♠ hated by @paleHighblood
- I see. So mmy attemmpts at affection aren't good enough for you then. I thought you liked being "palebaited." Well. Shamme on mme. I suppose I was wrong. ※ NOTICE: I will be discontinuing all scheduled and autommatically shipped orders of the mminiature flora, by the way. I don't expect that we'll need it anymmore.
※ URGENT NOTICE: Do *not* call it a pitch fit. If I were vacillating for you right now, you'd be able to tell. ※ ADDENDUM: And your prongsies are cold.
-- PINNED POST -- You are THE LUNARCH, and you are the uncontested CHAMPION CULLTAKER of Beforan Ethically Subjugated Entity 41014. Mostly because that's KIND OF A THING YOU TRAILBLAZED YOURSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Some trolls like to tell you that CULLING YOUR BELOVED LESSERS is not inherently an Imperial Assignment, and to that you say COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG, BROTATO CHIP. COME TO MY CRANIAL STEM OF THE WOODS AND SEE IF YOU DON'T END UP CULLCHOW. You were practically still in your larval molt when you achieved your wildest dreams of GLOBAL FIDUSPAWN CHAMPIONSHIP. In fact, your status as a COMMODIFIED BEAST ZEALOT shot your wriggler ass straight up the rankings of LUCKY ELITE AGENTS designated worthy of leaving your home planet for the POMON COLONY CLUSTER- the home of the FIDUSPAWN, where they are carefully biomanufactured for WALLET-DEFYING SHOWMANSHIP AND FESTIVITY. 41014 is the TROPICAL SHINING JEWEL of this miniature paradise (within the larger and MOST UNIMPEACHABLE BEFORAN UTOPIA of course) and alongside your beloved STARBAT LUSUS and your MILITARY GRADE FIDUSPAWN, you defend 41014 and its troll inhabitants from INTERDIMENSIONAL HORRORS BEYOND MORTAL COMPREHENSION. You also HOST TOURNAMENTS on the hiveturf in search of BEFORUS' BEST AND BRIGHTEST TRAINERS, and have remained PRETTY FUCKING FAMOUS for bringing the beatdown on and off the battlefield. Frankly, you don't remember or care how the hell they did things before you showed up, because they're FUCKIN' WITH THE BIG BEASTS NOW. It is rare that a purple such as yourself reach a caliber of excellence that they are permitted to oversee more than a small handful of warmerbloods, but you are nothing if not a RECORD-BUSTING MONSTER in all aspects of life. Each of the terrestrial-dwelling inhabitants of 41014 lives, works hard, and PARTIES HARDER under your DOTING STEWARDSHIP. In exchange for your UTTER DEVOTION and INTERPLANETARY CELEBRITY SPONSORSHIP, it seems like a pretty low toll to demand your faithful underlings LOVE, SUPPORT AND TRUST YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. What will you do?
Venturing into hostile territory. #FeltOpening
Christ of yore, I am sucked into this corset. I feel like a can of biscuits busting out of this sucker. No, Unreal Heiress. Don't post that.
Big changes coming! @involuntarilyLulzworthy Your "throne" awaits. :B
꧁@paleHighblood #nsfw #bulgerating #chucklevoodoos #newformat Okay everyone. This is a unique one! The stats basically matter less than they should, which is humiliating to admit, because ordinarily I like numbers to stay where I put them. Strength: 5. Pliability: 7. Length: 6. Girth: 4. X-Factor: 9. Purpleblood, yes. Beforan, yes. Highblood, yes. Still modest. Sorry. The Baronair’s bulge is bullying my pan. It has decent give, better response to attention than force, and a very strange relationship with authority. I do not think it impresses by size. I think it impresses by getting everyone nearby to behave like size was never the most important part. The X-Factor is through chuckleconditioning. Lowbloods, office cullployees, moirails with poor stress management, cullployee host bar applicants, and whatever the Annalist is doing near the desk are all part of the field around it. Try being told to get on the desk near this bulge. You will probably feel better and worse. There's almost a radiating warmth from it. As bleak as this troll can be at times, it makes my pan feel better just communing with it. His bulge is not overly large. That is probably why it has developed an entire office around itself. Cigar smoke. Scotch. Cold slime. Petroleum residue. Expensive chair leather. Stress-sweat. A little panic. Old money pretending it is comfort. It smells like a cigar lounge built inside a recuperacoon, and I regret how much that explains. Taste is bitter smoke, dark sugar, salt, and something medicinal from the cigars. Texture is smooth, warm, and more responsive than the measurements deserve. There is no severe ridge profile, no dramatic purpleblood overdevelopment, no historic caste nightmare hiding under the desk. The underside is sensitive enough to explain the bossiness. Not justify it. Explain. The Baronair is ideal for anyone trying to experience Beforan highblood workplace meionics without being physically overwhelmed. Small. Bossy. Desk-certified. Huskboard-adjacent. Better in a lap than in a joust. Palind Pinnip is for communing. The Baronair is for being managed.꧂
[you are genu1nely so pathet1c 1t’s not even funny. have you cons1dered gett1ng culled a second t1me to see 1f they can get 1t r1ght? or perhaps a th1rd? th1rd t1mes the charm they say]
Or you guys could | You know | Find an auspistice or something ‧₊˚🧹
- So you pity himm mmore than you pity mme. That's what you're saying? - If you are so intent on devoting all of your timme to a singular prospective cullee, then perhaps I should mmake mmyself mmore Helpful to you. ※ PROPOSAL: Why don't I arrange for a Stipulation of Transfer of Culling Order. Since you've deigned that he needs the attention so sorely. - Do you have any preferred references for who mmight want to take over mmy culling? If not, I'mm sure there's at least one friendly punter at the hoofbeast tracks who'll find mme suitably pitiful in all necessary senses.
- Seemms he needs tended to often these days. ※ TONE INDICATED: I'mm not jealous.
[AL$O WHY AM I $EEING $O MANY OLD GEEZER$ ON MY FEED?? THANK #OD MY AN#E$TOR I$ DEAD OR WE WOULDVE HOPPEN ON #HITTR LOOKING FOR MIDDLE AGED HOTTIE$ IN HI$ AREA #N$FW]
NIGHTLY WAGERS: Re: Race 1 @ Coddlemman Park. Allowance. 6 1/2 furlongs. Dirt. Where I belong, personally. - I probably shouldn't be playing tonight. But the Assister Helpmmeet needs to feel sommething, and he's cutting back, so it's fine. And he's not wearing the cheesebeast ears fromm Work still, so don't ask. - Boxed exacta on 13 and 9. - * No. 13: Burgundy Desire (M/L=9/2), No. 9: Little Cocoon (M/L=21) - I can't help but want to bet on the under-barkfriend, squeak squeak. Here's hoping these ones are mmore like OVERbeasts, instead. ;-) What does your ticket say? <> c3< #BeforusBigBets #BeforusSmmallBets
wow, you really must have lost your wh1msy huh. whatever, not my problem! 1m mov1ng on lol bye
https://msparp.chat/ucedestorment oh no who put that there on my d1g1tal cl1pboard
well now look whos crawl1ng back
you guys are 1mposs1ble
you can not be posting llike this
- If you were really sorry, you'd take your taste mmuscle and put it to all of that ragu on the floor. I'mm deducting friendpoints fromm your grand total for this.
➡️I am sorry, Welpmeet.➡️
- I don't care anymmore whatever size load it is I'll just take it ※ REMINDER: PLEASE. YOU CAN'T UN-CULL ME. Bbaaaabbbeee
- Sir mmay I also see you in your office block please
- OHHH. Seriously? You don't think I'mm SERIOUS about our vow? So all of those sweeps of being faithful to you while I got asked, *BEGGED* for pile service day after ding-dong freaking DAY mmean nothing to you? - RIGHT. But I'mm not serious the mmomment a bouncier, younger Tsurga shammbles in. Right, don't mmind the fact that our genetic donations have produced at least 5-11 descendants with, potentially, direct heritability. PAY NO MIND to the fact that I've commmmitted to spending the *entirety* of mmy lifespan with YOU, even when I know you'll probably take another mmoirail after I die. - None of that mmatters because I'mm against the idea of training mmy younger, alternate self to do all your favorite tricks. Hmmmm! I wonder why!!!!!!
➡️I have fixed my cravat and am willing to step up where a more weary employee will buckle.➡️ ➡️He must be overworked and overpaid, swallowed in the sea of his own doubt. Cordial Findash placed 4th in his last 100 meter yard gallop, the third consecutive nearfail of his young career. Bad percentages, he won't be favored to win.➡️ ➡️I am both an analytical tactician and host, potential.➡️ ➡️Will they swallow my key all the same.➡️ ➡️Champagne tower.➡️ ➡️Your best friend sips his bubbly. Final song.➡️