♥ liked by @colonelSassacre
thinking back on it, it's a good thing i didn't have a chittr.ing account in MY 20s. not all of those thoughts needed to be broadcast!
i wonder if there are any evil me's running around? or... oh no... what if i AM the evil me? :o
yowch! feels like i just got with some sort of radiation beam!
hey everybody, john crocker here! before you ask: yes, it's THAT crocker. no, i'm not sponsored. i legally cannot give my opinion on betty crocker brand products without a lawyer present. with that out of the way, uh... gosh! i've never used social networking before. i don't really know what's supposed to go here. let's see uh... i played judge stone on nbc's night court (go check it out!!) and now i do stand up. i'll announce shows on here when they come! i'm almost 40 (yikes!), single, and ready to mingle. (haha wow, that was lame. note to self: remember to write literally anything else here.) bear with me while i try to figure this website stuff out. wish me luck!
oh hell yes i lowve cigs. ill talk about fishy milwves all day vwith you old man.
im alwvays saying this man
*up yo game
takin s)(ots at a target ain’t nobubbly can )(it atp buoy at least up to game 3B-)
oh my god you're colonel sassacre? you have a chittr? how even.
snrk o)( my fuckin cod u goofy pervert c)(ill on t)(e post about yo )(uman daug)(ter buoy
pff, yea t)(at makes moray sense u ol windbag embarrfis)(in im like quadruple yo age n yet never t)(rew out my back t)(o jus sayin
hey wait that's. that's a picture of my nanna.
It - looks - nice >
..eug. )(ow you aint break yo damn back like t)(at i unno 3B-/
)(ttps://64.media.tumblr.com/cedcbfe933d56bba809a04b02141c69a/b1ecf7965942ff3e-63/s1280x1920/604cef087fb2b6eb0703ea15640762bdae012950.png ((cred;frigiddoctoratus))
Baybe, respecfully get dis fugly glubberfucker off mah screen.
☆ Oh fuKK yeah I don’t mind just hold still and we’ll get that going before you Kan even thinK about smoKing it☆
☆ oh Kolonel believe me I’m more than just a sharp shooter, I’m a goddamn prodigy with a bullet. Name a time and a place and I’ll practically light the cigar with my gun☆
☆ anybody wanna let me shoot things off of their head I’m bored as fuKK☆
h/)w i feel enc/)uraging ppl t/) d/) #vi/)lence bc im b/)red https://file.garden/agQ30QzKlhVH5YDa/IMG_8577.jpeg
A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO, I TOOK SOME POLLS TO SEE WHICH PAIRINGS WERE MOST BELOVED BY CHITTR, AND THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED. IN AN EFFORT TO #SUPPORTARTISTS AND FEED THE HUNGRY FUJOSHI AND FUDANSHI ON CHITTR, I HAVE COMMISSIONED ART OF THE WINNING PAIRINGS. HERE IS THE FIRST OF THESE COMMISSIONS. THANK YOU TO @oleanderSupernova FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL #YAOI. https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/13/Troll-sasunaru2.png
//please it would be so fucking funny of him to just do that since old people are just likethat
people love art and do what you want forever!!!
(( seconding this!!
((Perhaps the good Colonel has an appreciation for trolls and wants to draw them as a hobby! After all he married one
(( Could show up to various msparp and draw the events? Though idk how concerned you are about "how did this white guy get on alternia))
//genuinely just have the colonel be like “you seem like an interesting muse can I draw you?” And I’m sure most characters would be thrilled and their muns would also love it
᯽ you two are so cute together. much blessings. :) ᯽
AH!
Now Gordon it's only fair to warn you I'm scared of the color green so as long as I don't see any green I should be fine!
Just one more thing... Ah geez, well I think that is just swell, always nice to meet a fan.
Just one more thing... I didn't know there was another me out there, but I mean, I suppose its a big wide universe and its possible, but golly. I wonder what kinda cases the Earth me gets up to.
Just one more thing... Wow 25 followers, that's a quarter of a hundred followers. Let's see... if we make it to 50, I'll post a selfie
Just one more thing... Oh wow, I am flattered, really. I've got to show this to my matesprite... I mean wow.
... wasn't expecting to be called that today! uh, yeah! yeah though. earth isn't an "echo" of alternia, it is a new thing that has grown and bloomed, but the culture of the world that lead to its creation is everpresent.
yeah, i think earth echoes a lot of what alternia had culturally!
Just one more thing... Listen fellas I'm flattered but I'm not really the kismesis type, I gotta puncha moirails my matesprite is my one and only I don't think I got a hateful bone in my body, pun intended
Just one more thing... When you love whatcha do it don't even feel like work
yo reel talk i aint ever drink nofin from a can dat s)(ip lowclass
An' then the seventh an' final #VessieAMA f'r now...! Another anonymous submission...!! "are you and your boss dating?" Oh-- oh, my... um-- gosh, I dinnae know how t' answer tha'... um-- 'm sure tha'-- there's some flushed feelin's involved, but-- I dinnae know t' what extent and-- hhhhhh @////@
Ehm... since I have the badge...to make it truly official... I would like too make an announcement...that I am apart of @barackObama 's ...electorial cabinet... (^ . ^ ❀) I will be the main...head...of the environmental protection agency....(^ o ^ ❀) My duty....will entail all jurisdiction...that belongs to flora and fauna protection and conservation....as well as offering aid in any eco disasters....(^ . ^ ❀) I will...do my best...to uphold my duty.... and make...this...ehm...planet..?...country..? proud.... (^ o ^ ❀) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/12fcc60fc606.png
yo shout out to the best lusus 1n the ENT1RE mult1verse... love ya t1nkerbull... stra1ght up the dopest human mother a troll could ever ask for... 🤟 https://cdn.1mgchest.com/f1les/a955f632ad80.png
૮ ․ ․ ྀིა that sounds quite fun!૮꒰˶•༝•˶꒱ა ♡ I'd like to go to a party like that! Ი𐑼
https://i.redd.it/68hvec878gtf1.png https://mspabooru.com//images/15/5059565e9af4a4498df6f288472ba325.png?149326 ((@bugFlower, salihombox))
it's ok, you don't have to apologize for something you never had control over. it is not your fault, and i understand.
૮ ․ ․ ྀིა the dress on the right hand side is very pretty and also in my colour! Ი𐑼
oh man. are you why i have hyper hidrosis.
i just wanted tw0 say i'm a huge fan at this transitory and easily missed h0ur i can sweep under the rug later.
huh. you two look happy!
it was, or feels like, a long time ago. its complicated.
Many would consider you quite the lucky man, Colonel.
ENEMY LIST: 1. @colonelSassacre was behind the geese 2. Guy who invented not being able to buy just one egg you have to buy the whole carton 3. Whoever invented eating two spaghetti meals 4. Whoever made coffee more than a dime 5. The geese (conquered)
https://i.postimg.cc/pdFmPCh3/Untitled261-20260426035611.png another cosplay photo!! kakashi this time X)
c< puzzles, cOMplete... iM gONNa gO 4 a walK, tHis sHit Hurt My tHiNKpaN >c
WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS YOU'RE GOING GON MY ENEMIES LIST
)(øly s)(it s)(e can fucking ball.
)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A YOU STILL )(AV-E T)(AT PICTUR-E, OLD MAN? w)(at an amazin day w)(en i got to field in for t)(e lakers back on t)(at eart)(. s)(oulda seen t)(e look on lebron's face. "i know s)(e can cook but i didnt know s)(e could cook on t)(e court, too!" better fuckin believe i can cook on t)(e court, BITC)(
c< HOly sHit sHes fucKiNg balliNg >c
my mac)(inations are perfect. my divinity true. my decisions real. i am t)(e pinnacle, t)(e peak, t)(e ultimate amongst my kind. i am t)(e baddest bitc)( t)(at ever walked. none will ever matc)( w)(at ive done and none ever will.
every day w)(en i wake up from my specialized recuperacoon i am given one low caste troll to absolutely rip apart and do w)(atever i want to t)(em. i treat t)(is as "emotional breakfast" w)(ere i really dont eat so muc)( as i take t)(e time out to get t)(e BLOOD GOING and remind myself w)(at its all about. problem is im on a s)(ip rig)(t now and if i did t)(at to every sinle troll on board, id be out a crew. so t)(e egg)(eads devised a clonin system and c)(ose one arbitrary anoniblood for me to rip apart and clone back every sinle wakin day of t)(eir life. dont know t)(eir name, dont CAR----E t)(eyre my SQU----EAKY TOY AND A BITC)( )(AS TO FUCK IT UPPPPPP
)(ttps://i.imgur.com/rFa8A)(t.png today's mood.
FUCK IT W-----E BALL!!!!
fair enough good luck father also im a trans woman and a lesbian :)
its my brothers birthday and to celebrate im going to hunt him down and hug him.
hello dad :)
sig)(... stuff like t)(ats w)(y i fell in love wit)( ya, ya silly, silly man...
Just one more thing... Hey Chittr, my Brother-In-Law told me I should get one of these and I was like are you kidding Lou, I'm not gonna fit in on this Chittr website, this place is for finding matesprites or somethin', but then he was like Trollbama's on here and I was like wow, a chance to talk to our President well I can't pass that up. So here I am.
Just one more thing... I'll be on da wadda for #fishingfriday
Just one more thing... Told my matesprite I was going to the bank… didn’t tell her which one Happy #fishingfriday folks!
Just one more thing... Got me a bowl of chili mmmmmm just the thing to fix me right up
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 As many of you shall recall, last time I did one of these types of chits, I presented the universe at large with my favorite pair of tits. This time however, I present to you a most stunning and gorgeous pair of boobies. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b588359ac82f.webp #boobies #nsfw #Sula_nebouxii 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 ((OOC I have redacted this post as my understanding of the community rules has changed from when this post was made. Apologies to anyone who was engaged with this. )) 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
> You are one of the top Problem Sleuths in the city. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate. > PS: Create an vaguely OOC introduction pin already! > Your (not often advertised) name is PHIL STERNWOOD and you're as human as can be, though you're located in the Carapacian-locale of MIDNIGHT CITY. Though as an original trailblazer in the field of FRENESTROLOGY you can hit the bricks and be found all across space time from EARTH C to ALTERNIA to the DREAMBUBBLES and everything in-between. As a resident PROBLEM SLEUTH you tend to get up to all sorts of SHENANIGANS and GOINGS-ON. People looking to solicit your services (or solicit in general) can feel free to do so with your DIRECT-MESSAGES always open. You in fact are happy to IN-PERSON ROLEPLAY there or on MXPARP, whichever is more convenient. You're a shameless FLIRT and often make it known to all the dames, but despite your womanizing ways you love a strong independent woman who CAN LITERALLY JUST KILL YOU. Moreover you've picked up a slew of DOMESTIC SKILLS to try and impress and chat with women, from COOKING to FASHION. Lately though, those trolls and their ALLURING HORNS have made you question if your interests are purely DAME FOCUSED or if you're more flexible in your interests. Regardless, clients should expect plenty of # substances in your posts, as well as the occasional # nsfw post here or there. But as a real GENTLEMAN most of your real proclivities will be behind closed doors and nothing too NSFW should be found on your profile itself. > LOOKING FOR A HARD FELLA TO SLEUTH YOUR PROBLEM? THINGS GETTING TO HOT TO HANDLE? NEED A TOUGH STUD TO SORT IT ALL OUT? 1-800-HOT-STUD https://i.postimg.cc/2ShhJ3DZ/sl.png
I've already got 5 missing persons cases. Snoop Dogg gimme power to find these burnouts. https://i.postimg.cc/DZgw04BC/My-Dogg.png
as much as i lloath all versions of allternian empresses, and imperiall dogs in generall, i gotta agree with the olld guy on this one we shoulld be allowed to express tenderness and llove without shame.
. o)( wow
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I am extremely envious of your amazing temperament at each interaction! Best wishes to you both as well -Troll Tom Heeee Hooooo #honk #honk 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
yOU TWO ARE, sO CUTE TOGETHER,
the great may-chan is so right… https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4e369fe1674e.jpeg
No making anyone fall in love, no wishing for more- I mean. I can definitely do the doordash thing, and with regards to your love life... have you talked to her about it? Maybe it's a matter of getting back to why you fell in love in the first place?
/======================================\ || May it be merciful. || || || || || || || \======================================/
I remember this #photo like it was yesternight, HA, daleee. Glad to have your #respect #adoration and #support !!! Much love, daleee
Ayo no one told me about this, I'll be making a statement soon, trust, daleee
YET ANOTHER EXCELLENT DAY TO CHITT ALL OVER THE PLACE! GOOD DAY, MY FELLOW CHITTRERS. SEND POST.
I WAS OUT FOR A LARGE MAJORITY OF THE DAY WORKING ON #SERIOUS #BUSINESS, THOUGH I HAVE RETURNED! I IMAGINE #ERIDANWEEK WENT FANTASTICALLY WITHOUT ANY MAJOR HICCUPS OR PROBLEMS SUCH AS THE HAPPENINGS OF LAST NIGHT, CORRECT? SEND POST.
Life is not a waste a time and time is not a waste of life. So let's stop wasting time and have the time of our life, daleee
not dis fuckin shit again
not in any wave associated wit a certain SOM-EMOBYS cod awful trends #vagueposting
Strapping young men pounding away, you say. Perhaps I will find these young men and provide moral support. These hands were not made for manual labour.
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( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Course I could, Mr. Smokin' Jacket! Might I say that's a mighty fine set of equippables you got on. They tell a story, if you don't mind me spinnin' a yarn to tell it... ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Yain't much of a fighter, are you, mister Sassacre? Pardon my saying. Thumbin' over the outlines of your CHARACTER SHEET 'ere, says you're more of a witty sort. A lover. A loner. The candidness with which ya up 'n hoofy up to a thing like a massive tobacco addiction... ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Makes my belly rumble somethin' fierce! Laughter abounds! You got a dark sense 'o humor. Navigate yer highest highs and lowest lows with humor aplenty...but I can't help but twiddle my touch stump against my lower lip wonderin'... ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < If the secret source o' your humor itself is not joy, or uncaring, but sorrow. There ain't no humor in heaven. And there wasn't but one solitary smile inked into word that knew not the pains 'o heartbreak...just my speculation, sir! Hope I can help ya!
Those wIshIng for comfort must seek out our leader, Peccant Scofflaw.
https://i.imgur.com/lhS4KhR.png 🎲ℂ𝕆ℝ𝔻𝕀𝔸𝕃 𝕄𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕊𝔸𝕃𝕌𝕋𝔸𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ𝕊, 𝔸𝔻𝕍𝔼ℕ𝕋𝔼ℝℝ𝕆ℝ𝕊! 🎲 ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < My name is GYGAAX BHILDR! And I will be your guide on your quest. - I am a level 12 CHAOTIC GOOD OLIVEBLOODED CLERIC with PROFICIENCY in the following skills and/or abilities: Performance, Laughcrobatics, Medisassination, Denature, Insight, Constitution Saving Throws, Wisdom Saving Throws, "Palling Around", Clinical Psychology, FLARP, and Roleplay! I also developed "CAVERNS 'n CULLBEASTS", the robust talk-o-th'tavern Tabletoppling experience everyone's chittering about!!!! ⚔️🛡️𝕃𝕆𝕆𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝔸 ℙ𝔸ℝ𝕋𝕐? 🏹 🗡️ Be it of one, or two, or three, or more!!! I'm able to handle come one, come all! ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < HIP HIP HUZZAH! - Interpersonal quadrant resolution sparring!!! - Self-actualization through CHARACTER SHEETS!!! - Duels "TO THE DEATH" of your insecurities!!! - SPECIALLY equipped to handle Polyquandary of ANY quadrant(s)!!! - Self-improvement, leveling the self, self-attunement! - What humans call "THERAPY"!!!!!! - Hemoanon? Hemonoproblem! We offer signlessly discrete "paling around"!!!! - Caverns 'n Cullbeasts every other dusk each third of the perigee!!! - VVarhammer 400k every other dawn each first of the perigee!!! - Majyyk : The Scattering, Fiduspawn, and Jujuioh on ALL major tourney days!!! - Inquire in DMS!!!!! - And much, much more! Inquire today, and don't be shy! I'm always one of many an outwardly lookin' eye!
DESPITE THE HORRIFIC HAPPENINGS OF THE DAY (#RIPBRUNO, #BRINGGREENMARKHOME) I DID WANT TO PROVIDE MY FULL SPIRITUAL AND LEGITIMATE ENDORSEMENT OF CHITTR TO THE FEED I HAVE BEGUN TO VIEW SO DEARLY. I QUITE ENJOY CHITTING! I HAVE GROWN SO ATTACHED TO THIS FUNNY LITTLE WEBSITE THAT I HAVE BEGUN TO CHITT EVERYWHERE WITHIN MY HOUSEHOLD. I HAVE CHITT IN THE BEDROOM. I HAVE CHITT IN MY STUDY. I HAVE CHITT FROM THE COMFORT OF MY RECLINER. I HAVE CHITT WHILE MAKING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER. I HAVE CHITT IN THE FRONT (AND BACK!) YARD. I HAVE CHITT NEXT TO THE URN OVER MY FIREPLACE. I HAVE EVEN CHITT IN THE BATHROOM, BOTH WHILE ON THE TOILET AND IN THE SHOWER! I AM AN AVID CHITTRER AND I DO NOT INTEND TO STOP ANYTIME SOON. THIS IS ALL VERY #SERIOUS #CHITTNESS. SOON I SUSPECT I WILL BE CHITTING WHILE IN PUBLIC, PERHAPS ON MY NEXT VISIT TO THE GROCERY STORE. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN TO THE STAFF MEMBERS FOR CREATING SUCH A WONDERFUL ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH WE CAN ALL ENJOY EACH OTHER'S CHITTS WITH A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND BELONGING. I LOOK FORWARD TO CHITTING WITH YOU ALL FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. SEND POST.
fat ass bird keeps taking everything from the bird feeder. i leave that out for.the squirrels
can't find family photo for banner.oh well! i have other joys. LOL!
Keep Your Eyes Open Bitch
Mr. Strider now is not the time. Tragedy has struck.
I will send a member of my team to collect you shortly.
can someone come pick me up im kinda scared rn #eridanweek
I am once again in mourning.
TO ANYONE ATTENDING #ERIDANWEEK; I WISH YOU A SAFE TRIP HOME OR IN ANY GENERAL DIRECTION AWAY FROM THE EVENT. SEND POST.
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ @eridanweek threshcutioners are all dead. my god. troll bruno mars is dead. ]
>([guys troll bruno mars just got killed at #eridanweek t#is is really gonna fuck up t#e performance sc#edule #ttps://cdn.imgc#est.com/files/31cd338dfc31.png]
can someone open my juicefuls for me
I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY A TRUSTED INFORMANT ON THE GROUND THAT #ERIDANWEEK DOES IN FACT HAVE NOT ONLY #VIOLENCE BUT #CRIMES OCCURING ON, AROUND, *AND* DURING THE EVENT! I AM IMMENSELY SADDENED BY THIS NEWS AND WOULD LIKE TO WITHDRAW MY ATTEMPT TO INVEST AND MY SPIRITUAL ENDORSEMENT OF THE EVENT. SEND POST.
YOU KNOW WHAT I GOTTA RESPECT THE FIT YOU LOOK TOUGH AS SHIT.
IT HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTE BLAST OF A DAY, BUT IT'S TIME FOR ME TO HAVE MY NIGHTCAP AND REST FOR AN EVEN BETTER DAY TOMORROW. GOODNIGHT FELLOW CHITTRERS. SEND POST.