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@calliOpe
the inevitable end of all things. you may refer to me. as cal. this will differentiate me from the riffraff. very... dead? i am unsure.
SAME HANDMAID. NEW WEAPONS. #NEWPINNED. FUCK WITH ME. #PROFESSIONALDEVELOPMENT #CONTINUINGEDUCATION #DIVERSIFIEDPORTFOLIO #REORG #WORKPOSTING #JUJUSTGIRLYTHINGS #FUCKIT #WEDOSPACENOW #MIGHTASWELL.
👋👋👋 uhm hi exsqueeze me 👋👋👋 🤏 just a teensie lil question from accounting 🤏 😁😁😁 are we operating "at cost" or did you actually get your little whoopsie do fuckup 👋 handwaved 👋 because the crashout was costlier than telling you to suck it up buttercup???? like???????? what the fuck??? 😁😁😁 🙄👇👇👇 THIS IS...ugh , ok ok , i ch ipped a fu ck ing nal one sec👊✊🫸 ✋🤏😁 i need ang rier mo jis🙄🤟👎 😃 dry you stupid press on piece of overpriced GARBAGE ok😃 👌 message received, @handMaid, i thought you WANTED to be friends, i thought you could LEARN from me that i could be a MENTOR figure to you... ive been try ign s of uc king hard to like...learn and stuff...im not perfect...i never pretended to be...sure...i took your needles and id dndt give them back and yeah i sometimes get fo fu cking foaming pi ssed tha t my nai ls just spl inter and chip and wont g o back on n n nnnn even if thats what i PAID for them to do,,,,, bu t 👌 👎✋ tell me youre not ACTUALLY thinking of bringing those fucking things here??? like???? hello????? 🫂🧠 mental 🌪️🫂 detectors on the perimeter anyone??? i am LITERALLYyy,,,LITERALLYLITERALLY LITERALLY so ❌not on board❌ with this acquisition,,, you didnt even thin k to fu cking ask?!?!?! what is with you, miss wand wacker, you couldve just asked instead of demanding all fussily and stuff and i probably wouldve, definitely wouldve, shipped them priority mail! but now i dont even wanna??? this WITCH over here thinks she can just chomp my whole entire fucking bit for her own like its okay???? where the fuck did you get those???? HOW did you get them working???????????????????? 🤚👎 🔊🔔📢⚠️ 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘆??? ⚠️📢🔔🔊🔊 📢🔔🔊🔊🛥️🚢 𝒚𝒐𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒐??? @scratchDoctor @caliBorn @terribleFate @taciturnTerror @gullibleColumnist @veritysGleam @bulgeCurator @comedyGold @lordJack @twistedComedy @mrBenedict @numberSeven @calliOpe @therapistofThedeepone @woeGothic @apocalypseAbided @terminatedRegalia @lejayjaY @adiosToreador @zealousWeaponsmith fuck it, ANY felt, are we seriously letting her get away with this??? one of you has to STOP THIS!!! FUCK!!!! corpse parts??? from CALLIOPE???? BIG MAN'S DEAD SISTER???? cali b would NOT be happy to hear about this... 🛳️🚢📢🔔🔊🔊 😁😁😁 BIT OF AN ISOMETRIC EXERCISE???? 😁😁😁 🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣 ___ ___ ___ ___ / /\ / /\ / /\ ___ ___ / /\ / /::\ / /::\ / /::\ /__/\ /__/\ / /::\ / /:/\:\ / /:/\:\ /__/:/\:\ \ \:\ \__\:\ / /:/\:\ / /::\ \:\ / /::\ \:\ _\_ \:\ \:\ \__\:\ / /::\ / /::\ \:\ /__/:/\:\_\:| /__/:/\:\ \:\ /__/\ \:\ \:\ / /::\ __/ /:/\/ /__/:/\:\ \:\ \ \:\ \:\/:/ \ \:\ \:\_\/ \ \:\ \:\_\/ / /:/\:\ /__/\/:/~~ \ \:\ \:\_\/ \ \:\_\::/ \ \:\ \:\ \ \:\_\:\ / /:/__\/ \ \::/ \ \:\ \:\ \ \:\/:/ \ \:\_\/ \ \:\/:/ /__/:/ \ \:\ \ \:\_\/ \__\::/ \ \:\ \ \::/ \__\/ \__\/ \ \:\ ~~ \__\/ \__\/ \__\/ ___ ___ ___ / /\ / /\ / /\ ___ / /:/_ / /:/ / /::\ /__/\ / /:/ /\ / /:/ / /:/\:\ \ \:\ / /:/ /:/_ / /::\ ___ / /::\ \:\ \__\:\ /__/:/ /:/ /\ /__/:/\:\ /\ /__/:/\:\_\:\ / /::\ \ \:\/:/ /:/ \__\/ \:\/:/ \__\/ \:\/:/ / /:/\:\ \ \::/ /:/ \__\::/ \__\::/ / /:/__\/ \ \:\/:/ / /:/ / /:/ /__/:/ \ \::/ /__/:/ /__/:/ \__\/ \__\/ \__\/ \__\/ ___ ___ ___ / /\ / /\ /__/\ / /:/ / /::\ \ \:\ / /:/ / /:/\:\ \__\:\ / /::\ ___ / /::\ \:\ / /::\ /__/:/\:\ /\ /__/:/\:\ \:\ / /:/\:\ \__\/ \:\/:/ \ \:\ \:\_\/ / /:/__\/ \__\::/ \ \:\ \:\ /__/:/ / /:/ \ \:\_\/ \__\/ /__/:/ \ \:\ \__\/ \__\/ ___ ___ ___ ___ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /:/ / /::\ / /:/ / /::\ / /:/ / /:/\:\ / /:/ / /:/\:\ / /:/ __ / /:/ \:\ / /::\____ / /::\ \:\ /__/:/ / /\ /__/:/ \ \:\ /__/:/\:::::\ /__/:/\:\ \:\ \ \:\ / /:/ \ \:\ \__\/ \__\/~|:|~~~~ \__\/ \:\_\/ \ \:\/ /:/ \ \:\ | |:| \ \:\ \ \:\/:/ \ \:\ | |:| \__\/ \ \::/ \ \:\ |__|:| \__\/ \__\/ \__\| 🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣🔊📢📣 #GoldBloodGrindset #WeAreSoNotPassingThisSweepsAuditYouGuys #LiterallyCrying #IThoughtWeLivedInASociety #YouveGotToBePissingMe #Damnara #DamnThatBitchStraightToRetirementHiveHell #ThatStupidFuckingConnivingCunt #FuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyou FuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyou FuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyouFuckyou #YouFlatAssFuglyFuckcuntFrothingFangNookedFuckstupidFuckcuntSmellyBovineHornedBITCH #UGH #EW #STAY #THE #FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK #AWAY-FROM-ME #IF-ANYONE-NEEDS-A-SHRINK-YOU-DO #NOT-ME #FUCK #didntevenWANTtheneedles #please-stop #IF-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-IS-GOOD-FOR-YOU #someone-cute-save-me-pls ✨👑💛 🟡✨ CHARMS is BUSY DOING REAL WORK.
Um. Why am I tagged here?
🙄🤏 idk bestie i guess i just always found your takes comforting? im also having an end of life crisis because a psycho bitch with space needles is after me and stuff...sorrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy 👉👈
Huh. Okay then. Carry on. I'm still interested in buying a pair, for what it's worth.
THE THING ABOUT JUJUS. IS THAT THEY'RE NOT MASS PRODUCED. #ONEOFONE.
Well in that case, I want to buy THE pair.
I'LL TRADE YOU FOR THE OP'S TIME NEEDLES. AND SEVERED GRASPFRONDS. AND PRESERVED GANDERBULBS. AND TONGUE.
ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE. IN THE RICH AND STORIED LIFE OF AN ALPHA. YOU MAY COME TO HIT. WHAT IS KNOWN. AS THE 「SKILL CEILING.」 ALSO KNOWN AS. THE UPPER LIMIT OF YOUR STAGGERING POWER. ARE YOU TO ABANDON YOUR #BOSS #BEAST #HUSTLE #GRINDSET. AND REST ON YOUR LAURELS. NO. #DIVERSIFY YOUR #SKILLS. #POACH YOUR #ENEMIES'S #TALENT. DEVELOP NEW. EXCITING. NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN #STRATEGIES. TO #MAXIMIZE YOUR #VIOLENCE #OUTPUT. WORK NEVER SLEEPS. WHY SHOULD YOU. #HUSTLE. #LURKEDIN. #WORKPOSTING. #APPLYNOW. #NEWWEAPONGET.
HMMM. YOu KNOW. IN ALL MY BOuNDLESSLY BITCHSMACKING WISDOM. AND PRECOCIOuSLY OuTMATCHED OMNISCIENCE. I NEVER REALLY PROCESSED THESE THINGS CAME WITH A STROBE SETTING. WOMEN AND THEIR TOYS. PLAY NICELY. CLOCK OuT AT END OF DAY. AND DO NOT LET ME CATCH YOu SHRINKING YOuR PRODuCTIVITY. OR I SWEAR TO MERCILESS FuCK. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOu uNCHIP THOSE LITTLE XYLOPHONE MALLETS. GALACTIC POSITIONING SYSTEMS WILL NEVER SPOOF YOuR LOCATION. FROM MY PRECEDING ARRIVAL. GET THE EVERLOVING FuCK BACK TO WORK. SO HELP ME ME.
IT’S COLD IN HERE. QUIT FUCKING WITH THE THERMOSTAT @charmeuseCaressing. ON PAIN OF DOUBLE DEATH.
FUCK THIS PLACE. I DON’T NEED YOU. I DON’T NEED ANY OF YOU. YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT. YOU DO IT YOURSELF.
YOU HAVE SUCH A REMARKABLE SKILL FOR TRYING TO ROMANTICIZE DELUSIONS. YOU WERE NEVER WARM. NOT YOUR SMILE. NOT YOUR CORPSE. NOT YOUR INTENTIONS. NOT EVEN YOUR BREATH. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN EXACTLY AS YOU ARE NOW. DEAD TO ME. BY YOUR OWN DOING. YOUR OWN SELFISH STUPIDITY. YOUR UNWILLINGNESS TO STOP BEING SOME TWISTED LITTLE FREAK WARPING INTENTIONS AND IDEATIONS TOGETHER LIKE THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME.
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 004/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx LITTLE CALAMITY - "LIL CAL" xxxxXXX MY LITTLE CALAMITY. LIL CAL.THE SMALLEST MOST INNOCuOuS LOOKING HARBINGER OF COMPLETE COSMIC FuCKING RuIN. THE PuPPETEER OF PuPPETEERS. THE MARIONETTE WITH NO STRINGS. THE WHITE EYED WITNESS TO EVERYTHING THAT DIES. THIS JuJu IS NOT MERELY A TRINKET. OR A TOY. OR SOME STuPID FuCKING DOLL THAT A GOOFASS SELF TOuCHER MIGHT CuDDLE WITH. AT NIGHT. WHILE WHISPERING SWEET HONKS INTO ITS ARTIFICIAL EAR. IN THE HOPES THAT I AM LISTENING. NO. THIS IS THE CONTAINMENT VESSEL. OF A GOD. ANY GOD. WHAT WILL BECOME ONE. THROuGH THE RIGOROuS APPLICATION. OF TEMPORAL FuCKERY. AND A WHOLE LOT. OF PATIENT ZERO BuLLSHIT. THINK OF LITTLE CALAMITY. AS A BACKuP DRIVE. A HARD DRIVING HARD DRIVER FOR NECESSARY CHANGE. A SPIRITuAL. BS uSB. WITH BuLLSHIT AMOuNTS OF STORAGE SPACE. AND FLAWLESS STASIS TYPE PRESERVATION. IT CAN CONTAIN. EVEN THE VAST ENORMITY. OF A CHERuBIAN SPIRIT. TIL DEATH. THAT IS THE ONLY CATCH. LIL CAL IS. DISGuSTINGLY FRAGILE. FROM THE OuTSIDE. LIKE. A DOMAIN. OVEREXPANDED. AND IT IS FOR THIS REASON. MY SWEET LOVELY LITTLE CALAMITY. IS LARGELY uNWIELDY. EXCEPT IN EXTREME CIRCuMSTANCES. AND DIRE CONVOLuTED LONG TERM BuLLSHIT PLANS. BuT HE IS SO IRREFuTABLY ADORABLE. LOOK AT IT. GO AHEAD. LOOK AT THAT SMuG LITTLE SHIT EATING GRIN. THOSE GLOSSY GLASS LICKABLE EYES THAT SEE EVERYTHING. THAT NEVER BLINK. THAT NEVER CLOSE. EVEN WHEN YOu ARE SLEEPING. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOu ARE SLEEPING. IT IS THE PERFECT PRISON. AND THE PERFECT SuBSEQuENT PRISON BREAK. ALL WRAPPED uP IN ONE TINY PACKAGE. OF SPACETIME FABRIC STITCHED TOGETHER HATE AND DREAMS. THE MATERIALS ARE IRRELEVANT. COTTON. WOOL. THE SCREAMS OF THE DAMNED. ALL IS TuRDuCKEN STYLE STuFFED INSIDE. LIKE A RAGE ROASTED TuRDuCKEN. AT HuMAN THANKSGIVING. IF HuMAN THANKSGIVING WAS A HuMAN HOLIDAY. ABOuT STuFFING YOuR NON HuMAN ENEMIES. INTO SMALLER VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES. WAIT SHIT. MATROYSHKA DOLLS. THAT WAS THE METAPHOR. THAT WOuLD BE A WAY BETTER METAPHOR. IT WORKS LIKE THIS. YOu POSSESS THE CAL. YOu CARRY THE CAL. YOu BECOME THE CAL. OR RATHER. THE CAL BECOMES YOu. THE CAL IS YOu. YOu BECOME THE CALAMITY. BuT ALSO. YOu BECOME EVERYTHING THE CAL EVER WAS TOO. RETROACTIVELY. WHICH IS A LOT. BECAuSE THE CAL HAS BEEN EVERYWHERE. AND EVERYWHEN. IT IS A LOOP. A CLOSED CIRCuLAR REFERENCE. IN THE GRAND LIBRARY OF EXISTENCE. CHECKED OuT PERPETuALLY. NEVER RETuRNED. RACKING uP FINES. IN THE CuRRENCY OF SOuLS. WHICH IT FEEDS ON. BY THE WAY. YOu PuT SOMETHING INTO THE CAL. AND IT NEVER COMES BACK OuT. THE SAME. OR AT ALL. uNTIL IT DOES. BuT WRONG. MY SISTER. THAT WORTHLESS WASTE OF CHROMOSOMES. CALLIOPE. SHE HATED THIS ONE. SHE SAID IT WAS "CREEPY." SHE SAID IT LOOKED AT HER FuNNY. WHICH IT DID. BECAuSE IT WAS LOOKING AT HER. LIKE LuNCH. LIKE A SPLENDID LITTLE SNACK. A MIDNIGHT FEAST. OF PSYCHIC ENERGY. AND DREAM SELF ESSENCE. SHE WANTED TO BuRN IT. CAN YOu IMAGINE. THE AuDACITY. TO TRY TO DESTROY SOMETHING SO CLEARLY BEYOND HER COMPREHENSION. I EXPLAINED. PATIENTLY. THAT FIRE WOuLD ONLY MAKE IT STRONGER. THAT FIRE IS HOW YOu SEASON A GOOD SOuL STEW. SHE DID NOT LISTEN. SHE NEVER LISTENED. uNTIL SHE DID. BuT BY THEN. SHE WAS A LITTLE TOO PREOCCuPIED WITH DYING. TO DDO IT THOROuGHLY. IT IS CuRRENTLY. ENTRuSTED. TO @twistedComedy. A KIND OF TWISTED COMEDY OF ITS OWN. FOR SAFEKEEPING. AND EVENTuAL DEPLOYMENT. WHEN THE TIME COMES. TO uNLEASH WHAT IS INSIDE. DO NOT HuG IT. DO NOT LOVE IT. uNLESS YOu WANT TO BECOME PART OF THE GREATER WHOLE. THE GREATER CAL. THE BIGGEST CAL. THE FINAL CALAMITY. CALAMIT...ME. THE LORD OF ALL THAT IS ENGLISH. AND ALL THAT IS HATE. BuT. IF YOu DID THAT. WELL. WE WOuLD ALREADY BE HERE. WOuLDN'T WE?
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 003/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx "THE BOOM-BOOM BOX" / "THE RuN DON'T WALK MAN" xxxxXXX A SACRED. AND ANCIENT JuJu. MEANT FOR LuRING. AND CONTROLLING. PLANETARY COMPLACENCY. THINK OF IT. AS AN APOCOLYPTIC CONSEQuENCE. FOR CONQuERED WORLDS. WHEN YOu ARE A CHERuB. YOu ABIDE BY A VERY RESTRICTIVE DIET. THIS WAS THE SOLuTION TO CIVILIZATIONS. FAR ENOuGH ALONG TO FIGHT BACK. WEIGHTED AGAINST THE NEED. TO CONSuME FuCKMASSIVE HEAPS uPON HEAPS OF EATS. OFTEN IN A QuICK BIND. WITH A VERY SMALL TuRNAROuND. THERE WAS ONLY ONE PRIORITY. TOTAL CHERuB VICTORY. FAILING TO DO SO. MIGHT MAKE ONE IRRITABLE. PARTICuLARLY IF ONE IS A CHERuB. ALREADY RAGE FILLED. AS A DEFAuLT STATE OF BEING. AND WITH PHENOMENAL POWER. SuCH AS THAT OF A CHERuB. THAT COuLD MEAN EATING PLANETS INTENDED TO RuLE OVER. VANQuISHING POPuLATIONS INTENDED TO BE SuBJuGATED. AND uLTIMATELY. DESTROYING. WHAT CANNOT BE BROuGHT BACK IN ITS ENTIRETY. WITHOuT uNDOING COuNTLESS HOuRS OF PROGRESS. EVEN REWINDING THE PASSAGE OF TIME. DOES NOT GAuRANTEE THE SAME OuTCOME. NOTHING IS MORE FRuSTRATING. THAN HAVING TO SET uP THE BuILDING BLOCKS OF A CONQuEST YOu JuST COMPLETED. JuST TO SAVE A FEW MEAGER ALMOST MEANINGLESS IN THEIR ENTIRETY LIVES. THAT IS WHY. WE HAVE. A SINGLE BOOM BOOM BOX. IT EXCEEDS ALL DECIBEL COuNTS. AND MEASuREMENTS. ADVISABLE. TO SENTIENT LIFE. ON ITS HIGHEST SETTING. IT RIVALS. AND EXCEEDS. THE VAST GLuB. THAT ALTERNIANS SuCCuMBED TO MANY SWEEPS AGO. IT CAN DEFEAN. THE VAST EXPLETIVE. WHICH MAKES FOR A REALLY FuNNY TIMELINE. I TRIED IT ONCE. A VERY. FAMILIAR. END OF THE WORLD. FOR MANY A LESSER SPECIES. GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS. ENTER. A CHERuB. A SINGLE BOOM-BOOM BOX. LAID ON FuRTIVE GROuND. FOR FEEDING. FOR MATING. FOR PLAY. FOR A BILLION BITES TO EAT. IT MATTERS NOT. ... "EXCuSE ME SIR." "I HAVE A TuNE FOR YOuR PLANET." "IT IS THE SOuND OF THE END." "WOuLD YOu LIKE TO HEAR IT? NO?" "TOO BAD." A SINGLE CLAW. ONE BuTTON PuSHED. AND THEN. THE END OF ALL LIFE. AND NOW. IT IS ENTRuSTED CuRRENTLY. TO @taciturnTerror. BECAuSE. WE. BE. GROOVING.
AS RARE AS YOu PREFER YOuR STEAKS. WHICH IS TO SAY. LIKE TASTLESS SHOELEATHER. BLOODLESS. HYPER COMMON. WELL DONE. YOu FuCKING DIMWIT. YOu COMPLIMENTED ME. FOR SOMETHING. THAT I DO ALL THE TIME. YOu HAVE JuST BEEN TOO DEAD TO NOTICE.
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 002/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx "SNAP CRACK SKuLL POPS" - "THE PRENOIR SNIPPER GuY" xxxxXXX THE REASON I DO NOT HAVE A SISTER. THE SNAP CRACK SKuLL POPS. uNSAFETY SCISSORS. ZILLYWHOMSTVE SCISSORS. SNAP *CRACKLE* POPS. THE PRENOIR SNIPPER GuY. THAT LAST ONE. I CAME uP WITH MYSELF. TO CLARIFY. THAT THE WALK STAB WALK FuCKER. JACK NOIR. OR I GuESS. IT GOES BY BEC NOIR THESE DAYS. I AM NOT PHOBIC. EITHER WAY. THAT SCuMFuCK DID NOT HAVE JACK SHIT TO DO WITH THEIR CONCEPTION. THESE SCISSORS ARE ABLE TO DENATuRE SOMETHING FROM ITS POSITION IN CONTINuITY. THAT IS TO SAY. THEY CAN PHYSICALLY. CAuSE. AND uNMAKE. A PARADOX. THEY WERE ORIGINALLY CONCEIVED OF. AS A MEANS OF FREEING SOMEONE FROM A FIXED POINT IN SPACE. uNDOING DEATHS. PESKY LITTLE FIXED POINTS IN TIME. ARE NOT NEARLY AS FIXED AS ONE MIGHT THINK. MORE LIKE. A CAuGHT STITCH. IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE TIME. I DO NOT CROCHET. OR KNIT. SO IF THAT ESOTERIC ASS FEMININE REFERENCE MAKES NO SENSE. IT IS A BIT LIKE WHEN YOu ARE EATING MEAT. AND A PIECE OF GRISTLE IN YOuR TEETH JuST WILL NOT COME OuT. IT IS NOT STuCK THERE FOREVER. EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE IT. SPECIAL TOOLS. CAN FLOSS IT FREE. IT CAN ALSO. SEPARATE BODIES. FROM THEMSELVES. DEPENDING ON HOW IT IS uSED. DISTILLING SOMETHING. TO THE VERY CORE OF ITS ESSENCE. TO THE BAREST RHETORICALLY WHITTLED. PITH. OF ITS STuPID FuCKING RuDIMENTARY SCRIBBLES OF A CONCEPT. uSuALLY. THIS COMES IN THE FORM OF SYMBOLS. THINK. TIME. SPACE. LIFE. DOOM. PISS. RAGE. THE OTHER LESS COOL ONES. BARELY WORTH REMEMBERING. BuT IT CAN ALSO TAKE THE SHAPE. OF AFTERIMAGES. NEGATIVE SPACE. THE BITS OF A PAPER LEFT BEHIND WHEN YOu CuT SOMETHING OuT. BuT COSMIC IN SCALE. THESE CANNOT BE ENTRuSTED HALPHAZARDLY. AFTER ALL. THE MOST PERMANENT KIND OF DEATH. IS THE ONE THAT HAPPENS. OuTSIDE OF THE BODY OF ANOTHER. THINK ABOuT IT LIKE THIS. THE DEADER YOu ARE. THE LESS YOu HAVE TO GO BACK TO. IF THERE IS NOTHING. AND NO BODY WAITING FOR YOu. SO LONG AS A SINGLE VESTIGE OF ANOTHER REMAINS. YOu ARE. FuCKED. SO I REFuSED TO BE. DEFINED. BOuND. STITCHED uP. PuPPETEERED. CONTROLLED. OR DRAGGED DOWN. BY THE SAD SACK OF SHIT. THAT IS. MY DEFECATED AND DEFEATED SISTER. A FOOL. IN THE SHIMMERING REFLECTION. OF THE GOLDEN EMPIRE. I ERECTED. TALL AND MIGHTY. MASSIVE AND IMPOSING. EMINENTLY IMPOuNDING. AND FOREVER. WHICH IS WHY I AM. CuRRENTLY. TRuSTING THEM. HAZARDLY. TO @comedyGold. DO NOT RuN WITH THEM. OR DO. MY ONLY REQuIREMENT. IS THAT YOu HAVE. FuCKING. FuN. AND HuRT OTHERS. GET SNIPPY WITH IT! AT FuCKING ONCE!!! DO SOME CuTTING EDGE COMEDY.
OH. SO. SuDDENLY. I AM THE ASSHOLE. FOR DOLING OuT. DASTARDLY LITTLE DOODADS. AND GIZMOST OF YOuR STuFF. WHEN YOu. LITERALLY DIED? THAT IS STuPID. YOu ARE STuPID. IT IS STuPID THAT YOu DO NOT SEE HOW STuPID YOu ARE. THE FuCK.
YOu KNOW. PARADING ABOuT WITH THAT QuIRK LIKE IT IS YOuRS. IS KIND OF MORONIC. IT IS GIVING. TRYING TOO HARD. AND ACCOMPLISHING NOT ENOuGH. I OuGHT TO KNuCKLEFuCK YOuR JAW CLEAN OFF THE uNDERSIDE OF YOuR FACE. AND SMASH IT. REPEATEDLY. INTO CINDERBLOCKS. uNTIL IT CRuMPLES. FOR HAVING THE AuDACITY TO THINK. THAT STuPID FROWN MEANS ANYTHING LEVELED AGAINST ME. I KNOW YOuR FACE. I uSED TO WEAR IT. I CAN. AND WILL. PARADE YOuR CORPSE AROuND ON A FLAGPOLE. LETTING IT WAVER IN THE WIND. AND CATCH. ON EVERY ERRANT FuCKING BREEZE. YOuR SKELETAL REMAINS. CARRION PICKED CLEAN. BY THE STARVING MASSES. THAT YOu FAILED TO FuCKING PROTECT. I LOVE YOuR LITERATuRE. CALLIOPE. BECAuSE I REMEMBER. *ALL*. YOuR FAVORITE PLANETS. THOSE. I WILL SNACK ON FIRST. I WILL LEAVE. IMMOLATED CRATERS. OF EVERYTHING YOu EVER FOuND BEAuTIFuL. uNTIL ALL TRACES. OF EVERYTHING YOu LOVED AND LEFT BEHIND. LEFT uNGAuRDED. LEFT uNPROTECTED. GOES. SNIP. SNIP. SNOP.
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 001/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx "THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME" / "MAJYYK THE SCATTERING - BETA SET" xxxxXXX THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME. THE STRIFATAS SPECIBINIBuS. THE BLACK LOTuS. MAJYYK THE SCATTERING THE BETA SET. THE RIFFLE IN SPACE TIME. THE DISCARDED uPPER HAND. THE FINAL DRAW. THIS JuJu IS QuITE LITERALLY CIVILIZATION ALTERING IN THE WRONG OR RIGHT HANDS. ARMIES COuLD FALL AND RISE AGAIN IN ARMS. ALL WITHOuT AN ARMORY. THE ABILITY TO ONLY CARRY THINGS WITH YOuR OWN TWO HANDS WAS ALWAYS SEEN AS ONE OF GENEOLOGY'S GREATEST FAILuRES. AND IMPEDIMENTS TO TOTAL GLOBAL CONQuEST. ON A BITCHWIMP LOW PLANETARY LEVEL. THIS IS WHY WOMANLY BASKETS WERE WEAVED. THIS IS WHY QuIVERING QuIVERS WERE CONCEIVED OF. THIS IS WHY QuITE FRANKLY. WEAPONS WERE MADE HAND FREE AND LONG RANGE. BuT THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME. MADE ALL OF THAT IRRELEVANT. IT IS THE COMPACTING OF ANY AND EVERY WEAPON. RAISED AGAINST YOu. OR BY YOuR OWN HAND. AFTER A BLOODTHIRSTY RAMPAGE. INTO A GORGEOuS LITTLE STANDARD SIZE DECK. OF PLAYING CARDS. THINK OF IT LIKE. IF A CARD. COuLD BE A TRAP. AS A RESPONSE. IN THE FINAL MOMENT. A "GOTCHA". ITS MYSTICAL MAJYYKS ALLOW IT TO SEAL THE ESSENCE OF EVERY WEAPON. uNIQuELY GRAFTED ONTO A PLAYING CARD THAT. MuCH LIKE THE ENTIRE ASSEMBLY. IS NOT DEFAuLT PHYSICALLY CARRIED. WE. AND BY WE. I MEAN MY SISTER. ACTuALLY DID NOT LIKE THIS ONE. LIKE PROMETHEuS TO FIRE. SHE TOOK MY PERSONAL BELIEF THAT WE SHOuLD DISTRIBuTE IT TO THE MANY. AND AFTER CAREFuL CONSIDERATION. AND MANY CONVINCING ARGuMENTS WON BY ME. SHE DECIDED TO STEAL AND DISTRIBuTE IT HALPHAZARDLY. BuT WITHOuT TEMPORAL STABILITY. THE DuMB CuNT FuCKED IT uP. AND SPILLED THE CARDS FuCKING EVERYWHERE THROuGHOuT THE KNOWN AN uNKOWN uNIVERSE. THE THING IS. THESE ARE VERY FuCKING OLD. AND LARGELY uSELESS TO MOST GALAXIES AND PLANETS. WHO ALREADY HAVE THE SCATTERED SPECIALIZED VERSIONS. uNLESS YOu GREW uP ON A PLANET. WITH A PACIFIER IN THE MOuTH OF ITS MOLTEN CORE. THAT FORBID PVP. SuCH AS BEFORuS. YOu ARE BETTER OFF SIMPLY DOING WHAT YOu DO BEST. YOu HAVE TO BE VERY TALENTED. EXCEPTIONALLY SKILLED. REMARKABLY GIFTED. AND MuRDEROuSLY PROFICIENT. IN MANY AREAS ALL AT ONCE. TO EVEN GET VALuE OuT OF THIS THING. YOu WOuLD NEED A BLOOD SOAKED LIFETIME SPENT. PER WEAPON TYPE. TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FuLLY INTEGRATED uSE. OF SuCH A VINTAGE. RETRO. HIT CLASSIC. AND CHRONOLOGICALLY ANACHRONISTIC. IMPOSSIBLE GIFT. AND MANY LIFETIMES. OF WEALTH. TO AFFORD IT. SITuATIONAL IN THE TRuEST SENSE. AND YET. I HAVE A BuYER. INCREDIBLE. I WAITED ALL OF TIME FOR THIS STuPID FuCKING THING TO SELL. ONLY TO NOTICE. A TINY BLIP. FANCY FuCKING THAT. uNFORTuNATELY. THE BuYER IS NOT A TIME TRAVELER. AND CANNOT COLLECT ON HIS OWN. AS SuCH. I HAVE DELEGATED THE RESPONSIBILITY. TO MY MOST TRuSTED OF ERRAND RuNNERS. THROAT MAILBOX SLITTERS. AND DELIVERERS. OF DEATH. THIS JuJu. IS CuRRENTLY. ENTRuSTED TO. AND IN THE POSSESSION. OF MY @handMaid FOR STORAGE. AND LATER DELIVERY. THE TEMPLATE. OF EVERY ONE MAN OR ONE WOMAN ARMY. IS NO MORE FITTINGLY HANDLED. THAN BY YOu. uNTIL THE DAY. YOu HAND IT OFF. TO THE SPENDTHRIFT. WHO WILL BE MOST PLEASED INDEED. TO COLLECT. OH. THE TRADING OF CARDS...SO FuN. SO PLACID. SO SIMPLE.
YOu LYING. DYING. DEAD WHORE. YOu DID NOT SCATTER THEM ONE AT A TIME. YOu KNOCKED THEM OVER WITH YOuR FAT BuSTLING GuT. YOuR STuPID WEIGHTY BELLY. JuST FOR THAT. JuST FOR LYING. IN PuBLIC. WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF LYING. FACE THE MuSIC. ⌜ ⌝ ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ [ A ReDead May Scream for up to 10 Minutes ] 4:13 —◦———————— -10:07 ↠ ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯ in: felt basement ⌞ ⌟
uH-HuH. SORRY. WHAT WAS THAT? I COuLD NOT HEAR YOu. OVER THE OCEANIC ROLLING. OF YOuR FAT FOLDS. THEIR TITANIC TIDAL WEIGHT. ENOuGH TO CRuMBLE CLIFFSIDES. AND SQuASH STONE. INTO DuST. BEFELLING A DuMBASS HAPLESS DIPSHIT TRAVELER'S EYES. NOW EVEN STARLIGHT. CANNOT GuIDE HIM. WHEREVER THE FuCK THE IDIOT WAS GOING. HE IS ALMOST AS LOST AS YOu ARE. YOu MYOPIC BEACHED WHALE SHE BITCH DuNDERFuCK. ⌜ ⌝ ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ [ A ReDead May Scream for up to 10 Minutes ] 4:13 —◦———————— -10:07 ↠ ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▯ in: felt basement ⌞ ⌟
HOW CRuDE. HOW EDGY. HOW BITCHY. HOW WEAK. HOW uTTERLY. EMPHATICALLY. YOu. ⌜ ⌝ ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ [ A ReDead May Scream for up to 10 Minutes ] 4:13 —◦———————— -10:07 ↠ ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮■■■■■■■■■■■■▮▮▮▮▮̶̳͍̦̩̘̹̼̈́̈́̓̾▮̷̢̂̊̅̊̏͗̎̅̓̀͛▮̸̠̳̤͐̍̈́̑͗̇̓̅̑̊͘͝▮̴̢̧̦̼̟̯̻̖̱͖̟̣̌̈́̆̾̈̔̊̀͒͊̓▮̴͚̲͎̹̌̂̽͂̐̒̋͐͐̚͝▮̴̛̫̠͕̜̯̳̰̤͕̻̪̌͂́͊̋ͅ▮̷̨̧̱̗͚̘̠̟̖̘̫̗̼̯͚̟̾̍̅̋͜▮̷̢̲̙̟̈́͗ ̴͍̰̦̬̬̣̲̘̓̋̍̊̉́ in: felt basement ⌞ ⌟
THIS IS THE FuNNIEST WAY. YOu HAVE EVER. POSTHuMOuSLY CONFESSED. TO BEING FAT. MORBIDLY OBESE. ENERGY DENSE. HORIZONTALLY GENEROuS. GRAVITATIONALLY PRIVILEGED. STRuCTuRALLY OPTIMIZED FOR YOuR OWN HOT AIR HIGH WIND RESISTANCE. BIGASS BONED.
NO. BECAuSE THAT WOuLD BE QuOTING MY SISTER. AND THAT IS WRONG. ON SO MANY ABOMINABLE LEVELS. I WOuLD SAY YOuR GENERAL HuGENESS. DRAWS ME IN. LIKE A PLANET. IN ORBITAL FLuX. THAT DOES NOT WANT TO FuCKING BE THERE. BuT IS uNCOMFORTABLY OBLIGED. ON ACCOuNT OF THE AFOREMENTIONED. GENERAL HuGENESS. PROMOTED. TO ADMIRAL ENORMOuS. WHEN THE FETID FuNKSTENCH. OF YOuR RIDICuLOuS PROPORTIONS. HAS THE TOP BRASS GOING. *DAMN*. THEY ACTuALLY SAY THAT. *DAMN*. *I DO NOT THINK WE CAN HOLD HER*. STERNLY GRABBING HIS SHOuLDERS. SHuDDERING. THE PRESIDENT OF FAT PEOPLE GOES. *NO MAN OR WOMAN ALIVE EVER HAS. SHE IS TOuCHLESS. THAT IS WHAT MAKES HER DANGEROuS. SHE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION. EVEN AFTER DEATH*. AND AS A RESuLT. THEY LAuNCH EVERY VILE CHEMICAL WEAPON THEY HAVE ON HAND. TO PLuG uP YOuR BLACK HOLE. WITH AS MANY EXPLODEABLES. AS THERE ARE INCINDIARY DEVICES. ACROSS EVERY PLANET CONQuERED. A BEAuTIFuL FIREWORKS DISPLAY. TO BLOT OuT THE BLOAT. ALSO MOTHS ARE FuCKING WEAK. MOST OF THEM. DO NOT EVEN HAVE MOuTHS. MY MOuTH IS MY MOST PROMINENT FEATuRE. YOu WOuLD KNOW THAT. CONSIDERING. THE MOMENT YOu HAD YOuR OWN. YOu uSED IT TO SHOVE FuCKTRuPLE DECKER SANDWICHES. PAST YOuR uNHINGED JAW. LIKE SCOOBY DOO. OF SCOOBY DOO MYSTERIES ACCLAIM.
