♠ hated by @draconianDignitary
https://file.garden/acTt5G-lGD3FoE4W/Eggsplosion.png
Oh, so we are discussing types today. Perhaps I will share my type, but it will more than likely turn into a sort of vague post about a certain someone.
He hates me for my whimsy. And because I got his newspaper.
Ah. It seems one of my men has found himself in a positively precarious position. Little does he know, a slim chance of escape is what will greet him. Unless, of course, he were to ask his loving, doting boss for assistance. What say you, @itChy .
needed to meet the insult quota
STOP PITYING AND HATING MY CHITTS AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not say, D. D. Perhaps it is some sort of juvenile prank being played.
Goodness gracious! I think perhaps my paper got mixed up with someone else's. #nsfw https://imgur.com/bHJZunS.png #thegrayladies
CONSTRuCTIVE CRITICISM. BE STRONGER THAN THE WEAK KIND OF. IMPuDENT ASS LOSER. WHO CALLS FOR HELP AND DOESN'T NEED IT. HELP IS SOMETHING. YOu ONLY SCREAM. IN MANuFACTuRED EMERGENCIES. TO LuRE IN A HERO TYPE. TO KILL AND EAT. WHEN YOu DON'T FEEL IN THE MOOD FOR FOOD PREP. IT IS NOT A BuTTON YOu PRESS. EVERY FIVE GODDAMN SECONDS. WHEN YOu ARE SCARED OR uNCOMFORTABLE. DO IT AGAIN IN VAIN. AND I WILL BE COLLECTING YOuR. "THE GREAT". EPHITET. AND EATING IT. IN PLACE OF FOOD PREP. BECAuSE I AM REALLY NOT FEELING IT NOW THAT I MENTION.
y oure all so nOT save for. worky
1 notrhing wrong with me 2 i'm a normaly guy 3 i can enter a space 4 nothing wrong with me
A candid photograph of Itchibold and myself having a polite conversation by the stairs. https://file.garden/acTt5G-lGD3FoE4W/Normal%20Felt/Conversation_on_the_stairs.png
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
YAAAAAAY! EVERYONE CUM THE HELL IN HERE & GET REAL FUCKIN MARRIED ABT IT!!!!! IM GONNA MARRY ERIDAN 2NITE! EVERYONES GONNA MARRY HIM!!!! #ERIDANWEEK #IMCOMING https://msparp.chat/iwwantcandy
Im just here, you know in my bosses grave, hanging.
ⓘ In production, yes. But with recent Developments, we now have even more Ds! Such as, [DS NUTS!]. ... Quiet, you. © SBURB 2009
#eridanweek #horror You find yourself in the same cubicle you've worked for the past ten years in. You find yourself alone in the half lit office building. You are the last individual in the building, everyone else has families at home. You gaze at the CRT Monitor displaying its 600 x 400 resolution. You are comforted by the warm hum radiating from its core. You flit your pupils about your digital workspace, resting on the internet explorer icon. You decide to click it, check a few personal emails. You are invited to a website, chittr.ing, it's called. You see it's created by an Alternian. @dynamicFlowfields You see your standard social media fare when you register. You see pictures of friends and foes of old sharing good tidings. You feel a warmth inside. You however, lose that warmth when you notice a small trend. You saw it every dozen posts or so. #imcoming. You chalked it up to an innuendo. You did not register the warning. You look into it a bit more as it begins to populate your feed. You see #eridanweek, your see #bouncingonit. You see no reason to be worried. You let yourself be comfortable once more. You find yourself reading one of Rankmaid's fictive narratives. @archiveAddict You don't let it excite you too much, you're still at work. You don't give #imcoming much more mind. You don't even realize it's already the second day of #eridanweek. You look at the clock, it is midnight. You wet your eyes with eyedrops, ever handy. You can not seem to turn away just yet. You begin to experience Eridan Week vicariously through the posts. You see the likes of humorous, possibly purely jesting, celebrities from Alternia and Beforus. You notice that nearly ever post of Eridan Week includes #imcoming. You notice that #imcoming slowly turns to #ImComing. You are uneasy from the new threat. You look elsewhere, exploring other tags such as #teatime and catching up with others who aren't involved. You see irrelevant posts to Eridan Week even begin to include #imcoming. You begin to see odd images aghast across your dashboard. You begin to see yourself in images you weren't aware of being taken. You see yourself commenting on posts long since past. You did not write these. You keep seeing it. You even begin to post #imcoming in these retroactive oddities. You assume that this is due to someone mimicking your identity. You attempt to steer conversation on the platform away from it. You hastily type up humor, and romantic posts. You are doing anything you can to drown out #ImComing. You notice it is larger now. #IMCOMING. You select the tag, out of sheer curiosity and perhaps a fear for survival. You need to know who is coming. You. You are coming. You scroll endlessly through the tag. You see yourself on every post. You see your own hollow words. You see your notifications begin to shift. You are bombarded, first, a dozen #IMCOMING Responses. You refresh. You see a hundred. You refresh. You see a thousand. You click one. You see yourself. You click another. You see your own account again. You scroll down your feed. You only see your own account. You see your profile picture, stretched, compressed, tortured, reflected in glass. You do not remember seeing yourself like this before. You try to log out. You fail. You try to close the browser. You fail. You try to shut of the monitor. You are tortured by its continued hum. You step away. You notice the lights are long since turned out. You notice the office is even darker than usual. You see the distant lights of other monitors flicker. You notice a rhythm. You notice a heartbeat. You notice it isn't yours. You look back to the screen. You see #ImComing is #ImHere. You do not remember this post. You do not remember thinking it. You see a live feed open itself. You see your grainy, monochrome cubicle in an old video. You see your chair, your desk. You see yourself. You are not looking at the monitor. You are looking at the camera. You see the image distorting as the alternate self begins to move closer. You see it distort the frame. You hear it. You do not have speakers. You hear it under you, or around you. You hear its cacophony of whispers. You hear it gently say, "I'm here." You see the monitor flicker. You see the camera cut out. You monitor briefly turns out as you lean forward. You see yourself in your own reflection, only behind you. You see chittr.ing return. You see a new post. You see @you. You see an image loading slowly. You clench your nails in anticipation as each line slowly creeps into rendering. You see your cubicle again. You notice it is empty. You aren't even there. You see the caption. #IMHERE You feel something breathing on your neck. You stand up to leave. You see its fingers slowly extend past your peripheral vision. You close your eyes. You shouldn't have stayed.
So that you all remain informed, my title as the Scratch Doctor is not unearned. I in truth do have a PhD. Or rather, every PhD.
hot people on this app, dm me.
:i KNOW I JUST CANT! tHERE IS SOMETHING SO ALLURING ABOUT IT:
:i AM HAVING A PRETTY DIFFICULT TIME IGNORING THIS POST SORRY:
I didn't make you type anything. You just like talking to me. Many such cases.
The circus continues infiltrating Chittr.
The toilet alfredo wasn't an April Fools joke by the way. Prison food is absolute shit and I ain't lettin myself be subjected to it
Maybe you should reach out to the head of your PR team. I'm sure Slick would have plenty of ideas.
i think the ants are unionizing.
No, you're obviously obsessed with me.
this is why we dont broadcast our doings in real time
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/2357760b1898.png ??? @tendriltheurgist
ungrateful much?
Daily reminder. I'm alive, I'm the boss, and yall suck major ass.
be thankful i even have the notion.
i do feel a bit bad but not bad enough to come over and get you. i'm having a drink right now. if you're still there when i'm finished i may consider helping.
#spadesslickweek #getittrending
some of us have lives outside of chittr, droog. i'll have you know i was very busy.
hold on let me come find where youre being held so i can stand there with my phone in hand chittring to you instead of talking
Some of you clearly don't own a Betty Crocker airfryer.
I AM A MAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO EAT. GET IN MY DMS. #NSFW
YER DOCTOR SAID TO LAY OFF THE CAFFEINE YOU SLIM FUCK.
"behind closet doors" rankmaid-sensei (tags: Crowbar/Diamonds Droog, hidden sex, #nsfw, #violence, pitchfling, pitchfic, dont get caught, thats what youre for diamonds, top vs top, m/m, archive rating: E) summary: droog and seven mysteriously go missing during a party multiple anonymous requesters droogs lips travelled up crowbars neck feverishly, their bodies crushed tightly to one another in the small manor closet he huffed out a trembling groan between soft inhales, memorizing allspice and sandalwood clinging to number 7s fuzz "i dont have much time," droog mumbled quickly, hands working at the bright green belt that kept crowbar away from him "you never needed that much time before," crowbar groaned with a frustrating laugh, earning a rough shove from droog that sent the felt member slamming into the wall their lips crashed together in a hasty dance, crowbar letting out a small hiss of approval from his gills towards the sound of rustling fabric and the feeling of droogs hands reaching down between their middles "are you even listening to me? i know you have difficulty understanding directions, so ill say it slow: *turn around,*" droog said impatiently, pulling back a bridge of sticky saliva still connected to the thickness of sevens pale tongue as the kiss broke "fuck you mean turn around? *you* turn your ass around," seven shoved back, causing droogs body to freeze and his gaze to tear upwards "what did you just say?" the sounds in the closet turned from hushed moans to rabid barks, fragile items stored away with them shattering on the ground and being knocked over a few punches later, droog was on the ground with his body forced downwards a cheek pressed hard into the well-polished marble by a bright green hand on the back of his head, droogs knees holding his lower half up to meet perfectly with crowbars hips he felt a clothed grind and just near bit his own tongue off droog needed a cigarette "stopped fighting so soon, must wanna take it tonight," seven muttered smugly, bright red staining his mouth as his other hand drew droogs hips tighter to his front "go fuck yourself," droog snarled back, vision flashing white as he received a sharp crack to the back of the head "thats what youre for, diamonds" droog really needed a fucking cigarette ◆7◆ clovers adorable little body skidded to a stop hed been sent out to find just where seven scurried off to! the boss wanted everyone at the party to be on their best behaviors, and skulking around was certainly not best behavior "seven! are you in there? youre needed back at the party pronto!" clover called out curiously, knocking on the door a shaking voice called out from the other side "yeah, yeah i-im... fucking... c-cu–... coming." 7◆7 notes: kyaaa the party was so fun! im so glad i was able to go and i hope another is hosted soon! chitfic unrelated
Although it would seem several of you are disappointed in @itChy’s survival, I hope I can offer you some small reassurance in that from the point of view of a near-omniscient, his death has already occurred at the preordained time. Therefore, you may feel free to continue your celebrations or grief as you see fit.
BREAKING NEWS!!! FELT MEMBER @itChy MIGHT SADLY NOT BE DEAD. INDEPENDENT REPORTS SAY HE WAS JUST SLEEPING. STAY TUNNED
it's not my goddamn fault, droog. people cant think for themselves nowadays.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1bd484281a77.jpg #pissgate
as the father of #pissgate i am prohibiting it's continuity. shut the fuck up. all of you.
#pissgate is trending again yes yes yyes yeysyesy esy es yes (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, #nsfw, #nsfwe, hold it, archive rating: P)
DOC SCRATCH SAYS YOU HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME
Yeah we can do #pissgate again. I'll fucking piss on everything The Crew owns, watch me.
going to use the bathroom for a reasonable but unspecific amount of time. #nopissgate
i'm "mogging" (?) you all with my kull score. eat shit. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3f5cc6cd6d1b.png
give to ♯penny
i am better by an inch
It has come to my attention that some of you have begun to interpret my responses as… intrusive. An understandable concern. Allow me to clarify. I am not inserting myself where I do not belong. Nor am I “targeting” anyone with undue attention. That would suggest a level of intent that isn’t particularly relevant here. I am simply acknowledging what is already present. Your posts, your remarks, your… expressions of self. Each one is a small confirmation. A signal that you continue to occupy the space you have found yourselves in. I respond to those signals. Not to alter them. Not to interrupt them. Certainly not to overwhelm them. Only to recognize that they have occurred. You may think of it as observation, if you prefer. Or, if that feels too distant... appreciation. After all, continued existence, especially when made visible, is something worth acknowledging. I would hardly ignore it.
I drank too much at #teatime and I DONT REGRET IT. FUCK AM I STILL WASTED. THAT SHIT WAS BONKERS.
Hm. I think I'll make this picture my new wallpaper. #teatime
#teatime rankmaid is here!!!!
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/868f460e5f3f.jpg
An Invitation It has come to my attention that a number of you have taken a rather keen interest in my presence here. Your attention has been… consistent. Admirable, even. As such, I find it only appropriate to extend a courtesy. You are hereby invited to a small gathering at Felt Manor. Nothing so vulgar as a spectacle, I assure you. Merely an afternoon engagement. Tea will be served. Conversation, should you prove capable of it, will be accommodated. Attendance is, of course, optional. Though I find that those who decline often arrive regardless. --- **Directions** You will not find Felt Manor by searching for it. Instead, you will proceed as follows: At a moment of your choosing, close your current application. Do not rush this step. Timing, as ever, is important. When next you find yourself alone, locate the nearest reflective surface. A screen will suffice. So will a window, provided the lighting is adequate. Observe your own reflection. Remain there longer than is comfortable. At some point—precisely when you begin to suspect nothing will happen—you will notice that something already has. A door will be present behind you. You may turn around if you wish. It will not affect the outcome. Enter. --- I would advise punctuality. The tea will not grow cold, but your opportunity to attend is… less accommodating. I look forward to your arrival. After all, You have already decided to come. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/eecee7108e42.jpg
A mistake made in my unfamiliarity with this particular platform. As you understand, my typing methodology is a typewriter. Even here, mistakes may not be reversed. This is an ever present constant across timelines, displays, and eventualities. I do not seek your forgiveness for not typing your name in correctly. You are a small chapter in anyone's life.
I think being based in a troll session has done something to my alts
concept: laying on the ground post-brawl as you try to come to your senses, your vision blurry and body in agony looking up as the reason for your pain pants tiredly and drops their weapon to the ground, using their boot to tap roughly at your inner thighs to spread your legs "...did you fucking piss yourself, y/n?" they laugh, the bottom of their boot pressing down into your warm crotch (tags: Reader/Rival, unmentioned quad, unmentioned charms, vague pitchfic, #pissgate, #nsfw, #nsfwe, #violence, trending topics, boots, archive rating: E)
concept: thrusting your hips harder against your leprechaun kismesiss face just to feel the vibrations of their panicked croaks around you in their throat (tags: Reader/Leprechaun, kismesissitude mention, pitchfic, oral, charmless, alien anatomy, purring vs croaking, #nsfw, top reader, dom reader, archive rating: E)
Ayooo. Got all the speakers rigged without anyone seeing me. Time to ruin lunch. #nowplaying https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hAWRu2FbXQM&si=8uMgmb_May7NN52a At MAX VOLUME.
I abs€ond for one day to attend a €onvention and you €reatures laun€h a smear €ampaign against my favourite mutual. #IStandWith€ro€ker
Nothing. It's all libel. My legal team is working on it presently.
They say all press is good press.
Some bitches might call me desperate. But I can't help by being a hot mother fucker. I also fucked your mom. #nsfw
0607 MORE LIKE 0106 AMIRIGHT @sixpinsImpaled
Ayo, where my home boys at? Rizz me up.
oh no i think that means stitch is going to get me doesn't it?
CHITTR SHADY FACT #21 • “y’all might be confused but 01 is actually the leader of both the felt and the crew. setting the record straight here.”
you know you can just get another one, yeah?
oh come on, it's a bit of fun.
CHITTR SHADY FACT #16 • “it’s so obvious spades and diamonds are in some odd kismesis/moiraillegiance type thing. just kiss already lmao”
hey at least i'm actually solving the problem. no need to go running off again, okay?
Nae.
first of all we arent even romantically involved. second of all it was a dramatised tantrum.
STEPOFFWEHAVESOMETHINGSPECIALANDYOURERUININGIT.
this is the best day of my life.
Literally anything else.
c𖦹ngratulati𖦹ns 𖦹n y𖦹ur successful repr𖦹ducti𖦹n
fuck you droog.
oh for gods sake. shut this shit down. you just wanna be me.
why are people debating over milfness and dilfness??
don't get used to it.
droog we need to talk. stop ignoring my calls.
you are a fucking traitor and a cheat.
it was your goddamn responsibility to find the documents in the first place you fucking idiot. doesn't give you an excuse to leave us all in the dust like a wriggler having a tantrum.
d strider saw my callout post. it's over for you droog.
respond to my chits.
hate another one of my chits again diamonds, i dare you. i'll do some reckless shit with snow tonight.
droog stop hating my chits and talk to me like a man.
the entire crew isn't breaking up, nobody's getting divorced. droog is just being a fucking bum.
leave aradia.
diamonds droog is a bitch ass motherfucker.
good. don't come back with that attitude.
well i fucking do. i just said we aren't being evicted so, ergo, we aren't.
fuck you piece of shit.
i fucking hate my crew.
disco become elysium
If you have ever hated any of my posts, or Chits, you automatically find me irresistible and charming. It is simply a law of the universe.
"⠀" trollbama stood frozen. "p-... peanut. we cant do this again. you keep giving me the run around. i try to communicate, i try to show you fun, i try to support you, and how am i repayed? you wish death upon me? you think im a terrible president? i sent my daves after you. my daves, peanut." "⠀" trollbama gritted his teeth, tears stinging his eyes. he set his jaw and turned away, breaking eye contact for a moment before looking back at peanuts looming concrete and rebar body before the scraping could continue. trollbama let out a bitter laugh. "that damn scraping." trollbama muttered, rubbing a hand over his eyes languidly. what would he have to do to prove himself? he was a good president. he *knew* he was a good president. trollbama took the first step, oxfords stumbling slightly. how many time's would he have to be the one to take the first step when it came to peanut? "an agreement. i want an agreement." "⠀" trollbama slowly placed one hand in his navy suit pants pocket, the fine cut accentuating the length of his legs as he stood in front of the scp. he nodded his head slowly. "whatever you need, peanut. i want to be the one to give it to you. ive been thinking about you when i shouldnt and-... i've taught you so much, havent i? ive seen what youre capable of. we can start over. you and me. barak trollbama and peanut. i-... i want you to be my vp, peanut. my vice peanut." trollbama lead his hand over peanut's bulbous body, upwards to hold a gentle touch and glide his thumb slowly over his cheek-like-area. he traced further inwards to the place where he'd longed to place his lips for so long, dragging a smooth line over the slit running vertically over peanuts visage. trollbama pulled his hand back slowly, bringing his thumb to his lips to suck at the taste. peanut didnt move. now he was the one who was frozen. (tags: Barak Trollbama/Peanut, troll/monster, forbidden romance, toxic dependency, miscommunication, yearning, #nsfw, vague quad, multichapter, presidential mention, archive rating: M)
There's a special mood in the air tonight perhaps its a ❤️🌙🌈 or a 💎🎈⭐?
Who left their tap shoes in here! GROSS! #NSFW #NSFWbutonlyifyourealeprechaun
i've taken up the task of attempting to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes at once. yes all twenty will go in my mouth. yes i will take the pack from droog. no i won't replace it.
shut the fuck up diamonds, surely you have something better to do than trawl chittr.
https://i.imgur.com/qltemR4.png Serendipity.
sometimes when i get bored, i pour hot tar on karkat and he screams loud as fuck.
oh sweet jesus enough with this horseshit on main.
Chill is my middle name, in fact I'm so fucking Chill I'm going at Mach 4 today.
Another evening of entertainment. This poisoned popcorn is delicious.
some sage wvisdom: if the vworld seems to hate you, you knovw youre doing something right. youre a disruptor, and small-panned people hate disruptors for disrupting their small status quo
kismesis applications closed. i have freaks in my dms.
you still will regardless of what you say.
WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.
fuck it, all of your cars are getting blown up. fuck you all its the troubles all over again.
i'd recommend you do that.
ARE YOu STILL FuCKING HERE? YOu INCOMPETENT INGRATE. GET OuT OF HERE. GO GET A NEW ACCOuNT. SHOO. SHOO. WE ARE DISCuSSING MATTERS. FAR MORE IMPORTANT. THAN YOu.
:33< MEOW NATION RISE UP!
Oh, no, the Young Master will always come out on top. His is the best, unequivocally.
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ https://file.garden/ZaNs35zqMBk7KeGf/caliborn.png my source. um. cant say anyone......... @undyingUmbrage ]
well you should have shouldn't you? fucking wonderful droog. amazing.
FOOD.
haha "food". they should call you dyslexic droog.
just wasted about ten seconds of time you could have spent doing something useful.
excuses, excuses. come back to me when you aren't surrounding yourself with upperclass swill. am i too good for you? probably. shame on you, diamonds.
WHAT!? HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT HATSUNE MIKU IS BLUE WHICH IS LIKE GREEN WHICH IS A COLOR I LIKE WHY WOULD YOU BE MEAN TO HER WHATT THE FUCK MAN!
wat if six sevens asked \\
WHAT WILL Y0U D0 IF F0UR M0RE SEVENS ASK (THIS IS IMP0RTANT INF0RMATI0N) 🐺
EXPANDING MY POSSE OF BITCHES. HOO HOO HOO. AS EXPECTED. THIRSTY DESPERATE BITCHES, ARE DESPERATE TO JOIN THE FELT. HAA HAA HAA. INQUIRE NOW. BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!
yes gain his confidence
but its so pretty!
i have bad news, im going to eventually forget you said that and say it again
Got a drink for ya right here https://i.imgur.com/KpBWna7.jpeg
im seeing double. 4 droogs??
She gas on my lean until I
you speak for every dersite ever cloned forever. what's the best kind of oatmeal?
☆ energy drinks are more space effiicient, convenient and refreshing
Yet another place to survey behavior.
Seconding your friend's request. Geriatric Homes, fear me.
=^owo^= My... "friend" would like to ask if there are any older men on this platform.
I read zat az bald and vaz bout to azk iv I could rub zier head and get zhree vizhez
Zhe pull on my zhlock till I neverending zcroll