♠ hated by @grimAuxiliatrix
99< [((#this-stuff-is-happening-to-grubs #cw-animal-death #cw-child-abuse #depending-on-your-opinion #death #gore #violence #blood #horror #body-horror #substance (light mention) #cw-needles #cw-cannibalism))] 99< [PLAYBACK BEGINS: THE SCENE OPENS WITH AN ABOVE GROUND SHOT OF THE MOTHER GRUB'S PERSONAL CAVERN. THE GROUND SEEMS TO MOVE LIKE RAINBOW COLORED GRASS, HUE CONSTANTLY SHIFTING. JADEBLOODS WADE THROUGH THE COLORS; SOME WIELD BROOMS, SOME HOSES, SOME MODIFIED BUTTERFLY NETS AND CLUNKY BACKPACKS. THE CAMERA SLOWLY GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE GROUND. CLARITY INCREASES. RATHER THAN GRASS, THE MOVEMENT COMES FROM AN UNENDING WAVE OF WIGGLERS, SCUTTLING OUTWARDS FROM THE CENTER OF THE CAVERN, AWAY FROM THE MOTHERGRUB. ONE JADEBLOOD SWINGS HER NET, CAPTURING WHAT MUST BE AT LEAST A HUNDRED OF THE MINISCULE NEWHATCHES, THEN DUMPS THEM ALL INTO HER BACKPACK. THE EDITING IS STRANGE, WITH MANY QUICK, NEEDLESS CUTS TO DIFFERENT ANGLES.] 99< [The first few instants after a wiggler is expelled from one of the mother grub's many orifices are of vital import to its continued survival. The majority of wigglers will not leave the cavern they were hatched in. The first order of business is nutrients. The mother grub spares no more than she must for each wiggler; they will need to eat to even have the energy to escape. The best first meal for any wiggler is its own discarded egg sac. These contain many vital nutrients that may be reclaimed to help the grub grow. However, the speed at which new wigglers are hatched ensures there is always more than enough competition for this valuable resource.] 99< [This is the first check for good genes a wiggler will experience. Is the wiggler fast enough to grab a sac and run? Is the wiggler sneaky enough to steal the prize from another? Clever enough to create a distraction? Perhaps strong enough to fend off rivals. On rare instances one might even be lucky enough to spot a wiggler with an aptitude for leadership which can form a small gang.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE VIEW FOCUSES ON A YELLOWBLOODED WIGGLER. IT IS VERY, VERY TINY. IT HAS A MESSY MOP OF HAIR COVERING ITS EYES AND TWO V-SHAPED HORNS. IT IS SURROUNDED BY A STAMPEDE OF WIGGLERS ON ALL SIDES, IMPEDING ITS OWN MOTION, BUT IT IS MANAGING TO SQUEAK AND CHITTER ENOUGH TO GET THE ATTENTION OF A FEW OTHER WIGGLERS. THERE IS A JADEBLOOD, NEARLY BALD, WITH A SINGLE HANDLE SHAPED HORN CONNECTING TO BOTH SIDES OF ITS HEAD. THERE IS A PURPLEBLOOD WITH CURLS POKING THROUGH A SERIES OF COMBOVER SHAPED HORNS. THERE IS A BRONZEBLOOD WITH CHOPPY HAIR AND HORNS SHAPED LIKE TWIGS. THE THREE LISTEN TO THE MUSTARDBLOOD, OCCASIONALLY CHIRPING IN RESPONSE TO IT. THE EDITING CONTINUES TO BE ODD, WITH THE OCCASIONAL SEEMINGLY POINTLESS CUT.] 99< [This is also a test of greed. No matter how strong a wiggler might be, if it over-indulges it will find difficulty defending itself. The second-best meal in this cavern, after the egg sacs, is another wiggler.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE CAMERA CUTS TO A LARGE INDIGO WHICH HAS SUCCESSFULLY BULLIED MANY OTHER GRUBS AWAY FROM A PILE OF EGG SACS. IT IS ABOUT TWICE AS LARGE AS THE REST OF THE GRUBS, MAKING IT ABOUT THE SIZE OF A THUMB. IT GORGES ITSELF ON THE SACS AND REVELS IN ITS GOOD FORTURE. SUDDENLY, THE PURPLE WIGGLER FROM BEFORE CRAWLS IN FRONT OF IT AND LETS OUT AN ADORABLOODTHIRSTY ROAR OF CHALLENGE. THE INDIGO BELLOWS AND BEGINS MOVING TOWARDS THIS THREAT. AS IT STANDS, THE JADE AND BRONZE LUNGE AT IT FROM BEHIND, EACH BITING DOWN ON A LEG. IT WHIMPERS IN RESPONSE THEN WHEELS AROUND, FIXATED ON THIS NEW THREAT. THE PURPLE LIFTS ITSELF ONTO ITS HIND LEGS THEN SLAMS DOWN ON THE INDIGO'S BACK. ITS FRONT LEGS PIERCE IT, DRAWING A TWIN TRICKLES OF BLOOD. IT CRIES OUT AGAIN AS IT SHAKES THE LOWERBLOODS OFF ITS LEGS.] 99< [THE MUSTARD MAKES ITSELF KNOWN AS IT CHARGES INTO THE INDIGO, GORING ITS SIDE WITH ITS HORNS. THIS IS ENOUGH OF A DISTRACTION FOR THE JADE AND BRONZE TO GET BACK TO WORK. THEY PEEL OFF LEGS, ONE BY ONE, AS THE PURPLE GNAWS ON THE INDIGO'S FACE. WITH A FINAL PATHETIC WHIMPER THE INDIGO SUCCUMBS TO BLOOD LOSS AND EXHAUSTION. THE GOLDBLOOD STRUGGLES TO FREE ITSELF FROM ITS SIDE AS THE PURPLE AND BRONZE START PULLING THE INDIGO IN HALF. THE JADE CRAWLS AROUND TO HELP FREE THE YELLOW, WHICH GIVES AN APPRECIATIVE CHIRP. THE QUARTET RIP APART THE INDIGO, REVEALING A MUSH OF BLUE BLOOD AND STILL UNDIGESTED SACS. THEY EACH EAT THEIR FILL, BUT NO MORE. THE CARRION IS ALREADY ATTRACTING SCAVENGERS, READY TO ENCROACH UPON THE FEAST, AND FIGHT FOR IT. THE FOUR LEAVE THE REMAINS TO JOIN THE RUSHING WAVE OF GRUBS, BUT STICK CLOSE TOGETHER. ] 99< [IN THE MASS OF GRUBS SOME NIP OR BITE AT THEIR NEIGHBORS. SOME ARE FLUNG THROUGH THE AIR WITH NASCENT PSIONICS. SOME ARE EATEN. ANY WHICH TRY ANYTHING WITH THE QUARTET ARE MET WITH A SWIFT REPRISAL BY ANOTHER OF THE BAND.] 99< [The cavern floor is quickly coated with a sticky mix of blood, up to half a Tiny Imperial Measurement Unit (TIMU) deep closest to the mother grub. The calories gained from fully devouring another grub or even half an egg sac will be enough for a wiggler to escape, assuming they can avoid a fight. Those unfortunate or weak enough to not get either will have to make due with lapping up the blood.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE CAMERA VIEW PULLS AWAY, THOUGH THE QUARTET REMAINS IN VIEW. ONCE FAR ENOUGH AWAY THE ODD CUTS DISAPPEAR. IT FLIES AHEAD OF THEIR TRAJECTORY, CLOSER TO THE WALLS OF THE CAVERN, AND A FEW JADEBLOODED TROLLS IN COVERALLS COME INTO VIEW.] 99< [There are many tasks jadebloods must carry out in the mother grub's chamber: the most important is feeding. The mother grub is kept nourished on a nutrient sludge that has been bio-engineered to keep it fertile, placid, and healthy. While not officially condoned, some caverns have been known to toss wiggler corpses that haven't yet been scavenged into the mix. Depending on the cavern the sludge is then either baked into different shapes, generally beetles, that mimic the mother grub's "natural" diet, or it is administered intravenously.] 99< [Next in importance is collection. ] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE CAMERA FOLLOWS THE QUARTET FROM A GRUB'S EYE VIEW. THE CAVERN WALLS ARE IN SIGHT, WITH FLICKERING LIGHT SHINING FROM DIFFERENT CAVE ENTRANCES. SOME ARE WIDE OPEN WHILE SOME ARE TINY CRACKS, BARELY LARGE ENOUGH FOR A WIGGLER TO SQUEEZE THROUGH. THEY GET CLOSER AND CLOSER, THE JADEBLOODS AHEAD LOOK SO MASSIVE FROM THIS HEIGHT, THE JADES TURN TOWARDS THEM, ONE SMILES- THE CAMERA IS SUDDENLY CAUGHT BY THE SWING OF A NET. THE QUARTET- NO, THE TRIO, LOOK UP WITH A MIX OF INDIGNATION, OUTRAGE, AND FEAR. THERE IS A MUSTARD, A JADE, AND A PURPLE WIGGLER. THE CAMERA CUTS BACK TO THEIR PERSPECTIVE. THE MATURE JADEBLOOD HOLDS A NET FULL OF WIGGLERS, WITH THE BRONZE'S FACE VISIBLE NEAR THE BOTTOM. IT KNOWS NOT WHAT IS TO COME BUT IT KNOWS TO BE VERY, VERY AFRAID. SOME GRUBS SPILL OUT OVER THE TOP AND REJOIN THE MOB. WHEN THEY MOLT THEY WILL NOT REMEMBER HOW CLOSE THEY WERE.] 99< [Cavern collecterrors station themselves far enough from the cavern walls that the wave of wigglers remains tidal, but close enough that only fattened up wigglers will be left. With a single swing of their nets a whole slew of grubs are captured. These grubs are processed on the spot for efficiency's sake.] 99< [THE OLDER JADEBLOOD DUMPS THE LOAD OF GRUBS INTO HER BACKPACK. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS THE BRONZEBLOODED WIGGLER, BUT THE TRIO CAN BE SEEN FLEEING AS THE VIEW SHIFTS. THE YELLOW LOOKS BACK ONCE, THEN CONTINUES.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE CAMERA SWIVELS AROUND BEHIND THE COLLECTERROR AND THE SCENE SHIFTS FROM LIVE FOOTAGE TO SLIGHTLY CHUNKY CGI. EVERYTHING IS RENDERED IN WIRE FRAME, EXCEPT THE WIGGLERS. THE BRONZE IS FOLLOWED, BUT DOZENS UNDERGO THE SAME PROCESS. THE PROCESS PROCEEDS IN FULL, GORY DETAIL AS IT IS NARRATED.] 99< [The torso pillar rucksack of the collecterrors contains a highly specialized bio-machine called a "baby thresher". The first chamber has a floor at a steep angle. Various pheromones are used to separate wigglers by caste and corral them through one of ten different exits. Higherbloods have exits towards the top, such that as they push other wigglers down the lowerbloods among them are moved closer to their own exits. Those which fail to escape, or which are already dead or dying, slide to the bottom and fall into a separate chamber.] 99< [The mixed caste chamber contains a simple set of piston powered walls. They mash the corpses within to a pulp which drains out the bottom. A series of sieves separate out blood, tissue, bone matter, and horn keratin, which is all mixed and collected for later use. The baby thresher comes equipped with many jars to hold the collected materials.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE BRONZE WIGGLER, IN CGI BUT STILL MORE REAL THAN THE WIRE FRAMES, IS USHERED ALONGSIDE ITS PEERS INTO THE BRONZE CHAMBER. ONCE THROUGH THE ENTRANCE IT IMMEDIATELY FALLS INTO A PIT, ENSURING THERE IS NO HOPE FOR CLIMBING BACK OUT.] 99< [Each caste is sorted into a similar chamber. Lowerblood chambers are equipped to handle a great quantity of wigglers, but otherwise they are identical. Hollow needles extend from the walls of the chamber and extract the blood from the wigglers. A carefully calibrated timer ensures that only just enough is taken so as to not cull the wigglers. Once the needles retract the weakened wigglers are attracted, again via pheromone, into a new chamber. Those which refuse to exit or which perish before exiting will be eaten by the next cohort; the self-cleaning capabilities of the baby thresher are one of its key advantages over previous collection methods.] 99< [THE BRONZE WAILS AND SQUIRMS AS IT IS PUNCTURED MANY TIMES OVER AND SUCKED DRY. IT IS A HUSK BY TIME THE NEEDLES RETRACT, FLESH ALMOST GREY. WHEN THE PASSAGE IN FRONT OF IT OPENS IT MOVES AS FAST AS ITS WEAKENED STATE WILL ALLOW. IT WEARS A FACE OF HOPE. IT IS SURE THERE IS ESCAPE AHEAD. IT IS SURE ITS COMPANIONS ARE WAITING FOR IT. IT REALIZES TOO LATE THAT THE NEXT CHAMBER IS ANOTHER PIT AND IS PUSHED IN BY THE BRONZES BEHIND IT. IT IS GROUND BETWEEN TWO SPIKED ROLLERS, SEEMINGLY MADE OF SOME BUG'S SHELLS, AND DEPOSITED IN A PILE OF GORE AND OFFAL.] 99< [The remains of the grubs are collected in their own separate containment units. The small size of the newhatches ensure it takes an entire night before the storage needs emptying. The jadebloods are graded harshly on the quantity and quality of their collections. The combined caste materials are exported for use in the creation of concrete, paper, and fertilizer, among other uses. The separated blood is exported as a higher price for use as paints, dyes, and grubsauce, to name a few examples. The separated offal has many different uses depending on the caste it is collected from. The export of these materials is one of the chief manners brooding caverns pay for overhead costs and bring in necessary resources such as food or personal computing devices.] 99< [SCENE CHANGE: THE WIRE FRAMES DECONSTRUCT IN A MANNER SIMILAR TO AN OLD SCREENSAVER. THE VIEW SHIFTS BACK TO REALITY, FOLLOWING THE TRIO OF GRUBS FROM BEFORE. THE HERD HAS THINNED OUT GREATLY AT THIS POINT; THE CAVERN FLOORS ARE VISIBLE. THERE ARE NO STRANGE CUTS.] 99< [Grubs which have managed to claim their first meal and dodge culling from peers or caretakers will make it to the edge of the cavern. From there, they must pick an exit. Some are dead ends; grubs instinctively refuse to return to the mother grub's chamber, so these will inevitably starve. Some exits lead immediately to predatory mold. A scant few lead deeper into the caverns, where grubs will have to fend for themselves, hunt, forage, and eventually, pupate.] 99< [THE TRIO BICKERS FOR A FEW MOMENTS ABOUT WHICH EXIT TO PICK. THE JADE WIGGLER SEEMS TO BE INTERESTED IN A MOSSY CREVASSE, THE PURPLE IN A HOLE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CLIMBING TO, AND THE MUSTARD IN A WIDE OPEN CORRIDOR. THE ARGUMENT ESCALATES TO NIPPING, BUT EVENTUALLY THEY AGREE TO GO DOWN THE WIDE CORRIDOR. THE PURPLE SEEMS ESPECIALLY HUFFY ABOUT THIS. AT LEAST, AS HUFFY AS SOMETHING THAT TINY CAN MANAGE. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM IN, SHOWING HOW THE CORRIDOR QUICKLY OPENS UP INTO A GORGEOUS UNDERWATER RIVER SYSTEM, WITH OLDER AND FATTER GRUBS PLAYING, EATING, AND CULLING EACH OTHER IN THE DISTANCE. ONE GRUB IN THE UPPER LEFT CORNER OF THE SHOT GETS EATEN WHOLE BY A CARNIVOROUS PLANT. THE PLANT WALKS OUT OF FRAME. THE TRIO SETS OUT WITH A CHORUS OF SQUEAKS BUT THE CAMERA REMAINS STILL.] 99< [The journey is far from over, but grubs which escape the mother grub's chamber have a good start on life. If they've had more than one meal, even better. The next installment shall explore the early life of a proper wiggler and the hazards that come with it. I have been Head Archivist Zervar Burouh. As always, questions and comments are most welcome.] 99< [Wiggler Population Remaining: ~45%] 99< [#BroodingCavernsDocumentary #BroodingCaverns #GrubDeath #WigglerDeath #Pheromones #MotherGrub #Eggs #Hatching #Birthing #CavernJades #Collecterrors #GrubOnGrubViolence #MaterialsCollection] Őoo
#lesbianlifehack Don't fucking cheat on her you absolute waste of space, she loves and cares and cherishes you and the fact you even consider that says more about you than you would ever care to admit. The fact you are even contemplating this says you don't deserve her. #venting
lIl' TeRm oF EnDeArMeNt aIn't nEvEr dId nO ThAaAnG To nObOdY, mIsS Ma'aM. sHiIiIt. I MeAn. UnTiL It dId. BuT ThE PoInT'S AlL ThAt iT DoN'T GoTtA GeT *tO* tHe pOiNt wHeRe iT'S GoTtA Do hArM, iNnIt? I CaN TeLl yOu rEaLlY KeEpInG ThE ReSoLvE RuNnInG DeEp iN Yo pUsHeR, aNd tO ThAt, I SaY YoU Be tHrIvIn', mY MoSt mAtRoNlY Of mAmAcItAs. So i gEt iT. yOu uNdEr a lOtTa sTrEsSoRs. A BrOtHeR HeRe fOr yOu. ShIt lIkE DiGnItY AnD SaNiTy aIn't mUcH BuT ExCuSeS ThE ThInKmEaT ShUnTs uPoN YoU JuSt tO KeEp yOu aLl dOcIlE AnD ShIt. TaLk yO ShIt, GuRl. YoU DeSeRvE It. :o)
mY MoThEr fUcKiNg pLeAsUrE, k-bAbY. sHiT GoN' gEt yOu rIgHt. GlAd tO KnOw tHiS'Ll sEt yOu oN ThE PaTh tO AcCePtAnCe aNd sHiT. :o)
>([i literally looked like t#is t#ree nig#ts ago tryin 2 get to my basement] #ttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLYGrp0WQAMJ07x.jpg]
uh huh, anyvways focus on cutting your estate in half first babes, then wve can talk
Some rel8tionships just can't stand the test of time! Nothing wrong with 8r8king things off when they no longer serve you. Congrats @grimAuxiliatrix for cutting the knot! Human marriage pro8a8ly sucks eggs anyway!!!!!!!!
seated and waiting for the discourse from this post
This one is going to do numbers, unfortunately.
;)
>([w#at about a nebulous empty space in ya recuperacoon if u know w#at im sayin (sex #a#a) #nsfw]
you just might want to not look at the timeline for an hour or so
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 8: kanaya maryam #cheating #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing about this part of the guide. rosie is a lesbian a lot of the time, right? and shes dating kanny a lot of the time. but the thing is, she aint alwvays. youll find plenty of the blondies vwho are just doing their ovwn thing, yknovw? but kanayas, like... nine times outta ten, theres a rose in the picture. i think theyre a cute couple and all, id lovwe to vwatch, but its wveird howv kannys alwvays an accessory to her. but okay. so vwere talking the kanayas that aint gay, okay? so dont cancel me. i mean, some of em are bicurious, or like, play up their attractions to make the vwhole thing more taboo, and thats gonna be the end of that conwversation. hovw do you pick up this fine gal? wvell for starters, feel free to get touchy. kanayas are the most likely, in my experience, to pull the "ignore him and hope he goes awvay" movwe for like. anything. saying horrid stuff, feeling her up, shell be your toy, its adorable. its vwery likely shell bring up rose, dont vworry about it, if she wvas really bothered shed slap you or something. nowv, kanaya is a classy lady, and her issues aint as easy to poke at as the rest of these gals. or at least, they aint as obwvious? newver seen a kanaya vwith lusus issues, least, not the kind that wve can use. mostly shes lonely and a bit insecure in her relationships. vwhat ivwe found wvorks is buttering her up, complimenting her outfits, she puts a lotta vwork in those, maybe asking her to make you something (ask to get your measurements!). make fun of her crumbling relationship vwith rose if you get the vwibe thats a thing. theres nothing wvrong wvith being a rebound, or ewven a sidepiece! all else fails, get her to touch you, especially if you can get a hand betwveen your legs. a lotta them are closet bulge addicts, some of them only learned that vwhen i taught them. absolutely ravwenous. this is less advwice and more a story, but i gotta givwe a shout out to this one rosie i used to hang wvith. you vwant a kanaya? get vwith a freak rose like this. she wvould outright goad me into messing vwith her kanaya, there wvas some long-distance shit going on, i dunno, but like... i dont ewven knowv if they ewver discussed the arrangement, but kannny lovwed it, rosie lowved hearing about it, and i lovwed texting the blondie vwhile kanny wvas taking care of me. nowv for the ratings bod: alwvays busty, alvways curwvy, its a jade thing i guess. got the elegant look going on too. not exactly her body, but one thing i lovwe about kanayas is her fashion sense. get creatiwve wvith her! if youvwe got one squirming under your touch, ask her to go put on something pretty. chances are, if you can imagine it, itll be in her closet. im bad at that kinda thing but its a damn good time. they all got real pretty lingerie on too, nevwer seen one vwithout something nice and frilly. she takes after porrim in all the best wvays. 10/10 vwariety: hmm... shes usually got the cool and collected thing going on, but the specifics of her relationships differ a lot. i guess thats the thing though, dunno if ivwe ewver met one that wvasnt dating a rose, its wveird. though, maybe thats partially my fault. i guess she can be a lil samey, but wvith a bod like that i can forgivwe her. 6/10 ease: kanayas usually take some doing. evwen if youvwe got her in the palm of your hand she might still make a fuss. its cute and all, but it takes effort to get her to properly put out. 5/10 personality: shes like a fine wvine, an acquired taste. mature, wvilling to banter a bit. i like her wvhen shes not boring. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. newver gonna be upset about finding a maryam. it takes a lil bit of doing to figure out if shell go for you, but if she aint a lesbian shell be a total slut. hot, ready, raring to go, only knock against her is it can be a lotta effort for something youwve seen a million times.
COMPUTER. make the mother fucking cream in this wicked image. PURPLE.
your natural aegyo it’s so refreshing
:33 < my fafurite facial expurression :33 < if only could make me do it right meow
yeah thats fair, did you see your placement on my list? passing on this wversion of you
and if you wanna know what my problem is get in line i’ve got a list and it’s so long it goes all the way around the block
hahahahahhahahahahahaahhahahahahahaha yesssssssssssss
honestly that’s a great impression of you i outdid myself i’ll post that myself if you don’t
my fangs are so long they’re jumbling crazy out of my talk maw and i’m also dying all the time constantly so i in fact am going to die if you don’t write a cute little post saying some shit like Ooo Like This Post For A Vulgar Yet Veracious Claim About Your Fuckability And My Teeth Are So Small So Smaller Than Folykl’s
come on maryam where’s the thread would you smash me or pass me chop chop and BTW my fangs are way bigger than yours unless there’s some sort of action you can take to prove me otherwise
BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, I WANT TO MAKE A SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST FOR THE RECOMMENDATION. I DON’T NECESSARILY THINK A “THANKS” IS IN ORDER, BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING TO THANK AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF ME ABOUT FOR BRINGING ME A FIRSTHAND VIEWING OF A BLANK, BLAND, AFFECTLESS SPRAWL OF THE SUBURBS IN ALL THEIR CONFORMITY AND PHILISTINISM, BUT I DIGRESS. IF NOTHING, YOU CERTAINLY GRABBED ME BY THE FRONDS AND MADE ME HOLD ON TIGHT FOR THE RIDE. LET’S DIVE IN. VIVARIUM IS A 2019 FILM FROM DIRECTOR LORCAN FINNEGAN THAT I ONLY MANAGED TO MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO WATCH BY MYSELF OUT OF PURE SPITE, BECAUSE SO MANY OF YOU SAID “OH KARKAT, HE’S SO FUCKING WEAKSLIME, HE WON’T BE ABLE TO SIT WITH HIMSELF AND HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN THE WAY THAT A HORROR FILM DEMANDS”. HA! TO THAT I GIVE A BIG, WET, JUICY FUCK YOU, BECAUSE I DID IT. SO THERE. THIS IS A FILM ABOUT A COUPLE, GEMMA AND TOM, WHO ARE IN THE MARKET FOR A HOUSEBLOCK AND WIND UP VISITING THIS CREEPY REALTOR FOR THE DEVELOPMENT KNOWN AS YONDER. MARTIN THE REALTOR HAS SOME *REAL* PROBLEMS. HE SPEAKS IN UNUSUAL CADENCE AND UNCOMFORTABLE DICTION, EVEN FOR MY OWN STANDARDS NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HUMAN SPEECH. HE CONVINCES THEM TO VISIT THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND LOOK AT THEIR POTENTIAL BLOCK, BUT WHEN THEY TURN THEIR BACKS, HE VANISHES, COLLIDE-AND-SCAMPER STYLE. THE COUPLE TRIES TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE, BUT THEY KEEP WINDING UP BACK AT THE SAME HOUSE AND EVENTUALLY DECIDE TO JUST SPEND THE NIGHT. WHEN A HUMAN (?) WIGGLER IN A BOX SHOWS UP WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS “RAISE THE BABY AND BE RELEASED” THEY REALIZE THAT SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER AND THEY’RE TRAPPED IN SOMETHING FAR MORE INSIDIOUS THAN THEY CAN IMAGINE. THAT’S THE RUNDOWN, I’M NOT GOING TO GO THOUGH THE WHOLE PLOT WITH YOU, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. WHAT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS ALL OF THE CYCLICAL DREAD LACED THROUGHOUT, AND THE DEEP, CAVERNOUS PIT THAT VIVARIUM’S INNATE NARRATIVE OF PARASITISM LEFT IN MY BELLOWSAC. SEE: “A NICE WIDE GAPING HOLE FOR THE MOST DREADFUL AND HOLLOW FILM I’VE SEEN IN THE LAST HOWEVER MANY SWEEPS”. I GENUINELY MEANT THAT. THE VERY FIRST SCENE YOU’RE GREETED WITH IS A CLOSE UP SHOT OF AN INFANT TALONSCREECHER, A CUCKOO TO YOU HUMANS, INFILTRATING THE NEST OF A REED WARBLER. THE CUCKOO FORCES ITS WAY INTO THE NEST AND KNOCKS THE WARBLER’S EGGS OUT, THEN ACTS AS THE OFFSPRING OF THE WARBLER, FORCING IT TO ACT AS ITS MOTHER. THE HUMAN WIGGLER THAT GEMMA AND TOM HAVE FORCED UPON THEM HAS A PARASITIC RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HUMANS, JUST LIKE THE CUCKOO DOES WITH THE WARBLER; DEVELOPING AN ABILITY TO MIMIC THE HUMANS SPEECH PATTERNS, AND SCREECHING WHEN IT WANTS SOMETHING. SO, THEY’RE LOOPED INTO BEING TRAPPED IN THEIR OWN “NEST” OF SORTS, RAISING THIS FREAK OF NATURE FROM BIRTH TO “ADULTHOOD”… AND THEN WHAT? THE PROMISE OF FREEDOM THAT (SPOILER) NEVER COMES? THIS IS WHAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE PUSHER: THE UTTER DESPAIR AND PURPOSELESS LIFE THEY LEAD AFTER THE DISCOVERY THAT THEY’RE EFFECTIVELY TRAPPED AND HAVE THEIR HORNS HANDED TO THEM. THEY EAT TASTELESS FOOD, THEY TAKE CARE OF THE MUTANT FREAK BOY WHEN HE SCREAMS, TOM TAKES UP DIGGING A GIANT HOLE IN THEIR FRONT YARD IN HIS DELUSION THINKING HE’S GOING TO GET SOMEWHERE WITH IT. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO THROW AN ALLEGORY OF “PARENTHOOD IS PARASITISM” OR “SUBURBAN LIFE IS A LIVING HELL” AT IT IMMEDIATELY, WHICH IS (I GUESS) FAIR ENOUGH TO PULL THAT JUDGEMENT. GEMMA AND TOM ARE NOW DESTINED TO SERVE THE PARASITE THEY’VE BEEN DISEASED WITH UNTIL IT NO LONGER NEEDS THEM, IN A HOLDING TANK, GESTATING IT UNTIL IT’S READY TO FLY OUT OF THAT NEST. THE REALTORBABY ISN’T EVEN NECESSARILY THE ENEMY HERE, BECAUSE HE EQUALLY PLAYS THE ROLE IN THIS CYCLE THAT IS NECESSARY FOR HIS OWN SURVIVAL; HE’S TO BE RAISED BY PARENTS THAT AREN’T HIS, THEN TAKE THE PLACE OF “MARTIN” AS A SUCCESSOR, ONLY TO REPEAT THE EXACT SAME STEPS. AND WHAT IS THE GOAL OF ALL OF THAT? I MEAN, ALL OF THE ENTRAPMENT, THE PARALLEL DIMENSIONS OF INSTANCES JUST LIKE GEMMA AND TOM’S HAPPENING ALL OVER IN THESE HORRIBLE POCKET NEIGHBORHOODS THAT SIT ON THE EARTH LIKE A BLISTER. WHAT IS IT? WHAT’S THE MEANING? THINGS ARE JUST THE WAY THINGS ARE. THERE IS NO DEEPER MEANING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES LIFE JUST…IS. THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL POINTLESSNESS, THE MONOTONY, AND THE MYSTERIES THAT STAY UNSOLVED ARE WHAT KEEPS IT FROM LEANING TOO FAR INTO ANYTHING THAT GOES BEYOND NEBULOUS THEORIZING, AND ULTIMATELY IS WHAT KEEPS IT MEANINGFUL IN A WAY. MOVIES THAT HAND IT TO YOU TOO EASILY ARE A LITTLE GRUB-FISTED. THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING LOOSE ENDS THAT NEVER FULLY GET EXPLAINED OR SPELLED OUT, LIKE THE TELEVISION AND BOOK FULL OF NONSENSE. THE MOVIE IS STEEPED IN SYMBOLISM, SO ANYONE WATCHING COULD MAKE SOME SORT OF ARGUMENT FOR PERHAPS A LOSS OF NATURE, BEING SWINDLED INTO THINKING YOU WANT SOMETHING SO DESPERATELY WHEN IN REALITY IT’S A BIT OF A MONKEY’S PAW, ALLEGRIES ON CONSUMER-CAPITALISM. MORE, PROBABLY, EXIST TOO. YOU COULD THROW A MILLION LARGER THEORIES AT IT AND MORE, LIKE SPECULATING ABOUT THE POINT OF THE ALIEN REALTOR SPECIES GOALS AND TRYING TO STRING EVERY DETAIL TOGETHER, ULTIMATELY, IT SIMPLY SERVES TO ILLUSTRATE INCOMPREHENSIBLE DREAD. A LOT OF REVIEWERS ONLINE LIKE TO BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT HOW IT ENDED BADLY; DID YOU ALL HAVE YOUR SPONGES REPLACED WITH YOUR WASTE CHUTES? INCREDIBLE. I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT IT ENDED “BADLY”, THAT IT DIDN’T END WITH THEM ESCAPING. THE INESCAPABILITY IS WHAT MADE IT SO CAPTIVATING, AND I WON’T HAVE ANY OTHER WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPETS TELLING ME OTHERWISE. I THINK I’M GONNA NEED A HAPPIER ONE AFTER THIS THOUGH, BECAUSE I HAD A DAYMARE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING YESTERDAY. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/B6DB58F654A9.JPEG
not this me im the #notgay one
>+. THEY WILL BE TAKING MY BLOOD. BUT BESIDES THAT .+<
yAY! i'M GLAD YOU GOT OVER YOUR FEAR OF, sURPRISE PARTIES, sTEYSI TOLD ME ALL ABOUT THAT WHEN i OBJECTED, oN THOSE GROUNDS, nOW COME HERE AND GIVE ME, a BIG HUG, aND ALSO PUT ON YOUR RECREATIONAL DUNCE CAP,
uMM, i MAY HAVE LOST, tHE CARD, aND, i SNAPPED THE SMALL KEYCHAIN ONE, aCCIDENTALLY SO THEY CAN'T SCAN IT,
wHY IS THAT? aND ALSO, wHY IS THAT?
HANG ON WAIT I'M SORRY I DID'T PROOFREAD THAT LAST PART OF THE CHITT BEFORE I SENT IT. NO. WAIT.
KANAYA. KANAYA, LISTEN TO ME. I AM TELLING THIS TO YOU BECAUSE I *GET* YOU. IF I KNEW THAT MY SURVIVAL COUNTED ON WHETHER OR NOT MY SUPREME MOIRAILLEGIANCE SKILLS COULD GET ME OUT OF A LIFE-OR-DEATH-BY-SLOW-TURGID-SUFFOCATION-TYPE SITUATION? I WOULD BE NERVOUS, TOO. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO REMEMBER WHAT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT *MEANS.* MEN. BIG MEN. BIG, RIPPLING MEN, WITH THEIR SWEAT-DRENCHED PECS AND THEIR CHIN-STRAP BEARDS AND THEIR ALMIGHTY FUCKITUDINALLY REPELLANT *MANNISHNESS.* THERE WILL BE *MEN* IN YOUR CAVERN, KANAYA. THE CAVERN THAT *YOU* ARE IN. NEAR *YOU.* SAPPHO LESBOS *HERSELF* WOULD BE SAD. AND THE ONES THAT *AREN'T* AS MANNISH? THE ONES YOU MIGHT CATCH A RIPPLING, SWEAT-DRENCHED WINK FROM? THAT MIGHT BE ALL IT TAKES. TO MAKE YOU A *HIVEWRECKER.* AND YOU'RE BETTER TO THAT. YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOUR STUPID HUMAN WIFE. SO GET IN THERE. AND PALE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS.
id come dowwn and conjure some grease but youd havve to let me into the cavverns first decisions decisions
I h8 it when you're merciful.
do you want a hit
i hate it when lusii are like “wtf don’t blow your vape smoke all over my grub” like bitch first of all it’s not smoke it’s some other shit plus scienstiffs don’t even know the ramifications of its hazards yet mf hoe
f0r me t0 laugh while this tree bedevils y0u.
< I mysself am quite fond of "Bitch". :>~
print("https://s5.ezgif.com/tmp/ezgif-51dbfb31d28dbe28.gif")
BASTARD.
BIYTCH.
you knoww you wwant to annihilate that disgustin shrubbery dowwn to the roots once and for all kan givve in to your impulses and destroy destroy until there is nothin left
dubiously acquired orphans for sale theyre fully growwn shutins wwhose dirt scrapin lusus nevver pushed out of the nest like they ought rightly do
i am t)(eir matriarc)( now and forever. no matter )(ow well you civilize t)(em; no matter )(ow muc)( "love" you give to t)(em, t)(eir base instincts will always supercede t)(e palliatives of )(uman touc)( you grant t)(em. i rule troll kind. i rule trolls. and your little world, one day, will kneel rig)(t wit)( it. and wit)( it t)(ose c)(ildren will turn on you to serve t)(eir rig)(tful ruler.
i )(ope t)(ey eat you alive.
@grimAuxiliatrix I am en route to the brooding caverns. Do I need. I don't know. A poncho. Is it going to be sticky. Or slime-ish. Should I change out of my suit. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d494e2a4b84f.jpg
And who is that???????
1TS C4LL3D L1V1NG 1N TH3 P4NST3M R3NT FR33 M1SS GR1M4UX1L14TR1X
thats the effect i typically have on women morbid fascination and disgust but remember block equals i win lololololol
ok step 2 of your anti normie education: if someone vagueposts hate reacts or blocks you then you win cuz it means youre living in their pan
vaguepost about me = i win
ok ok ok just for you well i dont wanna put you straight into boiling water so itd be beginner stuff basically just imagine if you did my day to day living in the junkyard climbing out from under the tarp when the sun sets mountain dew 2 liter and mysterious takeout breakfast playin katana zero on the cracked screen grubtendo switch sticking it in my moirails mouth whenever it runs out of battery that sort of thing
OHHH NO, I'M SUDDENLY FEELING ALL KINDS OF LOOSE-LIPPED! IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CONVINCE ME, PERHAPS WITHIN THE NEXT MESSAGE, I MIGHT BE FORCED TO TELL EVERYONE ON THE PUBLIC FORUM EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COFFEE MACHINE THAT ONE TIME AND HOW EXACTLY IT GOT FILLED WITH A BUNCH OF MYSTERIOUS FUCHSIA FLUID, THUS RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE FOREVER.
the SSSLUDGEMACHINE broke down while i wasss making a new batch of SSSLUDGE. doesss anyone want to buy a HALF FULL JAR OF SSSLUDGE?
when yo bulge itch so you genuinely just itch that shit but now your hands are all gross
wHOA, hOW DO i, gET THIS?
♯spill i am always ♯so ♯nosey to know what the ♯cloisters get up to
Wh/\t's with /\ll the yuri tod/\y///
THE REPORTS OF MY WIFE ARE GREATLY EXAGGERATED. SHE CAN INDEED BACK THAT THING UP AND DROP IT DOWN LOW
yay 3B-)
The consequences of hurting my feelings are dire.
i'll be real besties and baddies, I fell asleep.
SNEET
i'm "mogging" (?) you all with my kull score. eat shit. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3f5cc6cd6d1b.png
|| HAVE TO SPEND ONE OF MY FEW NIGHTS OFF HEADING BACK INTO WORK BECAUSE APPARENTLY I MISSED A REPORT | SOMEHOW | I’M NOT SURE HOW I COULD MISS A PIECE OF PAPER ON MY DESK BUT ||| FUCK | OVER ||
I am so unbelievably hungry right now. Wonder if I can reverse-engineer the captcha code for KFC's boneless fillets? Those were so fucking good... #foodforthought
Sorry if you just got random chills and heard a voice whisper to you while you're alone. My bad.
:o) I require someone to practice my rope ties on. :o( Such a shame a brother is without at present.
Ah. It would appear I have been… *granted access* to this quaint little platform you insist on calling “Chittr.” How novel. You see, I find it endlessly fascinating—this compulsive need your species has to compress its thoughts into neat, digestible fragments. As if brevity might somehow make them more… *true.* I assure you, it does not. Still, I suppose introductions are expected. You may refer to me as Doc Scratch. Titles beyond that would only complicate matters, and I would hate to burden you with details you are not yet prepared to understand. Suffice it to say, I am intimately familiar with each of you. Your posts, your choices, your… predictable little spirals of cause and effect. All of it has already been accounted for. Yes, even this. Especially this. Please, do continue as you were. I would not dream of interrupting the trajectory you are so diligently fulfilling. I am merely here to observe. …and, on occasion, to ensure that things proceed exactly as they must.
:33 < wake and bake, anypawdy else do that?? #substance
[Tell me a joke. Yes, this is a request.]
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 DAMN STRAIGHT.
wvowv such a shame i dont havwe a pretty little thing next to me #nsfwv
BIG THINGS HAPPENING. BIG, BIG THINGS HAPPENING. #POWERINGUP
Many ducks in a row, ready to be smacked into orbit with a golf club. I will get the respect I deserve.
GoD MeaT IS SO Yummers
how many of us are milk drinkers i be drinking a cup whenever i want
The liquor store is closed. Fuck. Do I go to the bar for this.
🎦 #cantstopwontstop this hype train is going 2 both moonz and beyond!!!!
🎦 very exciting newz u guyz!!! in collaboration with the simpsons (YES *THE* SIMPSONS) ill be "eating my shorts" on stream later 2nite!!!!!! make sure u tune in bcuz there might be a VERY special guest appearance partway through (ay caramba!)
;o)
uHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhH. hMm. Oh i kNoW. nAmE A MoThEr fUcKeR BaLsAk dIcBrO
>([w#at are u obsessed wit# me or somet#ing. lowkey got me blus#in out #ere kicking my feet and s#it]
>([everyone get divorced now if u need a lawyer i know a guy #es a real good man]
I was acquainted with a lawyer once, until I 8ecame the architect of her demise. How amusing.
8-> YOU KNOW THEY SAY THAT ALL CURRENCIES ARE MINTED EQUAL, BUT YOU LOOK AT #BITCHCOIN AND YOU LOOK AT #BRAZZLECOIN AND YOU CAN SEE THAT STATEMENT IS NOT TRUE. 8-> SEE, NORMALLY, IF YOU WAS TO TRADE ONE FOR ONE WITH ANOTHER COIN, YOU GOT A 50/50 CHANCE OF A POSITIVE RETURN. BUT #BITCHCOIN IS A GENETIC FREAK, AND IT'S NOT NORMAL! SO YOU GOT A 25%, AT BEST, AT BEAT #BITCHCOIN. 8-> SEE THE THREE WAY LOOP TOSS AT THE CURRENCY EXCHANGE, YOU GOT A 33 1/3 CHANCE OF PROFITING, BUT #BITCHCOIN, IT'S GOT A 66 AND 2/3 CHANCE OF PROFITING, BECAUSE #CHRISCOIN HOLDERS KNOW THEY CAN'T GO POSITIVE AGAINST #BITCHCOIN, SO THEY'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TRY! 8-> SO #BRAZZLECOIN HOLDERS, YOU TAKE YOUR 33 1/3 CHANCE, MINUS MY 25% CHANCE, AND YOU GOT AN 8 1/3 CHANCE OF PROFITING AT THE CURRENCY EXCHANGE. BUT THEN YOU TAKE #BITCHCOIN AND ITS 75% CHANCE OF PROFIT, IF IT WAS TO TRADE HEAD TO HEAD AGAINST #BRAZZLECOIN, AND THEN ADD 66 2/3 PERCENTS; #BITCHCOIN GOT A 141 2/3 CHANCE OF PROFITING AT THE CURRENCY EXCHANGE. 8-> SEE #BRAZZLECOIN THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE, AND THEY SPELL DISASTER FOR YOU AT THE CURRENCY EXCHANGE.
</3: Im Quite Sure There Are More Than A Few Unturned Women Who Would Gladly Have Their Bodice Ripped Off And Bitten
sTANDS, oN YOUR FEET?
get it girl!
A barkbeast being treated with dignity, moments before being sent to the laser eXplosion chamber. #Insprational #Heartwarming #AnimalCruelty #Free #CrueltyFree https://files.catboX.moe/X8jksa.jpg - MC Oleana
hot jadeblood >>omen in YOUR area are SINGLE and READY TO PAIL!!! fee >>ill be discussed at a later point #nsf>>
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That lad is obsessed with me. Seriously. #who_wouldnt_be
Is this /\ corpor/\te in\/estig/\tion? https://file.g/\rden//\I6w\/iUpTXp\/hj0P/chief-regul/\tor///
boobs #nsfwv
any cute jade g11rls 0ut there want t0 see my tw11ns #nsfw #th11s11sab0utmybulge
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 SHOOTERS SHOOT!!!
some dry humping never ruined a friendship. #nsfw
Weve all been there!
>([guys w#y does it kinda #urt w#en i pail]
what about...the midnight crew?
we can arrange this.
:o)
No particular reason. *____
slick vs english naked wrestling EXCLUSIVE EVENT sponsored by #dstrientertainment be there or be square oh and bring dollar bills baby
yOu bEtTeR Be. BeTtEr bE OoZiNg sTrAiGhT GrAtUiTy oUt tHaT MoThEr fUcKiN WoRd cHuTe yOu gOt, SiStEr
tHaT'S A KiNd oF WiCkEd bEaUtIfUl dElIgHt tHaT FeW In tHiS WoRlD EvEr gEt tO MoThEr fUcKiN AcCoMpLiSh. Be gRaTeFuL, yO.
whatever happened to freedom of movement? i can follow whoever i like.
this.is.your.daily.reminder.that.most.lowbloods.and.midbloods.actually.support.the.hemospectrum.and.heirarchy.do.not.be.fooled.by.extremists.posing.as.normal.on.this.website
ALRIGHT I GOTTA GO TO A MEETING. you motherfuckers behave now.
ummmm if our driver is here can he drive me out of this mortal coil #emo #nihilism #lifesucks
L+st? H+peless? Y+ur Ringmama will take y+u in with +pen fr+nds. All y+u strange little critters will be welc+me in my tent.
I'm Literally Just A Little Guy! Any Accusations That I've "committed A War Crime" Or "blown Up A Car" Are Blatant Lies! It's True! Just Ask One Of My Dear Husbands! :)
I kissed a troll and I threw up.
who up HONKIN they HORN right now? ;o) #nsfw
Woah, haha. That's SUPER forward. ♥️ I like that in a lady. ♥️ ;)
♠️ You are being SO culturally insensitive right now. ♠️ You know the lowbloods are aware of how significant this event is, right? They believe that dying by spear is the most honourable way to go. Who are you to speak over their primitive faith?
#nsfwe I can be trusted with the knowledge of the floor plan and blueprint of your house.
Is the plural milfs or milwves?
The old ball and chain said no more dog boy pics on main cause I’ve gotta go to bed or something. It’s like she doesn’t want me to find a man or successfully soft launch my OnlyStans. #heldback #divorcedbutmarried #stillnotgay #mankissier #nsfw #influencer
evveryone alwways wwants to touch them my felloww #seadwellers knoww what im talkin about
@grimAuxiliatrix
They freaked up out here.
theyre living their best lives
this place is like the town square a public space to dog on each other constantly some positive posting would be sick too though
Y'all are too judgy, smh.
I ALONE. AM THE HONORED ONE. KENJAKu. PRESuMABLY MOCKING. THAT DEAD BITCH GETO. MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. NO DIFFS CHOSO EFFORTLESSLY AND MAKES HIM SPANK. HIS OWN. STuPID. BLOODY. ECHOED REVERBY. ASSCHEEKS. FRONT TO BACK. NO BREAKS. NO INTERMISSIONS.
are the people in my phone okay
◥▶◀◤ —> Fle%ing right now
Nay, what is this "clit" thou speakest of?
i should be askin you that
wwhy are you me
(| ok so basically, the ranking goes like this: |) 1. bronze (perfect balance of fat and muscle. works with animals so good diet) 2. olive (a little more gamey than bronze but still serviceable) 3. jade (a Rare Treat. but when you get it the quality of the Meat is obvious) 4. violet (not everyone is into the fishy taste but i honestly don't mind) 5. cobalt (some people think it's better than bronze but i disagree) 6. rust (very cheap but definitely mediocre. poor diet and really chewy) 7. teal (very bland. diet consists mainly of Junk Food so not very nutritious) 8. purple (tastes funny. will get you Zooted As Hell so not for the weak) 9. gold (honestly just tastes gross and burnt usually. bad diet too) 10. indigo (really good diet but inedibly tough. impossible to enjoy) (| i'm not especially picky though. these are just objective rankings |)
it's ok kanaya, i was also thinking the same thing.
BUT YOU WILL. GIVE IN JADE BLOOD, GO WILD.
*still whispering* no
GOOD
just dont go, what'r3 th3y gonna do, fir3 you?
[ Hey guys.] [ Im a FLARPer of several sweeps and i am gonna use this account to document some of the weirder and cooler things that have happened in the community over the years.] [ Follow for more!][]