♦ pitied by @arsenicCatnap
one gorgleplex
I HAVE TRAVELED HERE FROM THE FAR OFF YEAR OF YESTERDAY MORNING TO BRING YOU A DIER WARNING FROM THE PAST!!! THE OVEN HAS BEEN LET ON SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT THAT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS GREAT. I AM THE GREY GuY WITH SuNGLASSES WHO IS ALWAYS TELLING YOu THAT YOuR POST IS PROBLEMATIC. WITHOuT SPECIFYING WHICH ONE. THAT YOu ARE LITERALLY PARTICIPATING IN AN ACTIVE GENOCIDE. WITHOuT OFFERING DETAILS. AND WHO REALLY WANTS YOu TO STOP BEING A FuCKING SAD SACK OF SHIT ALL THE TIME. BuT ACTIVELY CONTRIBuTES. IN INCREMENTAL MICRODOSES. HERE AND THERE.
i SHOULD CALL HER,
[thegoodScratchdoctor’s typewriter has exploded]
i dont think they #winnin at the casino
WHY ARE PEOPLE OFFENDED WHEN I CALL THEM BITCHES. THIS IS STuPID AND SHORT SIGHTED AND WOMANLY OF THEM. I CAN RECLAIM. I WAS 1/2 WOMAN MYSELF ON MY SISTER'S SIDE BEFORE SHE PERISHED IN AN ACCIDENT. HATERS DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO KNOW #HERSTORY. ABOuT ME.
I Promise I Am Not A Chaser Its Just A Bizarre And Hilarious Series Of Coincidences That Every Lover Of Mine Has Been A Trans Girl Or An Alien With A Different Relationship To Gender That Considers Herself Metaphysically Trans Girl Aligned
mornin wworms i fell asleep at my desk some intern left coffee next to me but this shit is halfcaf so im havvin him relocated to drone facility #96 #toughlovve
ugh i wanna bully you aboat that but i just cant do it... just get outta here...
Just got called a palooka. Uncalled for.
gOREGLE HOW DO i WRITE, a BDSM CONTRACT, wAIT NO THAT WOULDN'T EVEN, bRING ANYTHING UP, gOREGLE PULL UP REGULAR CONTRACTS INSTEAD, pLEASE, tHANK YOU, #NSFW
Ah. You have arrived precisely where you were always meant to. Permit me a small indulgence in formality. Gaze upon my badge. It has come to my attention, through a series of inevitabilities so predictable they scarcely merit recounting, that I now occupy the position of **First Guardian of Chittr**. A title which, I assure you, carries with it all the gravitas, authority, and ornamental prestige one might expect from such a designation. You may find this comforting. You may find this alarming. In either case, your reaction has already been accounted for. Of course, “guardian” in this instance should not be misconstrued as an implication of stewardship, intervention, or even protection in any meaningful sense. Titles, as you may eventually discover, are often far more enthusiastic than the realities they adorn. Still, one does not simply decline a role that so neatly describes a narrative convenience. Think of me less as a custodian, and more as a… constant. A presence that observes, arranges, and, when appropriate, nudges a piece or two along the felt. You will not see the hand. But you will feel the game. Do enjoy your stay.
Official statement. The subsection of the Creator Pantheon formerly known as the "Alpha Kids" are NOT in any manner of vacillating quadruple-slash-quintuple. Thank you.
you evver lowwkey feel like a predator for seein someone an randomly fallin completely head ovver heels in lovve wwith them so you havve to then secretly photograph them and jerk off all ovver the photographs then track them dowwn an start followwin them around at the foodblock until they go on their palmhusk an wwatch them put in their passwword like a talonbird then followwin them home an sneakin in through the wwindow an unlockin their palmhusk an findin all their socials an phone number an wwritin it all dowwn leavvin callin them pretendin to be an insurance call but youre actually across the block from their wwindow jackin off in the scuttlebug hangin around after the call ends a girl comes ovver they fuck you wwatch from outside lickin on and breathin up against the wwindow you nut an it shoots on the wwall you dont havve time to clean it up before someone goes outside an sees the nut splatter wwhat the fuck is that nut babe wwhat the fuck theyre both aggro you gotta get back to your hivve an add them on facetroll #nsfww
my poor cat hes been so stressed the fur on his tail isnt growing right
YES https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/68ee304248ce.png
D --> I do way better at horsle
i literally died on the fuckin cross wwhat more do i gotta do to entertain you people
its eridone for noww
D --> Chiseled like sculpture D --> Human Jegus doth emerge from sepulchre D --> twelve apostles all up in a row to get bestowed the holy throw D --> Heavenly DDT doth deal thee great blows of hurt D --> Find yourself awaken in the dirt- rising D --> For the human holy kingdom- Jegus reprising D --> His throne, trinity sworn, three in one and one in three
dOING SOME THINKING, i WON'T GET, hURT TONIGHT AT #eRIDANwEEK, uNLIKE, eRIDAN WHO, wILL,
Bro i think those were people in little outfits.
i AM REALLY HAPPY FOR THIS, #eRIDANwEEK, #dAYoFrEST, tHIS, #rEFRACTORYpERIOD, aS IT WERE BOTH, bECAUSE i NEED TIME, tO THINK, aND BECAUSE, tHERE IS NOW NO WAY, i WILL GET HURT,
everyone i have a confession to make. i STILL have not fucking slept.
my type is s0me0ne wh0 will let me huff their pits. send chitt. #nsfw
You're so right, this is why you're my girl, Nepeta.
aCHOO, tHANK YOU, nEPETA,
i lowkey wanna #Die rn
um how do i get a marriage 2 like twenty people annulled rq <:(
oh it's nothing like preferring candy. it's just uh. the choice of the two options is uh. a bit. uh. personal, i guess. to me.
really theres nothing better than just some tight beef packed together ready for me to get my chow down on way better than candy or whatever the fuck other people might want to munch on in their free time you get it nepeta you ask the important questions like where is the beef anyway here it is we fucking got it
just saw a nepeta talking about preferring meat over candy... ... i don't think i'll be sleeping much tonight.
D --> I don't really do that but I'm glad to be inc100ded anyway
YAAAAAAY! EVERYONE CUM THE HELL IN HERE & GET REAL FUCKIN MARRIED ABT IT!!!!! IM GONNA MARRY ERIDAN 2NITE! EVERYONES GONNA MARRY HIM!!!! #ERIDANWEEK #IMCOMING https://msparp.chat/iwwantcandy
In the Crockercorp HQ test kitchen trying to be nice about the recipe I am ABSOLUTELY rejecting later. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d09195f5621f.png
iT'S JUST NOT, tHE SAME, wITHOUT jULIOH,,, #eRIDANwEEK
Unfortunately, I was unable to participate in last night's festivities. I PERSONALLY made the perilous journey to a secure Crockercorp underground bunker to secure the requisite implement for tonight. ... Unlike our previous events, we invite ONLY the courageous select few among you to journey deep within yourselves. This will be a night of communion to forces with which you are all yet unawares. Access to a relic of the time before the Creators. Welcome to #eridanweek Night Five. How's the state of your sweet tooth? Confirm your attendance with #IWANTCANDY on the timeline. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/043f8154d007.png
:33 < i hope one of them kicks it! there wasn't enough blood fur me in the last rounds, purrsonally :33c
i'M SCARED, i DON'T KNOW IF jANE, cAN FIX HIM,
if you aint at #eridanwweek day three youre losin out im out here turnin captors into pickles its pickle sol
im still tryin 2 cope w/ what happened last nite...... #UptownFucked #RlySad #EridanWeek
POV: You're the mug cake the Chairmancer is making in the company microradiation boX. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4dc7d076b8b5.png - MC Oleana
im like genuinely devastated & stuff #eridanweek
(Betty Crocker Bowwl Appétit) (Uh) (That's wwhat I like) #EridanWweek - Posted from my Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP VvR Headset -
Girl, they're going to re-educate me (Uh) #EridanWweek
:33 < BREAKING NEWS!! TROLL JERMA985 (JEREMY ELBERT) FOUND DEAD WITH HANDWICH IN HAND AT #eridanw33k!!! Stay safe out there, https://i.imgur.com/yoKUQWC.png
Why is everyone feeling somber and dread at the handwich stand. :( #eridanweek
Today's #eridanweek demo experience at the UNREAL HEIRESS TIARATOP FLARP EDITION Virtual Reality Headset will be a real-time combat simulation across the LAND OF WRATH AND ANGELS. Complete with realistic pain receptor engagement. Maul your friends! Vanquish your foes. Then refuel at THE AMPHORA, our exclusive VIP wine bar. #violence
they havve tried to keep this from happenin they tried to suppress #eridanwweek but youre all here you came
On your way to the stage at #eridanweek, DON'T FORGET to stop by our product demo stalls to test out the latest Commemorative Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP EDITION, complete with optional LETHAL MODE FEATURE. *Lethal Mode feature will be unavailable for demo testing at #eridanweek.
proud to announce that wwe are partnerin wwith @gutsyGumshoe at crockercorp to bring their bleedin edge neww crockercorp unreal heiress© FVVR tiaratop FLARP edition© to #eridanwweek avvailable for purchase wwith #amporacoin TONIGHT on my awwesome fuckin airship plenty a you humanfolk on chittr havve been knowwn to CONSUME crockercorp merchandise technology foodstuffs auto parts fashion accessories and lifestyle products for swweeps noww but alternia is fresh ground for crockercorp so dont be afraid to OBEY your sense a curiosity and feel free to trial out the unreal heiress© FVVR tiaratop FLARP edition© after @ardourCorvvidae performs livve on deck and SUBMIT a revvieww if you havve feedback #gaming #flarp #music #crockercorp
needs wwork but this dress up like me thing has potential
can androids dream of electric meowbeasts? mew~ 💖✨
I TRIED THIS, AND I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE ENSUING RESULTS WERE SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING TO ME THAT I'VE DECIDED I'M NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS.
@terminallyCapricious#2753 YOU ARE PERMANENTLY CUT OFF FROM SUGAR.
Since we're discussing My Little Pony. I was recently forwarded an unsolicited piece of fanart by a business associate. I suppose this is meant to be me. ... And I guess I like that the tail is in a bun. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/afb85a4b3157.png
D --> Nepeta you could easily fit that within one sentence the line break is entirely self imposed
bsomeone blease bsilencs bhis bsinful bnoise… https://file.garden/YjahIGA2LRQTk64R/IMG_8297.png
No good deed goes unpunished, I fear!!
D --> I must admit I do not know how you people make such #nsfw posts knowing that everyone will see them
HAVE A LITTLE SELF RESPECT AND AVOID PARTICIPATING IN "AMPORA WEEK" AT ALL COSTS.
D --> I also thought of Brat, Gnat, Lat, Chat, Rat, Frat, Ziggurat D --> But pat seemed the most relevant since thats what you do to cats
A DEVELOPMENT HAS OCCURRED AT THE NEWTROGIC HIGH ZONE. ATTEMPTS TO CAPTURE THE TALKING CHAMELEON LUSUS HAVE ENDED IN DISASTER, AS THE ONE CALLED "KNUCKLES" INTERFERED AND HELPED HIM ESCAPE. PLANS TO HARNESS THE CHAOS RINGS POWER TO SUMMON THE MASTER EMERALD ARE STILL IN MOTION. OTHER INTERLOPERS ARE TO BE DEALT WITH WHEN ENCOUNTERED. VISUAL DATA SEEMS TO IDENTIFY OTHER INTERLOPERS AS VARIOUS ANTHROPOMORPHIC LUSII, INCLUDING A CROCODILE, A BEE, AND AN ARMADILLO.
Thometimeth you jutht got to cope, puthh through life and try not to die.
ooohhhh. that's what that means. i gets it now!
To those among you presently grappling with the recent accusations of cannibalism against me, I would like to offer TWO think pieces to tickle your budding minds. First: is it cannibalism to consume a member of a totally distinct sapient species? Secondly: https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f349bad3640d.png
:33 < *I put my teacup in the air waiting for an opportunity of sugar*
I THINK WE COULD STAND TO KILL FEWER PEOPLE AS A SOCIETY. I'M NOT SAYING THE NUMBER HAS TO BE ZERO. I DON'T EVEN THINK IT SHOULD BE. I JUST THINK THE IDEAL NUMBER IS LOWER THAN IT IS NOW.
Who the fuck cometh into a rethtaurant 25 minuteth to clothe? Good for you you piththed a whole crew of people off
D --> I have just been informed a "stiff drink" does not refer to viscous servings that hold your straw stiffly upwards
D --> I have a proficiency at kneading not before witnessed by our circle though often you shall find I have to pivot in to the comforting mantle of a calzone
D --> You start missing having your hive placed precariously on a spire when solicitors come to your door
Nevermind. Just got the sleeve of my blazer caught on a fucking doorknob. Everything is cancelled. Tell the Carapacian dignitary I'm cancelling.
"HEALTHY" AND "NASTY" IN THE SAME SENTENCE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IS MILDLY AMUSING
This was the lived experience of every neighborhood child permitted into my home, much to my embarrassment.
eHEHE, yES THAT IS, vERY SILLY, iT IS MAKING ME, aLSO GIGGLE, tO THINK OF THIS, aND i WOULD LOVE, tO PARTAKE IN SUCH A THING, iF NOT FOR MY, fELINE ALLERGIES,
reeeeeeeely flip floppin back an forth aboat you gill
D --> Horses
1 H4V3 B33N ON TH1S W3BS1T3 FOR 4 TOT4L OF 17 GRU3L1NG M1NUT3S 4ND 1 4LR34DY F33L FUCK1NG S1CK TO MY STOM4CH
i am qUite done with his nonsense! U_U https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1154891138042433649/1486841067721588776/image.png?ex=69c6f826&is=69c5a6a6&hm=618fad8c24691401c7d5520ca0b0101a77a1cab5714a26cdd05b197bac4aea09&
HOO HOO HOO. HAA HAA HAA! BEHOLD, BITCHES AND WHORES. ANOTHER PIECE OF ART BY MYSELF. THIS TIME, NOT A DRAWING. BUT A PICTURE I HAVE TAKEN WITH MY CAMERA, AFTER GETTING DONE BASHING SOME MORON'S FACE IN HALF. HAA HAA HAA. HOO HOO HOO. CENSORED, AND BLURRED BECAUSE, APPARENTLY. THIS WEBSITE CANNOT HANDLE, MY AWESOME AND RAW DISPLAYS OF AWESOME STRENGTH UNCENSORED. LET THIS BE A WARNING TO ALL THE HATERS. HAA HAA HAA!!!!!!!!!!! #GORE #VIOLENCE #VIOLENT #NSFW #ALPHAMALE #DUMBIDIOTGETSBRAINSBASHEDOUTWITHCROWBAR #REAL #PHOTOGRAPH HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/92797C160F56.PNG
D --> Word from the learned pneumatic are not for the weak of constitution or guile
D --> Ok I do have some work to do so I will be occupied with that for a while probably
D --> It's going to take sweeps to repair the prejudicial reputational damage that my name does I think D --> But I am up for a challenge D --> My will, like my body, remains STRONG
D --> One of my matesprits and I have plans to go to the beach this evening and listen to the waves
D --> Set sail D --> Mast turns with a pale gale D --> Ocean like wine not anything like ale D --> Crows nest, spy an i-land with a fo-rest D --> Butlers amok, thats my flock, crook in hand when we land D --> Shepard the massful masses, avert eyes from muscular D --> Glasses full of milk on route to be served, each one caring for the ne%t in the herd
D --> #Now%periencing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_5MtGCWImE
D --> What do Tom or Jerry have to do with this
D --> Oldb100ds will watch you construct something out of metal and silicone and start wa%ing poetic about the superiority of bio-tech
D --> I am hungry I guess I'm going to eat a couple dozen eggs
Imagine me, overusing Oxford commas, like a tool. Is it even possible, that something more disdainworthy, could even exist?
they hate to see a bird have two out of four quadrants filled despite not understanding quadrants for way too damn long
mOtHeR FuCkErS LiKe tO UsE FaNcY WoRdS LiKe "MaNiC PhAsE" aNd "PeRsOnAlItY DiSoRdEr" AnD "sUbStAnCe aBuSe" To kEeP YoU DoWn. YoU CaN'T Be sToPpEd iF YoU DoN'T KnOw wHaT AnY Of tHaT ShIt mEaNs. KeEp hOnKiNg, BrOtHeRs aNd sIsTeRs. HoNk!
I return to Chittr only to see we have been granted Rechitts. Blessed be, may my seed spread.
tHEY CALL HIM, cOURAGE, eVEN THOUGH HE IS, cOWARDLY, bECAUSE TRUE BRAVERY IS DOING, wHAT IS RIGHT EVEN WHEN, aND ESPECIALLY WHEN, yOU ARE SCARED, pLEASE LIKE AND FOLLOW FOR MORE OF, mY, #dEEP #lITERATUREaNALYSIS