♥ liked by @turntechsGodhead
daves are the ants of chittr actually #notderogatory no matter how many you think you see there are always more and theres also way more variety to them than you ever thought possible #insectpostingig
((1MPORTANT POST TAGS: #v1olence #blood #gore #substances #drugs #drug-reference #med1cal-sedat1on #med1cal-proceedure #body-horror #death #k1ll1ng * = sect1on of the wr1t1ng for the embedded youtube v1deo to prov1de scene v1be reference. art by @creat1cGoet1c1st)) >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/STREAM1NG_FOOTAGE/play/act1ve_transcrawl1ng/store_as/SCB_SCARAB_70.mov >access/STREAM1NG_FOOTAGE/S/act1ve/play/v1deo_transcrawl1ng [The warn1ngs “BLOODBAG” and “W1LL B1TE” on a hast1ly posted s1gnage outs1de of the metal bars were as clear as day. Beyond the cell bars, the METAL MUZZLED BLOODBAG hung ups1de down, suspended from the ce1l1ng by a length of th1ck cha1ns looped through a pulley system w1th a w1nd1ng lever on the r1ght wall. An 1V l1ne ran d1rectly from a po1nt a few cent1meters below her bare clav1cle, just above her sports bra 1nto the open1ngs of shoddy, reused gas cans. The cha1ns j1ngled as Hayaah occas1onally struggled aga1nst the b1nds that held her legs together and arms beh1nd her back. Her ha1r dangled past her head 1n a messy bra1d that nearly touched the floor. Even though 1t was a short t1me, she was def1n1tely worse for wear, sk1n not1ceably pale w1th sunken eyes and match1ng dark c1rcles under them. The area around the cont1nuous 1V l1ne was bru1sed a deep, tarn1shed gold w1th two small streams of blood leak1ng out from the puncture wound. Hayaah was t1red, much more so than she had been 1n a long t1me. Desp1te the hot-as-hell desert planet, her cell was cold and wet, mean1ng she was e1ther 1n a cave system or underground. Hayaah eyed her removed jacket and sh1rt that sat 1n a p1le 1n an unreachable corner as she felt a sudden draft send a ch1ll down her mostly exposed sp1ne. Somewhere down the l1kely hallway, a door opened, chang1ng the space’s a1r pressure system, 1nd1cat1ng that Hayaah was about to have another v1s1tor. A short, scrappy 1mp sauntered down the hallway, keys jangl1ng at 1ts h1ps as 1t carr1ed an empty gas can 1n hand. Sett1ng the cans down, the 1mp unlocked the cell door, lett1ng 1tself 1n w1thout a care 1n the world. 1t sw1tched out the now blood-f1lled gas can w1th the empty one, 1gnor1ng the daggers Hayaah glared 1nto 1ts head wh1le wh1stl1ng a l1ttle tune to 1tself. 1t was about to turn around and leave before not1c1ng that the 1V l1ne had started leak1ng. Hes1tantly, 1t looked back to the open door, th1nk1ng about not1fy1ng a h1gher-up, but shrugged to 1tself, com1ng to the conclus1on that 1t was better off just chang1ng the 1V cannula by 1tself. The 1mp started towards the cha1n w1nd1ng lever before snapp1ng 1ts f1ngers and produc1ng a syr1nge w1th clear l1qu1d content. Hayaah’s yellow and blue mono-colored eyes w1dened as she attempted to sh1ft 1n her restra1nts before the needle p1erced the sk1n at her neck and 1ts contents empt1ed. Hayaah let out a small cry, and a moment later she became notably lax, the tenseness eas1ng out of her muscles as her eyes became half-l1dded and breath1ng slowed. The 1mp returned to 1ts prev1ous path plan, reach1ng the lever and started to turn 1t. When Hayaah was f1n1shed be1ng slowly lowered to the ground, the 1mp locked the lever and returned to the capt1ve troll. Choos1ng between the keys, the 1mp found the correct one that unlocked the troll’s hand and arm restra1nts that connected to the ma1n cha1n l1ne. Lay1ng her flat on her back, the 1mp f1shed out of 1ts pockets another fresh 1V cannula and l1ne, keep1ng an eye on the sedated capt1ve w1th half a care on 1ts m1nd. After prepar1ng the new 1V, the 1mp removed the old, result1ng 1n a pa1ned moan and clutched f1sts but l1ttle movement otherw1se. That was, unt1l the moment the 1mp attempted to 1nsert the new 1V. Hayaah’s eyes snapped open and the closest free hand grabbed the 1mp’s wr1st of the hand hold1ng the cannula. The 1mp yelped 1n surpr1se, but was unable to do much else, as Hayaah’s movements were too qu1ck for 1t. Tw1st1ng the 1mp’s arm, she forced out the 1V out of the captor’s hand and subsequently sp1nn1ng 1t around to face away from her. Us1ng her ps1on1cs, Hayaah unlocked the lever and spun the w1nder, caus1ng the cha1ns to cl1nk rap1dly and fall 1nto a mound on the ground. Us1ng ps1on1cs aga1n, she brought the cha1ns to her free hand and wrapped 1t around the 1mps neck, yank1ng both ends 1n oppos1te d1rect1ons. The 1mp had no t1me to cause alarm as 1ts neck was crushed and 1ts body d1ss1pat1ng 1nto a small p1le of gr1st and a clamor1ng keyr1ng. Hayaah sat up for a moment, heav1ly breath1ng before allow1ng herself to ease forward to snatch the keyr1ng, try1ng key after key unt1l she freed herself from the metal b1nds. Attempt1ng to stand, the blood rushed from her head back 1nto normal flow, caus1ng her to momentar1ly stagger. She put a hand on her chest over the blood-dra1n1ng wound, 1t tak1ng 20 seconds to completely heal closed. Too slow for comfort. Hayaah cl1cked her tongue 1n frustrat1on as she went to the corner of the cell to retr1eve her sh1rt and jacket and redressed herself. Hayaah momentar1ly paced 1n the cell, attempt1ng to undo the glar1ngly obtrus1ve metal muzzle’s hold on her to no ava1l. Dropp1ng the keyr1ng, Hayaah d1dn’t bother to l1nger 1n the cell any longer. Creep1ng to the open cell door, she looked left and r1ght to case the 1mmed1ate surround1ngs. Empty. Noth1ng. No one. Just a d1mly l1t hallway that curved away from the cell block. These 1mps really were *that* stup1d after all. W1th that, the ex-capt1ve troll took off 1n a spr1nt through the stone-carved halls. Confused 1mps of d1fferent shapes, s1zes, and ranks stared dumbfounded as she breezed past them. Some 1mps gathered the1r w1ts and followed Hayaah, yell1ng and brand1sh1ng 1mpromptu weapons beh1nd her. From the perspect1ve of the not yet not1ced SCARAB drone, the rema1n1ng uploaded footage looked l1ke a scene r1ght out of a h1gh-octane Altern1an act1on mov1e*. Hayaah used anyth1ng w1th1n arm’s reach, rang1ng from handfuls of nuts and bolts, g1ant fuck-off automot1ve wrenches, and even other smaller 1mps. She shrugged off stab wounds and punctures, us1ng the embedded makesh1ft and very real weapons to plow through 1mps 1n her wake. Although her charg1ng seemed 1n1t1ally d1rect1onless, 1t becomes obv1ous to keen-eyed v1ewers that she was mak1ng a mental map of the 1mp-1nfested structure. 1t took a broken, rusted p1ke skewer1ng Hayaah through the back and out through the stomach to recogn1ze she needed to call 1t qu1ts. Tak1ng rap1d breaths, she pulled the weapon through and out ent1rely w1th a yell. Sober1ngly, 1t took notably longer than normal for the hole to heal. She had to get out of there. P1vot1ng, Hayaah headed 1n the d1rect1on of revv1ng 1mpact dr1lls and crackl1ng sparks of 1n-process weld1ng. The space she ran 1nto w1dened drast1cally w1th h1gh ce1l1ngs lead1ng to a tunnel lead1ng outs1de. She was surrounded w1th more dangl1ng cha1ns and d1fferent veh1cles at d1fferent states of repa1r or decay. Desp1te spott1ng the broken s1lhouette of her scuttlebuggy from across the space, Hayaah pa1nfully left 1t beh1nd, a1m1ng for a just-parked su1cycle close to the ex1t tunnel. The mad dash was dramat1c and successful, but barely. The su1cycle’s eng1ne revved and echoed as 1t sped through and out of the tunnel. Hayaah was met w1th the fam1l1ar mounta1nous desert landscape, h1tt1ng the wall of 1ts unrelent1ng dust and heat. For a spl1t second, she gr1maced at the env1ronmental change, almost m1ss1ng the hold1ng cell. Almost. Hayaah sped off 1n no part1cular d1rect1on, just anywhere away from wherever she had been. After a few m1nutes of dr1v1ng away as fast as the lanc1ng back, she saw the shr1nk1ng mass of a steep, vert1cal, mounta1nous structure l1ttered w1th cave ex1ts at d1fferent places and elevat1ons. At the very top and droop1ng down the sheer edges was uncharacter1st1c greenery. 1t cl1cked for her then why the 1mps attempted to dra1n her empty of L1FE BLOOD, but 1t wasn’t the t1me to dwell on 1t. She turned to focus on speed1ng ahead to the closest canyon range to lose any attempt1ng chase. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here.] >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/pend1ng… >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/lost >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on_boomerang >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/FL1GHT_DURAT1ON/02:10:35:06 >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/pend1ng… >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/pend1ng… >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/pend1ng… >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/pend1ng… >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/HADEED/locat1on/unknown >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/battery_deplet1on_warn1ng >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/battery_deplet1on/10% >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/SCB_SCARAB/locat1on_boomerang/home >access/SCB_SCARAB/act1vate/act1ons/return1ng_home >access/CH1TTR/account/cat1on1cAgon1st/SCB_SCARAB_70.mov/upload >access/CH1TTR/account/cat1on1cAgon1st/f1le_upload/1n_progress >access/CH1TTR/account/cat1on1cAgon1st/f1le_upload/completed >access/CH1TTR/account/cat1on1cAgon1st/access/term1nate >access/CH1TTR/account/cat1on1cAgon1st/access/term1nated
THE. FUCKING. ODYSSEY. LONGTIME READERS AND FIRST-TIME OBSERVERS, I BRING YOU THE #MOVIEKAT REVIEW TO MARK THE FUCKING AGES. I STARTED THIS REVIEW UNDER THE PRETENSE THAT I WOULD BE GOING ON THIS JOURNEY ON MY OWN. BUT HUBRIS HAS A REAL FUNNY WAY OF KICKING YOU IN THE SHINS (SPOILERS). I TOLD @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST ABOUT THE FACT THAT I’D JUST SAT THERE IN A DARK THEATRE AND GNAWED BASICALLY THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF MY KERNELSPLOSION BUCKET FOR THREE HOURS, AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HE DID? HE SAID TO ME, “KARKAT. WE HAVE TO DO THIS TOGETHER. WE HAVE TO DELIVER ODYSSEY TO THE PEOPLE.” SO. HERE WE ARE. A CO-WRITTEN REVIEW (WHICH IS MOSTLY ME AND NO, VANTAS, YOU CAN’T REMOVE THIS PART, FUCK YOU) BY THE ONLY TWO TROLLS IN PARADOX SPACE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO REIN NOT ONE, BUT *TWO* OF US IN? THIS REVIEW IS THE *EPITOME* OF TWO DUMB BITCHES SAYING “EXACTLYYYYYYYYY”. THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INCREDIBLY LONG ANALYSIS FOR YOU PEA-BRAINED IMPS WITH NEXT-TO-ZERO READING COMPREHENSION AND CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS, BUT MAYBE YOU CAN TREAT THIS AS A SPONGE EXERCISE. AND FOR THE REST OF YOU WHO ARE EAGER TO MUNCH YOUR WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF *THIS* KERNELSPLOSION BUCKET AND GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH OF THE THE BUTTERY, SOGGY MORSELS: SIT BACK. RELAX. MAYBE TAKE A MIGRAINE PILL PREEMPTIVELY. AND LET’S FUCKING GO. —- REVIEW BEGIN —- ZEUS’S LAW. THE CORNERSTONE OF ANCIENT HUMAN GREEK RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY. THOUGH NOT A WRITTEN STATUTE, IT DEFINES THE SACRED OBLIGATIONS THAT COMPRISE A DIVINE MORAL ORDER, GOVERNING COMMUNITY, OATHS, KINGSHIP, JUSTICE, AND THE RESPECT OF THE STRANGER. POETRY AND FICTIVE WORKS BACK IN YE OLDE HUMAN DAYS DEPICT ZEUS AS THE OMNIPOTENT FORCE TOWARD PROTECTION OF THE VULNERABLE. AND IT COMES WITH A BIG RED FLASHING WARNING LABEL: ANYONE CAN BE A GOD, SO YOU BETTER FUCKING TREAT EVERYONE AS IF THEY WERE. THIS UNCERTAIN PROBABILITY SHAPED AN ENTIRE SOCIETY FOR AN EON TO COME, BASED ON THE CHOICE TO BELIEVE. RELATIONSHIPS FORGED FROM RITUALISED FRIENDSHIP WENT ON TO SHAPE ARISTOCRACY AND GOVERNMENT, INHERITED GUEST-FRIENDS THROUGHOUT GENERATIONS, AND BUILT THE FOUNDATIONS OF AN EVER-GROWING POLITICAL — AND FAMILIAL— NETWORK. BOOM. HISTORY LESSON. YEAH, WE’RE BOTH ADVANCED HUMAN HISTORY BUFFS. YOU KIND OF HAVE TO BE INTO THAT SORT OF THING TO KNOW YOUR MOVIES AS WELL AS WE DO, YOU FEEL ME? BUT, CLASSIC MOVE FROM US, HERE– AND I MEAN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE — WE SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ALL OF THAT AS TIME GOES ON. INCREASINGLY, WE LIVE IN A WORLD THAT HAS TURNED ITSELF ASS-BACKWARDS. WE TREAT EACH OTHER AND OURSELVES WITH AN INDIFFERENCE UNRIVALLED TO ANYTHING SOCIETY HAS SEEN BEFORE. EVEN THE DAMN WORDS THAT SHAPE OUR STORYTELLING AND SOCIETY HAVE GONE INWARD TOO, FORGETTING THE TANGIBLE AND BECOMING INCREASINGLY ABSTRACT AND CLINICAL. LOGIC, TREATMENT, REGULATION, FAVOURED OVER STORY, COMPANIONSHIP, COURAGE. THE CONNOTATIONS CAN’T BE CLEARER. WE’RE LOSING EACH OTHER AND OURSELVES TO THE CHARYBDIS, SPINNING AND SPINNING TOWARD A WILD, THRASHING END. TRANSLATOR NOTE: THIS MEANS THAT WE ARE FUCKED. ALMOST, WITH A COUPLE OF HUGE FLASHING *ASTERISKS*. WHAT HAPPENS TO US IF WE DON’T SURVIVE CIRCLING THE DRAIN? SOMETHING HAS TO PULL US OUT OF IT, LEST WE FORGET THE WEB HUMANITY BUILT IS THERE TO SERVE A PURPOSE. WE ARGUE THAT THIS MODERN INTERPRETATION OF THE ODYSSEY SERVES AS A REACHING, LONG-LOST PART OF OURSELVES, CRYING OUT: SAVE YOURSELF. SAVE YOUR BROODMATE. SAVE US ALL. HERE’S HOW. BUT LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS ABOUT THE FILM ITSELF, FIRST. HUMAN CHRISTOPHER NOLAN HAD SOMETHING HUGE TO CONQUER, MUCH LIKE ODYSSEUS HIMSELF. TRANSLATING AN ANCIENT TEXT, REGARDLESS OF ITS PUNY SIMPLETON HUMAN ORIGIN, IS A MASSIVE UNDERTAKING. IT REQUIRES A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF AWARENESS THAT OFTENTIMES IS LACKING IN LARGE-SCALE PRODUCTIONS, WHETHER THAT’S DUE TO THE CLEANSING OF NARRATIVE IN THE INTEREST OF PLACATING A WIDE AS POSSIBLE AUDIENCE, OR BEING SIMPLY TOO COWARDLY TO GET TO THE POINT. NORMALLY, I WOULD SAY, “YOU CAN ALL ACT LIKE BRAINDEAD ASSWIPES IN YOUR OWN FESTERING FLAP OF PARADOX SPACE, FINE WITH ME”, BUT NOT IN THIS INSTANCE. NUH UH. NOT ONLY THIS, BUT DUE TO THE SHEER VOLUME OF THE TEXT ITSELF (WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING THE TALE OF THE ILIAD), THERE ARE WHAT SEEM LIKE ENDLESS POINTS OF INTEREST AND A PLETHORA OF LESSONS TO BE LEARNED. THEY LURK AROUND SHADOWY CORNERS, BARREL TOWARD US IN LUMBERING FOOTSTEPS, SING TO US WITH A SIREN’S SONG. SO MANY OPTIONS IN A NARRATIVE THAT SPEAKS AD NAUSEAM, THAT NOLAN WAS SURELY SPOILED FOR CHOICE LIKE A GRUB IN A GODDAMN CANDY STORE SETTING THEIR GANDERBULBS ON A FRESH CUP OF ANT POPPING BOBA. AND ANYHOW— WHAT IS THE RELEVANCE OF A TEXT LIKE THE ODYSSEY? WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT? THE ODYSSEY’S POWER LIES IN THE TRUTH OF IT BEING “THE OLDEST STORY”. IT CONTAINS THE ABILITY TO TRANSMUTE ITSELF TO FIT THE CURRENT SOCIAL NARRATIVE AND BE APPLICABLE TO OUR LIVES THROUGHOUT THE AGES. THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF A TEXT LIKE THIS; OVER THE COURSE OF 3,000 EARTH YEARS, IT STILL TRANSFORMS ITS OWN MEANING OVER TIME. IT IS NO SURPRISE OR SECRET THAT NOLAN DOES NOT STAY COMPLETELY FAITHFUL TO THE SOURCE TEXT. HOWEVER, I RAISE THE QUESTION, IF THE ODYSSEY WAS A MASSIVE PHILOSOPHICAL ALLEGORY FOR HIS TIME, WHY CAN’T WE USE IT AS ONE FOR NOW? THIS IS WHERE NOLAN TAKES THE REINS. HEAVY ARE THE GYVES OF A MONUMENTAL AND OVERWHELMING LITERARY MASTERPIECE, SHACKLING ONESELF IN ORDER TO CONVEY MEANING TO AN AUDIENCE THAT, FRANKLY, ARE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET. NOLAN DOES A FANTASTIC JOB, HOWEVER, OF RELAYING NARRATIVE INFORMATION THAT TRULY RESONATES, LEAVING ITS SOLID CORE. YOU CAN’T HELP BUT THINK ABOUT IT, EVEN LONG AFTER THE THREE HOUR LONG FILM ENDS. I KNOW I DID, AND SO DID VANTAS. WE COULDN’T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT. SO. THIS BRINGS US TO THE SEVERAL THEMES OF THIS FILM, AND WHY WE THINK IT’S IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM. ODYSSEUS IS NOT NECESSARILY THIS BIG HERO WE’RE ALL COUNTING ON HIM TO BE. WE UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT OF ODYSSEUS’ STORY AS A DESPERATE WARNING IF WE JUST TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REALLY LOOK AT IT. IF YOU VIEW ODYSSEUS AS THE PROTAGONIST, AT FACE VALUE, IT’S ABOUT BEING A LEADER. HE IS INDEED THE BRAVE WARRIOR WHO DEFEATED AN ARMY IN THE BATTLE OF TROY, THEN MADE THE PERILOUS JOURNEY BACK HOME TO HIS WIFE AND SON. ISN’T THAT ADMIRABLE? BUT YOU WOULD BE A FLAMING IDIOT IF YOU STOPPED YOUR THOUGHT TRAIN AT THIS STATION. THE FIRST SCENE WE WITNESS IS SINON TAKING HIS DYING BREATH, PINNED AGAINST THE TROJAN HORSE. A SACRIFICE, AND ONE THAT WE LATER FIND OUT IS BUILT ON A FARCE; SINON IS LED TO BELIEVE THAT HE ISN’T A SACRIFICE AT ALL, THAT THE IMPOSING STATUE IS HOLLOW. HE DIES WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THAT HE IS NOTHING BUT A PAWN FOR ONE MAN’S CHOICE. IT IS THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL OF ZEUS’S LAW, AND THUS THE BETRAYAL OF COMPASSION AND EMPATHY. ODYSSEUS BETRAYS THIS LAW TIME AND TIME AGAIN, HIS PRIDE SWELLING FAR TOO WIDE IN HIS CHEST TO MAKE ROOM FOR HIS PUSHER. HE REFUSES TO LISTEN TO HIS SLOWLY DWINDLING ARMY AS THEY CROSS TREACHEROUS SEAS AND ENCOUNTER DANGERS AT EVERY STOP. HE FIRES AN ARROW AT POLYPHEMUS JUST BECAUSE HE DESIRES TO SHOW HIS SUCCESS IN OVERCOMING HIM, FORCES HIMSELF TO LISTEN TO THE SIREN’S SONG JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE THE ONLY ONE TO HAVE HEARD IT AND SURVIVED. HE TURNS AWAY FROM HADES AND THE FACES OF HELL HE RECOGNISES WITH A REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE INEVITABILITY OF A FATE HE DOESN’T WANT. OH-DICK-SEUS. THAT’S WHAT HE IS. HA. HA HA, EVEN. LIKEWISE, THE ATROCITIES COMMITTED THEREOF ARE ALSO DEMONSTRATED IN THE SUITORS OF PENELOPE; THEY CONSUME AND TERRORISE THE PALACE, SLAUGHTER HIS LIVESTOCK, DRINK HIS WINE, INTIMIDATE TELEMACHUS, PRESSURE PENELOPE AND CONTEMPLATE MURDER. THEIR CRIME IS NOT SIMPLE DISCOURTESY. THEY CONVERT HOSPITALITY INTO PARASITISM. IT IS THIS BASTARDISATION OF TRUST, THE VIOLATION OF INSTITUTIONAL ALLIANCE, THAT BREAKS THIS ANCIENT SOCIETY— AND US, THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE— APART. THE CATASTROPHE RESULTING IS CUMULATIVE RATHER THAN INSTANTANEOUS. THE SUITORS ARE REPEATEDLY WARNED BY BOTH PENELOPE AND TELEMACHUS. THERE ARE COUNTLESS OPPORTUNITIES TO TURN BACK, TO REPENT, TO CONCEDE, TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE GODS HAVE PROPHESIED. THERE ARE MOMENTS, EVEN, OF PROSPERITY AMONGST WARRIORS; BUT UNRESOLVED VIOLATION ACCUMULATES UNTIL REVERSAL BECOMES UNAVOIDABLE. IN FACT, ATHENA CAN’T MAKE THINGS ANY CLEARER TO ODYSSEUS WHEN SHE SAYS, “WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THUNDER? FIRE? A CHILD’S SMILE? A GOOD HARVEST?” IT DEMONSTRATES THAT GUIDANCE ONLY COMES FROM THE WILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND BY TRUE PERCEPTION, SOMETHING THAT ODYSSEUS IS REFUSING TO LOOK IN THE EYE. LEAVING ODYSSEUS AS THE LAST OF THE LAST ABOARD A SINKING SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF ZEUS’S MIGHTY STORM IS ONLY THE TERMINAL EVENT. THE DEEPER PUNISHMENT IS HIS OWN REFUSAL TO ADMIT WHEN ENOUGH IS FUCKING ENOUGH. HUBRIS. ONE MAN’S CHOICE. THIS IS WHAT PULLS APART THE INTRICATE WEB THE ODYSSEY WEAVES. AND THE CONSEQUENCES ENDURE: CIVILISATION IS TESTED BY THE TREATMENT OF A STRANGER. ZEUS’S LAW REMAINS RELEVANT IF WE OBSERVE ITS APPLICATIONS IN TODAY’S SOCIOPOLITICAL UNREST. THE POLITICS OF REPRESENTATION IN A TIME LIKE THE ONE WE OCCUPY DO NOT GO UNNOTICED. NOLAN’S DECISIONS ON CASTING, THEMATIC LANGUAGE, VISUALISATION, AND STORYTELLING POSITION HIM IN A VERY DELIBERATE AND SPECIFIC PLACE AMONGST THE STORM OF MODERN CULTURE. WE’VE SEEN SO MANY PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GODDAMN BULLSHIT THAT IS “WOKEISM” IN CINEMA, AND THAT NOLAN IS ONLY PULLING THESE SORTS OF MOVES TO TICK HIS BOXES. THIS IS A FATAL MISSTEP, HOWEVER; AN OVERSIGHT TO AN INTENTIONAL PROVOCATION. AND REALLY– HOW OFTEN DOES THIS HAPPEN IN OUR LIVES TODAY TO THOSE OF US THAT ARE SCAPEGOATED FOR THEIR MERE EXISTENCE? FOR THEIR CHOICES, REGARDLESS OF THEIR MORAL STANDING? FOR EXAMPLE, SINON THOUGHT HE WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING. NO ONE ELSE DID. AND ODYSSEUS LET THEM BELIEVE THAT. PERHAPS HE EVEN BELIEVED IT HIMSELF. THE HOLINESS OF OUR BRETHREN, KNOWN OR UNKNOWN, HAS BEEN LOST TO MYTH. IT SEEMS WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THE STRANGER IS SACRED. WHAT THIS FILM ACHIEVES IS A PULL TOWARD THIS ORIGINAL DOCTRINE, BUT ALSO A LAMENTATION ON WHAT WE HAVE ALREADY LOST. ZEUS'S LAW ISN'T JUST BETRAYED THROUGH ODYSSEUS, IT'S FLIPPED — SEE DIVINITY IN THE GRACE OF THE STRANGER, AND YOU WILL FIND THEIR MOST DIVINE QUALITIES. SEE AN ENEMY, AND YOU WILL FIND AN ENEMY. WE ARE TRAINED TO SEE THE WAY WE SEE. WE MUST RECOGNIZE THAT IT IS WITHIN OUR POWER TO TRAIN. IT IS A VISUALISATION OF A WORLD COMING TO TERMS WITH THE VIOLENCE IT HAS INFLICTED ON ITSELF, AND THE INTENTIONAL BLINDERS THAT WE STILL WEAR. NOLAN’S FILM IS A DEEP EXAMINATION OF THE POWER A NARRATIVE CAN HOLD, THE APPEAL OF A MEMORY, AND THE BELIEF IN AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. IT'S NOT A DESIRE FOR SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE, IT'S A LONGING FOR THAT WHICH YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST AND CANNOT BEAR TO BE WITHOUT. STORIES ARE HOW PEOPLE WAGE WARS, BUILD EMPIRES, AND CONVEY MEANING. THEY ARE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AS MUCH AS THEY ARE AN OLIVE BRANCH. THE ODYSSEY IS BOTH, AND THE TEXT’S UNRELIABILITY STEEPED IN A RICH, DEVELOPED SET OF PHILOSOPHICAL IDEOLOGY MAKES FOR A FINE RECIPE FOR MODERN DISCOURSE. NOLAN MAKES A CHOICE TO DELIBERATELY MOVE AWAY FROM THE ORIGINAL TEXTUAL CANON IN ORDER TO ASK THE BIGGER QUESTION FOLLOWING ITS EXISTENCE: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS STORY RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW? IN THIS, THE FILM IS PARTICULARLY POIGNANT, TAKING SERIOUSLY WHAT WE KNEW THEN AND STILL BEING EARNEST IN WHAT WE UNDERSTAND ABOUT LIFE TODAY. IT SERVES A SIMILAR PURPOSE TO OTHER TEXTS THAT STAND THE TEST OF TIME. THE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS THEY PRESENT THROUGH THE MEANS OF FICTION APPEAL TO A WIDE RANGE OF SOCIOPOLITICAL THOUGHT AND ALLOW PEOPLE TO PROJECT THEIR OWN IDEOLOGIES ONTO THOSE TOPICS, CHANGING THEIR MEANINGS INTO SOMETHING TANGIBLE FOR ANY MODERN AUDIENCE, NO MATTER IF YOU’RE A WINDSOCK HEADED SHITMOUTH OR A BLITHERING MOANY NOOKSUCKER, WHICH MOST OF YOU CERTAINLY ARE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE THINGS. EVERYONE CAN FIND AN INTERPRETATION THAT SUITS THEIR PERSONAL NARRATIVE. IF YOU THINK IT AGREES WITH YOU, IT’S BECAUSE IT *DOES*, BUT NEVER ENTIRELY, NEVER WITH CONVICTION. MORE OFTEN, IT CHALLENGES. IT MAY FORCE YOU TO LOOK IN PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER NOT. IT MAY FORCE YOU TO EXAMINE THE WAYS IN WHICH WE HAVE FAILED OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHO STOPPED BEING GUEST-FRIENDS A LONG TIME AGO. IT MAY ASK YOU WHETHER YOU CAN COMPREHEND WHAT ALL OF PARADOX SPACE NEEDS, OR IF YOU ARE SIMPLY REFUSING TO BE PRESENT. AND IT WILL WARN YOU AS IT HAS WARNED ALL OF US TIME AND TIME AGAIN, THAT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING CANNOT STAY THAT WAY. HEED THE ADVICE OF ATHENA: WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THUNDER? FIRE?
DO I HAVE BUG EYES. BE HONEST.
SEE THAT? ANKLE-MONITOR FREE. WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. SOMEONE SHOULD BUY ME A DRINK TO CELEBRATE. IN FACT, THERE’S A LOT TO CELEBRATE RIGHT NOW. #FEETFRIDAY BEING ONE OF THEM. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/0CD1B3193E98.PNG ((CREDS TO RATKINGBUFFET ON TUMBLR <3))
I think soooon i'll be filming MRE reviews like thoose bald ass dudes oon Grubtube
@ANONYMOUSECATALOG JUST POSTED THIS CANDID OF ME GETTING BENT OVER AND ROYALLY COMPLETELY FUCKED. WHAT’S THE VERDICT? HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/7475E40B072A.JPG #SUGGESTIVE #HIVEARREST
You Get One And A Half Hours Because I Like You Better. #serene
Daves Have Preemptively Earned An Hour In The Canoe.
oops @turntechsGodhead i found your skull we need to arrange an exchange #gore #maybe #cw-skull
I have no idea what the fuck is going on over on the Green Moon and I am immensely grateful I do not need to know. I hope they're doing good. I don't really know how to tell.
THIS IS SO MAJOR. years of believing in the shadow yeti are finally paying off! i can't believe this. i need to sit down.
oops swwallowwed another one oops swwallowwed another one oops swwallowwed another one next time lets forego the toe jewwelry
me missus used to wear a maid dress for me...
I know.
Give him a kissy for me
Glad to see Soup is doing good. Give him more pats from me.
I Invite You Over Under The Guise That We Are Going To Have Sex, Little Do You Know I Intend To Play Only In Dreams On My Bass Guitar At You. If You Boo I Cull You On The Spot. #nsfw #nsfc #violence
Take your medication if you have not already done so.
I'm not a cop.
That is alright. I assure you, Broccoli Cheddar Soop Doggs Brockiana Grande is, and will always be, covered under Trollbamacare. It is every meowbeast's right to have a healthy little treat treat.
honestly guys vvanity is a real problem one that i dont intend to fix in me anytime soon
၄⋆၃ love this fat bastard
၄⋆၃ just had a wonderful idea name him tuberxulosis but only xall him TB in front of others and then suddenly with no warning full name him in front of someone :)
WHAT IF YOUR MEOWBEAST'S NAME WAS A SERIES OF MUSICAL NOTES. LIKE BOWBOWBOW OR BEEPBEEP.
၄⋆၃ i suppose it would be very funny to have a xat named after me i support this
THE CHOICE USUALLY ISN'T EVEN REALLY THAT DIFFICULT. I MEAN. SOMETIMES IT IS. BUT IT IS USUALLY REALLY EASY AND LEADS TO THE DIFFCULTY. -YALDABAOTH
If I die before Mitch McTronnel: No I didn’t. I am alive. I would do anything to outlive him.
speakin a this annoyance @audaciousConfident in case you wwanted to see her
#SCORE
Raisin.
THERE IS NO TOIL MORE FUCKING IRRITATING THAN REPLACING THE SLIME IN YOUR RECUPERACOON. THANKFULLY YOU ONLY HAVE TO DO IT ONCE EVERY HALF-SWEEP OR SO, BUT THE CLEANUP IS ALWAYS SUCH A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE.
#puppet https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3ef9776c4880.gif
What's for lunch today?
@handMaid The shots from our photoshoot are ready. I wish nothing but good luck to you. :B #NSFW #Suggestive
Going for drinks tonight. Swim date with Pelagi tomorrow.
The demand for Grapefruit has been steadily decreasing over the past few years.
#oursalmon
@asp1r1ngPess1m1st DUDE???? MY FUCK1NG SALMON
The Rabies Outbreak Has Been Cancelled, They've Given Me My Shots. #pensive #woe
every night i look in the mirror i reintroduce myself ’cause i try to recreate myself to make myself a better person than i was yesterday ’cause al_ the opps be living in yesterday #truth
REAL SHIT
NEW CABINET MEMBER! I am proud to announce that Dexter/Dextra Vuzrei, also known as @catastrophicGalaxy, has been appointed as the Head of Science and Technology, & Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy (OSTP). Welcome to the Cabinet!
Show Me An Eridan I Don't Have " Beef " With, And You Will Have Shown Me An Impossibility.
Research finds that yes. Average chittr user do be thinking those thoughts, slime still caked all around them.
glub
The picture looked so real...
LET ME SET THE SCENE HERE. I'M SAT IN MY RESPITE BLOCK AT PRESENT, THE ONLY THING I HAVE OPEN ON MY COMPUTER IS CHITTR. IT'S A TEMPERATE MAY DAY IN THE TROLL KINGDOM AND THE RAIN IS COMING DOWN OUTSIDE PRETTY HEAVILY. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE THE WINDOW OPEN A CRACK TO HEAR IT FALL. THE SYNCOPATED PITTER PATTER ON THE OUTSIDE WINDOW DANCING IN CONCERT WITH THE SOUND OF MY TOUCH STUBS GLIDING ACROSS MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD. BACK ON ALTERNIA, YOU DID *NOT* WANT YOUR WINDOW OPEN DURING THE RAIN. THAT SHIT WAS PURE ACID, AND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIVE WAS BUILT TO WITHSTAND IT, BUT THE INSIDE SURE WASN'T AND NEITHER WAS YOUR SKIN. FOR SOME TIME, EVEN THOUGH ITS SAFE TO TOUCH THE RAINWATER ON EARTH-C, I REFUSED TO OPEN MY WINDOW. TODAY THAT CHANGED. DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? BECAUSE TODAY IS A DAY OF FIRSTS. UPON REFLECTION, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY FIRST 'SPONSORED POST'. A BENEFACTOR WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS GAVE ME A GIFT CARD TO A PIZZA PLACE CALLED GIORDANO'S. THERE WAS ENOUGH ON THIS CARD FOR A MEAL FOR TWO AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR EVERYONE, I *WILL* BE GOING BACK. I HATE EVERYTHING THAT THIS PIZZA TRIP HAS MADE ME BECOME. THE KARKAT THAT YOU KNEW YESTERDAY IS A DEAD MAN. HE'S BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST, MERELY AN ERRANT SPECTER HAUNTING YOUR MEMORY. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. EXCEPT...I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T I? IF THERE IS ONE THING KARKAT VANTAS IS- IT'S UNREPENTANT IN HIS FOOD OPINIONS. DID YOU REALLY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WOULD GROVEL AT YOUR FEET? BESEECH YOUR TEMPLE FOR APOLOGY? THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCY OF THE EXTREMELY FAKE CLOWN GODS ABOVE FOR DARING TO THINK THAT THIS PIZZA *FUCKS SEVERELY*? YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. WELCOME TO KARKAT'S PIZZA REVIEWS. THERE IS NO GOD HERE BUT ME. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR TITHES IN THE TIP JAR AND KISS MY FINALLY BEJEWELED RING YOU ME DAMNED HEATHEN. NORMALLY WHEN I TRY OUT A NEW PIZZA PLACE, I GO FOR THE BASICS. NOT THIS TIME. AS THIS WAS A SPONSORED VISIT, I TOOK INSTRUCTION ON WHAT PIZZA TO GET- ANY VARIETY OF THEIR EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. I SEE NOW WHY SOME HUMANS CALL THIS SHIT A 'PIZZA PIE' BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT THING HAD A *CRUST*. IT WAS LIKE EXCAVATING IN A MINE OF SAUCE AND MOLTEN HOT CHEESE. I'LL ADMIT. I WAS VERY HESITANT GOING INTO THIS. SAUCE? ON TOP OF THE PIZZA? HOW NOVEL! HOW STRANGE! I'D HEARD OF SUCH A CONCOCTION, SUCH A WEIRD FUCKING MEAL BEFORE AND I'D SORT OF WRITTEN IT OFF ENTIRELY. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO THE PALATE OF ANYONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINKPAN AND THE FULL POSSESSION OF ONE'S NATURAL FLAVOR BUMPS. I WAS A FUCKING FOOL. A FRAUD, EVEN. I'M A MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAN NOW. A BETTER MAN. THAT. SHIT. FUCKED. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST 10/10 REVIEW. THIS BASIC ASS, BEAUTIFULLY SIMPLISTIC CHEESE AND SAUCE DEEP DISH FLAVOR DISC WILL BE MY SWAN SONG. YOU CAN PLAY ME OUT NOW. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LET'S REVIEW WHAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID? THIS IS UNASSAILABLE! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO ATTAIN THE BENEVOLENT PEAKS THAT THIS FLAVOR DISC PROVIDES, YOU HAPLESS DEGENERATE. YOU SPEND HOURS EVERY DAY GOONING ON CHITTR.ING WHEN THERE'S A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF EXPERIENCES WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR IF YOU JUST SEEK TO ATTAIN THEM,. THE CRUST FOUGHT ME. IT WAS A BRIEF STRUGGLE TO BITE INTO BEFORE ITS CRISPY DENSENESS YIELDED TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF MY FANGS, LIKE A LOVER JUST A TOUCH TOO SHY TO GIVE IN RIGHT AWAY. THE SAUCE SETTLED ON TOP, A TEASING OCEAN OF TOMATO AND PESTO. SHE STARED AT ME IN OUR TWIN COLOR, EYES ALLURING AND INSPIRING A GROWL FROM ME. IT WAS FERAL. I'M NOT PROUD OF THE WAY I TOOK HER. THE WAY I CLAMPED MY CLAWS AROUND HER AND TORE INTO HER SUPPLE FLESH. ...WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS #SUGGESTIVE? I'M DESCRIBING BITING INTO A SLICE OF PIZZA YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. THE CHEESE WAS THICK. HAVING BEEN BAKED INTO THE BASED LAYER OF THE PIZZA MEANT THAT SHIT WAS LIKE A LAVA EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. IT SCORNED ME AT FIRST, BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHIN, BUT ENTICED ME WITH HER FLAVOR. SO I PUT IT DOWN AND TOOK A HUGE GLUG OF COKE (WITH ICE) AND THANK YOU TO THE GIORDANO'S STAFF FOR THEIR SWIFT RESPONSE BECAUSE ANY LONGER AND I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED A LOT AND MADE EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT LOOK AT ME FUNNY AND THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WANT TO POST THIS AT ALL. THE FLAVOR PROFILE WAS IMMACULATE. EVERY FLAVOR BLENDED INTO EACH OTHER SO PERFECTLY BUT STILL KEPT THEMSELVES CHASTELY DISTINCT, EACH SHOWING ME WHAT THEY HAD GOING FOR THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COLLECTIVE. THEY WERE LIKE MY THREE GIRLFRIENDS. AND YES THEY SMOKED WEED. TO PUT INTO THE SIMPLEST WORDS POSSIBLE. I AM A CHANGED MAN. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN WHO WALKED INTO THAT PIZZA PLACE. THAT SHIT WAS ALSO WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO EAT IN ONE SITTING SO I STILL HAVE A FEW SLICES LEFT THAT I TOOK HOME AND SHOVED IN THE FRIDGE. VRISKA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS KEEP YOUR HANDSY THIEF PAWS OFF OF MY FUCKING PIZZA I MARKED IT WITH MY BLOOD AND PUNCHED IN TRIPLICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING *MINE*, OKAY? I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY I GOT YOU A BBQ MEATLOVERS IT'S IN THE FRIDGE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, OKAY? I EVEN GOT YOU A 2L OF SPRITE. YOU *LOVE* SPRITE. IS THIS ENOUGH APPEASEMENT FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR LOUSY, NO GOOD CLAWS OFF OF MY FOOD? YES? GOOD. GLAD WE COULD COME TO AN AGREEMENT. FINAL VERDICT: 10/10. I'VE FOUND A NEW LOVE IN LIFE. A NEW *PURPOSE.* THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, GUYS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO OUT AND SEIZE IT. CARPE DICKEM OR WHATEVER. THANK YOU AND GOONNIGHT. I MEAN GOODNIGHT.
Nothing gets a fella standing at attention more than a romp in double time! My special guest DEMANDED he be in her primary company but i refuse to be chucked to the wayside. So were saddling up like a regular hotdog. A lady sandwich and shes the cold cut in-between. So excited to be home! Turns out i missed a party though. :(
I Think We Should Bring Back Public Shaming, Actually.............
OH, DID YOU THINK I WAS JUST GOING TO POST REVIEWS FOR PIZZA? YOU FOOL. YOU FUCKING MORON. YOU FUCKING IGNORAMUS. OH MY SWEET SUMMER FUCKHEAD. NO, WE'RE MOVING ON TO BURGERS NOW. THE RIGHT BURGER IS SOMETHING THAT CAN RARELY BE PUT INTO WORDS AND MIGHT ONLY BE ABLE TO BE ACCURATELY DESCRIBED WHEN PUT INTO SONG. BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST. FOR YOU. YOU UNGRATEFUL LEECHES. THE METRICS FOR WHICH I ENJOY A BURGER ARE VERY SIMPLE. I LOOK FOR THREE THINGS, NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF BURGER IT IS: MOIST, FLAVORFUL MEAT, ENOUGH CHEESE TO PUT AN ESPECIALLY LARGE SHRIEKBEAST INTO THE GROUND AND ADEQUATELY TOASTED BUNS. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN THE COMMENTS TO SAY: HAHA, BUNS! HAHAHAHAHA, HE SAID MEAT! YES. THIS IS THE PRICE WE PAY WHEN TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING AS WONDERFUL AS THE HUMBLE BURGER. SOMETIMES SHIT IS GOING TO END UP SOUNDING REALLY FUCKING #SUGGESTIVE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT. SO HERE, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. YOUR TIME EVEN! MOIST MEAT. TOASTED BUNS. SUPPLE, DELICATE BREAD. OOEY, GOOEY CHEESE. WASN'T THAT FUNNY? AREN'T YOU JUST TICKLED FUCKING PINK AT THE VAGUEST BULLSHIT? I BET YOU ARE, YOU KNUCKLE-DRAGGING MOUTHBREATHER. ANYWAY, TODAY I VISITED A BURGER PLACE KNOWN AS TITO'S. HERE THEY SERVE A VARIETY OF BURGERS, INCLUDING THE FABLED 'SMASH PATTY', AND HERE'S WHERE OUR TASTES MAY DIFFER. THIS MAY BE THE PART WHERE YOU RAISE YOUR PITCHFORKS AND PUT ME TO THE FUCKING TORCH BECAUSE HOT TAKE? I DON'T REALLY LIKE SMASH PATTIES. I THINK THEY HAVE THEIR PLACE. I WOULDN'T TURN MY NOSE UP IF I FOUND ONE ON MY PLATE, LOVINGLY CRAFTED BY ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS WHO SAW FIT TO FEED ME. "YOU'RE SAFE NOW, MY CHILD", THEY SAY. "DON'T EVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" I REPLY. BUT YEAH I WOULDN'T *CHOOSE* A SMASH PATTY SO THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD TITO'S HAS OTHER OPTIONS. WHEN TRYING OUT A NEW BURGER PLACE I ALWAYS DEFAULT TO THEIR MOST BASIC BURGER AVAILABLE. HERE, THIS HAPPENED TO BE THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER. BULLY FOR FUCKING ME, THAT HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVORITE KIND. THIS DOUBLE CHEESE CAME WITH A SALAD TOPPING AND SOME OF THE HOUSE'S SIGNATURE 'BURGER SAUCE', WHICH LOSES POINTS BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN SHIT IS NAMED LIKE THAT. WHAT'S IN IT? WHAT DOES IT ENTAIL? IS IT SPICY OR SWEET? ROLL THE FUCKING DICE YOU IGNORANT FUCK! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNTIL ITS IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, ASSAULTING YOU WITH ITS AIRHEADS: WHITE MYSTERY. TO CUT A LONG DIATRIBE SHORT THOUGH THE SAUCE WAS FINE I THINK IT WAS A MUSTARD BASE WITH SOME SPICES. I GIVE THIS BURGER A SOLID 7/10. IT WAS A GOOD BURGER! I ENJOYED IT! TASTY ENOUGH FOR SURE AND I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO GOING TO THE PLACE AGAIN. THE MEAT WAS JUICY, AND HELD ALL THE GREASY SHIT THAT I LOVE. TITO, THE PROPRIETOR HIMSELF, WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO ACCOMMODATE MY REQUEST FOR EXTRA CHEESE AND BOY DID HE DELIVER- THAT SHIT WAS DRIBBLING ONTO MY SHIRT I FELT LIKE A WRIGGLER AT MCDISORDERS WHO'S LUSUS IS TOO BUSY TO ADEQUATELY TAKE CARE OF THEM. FAST, FRIENDLY SERVICE. NOW LET'S GO ONTO WHAT BRINGS IT DOWN IN THE SCORE. THE SALAD ITSELF WAS TASTY BUT *NOT* CRISP. WHEN I BITE INTO A PICKLE, I EXPECT IT TO CRUNCH, I EXPECT IT TO RESIST ME. I EXPECT IT TO BE A BRIEF, FLEETING FIGHT BETWEEN MY TEETH AND THIS OBSTINATE VEGETABLE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS ALL A BIT LIMP. AS BEFORE MENTIONED, I DON'T ENJOY A MYSTERY SAUCE- EVEN IF I ENDED UP LIKING IT, THE HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE OF BEING HESITANT TO TAKE A BITE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WHITE SHIT IS KIND OF PUT ME OFF A BIT. THE BIGGEST OFFENDER TO MY RATING SYSTEM WAS THE FACT THAT I HAD TO ORDER FRIES *SEPARATELY*. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHERE A BURGER DOESN'T *COME WITH* THE FRIES? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING THAT IT'S A SEPARATE CHARGE?! THIS SPITS IN THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE BURGER EXPERIENCE! A BURGER WITHOUT HER FRIES IS LIKE A THRESHECUTIONER WITHOUT HIS SICKLE. WHICH IS TO SAY: HE'S A VERY FUCKING PISS POOR EXCUSE FOR A THRESHIE TO BE QUITE HONEST!!! A DRINK AS A DISJOINTED PIECE I WILL ACCEPT. A DESSERT, TOO! HELL, I'LL EVEN ACCEPT SEPARATE ONION RINGS! BUT FRIES? THE FRIES?! IF THIS IS WHERE THE FUTURE OF THE BURGER RESTAURANT IS HEADED THEN I AM NOT FUCKING OPTIMISTIC. AS ITERATED BEFORE, 7/10. JOIN ME NEXT TIME WHERE I REVIEW A HOT DOG OR SOME SHIT WHO KNOWS! I SURE AS HELL WON'T UNTIL I GET TO THE RESTAURANT, SO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR NOSY, PROGNOSTICATIVE BULLSHIT! KARKAT OUT.
PELOZI'S PIZZA PALACE ON 72 AND HERALD - TROLL KINGDOM.
STOP YAPPING AND BEING DRAMATIC I ALREADY LISTED THE FUCKING ADDRESS TO DAVEPETA EARLIER IN THE THREAD. I'D NEVER LET A BRO BE DESTITUTE AND SLICELESS LIKE THAT.
TW: #h9m9ph96ia #der9gat9rystatements #makinglight9fseri9usissues #surprisinglypr9gressivestance9nw9men
okay what to do with my morning.
people forget that im part sword too its not just part of me its also in me and not just in a literal sense
i do not YEARN it is beneath me i conjure i manifest i evvoke #dailyaffirmations #majyyk #sorcery
she nothing on my nothing until i nothing
Oh Yes Its Just That Hes Got An Unfortunate Amount Of Aegyo Hes Utterly Flush With It
feeling pretty good! might cause mischief.
8=8 > Too hot for the feed.
You guys could be getting laser swords yet all you do is eye Cronus over there. Lame.
ATTENTION @TERMINALLYCAPRICIOUS#2753. THIS IS, APPARENTLY, YOUR HANDLER SPEAKING. LOOK, TIMELINES ARE COMPLICATED AND SO IS MOIRAILLEGIANCE, BUT YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, NOT WHAT YOU WISHED FOR. SO HERE IT IS. HERE IS YOUR TACTICAL RESPONSE. I GET IT. YOU ARE UPSET. YOU CONTAIN WITHIN YOU THE UNBRIDLED BURNING FUCKAGEDDON-IGNITING HEAT OF A THOUSAND GREEN SUNS. IT IS THE HEAT OF A FULL-BLOWN REACTOR MELTDOWN, AND IT FEELS LIKE NO QUANTITY OF CONCRETE AND BORON, NO MATTER HOW CYCLOPEAN THE SIZE OF THE FAT FUCKING DUMPSCUTTLETRUCK THAT BACKS IT UP, COULD POSSIBLY QUENCH THE FALLOUT OF THIS *THERMONUCLEAR* CRASH-OUT YOU ARE HAVING. AND BY THE METRIC OF YOUR OWN SICK, TWISTED, LOOP-DE-LOOP HOPBEAST CARNIVAL LOGIC HAPPENING INSIDE YOUR SLUDGY THINKPAN RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE JUSTIFIED. THAT ASSHOLE'S HORNS STOLE HER GANDERBULBS AWAY FROM YOU FOR FIVE SWEET, PRECIOUS SECONDS, AND IF YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM, THEN YOU'LL SCOOP THEM OUT WITH A SERRATED LARGE ROUND BUNCHFRUIT SPOON AND SPREAD THEM ON TOAST. BUT, TO QUOTE THE INSIPID VERNACULAR OF A BESPECTACLED DIPSHIT RAP GOD I AM SO BALEFULLY ACQUAINTED WITH, YOU ARE CURRENTLY, AS THEY SAY, "SCARING THE HOES." SO IT IS WITH THE REQUISITE CLEARANCE CODES AND THE EN ROUTE BALLISTIC MISSILE OF MY CATASTROPHIC FULL-BORE PALE POWER THAT I SAY TO YOU NOW. LET'S JUST COOL IT FOR NOW, MAN. WE CAN WATCH TROLL AIR BUD, IF YOU WANT. I WILL WATCH *UP TO FIVE* OF THE TROLL AIR BUD MOVIES WITH YOU. SIGH. -- CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST SENT YOU A PAP. --
-^Hey.^-
1'M GO1NG TO G3T SOM3 SN4CKS, 1F SOM3TH1NG H4PP3NS TO G4MZ33 L3T M3 KNOW.
DON'T YOU WORRY. YOUR FAMILIARITY WITH THE INTERIOR OF KITCHEN APPLIANCES IS ABOUT TO SPREAD BEFORE YOU LIKE A VAST NEW TERRITORY. YOU ARE NOT GOING IN THE FRIDGE. I WILL MAKE YOU BEG ME FOR THE COOL REPRIEVE OF THE CRISPER DRAWER. BUSTER, WE ARE HAVING GAMBURGER HELPER FOR DINNER! YOU'RE GOING HEAD FIRST INTO THAT FUCKING OVEN!!!!! #nsfw #violence #gore
Er, Jane? @gutsyGumshoe ? You're fine, right? You haven't posted anything in quite a moment, haha! Just, wanted to make sure! If you could say something at all right now that would be really, really grand.
B33 < *sits around all chill with tail swaying around and shit* #meow https://file.garden/ae64nVAoTDGIu7u1/davepetachillaf.png
B33 < i am thankful fur the horny man walrus after reading that story and looking at that fat fucking taxidermy walrus ive learned what true joy is
B33 < #justicefurhmw
B33 < yes bro take me to the horny man's walrus
Fuck yesssss.
B33 < new sw33t bro and hella jeff designs https://file.garden/ae64nVAoTDGIu7u1/sw33tcatandhellacat.png
did you know tame impala is just one guy
•° mr w*rldw!de *ver here yuck!n !t up w!th the best *f them b!g fan
i dont give a fuck about anything basically