♦ pitied by @itChy
Ladies, ladies, ONE at a TIME. I CAN'T possibly get to ALL of you. https://i.postimg.cc/NM2Mp5bY/image.png

@TIPSYNEKOGNOSTALGIC HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/4AA463C194AB.PNG I MADE IT MY FUCKING BANNER I COMPLETED THE DARE NOW WHERES MY HOTTED DOG FROM TROLL 7/11, IM STILL WEEPING OVER THE THEFT OF MY HOTTED DOGGERY, WOE BE UPON THE FUCKING HEATED OOBLONG TUBE MEAT THIEF! #SUGGESTIVE??

i think pe0ple forg0t you d0n't need two g0dtier to access classpect abilities. even the g0od 0nes. one pers0n speedruns it then everyone f0rgets there's a whole rest 0f the game between start and finish. can become a bitch and a half p0st-session th0ugh if you didn't start there. me and the chucklefuck brigade didn't bother with them because we were b0rn winners. literally. destined tw0 steamroll the wh0le lousy thing. y0u think even tv is going t0 fuck around with level 0ne wind puff when he could already mindjack any enemy and is 0n a time limit? get real. but it was an 0ption. idk i'm inviting mass 0vercompensati0n so it's g0od thing i'll be ign0ring notificati0ns post cupe. but c0nsider this a #techtip for any0ne in that shitshow wh0 wasn't gifted a perfect run two whack 0ff about 0n antisocial media. the rng is n0t in most's fav0r. i've seen the numbers.

Jesus this cow's gonna kill Itchy

WASN’T ON HERE MUCH TODAY. WHICH, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, PROBABLY GOOD FOR MY IMAGE.
Sorry for not posting all too much. Been a little tied up with things recently.
the phuntr tactical elite force (also known as phuntr'S angels) have successfully completed their mission. thank you to all for helping out

itchy.

~Dude are yu jO~rkin it?? ~#nsfw~

*can* you jork it????? i thought you were a ken doll down there what

right after yoUr boss slapped yoU on the wrist for yoUr indiscretions? ',:U
I am SURE that the cueball is only interested out of MORBID CURIOSITY, because nobody could be interested in ANY sort of trove with you! Or even just a passing, passionate, hate-fueled fling!!! I am so confident I will not even spare it a thought. I will not spend so much as a SECOND more looking at your smug grin. I will not even bother to lock my doors, for nothing at all will occur.

[Jade has crafted a PROMOTION RING!] ===> Equip promotion ring? >[YES!] https://i.postimg.cc/JnV0pZG4/Alternia-20260524-173449-0000.gif

s0mething for the fish tw0 lo0k out f0r i guess #shitpost

We Have Now Collected The Perfect Assortment Of Badges. ♠♣♥♦ ~ Ad. Fae
IT'S OFFICIAL! WE'RE FINALLY DOING IT! https://msparp.chat/thefunfair #THEFUNFAIR https://file.garden/X5nOw-a95myVyjmt/collabsfair-ad-alt.png THE FUNFAIR'S FREE ADMISSIONS DAY IS MAY 30TH THIS YEAR. FOR THOSE WHO'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT COMING BUT WEREN'T SURE, OR WEREN'T THINKING OF COMING AT ALL FOR SOME WEIRD REASON, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! CLAIM YOUR TICKETS NOW. OR JUST TELL THE GUYS AT THE ENTRANCE THAT IT'S FREE ADMISSIONS DAY AND THEY'LL PROBABLY LET YOU IN. WE'VE HAD A LOT OF #COLLABS DONE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN! @mrTenna'S GAMESHOWLLERCOASTER! THE @helloNeighbor EXPERIENCE! THE RECORD-BREAKING SUPERNOVA RIDE, COURTESY OF @regicidalJester! EXPEDITED BY @marthaStewart'S FUNDING SUPPORT! AND ADORNED WITH GREAT MUSICAL TRACKS FROM THE LIKES OF @lovwerBoy, PLUS LIVE PERFORMANCES FROM @amarousChanteuse, @taciturnTypecast AND @monominousSpectre! BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. AND BY 'BE SQUARE' I MEAN I'LL CRUMPLE YOU INTO A CUBE. [∴]
haha itchy and scratchy simpsonsss
i feel filthy THAT SOUL. IS IN MY BODY. if anyone needs me, i will be dry cleaning myself. FOR A LONG TIME.
[thegoodScratchdoctor failed to reach through the typewriter to strangle you]

---------------------------------------- 👁️👁️ ----------------------------------------

Whats up boo
Itchy appreciation post. Leave your comments of appreciation for @itChy here. Personally, I'm still invested in working out who kept screwing him over in Among Us.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⋆﹏𓊝﹏⋆⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ Captain's Log ----------- #journal #viewed-oocly #inperson #narration #gore ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⋆﹏𓊝﹏⋆⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ~ On the 6th~ ------ The air has gone stagnant for many nights. My sources have vanished, either silenced or 8ought out 8y the opposition. It reminds me of the similar price of doing 8usiness on the tides; temporary alliances are never 8uilt to last, 8ut I despise the a8ruptness of this desertion, knowledge now would only 8e of use. Hal speaks of Paradox Space rotting under the influence of the cheru8s overpopul8tion. I sensed the ripple myself when faced with a gathering of Doctors, a surreal mockery of reality to see them all in one room. Certainly, I am safe here, watching over my own reward, 8ut the nature of a re8el, peace always feels like an insult. The old fire of the re8ellion still smolders; I crave the a8solute, righteous destruction of a true conflict. The domestic life is a poor su8stitute for the cold steel of war. Ever desiring to sever a head and display it as a warning upon my 8owsprit, simply to quiet the violence screaming in my own skull. A sparring match with a kismesis cannot sate this; it is too sanitised. The Doctor has sent word, smugly posturing a8out resurrecting a Condescension. He is a fool. If he intends to invite catastrophe, he might at least have the wit to choose a worthier puppet. A legless dog would have more loyalties to lead him to what he seeks than her.
... Might show up at the gala. Might not.
II'm goiing two go have my own party wiith ju2t me. And burger2.

You're sayin' this like I'm going. Also, wrong party.
The la2t few 2tupiid partiie2 II mii22ed, II wa2 glad two have mii22ed giiven what II heard about later. #partiie22uck
@inspectingPickles Stretch asked nicely enough! Be seeing you crazy kids tomorrow! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ea0630d7ab57.png

(°. #bulgesuckingsunday --> #nsfw .°)
I saw Lord English at a grocery store in Midnight City yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “OH. LIKE YOU'RE DOING NOW?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “HUH? HUH? HUH?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “TO PREVENT ANY ELECTRICAL INFETTERENCE,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
WHAT CAN I SAY? I JUST VALUE MY BOYS. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4b69a935e47e.png
I need to not think for a while. I need to lose thinking privileges.
You can simply call me Cueball if you truly need such differentiation.
Look, Itchy. We're trying to find the guy who did this. We're getting to the bottom of this.
I was always a Town of Salem guy anyway. d|:^/
Detective Tip: I'm not mad. Don't put it in the papers that I got mad.
Detective Tip: When a group of gangsters tell you it's going to be "just some light fun and games, no stakes, the alliances don't even matter", they are actually tricking you into an elaborate humiliation ritual.
Detective Tip: Being a good detective does not make you good at Among Us.

Thank you, little "Horrorterrorito".

:o) Dark shoutout to @handMaid for being the only one brave enough :o) To try my freshest, most ferocious strains. :o) Though I suppose. :o) We are two of very lucky few :o) With a few millennia to spare :o) Fucked up on various crazy #substances :o) That don't let you out of their hold. For several days. Or perhaps weeks.

scared
>>| .if your blood pusher pumps harder, .it's .a call to get .out there .and .ask him for .a date. make yourself .unable to sleep for .a whole week.

i know! ive hung out with a few of them. clover's so funny! i was his plus one at that trainwreck of a tea party.

b17ch35 w4n7 m3 #457h3y5hould

Like. Have a crush?
WAIT FuCK I THOuGHT I HIT CANCEL SHIT SHIT SHIT.

just found out he called me a bulge tease to the dead version of me i cant do anything fucking right (tags: The Rankmaid/Vagueposting, #nsfw, archive rating: M)
Pity the poor fool who flirted so bad they's got the whole dashboard clowning on em now.

I got taxes to do.

You're all da same to me. Far as I care, yer all da boss.
i thought we were gonna have drinks and hang out dont you wanna have drinks and hang out
we dont we ask him? @walkstabwalK what is your stance on this matter?
I'm not even gonna bother screenshotting this one. What the hell are you playing at, Itchy?
I guess I should think of a name for the thing now that I'm stuck with him.
Does that mean you'll watch him while I go get shit from the pet store? I wasn't expecting to be adopted by a cat.
[A video is attached. It's in one of the living areas of the Felt Manor, from the perspective of Crowbar. He's is sitting on the couch, the ankle of one leg resting on the knee of the other. He's got a tiny, fluffy white kitten in his lap. He hangs the crowbar on his finger by the curved end, and he makes it spin around like the blades of a fan. The kitten stares intently at the crowbar as it spins around. Crowbar then stops moving his fingers, allowing it to fly up into the air. The kitten wiggles its butt and pounces at the crowbar as it falls. Crowbar catches the eponymous tool, and the kitten lands on the floor, sliding across the polished floor and under the coffee table.]
https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/14/Untitled.png You good, pal?
Ahhh, I see. That makes more sense. I couldn't help but see 12 notifs from the same guy and get suspicious. My bad.
you treat me so good i might cry but in a good way
my 🌈⭐🖤 came and swept me up it turns out i'm just a little bit sad, but he always makes me smile
I HOPED. WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS OBSCENE. IT WOULD BE SOMETHING MORE FUN. THAN A BUNCH OF BLOOD. FOR ME TO WRING OUT OF THE CARPET.
Rapidly 5o~! I'm in danger! :)
It's true, I saw their trails before it happened, you can aaaaalways trust me~
Passing through the main hall glad I'm not Trace right now. Can't imagine how many past trails are left after last night.
Probably nursing his hangover from last night 🤭

if you reply to this chitt, I'll assign a bird to you. ((Ooc: Please do he wvill givwe you a personalized bird :) ))
#feltmanorpsa now that the pool is de-jello'd, and while the cleaners are doing their thing inside, i set up the heat pumps to near-jacuzzi levels so everyone can come wash off their paint. the yellow ink is nooootttt coming out easy in my case but you know, that's fine.
<> I already am.
just got my license suspended for chitting and driving
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2f8040844477.jpg
all the more reason to love my bed
i love my bed and my bed loves me
I think I hate this
what the fucK aRe you some KiNd of aГieN https://sQuidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.BacKBГazeB2.com/2026/03/27/poRtRait2.pNg

Thank you but that does not even remotely answer my question.

Wait. Why did you tag this NSFW.
why does that condensed milk lady hate all my posts??
i mean you shouldn't eat it it hurts the chickens!!!!
Used to swallow those whole.

(^・ω・^) < SURE THING I CAN SHIP ME AND YOU ITCHY!!!!!!!!!TRUST I WILL BE DRAWING THIS!!!
i'm just trying to make my sugarpie feel better omg dramatic

i have n𖦹 idea
#charms last one!!!! pot o' gold, or po'g, is four when you match right up to someone in anythin' you wanna do. it's conspiration, it's a team, it's somebody you can get everything done with faster an' better than anybody else. like you're locked on the same wavelength. it's hard to find, four most, th' kind of guy you can plan anythin' with without clashin'. the kind that has the same ideas as you befoure either of y' have even said it aloud. but when you can make that kind of connection, it's like findin' gold. thanks four listening, and remember, it's not only luck that leads you to love!! :) https://i.ibb.co/d0wGMb5b/image.png

https://i.postimg.cc/50hCwZz5/teenager-pointing-himself-irresolute-young-man-finger-isolated-white-background-34325108.webp
#charms balloons is an endless pursuit! a hunt, even. constantly trying to take each other down from the sky. in balloons there's a lot more *take* than there is *give*, though it stays level as long as both partners can keep up. it's traps and tricks and wantin' to take someone down a notch, take what you want, even though you like 'em. a good balloons keeps y' grounded, and keeps you entertained. i think this is prrrrobably the closest thing we have to 'hate dating', maybe? but i can't imagine hatin' my balloon.... https://i.ibb.co/Gv8QxXnm/image.png
#charms here's the other symbol we share with quadrants! except ours are blue, and also kind of...not to do with 'calming' at all. so, diamonds is the protector charm. you often value your diamond's safety more than your own. you are their guard, you are the person who keeps danger from getting anywhere near them. jus' as long as they don't throw themselves in front o' it tryin' to protect you first. :P an ideal diamonds relationship is one where you both cover four each other's weaknesses! it's honestly a pretty difficult balance to maintain, in my experience. (although that may just be because i personally tend to be the one doing the protecting four *everyone* on account of the whole luck thing...) https://i.ibb.co/r2DSPV6c/image.png
#charms 6/9! i probably should have been numbering these to begin with, but hey, funny number. so horseshoes is basically just, like, awesome. it's the charm just four play and fun, jokes and games an' pranks and puns and all that stuff. it's laughing and messing around and all that jazz. be silly, be a fuckin' dork if you want, or just fuck around. that doesn’t mean serious-type folks can’t or don't engage in it-- it jus’ means that their horseshoe is the person they trust to act looser around. https://i.ibb.co/jkqgPXYq/image.png
i'm crying again but b but it's good?? :''')
i went to the hospital but i did 8 REALLY sick flip out the window 8D
i bleed teal but if itchy adopted Me do i bleed red too now
#charms clovers, (yes, you have no idea how many jokes i put up with, and no, this is not my 'favorite') is more of a wildcard than anythin'. we usually say we're clovers four folks when we know we're feelin' somethin', but we don't got words four it. it's good four, you know, not getting all in a tizzy about boxes that don't fit. once something becomes definable as something else, it's not clovers anymore- but it's pretty common four a clover to *stay* a clover when you find someone who you have a truly unique dynamic with. https://i.ibb.co/LzQLqXSB/image.png
#charms next we have stars. charmmates o' this kind basically hung the stars in the sky, as far as you're concerned. it's sort o' like sayin' you feel like it's a big honor t' be around 'em. pride, admiration, fascination, that sort of stuff. folks end up talkin' up their crush pretty often, or tryin' to impress them a lot, usually. think "starstruck" in your typical slang. it's important to note that a stars relationship can consist of one 'sun' and their orbit, or two leprechauns cheering each other on mutually, but it's always the sun's job to make sure that they're adequately showing off four their partner to continue enjoying being their orbit. https://i.ibb.co/pvXBscgN/image.png
moons's the next up on the #charms board. it's called by that because of how your feelings four a person *wax* and *wane*, like the moon. i think i've seen trolls call it vacillation or something like that, but as far as i can tell the nuance isn't really the same? you can be moons four someone without, like, actually changing charms, although some moons troves do go back and fourth between which of their other charms is particularly the focus, which is fun. it's also used four if someone only has feelings sometimes 'n not others. i'm not so sure about you guys but it's pretty normal four us, i don't see how a lot o' relationships would work out 's well as they do without thinkin' o' moons. https://i.ibb.co/N6WWnZR1/image.png
ahem. anyway, the most alien-friendly of the #charms is hearts. i'm fairly sure you guys' <3 isn't all that different from ours, aside from its associated color bein' pink instead of red. (red's further down the chart.) i'm pretty sure this one don't need much explanation, but. four me, when i'm in hearts with someone, it means...i wanna do everythin' four 'em. i want to be soft four them, and sweet, and all that sappy gushy stuff. i want to be someone that makes 'em feel warm. https://i.ibb.co/Mxjrrzy7/image.png
edit four my pinned: you can see all nine other posts on this subject under the #charms tag! first of all, all #charms are romantic in nature. since not everyone seems to agree on what that means, basically, it just means a relationship with established specific societal expectations. we have nine charms, illustrated in the image below if i know how embedding works, and we typically aim to have three or more charms in an ideal committed relationship, although some people are weird and end up sticking with just the one or two. a relationship involving three or more charms is referred to as a 'trove'. https://i.ibb.co/cc5VNvFT/charms.webp

((kill me i did it again lmfao))

Why so low, 1?
do you think My new dad will get Mad if i M8ke 8 sk8te raMp out My hivesteM window to land on the neighboring roof
OOH I ALREADY HAVE A LUSUS BUT CAN I BE YOUR GRUB TOO I'M REALLY FAST PROMISE
TO THE OTHER FELT MEMBERS HERE: WHATEVER NOISE YOU HEAR LATER. DON’T MIND IT. BUSINESS IS HAPPENING. #NSFW
EXCEPT HE’S MORE. FLABBIER
NOT A MOMMA BUT I CAN DO THE SALSA 👀👀 #NSFW #UP4GRABS #WHOWANTME
my matespr11t just called me and sa11d she wanted t0 break th11ngs 0ff because 11 had a “bad att11tude” and “n0 g00d energy”. l11terally what d0 11 d0 n0w
What the fuck? What the fuck! I'm going to bed, I didn't need to see that.
why did itchy follow me i told him i'll strangle him if he talked to me again
Right. I'm back. Was nice to be away from this cesspool for a while.









































