♦ pitied by @arsenicCatnap

man whatebber is going on with ponies and naruto and all that i dont got the mental capacity for it. good luck or bad luck idk
Day one of absolute celibacy. #Suggestive #NSFW I guess? #CelibatePride #HappyPride #BetterThanYou
Guh.

th0ught i was so cl0se two seeing the usual cycle get br0ken this time. it's been awhile but there's still no excuse f0r getting that easily suckered again. twodays #sinday is sl0th for n0t bothering t0 remember the obvi0us.

wwhere are the eridan ships that wwhat i wwanna knoww im callin all kittycat shipper girls to rectify this gravve inequity posthaste go my nepetalings go
As wise men say, anyauxsujef aishd!
What? Noooooooo! Nothing nefarious 8eing planned at all! I just wanna have some fun!

yeah kris has a meenah beam

i dont think any words are "real", we all just agree on what nonsense noises our vocal cords are capable of making Mean.

I am writing a mournful soliloquy 8efore I kill friend of the channel and former rival, @caligulasAquarium. It wasn't until I attempted to tag you did I realize there were so fucking many versions of you, 8ut here it goes. I used to think there was no greater cosmic em8arrassment than 8eing Eridan Ampora. 8ut. I was proven wrong. He went and achieved apotheosis. Which, really, the universe should only ever allow out of spite. Like, really consider this. Paradox Space is a perfectly 8alanced endless set of gears, 8allasts, and mechanisms 8eyond comprehension. It manufactures f8 itself like a loom drawing upon silk. Now, imagine, that grinding to a halt 8ecause some wanna8e fearmonger with a superiority complex decided that he wasn't 8eing treated fairly 8ecause of his lack of ridiculous uniform. So, he contacts the engineer of the machine. @handMaid. Some no8ody rust8itch in servitude to the lamest 'gang' in all of existence. Eridan was a8le to kiss enough of destiny's ass, pro8a8ly literally 8etween the three of these scatpans, and with the emotional complexity of a damp firework, managed to 8ecome a literal god. The Prince... of Hope. There is poetry to 8e written a8out that. None of it would 8e good, 8ut the kind scri88led in the violet ink on the 8ack of a napkin after 8eing thrown out of every seadweller society there is. Worst part is it suits him so well. He would 8ecome something mythic. Of course, we can expect the next several sweeps for him to let the idea of it deflate in his ego, and then adapt the melodramatics of a 7 sweep old again. What with his romantic resilience of a wet paper towel, he of course had to crawl into divinity waste chute first. He is, after all, melodrama itself! Insecure, catastrophically so! And now, I'm going along and learning he considers himself a 8astion of restraint? Do you know how terrifying it should 8e for you trolls when someone who was genuinely close to genocide a few times, every other convers8ion really, starts speaking softer. Staring out at the horizons fishing, and content? Contemplating not how many land dwellers he can harvest, 8ut what's next on the agenda? Like, for real! This isn't character growth! I refuse that idea. I re8uke it! 8ecause this is just the calm 8efore the storm. I h8 to say it, 8ut I pro8a8ly know him the 8est in this instance. If you see a violet8lood in flowing godtier pajamas, muttering a8out providence and destiny while smoking a faux cigarette and galivanting a8out like a depressed lighthouse keeper, you should pro8a8ly stay away. He's not a threat now, 8ut any one of you can trigger him into a wwretched wwonderful rage like no wwavves havve evver 8efore crashed against the coast. So to speak, anyway. Also, no, I'm not pitch88ing. I'm 8eing dramatic for the sake of FLARPing and trying to kill him. The 8etter the narrative, the juicier the kill!

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f0a594743aad.png #vvaguechit #blockedagain #formyhumor #and #mywwit #mycurse

i get a lot a shit from the locals on pomon for solvvin things wwith my owwn royal prongs and the gleamin wwhite holy flame that radiates from the wwell manicured fronds attached to em but to this i say i literally cannot help bein an aquarius #princeproblems #fiduspawwn #myfidujourney #spawwnsaturday
dont worry i totally get it i think i can handle horror movies in the moment but im totally freaked out about every shadow in the house and close my blinds and stuff afterwards

i guess ill confess something :/ i think if i stop being positive for too long everyone will hate me then abandon me.... :(
D —-> Oh dear. I do not think I could do this

where's my bad6e for bein' a 6ood Courier......

<<"i-i, um, i can't say i've ever really done that, n-no...">>
sea dwwellers dont cry idiot thosere my ink sacs leakin yeah big wwhoop evvery sea dwweller inks from their vvision stalks its kinda wwhat distinguishes us from the general land rubbish
I only cry once a year, on the anniversary of Mitch Hedberg's death. Rest in peace, Mitch. You were the sexiest man who ever lived.
@golgothassTerror :P You already know the answer to this. <3
we gotta be usin gulags more
I'M SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH ALL THE TRAINING AND ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS JUST TO GET CALLED BIG KAHUNA BY MY CO-COMMANDER. REALLY MAKES IT ALL FEEL SERIOUS. THIS IS A /S KIND OF CHIT, BY THE WAY.

:33< skull pile

What tea flavor.. should I use today... (- . - ❀) I have Chamomile... lilac flowers... and dried prunes... (' . ' ❀)

dont be a dick

like this chit and i wwill glub at you

Want you guys to know that Wrothe hate reacted my abducted to the gym chit, taking that to mean that he is so consumed with envy at the fact that people enjoy my company enough to force me to go anywhere that he couldn't help but let me know. It probably reminded him that he is going to die sad and alone in the corner of his cubicle and no one is even going to notice.
i log on i drop truth nukes a civvilization annihilatin proportion the wwahmen are triggered their soyboy beta hemocuck simps are trippin ovver their undulatin squigglies falsely assumin theyll get pailed by defendin their honor they are self moggin meanwwhile my cortisol levvels remain unspiked
Under t)(e nuisance guidance unrequested yet t)(oroug)(ly provided by like everyone w)(o messaged me, I did it. 38/ Youngest Alternian -Empress -Ever! Naut like a good leader needs experience or any anyfin. Or an understanding w)(olly of t)(e systems t)(ey intend to disrupt. Or anyt)(ing useful like t)(at! Ug)(. Gonna be pretty busy an -Empress. S)(orey if we were becoming fronds! 38) I will still c)(eck in.
youre the wwhetstone wwith wwhich to sharpen my wwit

∻My lusus just t☢ld me the hem☢spectrum might n☢t be the ☢nly spectrum I'm ☢n.∻
WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT HAPLESS IDIOTS HAVE DARED TO WAKE ME FROM MY SLUMBER?

one gorgleplex

THAT IS GREAT. I AM THE GREY GuY WITH SuNGLASSES WHO IS ALWAYS TELLING YOu THAT YOuR POST IS PROBLEMATIC. WITHOuT SPECIFYING WHICH ONE. THAT YOu ARE LITERALLY PARTICIPATING IN AN ACTIVE GENOCIDE. WITHOuT OFFERING DETAILS. AND WHO REALLY WANTS YOu TO STOP BEING A FuCKING SAD SACK OF SHIT ALL THE TIME. BuT ACTIVELY CONTRIBuTES. IN INCREMENTAL MICRODOSES. HERE AND THERE.
[thegoodScratchdoctor’s typewriter has exploded]

i dont think they #winnin at the casino

WHY ARE PEOPLE OFFENDED WHEN I CALL THEM BITCHES. THIS IS STuPID AND SHORT SIGHTED AND WOMANLY OF THEM. I CAN RECLAIM. I WAS 1/2 WOMAN MYSELF ON MY SISTER'S SIDE BEFORE SHE PERISHED IN AN ACCIDENT. HATERS DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO KNOW #HERSTORY. ABOuT ME.

mornin wworms i fell asleep at my desk some intern left coffee next to me but this shit is halfcaf so im havvin him relocated to drone facility #96 #toughlovve

ugh i wanna bully you aboat that but i just cant do it... just get outta here...

Ah. You have arrived precisely where you were always meant to. Permit me a small indulgence in formality. Gaze upon my badge. It has come to my attention, through a series of inevitabilities so predictable they scarcely merit recounting, that I now occupy the position of **First Guardian of Chittr**. A title which, I assure you, carries with it all the gravitas, authority, and ornamental prestige one might expect from such a designation. You may find this comforting. You may find this alarming. In either case, your reaction has already been accounted for. Of course, “guardian” in this instance should not be misconstrued as an implication of stewardship, intervention, or even protection in any meaningful sense. Titles, as you may eventually discover, are often far more enthusiastic than the realities they adorn. Still, one does not simply decline a role that so neatly describes a narrative convenience. Think of me less as a custodian, and more as a… constant. A presence that observes, arranges, and, when appropriate, nudges a piece or two along the felt. You will not see the hand. But you will feel the game. Do enjoy your stay.
Official statement. The subsection of the Creator Pantheon formerly known as the "Alpha Kids" are NOT in any manner of vacillating quadruple-slash-quintuple. Thank you.
you evver lowwkey feel like a predator for seein someone an randomly fallin completely head ovver heels in lovve wwith them so you havve to then secretly photograph them and jerk off all ovver the photographs then track them dowwn an start followwin them around at the foodblock until they go on their palmhusk an wwatch them put in their passwword like a talonbird then followwin them home an sneakin in through the wwindow an unlockin their palmhusk an findin all their socials an phone number an wwritin it all dowwn leavvin callin them pretendin to be an insurance call but youre actually across the block from their wwindow jackin off in the scuttlebug hangin around after the call ends a girl comes ovver they fuck you wwatch from outside lickin on and breathin up against the wwindow you nut an it shoots on the wwall you dont havve time to clean it up before someone goes outside an sees the nut splatter wwhat the fuck is that nut babe wwhat the fuck theyre both aggro you gotta get back to your hivve an add them on facetroll #nsfww

my poor cat hes been so stressed the fur on his tail isnt growing right
YES https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/68ee304248ce.png

D --> I do way better at horsle

i literally died on the fuckin cross wwhat more do i gotta do to entertain you people

its eridone for noww
D --> Chiseled like sculpture D --> Human Jegus doth emerge from sepulchre D --> twelve apostles all up in a row to get bestowed the holy throw D --> Heavenly DDT doth deal thee great blows of hurt D --> Find yourself awaken in the dirt- rising D --> For the human holy kingdom- Jegus reprising D --> His throne, trinity sworn, three in one and one in three

Bro i think those were people in little outfits.

everyone i have a confession to make. i STILL have not fucking slept.

my type is s0me0ne wh0 will let me huff their pits. send chitt. #nsfw

i lowkey wanna #Die rn

um how do i get a marriage 2 like twenty people annulled rq <:(
really theres nothing better than just some tight beef packed together ready for me to get my chow down on way better than candy or whatever the fuck other people might want to munch on in their free time you get it nepeta you ask the important questions like where is the beef anyway here it is we fucking got it

D --> I don't really do that but I'm glad to be inc100ded anyway

YAAAAAAY! EVERYONE CUM THE HELL IN HERE & GET REAL FUCKIN MARRIED ABT IT!!!!! IM GONNA MARRY ERIDAN 2NITE! EVERYONES GONNA MARRY HIM!!!! #ERIDANWEEK #IMCOMING https://msparp.chat/iwwantcandy
In the Crockercorp HQ test kitchen trying to be nice about the recipe I am ABSOLUTELY rejecting later. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d09195f5621f.png
Unfortunately, I was unable to participate in last night's festivities. I PERSONALLY made the perilous journey to a secure Crockercorp underground bunker to secure the requisite implement for tonight. ... Unlike our previous events, we invite ONLY the courageous select few among you to journey deep within yourselves. This will be a night of communion to forces with which you are all yet unawares. Access to a relic of the time before the Creators. Welcome to #eridanweek Night Five. How's the state of your sweet tooth? Confirm your attendance with #IWANTCANDY on the timeline. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/043f8154d007.png

:33 < i hope one of them kicks it! there wasn't enough blood fur me in the last rounds, purrsonally :33c
if you aint at #eridanwweek day three youre losin out im out here turnin captors into pickles its pickle sol

im still tryin 2 cope w/ what happened last nite...... #UptownFucked #RlySad #EridanWeek
POV: You're the mug cake the Chairmancer is making in the company microradiation boX. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4dc7d076b8b5.png - MC Oleana

im like genuinely devastated & stuff #eridanweek
(Betty Crocker Bowwl Appétit) (Uh) (That's wwhat I like) #EridanWweek - Posted from my Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP VvR Headset -
Girl, they're going to re-educate me (Uh) #EridanWweek

Why is everyone feeling somber and dread at the handwich stand. :( #eridanweek
Today's #eridanweek demo experience at the UNREAL HEIRESS TIARATOP FLARP EDITION Virtual Reality Headset will be a real-time combat simulation across the LAND OF WRATH AND ANGELS. Complete with realistic pain receptor engagement. Maul your friends! Vanquish your foes. Then refuel at THE AMPHORA, our exclusive VIP wine bar. #violence

they havve tried to keep this from happenin they tried to suppress #eridanwweek but youre all here you came
On your way to the stage at #eridanweek, DON'T FORGET to stop by our product demo stalls to test out the latest Commemorative Unreal Heiress Tiaratop FLARP EDITION, complete with optional LETHAL MODE FEATURE. *Lethal Mode feature will be unavailable for demo testing at #eridanweek.

proud to announce that wwe are partnerin wwith @gutsyGumshoe at crockercorp to bring their bleedin edge neww crockercorp unreal heiress© FVVR tiaratop FLARP edition© to #eridanwweek avvailable for purchase wwith #amporacoin TONIGHT on my awwesome fuckin airship plenty a you humanfolk on chittr havve been knowwn to CONSUME crockercorp merchandise technology foodstuffs auto parts fashion accessories and lifestyle products for swweeps noww but alternia is fresh ground for crockercorp so dont be afraid to OBEY your sense a curiosity and feel free to trial out the unreal heiress© FVVR tiaratop FLARP edition© after @ardourCorvvidae performs livve on deck and SUBMIT a revvieww if you havve feedback #gaming #flarp #music #crockercorp

needs wwork but this dress up like me thing has potential
can androids dream of electric meowbeasts? mew~ 💖✨
I TRIED THIS, AND I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE ENSUING RESULTS WERE SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING TO ME THAT I'VE DECIDED I'M NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS.
@terminallyCapricious#2753 YOU ARE PERMANENTLY CUT OFF FROM SUGAR.
Since we're discussing My Little Pony. I was recently forwarded an unsolicited piece of fanart by a business associate. I suppose this is meant to be me. ... And I guess I like that the tail is in a bun. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/afb85a4b3157.png
bsomeone blease bsilencs bhis bsinful bnoise… https://file.garden/YjahIGA2LRQTk64R/IMG_8297.png
No good deed goes unpunished, I fear!!

D --> I must admit I do not know how you people make such #nsfw posts knowing that everyone will see them

D --> I also thought of Brat, Gnat, Lat, Chat, Rat, Frat, Ziggurat D --> But pat seemed the most relevant since thats what you do to cats
A DEVELOPMENT HAS OCCURRED AT THE NEWTROGIC HIGH ZONE. ATTEMPTS TO CAPTURE THE TALKING CHAMELEON LUSUS HAVE ENDED IN DISASTER, AS THE ONE CALLED "KNUCKLES" INTERFERED AND HELPED HIM ESCAPE. PLANS TO HARNESS THE CHAOS RINGS POWER TO SUMMON THE MASTER EMERALD ARE STILL IN MOTION. OTHER INTERLOPERS ARE TO BE DEALT WITH WHEN ENCOUNTERED. VISUAL DATA SEEMS TO IDENTIFY OTHER INTERLOPERS AS VARIOUS ANTHROPOMORPHIC LUSII, INCLUDING A CROCODILE, A BEE, AND AN ARMADILLO.
Thometimeth you jutht got to cope, puthh through life and try not to die.
ooohhhh. that's what that means. i gets it now!
To those among you presently grappling with the recent accusations of cannibalism against me, I would like to offer TWO think pieces to tickle your budding minds. First: is it cannibalism to consume a member of a totally distinct sapient species? Secondly: https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f349bad3640d.png
I THINK WE COULD STAND TO KILL FEWER PEOPLE AS A SOCIETY. I'M NOT SAYING THE NUMBER HAS TO BE ZERO. I DON'T EVEN THINK IT SHOULD BE. I JUST THINK THE IDEAL NUMBER IS LOWER THAN IT IS NOW.
Who the fuck cometh into a rethtaurant 25 minuteth to clothe? Good for you you piththed a whole crew of people off
Nevermind. Just got the sleeve of my blazer caught on a fucking doorknob. Everything is cancelled. Tell the Carapacian dignitary I'm cancelling.

"HEALTHY" AND "NASTY" IN THE SAME SENTENCE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IS MILDLY AMUSING
This was the lived experience of every neighborhood child permitted into my home, much to my embarrassment.

reeeeeeeely flip floppin back an forth aboat you gill

D --> Horses
1 H4V3 B33N ON TH1S W3BS1T3 FOR 4 TOT4L OF 17 GRU3L1NG M1NUT3S 4ND 1 4LR34DY F33L FUCK1NG S1CK TO MY STOM4CH
i am qUite done with his nonsense! U_U https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1154891138042433649/1486841067721588776/image.png?ex=69c6f826&is=69c5a6a6&hm=618fad8c24691401c7d5520ca0b0101a77a1cab5714a26cdd05b197bac4aea09&
HOO HOO HOO. HAA HAA HAA! BEHOLD, BITCHES AND WHORES. ANOTHER PIECE OF ART BY MYSELF. THIS TIME, NOT A DRAWING. BUT A PICTURE I HAVE TAKEN WITH MY CAMERA, AFTER GETTING DONE BASHING SOME MORON'S FACE IN HALF. HAA HAA HAA. HOO HOO HOO. CENSORED, AND BLURRED BECAUSE, APPARENTLY. THIS WEBSITE CANNOT HANDLE, MY AWESOME AND RAW DISPLAYS OF AWESOME STRENGTH UNCENSORED. LET THIS BE A WARNING TO ALL THE HATERS. HAA HAA HAA!!!!!!!!!!! #GORE #VIOLENCE #VIOLENT #NSFW #ALPHAMALE #DUMBIDIOTGETSBRAINSBASHEDOUTWITHCROWBAR #REAL #PHOTOGRAPH HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/92797C160F56.PNG

D --> Ok I do have some work to do so I will be occupied with that for a while probably

D --> It's going to take sweeps to repair the prejudicial reputational damage that my name does I think D --> But I am up for a challenge D --> My will, like my body, remains STRONG

D --> One of my matesprits and I have plans to go to the beach this evening and listen to the waves
D --> Set sail D --> Mast turns with a pale gale D --> Ocean like wine not anything like ale D --> Crows nest, spy an i-land with a fo-rest D --> Butlers amok, thats my flock, crook in hand when we land D --> Shepard the massful masses, avert eyes from muscular D --> Glasses full of milk on route to be served, each one caring for the ne%t in the herd

D --> I am hungry I guess I'm going to eat a couple dozen eggs

Imagine me, overusing Oxford commas, like a tool. Is it even possible, that something more disdainworthy, could even exist?

they hate to see a bird have two out of four quadrants filled despite not understanding quadrants for way too damn long
I return to Chittr only to see we have been granted Rechitts. Blessed be, may my seed spread.






































