♦ pitied by @turntableGodhead
WELL, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T MOVE QUITE LIKE I USED TO, CHAMP.
WHAT IS A DOUGIE.
#johnfacts i am eating another hot pocket and i am mildly uncomfortable because it is very warm in my room and the hotness of the aforementioned hot pocket is adding to my already rising body temperature. :/ #notawesome #hotpocket
I got got. What can I say.
i aint fuckin with your dougie.
please for the love of god BE A SNITCH!!!! argh!!!!
6am. jusft got home. wrs oit all night . tired #substance
so. this is weird. some weirdo is in my dms telling me he's gonna kidnap me. i might need the police. or my dad.
dude! no! i thought i was hungry for hot pockets but then i thought about strawberries and now i am hungry for fruits. you should be more sympathetic of my plight. >:B
i made a hot pocket and now i am realizing i did not really want a hot pocket actually. but it would be a waste to not eat it. :c
(=^･⩊･^=) < TRYING MY BEST TO BRIGHTEN UP THE F33D! THAT WAS NOT... OKAY... TO S33... SO UH!
OH.
need to get drunker. #substance
...okay.
you literally just made me a whole drawing for disability month and now you keep makin fun of me for not bein able to stand up. which is it.
we can definitely hash it out. considering i'm sitting right here.
fuck you dude.
some might call this ironic or perhaps karma but im fairly certain my brother is about to totally kick my ass if anyone wants to feel any kind of sympathy for me. #violence
my brother and his weird fuckin clown boyfriend are? cyberbullying me? i guess?
the fuck?
TAKING A BOILING HOT BUBBLE BATH AND PAINTING MY CLAWS. SEND CHIT
"speak now or forever hold your peace" i mutter to a handful of about 32 dead minnows, dead serious #cw-animal-death #immedicatedbutstillmentalig
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[THEYRE TAKING MY PURRBEA$T AWAAYYY NOOOOOOO]
??? fuck you
i'm not helpless i can still kick ass, fuck you. thanks dawg
right now. still need to take them kms
cant stand up without fainting today. whats a guy gotta do to be functional around here.
i'm grossed out imagining pressing on broken blood vessels under your skin ugh its fucking disgusting fuck
gross fross gros grross stop doing that shuf up never speak again
man. im gay as hell. :/
KIND OF FEELS LIKE SOMEONE'S STIRRED MY BRAIN AROUND WITH ONE OF THOSE FANCY LITTLE DRINK MIXING SPOONS. OW.
HEADACHE! :^(
wHiCh oF ThE FoUr bUtToNs wOuLd a mOtHeRfUcKeR PrEfEr? (o: YoU WaNt eGbErT YoU GoT HiM. sIdEs a mOtHeRfUcKeR AiN'T CoMiNg oUt tOlIgHt, ThE MeAt cAn bArElY StAnD ThE HeAt wHeN ThE SuN'S DoWn fR.
that changes based on if i like you or not. right now i do not.
oh man so not cool!!!! i mean you're right i guess but jeez!!!! D:
some of the funnier stuff i say always ends up being in someone's replies in a post that is already, like, waaaaay buried. sucks! :c
the j in john does not stand for jealous because i do not ever get jealous at any point. #johnfacts
ive got an annoying leech following me at work. is this how my bro felt .
iknow man. m tryinf.
GET A FUCKING LIFE.
they call me john 12 because i have 12 notifs. i lied it is actually 13 now. joke ruined. i am sorry.
Pardon!?
Knee socks and garters isnt inherently gay nor old!!!
so hungry.
eating bowl of cold pasta. have to go to a formal event in like a half hour. would genuinely rather die.
the more i consider it the more i realized i probably should not have stopped talkin to my therapist after he brought up the whole 'possibly bpd' topic. you really gotta wonder.
flooding my notifications bar. hello there. lmao.
this is fuckin killing me dude.
talkin bout some Youre gonna get fat hahahaha
30 minutes til my appointment. not particularly excited. also the broken wire from my braces keeps stabbing me in the gums. today is going great.
FFFUUCKKMMYY,PLUG,IS,GOING,TO,FUCKING,HATE,MME,ALL,I,HAVE,IS,CHANGE,HH,
beign disabled scks in general bbut also jerking off witha heart condition is a fcuking nightmar.e. 130bpm nd dizzy because god forbid a guy hve fun. #nsfw also #substance i vuess.
oncr im sentient enough to stand proper it is over for yuo dawg.
thads personal shit dude. fuckiyou.
Okay. I lied. Ill humor this one. Have you considered i dont exactly /want/ that? If theres anything more you need to give your two cents about about you could man up and speak to me directly. Thanks. #nsfw I suppose. https://i.postimg.cc/3JLB4Stv/image.png
In regards to my prior post i think i am also more than entitled to complain about the weirdos that are consistently in my inbox considering 4/5 of the responses ive got waiting around right now are WEIRD. Real loserish behavior to imply id be wrong for not particularly loving the attention. God forbid a man wanna have a normal conversation. #nsfw https://i.postimg.cc/tJwK9qn1/image.png
I assume the reason you havent taken the time to write down your handle is because youre well aware of the fact that youre a filthy good for nothing internet perv and maybe have some semblance of shame about it. At least enough to make yourself unidentifiable. Thats beside the point however. What a disturbing way to think! <:/ https://i.postimg.cc/VNmB2qTP/image.png #nsfw
youre genuinely so stupid that it bothers me sometimes. like truly i lie awake at night trying to figure out where i went wrong.
my notifs full of some jacking off. man. #nsfw ?
Re: form 8e more cre8ive than just sending slurs in future 8ut I appreci8 the sentiment
my brain feels like its trying to escape my skull. havent had a headache like this in a minute. someone knock me unconscious at this point. #violence i guess.
dave playing overwatch loud as fuck. can hear it from his bedroom. great background ambience for clinging onto the couch and trying not to black out repeatedly. im having a lovely night.
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh my GODDDD. FOUR THE LASSSST TIIIIME!!!! I AM *NOT* A CHUCKLE CHASER!!!! }*ᯅ*{ }*ᯅ*{ }*ᯅ*{ }*ᯅ*{ #anonhate #grumblrina #SOOOOnotcool #LIKEOKAYSTOPIT }˚₊⊹ ࣪
too hot to fall asleep.
People tend to assume im british i think its always a real shock when they find out im not. #Sorry ?
heart rates back down the usual range. fucking it up again via alcoholic beverage to celebrate. have a great night. #substance
gxt x hxxdxchx txdxy 3: prxgrxssxng xntx x mxgrxxnx ;-;
i have glass bones and paper skin.
my sword is not a euphonism. my blade is just that awe inspiring you confuse it for my junk. #suggestive i guess.
love how everything i try to do or even if im simply just trying to have fun its always ruined by a bro thats really just the story of my entire life
heart rate went down from 126 to 101. good news. still technically tachycardic. bad news.
ult dirk ruined it. you missed it.
the masses will soon learn that being named john does not make you a boy. the masses will soon learn that a bio is worth checking. the masses will soon learn. #manifesting wokely.
You can keep making pithy little jokes about my genuine attempts to help you people get a grip of your own life and achieve something resembling happiness if you want. It's your loss.
my fucking ribs.
Of course. Bringing it back up is going to do wonders for my locking the fuck in. I am also not a boy please be a little more mindful when you tag me with intention to publicly shame me.
Now I'm listening to music my mother listened to. And... I like it. Oh no.
every day the desire to change my name and no longer associate with dirk strider as a collective seems more and more alluring. a man can only take so much shamelessness from alternate versions of himself before it taints his good fucking name. man.
what happened to my banana??? atleast it looks sick now ig #davehour https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/722b78d09007.png
I have a headache and I'm having cramps. When will my #suffering end?
You know aside from tasting like shit this has done absolutely nothing for me except make me a tiny bit stupider than usual and thats generous. At this rate i oughta just go to bed. #substances
Sitting outside with a bottle of fireball. Seemed only fitting for a good evening by the ole firepit! Anyhoo this stuffs fucking revolting even with a chaser remind me to find a more suitable drink next time. Would not recommend. #substances
[NA] is now offline! fuck this font's messing with my head slime time
im not a sore loser this game is just garbage for babies.
sentenced to 5 million years holter monitor. cardiologist got my ass again. (#nsfw. its not intended to be but im tagging it anyway cause im not wearing a shirt lmao.) https://i.postimg.cc/8c0ZmZ9Q/holter.png
being a puppetfucker is not for the weak willed. you break em real easy if you get too into it. #nsfw
https://cdn.imgchest.c0m/files/83c8057b410a.png
4am. my head hurts like hell. trying to get to sleep is going poorly but im also simultaneously exhausted. fuck.
I'm thinking about horses now. I miss my impossibly large Rainbow Dash plush. She was so wonderful and never ignored my mentions of a girl's romantic feelings for her just to turn around and plan a dinner date with said girl who has, need I remind you, been to wife her up for over a year. Because it doesn't matter if you don't feel anything, she's been plotting to get with you ever since we got here and our mutual friend told me that she was saying some crazy shit and I believe our friend because she's a wonderful obnoxiously pink person who wouldn't lie about something like that. Ohhhh, Rainbow Dash. My love.
Sigh. Guys. My biggest fear... The thing that keeps me up during the day..... I think Jeremy Renner would play me if I were in a movie. <:(
20 dollars to whoever agrees to come knock me the fuck out so i can get a temporary break from this horrible headache.
FUCK. I FORGOT MY RAISIN.
ok. something fishy is definitely going on! i swear i don't remember sonic 1 being like this... https://i.imgur.com/aquwfdv.png
#y34rn1n9h0ur5 8u7 1’ll pr373nd 1’m y34rn1n9 f0r 4 h07d09 w17h 0n10n 4nd ch3353 4nd 84r83cu3 54uc3 m4y83 50m3 84c0n M4y83 17’5 n07 pr373nd n0w˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
my body hurts.
Dirkjake is still on. No denial here.
I keep calling him my boyfriend i know he technically wasnt that anymore but considering he was out of his damn mind im vetoing the breakup.
All fun and games and dead dirks until my boyfriend is the dead dirk. Shucks.
Happy friday haha.
Okay well i kind of liked him more when he was a living emotionally abusive dbag and not a dead one.
See thats the thing i dont care if he always does it because i kind of wish he didnt!!!! I dont mean to sound harsh but gosh.
Say whatever the hell you want but have a little class when you say it to the face of a man whos boyfriend NO LONGER HAS A HEAD ON HIS BODY!!! Please!!!! Goodness!
For the record im well aware this tends to happen when it comes to dirk strider but i sure as hell dont like it!
Some of you are so fucking awful when it comes to saying inappropriate stuff at horrible times and i cant really even be that mad about it because im a little more pissed off about my dead boyfriend. Who if i havent mentioned it yet. Is pretty darn dead.
To add onto my previous post: What do you do when your boyfriend goes insane and breaks up with you and then follows up by killing himself? Sorry to be so blunt but that seems to be the big issue right now. (#cw-self-harm)
1 w4n7 70 74573 h15 5w347 m4n fuck #5u993571v3˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
its only 1pm iam so fucked oh man this.was a horrible idea lmao. #substances
My room feels so empty when hes not here taking up space and i kind of regret ever complaining about the fact that he would hog up my bed all day. He could do it forever for all i care. Id even lay with him this time.
I need a drink. Or ten. #substances
How exactly do you deal with your ex (?) lover having what appears to be a mental breakdown that has since resulted in your breakup and he cannot be convinced to change his mind? Also what do you do if hes accusing you of antics with a girl you feel completely platonic about and now youve gotta look that girl in the face over dinner tonight and pretend she didnt just end your entire relationship somehow? Seriously i couldnt tell you whats gone wrong in my life over the past week because im awful confused myself but wow!
one day i'm gonna have to get a job.
me and my little blue switch lite with a useless amount of storage space against the world. i had to archive animal crossing new horizons just to open mario kart 8. love this thing and its beautiful intolerance for having more than 2 games downloaded at a time i guess.
burned my single pancake that i made with the little bit of expired pancake mix i found lying around. what is even the point.
D --> Apologies if I'm ever a bit. Odd if I interact with some of you, especially if you were a part of my old friend group. The majority of you were gone. It feels sometimes like I am looking at ghosts. Sometimes I am. I'm happy most of you have lived on and are maybe even happy.
everything's been so boring to me lately. it's kinda like no amount of interaction makes me feel less weird and lonely and i don't really enjoy the things i'd usually like to do anymore. and i'm deeply confused about my identity but i'm willfully ignoring that. hm! #mentalhealth i think that's a tag right?
ALLOW ME TO PUT THIS IN A WAY YOUR DEGRADED PAN CAN UNDERSTAND-- YOUR OPINION ON THE SIZE OF MY BULGE IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME. I CANNOT PHYSICALLY BRING MYSELF TO REGURGITATE ONE OUNCE OF A SHIT TO GIVE. I JUST CAN'T. MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK ONE OF MY THREE LOVERS, ASSHOLE. HTTPS://FORMS.GLE/OVFZ5WFB924EXOTN9 HTTPS://FILE.GARDEN/AZKPRTTM0CNYBN8T/DIE.PNG #SUGGESTIVE
GOT KINDA DRUNK AND ENDED UP FALLING ASLEEP WITH MY BULGE OUT. REALLY EMBARRASSING SHIT TO WAKE UP TO. THANKFULLY I LIVE ALONE. #SUBSTANCES #NSFW
I am taking poison damage from my headache. Ough. Ough. Ough. -1 -1 -1 -1. This is my silly way of saying it's back.
need to repaint my talons i messed them up #immediately last time
Caressing my stomach like an expecting mother but it's just my distended stomach from the over consumption of fried cheese. #pregnancy #itsanitalian #mamamia
(=^･ｪ･^=)< i purrchased tomeowdachi island and litterally cannot figure out how to make em smeowch what the shit
To be even more brutally honest ive got a bit of an issue going on and im a bit too embarrassed to wake him at this point. (#nsfw)
Hes sleepy!
Its way later than id usually prefer to be up but dirk is still making it impossible for me to sleep proper. All i can really do to entertain myself is refresh the page over and over.
J-man isnt taking any shots because i hyped myself up for the better part of a minute and then looked at his face again and he looked so darn peaceful i really just cant do it!
Dirks a lot more touchy than i ever really anticipated. I mean it isnt an issue or whatever but the dude sure does love holding onto me like some sorta stuffed animal whenever were laying down together and im so friggin hot right now i think i might faint. I feel too bad to tell him to get off me though. I wont get a wink of sleep like this.
i have a fan on full blast pointed directly at myself because i got too hot and my heart rate started going up way too fast. this is miserable. good pots evening.
#traumatuesday my bro is still alive💀💀💀💀🙏🙏🙏🙏💀💀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
Jake has been baking bread for three fucking hours now.
terribly bored.
lot of things i didnt think id ever miss until i stopped being able to do em.
i miss being able to get up and go sit outside. now its more of a hassle than its worth. opening the window doesnt hit the same as sitting on the roof.
need a better fan. this one is loud and broken. or maybe an air conditioner. or maybe to move away and live somewhere impossibly cold for the rest of my life.
i miss my friends a lot. and i love them a lot too
haha im not ok
this fan is completely useless. i am sweating my fucking balls off.
being connected to my aspect in a way that few are other than other versions of myself or... that guy... can get a little much sometimes in the moments i find my mind wandering the unlimited expanse of space unfolds in front of me and i find myself getting lost in its infinity the vast, vast universe and the universe on top of it and beside it and around it and everywhere and nowhere and all of it forever and forever and forever its all so lonely
what are the odds of convincing an extremely vanilla middle aged man who almost certainly would not understand to put a cigarette out on my neck? #nsfw
do not pity me.
this isn't a vent post. this is a statement.
i miss him.
heart palpitations are cruel and unusual.
༻ I've talked to 10 and nothing so far :o( ༺
༻ how many rocks does a girl have to talk to before one starts talking back? ༺
Any advice on how to evict a strider would be lovely. Invited dirk over to hang out but apparently he took it as "come all the way to my house and go to sleep on my bed." Ive been camping out on my floor for the better part of twenty minutes now because hes decided to take my bed hostage! Why even come over at this point? (#suggestive perhaps for certain visible markings. I dont know whats necessary!) https://i.postimg.cc/mgtBHjTH/so-lazy.png
Sometimes ill confuse the unquirk and the block button and accidentally block people which seems like an impossible error to make and i *might* just be a complete doofus.
no wait i did it wrong fuck
UPDATE ON THE EVIL RAT THAT I BOUGHT FROM EBAY!!! IT ESCAPED THE CAGE IT WAS IN!!!! IT MIGHT BE PLOTTING TO KILL ME!!!! BUT WORRY NOT!!! I AM VERY SMART!!! THIS EVIL RAT IS NOT MATCH FOR ME!!!!!
the lioness does not concern herself with the fact that she is sad
sOmEtHiNg i sAiD BrO? @dAvEsTrIdEr hTtPs://cDn.iMgChEsT.CoM/FiLeS/F514747348Fd.pNg
oh yeah i'm really honored that you can't go five seconds without grabbing at me!!!! so stupid.
is it just a strider thing to be a complete perv? so lame. #nsfw
i'm eating my melty room temp ice cream and ignoring the overwhelming embarrassment i feel right now.
dave posting me before i get the chance to post myself. augh so embarrassing.
oh dude you didn't tell me you were gonna post it man!!
sometimes shit is hilarious and sometimes i think too long about how im fucked over for the rest of my life with zero cure and i realize i kinda hate being alive. then i go do the same stupid shit i usually do and i dont think about it until the next time. the cycle.
all i post about anymore is old men and being in poor physical condition. not much that goes on with my life besides be gay and disabled anymore. tragic.
dreading having to get up but a guys got shit to do or whatever. cane feels like it isnt helping much anymore these days.
it's kinda hard to shut up in certain situations dude!! :/
dave's attempt to "wake me up" has left me considerably more exhausted. :( #nsfw
i am so cold but i don't really feel like putting my clothes back on because it's a nightmare for me to sleep clothed. so i'm curled up in a little ball under my blanket instead. :(
been trying to get better at realizing im hungry because ill do shit for hours on end without breaks then suddenly wonder why the hell i feel bad but its not going great yet
i fell asleep and then dave called and woke me up. :(
I Likely Should Have Waited To Post That Until A Public Event Was Not Ongoing But Such Is Life
guess who got sunburned cause they fell asseep outside *asleep
D —> I do not like when the milkshake is mean to the little meatball
Boredom
Interacting with people on here is a bit scary sometimes.
Thinking about having one of those little flavored ice cups because its dreadfully hot out. :(
I am a SWITCH thank you very much and most of the time IM the one topping mister! #nsfw
D--> I am highly distraught by the things I have learned today. Some for...more confusing reasons...than others
Id be inclined to agree due to personal expertise in the field of being jake english but they way this is worded feels a bit like a jab.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/410581e9d2aa.png
*=_-^ w𝔥ats a c𝔥ud? ^=_-'
V^ There is s0mething seri0usly wr0ng with me but I really d0n't have time f0r that. ^V
i don't get how you guys have the confidence to post nsfw on here! i get shy. :( #nsfw (i think?)
i am sooooooo hungry but if i ask my dad for food he's gonna make way too much. :/
i need to break something. or fight with someone or something. keep my brain moving.
i hurt.
✿ was making a smoodie why my blenda blow up
feeling particularly crappy right now. cold towel on my neck isn't enough for the dizziness. i haven't eaten proper in a while, i probably should try soon, but i have no appetite. is everyone tired of me posting about being ill yet?
Ultimate salad showdown (not really) <3 Caesar <> Cobb <3< Greek c3< Caprese
Oh The Face I Just Made Was Absolutely Atrocious #Vagueposting #ExtremelyVagueConsideringIDoNotBelieveAnyoneCanSeeMyNotifications
back in my day, i used to be pretty cool. now im just gay and offputting and dizzy all the time.
cant hardly stand up on my own anymore but using my cane feels way too damn humbling.
5am. eating orange slices and a banana. hearts pounding. beautiful pots morning.
And under beds of water There will lie my eldest daughter She has drifted, and the sea has held her body from decay And the world, she wouldn't let in And she screamed before she leapt in And the sky stems from the ocean I will get to it someday Dear Mother - Cake Bake Betty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZh0VfV8w-A #nowplaying #lyricposting
i am in fact NOT being very brave about it and will whine and complain until i die as is my right
this is some sort of divine punishment for being an awful brother.
im beginning to wonder if a doctors visit might be necessary.
X Hhhhhh want beese churger x
bedridden and sick. cant stop thinking about johns dilf father. do you think these issues have any correlation?
i got the flu or somethin. man.
i am not a homosexual! this is not what i meant!! i wanted the yaoi badge!!!
i keep thinking about that gorgeous man. i need to drink. #substances
no, man. its just out of curiosity. come on.
ill get back to you on that.
does anyone know if johns dad is single? and, if he is, does anyone know if hes interested in men? just out of curiosity.
everytime i try to grow a tomato plant something goes wrong. i've never managed to keep one alive for longer than a week. maybe a crazy wizard's put a spell on me?!
no thanks to you, you little shit.
No one saw fucking anything.
[⚙︎ Ugh I shou|d get food in my body. ⚙︎]
omg i’m so sleepy.
Tiktok makes me so unreasonably upset. I hate you children. Keep making content for me to watch though. I like your edits.
꒰i jusrt spilled my slop everywhere oh my god its over its so over ITS ALL OVER MY HUSKTOP FUCKKKKKK꒱
My four wheel device is coming tomorrow and on one hand it'll 8e gr8 to 8e a8le to go places again 8ut on the other... man, the irony. It stings.