♦ pitied by @coralCrown

alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted to do the propaganda for her, so here you go. #nsfwv. #nsfc too, but not the c youre thinking of. "its ya boy eridan ampora here vwith a guest rewvievw on alternias biggest caked up baddie our leadin broad in the beam for #cronusbabeoff hovwre all likin my vwintage hic edition penthouse by the wvay pretty groowvy huh cost me a pretty caegar but it wvas totally wvorth it an yknowv its the real deal too cause its got her signature shade a coral pink semi gloss #2 stamped across the covwer wvhen im feelin advwenturous i take my condy penthivwe out a her plastic slip an ewver so gently stroke her lipstick mark vwith a quivwerin finger wvith my other flipper placed firmly against my crotch anyvway im afraid the competition has been crushed by the empresss unholy cake grinder the rest a you booty impaired ladies can go hivwe novw" yeah. yowvza. #cwv-cakesitting. <3 or <> for condy. <3< or c3< for rosie.

The much anticipated 2000s tier list. MOST of these series I watched either as they were released or in syndication throughout my childhood, so the metric of my enjoyment is both through the lens of nostalgia and by my old, much less skeptical yardstick. Shall we proceed to the 90s?

A tier list concerning animated series from the 2010s specifically. MOST of these series I have watched only as an adult, given they would have come out partially or in their entirety after my departure for The Medium. Next is the 2000s!

The face he makes when he wants [to escape and assassinate you]. I haven't an inkling as to why he's still so ornery after all these years. I bring refreshments and everything! Coochie coochie coo.

꧁@gutsyGumshoe #nsfw #HumanInverseOfABulgeRating #BulgeRating #Nook2 Okay. It took my a minute. Because I had to come up with a new system. Controversial human nook⎠bulge rating. I can't apply length, girth, pliability, or strength because of the minute scale. This is my first time, so. correct any mistakes! Pulchritude: 8 out of 10. There are no notable physical flaws with your particular system. Though, it is alien to me. It almost looks like a shy bulge! Hehe. The hood is ornate like an Auxilatrix's cloak as she cares for grubs. Durability: 10! From what I can gather, you can take quite the beating as compared to the other human composite references I was permitted to speak with. The vulva is plush like safety cushions. Hydration: 7! Uhm. Your labia lips have recently been quite, erm, soaked as it were! At least, excited. Rigidity: 3! This is a score, uhm, you want lower. It's sort of the inverse of pliability? This is, however, in regards to your actual vaginal opening. It seems to be able to not only be able to foster human genitalia but is just rigid enough to allow even the most pliable of bulges enter without it begin and embarrassing mush. X Factor!: 10! H-hhhhHOWdoIdescribethiswithoutgettingkilled? Uhm. Your innerworkings, your, uuuterus is quite active. THough behind your bulwark of a cervix, your ovaries and uterus are, putting in??? Overtime??? Like any good CEO!꧂

To reiterate, the #OldYoutubePlaylist will air from 11 AM EST tomorrow morning until it ends, which presumably will be around 8 PM. All are welcome to attend. I'll be posting the link shortly before airtime and throughout the day. Feel free to blacklist #OldYoutubePlaylist to avoid the reminders. DISCLAIMER. I am merely purporting to have cultivated an ERA-ACCURATE playlist. I cannot speak to your personal enjoyment. If you get onto the OLD YOUTUBE PLAYLIST and find the comedic stylings of "Like Mah Status," "Fred Goes Swimming," "Charlie the Unicorn," and "Taking The Hobbits to Isengard" to be dated and blase, I CANNOT HELP YOU. :B See you there!

Shopping trip. #BettyCrocker #Reup #NeedMyMix #Yummers!

i am THRILLED to announce the opening of the botanics of earth-c quantum uranium enrichment research and laboratories, also known as the becquerel center!!! this is just the first step in creating a sanctuary for the botanical life that can be found all over our wonderful planet, and the first step in our multi-pronged educational outreach program!!! keep tuned for more announcements and events in the future as we continue to expand!!! #earthc #botanicalgarden #scientificoutreach #educationaloutreach


Calling you psycho the way that you're desperate, Scribbling proclamations like an illiterate text-wit. Shit was clipped out of context? Bitch, quit grasping at straws, She won't step on your face, but I'll enforce some laws. You think she's your purpose, your sole reason for life? You're just a cog in the system, perpetual victim of strife. Weeping bodily fluids like they're bars in the sand, While we're out here running empires you can't comprehend. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest of all? A total non-entity tryna play ball. Read, reread the garbage you vent in and out of the feed, See you’re a footnote in history for anyone's heed. Sucker for attention, can't think beyond your erection, All for a friend of a friend, no preestablished connection. You're kicking it solo, forever a clone, An absolute nobody wasting time on his phone. Dave's playing fuckin' ball? You do got that legacy, But the way your shit's twisted is downright fuckin' heresy. Get my knob off your mind, drop the text that you signed, You’re swinging out of your league and getting aligned. Quoting anime at me? Let's check back into reality, Your fragile mentality can't face my brutality. Your game is already dead, no head, no crown, Just a supplementary Strider acting like a clown.

@carbolicGalvanologist I would be remiss not to deliver upon my promise to celebrate your presence in my life- in the only dark, earthy tones that seem to proportionately convey my appreciation. Behold. I have named her The Bogtrotter. Twenty-four layers and ten inches in diameter. Roughly the weight of a rotund first-grader. Old Bruce himself could not have served you better if he'd been liquefied and baked into a juvenile diabetic puck. Happy Wriggling Day, KV. From your pal. :B

I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're watching old Youtube for the next six hours. Excluding official music videos, but including noteworthy brand advertisements. Justin Beiber's Baby is out. Rebecca Black's Friday is in. Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" is a-go. We have a sensible bouquet of Key of Awesome, The Gregory Brothers, and the RESPECTABLE Lonely Island skits. The old ones, with the homemade aesthetic. We have a thirty minute block of talking and/or emoting baby videos, followed by an Annoying Orange "Wazzup" palate cleanser, immediately followed by thirty more minutes of various cat videos. Nyan Cat falls under the animated chapter of the docket rather than the feline, for what I hope are obvious reasons. We then have a full hour of adult men angrily reviewing various pieces of media AND/OR ragequitting from a game. I like to mix my unjustifiable tirades with full-blown meltdowns for variety. From there we dive headfirst into the animation section. I've compiled a Llamas with Hats extended edit, amongst others. Then I say we cut a left to comedic skit dub-overs, culminating in The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Then onto the bloopers. We have a SUPERCUT of various gaffes and boners ranging from popular cinematic works to voice-acting to news reels. Our musical outro will be the DJ Earworm United State of Pop 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 in that order. THEN if you're still feeling froggy, we can pivot to old-school brawling videos caught on tape, from your phone, under the blankets. You will have to hold the phone up. And then sex I guess. #NSFW.

howw is this goin to affect the beach party
Some patients can't 8e saved, 8ut that 8urden's not on you........ #auto8iographical #lightempath theantlers #lyricposting #rel8tionships


