Kanaya Maryam
@grimAuxiliatrix
Head Matriach / 12 Sweeps / Single I Guess But Its Not Even A Big Deal
Dinner Alone Isnt That A Novel Concept #JustDivorced
iF YoU'Re iN ThE MoOd fOr a lIl' BiT Of mOtHeR FuCkInG DiStRaCtInG To mAkE YoU FoRgEt tHe sEnTiMeNtAl nAsTiEs oF DiSsOlUtIoN AnD ShIt, ThErE'S AlWaYs a sUrE-TrIcK ThAt wOrKs fOr a bRoThEr. HaVe a bItE AnD PuT On a mOtHeR FuCkInG YoUtUbE ShOrT. :o)
Ah Yes I Understand Now The Soothing Balm Of One Single YouTube Short Will Fix Everything For Me Thank You
mY MoThEr fUcKiNg pLeAsUrE, k-bAbY. sHiT GoN' gEt yOu rIgHt. GlAd tO KnOw tHiS'Ll sEt yOu oN ThE PaTh tO AcCePtAnCe aNd sHiT. :o)
In Order To Preserve The Last Reserves Of My Dignity And Sanity For The Evening Ive Decided To Ignore The Fact That You For Some Reason Decided To Call Me "K-Baby"
lIl' TeRm oF EnDeArMeNt aIn't nEvEr dId nO ThAaAnG To nObOdY, mIsS Ma'aM. sHiIiIt. I MeAn. UnTiL It dId. BuT ThE PoInT'S AlL ThAt iT DoN'T GoTtA GeT *tO* tHe pOiNt wHeRe iT'S GoTtA Do hArM, iNnIt? I CaN TeLl yOu rEaLlY KeEpInG ThE ReSoLvE RuNnInG DeEp iN Yo pUsHeR, aNd tO ThAt, I SaY YoU Be tHrIvIn', mY MoSt mAtRoNlY Of mAmAcItAs. So i gEt iT. yOu uNdEr a lOtTa sTrEsSoRs. A BrOtHeR HeRe fOr yOu. ShIt lIkE DiGnItY AnD SaNiTy aIn't mUcH BuT ExCuSeS ThE ThInKmEaT ShUnTs uPoN YoU JuSt tO KeEp yOu aLl dOcIlE AnD ShIt. TaLk yO ShIt, GuRl. YoU DeSeRvE It. :o)
You Know As Much As I Do Appreciate It In A Sense Its Hard For Me To Truly See A World Where Youre Actually Willing To Be There For Me Given Everything Thats Happened Of Course
cAn't iMaGiNe a wOrLd wHeRe iT It'd bE EaSy fOr yOu tO NoT CaSt aLl mAnNeR Of oBjEcTiOnS To mE TrYnA SpIt rEaSsUrAnCe aT YoU. yOu rIgHt fOr dOuBtInG Me. FrAnKlY, mY GiRl, I CoUlD NoT TrUtHfUlLy sAy i cOuLd *Be* ThErE FoR YoU. oN AcCoUnT Of mE BeInG WhAt iT MeAnS To mOtHeR FuCkInG Be mE AnD SuCh. :o) BuT I CaN OnLy lEt yOu iN On tHe iDeA ThAt i'm nOt tRyNa' FaLl iNtO FaMiLiAr hAbItS. sO EvEn iF I PrOlLy cAn't *Be* ThErE FoR YoU. i cAn tRy aNd "Be" ThErE FoR YoU. jOkEr's hOnOr. BuLlShIt uP AnD AsIdE, yOu kEeP YoSeLf sTeAdY. tAlK 'bOuT It. AnD DoN'T LeT YoSeLf gEt tOo cAuGhT Up iN ThEm mOtHeR FuCkInG FeElInGs. ShIt's bOuNd tO Be dIfFeReNt. YoU GoTtA AdApT To tHe dIfFeReNcEs. TiL' yOu cAn tUrN DiFfErEnT InTo sImIlAr. :o)
And No For The Record This Is Not Me Telegraphing Some Open Invitation To A Nebulous Empty Space In My Quarters Or At My Kitchen Table This Is Simply To Forgo All The Unnecessary Questions #YesImDivorced #WhoEvenCares
>([i got problems in a way scientists are compelled to study in a lab]
Okay What The Hell Sure Fine Ill Bite Tell Me More Of Your Entirely Believable Problems
>([i #ave a condition w#ere if i dont consume a certain amount of vintage media every wice t#en i enter a manic depressive state an start riggin deat# traps in my own #alls just to feel somet#in]
>([i literally looked like t#is t#ree nig#ts ago tryin 2 get to my basement] #ttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLYGrp0WQAMJ07x.jpg]
>([told u gurl i got a gauntlet a cruel an unusual deat# traps set up round t#e #ive for enric#ment]
Okay So Not To Pry But This Definitely Feels Like An Issue That Warrants Further Discussion So I Feel It Appropriate To Ask Why Death Traps And Are You Okay
>([w#en ur a bonafide g like me u gotta raise da stakes just so its a fair c#allenge for t#e universe an all t#at jazz] >([also yea# im totally fine w#y do u ask]
Please Stop Asking Me Questions Can You All Just Refer To The New Contents Of My Pinned Post Instead Thank You
cLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF, rAIN? cOULD USE A HIGH PRESSURE FRONT, tO PUSH IT ALL AWAY,
cLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF, rAIN? cOULD USE A HIGH PRESSURE FRONT, tO PUSH IT ALL AWAY,
nO IT'S NOT, dON'T YOU HAVE YOUR PROJECTS AND PLANTS AND, oTHER THINGS? tHOUGH, iF IT'S QUIET, mAYBE YOU SHOULD GET A PETm
I Guess I Do Have My Work Still Though Im A Bit Uncertain About Adopting A Pet Im Not Even Sure About Which Kind Of Animal Id Even Want To Take A Custodial Bearing To
fOR YOU,,, i'D SAY A BARKBEAST, a SMALLER ONE BUT, i THINK SOMETHING WITH THAT ENERGY WOULD BE A GOOD FIT AND, yOU CAN DRESS DOGS UP,
vISIT ME AT mR. aBERNATHY'S SHELTER SOMETIME, eVEN JUST TO TOUR OR VOLUNTEER, mAYBE YOUR PERFECT MATCH WILL FALL, rIGHT INTO YOUR LAP, sURROUNDED BY ALL THOSE RESCUES, eHE,
Ive Heard The Rumors Of Barkfiends That Allow You To Dress Them I Must Admit Im Quite Charmed By Those Tales
In Other Exciting And Pleasant News A Fresh Hatchling Has Bitten An Earring Straight From My Ear Chewed It And Swallowed It So Im Not Really Sure How My Day Could Get Any Better Than This
The Caverns Will Be Closing Early Today Because I Have To Go Finalize A Slew Of Assetory Divisions
And Some Other Stupid Stuff I Guess #DontAsk
This Is Probably The Least Pleasant Piece Of Paper Ive Ever Scrawled My Signature On But We Do What We Must I Suppose #PostingVaguely
Wish you luck in your endeavors to sign whatever parchment you are endorsing.
what, you found a way to double divorce her or something?
Listen Given The Current Circumstances Its Probably For The Best That I Refrain From Any Public Back And Forth With Any Of Her Alternate Selves Its Just A Bit Gauche Looking For The Both Of Us
Understood, I wish you the best in your endeavors. Suppose for my own situation it doesn't look the best to be interacting with your variants as well. Enjoy your day, I will be out of your hair.
Frittata For Dinner Again Tonight Kanaya Come On Its Like Were Not Even Trying Anymore
i have a new exciting dinner suggestion
The Brooding Caverns Will Be Closing Early Today Because The Mother Grub Spewed Up A Little Too Much
Please Place Your Well Wishes In The Replies
Stop Saying That I Have Aegyo
I Dont Know What "Aegyo" Is
:33 < my fafurite facial expurression :33 < if only could make me do it right meow
no no silly, thats "ahegao"! "aegyo" is just a korean word for acting flirtatious and coquettish
your natural aegyo it’s so refreshing
If Anything I Would Simply Prefer They Do Whatever They Call This Kind Of Overly Graphic Caliginous Parody Play Somewhere Else Any Place We All Wont Be Unwittingly Subjected To It In The Middle Of The Workday Would Be Ideal
Im Trying To Enjoy My Fifteen Minute Break And This Has All Really Soured My Mood
Must suck to get a front-row seat to someone else's comically disastrous failhookups while you're trying to lock in. My simulated heart simulates bleeding for you.
Thank you. I'm happy for them, I just wish they wouldn't shove the gratuitous bloodshed in our faces. - MC Oleana
WHAT DO YOU MEAN PARODY PLAY.
I Could Stand To Be Happier About If Were Being Honest But I Do Have A Lingering Suspicion That I Most Likely Wont Be
Ideally live-chit the entire alterc8tion after you get your meddling fronds involved, 8uuuuuuuut I am equally satisfied just with having made you interact with this horseplay a little more. ::::)
That Sounds About Right Well Since Youve Shown Your True Ends I Suppose Its Time To Cut The Cord On This One
I Think I May Have Made A Mistake
Yes Im Not Really Sure How Id Rectify It Either But At This Point I Can Tell If I Stuck My Claws Back Into It Id Make Even More Of A Mess
Because Im Apparently Trading My Self-Respect For Peace Of Mind Tonight Like Or Reply To This Post And Ill Arbitrarily Decide Whether Or Not I Would Be Willing To Share A Quadrant With You
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I am a glass half full kind of woman. I'll take this as a good thing. And trust me, the complications are mutual.
tHAT'S NOT, wHAT i MEAN, i WISH, tHEY WOULDN'T ALL THE TIME, aND DON'T GET WHY THEY MUST,
Oh Well I Wasnt Aware Of Any Complications On Your End I Was Employing A Bit Of Lighthearted Sarcasm There In All Honesty Im Sorry To Hear That Though
I See Do You Mean As Opposed To Others Harboring Flushed Or Pitch Feelings For You Then
Oh, even better. I was right to see the glass as half full then. Thank you.
i NEED TO FOCUS ON, a FIGHT NOW AND i THINK THIS GAME, sTOPPED BEING FUN, i HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LIGHT, KANAYA,
Of Course And Sorry About Whatever Happened Between You And My Alternate Self I Suppose Heres To Hoping Your Life Becomes A Bit Less Complicated For The Foregoing
Right I Think Thats Likely My Fault I Mightve Veered A Touch Too Close To Overstepping Among Other Things Sorry Tavros
I Have The Strangest Feeling That Something Concerning Is About To Happen To Me Again
Do you want me to come help? Also I have been looking for you.
You Know I Dont Really Understand The Point Of Publically Cataloguing Your Would-Be Carouses And Conquests For The Entire Timeline To Cast Their Judgment On But What Do I Know
No No And No And Furthermore I Dont Understand What Your Problem Is Here Surely Youre Not Going To Die If I Dont Lay Bare All My Potential Concupiscent Considerations For Literally Everyone On The Website To Rubberneck At I Think Youll Get Over This
my fangs are so long they’re jumbling crazy out of my talk maw and i’m also dying all the time constantly so i in fact am going to die if you don’t write a cute little post saying some shit like Ooo Like This Post For A Vulgar Yet Veracious Claim About Your Fuckability And My Teeth Are So Small So Smaller Than Folykl’s
honestly that’s a great impression of you i outdid myself i’ll post that myself if you don’t
Absolutely What In The World Could Even Be Your First Problem Actually No Because Im Sure If We Started To Discuss In Earnest Wed Be Here For The Entire Night You Are Incessant!
and if you wanna know what my problem is get in line i’ve got a list and it’s so long it goes all the way around the block
I Doubt That But Sure As Long As It Makes Things Easier For You To Bear I Guess
I Just Dont Understand What Could Possibly Drive Someone To Conduct Themselves In Such A Way To The Detriment Of Literally Everyone Else
I Dont Care About The Myriad Stenches We Are Regularly Subjected To In Our Line Of Work There Is No Justification Or Excuse For Anyone To Be Using The Communal Microwave To Reheat Fish
fish is a fresh, at home, or cold meal do not reheat that at work dear god.
Exactly See Maybe I Need To Hire You For A Motivational Panel Or Something Apparently When I Say It Sounds Like Im Giving The Go Ahead For Everyone And Their Lusus To Dig Into Last Nights Tilapia Perhaps Theyd Understand The Hallowed Words Of A God Tier Better Than My Own Instructions
You Think I Wouldnt Have To Be So Specific About Some Certain Things And Yet Here We Are
kanaya i really do not think anyone in any reality would respect me more than you. like ever.
Really While Id Rather Not Publicly Wade Into A Matter As Sensitive As Self-Respect I Will Say You Really Shouldnt Sell Yourself Short Like That And In Accordance With That It Just So Happens That I Respect Quite A Lot Frankly It Would Be Harder For Me Not To
kanaya this isn't me putting myself down to be clear i think i'm pretty solid. i just mean i think if faced with "kanaya said" vs "jinx said" more people would listen to you. thank you though! gosh that means a lot.
Well Good Im Glad Its Not And Thats All Very Sweet You Know I Actually Wasnt Aware You Thought So Highly Of Me Jinx So Im Quite Pleasantly Surprised At How This Conversation Has Developed This Was Nice To Hear
i'm glad! i gotta admit i'm annoyed that i worded it so poorly to begin with, though. ah well. got my point across! :D
Why Did He Repost That
You Know Its Really Not Even Any Of My Business But I Dont Even Think Hes Actually Married
Tavros Why
lOVE! bUT UHH PLATONICALLY, aLSO sTEYSI REACHED OUT TO ME, sPECIFICALLY, wHICH i THOUGHT WAS ODD, bUT NICE!
sHE TRIED TO BE MODEST AND TOLD ME, nOT TO TELL YOU, hOW MUCH SHE PUT INTO PLANNING, aLL THIS, bUT WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT, wITHOUT HER HARD WORK!
Mmmmmm Well Thank You Thank You All This Was All Very Thoughtful Of You
yAY! i'M GLAD YOU GOT OVER YOUR FEAR OF, sURPRISE PARTIES, sTEYSI TOLD ME ALL ABOUT THAT WHEN i OBJECTED, oN THOSE GROUNDS, nOW COME HERE AND GIVE ME, a BIG HUG, aND ALSO PUT ON YOUR RECREATIONAL DUNCE CAP,
WATCHING THIS ALL UNFOLD HAS BEEN LIKE BEARING WITNESS TO A SCUTTLELINE CRASH THAT DESPITE BEING PANTS SHITTINGLY PITIFUL IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO TEAR YOUR GANDERBULBS FROM. I DON'T THINK THE WORD 'SORRY' DOES JUSTICE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH TODAY.
Karkat I Cant Even Recoordinate My Attire For This Occasion Im Still In My Work Clothes With No Appropriate Alternatives Dispatched To My Wardrobifier
FUCKING HELL. DO YOU NEED ME TO BRING YOU SOMETHING? GOD FORBID ANYONE BE ABLE TO FUNCTION WITHOUT KARKAT VANTAS HAVING TO SWOOP IN LIKE SOME KIND OF WARDROBE MALFUNCTION SUPERHERO.
Heee Hooo Heee Hooo Heee Hoooooo