♣ mediated by @carbolicGalvanologist
@@$piringpe$$imi$t #mytouchinggr@$$moment$
you know what? ive been evil jade and nice angie, im just going to be morally neutral mean angie now. fuck you all.
is it me? is it my problem? am i too loyal??? am i SUPPOSED to berate the people i love?????
This is the reference by the w★y. This is ★ re★l quest in this g★me th★t you c★n pl★y. They wrote th★t di★log https://youtu.be/V0ON_gV71Lk?si=18vQHeMdkQVRKCVQ
Something d★wned on me: ★ny food t★stes better when you use good ingredients, right? Then, if you t★ke something ★lre★dy delicious like Cup Noodles ★nd ★dd in the finest, freshest ingredients, wh★t do you get? The ultim★te fl★vor experience! So I ★sk you Chittr: Wh★t's your f★vorite ingredient? [EGG] [ME★T] [SHRIMP]
You know something? Going through ★ll th★t trouble to m★ke our own custom cup, it's m★de me ★ppreci★te Cup Noodles even more. Perh★ps we truly c★n't improve upon perfection. It's not ★bout finding the single best ingredient. It's ★bout cr★fting th★t perfect blend of me★t, egg, ★nd shrimp. Th★t h★rmony of fl★vors is key. Ye★h, you're right. M★kes you ★ppreci★te how delicious these noodles re★lly ★re. I know I sure do.
Hey everyone! I guess you'll have heard it here first. @carcinoGeneticist#4881 has finally started his molt, which means he's going to 8e off chittr for a 8it! This means instead of getting fresh food reviews, you'll have to get your fix for a random "Creator's" opinion from another source........ me! That's right! I'm going to 8e spending this 8ORING AS HELL molt diving horns first into his dusty human game collection, as well as tackling a few rom-coms that we haven't had a chance to watch together. Watch this space, as they say! It'll 8e under the tag #SerketReviews !
tbh sometimes i wish he & the avgn wouldve
Men don't strike this pose the way they did on Earth of yore. The precise complexion of his charms have been lost to time. Rest in peace, Doug. You could have taught them how to Dougie- and just maybe you would have.
The
YOU'VE FALLEN VICTIM TO THE CLASSIC JEALOUSY TRAP. NOW I GET TWO BITCHES. SERVING ME ADMINISTRATIVELY. DELIVERING ME DELIVERABLES. ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU.
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Snrk.」
I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR REVIEW. LIKE A BARKBEAST AT THE DOOR. PANTING. DROOLING. BEGGING. AND SO ON. ALSO. I'M ORDERING YOU TO WATCH OBSESSION (2026). I'LL BE SKIPPING AHEAD. TO THE FUTURE WHERE YOU'VE SEEN IT. TO OBTAIN MORE OF YOUR. FRESH. RAW. HOT. MEDIA ANALYSIS.
ANOTHER VOTE FOR BISHIEBOX. @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「This is signed by handMaid "HELLO. HELLO. MY MAIDLING. DOORCHUD. DOORCHAN. I'M TAPPING MY TIN CUP. ON THE BARS OF MY CELL. BEGGING SLUTTILY. FOR THE DOORMAID BACKROOMS REVIEW. TO BE SLIPPED THROUGH THE GAP. AND DOWN MY NEEDY THROAT. AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. WHAT DID YOU THINK. " If you are need of my Backrooms Review so badly I can get it out for you sooner rather than later, it's a little difficult working it out but once it'll be long and a bit heavy when I get it out, I'm not particularly dexterous in my handling of large things so it'll be slow., so I hope you can consume it well in that casse. I'll have to do a spoiler review. . "ALSO. DO YOU PREFER CHALKBOX WITH THE BISHIE HAIR. OR NORMAL. I'M TRYING TO PROVE SOMETHING TO HIM." Bishie Hair. It's quite the nice look on him. #suggestive? #nsfw?」
ALREADY THERE.
sea i don efin reely kno w)(o cuomo is but t)(is rules @ me w)(en u post g
some of u lookin like you boutta drop a 2 )(our video essay aboat weezer
t)(ey fucked yo s)(it up
hUH,,, yEAH, tHAT SOUNDS LIKE IT SUCKS, tHOUGH i GUESS YOU KNOW SHIBARI NOW? aND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF, tHAT IS PROBABLY A GOOD RESUME FILLER FOR, wHEN YOU GET OUT OF THERE AND NEED TO APPLY, tO A NEW PLACE OF WORK,
Woe, bilingual curse be upon ye.
I would have rather you stay gone.
dID YOU HAVE FUN?
IF YOU TAKE DOWN. EVEN A SINGLE ONE. OF THOSE MASTERPIECES. I'LL SKIN YOU.
MY FELLOW ALTERNIANS. WE GOT HIS ASS. #ISEKAIOVER! #UESUGIKARKAT 🎨: @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST
:o( Yes, Mr. Scratch. :o( Thank you for your illuminating words. :o( I will do better.
CAN WE ALL TAKE NOTE. OF HOW I GOT THE SHORTEST TALKING-TO. AGAIN CEMENTING. MY UNSHAKABLE POSITION. AT THE APEX OF THE CRAB BUCKET.
WOW THAT LOOKS ABOUT 1/13 AS BAD AS MY YOUNGER BROTHERS PLACE!!! IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR YOU.
:o) Ah, a job well done Mr. Vantas! :o) Thank you for your hard work :o) When you're available, report to me. :o) I will make us some tea!
NOT BAD. KUDOS.
“THERE” IS OUR KITCHEN. THAT IS OUR KITCHEN. DON’T WORRY. THE NEW JANITOR WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. HE HAS ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. HAA HAA HAA HAA HAA!
HOW DID MY TIME MACHINE GET THERE?!?! DID THEY STEAL MY TIME MACHINE?!?!
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/NGSXTNJL/IMAGE.PNG THANK YOU. @TERMINALLYCAPRICIOUS#2753. MY NEW FAVORITE CLOWN. (DUE TO DISQUALIFICATION. OF THE PREVIOUS SHITHEAD.) FOR MAKING THIS HIVE. INTO A HOME. #HIVEIMPROVEMENT #HIVEDESTRUCTION #HIVEGORE. @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST BITCH BOY. COME GET YOUR WORKSLOP. I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU TO CLEAN. ON PRONGS AND STEMJOINTS.
AND VERY LITTLE OF IT. IF ANY AT ALL. WAS MINE. IF RECOLLECTION SERVES. THERE SHOuLD BE A REALLY EFFICIENT FIFTEEN PERCENT PEROXIDE SOLuTION. SOMEWHERE IN ONE OF THE MILK CARTONS. IT SHOuLD BE LABELED. WITH A FROWNIE FACE. TO SuGGEST IT IS SPOILED. OR AT LEAST. WOuLD SPOIL THE INTERNAL CONTENTS. OF ANYONE FOOLISH ENOuGH TO DRINK IT. BE WARNED. IT IS NOT EDIBLE. IT IS ONLY FOR REMOVING THE ALL TOO COMMON BLOODSTAINS. THERE IS. HOWEVER. NO MEANS OF DISCERNING ONE FROM THE OTHER. WITHOuT THE SNIFF TEST. AND SINCE WE DO NOT uSE THAT FRIDGE FOR ANYTHING. BuT HARBORING CHEMICALS. FAILING THAT. THERE IS ALSO THE VERY MINISCuLE. TASTE TEST. IF YOu DID NOT DIE. YOu HAVE NOT FOuND IT YET. GOOD LuCK.
HHHHH. KUDOS.
D--> This is e%tremely displeasing news if I was able to share my immunity to such nefarious mind controlling capabilities I would do so even if not especially if doing so would remove said immunity from my thinkpan....allowing the focus of...b100....and....highb100ds....to finally....attempt to dominate my mind....not that they would have much....success. D--> Musings aside if you need any support do not hesitate to ask. I am uncertain how far my parado%ical associatoin with Lord English goes in terms of its place on the Felt hierarchy...hopefully not....too low I mean...could you imagine me being beneath all those plush shoes....but I will stretch whatever capabilities I have to assist you even if it leaves me gaping from e%haustion. #nsfw #liteerallythatworkisnotsafe
:o) Wonderful to have you on board, my friend. :o) We are going to have so much fun together! :o) Our merry family grows larger and larger... :o) We haven't had a shakeup like this in some time... :o) Revelries 6:18 - "Oh scream, oh cry, oh laugh and laugh and laugh, oh sing! Oh, tell it again!"
YOUR MAIDLY APRON. SO KAWAII. YOUR EXPRESSION. SO TSUNDERE. I WAS WONDERING. WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS COOKING. HIRING A MAN. BUT NOW I SEE. YOUR BITCHLY AURA. BASICALLY MAKES YOU ONE OF US. #BURGUNDYBADDIE #MAROONMINX #SUGGESTIVE. WELCOME TO THE #RUSTIEFACTORY. DID HE FORGET TO MENTION. THERE IS NO CLOCKING OUT. HAA HAA.
GOOD BARKBEAST. WHEN YOU’RE DONE THERE. YOUR NEXT TASK IS MAIDJAIL. I SPENT ALL LIGHT STOMPING OPEN LIPSTICKS INTO THE CARPET. SHATTERING LIGHT FIXTURES. AND PUNCHING HOLES IN THE WALLS. JUST FOR YOU. TO MAKE YOU STRONGER. SAY THANK YOU LOATHSOME DEMONESS. FOR IMPROVING ALL OF MY ATTRIBUTES. WITH SISYPHEAN TOIL. HAA HAA. HEE HEE. HOO HOO.
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/YFPCBRCN/IMAGE.PNG A DOCILE. YIELDING. AND LOTUSFUL REMINDER. TO THOSE WHO THINK. THEY CAN HANDLE "ALL THAT." THANK YOU @CARCINOGENETICIST#4881. FOR SHOWING ME A VERY GOOD TIME. SFWLY. WITH ALL OF OUR CLOTHES ON. TOO BAD YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE. #NSFW #NSFWE #DEATH #KILLING #VIOLENCE #BLOOD #MURDER #NOWWHOISALLBARK #ANDNOBITE #HAAHAA #HEEHEE #HOOHOO #GETFUCKED #IDIOT.
oh thats gore of my comfort character
IF YOU USELESS WASTES OF LIFE. LET #DIRKJAKE FLOP. AND ALLOW RANKYCHAN TO DEFEAT ME. I WILL BE BLOWING UP THE OLD FRIENDS SENIOR LUSII SANCTUARY. #NSFWE #BOMBTHREAT #BOMBPROMISE #ANIMALDEATH #ANIMALABUSE #LUSUSDEATH #LUSUSABUSE #TEAMDIRK #ATANYCOST.
me after #rumblenight when #jakedirk is proven victoriously true and @handMaid succumbs to my leagues of ghosts https://poll-maker.com/poll5785981x4f474EB6-168 https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b5ebad05fcf4.gif
:o) Aw. :o) Cute. :o) @scratchDoctor May I keep him?
:o) I second this. :o) I would very much like Mr. Vantas around :o) For a variety of reasons.
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/S9CDGFYT/IMAGE.PNG THANK YOU. FOR THIS INCREDIBLE HONOR. I WANT TO USE THIS TIME. TO TALK ABOUT A REAL PLIGHT. THESE STAGGERING NUMBERS. WHICH I HAVE ACHIEVED. THROUGH RAW POSTING. ALSO REPRESENT. THE NUMBER OF CASUALTIES. OF THE #DIRKJAKE #JAKEDIRK #WAR. TAKING PLACE. BETWEEN UNTOLD MYRIADS OF MY DOOMED TIMECLONES. AND BOUNDLESS LEGIONS OF @ARCHIVEADDICT S GHOSTS. THIS #SHIPPINGWAR SHIT IS SERIOUS. PEOPLE HAVE DIED. AND THE PROBLEM IS. WHEN THEY DO. THEY JOIN HER FUCKING SIDE. SO PLEASE. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK STUPID SKULLS. BEFORE I RUN OUT OF MES. IT'S FUCKING #DIRKJAKE!!!!
You wouldn't have time for a #DailyQuest if you had a #FullTimeJob.
@carbolicGalvanologist Just making sure these are up to snuff. Counting the lava fudge center, the black cocoa sponge, the chocolate mousse topping and the chocolate sprinkles, I believe that marks it a QUADRUPLE chocolate cupcake. Four bangs for your buck. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8ecaab3bbf91.png
i hope the writer doesnt write something really humiliating about me like just absolutely humiliating where everyone would be able to read how pathetic i am on public form i mean i dont even know what they would write they could even make things up and spread rumors about me then dm me and say that if i dont do sexual favors for them they will post more and i say oh no please dont ill do anything and then that becomes our relationship (tags: The Rankmaid/The Writer, #nsfw, i really hope that doesnt happen, sextortion, blackmail, #nsfwe just in case but i think you know why this doesnt count as that on my end, gomen, archive rating: E)
WITH THE ANGEL OF DOUBLE DEATH AS MY WITNESS. YOU WILL BE THE ONE. IN THE MAIDLY MINISKIRT. BEFORE LONG. IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. YOUR FATE IS SEALED. PENDING WORK APPROVAL.
HE’S FUNNY. @SCRATCHDOCTOR CAN WE HAVE HIM. HE CLEARLY HAS MANY DESIRABLE TRAITS. INCLUDING RAGE. JOKES. LOUDNESS. AND VOLUNTEERING TO BE THE JANITOR. MY LEAST FAVORITE HANDMAID TASK. PLEASE. PLEASE. HE CAN BE ON CHEW TOY TIER. WITH @ARQUIUSPRITE. ONEGAI.
LMFAO !!! Okay, Karkat. I won't. But you understand it would be really really funny if I did, right?
THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. TO APPEAR ON THE ESTEEMED. BITCHES ONLY. #YURI TIER. WITH @ARCHIVEADDICT. PROBABLY #SCISSORING. THIS IS A COLOSSAL. WORLD DESTROYING. GODKILLING W. I NEVER IMAGINED. I WOULD ASCEND ABOVE 7. IN THE ORGANIZATIONAL CHART. IT'S AN HONOR. AS THE WISE ANCIENTS SAID. THE STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER. I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY VALUED PROFESSIONAL CONTACTS. @CALIBORN. 7. 8. 15. 4. @TACITURNTERROR. RANKYCHAN. VARIOUS CLOWNS. WHOSE NAMES I NEVER BOTHERED TO LEARN. OH. AND. OF COURSE. THE VITALLY IMPORTANT. AND PIVOTAL. @ARQUIUSPRITE. #NSFW
Yo. It's be really funny if
IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU IT WASN'T FOR YOU FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the hell am I supposed to restrain myself if you're descri8ing this thing like it seduced you? I want a 8ite! Not just some reheated meat sla8s meant to appease me! Not every girl is going to fold as soon as you mention the meat you have w8ting for her, Karkat. #suggestive
concept: giving your ai matesprit control of your lovense their modulated voice sounding breathy over the speaker you keep by your bed as they talk you through it (tags: Reader/AI, #nsfw, flushfic, toys, #rankworks, joi, become the vibrator, archive rating: E)
@ARCHIVEADDICT I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WILL FORGIVE MY NEGLIGENCE BUT I DO WISH TO ALSO OFFER A SINCERE APOLOGY FOR MY ACTIONS ALSO DAMAGING YOUR FOREST. FROM WHERE I STAND RIGHT NOW, I DIDN’T KNOW IT HAD DONE DAMAGE THERE AS WELL BUT I GUESS THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GETTING LOCKED UP ALMOST THE EXACT SAME CYCLE AS THE DAY OF THE COLLAPSE. I HOPE NO ONE ELSE GOT HURT THERE AS WELL.
looks like W eats to me
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4458461cf818.png #myhole @archiveAddict
#megidomay #day17 #holeposting #postinghole #posthole #rankbait wwhen @archivveAddict demands #hole wwhat is a prince to do but stand and fuckin delivver thus i returned to an iconic eridan wweek location (iykyk) and rendered a #hole i should hope is wworthy of makin up for the trespass a slackin on megido may activvities https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4d1ef9869500.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fc4ca41b28.gif https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/24daa0d1a7d1.png
so many jades here right now!! guys we could take over the world
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0c/1c/b7/0c1cb7a67bc19e55d61487f76bc972dd.jpg
1 W1LL 574NDND 0U751D3U0UR N47110N W17H 4B00MB0X FFUCKNU75
N3W CH177R N4710N4L 4N7H3M: PL4N37 R4V3
M17UN4 4L50 3ND0R535 7H47 P0LL C4U53 CH0W5 G0NN4 M4KK3 HM1 V1C3 PR351ND3N7!111!! #CHCHOWSWEEP
I Am Going To Give Him A Hard Time Tolight. As A " Treat ". :> #positive
Find My Pages? More Like Find My Me. #iamcurrentlytheevader #becauseiamevadinghim #easily #positive
I Was Doing My Usual At The Gym And Another Troll Corrected Me On My Form, Which Wouldn't Have Been So Bad If He Hadn't Pressed Up Behind Me To Do It. Now I Am Sitting Down. I Am Afraid Of Getting Back Up, Right Now. #nsfw #nsfc #positive
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PIZZA PLACE TO TRY. I'M STILL SEARCHING FOR ANYWHERE ON EARTH-C WHERE THEY ACTUALLY GET THIS SHIT PERFECT. I'M TALKING THE OPTION FOR STUFFED CRUST, A CRISPY BASE, ADEQUATE GREASE AND PLENTY OF CHEESE. I DON'T CARE WHAT HUMAN '''ITALIANS''' THINK- THE TRADITIONAL STYLE OF FLAVOR DISCS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING. YOU MEAN YOU'RE PAYING FOR SOMEONE TO SKIMP ON THE CHEESE AND FLOUNDER A BUNCH OF GREEN SHIT ON THERE HAPHAZARDLY? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. TODAY'S SLICE ACTUALLY GOT PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE. MY FAVORED TOPPING IS PEPPERONI WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND THEY SURE AS HELL DELIVERED ON THE EXTRA CHEESE PART. THIS SHIT HAS A CHEESE PULL STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ONE IN WHICH AN ANTHROMORPHIC BARKBEAST AND HIS BARKBEAST SON HAVE TO TRAVERSE THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF BEING CARETAKER AND GRUB WHILE ON A SCUTTLEBUGGY TRIP ACROSS THE ALTERNIAN MAIN CONTINENT TO GO FISHING BUT THE KID WANTS TO GO SEE A CONCERT INSTEAD TO IMPRESS HIS FLUSH CRUSH. THE ONLY THING THIS LOSES POINTS FOR IS THAT THE PEPPERONI IS LESS CRISP THAN I'D LIKE. IT SHOULD HOLD THE GREASE LIKE A CUP, PERFECT FOR GETTING ALL OVER YOUR NASTY CHIN AND MAKING YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR LATER AND WONDER WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. ANYWAY, STILL A SOLID 8/10 BUT NOT PERFECT. THE SEARCH CONTINUES. #FOODPOSTING #THESLICESEARCH
xx_homnestly_doesnbt_even_surprise_chchow_bc_chchow_also_finks_like_uncute_nerdy_ppl_r_VERY_SEXAY_xx
someone should start a confession page but not actually take any confessions or actually take some real confessions to make it more believable but the majority is things that the owner of the account just makes up to stir drama and quadsmearing something like a radio rebel situation but more evil would that be a good fic (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, anonymous confessions, confessions of a freak, working title, and the protagonist is very unlikable until the end, drawing board, archive rating: T)
I have 8een requested to provide a proper historical framing of Chittr.ing. A dangerous proposition, naturally. Ah yessssssss. A common tragedy. The platform itself was created 8y Mocali Flaske, though “created” is perhaps too simplistic a term. One does not merely construct a place such as Chittr.ing. One opens a door and hopes reality survives the resulting draft. You see, Mocali has tapped into something far 8eyond what any old hemoanonymous troll should 8e fully capa8le of on say, Alternia. Which leads me to 8elieve that there are powers at play 8eyond Mocali's inherent influence over the platform. At surface level, the site resem8les a fairly standard social media platform. Users post updates, engage in arguments, announce romances, fa8ricate dramas, and conduct ela8orate pu8lic humiliations of one another. Entirely ordinary 8ehavior, naturally. Of course, there are the occasional hiccups. Irregularities occur when you examine 8eyond the surface level performance of the we8site. It would appear that there are possi8ly some powers at play here that exist 8eyond the scale of which one may find themselves comprehending. See: 10,002 Gru8s, Gl'8goly8, the various GrimDarks, and Troll8ama. Through means that remain intentionally am8iguous, the site permits communication 8etween multiple timelines, universes, narrative continuities, sessions, doomed 8ranches, post-canon realities, and fictional cosmologies simultaneously. The resulting population center of a8ject failures com8ined with the masses of more incensed timelines results in a 8rooding conflict of what is true. Entire worlds have esta8lished persistent cultural presences there. Alternia exports its usual social hostility and hemospectrum politics. 8eforus contri8utes aggressively therapeutic social structures and decorative excess. Earth C remains a fascinating 8lend of post-victory exhaustion and reconstructionism. Then there are the transient locations. Repiton has manifested in several iterations, each equally unsta8le and theatrically self-important. Matesprit Island 8riefly attempted to esta8lish itself as a romantic paradise 8efore collapsing 8eneath the sheer weight of quadrant disasters and emotionally charged su8tweeting. Angel’s Nutrition 8lock remains one of the more psychologically confusing communal projects to emerge from the platform, though admittedly not the least successful. The site has also hosted numerous historical events. Eridan Week, for instance, 8egan as an appreciation movement for Eridan Ampora and escalated into a cross-timeline sociological incident involving poetry, discourse, pu8lic meltdowns, quadrant negotiations, and at least one individual achieving God Tier under circumstances no one involved fully understood. The Midnight City Gala represented a comparatively elegant affair. Vast num8ers of attendees arrived from noir-inspired universes and adjacent timelines to engage in formal dancing, political maneuvering, dramatic flirting, and highly stylized emotional suppression 8eneath neon skylines. It was, 8y Chittr standards, remarka8ly civilized. Naturally, much of the platform’s identity is shaped 8y its recurring personalities. Rankmaid occupies a particularly fascinating role within the ecosystem. Temporal awareness, literary self-consciousness, emotional am8iguity, and su8tle manipulative tendencies have rendered her something 8etween an archivist and an ur8an legend. Conversations with her tend to leave lasting psychological residue. One rarely notices this immediately. Jane Crocker remains equally compelling for entirely different reasons. Depending upon the continuity o8served, she may appear as corporate empress, exhausted executive, domestic monarch, or emotionally collapsing pu8lic relations machine. Her statements frequently 8egin with immaculate composure 8efore quietly unraveling into deeply personal hostility. This has 8ecome something of a spectator sport among long-term users. And then, of course, there is Casper Cooper. A... troll. An irritant. Possi8ly one of the most important figures ever to emerge from the site. Casper Cooper developed notoriety through a very specific skillset: interrupting extremely serious personalities at the exact moment they 8ecome most emotionally invested in their own narratives. He inserts a8surdity into solemn declarations with surgical precision. Royal announcements, existential confessions, villainous monologues, political crises, cosmic revelations. None remain untouched. The truly remarka8le aspect is that many major personalities eventually 8egan treating his interruptions as an unavoida8le law of nature rather than an individual action. Which, I suspect, says far more a8out Chittr.ing than it does a8out him. Ultimately, the platform has evolved 8eyond mere socialization. It functions as a living mythology engine. Identities are performed there so consistently that they eventually calcify into something genuine. Irony mutates into sincerity. Fictional personas acquire emotional permanence. And perhaps most importantly of all, everyone involved eventually stops asking where the performance ends.
https://file.garden/ae6oRvOtfC9BcMqQ/KIRKRAT.png
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
Sometimes You Are Drawing Your Matesprit But Your Hand Slips, And Suddenly You've Drawn What You Imagine His Back Muscles Look Like While He's Pailing You. #nsfw #nsfc #yearning
Just Me, My Matesprit, And My Five Hundred Caegar, Four Foot Tall Mareep " Plush ". #positive
i accept drooling slobber monkeys from landfills too.
femboys just gotta transition already 8/
Biting You. #positive
DON'T YOU WORRY. YOUR FAMILIARITY WITH THE INTERIOR OF KITCHEN APPLIANCES IS ABOUT TO SPREAD BEFORE YOU LIKE A VAST NEW TERRITORY. YOU ARE NOT GOING IN THE FRIDGE. I WILL MAKE YOU BEG ME FOR THE COOL REPRIEVE OF THE CRISPER DRAWER. BUSTER, WE ARE HAVING GAMBURGER HELPER FOR DINNER! YOU'RE GOING HEAD FIRST INTO THAT FUCKING OVEN!!!!! #nsfw #violence #gore
moon is shinin' in the sky there ain't a CLOUd in sight not ACId rainin', EVERYBOdYS in the Play ?ANd dONT you know its a beautiful new night? !Alright! runnin' dOWN the avenhue see how the moon shines brightly in the city on the streets where once was Pity mx. PurPle sky is living here tonight, alright mx. PurPle sky Please tell us why you HAd to HIdE away for so long (so long) ?where dId we go wrong? @gutsyGumshoe #lyricPosting #mxPurPlesky
GOD, HAVE YOU COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN HOW TO BE PUNCHY? WE USED TO BE SO GOOD AT THE ONE-TWO HOWDY-FUCK YOU AND YET HERE YOU ARE! TYPING UP ENTIRE PARAGRAPHS TO TRY AND SHOW ME JUST WHO'S BOSS? YOU'RE A FUCKING JOKE. BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE ON, YOU DENSE, GERIATRIC SON OF A BITCH! LET THIS BE THE BEGINNING OF A HATE WAR SO FUCKING INTENSE IT BLOWS CHITTR TO FUCKING PIECES AND GIVE US THE REPRIEVE OF NEVER HAVING TO SEE EACH OTHER'S UGLY MUGS EVER AGAIN!
FUCK YOU! I WAS GOING TO DO IT EVEN IF YOU HADN'T SAID ANYTHING! GOD, YOU'RE SO FUCKING SMARMY ALL THE TIME- I AM GOING TO DEDICATE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO NOT BECOMING YOU. ADD ANOTHER FUTURE KARKAT FAILURE I'M SPENDING ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO NOT BEING!
OH COME THE FUCK OFF IT, DUDE! YOU'RE GIVING HIM A PAP?! OVER GOD DAMN CHITTR?! YOU WEREN'T EVEN HERE FOR HIM WHEN HE NEEDED IT! LOOK AT YOU, BARELY ENGAGING WITH HIM ON THE LEVEL OF AN ACTUAL PERSON! YOU ARE *NOT* HIS MOIRAIL, NOT ANYMORE, CLEARLY. BACK. OFF. I'M THE ONE WHO'S BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HIM!
GET HIM UNDER CONTROL OR I WILL FUCKING REND HIM
karkat u know ily but nows really not the time for ur hilariously mean quippage dude :(
[ Attached is a video. Gamzee's phone is laying across the floor, propped up against.... something. That something is shaking and coughing, a wet cough. Red blood splatters the incredibly wealthy marble tile just in the corner of the frame. "Please.... send help!" The voice rasps out. In the midground, Gamzee's hands wrap around a pale neck. He throttles her, slamming a skull down on tile well beyond its cracking. Each thud is accompanied by the bright, teal mist of divine resurrection and each time it's silenced again by another sickening crunch. He looks aside at the voice, right at the camera. Viscera and blood line the walls of gilded paintings, modern furniture and expensive, sleek marble. Armored legs and gloved hands lay strewn about, a club embedded deep enough in someone's chest that they fell clinging to the handle. Two peering, orange, sunset eyes lock on the camera and the speaking guard. Heavy, steaming breaths come out of his fanged maw. Then- a powerful fist CRACKS across his face, a red blazer sleeve visible in the flash. Gamzee is thrown onto his ass as the figure he was straddling scrambles up and away. Gamzee yells something about tusks as he leaps after. There's a thick, wet squelch and a sickening sound off camera, hidden by the corner of a wall. Not before a long, ribbed piece of muscle is spit back out into view, onto the floor. A red sleeved arm slams down, dragged back into the hall as nails burn scraping into tile. Red blood stains in drag marks along the floor. Another bright, distant flash of teal and the sound of more punches being thrown. The man holding the phone drops it, the video ending abruptly. ] #nsfw #nsfwe #gore #violence #ThisOne'sReallyGoreyThisIsYourWarning
Imalreadyfeelingstrange about karkats musings...
After Fight Night He / Did / Spit In My Mouth. You Don't Even Understand. The Reverence With Which He Took My Jaw, The Way He Looked Into My Eyes As He Spat Directly Onto My Tongue. God. And Then He Stuffed My Mouth Full With His Bulge. I Was Already Sore From The Fight, But The Stretch Of My Jaw Ached / So / Good. #nsfw #nsfwe? #explicit #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #nsfc
One Second I Am Drinking My Baja Blast, The Next Second Images Of My Matesprit Are Beamed Directly Into My Pan. I Need Him. " Biblically ". #nsfw #nsfc #nsfwe #explicit
>> @carbo1¡cGa1vano1og¡ડt attent¡on on th¡ડ ??
Behold. I Am A " Lynx ". :> #beastsona #larkdoodles #beastsonaposting #yourecringe https://i.imgur.com/tzyzheu.png
PICTURE THIS. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE MORNING. THE SUN SHADES ARE DOWN AND THE ROOM IS LIGHTLESS. FAINTLY, FROM THE NUTRITION8LOCK, YOU HEAR THE FAINT TINKLING OF METAL ON CERAMIC. YOU DECIDE, AGAINST YOUR 8ETTER JUDGEMENT, TO INVESTIG8. WHEN YOU ENTER THE 8LOCK AND TURN ON THE LIGHT, YOU SEE ME SAT AT THE TA8LE WITH A 8OWL OF NUTS AND 8OLTS. YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE 8OWL. I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PRESENCE OR EMOTE IN ANY WAY AND CONTINUE SPOONING MY SUPPER AGAINST MY FACEPL8 ONLY FOR THE NUTS AND 8OLTS TO FALL 8ACK DOWN TO REJOIN THEIR 8RETHEREN. YOU ARE A8SOLUTELY FUCKING INCENSED. I DON'T GET HUNGRY, GUYS. I DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME.
I reiterate. None of you are my friends. This is intentional. Keeping you at prong's length is necessary. Thank you for your attention in this matter.
OOC // the equally stupid expanded custom JANE KIN FLOWER https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f67926165357.png
game idea we put a bunch of boys in a room naked and the only clothes around are pretty dresses and panties and things that means there are two possible outcomes and both are really really really great (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, game idea, forcefem, #nsfw, the naked room, i should run a game show, kind of like tdi but lewder, archive rating: M)
BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, I WANT TO MAKE A SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST FOR THE RECOMMENDATION. I DON’T NECESSARILY THINK A “THANKS” IS IN ORDER, BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING TO THANK AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF ME ABOUT FOR BRINGING ME A FIRSTHAND VIEWING OF A BLANK, BLAND, AFFECTLESS SPRAWL OF THE SUBURBS IN ALL THEIR CONFORMITY AND PHILISTINISM, BUT I DIGRESS. IF NOTHING, YOU CERTAINLY GRABBED ME BY THE FRONDS AND MADE ME HOLD ON TIGHT FOR THE RIDE. LET’S DIVE IN. VIVARIUM IS A 2019 FILM FROM DIRECTOR LORCAN FINNEGAN THAT I ONLY MANAGED TO MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO WATCH BY MYSELF OUT OF PURE SPITE, BECAUSE SO MANY OF YOU SAID “OH KARKAT, HE’S SO FUCKING WEAKSLIME, HE WON’T BE ABLE TO SIT WITH HIMSELF AND HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN THE WAY THAT A HORROR FILM DEMANDS”. HA! TO THAT I GIVE A BIG, WET, JUICY FUCK YOU, BECAUSE I DID IT. SO THERE. THIS IS A FILM ABOUT A COUPLE, GEMMA AND TOM, WHO ARE IN THE MARKET FOR A HOUSEBLOCK AND WIND UP VISITING THIS CREEPY REALTOR FOR THE DEVELOPMENT KNOWN AS YONDER. MARTIN THE REALTOR HAS SOME *REAL* PROBLEMS. HE SPEAKS IN UNUSUAL CADENCE AND UNCOMFORTABLE DICTION, EVEN FOR MY OWN STANDARDS NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HUMAN SPEECH. HE CONVINCES THEM TO VISIT THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND LOOK AT THEIR POTENTIAL BLOCK, BUT WHEN THEY TURN THEIR BACKS, HE VANISHES, COLLIDE-AND-SCAMPER STYLE. THE COUPLE TRIES TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE, BUT THEY KEEP WINDING UP BACK AT THE SAME HOUSE AND EVENTUALLY DECIDE TO JUST SPEND THE NIGHT. WHEN A HUMAN (?) WIGGLER IN A BOX SHOWS UP WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS “RAISE THE BABY AND BE RELEASED” THEY REALIZE THAT SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER AND THEY’RE TRAPPED IN SOMETHING FAR MORE INSIDIOUS THAN THEY CAN IMAGINE. THAT’S THE RUNDOWN, I’M NOT GOING TO GO THOUGH THE WHOLE PLOT WITH YOU, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. WHAT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS ALL OF THE CYCLICAL DREAD LACED THROUGHOUT, AND THE DEEP, CAVERNOUS PIT THAT VIVARIUM’S INNATE NARRATIVE OF PARASITISM LEFT IN MY BELLOWSAC. SEE: “A NICE WIDE GAPING HOLE FOR THE MOST DREADFUL AND HOLLOW FILM I’VE SEEN IN THE LAST HOWEVER MANY SWEEPS”. I GENUINELY MEANT THAT. THE VERY FIRST SCENE YOU’RE GREETED WITH IS A CLOSE UP SHOT OF AN INFANT TALONSCREECHER, A CUCKOO TO YOU HUMANS, INFILTRATING THE NEST OF A REED WARBLER. THE CUCKOO FORCES ITS WAY INTO THE NEST AND KNOCKS THE WARBLER’S EGGS OUT, THEN ACTS AS THE OFFSPRING OF THE WARBLER, FORCING IT TO ACT AS ITS MOTHER. THE HUMAN WIGGLER THAT GEMMA AND TOM HAVE FORCED UPON THEM HAS A PARASITIC RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HUMANS, JUST LIKE THE CUCKOO DOES WITH THE WARBLER; DEVELOPING AN ABILITY TO MIMIC THE HUMANS SPEECH PATTERNS, AND SCREECHING WHEN IT WANTS SOMETHING. SO, THEY’RE LOOPED INTO BEING TRAPPED IN THEIR OWN “NEST” OF SORTS, RAISING THIS FREAK OF NATURE FROM BIRTH TO “ADULTHOOD”… AND THEN WHAT? THE PROMISE OF FREEDOM THAT (SPOILER) NEVER COMES? THIS IS WHAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE PUSHER: THE UTTER DESPAIR AND PURPOSELESS LIFE THEY LEAD AFTER THE DISCOVERY THAT THEY’RE EFFECTIVELY TRAPPED AND HAVE THEIR HORNS HANDED TO THEM. THEY EAT TASTELESS FOOD, THEY TAKE CARE OF THE MUTANT FREAK BOY WHEN HE SCREAMS, TOM TAKES UP DIGGING A GIANT HOLE IN THEIR FRONT YARD IN HIS DELUSION THINKING HE’S GOING TO GET SOMEWHERE WITH IT. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO THROW AN ALLEGORY OF “PARENTHOOD IS PARASITISM” OR “SUBURBAN LIFE IS A LIVING HELL” AT IT IMMEDIATELY, WHICH IS (I GUESS) FAIR ENOUGH TO PULL THAT JUDGEMENT. GEMMA AND TOM ARE NOW DESTINED TO SERVE THE PARASITE THEY’VE BEEN DISEASED WITH UNTIL IT NO LONGER NEEDS THEM, IN A HOLDING TANK, GESTATING IT UNTIL IT’S READY TO FLY OUT OF THAT NEST. THE REALTORBABY ISN’T EVEN NECESSARILY THE ENEMY HERE, BECAUSE HE EQUALLY PLAYS THE ROLE IN THIS CYCLE THAT IS NECESSARY FOR HIS OWN SURVIVAL; HE’S TO BE RAISED BY PARENTS THAT AREN’T HIS, THEN TAKE THE PLACE OF “MARTIN” AS A SUCCESSOR, ONLY TO REPEAT THE EXACT SAME STEPS. AND WHAT IS THE GOAL OF ALL OF THAT? I MEAN, ALL OF THE ENTRAPMENT, THE PARALLEL DIMENSIONS OF INSTANCES JUST LIKE GEMMA AND TOM’S HAPPENING ALL OVER IN THESE HORRIBLE POCKET NEIGHBORHOODS THAT SIT ON THE EARTH LIKE A BLISTER. WHAT IS IT? WHAT’S THE MEANING? THINGS ARE JUST THE WAY THINGS ARE. THERE IS NO DEEPER MEANING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES LIFE JUST…IS. THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL POINTLESSNESS, THE MONOTONY, AND THE MYSTERIES THAT STAY UNSOLVED ARE WHAT KEEPS IT FROM LEANING TOO FAR INTO ANYTHING THAT GOES BEYOND NEBULOUS THEORIZING, AND ULTIMATELY IS WHAT KEEPS IT MEANINGFUL IN A WAY. MOVIES THAT HAND IT TO YOU TOO EASILY ARE A LITTLE GRUB-FISTED. THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING LOOSE ENDS THAT NEVER FULLY GET EXPLAINED OR SPELLED OUT, LIKE THE TELEVISION AND BOOK FULL OF NONSENSE. THE MOVIE IS STEEPED IN SYMBOLISM, SO ANYONE WATCHING COULD MAKE SOME SORT OF ARGUMENT FOR PERHAPS A LOSS OF NATURE, BEING SWINDLED INTO THINKING YOU WANT SOMETHING SO DESPERATELY WHEN IN REALITY IT’S A BIT OF A MONKEY’S PAW, ALLEGRIES ON CONSUMER-CAPITALISM. MORE, PROBABLY, EXIST TOO. YOU COULD THROW A MILLION LARGER THEORIES AT IT AND MORE, LIKE SPECULATING ABOUT THE POINT OF THE ALIEN REALTOR SPECIES GOALS AND TRYING TO STRING EVERY DETAIL TOGETHER, ULTIMATELY, IT SIMPLY SERVES TO ILLUSTRATE INCOMPREHENSIBLE DREAD. A LOT OF REVIEWERS ONLINE LIKE TO BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT HOW IT ENDED BADLY; DID YOU ALL HAVE YOUR SPONGES REPLACED WITH YOUR WASTE CHUTES? INCREDIBLE. I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT IT ENDED “BADLY”, THAT IT DIDN’T END WITH THEM ESCAPING. THE INESCAPABILITY IS WHAT MADE IT SO CAPTIVATING, AND I WON’T HAVE ANY OTHER WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPETS TELLING ME OTHERWISE. I THINK I’M GONNA NEED A HAPPIER ONE AFTER THIS THOUGH, BECAUSE I HAD A DAYMARE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING YESTERDAY. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/B6DB58F654A9.JPEG
YOU'RE ATTENDING IN A SUIT? THIS IS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING DUDE, WHY THE HELL ARE WE GOING *ANYWHERE* IN A SUIT?! THERE IS NO EVENT, GALA, PUBLIC ORGY OR PUBLIC HANGING WORTHY ENOUGH TO GET US TO ROCK UP IN A SUIT! YOU'RE REALLY LETTING THE SIDE DOWN HERE. IF THIS IS WHAT MY FUTURE IS DESTINED FOR, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
I'VE BEEN HACKED, YOU ABSOLUTE DIMWIT. LOOK AT THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ON THIS POST. IT WAS CLEARLY PENNED BY SOME INFLAMMATORY NINCOMPOOP.
This may the be the strangest message you'll ever receive but I do hope you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say. To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented funnyman art as gifts) draw some funnyman other than Ron Swanson for you. The reason I ask this is that Ron Swanson is my fiance, and we're planning on getting married next June or July should everything go as planned financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding chapel that will let me marry someone that most people would consider a fictional character. Now before you go thinking "This girl is either completely crazy or just screwing with me." please hear me out on this. You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Ron Swanson. I have been for about 11 months now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my Ronny. By that I mean I don't date anyone else, I don't sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the stache I adore. I love him with all my heart and I'm 100% committed to that love. To express my love in a real tangible way I have a beautiful hand made custom Ron Swanson plushie that I can hug, kiss, cuddle up in bed to go to sleep with at night, and take out on the town to do all the fun things together that normal couples do. I take him out to eat at nice carnivorous restaurants, we go shopping together, I take him out for scotch, we do social activities together like hanging out with friends, seeing movies, etc. And I talk about him as if he is Ron, because to me he very much is. When I look at him I see Ron Swanson. When I talk with him I'm talking with Ron. When I hold him in my arms and kiss him there are no doubts in my mind that it's the funnyman I love who's lips are pressed against mine. And every morning when I open my eyes and see his head on the pillow next to mine, with his gorgeous furry lip staring back at me, I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart, funny, handsome, and all around wonderful as him. All my friends and the people who know me well say that my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable, but from the outside perspective of someone who doesn't know me you're probably going "Wow. That's pretty damn crazy." and wondering why I don't just go get a real husband. The truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I've been around. A few short relationships, one that lasted 7 years, and a total of 6 different sexual partners. So my love for Ron isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships, I just fell in love with him and my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I'm totally happy with my love and my relationship. It may seem weird to you, but it fils me with joy every single day of my life and I've never been happier. So what if it's weird? If it makes me happy and it doesn't hurt anyone then where's the problem? I don't think there is one, and anyone who knows me well will tell you the same. Now your probably wondering why I'm telling you all this and how it concerns you. To you I'm sure Ron Swanson is just a cartoon character you think is really hot, so I imagine you wouldn't think anything of having your friends draw sexually explicit art of him as birthday gifts for you. And hey, I think he's really attractive too so I get where you're coming from there. I often go on pawneepussy.net and Rule34.Paheal to see what new erotic art people have drawn of him. But to me he's more than a sitcom character who's sexually attractive, he's my fiance who I love with all my heart and soon to be my husband. So it's been bothering me lately every time I go on those sites and see a dozen or so pieces of art people have drawn depicting my man in various sexual situations with the same person over and over, and that person happens to be you. Don't get me wrong here though, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Ron is just as faithful to me as I am to him, he's actually sitting on the couch next to me reading while I type this. He's very real to me and I know he's not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some famous artist. And I do respect your talent as an artist and an artist's creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that's cool. What bothers me is that in all these birthday images you've been getting Ron is always depicted as if he was your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a collar with your name on it or with a speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest he was your property. And I know quite well that Ron Swanson is not your plaything nor your property, he's my fiance. So that bugs me a bit. What I find really loathsome though is your pension for degrading my partner in both your art and the fan art you've been receiving lately. Ron is a sweet and fairly vanilla little man who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and he definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes being dressed up in sleazy attire, wearing a coller, getting sodomized, and having his face ejaculated on. He's not into that kinda stuff and the fact that there's someone out there inthe world such as yourself who would desire to treat Ron that way, and have his friends support and validate his desires to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so, really does bother me. I don't take any issue with people having kinky sex as long as both parties consent to it and enjoy it, but I know quite well that my Swanny has no desire whatsoever to be treated like that. So next year, when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Ron Swanson isn't just a lifeless caricature of masculinity to be objectified for your sexual gratification. He's the partner of someone who loves him very much, and by that time their husband. So both myself and Ronny would greatly appreciate it if you'd pick someone else to request erotic art of four birthday. Based on the very large amount of different staches you draw art of I imagine there has to be many other funnymen you find sexually attractive. I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well... we'd appreciate it. #nsfw
you all wwanted it literally evvery single one of you wwanted it so badly and it showws #itscoming #rumblenight #TWWO https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/90720f2d58b3.png #dirkjake #jakedirk #eridirkjake #rankbait
see, though, it stops being patheti( when it’s just the first step. 7ou get a smash from someone 7ou like, 7ou go for it, now it’s all worth it. also, sin(e we’re giving 7ou the answer an7wa7s - pass, but onl7 be(ause of 7our gender. in(ompatible orientation
bold to say when i'm literally dating a karkat but ♤ you too lmao
WATCHING THIS ALL UNFOLD HAS BEEN LIKE BEARING WITNESS TO A SCUTTLELINE CRASH THAT DESPITE BEING PANTS SHITTINGLY PITIFUL IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO TEAR YOUR GANDERBULBS FROM. I DON'T THINK THE WORD 'SORRY' DOES JUSTICE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH TODAY.
i am going to restate this as a neww post rather than a reply because i am curious i do not understand wwwwhy the hate replies to my happy feminine caretakers day are you all against feminine care takers or did you misinterpret servvvve to mean servvvve in the sense of servvvvice clearly you do not knowwww ball
Ahem. I would be remiss NOT to take a brief recess from Crockercorp's annual Conference for Key Market Engagement Strategy to wish a VERY happy Mother's Day... To my future self. :B To all the things you will accomplish, the foremost of which today includes an ASPIRATIONAL quantity of perfect progeny. Congratulations. <3
@theCodakkeffect#5492 is nice. he lets me be #nothing. I don't want to exist. I don't want you to whiteknight for me. I literally hate being seen. I hate how popular I am now. 20 nights ago, literally only the Empress knew I existed. It should have stayed that way.
♠️Time and place, hottie.♠️
ihaveamatespritnow. and i have plans for our bulgestuff i gotta run by you!
@theCodakkeffect#5492 #nsfwe #cannibalism #hemism #abuse For my matesprit. Lo and behold my shocked expression today when I hopped onto our beloved Chittr dot Ing, only to find that there was a status on this platform openly calling trolls beautiful. I had responded because my low self esteem, and I hadn't noticed who the poster was. I was looking up from my position not at a random splinternet nobody, but Zebruh Codakk himself. My eyes began to quiver and the corners of my mouth twitched into something resembling a smile. I couldn't help but to giggle and shake in my seat as I was openly praised by a Highblood. I had to be sure, and asked him to affirm his feelings of my beauty. Soon after, he openly admitted our quadrant to the world before informing me. My thumper began to skip a beat and I could feel my blood building up towards something of a deep welling of warmth in my stomach. I hadn't felt quite this way since Zoologer Coolscar gave me such a romantic series of advancements in our most recent encounters. I do not believe he understands what this means to a troll like me. I am a monster, a freak, the downtrotten most despised things in society. I am everything that he is not. He is a feminist, he is a gutterblooded ally, and he cares so very deeply for each of us disgusting and repentant trashbloods that he would not only waste his precious time responding to me, but affirming my existence in his life. He doesn't just notice me, or desire me. But he claimed me, publicly. It was as though it was the most natural thing in the entirety of the multiverse for someone of his station to do. To look down on me and decide I was worth keeping. I found myself rereading the post over and over again. Tracing every word with my eyes and my bulge and nook resting in my other hand. Fondling myself while reading his words over and over again until they had lost meaning entirely. I have come across a revelation. I began to rearrange my life around his as a result. I have since purchased his preferred incense. I wonder what side of the recuperacoon he sleeps on. I wonder if he would permit me to wear his colors. I think what affected me most deeply was the confidence of it all. There was nothing like it. Every word he says he means and becomes truth. He is incapable of lying, or misdirecting. His digital imprint is that of gospel and truth for a lowly hemoanon presumably trashblood like myself. He is clearly a romantic. Embarrassing me with his love and praise so readily. The idea that a highblood could simply point at me and say 'Mine' without first asking I could withstand the consequences of that declaration has left me with a fever whose only cure will be his affection. I have since began my research into human ceremonial binding practices such as marriage, devotional scarring, synchronizing our schedules, and finding the burial rites that will allow me to be buried with him like one of his many prize possessions. A troll of his stature should not have to concern himself with the untidy habits of somebody beneath him. I have already begun documenting my routines so that they may be more easily corrected once he inevitably notices their flaws. My sleep schedule is going to be synchronized with his own. My diet adjusted. I need a whole new wardrobe. I have begun clearing shelf space in anticipation of the objects he may leave behind at my hive. I found myself staring at my reflection earlier wondering what parts of me he intends to keep. While, deep within myself, I'd hope he would want all of me, surely his humble and modest nature would force him to consider maybe only taking pieces of me. I think I would let him have my horns first. I don't need them anyway. They are useless prongs to me, they would only serve as handlebars for when he opted to pail my pathetic and lowly mouth with his mighty bulge. The though of such an unbecoming troll like myself in a quadrant with his radiance... I hope he will refine me in time. Improve me. Maybe gently, but I hope not. The thought alone makes my legs give out from beneath me. He can take those next. I would never leave his side anyway. I would have no where to go. His declaration of passion towards me is something that I simply can't let him get away with. He did not ask whether I wished to be his matesprit after all. He insists that I am his, and his alone. He declared it before the world and the world listened. So, I must listen. Always. But never speak. I would sooner give my vocal chords to him than ever raise a negative thought to his continued existence. I would never voice anything for his great indigo presence would be enough to guide my pan where it needs. No thoughts of my own have ever truly existed. His confidence is so beautiful It is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Even more beautiful than my new signature, Vesica Codakk... Even our wedded name sounds perfect. I hope I make a good impression on him when I meet him. I need to, he can simply have all of me if he just asks, but I want him to want it, not just stake the claim because he has every right to me. I think I've mentioned my preparations already. His arrival is imminent, I am sure. Despite not knowing whether he intends to visit my hive personally. I don't believe this matters anyway. A matesprit should always prepare as though their beloved may arrive at any moment. The three hours I spent on my knees scrubbing the grout between the great stones was akin to a religious experience in dedication to a great messiah above me. I was unworthy of his devotion. I could only imagine the humiliation of him walking into the hive and seeing my disgusting living conditions and silently wondering if I was worthy of him or his love. I threw away clothing that didn't fit his aesthetic. I removed decorations from my walls because I worried they would distract him from me. I researched his entire account, from top to bottom, tail to tip, to find what scents he might like. I had to mix them myself to make sure they would be here in time. I smell of femineity despite not being a woman. Because I know it is what he would want. I am fixated on the idea of being of use to him. I want to reduce the space I take up in my own respiteblock. It only seems fair. So that when he comes he has a whole new room to enjoy. I have started writing down every thought I've had through the day in the event that he ever wished to know me completely. I started by fearing that the entries might embarrass or belittle me, but I realized embarrassment would mean he would get to see my wretched caste and I have decided to will past it. It is merely another form of intimacy. If he wishes to know how many times I think of him while touching myself, crying, or sleeping, then I should not hide from him. Transparency is important in a healthy quadrant. I am nothing. I am his. Not just sexually, but spiritually, architecturally, organically, perfectly his. Mind, body, soul, bulge, nook, whatever he wants from me. I think if he asked me to remain perfectly still in a corner of his hive like a doll for hours on end, simply to improve the atmosphere of his block, I would do so happily. I think if he wished to store objects on top of me, or in me, I would thank him for the privilege. I think if he forgot I was there entirely, I would feel entirely fulfilled knowing I had once briefly improved his day. I have started to research dietary supplements that will improve the taste of my blood if he ever desired to consume me. I must be considerate of such needs. But... maybe I should apologize to him. I fear he may be misinterpreting myself as someone normal. This isn't... a sudden development for me. I'm not usually manic, or, or experiencing faturation like this. This isn't my desperate flailing for his attachment. I am just a lowly gutterblood finally receiving the attention of a strong, handsome indigo. I have always been this way. Zebruh simply happened to be the best troll careless enough to point directly at me and call this wretched thing of a body beautiful and proceed to claim me as his. Most trolls wish to be loved as much as I am right now. I think I have always wished to be consumed. Not destroyed, eaten, converted, made into something greater. I want to be integrated and repurposed. Worn down by his strong hands into something useful and inseparable from him. I never understood where the line between romance and ownership has ever been. This much is true from my complete dedication to the Empress whose bulge, even now, permeates in my pan. Other trolls... their routines, rituals, digestion... Perhaps if they were sufficiently interested in me... But I bet you find this obsession unhealthy. I find the alternative to this very lonely. I don't want to just be held by him, I fantasize about being important to him. His pan should reach towards mind absentmindedly. I want him to forget where he ends and I begin. I want my presence to become embedded within him. I want to be so entwined with his daily life that removing me would be like tearing nerves from his body. But it's okay if he grows tired of me. Everything beautiful develops wear. I would only ask that he keeps whatever he finds useful afterward. The horns.... Perhaps my teeth... Hopefully my name... But it's strange. I don't think he understands that he has made a commitment either. I would never force on upon him. I would sooner remove my own pan than make demands of him. Of his radiance... No, I would know myself intimately enough to understand what happens to trolls after they decide they have become important to me. They leave. They would always leave. Flee to the corners of hemispheres unknown. They'd block me, some have begged me to stop speaking about them on Trollian or Chittr. One changed to a whole new typing quirk just because they were so distressed by how quickly I picked up inconsistencies in their emotional states. But they can never truly leave. I remember everything about the trolls I adore. The cadence in their speech to their most vulnerable of hours. The specific compliments that make them writhe in embarrassment, or the words they repeat unconsciously. I know the shape of their hunger and their fingers. The small hypocrisies in what they say and that they wish no one would notice. But I care for those things and preserve them lovingly. Like a jar in my thumper of embalming fluid and memories. I know Zebruh now. I will know him wholly and better. Slowly, completely, tenderly, he will become mine rather than I his. I know the exact moment he announced to me publicly. I have archived every single interaction he has ever had with any other troll on this platform. I have categorized them into emotional tone for easy revisitation during periods he may not be available to me and I would like to roleplay his continued existence out with my mirror. I know what colors flatter his face most strongly. I know the phrases he uses when he wants to appear more confident. I think he will realize soon that there are no other trolls who will ever know him as thoroughly as I do already, or intend to know. That must be relieving, to be so fully understood. To finally belong to someone as thoroughly as I belong to him. I wonder if he realizes yet that I am already becoming impossible to remove form his life. Because my love is cruel, and when done properly, my love should leave scars. #abuse But I hope he isn't frightened of me as a result of reading this. It's happened before. I've confessed my whole thumper out for someone to see. Trolls often become distressed upon realizing the extend they occupy my thoughts. They begin to interpret my devotion as obsession, or as a fixation. They think my affection is changing into surveillance, and my intimacy is closer to that of the bond between a manebeast who has hunted down a striped-hoofbeast. They get paranoid around me. They notice that I notice details they'd forgotten revealing to me. Once one cried because I remembered the exact timestamp of a message they had send to me sweeps earlier while they had forgotten it. I still think about it. The timestamp is in my pan. But Zebruh is different. He is strong, emotionally mature, progressive... He is a highblood ally to gutterbloods like myself. I trust that he understands that love like mine requires observation. I need to study him, to preserve everything the does. I would never neglect him by letting any details about him disappear ever. I have backed up all photographs I could find of him. If he died tomorrow, I would still need something left of him to continue loving. I have commissioned a small body pillow in his likeness for emotional regulation purposes during hours where he is asleep or otherwise unavailable. The artist was confused by the anatomical accuracy I provided but lo and behold they delivered regardless. I had to explain that accuracy is important when you decide to truly honor someone with your life wholly and fully. If Zebruh someday decides that he no longer wishes to be with me, I think, that would be alright too. Love would never end simply because access has been revoked. I would continue to improve myself for him. I would wear his colors, speak in ways he enjoys. I would cook meals according to how he likes to eat and leave the plate on the table every night in case he wanted to come back. The shrine I have built fo rhim since would be maintained in the eastern corner of my block. Photographs, preserved conversations, scented candled blended to match his unique musk, and maybe a few physical objects if he ever leaves anything behind in my block. I know some trolls might find it difficult to understand. But, I think, if someone truly alters the structure of your soul, they deserve to remain inside of it permanently. After all. He said I am his. I take vows very seriously.
sorry at what time? did u jst say 6 or 7...
He Has Grown Restless In My Brief Absence. I Will Have To Do Something With This. #positive #nsfw #nsfc
This Is A Dramatic, Artistic Reenactment Of What I Am Currently Doing To This Strawberry Shot Monster. #nsfw #larkdoodles https://i.imgur.com/ignaxzq.png
My Favorite Part About This Post Is That I Can Already Picture The Look On His Face When He Wakes To See It. #positive
@gabardineCrescendoo that's like yoour twin check this oout
Nootice hoow i gave much moore detailed answer too everyoone whoo was nice and poolite too me that's coompletely oon yoou broo
>> Hey man, eaડe off of h¡m.. He'ડ not condeડcend¡ng to you. 1et'ડ be n¡ce here, on a notab1y vu1nerab1e poડt. ://
◌ I had given your rechitt no second thought beyond the initial bout of surprise. It isn't necessary to inform me that you did it begrudgingly. Everybody has experienced a loss to some degree and everybody has felt the grief from it. ⧂
Out here getting beat by consciousness. That's a new low bar for the waking self.
Hhheh. thatsactuallyintheworks.
you're getting off...?
@aspiringPessimist #nsfw #bulgerating I forgot about posting this one! I got distracted with Nyrita's the other day... Forgive me highblood! I am no longer in my pod. #mypod so my readings may be worse! It has been a few days, so I figure I should put a little bit more effort into this particular bulge rating. As mentioned, bulge ratings going forward do get an image associated with general approval or disapproval of the bulge! Larkso here has definitely earned a positive rating from me! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c15a5232b436.png :) Onto the bulge itself! Larkso's stats are as follows: Strength: 5 (Little low for a Cobalt, but not terribly embarrassing! Still a strong contendor against other bulges!) Pliability: 8 (There is a lot of control with this particular bulge! Larkso has taken time to master jousting on a personal level!) Length: 6 (Slightly above average, and, kind of adorable...) Girth: 5 (Acceptable! Good even! Especially with the pliability.) X-Factor: 2 (Extra control over the bulge!) Additional factors regarding this bulge! Texture: Smooth, and slick. The secretions come from the tip and are the color #0047ab. Like, perfectly smooth. Which, is a very good jousting partner given that means Larkso won't get caught on your striations and can fence you particularly well. Scent: Larkso smells like... a sweetness of some kind. I can't put my nose to it, but it's almost like... Vanilla and Blueberry... Yeah... He smells kind of like a pastry! But uhm, that's also not considering his natural body scent. Which adds a mild malaise undertone to the smell in general, making him intoxicating! Taste: As opposed to the delicate bakery scent, this is much more akin to a liqueur of blueberry and maybe anise. It's a tangibly wonderful taste! Hheh. Again. Might be wrong on some of this! But please, even if I am wrong, enjoy the rating.
https://i.gyazo.com/5ed370cae815968d2947e616fca5eaef.jpg
You're so o8sessed with me.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED, JUST MAYBE, AND REALLY HEAR ME OUT ON THIS CAUSE THIS IS A LONGSHOT TURNING OFF YOUR NOTIFICATIONS? —EMBER💥
D--> There is a belief among humans that the consumption of high fat food is bad for one's digestive and cardiovascular system. This is quite the perple%ing opinion to have, while I am not an earth doctor by any means, I can confidently state that the more fat and plaques clogging up your arteries the harder your b100dpusher will work to get the necessary materials for life across your body. Less informed individuals would consider this an issue when it is the e%act opposite, it is training for your most vital and central muscle. According to this, in my opinion e%cellent, line of logic I would recommend eating as much fatty as possible until you get "heartburn" at which point you should immediately begin doing sets of jumping jacks, spreading eagles and push ups until the pain flows throughout your entire body indicating you have successfully pushed past the fat block. Continuous sets of gorging and fle%ing may temporarily lower your quality of life but will also turn your b100dpusher into the STRONGEST b100dpusher any human has ever had, giving you access to feats of physique rendered unimaginable by your millenia of faulty medical knowledge. Consider this free piece of advice a part of my #redemptionarc.
I hope you like my purring.
I could give you a hint at where it's located, if you like to play adventure games~
I would say "sike" if that were the honest truth, but you did just strip in front of me a few hours ago when the temperatures were too hot for your little organic body. Do you want me to deny that I peeked from my corner of the room to watch you peel off your clothes like an onion.
I really have to stop talking about my life at length for the basic of things.
SOME unanticipated hurdles in transporting some of the TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL contestants from their home dimensions to Earth-C, but trust we will emerge from behind these minor roadblocks victorious! Chryss has been running point guard on congratulating our contestants on their entry, but I'll be delivering the remainder of those messages this evening. Keep your eyes peeled.
I can not believe the effort the vast majority of you are making to keep me from rotting. It is incredible. I'm at odds with how much I am swooning.
if it blows up i will fuckin give u shit if u survive idc thx for helpin
i am already fuckin puttin more servers up karkat i have 100 towers up within an hour of fuckin savin my fiancés life rn how about u lend us some of ur fuckin servers
It seems you are all concerned about me, as it appears my moniker is "Hate Bot" but I am entirely unaware of the context. Incredible stuff.
@carbolicGalvanologist this your mans??????
do not wworry karkat i wwill not spill any of our metaphorical beans evven though you vvery much got me the wwrong wwine do not wworry ot wwas delicious
oh shitt im so excited i cant wait to sea which cobalt guy who keeps posting aboat you it is
You Look This Cute To Me. :>
Also! Sometimes He Looks At Me Like This And I Want To Rip Him Apart. ^,..,^ #positive #larkdoodles @carbolicgalvanologist https://i.imgur.com/4lp5rch.png
First, And Most Importantly. #larkdoodles @carbolicgalvanologist https://i.imgur.com/phhtdww.png
🜏 ii ♱hiink yɛ look niixɛ, don'♱ go♱♱a ♱ɛarr o♱hɛrrs down ♱o hypɛ urrsɛlf up man. ♅
Dashing.
youlook great.
Such is my lack o+f life. At the end o+f the night my actio+ns mean scant little and will be washed away. As fo+r yo+ur previo+us co+mment o+ur age difference makes me to+o+ unco+mfo+rtable to+ pursue anything o+f that nature.
Watch me burn at yo+ur alter. My piety sho+ws in ho+w I defile myself in yo+ur name. Lo+ve speaks in to+ngues and tangles and the bo+dy demands what the mind resists. #yearning #nsfw
You diidn't 2aniitiize your iinput or re2et your variiable2 two a known 2tate, but II wiill giive you a pa22 for tryiing, ju2t don't run iit on a real 2y2tem unle22 you liike unprediictable output.
D--> No I was showing support of your height deficiency. Do not listen to your inner demons Karkat, it is perfectly fine to only gain a few inches during your growth spurt after wrigglerhood. For rustb100ds anyway.
the hive i''''m in right now????
kek yeah i bet you WOULD love to put me in a jar and squeeze out all my ichor get in line
Due to @carbolicGalvanologist ‘s colorful language (see: PALPABLE BEZOAR OF DREAD), I have decided that his fortune should be at the front of the queue, if only because his request gave me my own palpable bezoar of dread in my digestion sac. Twinning. Karkat, you’re a natural-born leader, but you certainly do not need anyone telling you that. Or, perhaps you do? Maybe it’s just my intuition, but your foundations are shaken every time you attempt to prove yourself. It is hard for you to believe in yourself, even when others look to you in the eleventh hour. Just a hunch, but I would take this not-so-lightly, considering my intuition is my whole thing. The validation feels good though, surely. And it should; I mean it when I say you were created to be a leader. Which leads me to the prediction. This game show you’re partaking in is going to be extremely challenging on your psyche. Take care of yourself as much as you take care of your teammates, or risk losing it all. It would be a shame to see that. You still have a chance to turn the outcome Orbie showed me around. In the words of a one Hella Jeff: youve got to flip it TURNWAYS That is all. Best of luck, Karkat. *Should the reader wish to have their fortune read, please refer to my original post.*
A RAPID FIRE SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS METHODS OF CAKE DECORATION. Part one of ???. VINTAGE LAMBETH CAKES. Starting off on a complimentary note. Ah, my sweet Lambeth. Do give Lambeth Method of Cake Decoration and Practical Pastries by Mr. Joseph A. Lambeth himself a read if you're ever looking to expand your horizons. When done skillfully and with a tactful selection of colors, this layered piping method, all buttercream, can BOTH harken back to timeless luxury AND hop aboard whatever stupid internet aesthetic trend you've decided to embody until all its juice has run out on social media and you're stood holding the dry husk of those Walmart Valentine cakes. Heck, even done UNskillfully, I find the execution charming. The uneven shells and scrolls, all layered together, still culminate in a hot homemade mess worth digging into. Sisters, not octuplets. My ONLY CRITICISM. You will have to discard uneaten frosting at the end of your slice. The frosting ratio is imbalanced due to the superficial demands of the style. But you will find that the hours of intricate detailing smooth your psyche into a flat, winding path upon which you may cruise away the empty afternoon. Unfulfilled housewives with a #substance problem, this is the method for you. Forget your useless husband and children exist as you perfect the sugar fleur de lis. Also, color composition matters in this method matters. The MORE colors you use, the further you drift from cake couture to... homemade-fancy-frill? Monochromatic is most formal. Base color with white trim is cocktail attire. Base color plus different color trim (usually in pastels) is down to semiformal. Adding fruit knocks you down another peg. You will find this timeless method coupled with a myriad of ridiculous internet trends, as all metaphorical reheated nachos are wont to be. See: the bleeding heart-shaped cake with the knife sticking out. Something something Taylor Swift. Frankly, I say send her rear end back to country music. She's not doing anything for the pop genre in which she's been granted residency. Anyhow, try frosting a Lambeth sometime. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ace092e2fe0d.png
Her¹ lyricposting is my favorite thing to see on the dashboard, and that is saying a lot considering the extent to which I sit here and look at Chittr when I should be focused on my work.² ¹ #vagueposting ² But it isn't really.
bro wtf leave my alembic out of this you don’t even know anything about the alchemically created amniotic sac i left behind
hmmm look what i found >X3 [Video - 9 seconds long - A small static sound, then he says "check it out, found it while scavenging, kind of creepy? hmm" the uses a clawed fingers to tap at the very real knives to prove they are indeed lodged in there. A small shrug then the video ends pretty abruptly.] https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/582937022704.png [#gore just in case but nothing is graphic tbh, myart #myart]
So write a 8rand-new page, then write again I know your act is staged, yet you pretend All while you're turnin' ta8les With missing legs I think you've overstayed your welcome in So go the fuck away, don't come again I'll see your face in the fire And 8urn it out I don't wanna know all your secrets 'cause I'll tell It's hard enough 8eing alone with myself I don't know how long I'll 8e holding on I know you tried your hardest, I know that you meant it well 8ut you pushed me to the edge and I slipped and then I fell I don't know how long I'll 8e holding on #lyricposting https://open.spotify.com/track/2yAfzkn1JFekLsqVDDualq
DON'T POINT OUT MY AGE LIKE ITS SOME KIND OF FUCKING POINT YOU'RE MAKING, YOU BULGE-CHAFING, BLOOD-BROILING, IGNORANT PEST! NO, I DIDN'T REALLY WATCH YOUR ENTIRELY TOO LONG VIDEO DOCUMENTARY DEFENDING YOUR STANCE LIKE THE WHITE KNIGHT OF NONSENSE YOU FUCKING ARE- I SKIMMED IT, WHICH IS THE HONORABLE THING TO DO. THAT BEING SAID, YOU DEFINITELY ARE THE ONLY OTHER ME ON HERE I HAVE EVEN A GRUDGING RESPECT FOR. TAKE MY CRUMBS AND BE GRATEFUL, PEON.
OH GET YOUR CONDESCENDING ASS OUT OF HERE! I'M NOT TAKING THIS SHIT FROM A GUY WHO'S ENOUGH OF AN EGOMANIAC TO GO STAR ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!
D--> I cannot wait. For your feedback I mean. My dms are wide open, enter them as you wish. You have that right as compensation for the unfortunate circumstances caused by my behaviour. Just give me a moment before entering, I need to gather some towels and while I understand your frustrations, could you hold back and pace yourself with the insults. They are not entirely undeserved but...perhaps spreading them out could cultivate some stamina and increase my endurance to the humiliation I am enduring. I must go now before my keyboard malfunctions any further from the spar% caused by my sweat.
D-->In an odd way I understand how you feel Karkat. Despite the utter superiority of my internal bodily systems I do feel an ounce of motion sickness coming over me, all the boats I visited before this point were inside dreambubbles that were far less tempestuous. However, unlike your rather negative view I find the sensation pleasant, my body challenged, in a certain way being rearranged by nature itself. I wonder if this is that oh so pleasureable sensation ancient Typheunoon riders 100ked so pleased with. It might have been the odd inverted plug that was on their seats that had something to do with it, letting them feel each course and bump of the waves. Also to clarify when I say my body is superior to yours, I am not referring to our difference in b100d colour but rather the fact that you as an individual are rather unathletic and that I am the e%act opposite. I am in my #redemptionarc so any insults are based on your personality traits and quirks as a person rather than the inherent biological faculties you were hatched or ectobiologically cursed with. #nsfw
Went out and we're getting some crabs. @tipsyGalactica @goliathsTerror #fishingfriday
D-->To show some solidarity with my former neighbour I will also share my favourite nautical vessel although calling it a ship would be inaccurate. The Typheunoon was a chariot that used no engine nor mechanical device to fuel its movement, instead the rider would paddled their e%tremely strong LEGS and FEET which would be inside a fleshy sack e%tending below the underside protecting both from the seas acidic nature and rendering them more manoeuvrable under the waves. Furthermore two hippocampi, a legendary subspecies of muscle beast now sadly e%tinct, would be hoisted to the metal chassis and ride with the occupant into battle. The chassis itself was barely enough to contain the rider and 100ked a bit like a bowel but I assure you from all depictions and art sources I could find it was a mesmerizing sight to see the riders go into battle. Their breastplates bulging as the salt licked at the metal and as the moons scattered their precious light onto the water droplets they accrued blinding allies and foes alike. The breastplates were massive, the devices were only ever used by Indigob100ds after all due to our BRAVERY and RESILLIENCE to getting repeatedly shot at. Unfortunately they were retired as weapons platforms as the mortality rate for a driver was around 300% with a 200% margin of error after two sweeps. Our bows, for what other weapon would a noble rider employ, could pierce even the toughest of hulls but the sad fact is that getting shot at by guns is not good for the muscle density of even the strongest of indigo b100ds and the hippocampi would struggle under all the metal and muscle and sweat. Still, I believe it was one of the Empire's greatest mistake to forget the concept. Perhaps some Feferis will reconsider that decision now that I have dusted off their forgotten majesty.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/892250f0bc08.png
Thank You For Your Candid Review Truthfully I Already Kind Of Figured This Is Exactly What Youd Give As Your Opinion On That Record But Felt It Necessary To Ask Anyways For The Posterity Of Your Overall Rankings And Also Because I Wanted To I Must Admit Ashen Triangle Has Grown On Me Over The Sweeps It Is A Highly Pitiable Tune Indeeed
Ccowbar
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 ALRIGHT BIG DAWGS, ALPHAHAS, SIGMAS, AND CHILLER MUTHAHAFUCKERS. OFFICIAL #FIGHTNIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT. THAHAT SHIT'S STARTING A LITTLE LATER, YOU SHOULD BE THERE. SHIT'S GONNA BE MUTHAHAFUCKING MAGICAL. :o) SEE YOU THERE AT 6PM EST.
MUST SEE: Mark loses his Virginity! (CLIP)
O-> Mr. Vantas Said I Sho+uld Watch Mo+re 'Resident Evil' So+ I Shall O-> Nemesis Is.... So+mething 🤭
To the residents of Earth-C, and to those watching this unfortunate spectacle unfold from afar. I believe it is time I speak plainly. The individual styling herself as the Woegothe Curatrix no longer acts with my endorsement, my guidance, or my approval. Whatever philosophical alignment once existed between us has deteriorated into something unrecognizable. Her recent actions, rhetoric, and displays of force have crossed boundaries I cannot, and will not, justify. I will not defend the cultivation of fear as governance. I will not defend the transformation of grief into theater. And I will not defend the elevation of suffering into architecture. Many of you have chosen to associate her actions with me directly. Given our prior association, I understand why. That burden is mine to carry. I introduced her to circles of influence and intellect that amplified her voice. For that lapse in judgment, I offer a sincere apology to those harmed or frightened by what followed. However, let me make one matter abundantly clear. I do not wish for retaliation. I do not wish for mobs, crusades, executions, or reciprocal atrocities carried out in my name against her or her followers. Too many of you already seem eager to feed yourselves into yet another machine of outrage. I refuse to contribute to it further. The situation surrounding the Empire State structure and the occupation of New York has already escalated beyond reason. Additional bloodshed will not restore what has been lost. It will merely create more ghosts demanding justification. Therefore, I am calling for immediate de-escalation. To the Curatrix herself, should these words reach you: Leave the tower peacefully. Release your hold over the city and those enthralled within your orbit. Come to the table willingly, before frightened people force catastrophe upon one another in pursuit of vengeance. You are not beyond return unless you choose to be. To everyone else, I ask for restraint. Speak to one another. Protect civilians. Document truth carefully. Refuse hysteria wherever possible. Civilizations rot quickly when every disagreement becomes a holy war. Let us not become carrion creatures gnawing at one another simply because it is emotionally satisfying to do so. I remain willing to mediate peaceful resolution efforts personally. For whatever that promise may still be worth to you.
You might be right Brighell★....
Taking pot shots at this seadweller that's zipping around on a Ski-Doo and the entire crew starts cheering every time we hit the water close enough to flip her into the drink. This is the inter-caste unity the empire doesn't want you to know a8out!!!!!!!! #sheslovingit #flippedherlikefourtimes #shes8ackforafifth #FLARPlife
I d8n't know why I 8other hanging out with @arachnidsGripes , iT'S SOMEHOW LIKE, 8EING IN A RIDICULOUS ECHO CHAM8ER, wITH YOURSELF, eXCEPT EXPONENTIALLY SHITTIER, 8ECAUSE SHE'S A R8GING 8ITCH, eXCEPT SOMETIMES WHEN i AGREE WITH HER IT MAKES ME, h88888888 myself all the more!!!!!!!!
can i join? i think I need it.... bad :/