♦ pitied by @caliginousCalix
Shopping trip. #BettyCrocker #Reup #NeedMyMix #Yummers!
Let's all ignoore that the huge chunk oof whatever is wroong with me is the same oone persoon's fault
Came too realizatioon i might be intoo gunplay it's all leading up too the pooint when yoou can't hurt me withoout making me hard in the proocess i'm goonna be truly invincible
i am THRILLED to announce the opening of the botanics of earth-c quantum uranium enrichment research and laboratories, also known as the becquerel center!!! this is just the first step in creating a sanctuary for the botanical life that can be found all over our wonderful planet, and the first step in our multi-pronged educational outreach program!!! keep tuned for more announcements and events in the future as we continue to expand!!! #earthc #botanicalgarden #scientificoutreach #educationaloutreach
+ Fleet recruits these d*ys re*lly *ren't wh*t they used tx be. =
The Worst Thing That's Happened Tonight Is That I Think I Saw A Troll Named After A League Of Legends Term. #chills #genuinefear
I am not nearly on my 'wizard shit' as much as I should be.
Calling you psycho the way that you're desperate, Scribbling proclamations like an illiterate text-wit. Shit was clipped out of context? Bitch, quit grasping at straws, She won't step on your face, but I'll enforce some laws. You think she's your purpose, your sole reason for life? You're just a cog in the system, perpetual victim of strife. Weeping bodily fluids like they're bars in the sand, While we're out here running empires you can't comprehend. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest of all? A total non-entity tryna play ball. Read, reread the garbage you vent in and out of the feed, See you’re a footnote in history for anyone's heed. Sucker for attention, can't think beyond your erection, All for a friend of a friend, no preestablished connection. You're kicking it solo, forever a clone, An absolute nobody wasting time on his phone. Dave's playing fuckin' ball? You do got that legacy, But the way your shit's twisted is downright fuckin' heresy. Get my knob off your mind, drop the text that you signed, You’re swinging out of your league and getting aligned. Quoting anime at me? Let's check back into reality, Your fragile mentality can't face my brutality. Your game is already dead, no head, no crown, Just a supplementary Strider acting like a clown.
the matesprits not gonna llike this...
It's a bit sad that I have to set the violin down for a while. I was hoping that could help me feel a little more productive.
@carbolicGalvanologist I would be remiss not to deliver upon my promise to celebrate your presence in my life- in the only dark, earthy tones that seem to proportionately convey my appreciation. Behold. I have named her The Bogtrotter. Twenty-four layers and ten inches in diameter. Roughly the weight of a rotund first-grader. Old Bruce himself could not have served you better if he'd been liquefied and baked into a juvenile diabetic puck. Happy Wriggling Day, KV. From your pal. :B
I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're watching old Youtube for the next six hours. Excluding official music videos, but including noteworthy brand advertisements. Justin Beiber's Baby is out. Rebecca Black's Friday is in. Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" is a-go. We have a sensible bouquet of Key of Awesome, The Gregory Brothers, and the RESPECTABLE Lonely Island skits. The old ones, with the homemade aesthetic. We have a thirty minute block of talking and/or emoting baby videos, followed by an Annoying Orange "Wazzup" palate cleanser, immediately followed by thirty more minutes of various cat videos. Nyan Cat falls under the animated chapter of the docket rather than the feline, for what I hope are obvious reasons. We then have a full hour of adult men angrily reviewing various pieces of media AND/OR ragequitting from a game. I like to mix my unjustifiable tirades with full-blown meltdowns for variety. From there we dive headfirst into the animation section. I've compiled a Llamas with Hats extended edit, amongst others. Then I say we cut a left to comedic skit dub-overs, culminating in The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Then onto the bloopers. We have a SUPERCUT of various gaffes and boners ranging from popular cinematic works to voice-acting to news reels. Our musical outro will be the DJ Earworm United State of Pop 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 in that order. THEN if you're still feeling froggy, we can pivot to old-school brawling videos caught on tape, from your phone, under the blankets. You will have to hold the phone up. And then sex I guess. #NSFW.
Some patients can't 8e saved, 8ut that 8urden's not on you........ #auto8iographical #lightempath theantlers #lyricposting #rel8tionships
Considering #RumbleNight never came to full fruition, there's no harm in posting one or two of the early promotional photos.
SERKET REVIEWS: PROJECT ZOM8OID 8y THE INDIE STONE For my first installment of reviews, I chose to start playing a game in Karkat’s li8rary that had 8arely seen even an hour of playtime. At time of writing, I’ve gone WELL over the two hour threshold for refunds. Hopefully Karkat doesn’t mind, 8ecause I can tell this is going to 8e a game that sucks me in! Instead of 8eing the typical d8ting sim, lifestyle sim, or occasional looter shooter that is common to his li8rary, this game is user-descri8ed as an open world survival sim. I chose to dive into it without much research, and ignored the multiplayer function to 8etter immerse myself in the survival mechanics. This was the o8vious correct choice. The game opens to a haunting screen of a man cradling his m8tesprit closely, clearly attempting to comfort her as she is 8andaged and injured in the splash art. There’s a swell of dramatic music, and then thunder claps, lightning flashes, and you see the gruesome truth of the scene revealed as an ela8or8te ruse!!!!!!!! The man is ACTUALLY tearing at the flesh of his lifeless partner, who has yet to rise in undeath to join him in eternal hunger. That is essentially the entire tone of this game. You may not realize it, looking at the cute trash-gru88er8east mascot, 8ut dreariness and loneliness are the main experience, 8eyond the dread of the undead hordes slowly closing in around you. Zom8oid is a game that promises to punish the slightest misstep, and such punishment can very quickly send you into a tailspin of utter desol8tion. My first attempt at the game (post the ro8ust and informative tutorial, of course) was thwarted 8y a 8roken window lock! Had I 8een a8le to pull open the window to make my escape, I likely would have lasted several more in-game days. As it was, I was forced to start over and try again, this time a touch more cautiously. The first area where real mistakes can 8e made are in the character cre8tor screen. There’s a ton of options for how to kneecap your character from the get go, ranging from things to challenge yourself with, and work around, such as 8eing underweight or hard of hearing, all the way to the truly formida8le illiteracy tr8t, which makes it completely impossi8le to 8oost level growth 8y reading skill manuals. If you choose to 8e illter8te, and don’t know how to oper8 generators, you’re shit out of luck when the power goes out! 8etter hope you like to camp!!!!!!!! Taking positive attri8utes su8tracts points from your character sheet, while taking negatives adds them 8ack. I think it is a very 8alanced system that challenges you to take weaknesses that you can grow your character out of, such as 8eing unfit, overweight, or overall weak. Practicing fitness routines while not escaping from zom8ie assaults will eventually pay off, as you gain muscle and agility, just like real life! Food and rest are also required, much like real life. The nutritional system is fairly ro8ust, 8ut pretty punishing, though it does do an incredi8le jo8 of accounting for physical exertion for food and sleep needs. Your character can also 8ecome 8ored, or even depressed, which means a variety of food and entertainment experiences (such as 8ooks or tv shows) are required to stave off the inner demons of the zom8iod apocalypse. It’s rare to see a survival simul8tion take into account the needs of the mind and soul as well as the needs of the 8ody! There’s also a very ela8or8te crafting system, including the possi8ility to craft your own hive from scratch, crafting weapons and gear, and repairing or cr8ting your very own clothing and armor to fend off the hordes with. Each of these systems dovetail together to make an awesomely in depth and challenging game that somehow doesn’t start to feel like an organiz8tion sim until you’ve 8een playing the same save for several nights str8! As for gameplay, there are myriads of options to customize and tailor the experience to your desires. If you’re more interested in a relaxed approach, may8e a focus on the ranching and farming portions of the gameplay loop would 8e more your speed. If you find yourself a god among zom8oid slayers, perhaps you’d prefer to try the challenge options? And, like I mentioned 8efore, there IS a solid multiplayer 8ase out there, though I haven’t personally delved into that area of play yet. All in all, a solid 8/10. There are still game 8r8king 8ugs to 8e found AAAAAAAAALL over the place, which is crazy for a game that’s 8een in development for 6.9 sweeps! That’s 15 years for you humans out there, 8tw. Appar8ntly someone even stole the hard drive that had the early game stored on it, forcing them to start over completely once. Crazy stuff! 8eyond a little 8it of gameplay jank, there’s not much I feel compelled to complain a8out with this title, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to play solo survival games with huge maps and challenging scenarios. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/037caf4ea2c2.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f9f16c7a888c.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/66acc553d388.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3aa94372518d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/38c1d94ea15d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/44618803912e.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/37287d796296.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6da84e0e119a.png #serketreviews #nsfw #gore
▼sitting in a shitty cafe sipping shitty tea having a shitty time on a date this girl has the edge of a fucking circle▲
https://forms.gle/2w9FseGAoHseZEcN7 QUESTION: So you have the apple bottom jeans? Perhaps some boots with the fur to go along with them? And have you ever gotten "low" while wearing them? ANSWER: I did promise to deliver. Pardon me if I retain my vertical integrity on camera, though. I won't be getting "low" on demand.
Much of Uesugi Karkat's early life is completely unknown. Due to his total hemoanonymity over the many sweeps of his time in East Alternia, it cannot be deduced what province, prefecture, or continent he hailed from before his sudden arrival in Trollshiwara, the famous red light district of Troll Edo. What remains consistent is this — he arrived as a foreigner who did not speak the language, seemingly fallen out of the sky and into the cart of a local brothel owner. The owner was purportedly so taken with his boyish beauty and gap moe tsundere personality that he immediately set him to work as a courtesan within his business. It was here that Uesugi Karkat was first referred to by his East Alternian title, the AKATSUKI. Under the strict tutelage of the other courtesans, he learned to dance, sing, play music, pour tea with delicately trembling wrists, feign laughter at unfunny jokes, and weaponize the nape of his nugstalk in the way that an anglerfish lures its prey into its abyssal maw. However, accounts from the other brothel workers say that he was too ornery and foul-mouthed to do any of these things without erupting with rage. He did, however, learn the local language with surprising acuity, and the courtesans were deeply impressed with his natural propensity for writing romantic long-form poetry. Furthermore, rather than selling his concupiscent services as a low-ranking courtesan was expected to, the Akatsuki was supposedly so renowned for his talents as a pale quadrant advisor and ashen mediator that guests of some of the highest castes in Troll Edo sought him out solely for his comfort and advice. No information on the Akatsuki's hemocaste could be discerned during this time, due to never once shedding his genetic material with any customer or courtesan alike. In fact, so preternatural was his ability to touch the pusher of a customer without ever shedding his kimono that within three sweeps, he had already reached the prestigious rank among courtesans of a Boiran (boy oiran), which offered him considerable wealth and empowered him with the right to turn away any offer made in poor taste, even if they were of a higher-blooded caste. It was due to this prestige that he was later discovered by his next wealthy benefactor, who was the leader of a troupe of Grubuki actors, and began his next career as the ONNAGATA. Attached is one of the most popularly sold woodblock-print wall scrolls of his likeness, titled "Delicious Fucking Shit," for the ambiguity of its referral to either the grub-tempura or the courtesan himself. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/17e0aad9aa46.png #uesugikarkat
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૮₍⑅´꒳`₎ა deli(V)ery⁀update! please⁀tape⁀your⁀boxes⁀carefully. i⁀do⁀not⁀know⁀who's⁀fake⁀bulge⁀collection⁀this⁀is⁀but⁀it⁀is⁀now⁀all⁀o(V)er⁀the⁀ground! #nsfw
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
What is this. Who sent this to me. What does it even mean. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c85d6579cb53.png
Unreal Heiress, play Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.
I hear the pleas of the masses. But the solution here is NOT more wanton violence. No matter how you may strike this miserable starving poonhound, you will not deter him from the table! ... There is only one weapon left in my artillery. A single lethal projectile by which to silence this fool.
THANK you, Cronus. This goes to show you that no one is beyond education. ... Is something burning? OH, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.
... :(
Just get off my post.
Crockercorp. One word, you disappointing fucking dullard. Also- the "BOARD OF DIRECTORS?" What reality are YOU dwelling under the funk of wherein OUR namesake corporation is run by ANYTHING other than our own private equity? You haven't bought back your own fucking stock? The bootstraps are for PULLING ONESELF UPWAYS, not tangling around your own gullet like an unobserved toddler stumbling into the window shades! :B But let us be quite frank with ourselves, shall we? You are cognitively ROTTING under the yoke of that contraption. You will never aspire to anything greater than burrowing mouth-first into your empress' shoe leather like a rat trying to find fresh air. And good gravy, that is ok! I have now thoroughly observed you. Beneath the heel of a more intelligent superior is precisely your niche, Jane. Hold on tight to that shelter, because we can all see VERY APPARENTLY that you do not have the chops for upper management.
An official statement on my rendezvous with @aeneasCaldarium. He joined me at the Crocker estate for supper, and we had a long, civil adult discussion on the subjects he erroneously ascribed to MY person in his sloppy pursuit of my alternates. I took great care to wipe that slate clean and to reeducate him (VERBALLY) on the state of my interests and endeavors. He was... more than receptive to my revisions. :| Then he left! I wholeheartedly accept the apology and corrected statement that followed. And that is all she wrote, buster!
Regrettably.
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
... Thank you.
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
I know we don't always get along. Like when I forgot to bring your favorite toXic waste. Or when you crushed my first two-wheeled travel apparatus with your large body. Or when you accidentally ate my favorite pair of Slewboutins. But I'm thankful for you, nonetheless. I won't belabor the sentimentality, as I know we'd both rather be flayed and dunked into hot oil. Happy #LususDay, dumpmother. I hope you enjoy your gift. #LususReveal #MyLusus https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7500b3ad0dfc.png - MC Oleana
Still mad
Sh.o°uld be implied really but that might alm.o°st d.o° it but there w.o°uld still be a way f.o°und I am sure
I get it. It's hard out here for us #Girlbosses. - MC Oleana
D.o° I need t.o° put a b.o°w .o°n my ic.o°n is that it
#truthimpact #truthsplosion #doubletruthreacharound
Ugh. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath. So, fine. I suppose I can no longer deny you. Get me to 10k Kult, and I'll post #NSFW of myself. I've already booked a photorturegrapher for the occasion. #Girlboss #WomenInSTEM #WomenOutOfPocket - MC Oleana
Nobody's died yet :/
☆ great now I'm babysitting at the gala when i should be sneaKing wallets outta poKKets☆
𝓣𝓸 𝔀𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓷, I just heard Mr. Ozatap's palmhusk notification chime go off at least 20 times. ~ 𝓜𝓼. 𝓢𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽
▲I swear I gotta work overtime just to make sure wanshi doesnt get access to ao3 and look up solider purrbeast fanfictions▼ ▲much as I hate that brat im not gonna let her go down that path▼
it seems ive ♯spoiled ♯mylusus with ♯toomanysweets & not enough ♯detritus / ♯they are ♯craving the ♯mapledonuts again ♯....
// i'm sorry for keeping up with political posts on this homestuck rp site i just wanted to say that I'm so fucking tired of seeing everyone generally positive attitude towards russia and it's culture like it genuinely makes me frustrated as someone who can fucking die like any other day thanks to this country
one of them gets to have sex the other one is a lolmoobeast this sucks
It is times llike this that make you want to start a second rebellion all over again. But it is not my Allternia, and not my llifetime.