KARKAT VANTAS, THE CHALKBOX
@carbolicGalvanologist
IF YOU USE MY TITLE WHEN I'M NOT ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN A WORK-RELEVANT CAPACITY, PREPARE TO RECEIVE MY FIERY, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB BEAM. FROM ORBIT. EMPLOYED FULL-TIME BY THE FELT. โฆ๏ธ๐.โฃ๏ธ๐.โ ๏ธ๐
IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. BEFORE FuCKSTuPID SLANDER HIT THE TIMELINE. SO CALLOuSLY STuPID IN FACT. SO VACuOuSLY DuMBFuCKERY RIFE. SO INSIPID AND TERMINALLY IDIOTIC. SO. PREDICTABLY AND PATENTLY OFFENSIVE. THAT IT WOuLD MERIT A RESPONSE. FROM THE HIGHEST AuTHORITY IN ALL THE FELT. BLAME IT ON THE DRINKS. BLAME IT ON THE #SuBSTANCE YOu CONSuMED. BLAME IT EVEN ON THE SPINE SHEDDINGLY TERRIFIC TIMOROuSNESS THAT MY LOOMING. ALL INSPIRING PRESENCE AFFORDS YOu. BuT DO NOT DARE THINK FOR ONE SECOND I WILL ALLOW THE LOT OF YOu. TO BLAME IT ON uNAPOLOGETIC AND uNAVOIDABLE IGNORANCE. AS WE ALL KNOW. KNOWING THINGS. IS ONTOLOGICALLY MORE GOOD THAN NOT KNOWING THEM. WALLOWING IN THE PITIABLY PuTRID MINES OF MORONIA. OF KHAZAD-DรMBASS. AS THE DWARVES SAY. IS NOT A VERY GOOD WAY TO LIVE. IT IS NOT A WAY TO LIVE AT ALL. REALLY. TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST. FuLL DISCLOSuRE. ALL CARDS ON THE TABLE. CORPSES OuT OF THE BASEMENT. SKELETONS EVACuATED FROM THE CLOSET. IT IS AN AWFuLLY GOOD WAY TO GET KILLED. VERY VERY PERMANENTLY. BuT IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS TO THE LESS THAN FORTuNATELY BRAIN ENDOWED. AND AS A PART OF AN ONGOING REPAYMENT TO THE STuPID PEOPLE OF SOCIETY. WHO CANNOT BE HELD ACCOuNTABLE FOR VICTIMIZING THEMSELVES WITH THEIR OWN STuPID. I OFFER A CRITIQuE. WHILE NEEDLE NECKED HARPIES. AND OuT OF TOuCH YOCKEL DIPSHITS. RALLIED AROuND MY LOYAL SERVANTS. TO GAWK AND GLOAT. @comedyGold AND @carbolicGalvanologist BOTH HELD THE LINE. THEY PREACHED THE TRuTH. AS THEY WERE MOCKED AND DRESSED DOWN. FOR THE CRIME OF BEING MESSIANIC. BEYOND THEIR WISE ASSS MORTAL LIFE-LED YEARS. AS ALPHAS-IN-TRAINING. WHEN EVEN A DECEIVER. A SEWER OF DISCORDS. A *TYPICAL* WOMAN. @therapistofThedeepone TRIED TO TAKE CREDIT FOR A MAN. AND A FuNNY WOMAN. BEING RIGHT. IN A MAN'S WORLD. ABOuT A MAN. AS DESCRIBED. BY A MAN. AND A FuNNY WOMAN. WHICH IS MAN ADJACENT. AS ALL OF THIS TRANSPIRED. FuCKED uP AND GuTSY MOVE PRESENTED WITHOuT PROOF. MY MEN. MY SOLDIERS. MY INFINITE INFANTRY. ARE NOT THE HELPLESS LITTLE EMPTY HEADED NINNIES INCAPABLE OF GREAT IDEAS AND VALuABLE INSIGHTS. WITHOuT YOuR OVIPOSITIONING LITTLE IDEA EGGS TO HATCH ON TOP OF THEIR FuCKING CONCAVE ASS INWARDLY BOWING HEADS. RIGHT INTO BIG SPARKLY LIGHTNING IN A BuLBOuS BOTTOM BOTTLE. IDEAS ARE NOT PLANTED. THEY ARE SHARED. AND YOuR SHARE. IS TWENTY FIVE PERCENT. SO *TH* ROSE. THAT IS YOuR TWENTY FIVE PERCENT OF A THANK YOu. MY MEN WILL BE COMPENSATED. MuCH GREATER. IN BOTH RECOGNITION OF THE MERITS OF THEIR ANALYSIS. AND AS CONSIDERATION. NEVERTHELESS. I AM PLEASED TO INTRODuCE. AS WAS SPECuLATED. ONE OF MANY CHARACTERS IN MEDIA. WHO ARE LITERALLY ME. MORIARTY. FROM THE HuMAN MASTERPIECE. KNOWN AS SHERLOCK GNOMES. IGNORE THE KISSY FACE PREDECESSOR. GNOMEO AND JuLIET. uTTER HORSESHIT. uNWORTHY OF DISCuSSION. BuT THE SEQuEL. MuCH LIKE MORIARTY'S MACHINATIONS FROM THE MOVIE PROPER. IS ART. THE DESIRE. NO. OBSESSION. WITH COMPLEXITY. WITH A REVENGE THAT PREYS ON THE WEAKNESSES OF OTHERS. THE WILLINGNESS TO ABSTAIN FROM KILLING. PuRELY TO SHOW HOW CLEVER WE ARE. THE THEATRICALITY. HIS PLAN MAKES PERFECT FuCKING SENSE. AND WHILE HIS AMBITIONS. OF SMASHING GARDEN GNOMES IN LONDON. IS NOT AS FAR REACHING AS. SAY. CONSuMING uNIVERSES. AND MuRDERING ROVING PANTHEONS OF DIPSHIT LOSERS. THE JOuRNEY OF ONE THOuSAND BODIES. STARTS WITH A SINGLE STEP AND SHANK. THE FIRST DEATH I EVER CAuSED. WAS MY SISTER. AND I BET. IF MORIARTY HAD A SISTER. HE WOuLD KILL HER TOO. JuST. LIKE. LITERALLY. ME.
AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE MOST GLARING PARALLEL OF THEM ALL โ THE FACT THAT IN A MOVIE THAT'S LITERALLY ABOUT A BUNCH OF UNHOLY ANIMATED LAWNRING ORNAMENTS SPAWNED FROM A WORLD THAT WAS PROTOTYPED AT EVERY LEVEL WITH THE SPIRIT OF HUMAN ELTON JOHN WHO ARE ALL *INCHES* TALL, THIS CACOPHONOUSLY ANNOYING SHITHEEL OF A VILLAIN IS STILL SQUAT AS FUCK NEXT TO ALL OF THEM. PARADOX SPACE CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
ATTENTION NOOKSUCKERS ANONYMOUS, AKA #ABCC VIEWERS NEW AND OLD: THE #ABCC-GMT VIEWING OF STRANGE MAGIC IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES UNTIL I START IT, SO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND #GETIN.
THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I CAN'T STAND TO MISS. WATCHING THIS HAPPEN BEYOND MY REACH HAS ME RATTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGE AND WAILING IN ANGUISH. IT'S SO FUCKING OVER. SAY HI TO BOGGY FOR ME.
@handMaid THEY'RE WATCHING THE MOVIE YOUR SAUCY EVIL HUSBAND IS IN. HE MISSES YOU.
CH4LK #N33DD4T
IF THERE EVER COMES A DAY THAT YOU'RE STANDING WITHIN PRONG'S REACH OF ME, YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY CHALK. TRUST ME. IT'S THE *ONE* KIND YOU DON'T WANT TO LICK.
>:?
TAKE A LOOK AT MY TITLE. THE ONE THE CUEBALL SLAPPED ON ME WHEN HE ROPED ME INTO JOINING THE FUCKING FELT. THE ONE THAT REFERS TO THE CHALK I POSSESS. THE CHALK THAT IS A FUCKING *JUJU*. A JUJU THAT *REDACTS REALITY.* DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT A REDACTION TASTES LIKE, TEREZI. WOULD IT BE WORTH REDACTING YOUR TASTE MUSCLE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. WOULD IT.
1S TH4T 4 R34L QU3ST1ON? OF COURS3 1 GOTT4 F1ND OUT TH3 T4ST3 OF R3D4CT1ON >:]
SIGH. NO MATTER WHERE OR WHEN YOU'RE FROM, YOU'RE STILL SHITHIVE MAGGOTS IN EVERY TIMELINE. NEVER CHANGE, TEREZI.
JUST FOR YOUR 1NFORM4T1ON 1 DO CH4NG3 4LR1GHT >:?
HOPEFULLY NOT INTO A GIANT RED ERROR SCREEN. POINT IS. THE EVIL CURSED JUJU CHALK IS OFF-LIMITS.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS SHITMONGRELS OF CHITTR DOT ING. THIS IS THE LEADER OF #ABCC SPEAKING. ONCE AGAIN, DESPITE ALL MY CAREFUL INSTRUCTIONS, THE STEWARDSHIP OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB AND ALL ITS GLORY FALLS TO ME. WHICH I'M HONESTLY FINE WITH, BECAUSE WHO BUT THE LEADER OF FUCKING EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME IS GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE AROUND HERE IF I DON'T LEAD BY EXAMPLE. SO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAY AND HOW I SAY IT. I WILL BE HOSTING THE #ABCC-PST #WATCHPARTY OF: SHERLOCK GNOMES. I KNOW. I WOULD HURL MYSELF HORNFIRST INTO THE OPEN HOPPER OF A WOODCHIPPER BEFORE I SAT DOWN FOR THE ENTIRETY IF THIS MOVIE IF IT WASN'T THE LITERAL FIRST WIPE OF THE NEW ABCC. TROLL ELTON JOHN, STAY MY FURIOUS TYPESTUBS. I'M TRYING TO BE MERCIFUL. SO IT'S FUCKING #GNOMEWEEK. WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT. AND I PROMISE YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT. RATED PG (PUNGENT GRUBSAUCE). COME ON. IT'S FUCKING SHERLOCK GNOMES. MOVIE STARTS AT 7 PM PST *SHARP*, SO YOU'LL WANT TO SHOW UP EARLY AND RSVP EVEN EARLIER. WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS, HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG *AND* THE #ABCC-PST TAG SO YOU CAN LIVEBLOG WITH ANY OTHER ASSHOLE WHO HAPPENS TO HOST THEIR OWN VIEWING (UNLIKELY, BUT WE'RE SETTING A PRECEDENT, HERE). AND HEY. GUESS WHAT. IF YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, A FILM OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU'D LIKE TO SUBMIT, OR ANY OTHER REASON TO BOTHER THE FUCK OUT OF ME AND MY CABAL OF LOYAL FILMLEADERS, CHECK OUT THE OFFICIAL ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMAS SITE. ANYTHING YOU DON'T GET HERE WILL PROBABLY MAKE MARGINALLY MORE SENSE THERE. IF NOT, I CAN'T HELP YOU. I CAN ONLY DIAGNOSE YOU WITH STAGE FOUR DUMBFUCK DISEASE. REMEMBER โ I CAN'T GUARANTEE I'LL BE THE ONE HOSTING THESE EVERY WIPE, ANYMORE. THE FUTURE OF ABCC IS IN YOUR GREASY, GORMLESS HANDS NOW, CHITTR. DO ME PROUD AND DON'T FUCK IT UP. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW. RSVP BELOW WHILE SPACES LAST. AND #GETIN.
โง I'd like to RSVP for this one.
HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON, OLD MAN. HAVEN'T YOU ENDURED ENOUGH GNOMES FOR ONE FUCKING LIFETIME. I FEEL LIKE I'M PUNCHING DOWN IF I SHOW THIS TO YOU, AFTER THE WIPE YOU'VE HAD.
BOR3333D >:[
DON'T YOU HAVE A CHALK-FESTOONED WALL TO BASH YOUR HEAD ON, OR SOMETHING. OR SOME INEDIBLE SUBSTANCE YOU CAN BE GNAWING ON. IT'S THE FUCKING INTERNET. BOREDOM IS A CRIME. HAS TROLL BO BURNHAM NOT MADE THIS CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU.
G4V3 M3 ON3 1D34 H3R3! T4K1NG 4 CHUNK FROM YOUR W4LL R1GHT NOW >:]
YOU PUT THAT RIGHT THE FUCK BACK, TEREZI. I DON'T CARE WHAT TIMELINE YOU CAME FROM. YOU KNOW I'LL THROW HANDS. I'LL GET THE BROOM.
xx_mouf_hurty_ate_2_much_sweet_stuff_xx
IS THIS YOU.
What @carbolicGalvanologist was doing these past two weeks.
YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW MUCH VISIBLE MUSCLE A SHORT BITCH CAN PUT ON IN TWO WEEKS. UNRELATED TO ME. JUST AN OBSERVATION. I HAVE NO OFFICIAL COMMENT ON MY HEIGHT WHATSOEVER.
Hi I'm Rose and this is my fifth mead.
THOSE ARE BOTH THE SAME OPTION, IF YOU'RE NASTY. BUT I'M ECHOING CO-KARKAT'S INITIAL SENTIMENT. GIRL WHAT.
BOOM. YOU SAID WHAT I WAS THINKING.
IDENTICAL FORK FOUND IN THE SAME UTENSIL JAIL IN THE SAME NUTRITIONBLOCK.
should i try hosting an #abcc thing tonight? #abcc-filmleader #watchparty
HELL YES. GO FOR IT. TAKE THAT, YOU LIMP-FRONDED FUCKWEASELS. LET IT BE KNOWN. LET THE WORLD FUCKING KNOW. THE FIRST PERSON TO ACTUALLY VOLUNTEER TO BE AN #ABCC-FILMLEADER WAS SARA FUCKING MENDEL. PROPS TO YOU FOR GIVING A FUCK.
have at it!!!
currently trying to decide what the movie should be i got 2 choices in mind
YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO BACK AND READ THE ORIGINAL CHITT. OR READ THE "HOW TO" PART OF THE WEBSITE. BECAUSE THE MOVIE WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU EVEN SIGNED UP FOR THIS, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TK BE REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED IF YOU START GOING OFF THE RAILS RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. I KNOW IT'S AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY TO ASK THIS OF THE AVERAGE CHITTR USER, BUT. *READ.*
IT'S BEEN A MINUTE SINCE I DID THIS. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITGLOBES, ARE YOU IN FOR ONE. AHEM. ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. THIS IS THE LEADER OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB SPEAKING. LET'S JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE SOMETHING. IT'S BEEN A DAMN LONG WAY HERE. FROM SHITTY, IMPROMPTU WATCH PARTIES THAT CLAWED THEIR WAY OUT OF THE DIGITAL LOAM LIKE THE DAYWALKERS OF YORE TO THE SINGLE MOST ACTIVE TAG I'M DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR, #ABCC HAS BEEN A WILD FUCKING RIDE. SO WILD THAT AGAINST MY BEST WISHES, THOUGH I FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO HANG ONTO MY SWEET, CINEMATIC VICES, I HAD TO GIVE MY UGLY WIGGLER OF A FILM CLUB UP FOR ADOPTION. AND ITS MIXED-SPECIES LUSII, @therapistofThedeepone and @arsenicCatnaps NURTURED AND CARED FOR THAT UGLY WIGGLER WHILE I WAS GONE, EVEN WHILE IT WAS HAVING ITS SHITTY, TANTRUMATIC PUPASCENT PHASE AND FORCING THEM TO SIT THROUGH NOT ONE, BUT TWO OF THE SHITTIEST INSTALLMENTS IN A FRANCHISE THAT IS OTHERWISE SO DAMN GOOD. AND YET ABCC STANDS. IT STANDS TALL. IT STANDS PROUD. AND IT HAS PROVED THAT IT CAN STAND WITHOUT ME. CHITTR. THIS IS MY GIFT TO YOU. #ABCC IS YOURS. NO, I'M NOT PUNTING IT OUT OF MY LIFE AND MOVING ON TO DO OTHER SHIT. I LIKE IT WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH. BUT I *DO* NEED TO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO FUCK OFF AND HANDLE MY DISGUSTINGLY ANNOYING CHALKBOXLY DUTIES, NOW AND AGAIN. WELL. ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW. BUT I ALWAYS MEANT FOR ABCC TO BE *CHITTR'S* THING, NOT JUST *MY* THING. YOU GUYS HAVE PROVEN THAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU. THAT YOU LIKE HAVING IT AROUND. SO HERE. IT'S YOURS. NOW, IN A FORMAT THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE ONE BELEAGUERED, OVERWORKED DIPSHIT TO GRIND HIMSELF TO THE BONE TO HOST TWO MOVIE LIGHTS A WIPE. YES, THAT MEANS I'M GIVING YOU BACK WEDNESDAY. YOU'RE WELCOME, CHITTR. LOOK HOW FUCKING GENEROUS I AM. I'M FIRMLY GRASPING THE FLAG I PLANTED ON HUMP DAY AND YANKING IT OUT OF THE FESTERING WOUND. NATURE ABHORRS A VACUUM, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT FILLS IT. IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD. INSTEAD, I'M CONSOLIDATING EVERYTHING ONTO FRIDAY. THE END OF THE WIPE. THE CESSATION OF THE GRIND. THE DEEP, CATHARTIC BACKWARDS LEAP ONTO THE LOUNGEPLANK WITH A BOWL OF RUPTUREKERNELS AND/OR FRIED LOCUSTS AND WHATEVER THE FUCK IS ON THE SCREEN. BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M ON ABOUT, LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. AHEM X2 COMBO. LISTEN CAREFULLY, SHIT-FOR-SPONGE. #ABCC, THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB, IS MANY THINGS. IT'S A PLACE. IT'S A PEOPLE. IT'S A COMMON VISION. IT'S THE SOLE, ARDENT BASTION, SPEARING HIGH INTO THE SKY WITH ITS CRUMBLING, CRENELLATED SPIRES ABOVE A FECULENT WASTELAND OF SHITTY, SLOPPED-OUT MEDIA. BUT EVEN MORE THAN THESE THINGS, ABCC IS, FIRST AND FOREMOST, A LIST. A LIST OF FINE CINEMA โ "SINNIES," IF IT TICKLES YOUR FUCKWITTED FANCY โ CURATED BY YOUR FELLOW #ABCC-FILMLEADERS HERE AT THE CLUB EVERY WIPE AND SLAPPED IN THE TOWN SQUARE FOR ALL TO GORMLESSLY GAWK AT ON THE #ABCC-SINLIST. YOU CAN FIND THIS WIPE'S MOVIES ON THAT TAG, OR ON THIS SITE. "BUT KARKAT," I HEAR YOU WHINE, HOWLING LUGUBRIOUSLY THROUGH YOUR DROOLING YAPGASH. "WHO HOSTS THE ACTUAL #WATCHPARTY?" YOU DO, DIPSHIT. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL A PART OF ABCC. AND IT NEEDS YOU TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. IF YOU WANT TO HOST AN ABCC SHOWTIME VIA HYPERBEAM, MAKE YOUR OWN CHITT (AND LINK IT TO THE SINLIST) WITH THE #ABCC-FILMLEADER AND THE #WATCHPARTY TAGS, SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY STEPPING UP TO TAKE SOME FUCKING INITIATIVE. IF YOU WANT TO JOIN A SHOWTIME, LOOK FOR THOSE SAME TAGS. ADDITIONALLY, IN OUR INFINITE FUCKING MAGNANIMITY, ABCC SHOWTIMES ARE TAGGED BY TIMEZONE. USE THE #ABCC-GMT/#ABCC-EST/#ABCC-PST TAGS TO LET EVERYONE KNOW WHICH OF THE CORRESPONDING MOVIES FOR THAT TIME YOU'LL BE HOSTING. SEARCH BY TIMEZONE TO FIND A SHOWTIME NEAR YOU, OR ATTEND ANY COMBINATION OF THEM IF YOU HAVE THE TIME. I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING LUSUS, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. NOW YOU โ YES, YOU, YOU GREASY-PRONGED PUSTULE SITTING BEHIND THE SCREEN โ CAN HAVE YOUR VERY OWN #WATCHPARTY WITH YOUR OWN GROUP OF UP TO ELEVEN OTHER DUMBFUCKS OF YOUR CHOOSING. NO NEED TO FIGHT OVER TWELVE FINITE SEATS IN ONE OFFICIAL THEATER โ NOW, THE THEATER IS EVERYWHERE. YOU'RE THE THEATER, CHITTR. IT'S YOU. BECOME AN #ABCC-FILMLEADER. HOST A #WATCHPARTY AND SHOW WHATEVER MOVIE ON THE #ABCC-SINLIST IS HAPPENING IN YOUR TIMELINEZONE. FILMLEADERS โ START AT THE EXACT TIME SPECIFIED, AND THEN HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG SO YOU CAN LIVEBLOG TO YOUR PUSHER'S CONTENT. HAVE INVOLVED DISCUSSIONS, MEANINGFUL THOUGHTS, OR JUST SHITPOST AND MEME IT THE FUCK UP FOR THREE OR FOUR HOURS, IF YOU WANT. IT'S UP TO YOU. YOU GET TO BE A PART OF IT. NOW YOUR THEATER BUDDIES ARE ANYONE ON THE TAG WHILE THE MOVIE IS PLAYING. WE'RE ALL IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER, BUMPING PRONGHINGES AND STEALING EACH OTHER'S RUPTUREKERNELS WHILE WE'RE NOT LOOKING. EVERYWHERE THAT MOVIES ARE AROUND TO BE WATCHED, EVERYWHERE THAT YOU DECIDE TO JUMP IN ON A SYNCHRONOUS DIGITAL SHITFEST COORDINATED BY A BUNCH OF YAMMERING ASSHOLES WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO โ SO LONG AS YOU'RE ON THE TAG, WE'LL BE DOING IT TOGETHER. BECAUSE WE ARE. THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB. ALSO, GUESS WHAT. YOUR NEW COUNCIL OF ABCC FILMLEADERS HAS CONVENED AND SUMMARILY OVERRULED ME. SO YOU'LL BE ENTHUSED TO KNOW WHAT THIS WIPE'S THEME IS. IT'S FUCKING #GNOMEWEEK. I COULDN'T TELL YOU WHY. THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. I LITERALLY ASKED THEM WHAT THEME THEY WANTED, AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THEY ALL SAID "GNOMES." SO HERE. HERE ARE THREE INSIPID, SPONGE-NUMBING ANIMATED FILMS TO KICK OFF THE NEW CLUB FORMAT WITH A BRIGHT, CELEBRATORY FLASH OF LUNG-LACERATING PIXIE DUST AND ALL THE HUMAN ELTON JOHN YOU CAN STAND. DON'T BE MAD AT ME. I DIDN'T PICK THEM. ... OKAY, I PICKED STRANGE MAGIC. BUT ONLY AS AN OPENER TO THE FUCKING GNOMES. FAIRIES ARE KIND OF LIKE GNOMES. NO NEED TO RSVP โ NOT UNLESS I DECIDE I'M ACTUALLY HOSTING ONE OF THESE. I VERY WELL MIGHT NOT, BUT HEY. I MIGHT SHOW UP TO SOMEONE ELSE'S. MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF YOU FEEL LIKE HOSTING ONE YOURSELF, SIGN UP. MAKE A CHITT. LINK IT IN THE COMMENTS. TAG THE FUCK OUT OF IT. THE TAGS ARE OUR FUCKING BREAD AND GRUBSAUCE, HERE. USE THEM. THOROUGHLY. OH, AND IN CASE YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO READ THE MAJORITY OF MY (ADMITTEDLY MORE AGONIZING) TIRADE ON HERE, THEN MAYBE YOU'D HAVE AN EASIER TIME READING IT ON A DIFFERENT PLATFORM. DID I MENTION? ABCC HAS AN OFFICIAL WEBSITE, NOW. CHECK IT OUT. -- carbolicGalvanologist [CG] linked a website. -- -- [ https://adorabloodthirstycinemas.carrd.co/# ] -- WHAT A LONG FUCKING JOURNEY IT HAS BEEN. THANKS FOR HELPING ME CARRY THE TORCH. DON'T FUCK IT UP. NOW. ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING. #GETIN.
xx_YAS_BITCHHHHH_!!!!_GNOME_TIEM_xD_xx
SETTING THE STANDARD, FILMLEADERS. REALLY SETTING IT HIGH. AT LEAST IT'S JUST A DAY. I ONLY HAVE TO SIT THROUGH GNOMES AND NOTHING BUT GNOMES FOR ONE FUCKING DAY. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE CALLED IT #GNOMENIGHT INSTEAD.
There โ re more Gnome bโ sed films to wโ tch, I will hโ ve to submit some.
PLEASE DON'T. PLEASE. PLEASE, SYLINK. I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU.
glad to have you back chalky hehehe (|:D i dont watch enough movies (outside of this ofc) to step up to the metaphorical plate to be a filmleader yet but ill always be around for anything! ...ok maybe not anything gnomes piss me off lol but i can try to stomach it for this week!
IF IT HELPS, #SUBSTANCE NIGHT RULES ARE UP TO EACH INDIVIDUAL FILMLEADER. SO IF I HAPPEN TO HOST ONE, CONSIDER APPLYING A CEREBRAL LUBRICANT. THE SLOP WILL GO DOWN EASIER, THAT WAY.
LAST CALL! GET YOUR BACKSIDES OVER HERE IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE LAST PIRATES MOVIE. @carbolicGalvanologist did I do a good enough impression? https://hyperbeam.com/i/vdhhXMS_ #ABCC
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FUEL IN MY TAR-ENCRUSTED TANK TO BE HURLING SHOUT POLES THAT LIBERALLY, ANYMORE. NOR AM I SOME FLIGHTLY, WHIPPED BITCH WHO SAYS "BACKSIDES" WHEN I COULD SAVE A WHOLE SYLLABLE ON "ASS." ZERO OUT OF TEN MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS. BUT HERE'S A CONSOLATION POINT FOR TRYING. AND ANOTHER ONE, JUST BECAUSE I HAVE TWO MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS.