♣ mediated by @torvousCarnifex
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh my gosh! whaaaat! the masquerades OVER already???? but how are going to solve the REEL mystery of the day: like, how did this picture of these two suspicious fishies get onto my palm husk? dont these medicullers have a JOB to get to???? }9u9{ }9u9{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ whaleeee! if youre ever looking four the good docterror + the nurse shark again, PLEASEEEE give @carbonatedCaravanserai + me a call! so we can be soooo TIDALLY CONFUSED aboat it too! like! who even is that!!!! }>7<{ }>7<{ #outglutmasquerade #hicacontent #medicullercore #workplaiceaffairs }˚₊⊹ ࣪
all of you b1tchbeasts and nooksuckers W1SH you had my ass on tap #th1rstpost1ng #suggest1ve ((art by sarcasmprod1gy!
id like to congratulate the brilliant minds at gentlemens quarterly^2 for their impeccable taste in princes and wwizards not the wworst newws to come back to after an extended holiday in another univverse ((art by @gallivvantingGourmand!)) #gpoe #gq^2 #fitcheck
much as id lovve to continue loiterin around this quaint little pastoral shithole drinkin wwhipped instant energy sludge and inflictin terrible vviolence on the locals vvia the means a my eager manservvant all good things must come to an end except OBVVIOUSLY my reign as prince a hope wwhich wwill last ad infinitum lucky for me before i dropped @gallivvantingGourmand off at the torture cylinder depot and began scribing my teleportation circle for one a certain foulblooded bitch of unfathomably ill repute @handMaid fleww across the sea and only mildly destroyed the countryside so to join me for spinach grub pies and energy sludge wwhile wwe wwatch castio duel someones dire cholerbear lusus to the death in the vvillage square ill miss this place #slaycation #gladiating #finality #randomvviolence #miniongoals #gpoe
clovver has been released from confinement as a flesh cube due to my forgivvin nature #nicedan
thanks i stole it from @gutsyGumshoe
the truest and most vvirtuous erimaniacs remember my real crucifixion at the climax a #ERIDANWWEEK
#gpoe #timemagazine #earthc #creators #hope
fuckin guy has the nervve to ask me howw i kneww about his bomb plot my brother in hope i scried it in my crystal sphere wweeks ago #crockercorp
#amporacoin is on a legendary 3.11% ascent into the heavvens wwe might be so fuckin back eribros
↗️THEY HATE TO SEE A SALARYTROLL WITH SWAG.↗️
/goreg𝐋ed gay chud n this wuz the first pic to cum up fr 𝐋mfaooooo 💯💯 we r nvr getting out of the subgrub 🔥 @irrefutab𝐋edeca𝐋ogue https://cdn.imgchest.com/fi𝐋es/025f63cf293c.png
:33 < Save me 4 shots of espurresso.... Save me...
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ saw a crockercorp agent do this to a homeless troll on earth c because he asked if their policies would help with grocery prices https://file.garden/ZaNs35zqMBk7KeGf/crockercorp.gif ]
↗️THAT WILL ALSO BE SUFFICIENT.↗️ ↘️i was selfish.↘️ ↗️I SHOULD HAVE USED THEY.↗️
↗️IMAGINE THIS↗️ ↘️you are at work when you receive a text from him.↘️ ↗️"LOOK WHAT I FOUND~"↗️ ↘️with a picture of your imperial identification security card.↘️ ↗️"NO, PLEASE, DON'T DO IT."↗️ ↘️you beg.↘️ ↗️HE DOES NOT LISTEN.↗️ ↘️you receive another image, your card burnt and ashen under the heat of a raging flame.↘️ ↗️"GO TO YOUR OFFICE'S ABLUTION BLOCK AND SEND ME A SCREENSHOT OF YOUR DMB APPOINTMENT~"↗️ ↘️he forces you to endure countless bureaucratic instances.↘️ ↗️HE FORCES YOU TO NOT ONLY SUBMIT TO HIM, BUT TO SUBMIT TO THE MONOTONY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR BUGGIES.↗️ ↘️i am picturing it right now.↘️
"how may i shape your windpipe?"
Thank you, Chittr, for your many interdimensional connections. I've gotten into the habit of importing Old Alternian cosmetics on-planet for my own personal use. There is simply something undeniable about that formula. And per the box, it's Cruelty Guaranteed!
rarely does a meme spawwn from the earth c creator fandom that speaks to me wwith such profound vversimilitude #eridanagenda
her glorious iron Prong
I don't do that.
In honor of the destruction of the Journal Factory, here's a personal tidbit pasted to the wall for the whole of the multiverse to see. A RANKING OF WHICH CREATORS HAVE LET ME DOWN THE MOST MISERABLY. ENJOY!
You were posed like Piccolo
Oh. Ok. Do you intend to actually provide an example?
Yes. I sincerely doubt you could construct a single example which would exclude a Jane from my unwavering kinship!
... I was being supportive.
I still attest that you're the cream of the crop.
My #Allyship to the LGBT community does, despite popular belief, extend to those other iterations of myself pursuing alternative lifestyles. I mean, I don't necessarily "get" it, but even I can understand that anything is possible in the face of infinity. So this is a post of abject support. I love you, gay-Janes. Boy-Janes. Something-else-Janes. #LGBTQIA #Ally #MePersonally? #StillStraight
MORE PERSONAL CONFESSIONS FOR THE INTERDIMENSIONAL POPULACE AT LARGE! GREAT! THIS HANKY-PANKY IS ALL HUNKY DORY TO OLD JANE! #ALLY!!! #SEXPOSITIVE!!! At this point, I don't think the journal factory exploded. I believe a number of you banded together and BOMBED it.
Just this one. Isn't she a peach?
Very much so.
If I may, how long will it 8e until you have them tightened again?
Hm, dedicated to your position, are you? That's a good quality.
Youre gonna get knocked for manhandling the goods one of these days!
Miss Crocker, is all of your entourage this funny?
You crack me up.
Youre such a lovable little ragamuffin.
⚇ I won't even use all my quirk for this one. Show this shit the respect it deserves lmfao. --- To Kiss The Sun, Chapter 12 -- Fear and Longing "WE HAVE TO RUN, KULLEO!" The stars had already begun to disappear overhead as spilled orange Faygo stained the sky in rich hues as the sun began to rise. I stared in awe at the break of day, like a cuspidated grimalkin stuck in the headlights of a scuttlebuggy I felt trapped to the spot, my body shaking. I'd never seen anything so beautiful before, so thoroughly romantic. "This is what you get to see every day...?" I whispered to Fallan, eyes managing to turn away from the sunrise just enough to see the glitter of her pallid skin in the glow of its rays. She looked beautiful, even beyond the life that had long drained from her eyes, my cemetery girl stood shining brilliant in the dawn. Her eyes fell on me in that moment and we both knew, that everything we'd been through, everything we'd endured had all been worth it for the flush that we now shared between one another. The persecution, the pusherache, the daytime we now ran from...it was all worth it just so that we could stare at one another in this glorious moment and know we were two halves of one whole, just as the Messiahs prophecized! Okay, Isidor interjecting here. I might have to take them up for a little bit of blasphemy here but hey, the prose is pretty damn good, right? Kulleo is one hell of a writer! Okay back to the story: The moment was broken by my own traitorous wince as the sun's rays began to sting the top of my horns. It was bearable on the strong keratin, but once it touched the softer chitin of my face... "I told you, we need to hurry!" Fallan insisted, grabbing me by the hand and using all of the strength left in her to drag me back towards the shelter of the blackout tree, who's leaves would keep us completely obscured until night fell once more. We ran, managing to make the top of the trunk just as daylight singed the slightly exposed skin on my ankles, though I dragged it up just in time to avoid the worst of it. My sigh of relief came for both of us, for despite Fallan's lack of cardiovascular function, I could see the comfort plain on her face now that we were safe in the treetops. Peering over the side of the tree branch we'd perched ourselves on, I could see the sunlight bleaching the bottom of the tree in stark white, while further up the trunk remained its tell-tale stygian color. "We're safe for now" I murmured, allowing myself a moment to relax as I lay myself down on the thick branch, allowing my eyes to close as exhaustion pulsed in waves over my skin. "Emphasis on the for now part. As soon as the sun comes down, they're going to come looking for you again." I heard Fallan shuffle on the branch next to me, before feeling the brush of their old, raggedy shirt against my arm. She had lay down next to me, the cold of her skin atypical for one who had once been a warmer blood than I. I still sometimes watched, fascinated, as old, coagulated teal oozed from an open wound. I often wondered, in those moments, whether or not she could still be used for paint. Did her blood regenerate? Would wounds heal? There was just so much we didn't know... "...How long can we keep doing this, Kulleo?" her hoarse, raspy voice was taught with emotion. "How much longer until the ragrippers finally catch up with us? Or...Or a threshie squad manages to make good on their threats? Or the mercenaeronauts try to collect my bounty? This was never going to work! We're not meant to..." She paused, and though tears no longer flowed from her dead eyes, I knew that her soul was crying. I think that's about enough of airing out my student's writing on here. Gotta save some for its SlayO3, right? lmaooo. Hopefully this teaches it to make sure its sending the *right* document in future. ⚇
Been re-watching some of the footage from the Guttercade last night. I cant help it; i keep laughing my ass off at how shitty so many of you are at bowling. But there's hope! You can come back in two wipes and try to beat your record :). ((credit to @deathlessDeadwood 4 the lovely art!)) #guttercade #selfie
Unreal Heiress, hold my calls.
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ THE FELT HAS CLOSED. Thank you so much for coming to the #FeltOpening! We hope you had a wonderful time, and we hope to see you next week! Until then, it was lovely serving you. https://file.garden/ZaNs35zqMBk7KeGf/TheFeltClosed.png ]
>([saw t#is dude at t#e party i aint know w#o t#e #ell #e is but decided to make #im in wwe] #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/8c40deb018e1.png #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/41a8586628dc.png]
Ahem. *Lobby to criminalize. Crockercorp and I as its neofounder have no political authority over the Kingdoms, Human or otherwise.
But when I criminalize Creator Fiction, I'm the big stinking tyrant. Sure.
lookin into this
gIRLS WITH GLASSES ARE, bEAUTIFUL,
Good lord. Whether or not you ideologically APPROVE of The Felt as an institution, could the naysayers button their stupid slack mouths? All you are doing at this point is degrading the effort to host and advertise a communal event by a relatively low-ranking, arguably WELL-MEANING toady who is personally mixing your cocktail and fixing your snack. If you think you could do better, I encourage you to try. Otherwise, shut the fuck up, buster! :B
Wait what.
I don't understand the expectation that an iteration of Jake English must be positively shredded. I like my Jake just the way he is. Frankly, the EXTREMELY conventionally attractive Jakes are almost off-putting. They hardly resemble him!! Sure, he hasn't retained his youthful... silhouette. But who has the metabolism they had when they were sixteen? Jakes of Chittr, don't you fret. Pick that fork back up, pally.
Jake came over this morning while I was still dressing for today's event, scoped me without makeup, and IMMEDIATELY gasped and asked me if I was coming down with something. :|
Lovely dress, miss Crocker. Only you could pull it off. ::::)
swweet gleamin hope
DON'T LOOK AT ME 𓂃۶ৎ [ As much as many of you will whisper and gossip and implore yourselves above us, we listen to all. And we welcome all. No discrimination here despite what you may hear. And despite what they will hum about us, we are quite polite people. We would love to see *you* at the #FeltOpening. Remember, be polite, be courteous, and be someone you're not. Hoo. https://msparp.chat/feltopening ]
"But you didn't mean me, did you?" ... Oh, CERTAINLY not, dear heart.
Happy 8/8.
If luck be a lady then shes one ornery gal because what in the sam hill man. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d6a7414d7da2.jpg
and this this is to hope EVVEN FURTHER BEYOND #gpoe
The installation of my EXECUTIVE FLAGSHIP'S new helmsman! ... It's a touchy subject legislatively but believe me when I say that my candidate is in the process of completing ALL the necessary attestations of sound mind and willing spirit!
Get ready to eat my dust on the morning commute.
Big changes coming! @involuntarilyLulzworthy Your "throne" awaits. :B
hey get off my pincer
>([w#en i see dat butt] #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/38b094f01eac.png]
Dont get me wrong im all for the cinematic jaunts of mister singer and his rowdy boy bunch and id *never* razz the artistic inclinations of those hollywood bigwigs but i do so wish theyd kept mystiques penchant for skulls! I mean its just a helluva pun to have such a leading lady decked to the nines in her fashions of SKULLduggery. Get it??
...oh!
Meeting the fricken replacement i suppose.
Ok! Well its kind of like i was her first bestie so.
I cant stay mad at a goof like that!
Hi. :/
#BFF #:( https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ff7d1cc571de.gif
Youre so wise tavvy aw. :)
Precisely!!
Sometimes when a mountain is put into perspective it just becomes a mole hill! Who wouldda thunk.
<:|
Umm...
I toss my two cents in and suddenly the whole fricken fountain is clogged huh. I was under the impression that that scallywag was just the ol ar-bot in disguise but phooey me for trying to think with my noodle and not my doodle or whatever.
Whats the rub dude i thought we were taking up arms against the big bad!
On principle kind of!
Sorry for the juniorheads in the audience but some things simply must be said.
Not to harsh the vibes of every fella cottoning to the corners of this lil fudge junior nonsense but i dunno if he was so much a real guy with real pizzazz as he was a real piece of WORK.
Oh janey. With your cooking i wouldnt be able to stop myself from boogieing!
Too long!
Oh unreal heiress get this junk joint jumping.
If you think one like isnt a lot just imagine another fella in the room sitting really close to you going gee whilikers that was a good one.
Im learning so many colors in the comments here dude its like blues clues in here.
Successful pancake flip. Yep! I bet youre green over there. Not everyone can do it the way ol jake does.
Everyones wetting their britches about a dude getting tootsweet on the timeline. Tighten your belts boys thats usually how it is for him! #vaguepost #NOTvaguepost #missingmyfishing
I dunno if your brofy meant all that much if some random ol ragamuffin is taking you to the wayside.
:/
Well this is just plum embarassing for me.
You know it my girl up top with the slop.
You know a dude likes to break out the good chow on a hellacious friday! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/feb859506377.jpg
Push it push it!
The mutts in this case!
PARDON!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Everythings coming up english!
Gotta go! Me and the ol bffeferi are playing table pong! Instead of doing shots every time we win we take little sips of ice cream from the flower of a hibiscus. Toodles!
?
Coming where? :)
Reminding me of my new pal @cuttlefishCabbalist ! This dudes eating corn through a picket coral fence to boot too. Heh. Hes like if the two of us mixed and made something funky! https://i.pinimg.com/736x/5b/10/9d/5b109d8067eeb0bb8f9d1cd05d24272a.jpg
I dunno! Its always a little funny seeing a bunch of random dick tom and harrys razz those of the striderian kin. Ought to have the ability to throw tomatoes at the screen.
Its like france and stuff!
I wonder how many honest to goodness fellas assume im of the european steeze strictly by the way i get on about the web. I think im just more mush mouthed than anything. Personally anyway!
Oh jade. You always know just what to say to cheer a fella up. Hey is your icon off kilter or is it just me seeing things a little screwy.
some experiences arent for everyone! i think it is totally okay for you to explore life at your own pace without feeling too weird about not sharing some experiences with your alternates. i know that i dont really want to share some of those experiences mine have had... -_-
Well durr yeah i think being someones skippy ol pappy is the worst it can get.
Frankly i guess im a little green about all these clam happy englishes running tootsweet with their happily claimed ankle biters. I thought for a long time maybe i was incapable of junk like that but maybe it really is just a *me* thing. Like maybe other mes have got their noggins screwed on straight and im stuck in the muck being some kind of silly boy about the little things.
Huh?
Pour one out for our pals of the olden era. Instead of jonesing it up with your best guys on the web about your various whackadoodle interests you were just called ol johnny pervert and shipped to the nut house.
True!
How come the consort kingdom aerospace center hasnt gotten a howdy do back about their big top bottle rocket race featuring a ship in your likeliness? Good heavens to betsy milady these scaly sonuvas and bubble blowing big brains are primed on their adorable little haunches!
Not like that!
This is why i trust my most hearty and ineffable squeeze! My firmest and snuggest gal pal were just two bugs in a rug.
CAN THE RAPSCALLIONS ABOVE ME KEEP THEIR BRITCHES ON.
:(
They only have four fingers janey you must excuse their slapdash craftsmanship. They simply didnt mean to give you a big ol loogie and a fat little bottom.
Me and you tav maybe its a page thing.
Say does anyone start to sweat when theyre alone for no good reason or is it just me.
You cant just have a one man harlem shake...
Happy pride month folks!!
Nobody ever wants to chow down on ol jakes sweet potato and asparagus casserole.
Every time i turn up to some klatch i get this kind of overhanging presence like theres some humbug shooting me the heebie jeebies. At first i thought it was a sponsor hot on my tail and trying to trap my fur for falling off the wagon but ive come to find that its actually probably nothing at all! And im just being kind of hypervigilant for no reason.
It brings a tear to my eye to hear folks take "our boys in blue" as some tip of the hat towards the boys with a badge and *not* an inclusive shoutout to our (very) fine fellas up and down the middle gradient of the (caddish) (NOT good) hemospectrum.
Peeping through the looking glass sure does make me feel wonky. Most of you long in the tooth born and bred alternians are regular gluttons for violence but my good pal (earth c ways) is named bagell britch and all they do is kindly serve up the deli day in and day out. I wonder if earth c trolls are just born a little softer or if youve all secretly got an epic heart of gold hidden beneath your social fritz and bloodthirsty fiddlefaddle...
If you're talking about the Crocker I think you are, I regret to inform you that getting under her wing was the catalyst of this post~.
cake ain't shit. PIE IS BETTER. and if you don't like pie? BROTHER JUST GRAB A HANDFUL OF MEAT AND CUT OUT ALL THAT SUGAR. sugar's mother fucking bad for you turns out.
I REALLY THINK YOU OUGHTA JUMP IN AN ACID BATH HORNS FIRST, MY BROTHER. whoop whoop.
'Attagirl.
⚇ Humans are so fucking weird. ⚇
Flee Alternia for Earth-C. I could abuse you more efficiently and slightly less egregiously than your previous employer and/or commander.
is your boss s☭ill alive? if so, do some☭hing abou☭ i☭
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE PROCESSION OF THIS ADULT TANTRUM YOU COULD HAVE SIMPLY INVITED YOURSELF OVER.
LET'S NOT PUT ON OUR MOTHER FUCKING PRETEND FACES AND ACT LIKE CAKE AIN'T A LOVE LANGUAGE. one minute it's just two forks and watching a movie. NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU WIPING FROSTING OFF A MOTHER FUCKER'S NOSE. after that it's a mother fucking canoodling session talking about i know the killer and sheets on the floor.
Whenever you're ready, sir!
fuck #needthat
Thank you kindly.
You. Me. A couch so decadent and overstuffed, the recesses of its cushions bog you down inescapably. Artax-style. An ice-cold viewing room. Seven blankets. An entire sheet cake. Two forks. And this film.
Still at the office, but her sweet siren song. It beckons to me.
Some gentlemen serve no higher purpose- and derive no greater pleasure- than to receive the flagrant abuse of the ladies to which they swear their allegiance. And I think we should all plumb get OK with that! Frankly, I'm proud of them.
What has happened to the once iron-clad tether that held me to my doggone desk? After yet another midmorning tour of the HQ Legacy Vault, I've become hopelessly addlepated by these old recipe books!!! I planned to release some more official announcements later in the afternoon, but for now... like this post, and I will assign you one of our very own- modern or legacy- BETTY CROCKER trademark recipes. :B #HappyMonday #GoodMood #IceBreaker #OrShallWeSay #IcingBreaker #🧁 IN THE QUEUE: unclaspedKahuna torvousCarnifex comedyGold bummelBoogie cationicAgonist crackedTungsten achillesAnalogue terminallyCapricious gangstasCrossbones cerbericApostle affableCantor gluttinousGymnast
GREAT MOMENTS IN BEFORAN HISTORY. THE DEMONESS OF ANCIENT ALTERNIAN LEGEND. AND THE PRINCE OF HOPE. FALLING THROUGH A GLASS TABLE AT KARAOKE. AFTER SECURING @caligulasAquarium HIS KAWAIIFUL MAGICAL CROP TOP. GOOD TIMES. #NOWPLAYING THE HAND THAT FEEDS.
They Cast Pearls Before O|nkbeast. Such A Treasure, Den|ed To The Prem|ere Duel|st, Yet |ndulged And D|sregarded By The Ungrateful Populace Corpulent And Spo|led For Cho|ce |n Casual V|olence.
[T] Thank you for clarifying.] [A] As my boss does not have chittr account, I feel safe in making the very clear joke that I would deeply enjoy beating his head in with paperweight.] #violence
(^・x・^) < ANYWAYS, I KNOW HIS EYES ARE KIND OF PURRTURBINGLY HOLLOWED AND EMPTY. SORT OF TOTALFLEA SOULESS LOOKING. BUT I'D STILL PUT A GRUB IN HIM IF I COULD.
"= i will not be willingly advertised to. blow up. your nearest. space station billboard slash propaganda piece. ="
8y the way, 8y official decree of Earth C’s government, Megatron and Prime get it on sloppy style