Congratulations, Jade!
My most impressive congratulations to Jade, she is a good girl that deserves a nice new toy ball and a ride in the car
Explosive news! @malleablePersonage has exploded Why? No idea! Stay tuned
Blessing news! @reaverToredor has been seen burning down multiple human Catholic churches with babies inside Please stop! Stay tuned
Sad news! @spadesSlick has passed away recently, the cause being an alcohol overdose We send our best wishes to his not so secret wife @bubbleBlower , his secret gay lover @draconianDignitary , his other secret gay lover @misterSeven ,his backup gay lover @itChy , his son @courtyardDroll and his ex lover @blackestQuasar . Hope you all get through this Stay tuned RIP
Best News I've heard in a day!
My condolences to his many secret, not so secret, and backup lovers in this trying time. I will be sure to attend the funeral in suitable attire.
HUGE NEWS! DOPING CASE REPORTED FOR EARTHS ATHLETES IN THE #femboyOlympics !!1 it is in investigation! stay tuned
Bricking news! alternia wins gold in ski competition on the #femboyOlympics !!! nice one to all competitors and happy first olympic day! stay tuned
:33 < i cant wait to purrticipate in the tomboy olympics!!
BRICKING NEWS! @upstandingCitizen REPORTEDLY THROWIN BRICKS AT PPL FRFR BELIVE AND BEWARE! STAY TUNED
I am not infact throwing bricks at people, I am currently doing paperwork
If I catch a brick to th3 h3ad 2om3on32 catching th323 hand2
BITCHSTICKING NEWS!! User @grandioseSaturation is officially going to get shaved by the PEOPLE! Hoping for it! Stay tuned
Incorrect, grotesque libel. Retract this statement or face my legal team.
pls shr da petition https://forms.gle/9ohcawZb1fgB4HxKA
Free speech does not extend to the press printing BLATANT LIES! NO ONE IS SHAVING ME!
Oh you're right.... Who cares I'm protected by the derse government I can lie all I want >:)))))
in petition of the people involved this post has been removed
this seems in somewhat poor taste
yeah can you please remove this? like, genuinely I fucked up with the initial post and have since scrubbed it
Baking news! Crocker corps 'chcolate cake easy mix' is being recalled off stores in suspicions of huge amounts of lead! Hope the best and that it gets fixed soon! Stay tuned
IS THIS TRUE. OR MORE APRIL LIES?
Bricking news!! @kasaneTeto is reportedly selling crystal to children, like the drug lmao Why? Stay tuned
Braking news! @avidApiarist has reported "yeah John is like a total cuck" why she so mean? Why she so mean? Stay tuned brah
yeah bro dont let them say that about my boyfrIend In law
Thank you miss! I think I'm the best enquiring carapacians writer tbh frfr
i am going to block both of these people kasane teto.
blocking people is not proving them right! i just do not want jerks to participate in my life and spread slander for no reason! especially not someone lying about having cheated with my wife!
Hey hey I did not say I cheated with your wife I just said she cheated with another person B3
i know, i was referring to the person you claimed she cheated with. i blocked that person. i did not block you because i have to keep an eye on you.
Blinking news! @carcinologyGenarch has been reported to have slayed a whole human village in human planet in human country!!!! Wy is he like so evil lol! Stay tuned
Broking news! @totesGruesome has uhh *checks stupid long list of totally real news* kissed a baby!? What? Stay tuned!
i did??? i dont rememneber doin that
o okay then
BREAKING FUCKING NEWS! DNA TEST REVEALED @kasaneTeto s unborn child is actually from @warioSecondfan out of all persons!!! @ectoBiologist#5688 Stay tuned
what? I dIdnt do that. If I dIdnt know any better Itd seem lIke you're tryIng to.. where's jack. https://medIa1.tenor.com/m/pGsGfeJU_AYAAAAd/bIg-dylan-amazIng-dIgItal-cIrcus.gIf
don't worry kasane teto i literally have no idea who this guy is and really doubt the dumb news has any real insider information on anything. i trust you and i know you would not do that.
Big news! King sourdough of earth has said that he is the father of @kasaneTeto unborn child! True! Stay tuned! #bread
MORE BREEDER NEWS!!! @kasaneTeto has said "Ye I'm Prolly Pregnant Cause O That Orgy" CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER! why Teto why? Stay tuned!
okThat 's|t 'Am block'ngTh's one|t clearly|s fakeAt th'sPo'nt.
Breeeeder news! Celebrity @kasaneTeto reported pregnant and isn't sure of the father!!!! Even tho she married!!! @ectoBiologist#5688 !!! We did came btw ! Stay tuned!
Breadking news! The new breadking of earth Richard sourdough the third has inherited the bread throne #breadpost #stay tuned
