♦ pitied by @inspectingPickles
Pain.
Good News: I have plenty of old alchemized tech to replace any exploded phones. Bad News: This one is from the wearable tech era. Why did I think these glasses were a good idea.
You're all sucking up the luck, stop it.
c< ....ive always Hated tHis cOlOr.... wHy was i cursed witH tHis sHade.... sO MucH streNgtH.... caNt save aNyONe.... >c
WHO THE FUCK. IS JAN.
I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH.
I AM THE EATER OF WORLDS. *YOU* ARE GERIATRIC.
I'm going to put Midnight City Jazz on at slightly above reasonable volume and find something more potent to smoke. #substance
What the FUCK could he possibly have meant by that.
Gander if you don't stop shipping me with the literal Green Goblin, I am going to find you.
There will be no Egg anywhere in my vicinity, Casper.
The ask box looks fun but there's no way that it wouldn't be a flaming pile-up wreck considering recent events. Alas.
Second question I said last, but underlined.
We'll all already know you're saying and doing freak shit in those private conversations. It's all ogre, Dean.
That one co-worker that's just gotta go. God hes ready. God take him please god
I’M THE HANDSOME OPTION.
At this point the phrasing has to be on purpose.
I'm getting lit the hell up in the comments, man. It's over.
As opposed to mostly piss, which is what the manor is. Also mostly fire. This place kind of sucks sometimes.
Uuughhhhhhhh stupid panic attack over nothing, as per fucking usual. Nevermind eating dinner is canceled actually
SUFFERS FROM IMMENSE AND BODY-FRYING STRESS ALL HIS LIFE
I can't let you get close.
Like usual, sleep is escaping me. I would make myself a hot chocolate, alas the well that is the oat milk carton has run dry, leaving me woefully bereft of non-dairy options for any array of hot beverages one might have during these hours. Devastating.
@INSPECTINGPICKLES *YOU PISSED IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE*!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY DOES MY SECOND HOUSE SUDDENLY SMELL OF PISS.
I AM IN QUITE A BIT OF PAIN TODAY.
>> yogurt parfa¡t 🎉
VERY!
WHAT IS IT WITH STRIDERS AND INSISTING THAT I WANT THEM? THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SINCE I'VE JOINED THIS SILLY SITE. I AM FLATTERED THAT THE IDEA INTERESTS THEM, I SUPPOSE, BUT IT IS A VERY BOLD AND UNTRUE ASSUMPTION IN MOST CASES! GOODNESS. :^(
I don't wanna hit the ground running. :(
0 days since last cosmic bullshit.
Dear, I do keep saying I’m working on things in the background, don’t I? Well, it’s not a lie. But it doesn’t help trans-narrative timing when certain should-be-erased queens decide to not be erased and swear vengeance quests against you, and now you have to prepare countermeasures. So sad. But I’m rambling, aren’t I? The short of it all is, I’ll be doing things again soon. Heehee.
Ahem. 🎣 Every time.
We're doing basic word definitions in the group chat.
[ ₜₕₑ ₚₑᵣₛₒₙ yₒᵤ'ᵣₑ ₜᵣyᵢₙg ₜₒ ᵣₑₐcₕ ᵢₛ ᵤₙₐᵥₐᵢₗₐbₗₑ ] Probably! Mine gets read though [ ₚₗₑₐₛₑ ₜᵣy ₐgₐᵢₙ ₗₐₜₑᵣ ]
bitch you never seen a typo or what
Guy that ended up not taking that nap after all.
Criminal Tip: You can totally flirt with your boss if you're not a coward.
It's always Jack Off and nobody ever asks if Jack On. Does Jack have a working power supply.
( might take a break for a while. Hate to be a buzzkill and all but I got some news that kinda made me sick and idk how to feel about it at the moment. Don’t worry my unhinged bullshit will likely return)
Just got a cool gun.
Beautiful women are always shooting me. It's their favorite pastime.
THIS ANNOYING FUCKERY. IS INTERFERING WITH MY LORDLY DEMEANOR. AND MY ENJOYMENT OF THE SUFFERING. OF ONE OF THE WORST OF THE FUCKING HUMANS. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.
I can't believe it. I'm seeing double. Four Lords.
N̷o̸w̴ ̵I̵ ̶h̶a̷v̸e̷ ̵c̸h̴i̶l̴d̴r̷e̵n̶ ̸o̶f̷ ̷m̴y̸ ̶o̴w̶n̷,̶ ̶T̷h̵e̴y̴ ̴a̶s̸k̵ ̴t̴h̵e̴i̵r̸ ̸f̴ ̵a̷ ̶t̴ ̷h̵.̸ ̶E̷.̷ ̶R̶ ̴W̸h̷a̵t̵ ̵w̵i̴l̷l̸ ̸I̸ ̵b̴e̷
I am no longer accepting questions at this time.
seems about right i just dont wanna block because now it blocks all the persons accs instead of just the one i blocked
I am being utilized for. Knowledge regarding a diner. Hm. Whatever my lord wishes.
⧃ Indeed it is.
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Well, yeah. He's management.
At this point I might have to talk to the middle manager to find out about the expected duties.
GUTTED THAT I MISSED TWIN PEAKS WHAT
Interesting as it is, I don't know if I have room on my plate for puppet nonsense technically. My priorities are elsewhere, for now.
>> Ooh!! Good 1uck!! ¡ be1¡eve ¡n you
>> OH!! H¡ PETER ¡ M¡ડડED TH¡ડ ONE ડORRY
<:( There's no good banter on chittr dot ing anymore. It's just gimmicks and dicks.
even when i get tied up i dont get dommed golly i need to take a break from that role.
well / it looks like the dog / is getting put down tomorrow / anyway i'm / not going to be active much / for a bit
You Know, It's Actually Worse That He's Not Rambling Away Online About His Creepy, Stalkerish Antics. I Have No Idea If He's Still Watching My Hive And I Don't Think I Want To Find Out.
For some reason Felt Manor doesn't have a Glassdoor page. Feels like the kind of thing that would be useful to many.
I miss my wife #wifeposting.
If I do not stop now the secret underground Chittr society will find me and take me away.
I've got no input on this oven. I'm oven-agnostic right now.
I've really got to close out this case so I can look at my. Career options.
I need to stop drinking, I see a father on my timeline and immediately begin acting unwise.
Sorry for not posting all too much. Been a little tied up with things recently.
early summer poll. <3 - beach <> - lake <3< - pool c3< - garden hose
holy mackarel the bloodline embarrasses me tonight
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-IN MEMORIAM- Burais Karleh 12,634,135 HIR - 12,634,146 HIR Burais Karleh was culled by Her Imperious Condescension's most honourable drones at 16:00 Alternia Standard Time last perigree. She is survived by no recorded partners or lusii, and left no last will & testament. A wake will be held for her in approximately two hours. Speaking on behalf of the deceased will be Quieta Linbre, her ex-matesprit. //#Death #ICDeath #CharacterDeath
//ooc note: i do not want to play burais karleh anymore. she is a tiring muse and it kind of really stresses me out mentally being a woman who is so tormented of the mind. i am giving her a sendoff. apologies for the bad news you're about to receive.
I really need to stop playing billiards.
Ha ha. Well one of my dates didn't really go as planned but. But that's okay. I'm still grateful for the experience. She's was sweet as she is vicious, in my opinion. Even if it's completely one-sided now, I'll still be rooting for her.
#finishedwatching #magic1978 why WOULd quasi-messiah dIRK show me that httPs://i.imgur.com/2KIbbqe.Png -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
why WOULd you cuck that Poor PuPPet BE NICE TO HIM HE BRINGS LAUGHTER ANd YOU CHEAT ON HIM WITH SOME SCHOOLHIVE FLING #magic1978 #suggestive -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
STOP BEING MEAN TO CORKY STOP IT -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
this is one of the SAddEST fucking things ive seen why is no one watching his CARd tricks ):F -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
>> ¡ fee1 1¡ke every t¡me ¡ go to take a nap m¡d-n¡ght, ડometh¡ng abડo1ute1y cataડtroph¡c happenડ to ડomeone or ડevera1 ડomeoneડ. ¡ know ¡t'ડ ent¡re1y co¡nc¡denta1 but Jeguડ H. Chr¡ડt.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@downcastDaylight You remember the last conversation you had with him. An argument, of course. It was almost always an argument in those last few weeks. Arguing about where to go, what to do, how to carry on when half of your playing members were already gone. His tongue could be as sharp as his weapons, a lot of the time, and this was no different. He made it clear; there was no other way forward. Either go in with everything, or spend the rest of your life sitting on your hands waiting for the inevitable. You knew how he would take a moment of sentiment from you. How he would scoff at the idea of losing him. How stalemate would be better than being alone. So you did not say anything. You held your tongue, and you told him to do what he had to. He was always the boss. I remember him vividly, such a character. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗
the inevitabi1ity 0f everything iz that it wi11 end. it d0ez n0t matter if it iz g00d 0r bad.
i didnt realize how much id been taking my big comfy bed for granted until i spent last night upright in a chair. my back was stiff all day.
maybe its the pain meds talking rox but you got some gams that wont quit.... they got those big chewy pretzels here menJanrthfgrrsf.powwejfwpjfpewfcwmwfive dollars??!!!? get outta here........
dont youe worry about it heathcliff
oh man these pain meds got me moving in the 7th dimension....
shes a tough girl but yeah she probably cares more than she lets on ill be gentle thanks
got shot thats really all there is to say on the matter
Shot a bunch of dudes. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
I Have Been Pouring Over My Passed On Moirail's Belongings. None Of It Smells Like Him Anymore. It Upsets Me Very Much.
Man I really ain't that experienced in the pitch quadrant. She danced with me and stabbed me in the guts on our first... Date? Then she paid fer my hospital bill. This ain't just flirtin' right this is like the most ridiculous movie level pitch behavior? Fuck. So glad QL ain't on this site to laugh at me.
I'd say I'm a pretty unique flavor of freak but apparently I still ain't crazy enough fer some people's style.
Me and my big mouth.
c< dONt 4get, i lOst aN arM, aNd gOt trauMatized iN tHe prOcess, sO.... dONt.... ya KNOw, be wisHiN 4 sHit liKe tHat Or else tHe MONKeys paw curls, aNd tHeN i gOtta grab tHe fOurtH raid crew tHis weeK >c
At a crossroads were I want to yearnpost like Larsko but if I do that her kids are absolutely going to see it and I think I'll finally hit my limit on what amount of shame I can feel if they see that shit. It was a lot easier to embarrass myself when I was a bachelor I dunno how they do it.
this isnt an excuse and the situation is still difficult beyond words but i didnt put the gun in his hand. he took it from me himself. whether im glad that he did or not... i cant tell. #violence
I gotta ask some of you chittrfolk about this. Say you have a revolver. There's three shots in it. So a 50/50 shot at killing whoever you're shooting. You have to shoot someone you love in the head knowing those odds. If you don't, someone they love is going to die instead. Now imagine the person you hold most dear looking at you and telling you to pull the trigger just to spare this other person. The other person is telling you not to pull the trigger. What do you do in this situation?
youre all certainly familiar with the trolley problem. imagine with me that you see a woman at the lever. if she does not pull the lever then the trolley is on course to hit exactly four people. if she pulls the lever those four people will be the only survivors from a planet with a population in the billions. you watch her pull the lever without a second thought. she knows that she is not one of the four designated survivors. i dont have a question for you at the end of this one. but youre free to answer anyway if you feel so compelled.
I am so sorry I destroyed everyone's whimsy on this fine Wednesday.
"Sir have you had time to—?" "Are you finished doing—?" I hate to inform you, but the democratic process is very long and takes time. I apologize. I am doing the best that I can.
chittr seems like it could be the right assortment of people to ask. would you consider someone with a vested interest in the destruction of their planet to be evil? what if they are in charge of an organization whose primary purpose is making that apocalypse happen?
Like I said, it was a long shot. I doubt it was you, for. Obvious reasons. Just turning over every stone.
My celebration went well. A small but pleasant affair, and I gave many gifts to my guests. I am, for now and for always, an excellent host in that sense.
√(Bold of you to assume we can be sorted into any taxonomy from Earth. We've got our own shit going on here)²
https://c.tenor.com/4dleqc6EF-sAAAAd/tenor.gif
Troll rabies
the security fr0m the gala?
Gettin' my teeth nearly knocked out the other night seemed to have caused my weasel-teeth to show up again somehow. It's a long story, don't worry about the details; point is I'm tryin' to get used to havin' these fangy canines back in my mouth and I keep biting my lip by accident.
It's a good night to enjoy a peaceful stroll and avoid listening to the voices.
@pulchritudePowerhouse your pdnis look weird -from the office of ace dick detective agency
...Man I dunno if I wanna click that. Feels weird considerin'.
Please don't. It would be weird, considerin'.
Regrettin' my abbreviation all of the sudden.
I really hope detectives posting their impressive members on dash doesn't become a trend. That is a really tough expectation to meet. #nsfw
Really don't know how to feel about the carapacian version of myself and my co-worker liking my dick. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/431c9411477c.png
Whatdya mean concussions can't be solved with whiskey what kinda fuckin' doctor is are those he people be.
No I'm talking about @bulgeCurator remember! I'm not confucsed I'm just lecebrating the people loving my nudes.
c< tHaNK yOu 2 tHe crew wHO saved My ass @NeONAllNigHt @pulcHritudePOwerHOuse @iNspectiNgPicKles @buMMelBOOgie @eclecticENgiNeer aNd a MeNtiON 2 @ligH2fDeMOcracy 4 tHe Medical atteNtiON.... iM dOwN aN arM, sure, but ill still be HOstiN 2MOrrOw NigHt.... tHaNK yOu all agaiN.... >c
One thing after after a fuckin' 'nother in this damn town.
I have addressed this in an official press statement this noon at Midnight City, but for those of you who are not tuned into our local politics: The Mayor of Midnight City was found assassinated in his vehicle two days ago. The details we cannot get into at this time as initial investigations are still ongoing. Midnight City will be holding an emergency election in the coming months to determine a new mayor. Until then the municipality has elected me Interim Mayor for the time being, in order to carry on our leaders ideals of Democracy. I have accepted this position, but cannot comment on our plans going forward at this time. Thank you for time and all of your support these past couple of days.
Yeah well promise me you'll tell him that he took ten years off my goddamn life with that little stunt if you're visitin' who I think you're visitin'.
Yes, it would seem so. And I am losing files at an alarming rate.
It seems you are all concerned about me, as it appears my moniker is "Hate Bot" but I am entirely unaware of the context. Incredible stuff.
I just ate a phone bomb directly to the face. I'm fine, for the record. Already resurrected.
Detective Tip: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
I am not a regular guy. I cannot enter a space.
My Seer powers are showing me that you're going to have a good day. Not like that other person, though. Jeez. That's real fucking rough.
I think I'm going to take a nap for the next year if that's okay.
Not only have I never done anything wrong, in my life, there is also nothing wrong with me in any shape or form.
I never did end up finding my stamp collection...
I'm on the ground in a pool of flustration!
...ah shit THAT'S what the hat man is?
>> ¡ hope my day goeડ aડ we11!! 1o1
>> A11ergy med¡c¡ne commerc¡a1 ¡ડ the beડt poડડ¡b1e energy to have wow
Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk....
[Jinx's phone has been obliterated by a high velocity round]
What do you mean we haven’t fixed climate change yet??
I swear, every person I ever meet is too good for me. Dunno if it's the charms or just pure luck, but I've got too many good people in more corner and not enough ways to pay 'em back. Either way, I gotta call it a night. See ya everyone. #vagueposting
Detective Tip: If you go into a career where you don't kill too many people and mostly, like, rescue cats, and help setttle domestic issues. You can start to tip the scales back for the moral price of being basically the sole survivor of the apocalypse.
C'mon pal I don't need you to pattin' me on the back for some barneymugging it's embarrassing...
Why did I type that first thing when waking up. You all saw nothing.
Oh God, when you pull out my full name I just now that right now you're givin' me that look you give me behind your screen.
THAT WAS ON OPTION???
Okay it is only after I shot some of those cans did I turn the box around and see that it had some that Alternia scrawl on it. When I used my phone to translate it, turns out it says 'Antiques.' I'm beginnin' to really hate how you can't delete posts on this website.
I Was Wrong, There Is An Amount Of Mental Duress That Can Keep Me From #hornyposting. #nsfw #seriouslythough #ow
...renn did warn me THat my concern levelS, and my hatred for clownS would increaSe if i uSed THiS Site. fuck i hate when he'S right.
So Casper says, "a purple blood fucked up some sweeps of memory for me, like literally stole them I can't remember it. He also dished out a shit ton of trauma on the side for fun, I don't think I'll ever recover," and everyone's all like go to sleep Casper. But a few guys say, "universe is a big frog btw," and that's fine? Whatever. Wouldn't the universe be a giant crustacean or a gastropod of some kind??????? Makes no sense. If everything is spirals and spirals is everything, the universe should be a gastropod with a huge as fuck shell.
"Can’t you see that you’ve done your best With that weight on your mind? Come for fun but were chased by death No more wasting your life It’s just par for the course it seems That’s how all of it goes in time It’s alright, it's alright, it’s alright" #nowplaying #lyricposting #haventyoulearned?H̷͕̞̉A̴̯͝V̵̢̛̦͠E̵̙̒ͅǸ̴̘̤̈T̸̡̄Y̸̯̦͒͑Ò̸̬U̴͎̮͋
I had this big metallic one that I would place down and watch all the other kids tried to knock it out and then they got mad and threw me in the fountain.
id be kinda worried that like 4 different diamonds droogs just followed me in the last 10 minutes but I DONT CARE!!!!! #bullpeniscane
getting called kid a lot more lately. huh.
do u eva feel like nun a dis is real -from the office of ace dick detective agency
Fuckin' hell. Didn't crawl my way into the real world just to learn none of this might be real.
we really cant be doing all this rankbait before fight night! im beginning to feel a little dizzy at this rate! ( //꩜ ‸ ꩜//;)
I got told one strange premonition at a not-funeral and my ass has been paranoid about it ever since. Detective Tip: Don't let Scratch get in your head. I am not fully succeeding at this one.
I am also not answerin' that without a lawyer alright no more questions talk to my agent I'll be in my trailer goodnight Hollywood.
Haven't really been there myself. The folks that run it seem nice but I dunno if it's exactly my scene. Somethin' about ol' mom and pop shops like that makes me feel like I'm standin' on eggshells. Like if I get into a fight there I'll ruin their lives or somethin'.
Hello, Mr. Dick. I don’t like this reply very much.
There's a suspicious interloper outside.
I mean my desks RAISED.
I mean my desks dicked.
Well it wouldn't hurt to get my windows widened or my dicks desked so why not.
It's always open for ya, pal. Just knock. Y'know. Just in case.
((im sorry to everyone waiting on me for writing of any kind; i kind of fizzled and burnt out for reasons. i will try to return in full form eventually but im cooked right now :skull:
i just paid 8 bucks for a coffee and it tastes like shit, like what even is the point
IM A GOOD MAN I WOULD NEVER STEAL BITS WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!? #BITWAR #MYBITS
God, I wish you could mute threads. Having to watch an ignorant fool hopelessly flirt with people of actual taste and intelligence is truly worsening my day.
--|i am sad|--
Just felt my ears burning for some reason.
barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark
Why is he s♥︎ meeeeean QxQ
I feel like I'm at war with Smart House (1999) everytime the hate bot comes around. The world is so beautiful.
everypony.