♥ liked by @gardenGnostic
"wwwwonderful slippery thing" is wwwwhat i call an eel
alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted to do the propaganda for her, so here you go. #nsfwv. #nsfc too, but not the c youre thinking of. "its ya boy eridan ampora here vwith a guest rewvievw on alternias biggest caked up baddie our leadin broad in the beam for #cronusbabeoff hovwre all likin my vwintage hic edition penthouse by the wvay pretty groowvy huh cost me a pretty caegar but it wvas totally wvorth it an yknowv its the real deal too cause its got her signature shade a coral pink semi gloss #2 stamped across the covwer wvhen im feelin advwenturous i take my condy penthivwe out a her plastic slip an ewver so gently stroke her lipstick mark vwith a quivwerin finger wvith my other flipper placed firmly against my crotch anyvway im afraid the competition has been crushed by the empresss unholy cake grinder the rest a you booty impaired ladies can go hivwe novw" yeah. yowvza. #cwv-cakesitting. <3 or <> for condy. <3< or c3< for rosie.
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
The much anticipated 2000s tier list. MOST of these series I watched either as they were released or in syndication throughout my childhood, so the metric of my enjoyment is both through the lens of nostalgia and by my old, much less skeptical yardstick. Shall we proceed to the 90s?
A tier list concerning animated series from the 2010s specifically. MOST of these series I have watched only as an adult, given they would have come out partially or in their entirety after my departure for The Medium. Next is the 2000s!
The face he makes when he wants [to escape and assassinate you]. I haven't an inkling as to why he's still so ornery after all these years. I bring refreshments and everything! Coochie coochie coo.
MMM Y34H NO TH4TS 3NOUGH CH1TTR FOR TH3 MORN1NG. 1 H4V3 T4SKS TO DO. NO MOR3 DOOMSCROLL1NG.
the sunrise is so pretty…
straight shadowboxing made up phantoms and still losing
all i could ask for in life is to hug all of my friends at once :)
yeah. the way i understand it, eridan is basically his dad and he got surgery to be bruno mars.
because he lives on earth, dunkass!! we personally cloned all the ancestors of the trolls that live here!
but he lives on earth is the thing. so he can't be the original obama from alternia. you're just fucking with me.
X00< oh no!!! X00< ewww im sorry
just an fyi if you have me blocked you cannot like my posts i didnt do that shit to you you did that shit to you dont get mad at the gun pointed at your face get mad at the your hand thats hovering over the trigger the hand is you
:33< this is just some basic COC level shit
0h yeah. I d0n't think I've seen y0u bef0re
Twenty-five minutes and counting until the #OldYoutubePlaylist stream. Hope to see you there!
*Pops every single poppable joint in one move* I'm up.
8 HOURS SEEMS, a LONG ENOUGH AMOUNT OF TIME TO, dEAL WITH THIS THREAT, i THINK,
To reiterate, the #OldYoutubePlaylist will air from 11 AM EST tomorrow morning until it ends, which presumably will be around 8 PM. All are welcome to attend. I'll be posting the link shortly before airtime and throughout the day. Feel free to blacklist #OldYoutubePlaylist to avoid the reminders. DISCLAIMER. I am merely purporting to have cultivated an ERA-ACCURATE playlist. I cannot speak to your personal enjoyment. If you get onto the OLD YOUTUBE PLAYLIST and find the comedic stylings of "Like Mah Status," "Fred Goes Swimming," "Charlie the Unicorn," and "Taking The Hobbits to Isengard" to be dated and blase, I CANNOT HELP YOU. :B See you there!
alternia itself might be flat, but it is also balanced on four trunkbeasts standing on top of a giant aquatic shellbeast.
Day off was nice. But happy to get back to work. Bein helpful feels good.
That is so cruel.
They are flanderizing me.
They looked at me and reduced me to the parts of my sum. They have turned me into modern Nedward.
OK ON A LESS JOKING NOTE I AM ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GETTING INTO BOTANY I THINK MY MATESPRIT WOULD REALLY LIKE SOME FLOWERS DECORATING THEIR HIVE.
aint it strange howw ill come off as an outright pervvert if i make this chitt addressed to puppy instead really makes you think
it is a sorry fuckin thaumaturgist that pulls up to the function wwith an undersized brim am i right
#wwizardwwednesday #lairsandlusii #fitcheck #wwizarding #sorcery #majyyk #lovve #philosophy #wwar wwizard wwednesday has come and gone long enough wwithout a meaninful contribution from yours truly the prince of hope therefore im blessin you all wwith an introduction to both my neww and improvved divvine robes #myrobes and the character ill be bringin to the sord coast at the advvent a LAIRS AND LUSII SORCERER HIGHTIER https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/37aa1a49b6d8.png
ON A PLATFORM INHABITED ON THE DAILY BY A TURD-FLINGING ZOO OF PARADOX SPACE'S MOST FAMOUSLY SCATPANNED SLACK-MANDIBLED JABBERMONKEYS, WHO SHOULD I EXPECT TO DELIVER A SPARKLING NUGGET OF GENUINE FUCKING LEARNING BUT THE FLOWERY GREEN FUCKNUT WHO SOMEHOW MAKES YOUR TAXONOMICALLY DISGUSTING MAMMAL SPECIES FEEL *ALMOST* TOLERABLE TO ME. THE ORIGINAL GREEN THUMB, HERSELF. AND YES, I SAY "THUMB," NOT PRONGSTUMP, OUT OF A FUCKING CRUMB OF BEGRUDGING RESPECT FOR YOUR SPECIES. A CRUMB THAT NOT EVEN A SQUEAKBEAST WOULD NIBBLE ON. BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT, JADE HARLEY. YOU CAN HAVE THAT CRUMB. I WON'T LIE TO YOU. READING THIS BROUGHT THE CORNERS OF MY LIPS HIGHER TO THE CONTEMPTABLE NEAR-SMILE LINE THAN ANYTHING CHITTED ON THIS HELLSITE IN A LONG TIME. WHICH IS MY WAY OF SAYING THAT I'M NOT SMILING. BECAUSE I'M NOT. BUT YOU GOT ME *PRETTY* FUCKING CLOSE. SO TAKE THAT CRUMB, TOO. THERE. THAT'S TWO. I'M BEING SO FUCKING GENEROUS, RIGHT NOW. AND OF ALL THE REASON TO LIKE READING THIS, IT'S THAT IT REMINDS ME OF FLEET ACADEMY SCHOOLFEEDING. THIS IS GOING TO SOUND STUPID AS FUCK, BUT ONE OF MY STRONGEST SUBJECTS WAS ASTROPHYSICS. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRATTLE IT WAS, THE PROPAGANDA ON MY PLANET. IT WOULD HAVE SICKENED YOUR SOFT, WEEPY HUMAN PALATE. OH, *EVERY* ALTERNIAN CITIZEN NEEDS TO LEARN THE BASICS OF INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL, FOR THE DAY THEY SERVE THE FLEET ON A GLORIOUS JOURNEY TO THE EMPIRE'S NEXT EXCITING NEW SYSTEM TO CONQUER AND SUBJUGATE, BLAH, BLAH, YADDA YADDA, KISS THE POSTER OF THE EMPRESS'S SHINY FAT ASS WHEN YOU WALK IN. THAT KIND OF INSUFFERABLE BULLSHIT. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, SOME PARTS OF PHYSICS ARE PRETTY FUCKING COOL. HEY, @grimbarkGuardian. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, THERE. OR AT LEAST GRAZED IT WITH A PATHETIC GLANCING BLOW. FUN FACT ABOUT FTL TRAVEL IN THE ALTERNIAN FLEET. OR AT LEAST, THIS COMES FROM THE SLOP THEY FED US IN THE TEXTSLABS. THERE'S A REASON YOU NEED LEGENDARILY STRONG PSIONICS TO MOVE A SPACESHIP. AND IT'S *NOT* BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF THE SPACESHIP, EVEN THOUGH THAT DEFINITELY PLAYS A PART. IT'S BECAUSE THE THING YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO MOVE ISN'T THE SHIP. YOU FUCKING GUESSED IT. IT'S SPACETIME. I CAN'T SAY I KNOW ALL THE DETAILS MYSELF, GIVEN THAT I'M NOT A FUCKING PSIONIC, BUT I WAS AROUND ONE LONG ENOUGH TO CONNECT THE DOTS. AND WE WERE PRETTY CLOSE. A PSIONIC HAS TO BE ABLE TO "FEEL" OUT WHATEVER HE'S MOVING OR MANIPULATING. MATTER *IS* ENERGY, BECAUSE MATTER IS MADE OF STABLE FREQUENCIES AND ENERGY CAN THEREFORE AFFECT THOSE FREQUENCIES. THEREFORE, THE STRONGER THEIR PSIONICS, THE DEEPER THEIR FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS CAN EXTEND TO OTHER FIELDS OF MATTER. OTHER SUBSTANCES, EVEN ONES THAT YOU HUMANS WOULD CONSIDER THEORETICAL. AND YEAH. THEY CAN TOUCH THE FABRIC OF SPACETIME. THEY CAN GRIP THAT RATTY BLANKET AND YANK IT AROUND. IT CONTRACTS IN FRONT OF THE SHIP AND EXPANDS BEHIND IT. THE SHIP DOESN'T ACTUALLY MOVE AT ALL — SPACE MOVES AROUND *IT.* IT JUST FEELS LIKE FASTER-THAN-LIGHT TRAVEL TO THE AWESTRUCK DUMBFUCKS BEHIND THE HELM WHO ARE REALLY TURNING UP THE DIAL ON THEIR HELMSMAN'S TORMENT NEXUS. WE CALL IT THE ALKYOU BIERRE EFFECT. BUT YOU HUMANS PROBABLY HAVE SOME DUMB-SOUNDING EQUIVALENT NAME FOR IT, I'M SURE. NO, IT'S NOT MAKING A FUCKING EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE, WHICH IS ALSO A STUPID NAME, BY THE WAY. BUT THE KIND OF PSIONICALLY MALFEASANT PAN-DAMAGE YOU'D BE INFLICTING ON YOUR HELMSMAN TO PUNCH A NEW CHITINOUS WINDHOLE THROUGH SPACETIME ITSELF WOULD BASICALLY GUARANTEE THAT YOU NO LONGER HAD A HELMSMAN WHEN YOU WERE DONE. AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE A *PRETTY* STRONG PSIONIC TO EVEN DO THAT MUCH. SO OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ATTEMPTED. ... OFTEN.
THIRTEEN SWEEPS, PAINSTAKINGLY STACKED ATOP THE OTHER, SURVIVED ONE BRUTAL BILUNAR PERIGEE AT A TIME. HALF OF THEM ON A PLANET I WAKE UP AND GIVE THE FAT, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB TO EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND THE REST ON A DUMPSTER FIRE OF A WORLD OF MY OWN "CREATION." ONLY SOME OF THEM I WAS REALLY, TRULY PRESENT FOR. THREE *THOUSAND* SWEEPS SPENT IN AN INESCAPABLE TORMENT NEXUS MEANT TO SAND DOWN ANY PROPRIETARY CONCEPT OF TIME I EVER HAD. WHICH I ESCAPED, ANYWAY. BUT NOT BEFORE IT SMOOTHED SOME OF THE HARD, JAGGED EDGES, TRY AS I MIGHT TO SHARPEN THEM BACK TO GANDERBULB-STABBING AND SPONGECASE-BLUDGEONING LETHAL FORCE. AND AS IF I COULDN'T PUSH THE INCREDULITY OF MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS NARRATIVE ANY FURTHER, TWELVE SWEEPS AFTER THAT, IN A FAR-FLUNG PAST SO STUPID THAT IT'S LEFT INDELIBLE MARKS ON MY VOCABULARY. AND SOME UNCOMFORTABLE SKILLS TO ADMIT ARE CURRENTLY PADDING OUT MY RESUME. A FAT, MALIGNANT PILE OF GREASY BLACK TRASH BAGS IN THE RUSTING DUMPSTER OF MY PERSONAL HISTORY, BOILING IN THE OPEN SUN AS THE LOOMING MONOLITH TO MY EVERY GRUELING SWEEP OF MERCILESS LIFE DARKENS THE FUCKING SKY. SO AT THIS POINT? FUCK IT. WHAT'S ONE MORE? #WRIGGLINGDAY. (AND BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, I'M STILL IN THE FUCKING FELT MANOR. THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN *HEAVILY* DOCTORTURED TO RESEMBLE ANYTHING CLOSE TO EARTH-C'S NATURAL DAYLIGHT. BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE ANY MORE FUCKING GREEN. I DECIDED I WANTED TO LOOK O.G., TODAY.)
i'D RATHER IT BE THE FLIRTEE, tHAN A STRANGER i GUESS, bUT THAT IS, oKAY,,,
of course! it’s nice to see new things opening up on earth c! can’t wait to get a chance to visit!
The seer should go to the union.
fun facts of the day! an einstein-rosen bridge is what people usually mean when they say “wormhole,” even though the original idea was not really a fun sci-fi doorway you can just hop through with a backpack and a dog. einstein and rosen were looking at the math of general relativity, where gravity is not a force pulling things around like a leash, but the shape of spacetime itself. if spacetime can bend around a massive object, then under certain solutions to einstein’s equations, it can also form something like a tunnel connecting two different regions. imagine spacetime like a big stretchy sheet. a normal path from one point to another is like walking across the sheet: a ------------------------ b but if the sheet folds, those points can get closer: a \ \____ tunnel ____ b that tunnel is the einstein-rosen bridge. the classic version comes from the math of a black hole paired with a kind of mirror-object called a white hole. a black hole is something things can fall into but not escape. a white hole, mathematically, is something things can escape from but not enter. the “bridge” is the connection between them. the problem is: in the original theory, the bridge is not traversable. since it pinches shut too fast, you cant actually travel through it! not even light gets through it! so, if you tried to fly through one, youd get obliterated because the universe is a jerk! thats right. the universe sucks! an einstein-rosen bridge is a theoretical spacetime shortcut, predicted by the equations of general relativity, but the original kind is more like a mathematical “hey, this shape can exist” with no practical application. which is rude, but also very physics. but you know, theres probably some stupid exotic matter or negative energy bs or like, i dont know, green sun empowered individuals that could hold that throat open. but like. how would you find one of those?
I don't want to get out of bed.
:33< evefurry one n33ds to get more silly and whimsical meow!!!
The streets are saying if we do not get more Kafkaesque, Chittr will not survive the week.
Shopping trip. #BettyCrocker #Reup #NeedMyMix #Yummers!
What d0es it say ab0ut me that my fav0urite anime characters always end up being the pr0tag0nists em0 friend
TO THE SURPRISE OF NO ONE, THE CURATOR OF THE ULTIMATE GRASS-TOUCHING EXPERIENCE IS RENOWNED GREEN PRONGSTUMP JADE HARLEY, YET AGAIN. GOOD FUCKING LORD, THIS PLACE LOOKS INSANE. I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIT A VISIT INTO THE NEXT PERIGEE. OR SWEEP. OR ETERNITY. OR WHATEVER.
EVERY FUCKING DAY WITH THIS EMOTIONALLY STUNTED BITCH IS THE SAME. YES, INCLUDING THE ONE I'M CURRENTLY TRAPPED IN A TIME LOOP ON. IF A DERANGED LOONEYBLOCK ESCAPEE WHOSE SOLE ART FORM WAS GROWING TWISTED, SADISTIC, ENIGMA OF EMIGARA FAULT-LIKE BONSAI TREES IN SHAPES THAT ONLY SOMEONE WITH REAL, FOMENTING HATRED IN THEIR PUSHER COULD CONTORT, THEIR MAGNUM OPUS WOULDN'T EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE WRETCHED EMOTIONAL DEFORMITY THAT BELONGS TO MY MANAGER. FUCK YOU. YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT, @handMaid. BUT THIS POSTING WAR IS STILL GOING. https://i.ibb.co/JMcsTyX/image.png
holy fucking genius ok that makes a lot of sense actually i will stop harping on the chefs
everyone raise your hand if you went to therapy
(\ /)
I wish I was a Jerusalem cricket! They g-o-o-t big dumb heads l-o-o-l
It's ok, sometimes you're too in the moment for something to come to mind
tOTALLY! i'LL NEED SOMETH1NG TO HELP PAY, fOR GRAD SCHOOLFEEDING, aND ALL THAT,
string deez nuts
Wait. Wait this is huge. Adding this to my “Places to Visit on Earth-C” list
ni(e
oOH WILL YOU HAVE, vOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES?
its so beautiful!!!!!!! you did a really good job woof :)
sO COOL!
you look great in this picture, jade! :) for the sake of my beloved sister, i will do the unthinkable and leave my house to visit your awesome garden.
sorry I've been offline, I was digging the exercise gear out of my basement and then I got distracted by something labelled "transportalizer"? anyone heard of one of those?
sand and comprehend dont even flow what this is wack as fuck but fat fuckin bet
not to be pressed but like did you even see my opening verse or are you just here to gawk after the fact this is a response to a response
that said meaningfully constructive shit taken my next verse should be poetry if thats what this is to people
Calling you psycho the way that you're desperate, Scribbling proclamations like an illiterate text-wit. Shit was clipped out of context? Bitch, quit grasping at straws, She won't step on your face, but I'll enforce some laws. You think she's your purpose, your sole reason for life? You're just a cog in the system, perpetual victim of strife. Weeping bodily fluids like they're bars in the sand, While we're out here running empires you can't comprehend. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest of all? A total non-entity tryna play ball. Read, reread the garbage you vent in and out of the feed, See you’re a footnote in history for anyone's heed. Sucker for attention, can't think beyond your erection, All for a friend of a friend, no preestablished connection. You're kicking it solo, forever a clone, An absolute nobody wasting time on his phone. Dave's playing fuckin' ball? You do got that legacy, But the way your shit's twisted is downright fuckin' heresy. Get my knob off your mind, drop the text that you signed, You’re swinging out of your league and getting aligned. Quoting anime at me? Let's check back into reality, Your fragile mentality can't face my brutality. Your game is already dead, no head, no crown, Just a supplementary Strider acting like a clown.
@carbolicGalvanologist I would be remiss not to deliver upon my promise to celebrate your presence in my life- in the only dark, earthy tones that seem to proportionately convey my appreciation. Behold. I have named her The Bogtrotter. Twenty-four layers and ten inches in diameter. Roughly the weight of a rotund first-grader. Old Bruce himself could not have served you better if he'd been liquefied and baked into a juvenile diabetic puck. Happy Wriggling Day, KV. From your pal. :B
I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're watching old Youtube for the next six hours. Excluding official music videos, but including noteworthy brand advertisements. Justin Beiber's Baby is out. Rebecca Black's Friday is in. Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" is a-go. We have a sensible bouquet of Key of Awesome, The Gregory Brothers, and the RESPECTABLE Lonely Island skits. The old ones, with the homemade aesthetic. We have a thirty minute block of talking and/or emoting baby videos, followed by an Annoying Orange "Wazzup" palate cleanser, immediately followed by thirty more minutes of various cat videos. Nyan Cat falls under the animated chapter of the docket rather than the feline, for what I hope are obvious reasons. We then have a full hour of adult men angrily reviewing various pieces of media AND/OR ragequitting from a game. I like to mix my unjustifiable tirades with full-blown meltdowns for variety. From there we dive headfirst into the animation section. I've compiled a Llamas with Hats extended edit, amongst others. Then I say we cut a left to comedic skit dub-overs, culminating in The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Then onto the bloopers. We have a SUPERCUT of various gaffes and boners ranging from popular cinematic works to voice-acting to news reels. Our musical outro will be the DJ Earworm United State of Pop 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 in that order. THEN if you're still feeling froggy, we can pivot to old-school brawling videos caught on tape, from your phone, under the blankets. You will have to hold the phone up. And then sex I guess. #NSFW.
Some patients can't 8e saved, 8ut that 8urden's not on you........ #auto8iographical #lightempath theantlers #lyricposting #rel8tionships
It's been too long, so I say we delve back into more dreadful baking trends I would like to see buried but NOT mourned. - Ice cream "cakes." Stop calling it a "cake" if you haven't stuck even a single layer of sponge inside, and be mindful of the ratio of ACTUAL CAKE to NON-CAKE SUBSTANCES. Also, is the frosting on an ice cream cake not the most noxious gloop ever to film over the roof of your mouth? What is IN that? I see you all beaming over those candles. So happy to eat that damn nonsense. - Desserts gussied up to look like savory foods and vice versa. I do not mean performance art deception pieces wherein the fondant (only acceptable use of fondant) has been molded into realistic sculpture with the intent to dupe the viewer. I mean a stupid faffing hamburger cake, or the mashed potato ice cream cone. What is the appeal? Kindly select a lane before I run you off the road. Be dessert or be nothing. - Cupcakes which have reached such vertical instability you cannot even sample your goods without the tip of the frosting sneaking up your nasal passage and poking your brain. "Who wants one???" THE LAKERS. YOUR CUPCAKE OUGHT TO BE SLAMMING THREE POINTERS. IT'S SIX FOOT FIVE. Back to work. These rejections of fads that refuse to die come to mind mostly as I reject pitches for upcoming cookbooks and social media content. Follow the BettyBuddies channel on Youtube for all the content I decided WAS up to snuff. These jokers. :|
This is how i feel after watching army of darkness sometimes! But then i remember that ol mister williams and his chiseled physique is always fit to sweep from the rafters and cave in the rear ends of whatever nefarious do badders are lurking by the wayside.
hey, jade. sorry i keep ducking all of your hangout invites. :( i just feel so blehhh sometimes, you know? i swear we will catch up and watch a movie soon.
Ii think the museum itself may just be an ad t.o° be h.o°nesty but I f.o°rgivve it f.o°r this it was s.o° euph.o°ric evevn if Ch.o°ke is n.o°t necessarily my fav.o°rite even .o°ut .o°f cullas https://cdn.imgchest.c.o°m/files/6611ed755115.png
#MacroCullsmos #CanItRunHAL #CanItRunYAOI https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6ceb5459d2b7.gif - MC Oleana
Considering #RumbleNight never came to full fruition, there's no harm in posting one or two of the early promotional photos.
Everythings coming up english!
https://forms.gle/2w9FseGAoHseZEcN7 QUESTION: So you have the apple bottom jeans? Perhaps some boots with the fur to go along with them? And have you ever gotten "low" while wearing them? ANSWER: I did promise to deliver. Pardon me if I retain my vertical integrity on camera, though. I won't be getting "low" on demand.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/8acfae6499d980a49b4b31dad52e0b38/399a9faa6bea705a-b1/s1280x1920/cbaa49fdb72b3f574f67684c80c7497afb91d994.jpg
Believe it or not, we argued in the test kitchen over whether or not the drip was a touch on the nose. #BehindTheScenes #PrideMonth #Ally #GayCake #JustLikeYou
*=_-^ 𝔥ttps://file.garden/aujin6psk2be𝔥wdq/𝔥[]rsle𝔥ard.png t𝔥is is t[][] 𝔥ard ^=_-'
#BFFs #sisters #glubyou #derp #GetYourDerpOn
I suppose I owe a sincere apology to those of you whose contact with me has lapsed over the last... week? two weeks? I don't quite recall! :B Frankly, in all the lotus-eating festivity, I completely lost track of the calendar, and with it my professional agenda... but I take it Unreal Heiress kept my appointments and delivered my pre-formulated responses at the office in a timely manner! I've been away. It was entirely incidental that the extension of an invitation to "hang" reached my inbox so shortly after my... change in status. Hrm! And then we... gee. It feels invasive to summarize the hours upon hours of Gill Time which commenced across the following days! ... Where was I? Oh, yes, right. I guess I'm home now. Or. Whatever. Who cares. I miss you already, @cuttlefishCabbalist! :( More pictures of our escapades incoming. #BFFS #gillfronds #noromo #bestfriendsforever #sisters https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ff3e335cf5b7.PNG
I'm still mad and my 'puter still off, but all I have to say is, and with the dryest intonation possible, "Wow. I am shocked. Who could I have seen this coming?" Okay, bye.
a pAGE GUIDES A VEGGIE BURRITO, iNTO HER MOUTH AND AND THEN TUMMY,
Oh I misunderstood the context it seems! No that is never good, but finding a new family member never is a bad thing. Maybe you can just...move her?
⚝ HELLO THERE, FUTURE LISTENERS (hopefully)!!!! I (your host Jade in case you forgot!) thought a little visual might clear up the question you've all surely been asking yourselves: How did we get signal in a Black Hole?? Fear not because I'm here with the answer! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/67b7d5d788c7.png Hope that clears things up:D!! Tune into PARADISE RADIO at 333.0 FM!! ⚝
just know that i was treated like a fuckin dog. or some shit like that. <:B
dont worry she didnt do much. literally didnt do shit for me.
:33 < purrsonally i think making mistakes will always happen no meowtter the age :33 < but then again. i might just be a cat disaster
A majority of forks exist in kitchens.
I won't, I promise. Just for you.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/61e5cb659e6e.gif
Too late. This ship has had its maiden voyage already. Sails have unfurled.
I ship it.
Grab your britches and tighten your belts- the rumblethon-a-rama is set to blow your briefs plum OFF until youre sitting in your skivvies thinking... *shucks* these guys are going at each other hardcore. Were going BACK TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH. Skipping hump day and sliding straight to tussletime thursday! You havent seen oil like this since #eridanweek... and whos to say i wont be taking two princes once more? Fit to make the last set of wicked heels look like damn tubby time. Two for two in a one on one youll never guess what weve got stocked in the back! Well have MUSIC and RHYMES and best of all... two chuckleheads going railing hard as all get out on each other until the fat lady SINGS. Yowzers!!! Someone turn OFF the heat because this whole shindig is about to be FIRE. Be there or be square... more deets in the works so #watchthisspace! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/beee53c3eedb.gif
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
Just for this bold faced lie I'm bumping you down by 1 in my drawing queue.
Thank you Jade, I appreciate it honestly. I will take your words to heart and see what I can make of them.
Every Day I Thank The Admins For Block Features
Nothing Happened Per Se I Just Saw The Latest Post From Someone Who Was Already Kind of On My Shit List And Said "You Know What I Dont Have To See These Anymore"
Had some milk and cookies! :)
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
So many people volunteered to dig in my honor. Go, my hol-- nevermind. Go, my volunteer digging friends.
i havent had this much fun digging a h0le in ages
Someone dig a hole in my honor, please. I can't leave the couch to go do it. Also, my neighbors would think I am even more of a weirdo if I went outside and got on my knees and started tearing up my garden with my bare hands. Being a creator god doesn't mean you're free from the scorned looks of neighborhood trolls and carapacians.
Holle.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/170fcd8b38c6.png #lususmention.
#fishingfriday #fitcheck as our wweekly foray into maritime recreation drawws to a close (wwith nary evven a single damn post in the tag wwtf is wwrong wwith you guys) i am once again carryin on the tradition a furnishin you all wwith photographic commemoration a the day i had out on the wwater "the fishing wwas good. it wwas the catching that wwas bad" -barak trollbama https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c8f1e58286f7.png off to the masquerade
What is this. Who sent this to me. What does it even mean. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c85d6579cb53.png
Unreal Heiress, play Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.
I hear the pleas of the masses. But the solution here is NOT more wanton violence. No matter how you may strike this miserable starving poonhound, you will not deter him from the table! ... There is only one weapon left in my artillery. A single lethal projectile by which to silence this fool.
... :(
Just get off my post.
Crockercorp. One word, you disappointing fucking dullard. Also- the "BOARD OF DIRECTORS?" What reality are YOU dwelling under the funk of wherein OUR namesake corporation is run by ANYTHING other than our own private equity? You haven't bought back your own fucking stock? The bootstraps are for PULLING ONESELF UPWAYS, not tangling around your own gullet like an unobserved toddler stumbling into the window shades! :B But let us be quite frank with ourselves, shall we? You are cognitively ROTTING under the yoke of that contraption. You will never aspire to anything greater than burrowing mouth-first into your empress' shoe leather like a rat trying to find fresh air. And good gravy, that is ok! I have now thoroughly observed you. Beneath the heel of a more intelligent superior is precisely your niche, Jane. Hold on tight to that shelter, because we can all see VERY APPARENTLY that you do not have the chops for upper management.
An official statement on my rendezvous with @aeneasCaldarium. He joined me at the Crocker estate for supper, and we had a long, civil adult discussion on the subjects he erroneously ascribed to MY person in his sloppy pursuit of my alternates. I took great care to wipe that slate clean and to reeducate him (VERBALLY) on the state of my interests and endeavors. He was... more than receptive to my revisions. :| Then he left! I wholeheartedly accept the apology and corrected statement that followed. And that is all she wrote, buster!
Regrettably.
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
... Thank you.
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
but still i am unable t0 be very angry if it were pure n0nsense i w001d m0re easily be able t0 disregard it #dashwatching #cagttl
I really don't think they are obligated to do anything. It is exploring an interesting character space, it is appropriately tagged, it doesn't break any rules. They have followed every possible rule they can be expected to
sHE'S NO PROBLEM AT ALL!
jANE IS BASICALLY, oNE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND TRUST ME SHE,,, sHE'S INIMITABLE,
((i hope you all know whenever i rp as nepetas beastsona im imagining her movements as the exaggerated mascot suit/fursuit movements and you guys should too
f0und him #megid0may is back 0n https://cdn.imgchest.c0m/files/64b8743dc3d4.png
Only once it's done.
B33 < meowdy!
[ A brief video post: Of course, Roxy is the cameraman. They take bouncing steps towards the subject of their video, that being @aeneasCaldarium , and are seemingly all smiles from the other side of their cellphone. They tread closer, lens capturing the unwitting grin of anticipation splitting Cronuss face. Behind the camera, Roxy goes: ] hi! lmao :) [ But before Cronus can foist over a response, Roxy leans in and boops him on the nose. And all of a sudden, hes gone. As if they cut to a frame where he simply wasnt standing there, Cronus has disappered. The whole video is about as long as a Vine. ] #cagttl
You know what truly makes me upset about it all? The fact that he's clearly drawing from some level of firsthand experience on top of the obvious character headcanons he's placing onto real people. The idea that there are versions of us out there who not only allowed him within the shell that surrounds us, but potentially those that sought it out first? That is terrifying.
if you think its weird to see imagine what its like for me
This message could have just said "pretty people" and got your entire point across ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
I did in fact throw mysellf into the sea. It is faster than a shower. And very colld.
Im a pimp! Never been a whimp!