♦ pitied by @inspectingPickles
I Have Been Pouring Over My Passed On Moirail's Belongings. None Of It Smells Like Him Anymore. It Upsets Me Very Much.
Man I really ain't that experienced in the pitch quadrant. She danced with me and stabbed me in the guts on our first... Date? Then she paid fer my hospital bill. This ain't just flirtin' right this is like the most ridiculous movie level pitch behavior? Fuck. So glad QL ain't on this site to laugh at me.
I'd say I'm a pretty unique flavor of freak but apparently I still ain't crazy enough fer some people's style.
Me and my big mouth.
c< dONt 4get, i lOst aN arM, aNd gOt trauMatized iN tHe prOcess, sO.... dONt.... ya KNOw, be wisHiN 4 sHit liKe tHat Or else tHe MONKeys paw curls, aNd tHeN i gOtta grab tHe fOurtH raid crew tHis weeK >c
At a crossroads were I want to yearnpost like Larsko but if I do that her kids are absolutely going to see it and I think I'll finally hit my limit on what amount of shame I can feel if they see that shit. It was a lot easier to embarrass myself when I was a bachelor I dunno how they do it.
this isnt an excuse and the situation is still difficult beyond words but i didnt put the gun in his hand. he took it from me himself. whether im glad that he did or not... i cant tell. #violence
I gotta ask some of you chittrfolk about this. Say you have a revolver. There's three shots in it. So a 50/50 shot at killing whoever you're shooting. You have to shoot someone you love in the head knowing those odds. If you don't, someone they love is going to die instead. Now imagine the person you hold most dear looking at you and telling you to pull the trigger just to spare this other person. The other person is telling you not to pull the trigger. What do you do in this situation?
youre all certainly familiar with the trolley problem. imagine with me that you see a woman at the lever. if she does not pull the lever then the trolley is on course to hit exactly four people. if she pulls the lever those four people will be the only survivors from a planet with a population in the billions. you watch her pull the lever without a second thought. she knows that she is not one of the four designated survivors. i dont have a question for you at the end of this one. but youre free to answer anyway if you feel so compelled.
I am so sorry I destroyed everyone's whimsy on this fine Wednesday.
"Sir have you had time to—?" "Are you finished doing—?" I hate to inform you, but the democratic process is very long and takes time. I apologize. I am doing the best that I can.
chittr seems like it could be the right assortment of people to ask. would you consider someone with a vested interest in the destruction of their planet to be evil? what if they are in charge of an organization whose primary purpose is making that apocalypse happen?
Like I said, it was a long shot. I doubt it was you, for. Obvious reasons. Just turning over every stone.
My celebration went well. A small but pleasant affair, and I gave many gifts to my guests. I am, for now and for always, an excellent host in that sense.
√(Bold of you to assume we can be sorted into any taxonomy from Earth. We've got our own shit going on here)²
https://c.tenor.com/4dleqc6EF-sAAAAd/tenor.gif
Troll rabies
the security fr0m the gala?
Gettin' my teeth nearly knocked out the other night seemed to have caused my weasel-teeth to show up again somehow. It's a long story, don't worry about the details; point is I'm tryin' to get used to havin' these fangy canines back in my mouth and I keep biting my lip by accident.
It's a good night to enjoy a peaceful stroll and avoid listening to the voices.
@pulchritudePowerhouse your pdnis look weird -from the office of ace dick detective agency
...Man I dunno if I wanna click that. Feels weird considerin'.
Please don't. It would be weird, considerin'.
Regrettin' my abbreviation all of the sudden.
I really hope detectives posting their impressive members on dash doesn't become a trend. That is a really tough expectation to meet. #nsfw
Really don't know how to feel about the carapacian version of myself and my co-worker liking my dick. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/431c9411477c.png
Whatdya mean concussions can't be solved with whiskey what kinda fuckin' doctor is are those he people be.
No I'm talking about @bulgeCurator remember! I'm not confucsed I'm just lecebrating the people loving my nudes.
c< tHaNK yOu 2 tHe crew wHO saved My ass @NeONAllNigHt @pulcHritudePOwerHOuse @iNspectiNgPicKles @buMMelBOOgie @eclecticENgiNeer aNd a MeNtiON 2 @ligH2fDeMOcracy 4 tHe Medical atteNtiON.... iM dOwN aN arM, sure, but ill still be HOstiN 2MOrrOw NigHt.... tHaNK yOu all agaiN.... >c
One thing after after a fuckin' 'nother in this damn town.
I have addressed this in an official press statement this noon at Midnight City, but for those of you who are not tuned into our local politics: The Mayor of Midnight City was found assassinated in his vehicle two days ago. The details we cannot get into at this time as initial investigations are still ongoing. Midnight City will be holding an emergency election in the coming months to determine a new mayor. Until then the municipality has elected me Interim Mayor for the time being, in order to carry on our leaders ideals of Democracy. I have accepted this position, but cannot comment on our plans going forward at this time. Thank you for time and all of your support these past couple of days.
Yeah well promise me you'll tell him that he took ten years off my goddamn life with that little stunt if you're visitin' who I think you're visitin'.
Yes, it would seem so. And I am losing files at an alarming rate.
It seems you are all concerned about me, as it appears my moniker is "Hate Bot" but I am entirely unaware of the context. Incredible stuff.
I just ate a phone bomb directly to the face. I'm fine, for the record. Already resurrected.
I am not a regular guy. I cannot enter a space.
My Seer powers are showing me that you're going to have a good day. Not like that other person, though. Jeez. That's real fucking rough.
I think I'm going to take a nap for the next year if that's okay.
Not only have I never done anything wrong, in my life, there is also nothing wrong with me in any shape or form.
I never did end up finding my stamp collection...
I'm on the ground in a pool of flustration!
...ah shit THAT'S what the hat man is?
>> ¡ hope my day goeડ aડ we11!! 1o1
>> A11ergy med¡c¡ne commerc¡a1 ¡ડ the beડt poડડ¡b1e energy to have wow
Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk....
[Jinx's phone has been obliterated by a high velocity round]
What do you mean we haven’t fixed climate change yet??
I swear, every person I ever meet is too good for me. Dunno if it's the charms or just pure luck, but I've got too many good people in more corner and not enough ways to pay 'em back. Either way, I gotta call it a night. See ya everyone. #vagueposting
Detective Tip: If you go into a career where you don't kill too many people and mostly, like, rescue cats, and help setttle domestic issues. You can start to tip the scales back for the moral price of being basically the sole survivor of the apocalypse.
C'mon pal I don't need you to pattin' me on the back for some barneymugging it's embarrassing...
Why did I type that first thing when waking up. You all saw nothing.
Oh God, when you pull out my full name I just now that right now you're givin' me that look you give me behind your screen.
THAT WAS ON OPTION???
Okay it is only after I shot some of those cans did I turn the box around and see that it had some that Alternia scrawl on it. When I used my phone to translate it, turns out it says 'Antiques.' I'm beginnin' to really hate how you can't delete posts on this website.
I Was Wrong, There Is An Amount Of Mental Duress That Can Keep Me From #hornyposting. #nsfw #seriouslythough #ow
...renn did warn me THat my concern levelS, and my hatred for clownS would increaSe if i uSed THiS Site. fuck i hate when he'S right.
So Casper says, "a purple blood fucked up some sweeps of memory for me, like literally stole them I can't remember it. He also dished out a shit ton of trauma on the side for fun, I don't think I'll ever recover," and everyone's all like go to sleep Casper. But a few guys say, "universe is a big frog btw," and that's fine? Whatever. Wouldn't the universe be a giant crustacean or a gastropod of some kind??????? Makes no sense. If everything is spirals and spirals is everything, the universe should be a gastropod with a huge as fuck shell.
"Can’t you see that you’ve done your best With that weight on your mind? Come for fun but were chased by death No more wasting your life It’s just par for the course it seems That’s how all of it goes in time It’s alright, it's alright, it’s alright" #nowplaying #lyricposting #haventyoulearned?H̷͕̞̉A̴̯͝V̵̢̛̦͠E̵̙̒ͅǸ̴̘̤̈T̸̡̄Y̸̯̦͒͑Ò̸̬U̴͎̮͋
I had this big metallic one that I would place down and watch all the other kids tried to knock it out and then they got mad and threw me in the fountain.
id be kinda worried that like 4 different diamonds droogs just followed me in the last 10 minutes but I DONT CARE!!!!! #bullpeniscane
getting called kid a lot more lately. huh.
do u eva feel like nun a dis is real -from the office of ace dick detective agency
Fuckin' hell. Didn't crawl my way into the real world just to learn none of this might be real.
we really cant be doing all this rankbait before fight night! im beginning to feel a little dizzy at this rate! ( //꩜ ‸ ꩜//;)
I got told one strange premonition at a not-funeral and my ass has been paranoid about it ever since. Detective Tip: Don't let Scratch get in your head. I am not fully succeeding at this one.
I am also not answerin' that without a lawyer alright no more questions talk to my agent I'll be in my trailer goodnight Hollywood.
Haven't really been there myself. The folks that run it seem nice but I dunno if it's exactly my scene. Somethin' about ol' mom and pop shops like that makes me feel like I'm standin' on eggshells. Like if I get into a fight there I'll ruin their lives or somethin'.
Hello, Mr. Dick. I don’t like this reply very much.
I mean my desks RAISED.
I mean my desks dicked.
Well it wouldn't hurt to get my windows widened or my dicks desked so why not.
It's always open for ya, pal. Just knock. Y'know. Just in case.
((im sorry to everyone waiting on me for writing of any kind; i kind of fizzled and burnt out for reasons. i will try to return in full form eventually but im cooked right now :skull:
i just paid 8 bucks for a coffee and it tastes like shit, like what even is the point
IM A GOOD MAN I WOULD NEVER STEAL BITS WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!? #BITWAR #MYBITS
God, I wish you could mute threads. Having to watch an ignorant fool hopelessly flirt with people of actual taste and intelligence is truly worsening my day.
Just felt my ears burning for some reason.
i will be drawing mØre images. hØwever i can nØt pØst them. bastard has seen my previØus Øne.
barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark
Why is he s♥︎ meeeeean QxQ
I feel like I'm at war with Smart House (1999) everytime the hate bot comes around. The world is so beautiful.
