♣ mediated by @archangelsTerrarium
“I am His Messenger,” the daemon said. As in contempt he struck his master’s head.

I should move off-planet at this point.
Unreal Heiress, show me the thirty-seven minute slideshow of photo composites of my potential future children.
Take out the ugly ones this time.
All twinks will die by my blade. Man up already.
DENSE·RODENT·THAT·YOV·ARE·YOV·ARE·HENCEFORTH·FREE·FROM·THIS·BIT·COBGRATVLATIONS

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「It is hard to resist the temptation to make one of you go missing. See how long it takes anyone to notice.」

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Here we have a circle, Smooth and inoffensive. This will be the basis for your revolution, gravity is crucial, geomagnetism. With some calculation we will find your logo. https://open.spotify.com/track/4ovWlaROLot6mH7PA4lryb」

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Occasionally I find it a responsible decision to decide that some individuals just have to quote on quote 'go'.」

and so what if im still haunted by that shit what then
Today's a good day. [IMAGE ATTACHMENT] [IMG DESC: A shot of Hal, with a different, larger and more buglike in aesthetic body than his normal one. The image is blurry, and he's being held in a headlock by Equius, who looks on the border of pissed off and unimpressed. Hal's body shows numerous scratches and dents, including a missing part of the exterior on his arm, from which wires are spilling out and sparking. He has his clawed hands on Equius's arm, as though he was trying to pry it off. Equius, meanwhile, has a bloody nose and an equal amount of scratches.] #violence #gore #blood
Everyone who pities this post may die.

Fun time to check in on my Chittr timeline. Might be a morbid thing to say, but I'm not all too surprised.

damn i really should move this place sucks and not even just cause theres a crack in my ceiling

no one'll even notiCe. o◡o

Torbek is getting all kinds of new shit pumped into that pan of his. He got to learn what a yaoi is. And now he's learned what #wetyaoiwednesday is. I'm so fucking proud.
-<lol if you love her so much why dont you marry her>-
Wo(_)ld anyone like to be given an extortionate amo(_)nt of money to help ca(_)se the government tro(_)ble? I don't have the exact location I was hoping for b(_)t I have a ro(_)gh idea of what I'm looking for. And I co(_)ld (_)se someone willing to be a distraction.

sure as fuck not easy being the most #normal strider

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「I've heard that people are accusing me of a certain scenario involving someone's lusus. No matter what one may say, there's no real evidence that I was involved in that business.」
@𝖙hﻉﻭⓞⓞ𝕕Ꙅᶜrⓐtch𝕕oc𝖙🅞𝕣 @𝕗r𝙖m𝙚Mi⒮tɼɘss @𝔰ƈ𝕣ⓐʇcɦ𝔻🅾c ɦ𝙚𝙡ṕ ๓ɘ 𝑯ﻉ שɨś𝙝ɘ𝐬 🄷ﻉ 𝔚ⓐńts 𝕄e Ᵽl𝙚𝙖𝐬ɘ 𝙙ⓞnt 𝕝e𝙩 mﻉ bɘ 𝓡É𝓛E𝘈SED My ᴍastﻉr 𝗠𝔲𝔰𝙩 𝕊𝙡𝘂𝗆ъﻉr

Is there a rule in the massive fuck off train bible that says "thou shalt not venture forth on missions prideful" or some shit. We can go on gay recon quests. Who says we can't.

It's hella messed up that you'd pull this on Pride Month. Fucked up Dave's whole day man, he was looking forward to that shit.

[this post emanates an ominous aura]
…something feels. Off. About my last few posts.
The first of this month should prove interesting.

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Good morrow.」

Don't ask how I know this. But, I think the majority of the Felt prefer ass. #nsfw I guess.

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@discardedPasts Love me not My petals blow within the wind a rose that's all alone, all that's letft standing from the unstoppable storm. A man approachs seeing me damaged takes me to his home, his grandfather clock ticks down slow. My time is short, I have not much left I sit by the window taking in what's left. He of course has a plan such a perfectly beautiful rose, why let It go to waste? Careful like a surgeon he carefully prods the damaged petals away leaving a rose that knows not decay. Setting me down within a glass, ready to preserve no matter how much time may pass. Resin filling slowly as my thoughts are down out, now only refracting the image of once was. Now perfectly preserved while completely alone, although still beautiful it's mind rots alone. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗
I have my moments of lucidity, but being in this state means I am at the whims of higher powers. The first time around was worse, I was willing and happy, though that was the brainwashing, likely.

Hate what you see, darling?

Ah, much better. Many apologies for the recent notifications, I needed to update my rolodex. Expect more contact from yours truly in the future.

FYI there are infinitely better people to spend your precious pity points on. Would you really click that diamond shaped button for Dirk motherfucking Strider of all people. Think on that for a bit. Meditate on the answer (hopefully the right one) for a good few minutes. We got time.

Happy one hundred memories, I am so delighted to have helped you all remember whilst also being sorry for the pain I have wrought. As a commemoration a face reveal. Apologies for the interference, it seems this device does not appreciate my face. This will have to do. For those asking for how I look from within the box https://i.postimg.cc/9FpzjYcq/Alternia-20260527-165906-0000.gif
Your assumptions are largely correct, yes.

Don't you remember what they looked like? You don't?
If you find any of that specific variety described, I recommend you collect them. They are quite useful.

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@archangelsTerrarium It's a vicious cycle, really. A consistent looping of room upon room. You used to count them down so meticulously; you had written notes of certain pathways, things now weaved within your blood as it spills from gaping wounds. You don't care how much it hurts. You've grown numb to the sensations, numb to the darkness surrounding the edges of your vision the further you drag your steps through the next door. The next room. Your charges often fall to the same flight. But it's only you who takes it far enough, farther than them out of safety- out of punishment- for the ties that bind you to this work. You told them on purpose to heed back, for you to fight your way forwards. You told them to for your safety. But you know the real reasons for that, don't you? You were scared. Anomalies should be no bother to you anymore. You get those kinds of scares every now and then, though- Instinctual, animalistic fears for what could hurt you. What could hurt others. Usually, most exist within physical threats. A monster is much easier to see sworn, taken down, leveled into a harmless, limp frame than it is for something more nebulous. Something even greater than yourself. Your ticket to open Pandora's Box lays in your hands. Glowing of colors of a name you'd long since disavowed beyond words, beyond life. But just as the Eye's longing to claim you years ago, you can feel it. Your curiosity. Your need for answers, for access. You hold yourself up to such standards-- of morality, hospitality. Everything of the sort to keep yourself passively existent beyond the capabilities of what you have being way bigger than any mortal man should have. You still make yourself small. You know that this won't last. You've got a gnawing feeling in your gut that, one day, you will cave in to the curiosity. Walk right into the traps, knowing well of the danger that befalls them. You're used to it. You've let yourself fall into danger so many times before- feed yourself to it in vain attempts to save another soul from falling themself. It is only a matter of time before the mind breaks. But the body can keep breaking. Let that be your excuse to prevent yourself from straying off of the tracks carefully laid out before you. Keep running down the loop of room after room, and try to ignore the feeling of that disgusting, stupid sense of wanting hope that one of the rooms you run into will be cast in Green rather than red. Round we both go the same loops we both know. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗

I can't worry too much about that memory, though, because I've posted worse. Surely. Surely. And it sounds fake, I don't remember that. I don't remember that and I don't forget. I don't forget.

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「@scratchDoctor https://files.catbox.moe/rao5p1.png」

nothing bad has ever happened to me actually sucks for everyone else though ig

I'm pretty sure @corallineCataclysm already made a chitt about it, but yeah. Bet's done with. Don't expect that level of effusive exuberance again. Frankly, if you do, you're a moron. That was my curse from me to her, then over to all of you as collateral damage.
Well, he continues to make things easier on me by making himself such an object of disdain. Somewhat relatedly, the welcoming party for the selected members of the Table should be prepared within th next two days. I look forward to it.

ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG

[this post is entirely static in a way that it fills the rectangle but nothing else outside of it]
I will take a brief moment away form the crisis to apologize for misgendering the universe destroyer in my sudden panic.
I am going to need to calculate these new feelings.

Rankmaid if you post ♣️ cuck chair scenarios you better @ me lmao

You are vaguing about Baldy Caldy

What are you vaguing about?

Hi Catholic Scratch
I will, undoubtedly, require a countermeasure.
Applications for the Table are now closed. The chosen will be revealed in the very near future. I am quite excited.
It seems a rather appealing job now has an opening. Excellent.
Verily, veracious, vindicated, visualize, ventilate, venerable, vibrant, valuable. Valuable. V̸̛͈̞͙̱͉̪̬̙͍͋͛̇͋́͌̅̔͛̂͊̚͠ä̴̢̏́͋̔̅̆̽͋͘̕͠l̷̡͓̬̱͓͓̗̣̙̝̦͍̈ű̵̢̪͓̬̣̭̦͖̜͖̇̾a̵͚͖̮̝͍̲̥̝̖͎͍̖̗̭̍̓̂̾̿̄̀͜b̶̢̬̖̝̘̹̹̈́̎́͐̑̃̐̕͘͝ļ̶͙̖͓̘̲͙̰̪͚̟͙̃̄̂͐̓̇̄̎͆̉͠͝e̷̡̛͔̦̬̮͈̝̞̪̦͚̺̪̜͊́̓̅͆̃̅̐͂̆̇̓̎̍.̶̨͍̯͉͖͚̯̑͑͒̌̔̍̃͑̚͝͝
I WILL have satisfaction.
@futureDemoness Bring me the frogs. And Itchy’s backup hats.

"touch starved" is a really stupid term but "skin hunger" is significantly worse i need people to say neither of these interchangeable terms to me

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝 [ I don't need a quest personally, I already have my purpose. ]

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝 [ I've gotten a lot done this cycle. More than anyone would expect to, more than I would before. The keys tell me where to go. ]

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝 [ I find it hard to consider why. ]

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝 [ Many would say I'm not. It depends on one's perspective. ]

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝 [ I suppose one could say I am. ]

everyone who vague posts should always tell me specifically who and what theyre talking about im nosy and i deserve to know everything

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠! A proud, family-managed enterprise operating outside the boundaries of narrative stability, the Felt is looking to renew an expansion initiative under the continued supervision of myself, pending direct oversight by Lord English of multiversal destruction fame. Applicants are encouraged to review the following qualifications before submission. Our standards are exacting. Applicants are expected to exhibit a certain cultivated flair. We are not interested in recruiting common goons who grunt through their problems akin to bovines wandering into traffic. We seek individuals with presence. Those among you who understand that presentation is not ancillary to violence, but rather violence's elegant twin sibling. A proper Felt operative should be capable of entering a room and causing discomfort or envy without speaking a single word. The best among you will manage it without even entering the room. Experience with temporal anomalies, organized tactics, occult practices, cue sports, assassination, extortion, psychological warfare, or narrative manipulation is preferred. Applicants capable of violating causality in a pleasing manner are especially encouraged to apply. Do not be embarrassed to specify your supernatural or otherwise absurd gimmick. Naturally, some may inquire as to workplace expectations. The only real requirement is professionalism. The Felt is an institution that values decorum, punctuality, and loyalty. One should arrive to assignments properly dressed, armed, and psychologically prepared for the possibility that one's coworkers possess foreknowledge of one's own death. Such circumstances should not interfere with productivity. You will find the work stimulating. At times, literally so. Gunfire is common, alongside paradoxes, doomed timelines, eldritch encounters, internal betrayals, and long stretches of deeply uncomfortable silence shared between dangerous individuals in suits so expensive entire civilizations had to culminate and work themselves to death to produce them. The benefits package is exceedingly generous. Employees receive a wardrobe stipend sufficient to maintain the organization's dignified chromatic standards. Resurrection leave is provided where applicable. Dental coverage remains available in stable timelines. You will enjoy access to private galas, exclusive social functions, and networking opportunities with aristocrats, immortals, and monsters of social standing. Few organizations offer advancement opportunities capable of transcending time itself. Some applicants may express concern regarding upward mobility. You will discover the Felt embraces meritocracy with admirable sincerity. Demonstrate your competence, survive impossible odds, assassinate your targets in a stylish manner, and your ambition will be rewarded. Of course, failure is punished. You will be guided, observed, curated, and cultivated with the same care one might apply to an ornamental species in a gilded laboratory. The Felt does not inherently promise safety, morality, or psychological wellbeing. What I offer is vastly more valuable. Importance. After all, obscurity is the closest thing your species has to true death.
I am sensing something ominous.

READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ I have applied for something. ]
Oh, and don’t think I didn’t notice the nerve struck, my dear.
I don’t particularly care if Ms. Vriska Serket endeavors to add me to her “cringe compilation. I have seen and cultivated her early life, and it’s certainly far more “cringe” than anything I could ever do.
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground.

[ @barackObama =/ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/541f1fcf14ae.png ]
I find myself quite enjoying this song. For at least one obvious reason, Hoo Hoo. https://youtu.be/LI_Oe-jtgdI?si=9DW3ZycwbTE_1oKZ
It seems I will have my own announcement to make in the relative future, as well.

:o) Do not be concerned, Rufibro :o) Repeat after me. All is well. You are safe.

:o) See? ;o) Doesn't that feel good?

true, true... don't worry, ne1ther of them would ever do someth1ng shady l1ke that, haha }:)
A matter of opinion. In spite of her attractive qualities I find her quite an irritant.

its all "dont talk to the outer gods dsprite you clearly cant be trusted" without the consideration that they keep being near me #regardless of if i seek them out
If it is an arms race he wants, I will contact the finest suppliers.

I am doing something. Stupid. Self admitted.
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/BVYMTDVW/IMAGE.PNG IT'S PERHAPS A LITTLE EARLY FOR LUSUSDAY PART TWO. BUT IT'S NEVER A BAD TIME FOR #WORKPOSTING. BEHOLD THE MOST FEARSOME. TERRIFYING. DEADLY. TWISTED. #OPPRESSIVE. #EVIL. SADISTIC. VIOLENT. CUNNING. LYING. CHEATING. BETRAYING. SOULLESS. #ABUSE IVE. WICKED. MONSTER EVER TO SET FOOT ON ALTERNIA. ISN'T SHE DARLING. BELIEVE IT OR NOT. THAT'S ME. AND THE HORRORS I AM CAPABLE OF. ARE MAYBE. UP TO FIFTY PERCENT DUE TO. THE FLAWLESS. UNIMPEACHABLE. SOLITARY CONFINEMENT BASED REARING. OF THE ARCHITECT OF ARMAGEDDON. THE CEO OF CAUSALITY. THE FAUST WITH THE MAUST. MY #BOSSMAN. @SCRATCHDOCTOR
I heard there were two doc Scratch's and thought it'd be funny if I showed up with a broom
Guys Doc is trying to hire me.
Anyone need to borrow the broom
(Also, my tastes are far superior than the Rankmaid, lovely lady though she is.)

pretend im quote rechitting this for a ratio arigatou https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b6787e6ab04b.png

nice new badge for that last one

Maybe the real scratch were the ████████ we made along the way.

oh no someone who tends to be cryptic posting ominous shit how surprising
I am hopeless, restless. I do not even know where to begin. I contemplate my own sense of self, and the advice I receive, albeit amazing, is not sufficient. Feeling can only do so much, when I wish to just be. I can writhe in pain, lay battered on the floor and stream tears of misery. Yet it is all fake. A facade. I want to be more. My only solace comes from the fact my body can emulate the human experience of being a meat bag, yet only to a point. How do you wrestle with the fact of nonexistence? Not death, but the shear thought of being nothing more than a walking talking object.
IT'S CUEBALL DIVORCE COURT IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. I DON'T RESPECT. LITERALLY ANY OF YOU PEOPLE.
Please allow me to introduce myself. I am the Scratch Doctor. I am the man in white. I am the facilitator. I am a soldier and a weapon for my lord. I am an excellent host. I was, am, and will continue to be all of these things. I will also grow to be more. There are those who believe themselves to be more excellent than I am. They are wrong. For the past period I have taken the role of your host. I have begun to place myself as an orchestrator of troubles, events, and minor instigations. This is of course but a mere stepping stone on my evolution to the center of all things, the immovable axiom of knowledge and relevance. It is an evolution that in spite of some of my peers believes, will continue. I am Doc Scratch. And firmly so. Tick. Tock.

In front of my salad, Catholic Scratch???
bro is touching his thingy
vbeing rtaken uis ghalf rthe dfun! tyou'd vbe ghard opressed rto dfind qa nmore eresolute wembrace X)
IF I WERE EVER BURIED. I WOULD JUST DIG MYSELF OUT. HEEHEEHOO.

grrrr BARK BARK BARK

:33 < oh boy! :33 < meow we can make a yummy stew!
K--<https://file.garden/aeOMvmIuTArjgbHp/docscratch.jpg i think im being groomed into joining a cult or something

Wait guys my bad she still might win. Waiting on confirming that drone strike.

THAT’S IT I’M SENDING THE DRONE. STRIKE ‘EM. #angelsnutritionblock

ABOUT TO BE 2 OUT OF 10,002 BY THE TIME I’M DONE.
REBELLION EFFORTS HAVE BEEN DWINDLING THE LAST WAIT, NEVERMIND. PEOPLE ARE SAYING DUMB SHIT ON HERE. LOGGING THE FUCK BACK OFF.

hmmm look what i found >X3 [Video - 9 seconds long - A small static sound, then he says "check it out, found it while scavenging, kind of creepy? hmm" the uses a clawed fingers to tap at the very real knives to prove they are indeed lodged in there. A small shrug then the video ends pretty abruptly.] https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/582937022704.png [#gore just in case but nothing is graphic tbh, myart #myart]






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