

♦️█ ░ w e l l e n , s a d a k o ▒ ▓♦️
@abraCadaver
missing, b0dy never found, reward expired 𓁹‿𓁹 ceased and deceased voted least likely to succeed at breathing f0rmerly : alive ♦️█ ░ here for a g00d time, not a l0ng time (failed at that 0ne) ▒ ▓♦️

♦️█ ░ ... ପ(ꐦ´ര ᴖ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ i am tired 0f spending...my wh0le afterlife...waiting. ▒ ▓♠️ ♠️█ ░ i will want what i want...with0ut ap0l0gy...0r permissi0ns asked... ▒ ▓♠️ ♠️█ ░ ... ▒ ▓♠️

♠️█ ░ s0rt 0f a f0ll0w up...t0 my earlier p0st...0n bef0ran culture...and s0cietal...stuff...c0ncerning shibari hist0ry... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ bef0ran penal justice...typically rev0lves ar0und minimizing harm...t0 the lives 0f y0urself...and that 0f 0thers...b0th c0nsidered pr0perty 0f the state...it gets called many things...*culling*...*the buddy system*...*buddyeaucracy*...even insulting things...like happily managed...0r cradle-t0-c0sm0s care...sweet street patr0lled stewardship...smile f0r miles invent0ry...but the w0rst 0f it...were the *peace 0fficers*...n0 l0ve l0st there... ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ y0u c0uld be st0pped. at any time. f0r any reas0n. by bef0ran peace 0fficers. suspici0n 0f a s0ur m00d. 0n p0ssessi0n 0f a glum demean0r. 0f apprehensi0n 0f a bad night. it did n0t matter the reas0n. if 0ne was n0t pr0vided. it w0uld be aff0rded t0 y0u...after the fact. y0u c0uld be harassed...stripped 0f y0ur bel0ngings...br0wbeaten...humiliated...and dragged away f0r later...*wellness chats*...trust me when i say this...y0u w0uld n0t...d0 much 0f the chatting...and y0ur wellness...w0uld be the least 0f their c0ncerns...bleugh! ପ(∗´ᗒ ࡇ ᗕ`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ but...fr0m a d0se 0f s0rr0w...c0mes tw0 helpings 0f beauty... ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ the entire m0dern art 0f...shibari...c0mes fr0m martial training...standardized during the 'm0rren era 0f terr0r'...the s0-called...silt-slide avalanche...the rusting ep0ch...the dredge sweeps...crackdd0wns had t0 be standardized...g0ne were the sequestersweeps 0f simply...questi0ning 0thers...t00ls and techniques were widely disseminated...mmmfff...and the were...regrettably...very effective... ▒ ▓❤️

♠️█ ░ tw/cw: extensive discussi0n 0f b0ndage, shibari, restricti0n, detainment by auth0rity figures, dr0ne vi0lence (but make it h0t), gh0stly dysph0ria, b0dy h0rniness, mem0ries 0f pre-death mas0chism, and general 0versharing ab0ut my kinks... ▒ ▓♠️ ♦️█ ░ this is a SAFE SPACE...f0r me...t0 discuss the er0tic nature 0f being tied up by bef0ran peace 0fficers...if y0u are unc0mf0rtable with explicit discussi0ns 0f r0pe w0rk...0r if y0u d0n't want t0 kn0w ab0ut h0w the c0lumn tie made me feel...please pr0ceed with cauti0n 0r n0t at all... ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ i am 0nly sharing this because swattpad r0lled 0ut a new c0ntent p0licy ex0rcising my likes...and i had t0 find a new hive f0r my m0re...adult...reflecti0ns...this is that hive...this is where i can finally be H0NEST ab0ut h0w much i miss being c0ntained...hhhhahheh...s...s0 d0nt like...d0nt read...0k? ▒ ▓♠️ ♠️█ ░ shibari 0n bef0rus...is 0ne 0f the few arts...i f0und myself frequently wrapped up in...hanging ar0und...and in a tightly knit gr0up pursuing m0re...t0 this dusk...it is s0mething that makes my gh0stly essence...shiver thr0ugh0ut...with mem0ries 0f living flesh and tight c0nstricti0n...suppressing my every m0ve... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ 0n bef0rus...the aesthetic 0f b0ndage wasn't merely s0me niche indulgence...it was entirely C0MM0NPLACE...intertwined with 0ur very...s0cial fabric...like r0pes ar0und a wriggling wrist...the dr0nes...0h..the s0 called...peace 0fficers...0f 0ur fair planet...they had such...intimately intricate techniques...f0r...detainment... ▒ ▓♠️ ♦️█ ░ i remember...thr0ugh the peered thr0ugh f0gs 0f misty death...th0se times when my living self ran af0ul 0f auth0rities...n0t f0r anything T00 hein0usly unpard0nable, mind y0u...just...creative...expressi0ns...0f...the b0dy...that the judgey c0llective fr0wned up0n...but the WAY they w0uld restrain me...unffff...suspensi0n h0lds that lifted me 0ff my feet entirely and r0bbed me 0f the gr0und bel0w...r0pes c0iling ar0und my limbs in patterns s0 intricate they c0uld 0nly be called an art t0 rival my 0wn... ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ the dr0nes were TRAINED in this, y0u kn0w...it wasn't 0pp0rtunistic brutality...it was CEREM0NY...r0utine regime...each kn0t 0f the r0pe placed with precisi0n...the way my gakuseifuku w0uld ride up as they h0isted me...the c0nfined sensati0n 0f being C0MPLETELY at the mercy 0f an0ther...far preferable t0 the mancatcher 0r net...i may have pr0v0ked them 0ccasi0nally...just t0 feel that raunchy restricti0n again...the living me was SUCH an ill-mannered fiend...▒ ▓♠️ ♦️█ ░ 0n bef0rus, shibari was...rec0gnized...celebrated even...the c0mplex kn0ts s0metimes even caste specific...when y0u were b0und...y0u were n0ticed...rec0gnized...treated as the threat y0u were...cr0ss-lattice stitched 0ut 0f sight...sm0thered...suppressed...c0ntained...pr0tected fr0m even y0ur 0wn w0rst impulses...and i had MANY 0f th0se...still d0. at times. if 0nly 0ne c0uld c0ntain a gh0st...but with0ut a b0dy...and a g00d 0ne...0r r0pes small en0ugh t0 snatch up d0lls...i can 0nly watch...and remember h0w it felt t0 be s0 beautifully trapped... ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️█ ░ s0metimes i wander the b0rders 0f the dream bubbles, l00king f0r s0ul wh0 remember the 0ld ways...wh0 can tie a pr0per c0lumn...wh0 understands that t0 be h0lded is t0 be FREED fr0m cumbers0me ch0ice...and i dream 0f the day i wear a living b0dy pretty en0ugh...s0me0ne else's...perhaps...s0me0ne wh0se nerves are just as fried as my 0wn...wh0se pan lingers 0n the th0ught 0f entrapment...s0me0ne wh0...wh0...hhhhhg...unffff...i need t0 g0 lie d0wn...h0riz0ntally...in my burial pl0t...f0r a while...▒ ▓♠️

♠️█ ░ pers0nal ramblings...d0nt like d0nt read...piping h0t...my cup 0f tea take...please...kindly...d0 n0t c0me after my afterlife... ▒ ▓♠️ ♦️█ ░ #NSFW #PERISHED-FLUTTERBEAST #DEAD-AUTH0R-D0NT-JUDGE ପ(∗´ര////ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♠️♠️♠️█ ░ i...cann0t...STAND ingrates wh0 badm0uth the classics. wh0 CARES if it makes sense if a mystical f0rce prevents a r00m full 0f enemies fr0m leaving until they fill the entire bucket with all their material???? wh0 cares if it is c0nv0luted and strange??? it is H0T!!!! picture h0w their sweaty b0dies w0uld rec0il 0n instinct!!! having t0 d0uble d0wn when theyre n0t even a quarter 0f the way there!!!! ପ(∗´ര ꁞ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♠️♠️ ♠️♠️♠️█ ░ i want HANDS!!! 0n B0DIES!!! MENTAL DURESS!!!! PALE PITY SEX!!!!! breakd0wns death threats lingering anim0sity...blackr0m blackr0m blackr0mblackr0mblackr0m BLACKR0M!!!!!! G0 F0R A PUNCH!!!! THE LEGEND 0F SAHKII SANSHI!!!!! PASTA S0 CREEPY THE FEELING IS INDIGESTI0N INSPIRING!!!!! SWAP H0T SALIVA IN THE M0UTH HUFFY BREATH AND TEAR STREAMS!!!! CCCCCCUM. IN. HATEMAKING. PLEASE!!!?!!?!? TRIPLE X XXXTREME C0NFINEMENT!!! CLAWING AT THE WALLS THEN FUCKING AGAINST THEM!!!!! AM I G0ING CRAZY 0R AM I JUST THE 0NLY 0NE STILL SANE AFTER DYING?!?! ପ(∗´ര ꁞ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♠️♠️

♦️█ ░ just...remember...when y0u are mean t0 me...this is wh0 y0u are being mean t0...s0metimes...actually...quite 0ften really... ପ(∗´ര///ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ extremely literally... ପ(∗´◞///◟`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♦️♦️♦️█ ░ huuuuge starst0rm t0night...green s0lar flares...and c0smic c0nfluences...real g0rge0us space stuff? alm0st missed it c0mpletely...luckily...e0n was up f0r it t00...hhhh. i ad0re-rail my m0irail. we b0th are calmed by the same stuff. ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️❤️❤️ ♦️♦️♦️█ ░ th0ugh i admit. him being there made it kinda hard t0 care ab0ut the h0t gase0us celestial b0dies in the sky. y0u kn0w. sitting acr0ss fr0m him and all. ha. ha. haaa...hes s0 full 0f h0t air. i alm0st c0uldnt hear the s0lar air 0n fire. 0ver his ad0rable rambling...what a d0rk...l0ve y0u e0nimaginably much...e0n... ▒ ▓❤️❤️❤️

♦️█ ░ "b0yfriend"..."girlfriend"..."00mfie"..."significant 0ther"..."better half"..."sp0use"...humans have...such w0nderful w0rds...f0r quadmates... but...t0 be c0mpletely h0nest....? ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ my fav0rite is still..."my d0ll"..."d0llie"..."sad0llk0"...hhheheh. ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ watashi wa..."me"...desu...!!! ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ please d0 n0t think less 0f me... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ but...as s0me0ne wh0 spends...many h0urs...in the b0dies 0f d0lls since my tragic passing...c0untless sweeps ag0...i deeply admire the craft and w0rk 0f 0ther d0lls...and ItimatuSuzuka is 0ne wh0se beauty i c0vet... ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️♦️♦️█ ░ i h0pe...0ne night...t0 0pen my eyes...t0 the shuffling stirring s0unds...0f a v0ice this g0rge0us...hair that silky and sm00th...an 0utfit that g0rge0us...p0ise...glam0ur...a...and grace that peerless...0ne night... ▒ ▓❤️❤️❤️ ♦️█ ░ https://y0utu.be/-CfWdvVJ0yw ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ i can be...what i wish...m0st... a beautiful girl. ▒ ▓❤️

♠️♦️♠️█ ░ i just think a really big br00ding guy 0r gutsy charming gal with a distant and withdrawn series 0f em0ti0ns sh0uld…passi0nately…sl0wly…intensely…s0lve my murder. and mean it t00. ପ(∗´ര////ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️

♠️♦️♠️█ ░ ive had w0rse nights...this 0ne...n0t s0 bad. ପ(∗´ര////ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️

♠️♦️♠️█ ░ h0w am i supp0sed t0 fear and revile this...? ପ(∗´ര ˰ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️ ♦️♠️♦️♠️█ ░ s0me0ne s0...mesmerizing...bewitching...vast...and...gentle...that is n0t what a m0nster l00ks like. that is n0t what a harmful and hateful thing is. that is n0t a thing at all. that is. that is. a w0ndr0us s0ul. a beautiful great spirit. that is. my friend e0n. my. my m0irail! and. and he is n0t g0ing t0 stay put. nuh uh. ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️♦️ ♠️♦️♠️█ ░ n0t if...i have anything t0 say ab0ut it... ପ(∗´ര////ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️

♦️█ ░ ...w0uld i be a bad pers0n...if i released...an ancient evil...wh0 used t0 be...and i still c0nsider t0 be...a very g00d friend...s0 we c0uld hang 0ut...? i kn0w it s0unds bad...but c0nsider...he is really nice...and its 0K n0w... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♠️♦️♠️█ ░ ... ପ(∗´ര ˰ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️ ♠️♦️♠️█ ░ s0metimes. in a b0dy i havent warmed up t0 yet. ill feel urges. unremembered secrets. they never perish with the pers0n. leaving this life. int0 the next. regrets and misspent grudges. are always the first things left behind... ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️ ♠️♦️♠️█ ░ must be freeing. ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️ ♠️♦️♠️█ ░ like taking flight. ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️ ♠️♦️♠️█ ░ i w0nder. is it as simple as letting g0 while alive? can f0rgiveness truly be survived...? what...w0ndr0us things c0uld be d0ne with a life like that? ▒ ▓♠️♦️♠️

♦️♠️♦️█ ░ i will...never...understand...the fascinati0n...with "0uting" pe0ple...wh0 call themselves s0mething different...than what they used t0 be called...what if i hated my name? what if seeing it used made me feel like i was dying 0ver and 0ver and 0ver in a hundred b0dies that didnt feel like mine anym0re than the 0ne i had...? what if calling myself s0mething else is the 0nly way i get t0 feel...me? ପ(∗´ര ˰ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♦️♠️♦️

♦️█ ░ big perks...0f a perky lipped...prince 0f space... /p0s ཀପ(∗´≖ ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ n0 sacrifice is meaningless... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ n0r is any pers0n f0r having made 0ne... ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ s0 l0ng as s0me0ne remains...because 0f what is f0rfeited... ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ there is a reas0n...it was all w0rth it... ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ im really s0rry if my tendency t0 fr0lic ar0und in d0ll b0dies misled any0ne...my...0riginal b0dy...is alm0st seven feet tall...i am N0T demure...and i am N0T petite...i had a l0t 0f w0rk d0ne after i died...but n0ne 0f it is really...teensie? maybe thats why i like em s0 much... ପ(∗´ര )~ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ as disapp0inting as that pr0bably is t0 hear...that im a gin0rm0us freak 0f nature...s0me pe0ple d0nt seem t0 mind t00 much...! hehe...<> ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ a pulse that w0n't sl0w ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ straps h0ld me tight t0 the bed ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ watch and want in wait ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ needles break 0n me ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ leather cuffs d0nt c0ntain me ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ a danger0us girl ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ i snarl at each d0se ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ an unclaimed and wild pusher ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ a pulse that w0n't sl0w ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ l0ving me's a risk ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ l0cked f0r want0n want 0f all ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ l0ve me like a fight ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ 0ne already l0st ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ my mad mind misplaced t00 late ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ e0ns past ag0 ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️

♦️█ ░ i need t0 resume haunting y0ur p0sts...hehe... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️






















