♦ pitied by @carcinoGarlic
iT 🔔 rEaLlY 🔔 iS! 🔔 SoMeTiMeS I 🔔 sWiTcH 🔔 tHeM 🔔 aNd tHeY CaN'T TeLl tHe dIfFeReNcE!
8=l < Oh no
I have resumed traveling acr9ss the alrernian desert, 6ut as I've 6een wandering f9r a little while I realized s9mething, the desert d9esn't exactly l99k like alternias and last thing I seem t9 recall 6ef9re well I guess waking up here was...me in a pair 9f handcuffs as h9russ sh9t a arr9w thr9ugh me, where am I exactly if this isn't alternia.
8=l < It's always the same people who like my potentially suggestive posts 8=l < Say it to my face you want me to do something to you
Fuckin curse this blasted storm, it's tossing my ship left and right in these stormy vwaters and me crewv is barely holding on, guess I'll havwe to take control of the helm and try to steer us out of this accursed storm.
Sometimes, girlfriends are sort of like balloons! You can hold their tail and walk around. BUT!! You cannot make your voice sound funny by breathing them in.
2cathiing one there. good job buddy.
Cod, I forget howv vwarm it gets as it gets closer to day time out on the sea, curse alternias harsh sun, vwhat's evwen vworse is that soon it'll be vwinter upon us and I knowv parts of the sea are gonna freeze up into ice, that's gonna be a pain navwigating through.
I'm trying to relax and this blasted crewv of mine is making to much noise on the top deck, might take control of the helm and sail seaport bound for a little vwhile since resting is out of the option for me, maybe sail to land and go out to buy myself some proper Ale, grog and rum for myself. #substance
With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied-- chains us all irrevocably
0kay, i dont really kn0w you but thanks for the interest ig.
WH3R3'S TH3 F4T BOYS 4ND G1RLS 4T?
Gotta clean my fuckin boots nowv too, stepped in some of the spilled putrid midblood, its gonna take forevwer to clean it off my boots and cape.
Fuckin useless crewv, some midblood just vwent ovwerboard and got ate up by the stormy sea, I svwear I am going to lose my sanity.
...some karkats are badgers, some are chihuahuas. i will not specify which....
Had some sushi today.
ii feel liike there ii2nt enough true captorpo2tiing goiing on iin thii2 biitch and iit2 a drought that mu2t be rectiifiied. thii2 wiill happen 2oon mark my word2.
COOLING FANS SHOULD HELP YOU AVOID SUCH PROBLEMS
8=l < Great news
https://fi7e.g4rden/4gV0WpM0uzVg953h/Beefyguy.png Everything is SET UP Y0! S0 excited. first time in this p4rt 0f the w00ds. I've he4rd s0pme weirrd n0ises but i d0nt think. th4t's 4n issue.
*、i WI11 SH0V3 4 B411 G4G UP Y0UR 4SS！⚡️
*、i H4T3 THIS 4ND 411 0F Y0U 0N CHITTR！⚡️
Very accurate, but you forgot to add the mouth gag on him. #nsfw
#hornyposting because my katana is in desperate need of a spit shine.
to not damage his reputation i won't oblige
...probably an assumption based on most chittr users posts....
is it actually rabbit season? :( #suggestive
kid what the fuck.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ go on vant-ass charm me then sweetheart ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ exxxaaaaactly ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ the charm the crab? alternia is so backwards ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Who you calling hoe. HOE. [LAYING DOWN] but. hell yes i'M #SeeingDat.
so you allowed him to piss on your wife? very pathetic.
I wonder if any of those midnight crew people are on right now, I could use a good smoking buddy or two, maybe some new cigarette brand recommendations. #substance
Baby girl, you are bound, blushing, booty up. What do you MEEAANNN
Hey. What.
karkat getting kinky on the tl
Whatever you say. little man.
*、d3R3K WH4T TH3 FUCK DUD3！⚡️
xx_today....._iz_a_GUD_DAY_xx
iT'S LiKe fInE. i'm fInE. nOt eVeN DoInG ThE QuAd sHiT No mOrE. tHiS Is fInE (o:
next time the only advice i’m giving that guy is ‘don’t be old’. man meditating my shit.
NOT TO SOUND LIKE A FREAK ON MAIN, BUT SOME DAYS, I ACTUALLY KIND OF LIKE CLEANING.
pAn hurts
What's wro+ng?
8=l < Hello my name is Hephaestus and I've come here today to get a grip
He bit me
8=l < I don't trust that pink Horuss
its crazy that we ALL (yes we) have to find the needle in a haystack one night...
D3F1N173LY P0571N9 M0R3 PH0705 L473R LMF4000.
☆ > I can
8=l < I doubt you're diffic001t to handle
☆ > I suspect "not handling you" is because you'll cry uncontrollably because you're so touch starved ☆ > In that case I would like to try
@carcinoGarlic are you vvolunteerin lad
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- Ωf ☪︎ΩurΣ-∊ Ɨ ☪︎Ωm-∊ fȺΣ♱! Ɨ gΩ♱ fƗΣⴵ ♱Ω ☪︎Ⱥ♱☪︎ⴵ! -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
aint had redblood nook in a longass time i could change that but like strangers are so borin compared to my actual partners im in open relationships by the wway dont hop my ass #nsfww or wwhatevver
Sorry I haven’t been here I got kidnapped (this is a joke, I’ve been busy).
#purple
Hes at my house during the week unless im working so its not that cruel
d0 y0u guys believe in l0ve at first sight 0r first meeting i supp0se
if a bitch follows me who i already have followed ill typically unfollow and refollow them so they dont have to feel guilty abt not making the right choice sooner a public service really
easy there pizza pieclops we still havent resolved why your bitch ass only got one eye in your selfie or what happen to odysseus and his men gonna take a lot more than poseidons pissiness and a whole nother post to make me forget that fuckup
you ever ragebait so hard you get a bitch in trouble with her parents
only if you dont know what youre doing at all times
[MESSAGE BEGIN]- - Relax, you’re all weirdos. - - [MESSAGE END]
affirmations! you can enjoy whatever you want to, even if it's casual! don't let some loser tell you you cant!
means do it
hot.
bet
How many people actually show up to the Sunday orgy?
apostrofeast your eyes on this @amorousChanteuse juego listo que trabajo comienza el partido ¿quien carajo interpreta tu papel a conmigo? hope to fuck it isnt cami madam princess imposter industry plant equivalent of a royal family foster you sing about positions that youll never fucking be in kama sutras a bitch read up n see what im seein why spend all your time sucking ass on the mic sit and spin right here you try-cycle bike cause all that effort and you still aint cracked top three dashing circles round you like a bitch beat absentee every tour you got unsold like an unwed divorcee im still taking half which is straight nothing out from nothing oh lucky me tightest hot pants ever seen w jack shit underneath cept a camel toeing lines like that things got teeth te vendes como oro pero eres apenas cobre oxidado tu reputación en el barrio es como cobra amado nobodys ass is charmed by a snake with a forked tongue bout to beat a boa bitch with my words like its no.1 2002 thats her best hit single btw not that youd know as the least hits single with no awards won suck the cess out success cause your acts been upstaged pouty princess stomping feet cause her quiet bits all the rage got you goin instrumental when you choke on this verse all the pitchy little shrieks you hold coulda used a rehearse you break glass not glass ceilings not that im throwing stones cause the last whore that happened to got met w jesus groans dame tu camiseta and please dress better as a fan i cant stand the thought im an aid and abetter im desperatepacito get your act motherfucking together or stay amiga incognito
way to harsh the vibe dude
:.(
If you hold onto me I will chuck you into a pot of boiling water.
When I get home I gotta date with a downy feather pillow and some nitequil
if you wwant to put it in an ovverly simple and juvvenile manner sure yeah it rain
bu!9e $o !on9 ¡ can u$e ¡7 a$ a wh¡p
8=l < What's the tag for today 8=l < Which photo do I post
dAnCiNg! SpInNiNg!(TiNg)tWiRlInG!(tInG)JoKeS(TiNg)aNd jApEs aNd aLl tHiNgS JeStErY!
Find so+meo+ne who+ likes to+ be clung to+. Who+ are yo+u being clingy abo+ut, darling?
⏾ I w﴾ ﴿rry s﴾ ﴿metimes f﴾ ﴿lks g﴾ ﴿n' think I'm ﴾ ﴿verw﴾ ﴿rkin' dat b﴾ ﴿y.
@craftsmanToxophilite Hey Heph. When you're done fucking your ro8ots I want to see you.
Gay
Its a flattering photo of me even when cropped you dork
Nice #nsfw
aSs(tInG)FoR(TiNg)a fAcE(TiNg)fAcE(TiNg)fAcE!
tEeHeE(TiNg)tEeHeE(TiNg)tEeHeE~! YoUr rEaR BeCaMe(tInG)YoUr(tInG)FrOnT!
print("there may be plenty of fish in the sea") print("but fuck me i am bad at fishing")
8=l < It is time to crawl into someone's bed and cuddle them awake 8=l < Who sh001d I choose
sOmEtImEs i bE LiKe dAmN My mOtHeRfUcKiN AnCeStOr wOuLd bE MaD DiSaPpOiNtEd tHeN I ReMeMbEr tHaT MoThErFuCkEr dEaD HoNkHoNkHoNk hOnK HoNk bEtTeR LuCk nExT TiMe bIg bItCh hOnK HoNk hOnK
does hunting ghosts together qualify as a date? asking for a friend
\ ...1 th1nk 1 just saw hell? /
prꙮ tip: it's better tꙮ ꙮwe 50 peꙮple 1 mꙮney than it is tꙮ ꙮwe 1 peꙮple 50 mꙮney - The Non-Mystical Regular Guy Man
If they can hear heavy metal, that means I’m fat. I can’t believe this.
hahahaha yesss LOOK OUT WORLD HERE I COME
wait wait its all making sense of course its a test of my will and determination to succeed to make sure i dont immediately get my ass kicked when i step outside of the safe zone in that case take THIS please let me down thank you kindly
hey whoa cmon man that wasnt part of the plan how am i supposed to show off my epic sicknasty moves against the world and defeat the big baddie if youre holding me back
n* but /**k$ <@n b€ d€<€!v!ng
time to roll up these sleeves and really put on the protagonist charm then huh look out world ready or not here i come
hE'S So fUcKiNg wEiRd, CaN'T NoT FuCk eM
8=l < Oh fxddlxsti%
8=l < A% me anything 8=l < I will tell you 8=l < Also three 8=l < I have three horses
Made the mistake of spying to see what "entertaining" himself meant.
8=l < My mates are busy so my lap is still empty 8=l < Not a fan
lets play limbo babe
G0 0n
8=l < What is that
What if I horny post once. Would I be shot on site?
y0u know i never did get my sh0rt rib grilled cheese.
8=l < I remember when I posted a video of myself eating lava 8=l < That was stupid
well if youve got someone who says theyve got your best interests in mind and therefore you shouldnt have any opinion they dont agree with then ok you can ignore your gut feeling and start shaming people left and right in order to maintain your image to that one person instead of risking being woke
I'm sure you will champ
8=l < Reminder that you can touch my muscles if you say please
Love posting that milestone surprise before this and now everyone is talking up their chesties, y'all are not helping it go down lmfao #suggestive
Christmas gets earlier every year smh
Boo https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/47a989cb4257.png #nsfw #selfie #nude #milestone #happytwohundredfollowers
Remember that embarrassing thing you did a while back?
I've always wanted too have a picture oof myself riding a mechanical bull shirtless
#fishfuckfriday cancelled F0REVER #nsfw
apparently i dont qualify for fat fuck friday but know i am looking so respectfully from behind these shades
im so sad
I need kisses and attention
Damn right.
1 should make peace w1th my 1nab1l1ty to... Be properly soc1al.
8=l < Does someone need punched 8=l < It sounds like someone needs punched
I want to have a sloppy makeout sess with someone....
Sorry it was hurting , do you feel better now though?
You ok?
yOu nOt sLeEpY BrO? tHaT SwEeT SlImE AiN'T CaLlInG YoU To fUcKiN DrEaMvIlLe?
Hal I swear to god, im not crazy stop that. Youre making me feel like im going senile someone back me up
running my hands down my face.
you are ac7ua!!y $uppo$ed 7o 7ake $hower$ every 2 week$
modern day gen z phrases i think timeline alpha dave (the famous kind) would say with little to no context part 1 of 1 "you're funny im buying you"
Yeah no, come on I have standards here.
8=( < Why did he stop the horse
glad im still not online
Imagine picking on an old man...
people vwant freaky sex but then vwhen I take my head off, they chicken out. :/
w you dod thsi the first time and didng have a joke ready im waiting to be impressed
i ran out of my meds so, sorry for my behavior in advance but this is the only apology you guys are getting
...the hate react will come any second now....
i think i could get more pathetic
Maybe I need a power bottom in my life. #nsfw #pondering
Let's go eep
S@metimes I dr@p my p@lmhusk @n purp@se just t@ see wh@t h@ppens!
I feel like this is a dangerous thing to announce but, Im single prior to what yall think.
po22e22iivene22 ii2 awe2ome, but you know what el2e ii2 awe2ome? #po22e22iing a #job. joiin the help2men today! #thehelp2log
A LOT OF YOU TALK STRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR ASS, BUT IF YOU WERE PRESENTED WITH ANY OF THE SHIT ANY OF YOU CLAIM TO BE ABLE TO TAKE AND DEAL WITH, YOU'D CRUMBLE. ANYWAY, I GOT SHOT AT WORK TODAY. WHAT'S UP?
Nah, I don't gotta answer this one, you're a smart guy use context clues and figure out if I enjoy answering them or not.
You gonna hold them for me if I dont?
im normal now
damn, maybe 1 should sleep p1le more often. 1 feel so not t1red as usual
I mean. How do you feel about it? *gets out clipboard*
Need t0 make 0ut with s0me0ne sl0ppy style #suggestive
shit i shouldn't have drank that last night
*、g0T B4D N3WS F0R Y0U TH3R3！⚡️
VvvvvvvvvvvV ૮×ﻌoა 💬 this one goes out 2 all my fans ૮×ﻌ=ა 💬 youre getting touched ^^^^^^^^^^
dude i was being productive like a normal dude and i get fucked by stepping directly on a piece of cactus i just sat here for ten whole minutes picking out each spike with tweezers
can zomeone do zometh:ng :nterezt:ng on the feed? thankz.
Crabs are actually closer related to spiders then any sealife.
asDZfxgchvjbknlm;jhgkvjblkn;lm;, 'k;j'phoglihkj;k'l;kljkhgjhfdhjgkhlj;k'l;iulyktjhdgjklj;k'jlhgkfjdhgxcjvhkbln;m
*、cR4ZYYY！⚡️
misread that as smelling.
you fell for my trap card i commit to the bit
we live in the walls youre never safe
holy fuck dont pity that it was supposed to be a joke
a cool guy such as myself couldve like idk been a twitch streamer but instead i get hungover on tuesdays
i flirt by liking pitying mediating and hating chits or maybe i dont youll never know
Ugh. STILL THINKING AB⊚UT IT. I'm n⊚t particularly PHYSICALLY attractive BUT!! I w⊚uldn't call myself CH⊚PPED!! I HAVE F⊚UR PHDS!!! AND C⊚UNTING!!! I HAVE A L⊚T G⊚ING F⊚R ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
love posting random shit and getting people in my dms like hey man, you good? im just saying shit guys lmao
i remember my first time speaking dont worry youll get there one day keep practicing
some people really need to be put in their place. #not-talkin-about-heirarchy-bullshit. #suggestive. #nsfw.
you interacting because you want me to huh
i do cool guy things man get with the fucking program
are you really garlic flavored or were you born like that
not to be catlike or anything but i want to lay down on someone and just nap
i'm going to hurt someone any volunteers
That’s really cute of you. Should I make airplane noises too? I tease, I feed you one strawberry 🍓 🦀
...just friends who hug and lay on each other for warmth ^^ yes, this makes sense....
,,if i cant be horny on a monday morning is life even worth living,, ,,#nsfw,,
*「 you know i think if i held a sword to someones throat and they told me it was hot i would change my approach and stab somewhere else repeatedly. 」
dude idfk my bro is on some shit our apartment's lock inside out LMFAO and i js broke my arm so not a good idea rn
