♦ pitied by @arachnidsGrip
~⟢||The Dayshift... still STANGs.||⟣~
:33< i want to take a nap ://< but i think at this point taking a nap would just be going to bed
u know what just for that i want 2 fight u again smh
DO YOU THINK I'VE NEVER SENT A FLIRTY TEXT BEFORE?
THIS EVIL SELF SHIT IS SO FUCKING STUPID, AS IF MOST OF US DIDN'T SPEND SO LONG TRAVERSING THE BUBBLES THAT WE'VE OUTRIGHT *MET* THE WORST VERSIONS OF OURSELVES. HELL, I'VE SEEN THE WORST VERSION OF MYSELF ON THIS PLATFORM! WHAT WOULD 'EVIL KARKAT' EVEN ENTAIL? NOT LIKING ROMCOMS ISN'T AN EVIL TRAIT IT JUST MEANS YOU HAVE A STICK UP YOUR ASS ABOUT SOME SOLID GOLD MEDIA THAT YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN YOU INSIST ON POINTLESS PRIDE.
Just let me be a young adult and make mistakes while I have the chance. I'll be stuck here for billions of years. Can't I be a mess for a little while?
Debating if I listen to my 'fling' and go on what he describes as an 'entirely casual outing' with 'no stakes attached' but 'whatever happens happens.' I am also considering a nickname for him to preserve his anonymity. Perhaps something wizard based for my own amusement.
ON PRINCIPAL I REFUSE TO LET THE #JADEHOUR GO WITHOUT A VANTAS INTERJECTION! IT'S PRACTICALLY FUCKING TRADITION AT THIS POINT THAT ENDLESS WALLS OF BRIGHT GREEN NEED TO BE INTERRUPTED BY VOICE-OF-REASON SLATE GRAY.
I THINK THE BIGGEST CASUALTY OF BEING CREATORS WITH INFINITE MONEY AND THE ALCHEMIZING CAPABILITY TO MAKE WHATEVER WE WANT LITERALLY WHENEVER IS THAT I CAN'T UNLEASH THE GIFTPOCALYPSE THAT I WANT TO ON WRIGGLING DAYS AND TWELFTH PERIGEES EVE. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SHOP FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EVERYTHING? YOU CAN ONLY GIFT EXPERIENCES AND EVEN THEN, WHO THE FUCK WANTS AN ~EXPERIENCE~ WITH KARKAT VANTAS RAGING OVER IT ALL THE TIME. WHO KNOWS. MAYBE I CAN TAKE EVERYONE MINIGOLFING SOMETIME, THAT'S SOME SHIT YOU DO FOR WRIGGLING DAYS, RIGHT?
Much of Uesugi Karkat's early life is completely unknown. Due to his total hemoanonymity over the many sweeps of his time in East Alternia, it cannot be deduced what province, prefecture, or continent he hailed from before his sudden arrival in Trollshiwara, the famous red light district of Troll Edo. What remains consistent is this — he arrived as a foreigner who did not speak the language, seemingly fallen out of the sky and into the cart of a local brothel owner. The owner was purportedly so taken with his boyish beauty and gap moe tsundere personality that he immediately set him to work as a courtesan within his business. It was here that Uesugi Karkat was first referred to by his East Alternian title, the AKATSUKI. Under the strict tutelage of the other courtesans, he learned to dance, sing, play music, pour tea with delicately trembling wrists, feign laughter at unfunny jokes, and weaponize the nape of his nugstalk in the way that an anglerfish lures its prey into its abyssal maw. However, accounts from the other brothel workers say that he was too ornery and foul-mouthed to do any of these things without erupting with rage. He did, however, learn the local language with surprising acuity, and the courtesans were deeply impressed with his natural propensity for writing romantic long-form poetry. Furthermore, rather than selling his concupiscent services as a low-ranking courtesan was expected to, the Akatsuki was supposedly so renowned for his talents as a pale quadrant advisor and ashen mediator that guests of some of the highest castes in Troll Edo sought him out solely for his comfort and advice. No information on the Akatsuki's hemocaste could be discerned during this time, due to never once shedding his genetic material with any customer or courtesan alike. In fact, so preternatural was his ability to touch the pusher of a customer without ever shedding his kimono that within three sweeps, he had already reached the prestigious rank among courtesans of a Boiran (boy oiran), which offered him considerable wealth and empowered him with the right to turn away any offer made in poor taste, even if they were of a higher-blooded caste. It was due to this prestige that he was later discovered by his next wealthy benefactor, who was the leader of a troupe of Grubuki actors, and began his next career as the ONNAGATA. Attached is one of the most popularly sold woodblock-print wall scrolls of his likeness, titled "Delicious Fucking Shit," for the ambiguity of its referral to either the grub-tempura or the courtesan himself. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/17e0aad9aa46.png #uesugikarkat
ANYWAY ENOUGH JADEPOSTING. I'VE BEEN GETTING BACK INTO MY THRESHECUTIONER WORKOUT ROUTINE- IT'S ABOUT TIME I ACTUALLY PUT SOME EFFORT INTO THE IDEA THAT I WANT TO GET STRONGER. FOR THOSE OF YOU QUAKING IN YOUR FUCKING BRITCHES THOUGH- NO, THE FOOD REVIEWS WILL NOT BE GOING ANYWHERE. GETTING FIT DOES NOT MEAN I WON'T BE EATING WHAT THE FUCK I LIKE WHEN I LIKE. I JUST NEED TO DO THESE FOURTY JUMPING JABS BEFOREHAND.
@AeneAsCAldAr|um |s A fuuuuck|ng pA|l|ng god. hesss the ennd All bee All to fuck|ng. not only thAt but hes g|t the bulge to bAck |t up. SPREAK|NG O F BACK|NG |T UP, | wo|ld be fuckk|n HONORED to be speAred open by thAt fffAt fuck|ng th|ng. rAw. nAked. o|led up. fuuck|ng go|ng At |t l|ke wld bArkbeAsts. | dont cAre whAt Antyone hAs 2 sAy: CRONUS AMPORA |S A SA|NT!
I F8CKING H8 MY M8M S8 F8CK8NG M8CH F8CKF8CKF8CKF8CKF8CKF8CKF8CKF8CK #traumatuesday
guess it's just in my fucking bLood to hurt everybody. ........ *8Lood. whatever. i don't care anymore.
Roofs and shit. Am I right?
gETT1NG OUT OF THE HOSP1TAL NOW AND, fEEL1NG GREAT BES1DES, tHE B1G CASTS ON MY LEGS WH1CH ARE VERY MUCH, 1N THE 1NCLUDED P1CTURE WH1CH, mY BUDDY @CAT1ON1CaGON1ST GRAC1OUSLY TOOK FOR ME THAT PROVES, hOW GOOD 1 AM FEEL1NG, HTTPS://CDN.1MGCHEST.COM/F1LES/384074174660.PNG ((SWAMP-LAND @ TUMBLR))
" You Seem Like You've Recovered Well Actually ", Wrong. I Don't Even Touch My Comfort Slab Because It Is Still Unmade From The Last Time He Was In It, And It Still Smells Like Him A Little Bit.
NEVERMINDWHAT I SAID EARLIER THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER
sounds... unconfortablle. ive never been to one.
wELL, i'VE RARELY BEEN IN THEM, bEFORE SO i ASSUMED THEY'D BE BETTER THAN, tHE MEDICAL CARE i RECEIVED ON aLTERNIA, tHAT IS TO SAY, nOT VERY MUCH AT ALL,
i DON'T THINK SO? tHIS IS JUST,,, tOO STERILE, aND WEIRD, aHAHA,,,
i DONT THINK, i LIKE HOSPITALS ACTUALLY,
jADE HOUR? @TIPSYgNOSTALGIC#2248 THEY ARE #JADEBUSTING, wITHOUT US, aND i CAN NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE IF i WANTED TO!!!!!!!!
cAN'T SLEEP }:(
sO i GUESS, i'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A FEW NIGHTS, tHEY'RE GONNA DO A SURGERY ON MY LEGS TO, pUT SOME STUFF IN THERE? sO THAT, iS COOL,
not noww kitten daddy is wworkshoppin names for his most destructivve energy based attacks
gRACIAS, tÚ TAMBIÉN,
tHANKS BUT, i RECOVER FAST, i'M SURE i'LL JUST, wALK IT ALL OFF, eHEHE,
i RECOVER FAST, iT'S FINE }:)
hOPITAL
[A video showing Tavros's spear stabilized while the world around spins wildly. She seems to be rapidly approaching an airborne vriska.] aHEHJEJR.URI J USHWSHIENEN JEJCURJ JR. HEH RISK USHWHUSRUWJQOWISN JADHFJCJ BABSCBWJIW, @ARACHNIDSgRIP#9137
sometimes i feel a smidgen pitch for the moirail homie because they actually just say the most jackass of things and piss me off so bad for a moment but then i change my mind and realize I'm just being stupid because neither of us are truly into each other like that.
you absolute BITCH you couldnt at least blur out the blood for the sake a beautiful and sensitivve nubhorned young men that are still pointlessly hemoanon out here unfortunately or perhaps fortunately i am goin to havve to punish you for this gore a my comfort character meet me on the ampora islands (film location for total drama interdimensional airdate TBD) in 15 minutes for an ass kickin
I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A FORMAL APOLOGY TO @HANDMAID, MISS DAMARA MEGIDO OF THE FELT SYNDICATE FOR MY EARLIER BEHAVIOR. I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE THROES OF ONE MIGHT CALL A MOMENT OF FRUSTRATION TO UNRELATED AFFAIRS AND MAY HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE TOO BIG FOR MY BRITCHES. I'M REALLY SORRY, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME SIGNED, KARKAT VANTAS.
ALSO FOR MY NEXT WATCH THROUGH CAN THE FELT LIKE THE ENTIRE FELT NOT INVADE AND TAKE OVER, PLEASE? I DON'T WORK THERE, I DON'T WORK FOR YOU, I THINK YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS IS ABOUT AS DISREPUTABLE AS THEY COME. INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS MAY ATTEND BUT NOT ON THE CLOCK.
Tickets in the Splash Zone for tomorrow night's Return to Da Patch are selling out fast. Better act soon if you want an up close and personal view of the action. Take my word for it-- the opening show is one you won't want to miss. #rumble #rumblenight #imcoming
JUST BE GLAD IT WASN'T YOUR FUCKING RECUPERACOON. TOUCH MY FOOD AGAIN AND THE RETRIBUTION WILL BURN YOU ALIVE.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/61e5cb659e6e.gif
You've been wanting it. You've been waiting for it. You've been begging so sweetly that we had no choice but to give it to you. We're going back to Da Pumpkin Patch for a rambunctious returning Rumble this Thursday evening. We've got pounds upon pounds of prime beef, oil by the barrel, and a special opening act that'll have you wishing you'd paid for tickets in the Splash Zone. More details to come. Be there. #imcoming #rumble #rumblenight
Coincidence, I'm sure.
⚓︎ stop pityin my posts fr
SOMETIMES HAUNTING SHADOWS WILL WEAR THE FACES OF YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT AND MOVE ON LIKE ITS FINE.
WAIT, NO. HANG ON.
MAYBE I WILL. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT, LARDAAS. SO RIGHT NOW, I CHOOSE TO SEE YOU AS A DEEP DISH EARTH-C-HICAGO-STYLE PIZZA. AND WE BOTH KNOW *FULL* WELL WHAT A KARKAT CAN DO TO ONE OF THOSE.
WHOEVER THIS "ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR" IS, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE RUMBLESPHERE-TWISTING CONUNDRUM OF SIMULTANEOUSLY DELIGHT AND DISGUST AT YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THE CLEARLY RELIGIOUS, ALBEIT DISTURBINGLY *CHARGED* EXPERIENCE YOU HAD SMASHING YOUR SLAVERING MAW AGAINST THAT MOLTEN PUPA POOL OF PIPING HOT, DAIRY-THICK ENLIGHTENMENT. AND I WISH I COULDN'T. BUT READING THIS CAUSED THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH TO TICK *ONE* DEGREE UPWARD. I APPROVE.
FUCK YOU!!! STAND STILL! STOP USING YOUR WINGS ITS FUCKING CHEATING!
so are you comin or not
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9d79cc529c12.png you are not ready but you wwill havve to be #thursday #rumble #itscoming #returnoftheprince
wwait a second https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c086ce81b1d1.png
#dirkjake #jakedirk #morelike #eridirkjake #rankbait
WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP!
Grab your britches and tighten your belts- the rumblethon-a-rama is set to blow your briefs plum OFF until youre sitting in your skivvies thinking... *shucks* these guys are going at each other hardcore. Were going BACK TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH. Skipping hump day and sliding straight to tussletime thursday! You havent seen oil like this since #eridanweek... and whos to say i wont be taking two princes once more? Fit to make the last set of wicked heels look like damn tubby time. Two for two in a one on one youll never guess what weve got stocked in the back! Well have MUSIC and RHYMES and best of all... two chuckleheads going railing hard as all get out on each other until the fat lady SINGS. Yowzers!!! Someone turn OFF the heat because this whole shindig is about to be FIRE. Be there or be square... more deets in the works so #watchthisspace! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/beee53c3eedb.gif
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
D --> Eating provided leftovers from the masquerade is an %tremely important duty
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part deux. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/60fe1ab7fc3f.png
i made a solemn promise to myself that this fiscal quarter wwould be the one wwhere i swwear off yearnin (dubious success) but a cigarette though #needthat
why am i getting an ominous and vriska themed vibe.
#fishingfriday #fitcheck as our wweekly foray into maritime recreation drawws to a close (wwith nary evven a single damn post in the tag wwtf is wwrong wwith you guys) i am once again carryin on the tradition a furnishin you all wwith photographic commemoration a the day i had out on the wwater "the fishing wwas good. it wwas the catching that wwas bad" -barak trollbama https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c8f1e58286f7.png off to the masquerade
What is this. Who sent this to me. What does it even mean. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c85d6579cb53.png
Unreal Heiress, play Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.
I hear the pleas of the masses. But the solution here is NOT more wanton violence. No matter how you may strike this miserable starving poonhound, you will not deter him from the table! ... There is only one weapon left in my artillery. A single lethal projectile by which to silence this fool.
THANK you, Cronus. This goes to show you that no one is beyond education. ... Is something burning? OH, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.
... :(
Just get off my post.
Crockercorp. One word, you disappointing fucking dullard. Also- the "BOARD OF DIRECTORS?" What reality are YOU dwelling under the funk of wherein OUR namesake corporation is run by ANYTHING other than our own private equity? You haven't bought back your own fucking stock? The bootstraps are for PULLING ONESELF UPWAYS, not tangling around your own gullet like an unobserved toddler stumbling into the window shades! :B But let us be quite frank with ourselves, shall we? You are cognitively ROTTING under the yoke of that contraption. You will never aspire to anything greater than burrowing mouth-first into your empress' shoe leather like a rat trying to find fresh air. And good gravy, that is ok! I have now thoroughly observed you. Beneath the heel of a more intelligent superior is precisely your niche, Jane. Hold on tight to that shelter, because we can all see VERY APPARENTLY that you do not have the chops for upper management.
An official statement on my rendezvous with @aeneasCaldarium. He joined me at the Crocker estate for supper, and we had a long, civil adult discussion on the subjects he erroneously ascribed to MY person in his sloppy pursuit of my alternates. I took great care to wipe that slate clean and to reeducate him (VERBALLY) on the state of my interests and endeavors. He was... more than receptive to my revisions. :| Then he left! I wholeheartedly accept the apology and corrected statement that followed. And that is all she wrote, buster!
Regrettably.
@gutlessGorturer Alrighty. Let us dispense with the pretense of pleasantry, here. I am going to shift to a lower gear NOT in retreat, but in response to what you must assume is a well-calculated assessment of my person. Some minor concessions. That I stress test my alternates and peers for low-risk data by which I may color my own upward momentum. Such is the necessary vehicle of self-improvement when one has blown off the training wheels and is shakily keeping upright of their own volition- something you know nothing about!! Also, they need a little pushing. It's good for them, and for you. Or it would be, if you weren't too augmented to make use of peer feedback. :P Anyhow, that is where your potency as a social saboteur falls to a fizzling, flat failure. Now on to your points in order. 1.) "Biological clock." Nonexistent. Someone tell this dizzy broad that MY ova are EVER-replenished. Frankly, you ought to know this if YOUR spawncannon is as fruitful as it must be for you to attack MY lack of reproductive bounty. I had better watch the accordion-fold print of YOUR legion of heiresses SPILL from your wallet. LET'S SEE UNREAL HEIRESS' LITTER. The mother hen scratches herself a proper nest before letting loose! I have AS LONG AS I'D LIKE to situate that space before engaging in Phase Two. 2.) You have narrated the cycle of behaviors in my posts. Congratulations. With effort, you might bust out of your CURRENT toady britches of absolute servitude and land a gig in the social media department at MY headquarters! Oh, wait, no. These are the baseline double-digit IQ observations of essentially anyone on the platform who performs a regular check-in on my page. Congratulations rescinded. 3.) I "speak like a CEO" because I am a CEO, who is electing voluntarily to share my personal opinions on certain matters on my PERSONAL SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE. If I were any battier on the main feed, it would be a disservice to my accomplishments in the court of public opinion. Again, a cavelike simplicity to the logic you wield. Could we wake up the SUPERcomputer? I fear my genetic neighbor is burning the interior of the TI-84 she's got banging around up in that empty coconut! 4.) I am a conduit of raw Creation and those properties of Life are mine to "abuse," although I take issue with your liberal application of the word. No jokes here. I am simply going to continue doing what I want! :B 5.) (To the reader: she counted my posts. What a fucking loonybird.) YOU have posted [TOO MANY] times, comprising a quantity I refuse to dignify with an actual figure. Whatever quantity of blithering has escaped your flapping mouth has run past the dadgum fill line. 6.) Eridan Week was in fact spectacular. We are eclipsing into a rare alignment of ideals for this brief moment. Bask in the shadow of my footsteps and see how much wiggle-room you've got yet to fill on those toes. 7.) Again with the a-words. Assault? I have a towering stack of liability waivers that beg to differ. Also missing the strategic point of that night and the greater event as a whole, which doesn't surprise me. You are such a dogmatic black hole that no humor may escape your gaze with ANY remaining merit, even the shroud of joviality over actual gamepiece movement! 8.) I LOATHE being subjected to the fumbling of an individual wearing my face and name. In your case, I'll give you a pass, because you've been rendered little more than an enforcer, and at that task within your own chronology I'm sure you're quite successful. I do not SELF-loathe. This is an inaccurate interpretation of my deeper motivations spawned by YOUR artificial imperative to get me on board with your Ponzi hubbub. Durr. On the off chance that these insults are being relayed strictly for guffaws (which I doubt), you're equally missing the mark. Missy, I have got your number as well as you think you've got mine. At the end of the day, I have BEEN you. You have never been me! One day, when the circlet falls from your scalp and the scales from your eyes, I will accept your blubbering apology in the form of your face mashed against the polished marble of my executive office floors. And then perhaps, PERHAPS, in the name of sisterhood, I will drop you a couple of pointers. Or maybe you'll just die like that OTHER Jane, tormented in biological inauthenticity and so augmented that her tether to Life itself pinched shut in utter rejection of her fate. But trust. It's one or the other for you. :B
... Thank you.
Legislation on Earth-C has officially outlawed the sale of all unauthorized, counterfeit materials bearing my likeness, including toys and other various silly comfortstuffs. Farewell and good riddance, "Janunu." https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/77469c7a3c16.png
you got to have a sense of humor about these things!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN PARODY PLAY.
ndkdksjswhememrr try my yfickclfkgnt FUCKCIGNF TTEETH. HEADDKD¥|¥.¥~\¥&7..& #HOSNKXMK.
hot hot hot hothtojtotjtotitptjrotjrotjtptjtojo. HOT.
If Anything I Would Simply Prefer They Do Whatever They Call This Kind Of Overly Graphic Caliginous Parody Play Somewhere Else Any Place We All Wont Be Unwittingly Subjected To It In The Middle Of The Workday Would Be Ideal
Am I glad he's baked in there, and that we're out here- - MC Oleana
:33< i want to watch :33< but all of this makes me distinctly nervous fur some reason!!! :33< *the mighty huntress rubs her arms with unease* :33< i think i might go to my pile #dashwatching
[ A photo is attached. A selfie. Gamzee is reclining in a luxurious, gold-clawed tub, made of the finest marble. His smile is still on his face, much more placid now. His eyes, though bulging and one completely covered in purple, are calm. His hair is wet and weighed down, dripping a vaguely purple water as he looks into the camera. His torso is naked, glossy with water and stains of dried blood, bite marks and bruises. Behind him is a very blurry, metallic object swinging down for his skull. ] #gore #nsfw #nsfwe #violence
Jane- I mean. Miss Crocker. Aren't you giving him too much attention...?
DON'T YOU WORRY. YOUR FAMILIARITY WITH THE INTERIOR OF KITCHEN APPLIANCES IS ABOUT TO SPREAD BEFORE YOU LIKE A VAST NEW TERRITORY. YOU ARE NOT GOING IN THE FRIDGE. I WILL MAKE YOU BEG ME FOR THE COOL REPRIEVE OF THE CRISPER DRAWER. BUSTER, WE ARE HAVING GAMBURGER HELPER FOR DINNER! YOU'RE GOING HEAD FIRST INTO THAT FUCKING OVEN!!!!! #nsfw #violence #gore
wait the oven.
OBEY. SUBMIT. CONSUME. __________________________________ Industrial oven preheated to 500 Fahrenheit. __________________________________ EMBRACE YOUR CULLING. CONFORM TO SOCIAL ORDER. STAY ASLEEP.
i hear her coming. I THINK SHE'S DRAGGING THE AXE FROM THE FIRE EMERGENCY KIT. she wants me, brothers. i'm about to get my shit cut in half i can tell. HONK.
Oh. Don't you worry. Your hello-nurse is ON THE WAY.
i cant rly stop her but..... :(
You cannot be this oblivious.
NO I MOST CERTAINLY AM F-ING NOT FEELING BETTER!!!!
MY NAME IS JAKE.
Oh. Whoopsies! I saw a comment under your name and jumped the fricken shark thinking it was just you playing mind games with me by misspelling my name on purpose! Egg on my face compadra i sure do wish i could retract that epic blunder.
mAYBE i SHOULD START, pICKING FIGHTS,,,
Oh, I'm sure. ::::) He does have to kill me though so if he succeeds you've gotta get him 8ack.
I did not crucify "a guy." I crucified Eridan, in a dedicated religious ceremony, both as an employer concerned with his professional development, AND... as a friend. A friend who determined he deserved it.
GOD FUCKING REAL THOUGH! You'd think there'd be even a MODICUM of yearning on the screen but no! Just quips! Quips for days!
I TRY TO GIVE ALL MEDIA A FAIR SHAKE BUT I JUST CAN'T KEEP SITTING THROUGH THESE AWFUL FUCKING MARVEL MOVIES. WITH ALL THE FANFICTION IT SPAWNED YOU'D THINK THERE'D BE EVEN A SLIGHT INKLING OF ANY OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS THE FICS PURPORT?? THESE PEOPLE ARE SO STARVED OF MEDIOCRE YAOI THAT THEY'RE SEEING FUCKING DESERT MIRAGES. SOMEONE GET THEM WATER BEFORE THEY HALLUCINATE MORE AND JOIN THE LEAGUES OF PEOPLE WHO IMAGINE I'M SECRETLY IN AN ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP WITH [INSERT ANY OTHER CREATOR HERE]
OF FUCK1NG COURS3 SOM3ON3 R3L4T3D TO H3R WOULD H4V3 SUCH 4SS T4K3S HOLY SH1T
- Well, on mmy end of the wipe-end victory thing there's this guy I've always wanted to see experience a little good ol' fashioned, all-Alternian torture... 😆😆 And, LOL, guess what. 🫢 - They are FINALLY torturing himm. 🤣🤣😁😁😁👏👏👏 #WINNING
clearly a sign im doing something wrong if im dealing with these creeps on the regular.
wwait this is really true if you think about it
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f72822301b37.png - MC Oleana
is anybody mad at me
@CALIGULASAQUARIUM KEEPS DOING SPINNING SLASH IN CROWDS OF ENEMIES. SAYING "I'M LITERALLY DARTH MAUL." WHAT COULD HE MEAN BY THIS.
Its just funny t0 me that when i say "i d0nt want t0 attend the 0rgy" pe0ple tell me "its 0kay if y0u d0nt participate, y0u can just watch" instead 0f "yeah y0u d0nt have t0 c0me" Like did every0ne f0rget that was an 0pti0n #nsfw
I know we don't always get along. Like when I forgot to bring your favorite toXic waste. Or when you crushed my first two-wheeled travel apparatus with your large body. Or when you accidentally ate my favorite pair of Slewboutins. But I'm thankful for you, nonetheless. I won't belabor the sentimentality, as I know we'd both rather be flayed and dunked into hot oil. Happy #LususDay, dumpmother. I hope you enjoy your gift. #LususReveal #MyLusus https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7500b3ad0dfc.png - MC Oleana
or bring eridan they wwould cowwer at the sight a my aura ceasin all hostilities (im literally the prince of peace)
this is wwhy i should of been allowwed to come along for protection but nobody listens to eridan
Raaararraauuuaaaauuaghghgghgggghhgh!
Tavros Why
if you say so
dont act like i didnt receivve an immediate followw back my face card nevver fuckin declines
cant go three minutes on this platform wwithout catchin strays ffs
It is the burden that all gifted with the crown must bear.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f0a594743aad.png #vvaguechit #blockedagain #formyhumor #and #mywwit #mycurse
all the time sister
Thats Super
I WILL GIVE 0NE C0MPLIMENT T0 THE CUEBALL. AND THE 0VERALL SITUATI0N: MY CUE NEEDLES ARE BADASS. (THEY W0ULD BE FAR M0RE BADASS. IF I C0ULD KILL HIM WITH THEM.)
just bc an ampora agrees doesnt IMMEDIATELLY make it wrong. a llot of you peoplle ARE weird and pathetic about it smh
i actually didnt wwrite this one you guys
At This Point I Think Her New Taste For Indie Records Has Much More To Do With Things Generally Than It Ought To
:33 < i wanna pail my meowrail
D —-> Would do it again in a heartbeat #serketposting
▲never saw a vriska post that didnt make me think she never got the talk from her lusus▼
D--> Serkets are something. I never had a particularly close relationship with my own Vriska outside of the physical pro%imity and the fact she enlistened me into projects which all had a common theme of helping her at no benefit to myself. Though...I cannot state definitively there were not some...emotional...benefits...working with someone so close and yet so far from my caste at the same time.... Of course such b100d relative thinking no longer has sway over me. But the conte%t is important.
D--> My finger slippeed how do you remove the rechitt this darn slolpery touchscreen.
It Is Not A Decision I Relish In It Wasnt Easy To Make By Any Means Its Just I Dont Even Know Where I Would Start Its Like Some Kind Of Endless Silk Scarf Of Beguilement Slipping Out Of My Hands As Soon As I Think Ive Grasped It It Falls From All Manner Of Comprehension It Slips From My Fingers And Am Left Perilously Confused And In Perpetuity It Just Kind Of Continues To Happen Over And Over
hMM,,, i THINK i WOULD LIKE IT IF, nO ONE BESIDES THE INTENDED RECIPIENT, lOOK AT MY NEXT POST, pLEASE, cAN EVERYONE PROMISE TO DO THAT FOR ME? cAN WE BE COOL?
h0ld on let me c0nsult my ancestor f0r wisdom 0r clout chasing: 0o0o0o - TA: don't get 2tuck iintwo a fuckiing 2hiip2 helm CA: yes ancest0r TA: don't get iinvolved wiith p2ychotiic fii2h women CA: ... i'm trying and that's what c0unts right? TA: not at all. 2tupiid iidiiot.
chargin up my eridan beam
do you think that just because youre lesbian it makes that sentence any less pathetic
How do I unrepost this.
Hard to compete with the top-of-the-line content on #PlushRump when we're trying to fill #ad space. I do what I can to stand out. #Workposting #NSFW #NSFWorkposting. https://i.ibb.co/SXF7MP93/image.png
EVERY TIME I HUMOR ERIDAN, I AM MET WITH MORE CONFUSION AND MILD IRRITATION.
@sburbDevv just droppin my humble prince of hope suggestion here howw about a secret mode you can activvate that causes consorts to drop loot im thinkin this wwould uncomplicate the gameplay loop for players that just wwanna grind #gaming #suggestions #sgrub
i understand :) i used t0 feel that way t00
i want t0 l00k at vriska and tell her i f0rgive her and want her t0 be happy and that i l0ve her and watch her face g0 flush with anger because i d0nt c0here with her w0rldview #blackr0m #serketp0sting
travversin out into the dark forest and performin the arcane incantations for locate pages
Ugh. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath. So, fine. I suppose I can no longer deny you. Get me to 10k Kult, and I'll post #NSFW of myself. I've already booked a photorturegrapher for the occasion. #Girlboss #WomenInSTEM #WomenOutOfPocket - MC Oleana
SOME unanticipated hurdles in transporting some of the TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND INTERDIMENSIONAL contestants from their home dimensions to Earth-C, but trust we will emerge from behind these minor roadblocks victorious! Chryss has been running point guard on congratulating our contestants on their entry, but I'll be delivering the remainder of those messages this evening. Keep your eyes peeled.
#MacroCullsmos #BrandLoyalty #Professionalism #MyBoss https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c2312ea7389c.png - MC Oleana
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/124938d8f9fa.png
@timaeusTestified#0414 do you think your soulbreaker lightnin and my hopeblasts wwould beam clash
Only one way to find out, bro.
bro roof noww bring hal
ITS HAPPENING
O M F GGFGGGGGGGGGGF
paltry shit like "mana" or "spell slots" or "blood sacrifice" is meaninless to the likes a yours truly i just wwiggle my princely fronds and reality submits to my decree
BLU)()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()( im fucking restless i gotta beat the slime outta someone at the competition or somefin
ponderin my orb right noww
I've still yet to discover an iteration of myself I like better than the one who was, and I quote, "Married to Freddy Fazbear." We've bridged the gap from believability into full-on novelty at that point. MORE, I say. Get stupider while you're at it. You may accuse me of sarcasm all you want, but I happen to miss her every single day. Shine on, you beautiful ninny.
Oleana, you truly are a hopeless troll... - MC Oleana
i WASN'T MAKING FUN OF HIM,,, i THOUGHT HE'D LIKE AN OLD TIMEY, tRICKSY GUY OUTFIT, sINCE EVERYONE WAS PROBABLY GONNA ASK FOR CUTE GIRL STUFF,,, #VAGUEPOSTING
im as much a enlightened skeptic as the next eridan but it comes to a certain point wwhere you got to look at all the frolicsome reality bendin capers wwe get up to and the fact that i got flippin superpowwers and recognize that evven if theres some mechanistic material explanation of howw im evvokin death rays from my fingertips or conjurin brain ghost eridans its really just a matter a howw youre wwillin to portray yourself in light a that all this to say magic is real and im a wwizard there i said it #vvaguechit
Rest assured that once you DO receive some official Crocker family portraiture, it will NOT be me sporting one measly half-feathered hellspawn. In fact, what you OUGHT to picture is a room-stifling crowd of well-bred heirs and heiresses. FORGET the Quiverfull. Mother's loading another mag. She's about to riddle the streets with twenty more. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4ead170a8217.PNG
@caligulasAquarium this is the best #megid0may ever thank y0u eridan https://cdn.imgchest.c0m/files/0670080aab1e.png
DELETE THIS POST I WAS LOBOTOMIZED.
... I suppose I like that you... ... Er. The hair is- nice. It looks like a big old handlebar mustache on my dome. ... Gamzee has kindly decided to dress up for the event. In a cocktail dress. I see. This is about the level of abomination I anticipated from this spawn strictly drawing from my own shallow perceptions of the name, so sure. A nice caricature of the worst timeline. Good... Good job. Bully for you. It's going right on the fridge... bottom. The underbelly of the fridge. That is where human beings store their MOST treasured possessions.
"wwhat a troll actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the strivving and struggling for some goal wworthy of him" -troll vvictor frankl 48 minutes howw is evveryone enjoyin that #gala thing https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/16de8d4d64df.png @oleanderSupernovva get fucked #business #wwar #anime
- Okay, haha..mm, I will develop mmore shamme. I'mm SORRY. I didn't know they were filmming those parts. - Oleanaaaa😂😂🥹
What the fuck was I going on about flan for.
i think its becoming counterculture at this point to be a time player that *doesnt* indulge in things like this #vagueposting #dashwatching
naut to sound like serket 1 here but goin god tier is moor of a process than just biting the dust on a slab and i KNO some of you chumps didnt climb no echeladder to the tip top
WHAT THA FUCK!!!!!
WTFFFFFFFF
My pals are crazy! Everyones off their rocker and zanier than all get out. One nut short of a christmas fruitcake with all the fixings. Its just you and me left uncrazy in this doggone world and frankly... im starting to get my doubts about you.
#CanItRunHAL: Easily. https://i.ibb.co/ycXZcsbw/Can-It-Run-HAL.gif @gutsyGumshoe @timaeusTestified#0414
cONGRATS, wAIT WHAT,
That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
A RAPID FIRE SUMMATION OF MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS METHODS OF CAKE DECORATION. Part two of ???. Did I say rapid fire? I meant colonial musket speed. This one's going to be a compilation. Lambeth deserved his own post for reasons I hope are self-explanatory. SEPARATED TIER CAKES are most commonly depicted as VINTAGE WEDDING CAKES. You can probably imagine for yourself my reaction to the transformation of a fully edible dessert into something half-plastic, rendered more of a decorative centerpiece. Actually feels like a concession in luxury and labor. But trust me when I say it is nothing compared to those enormous wedding cakes made almost entirely of frosted styrofoam minus the base portion to be cut by the bride and groom. On all that is holy, there is a special place in Hell awaiting those who partake in THAT dullheaded custom. ... I do so love those vintage wedding toppers. Always pictured my own. ... Started doodling. Got distracted. MOVING ON. On the flip side, MINIMALIST CAKES. Can be frosted smoothly without the additional frills, perhaps with a simple texture. May only be crumb-coated. May only be jam-filled with frosting, fruit, or powdered sugar on top. If you were going for rustic- congratulations, you've arrived. If your goal was elegance, you had better hope and pray for a surgeon's hands as you smooth those edges. The well-made cake, inherently, is already a beautiful artifact. It is the natural instinct not to want to make up that which already sports perfect bone structure. Hat on a hat. Some people are into the hat-stacking dealie, if certain fatherly forums are to be believed, but let us give props to doing just enough and no more than that. ARGH. I keep looking at wedding cake toppers. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7e73372b1570.png
#IYKYK,,,
yAY, mY FRIENDS ARE BECOMING FRIENDS!
... I'd like that.
Just watched Together with Alison Brie and Dave Franco. I still can't tell how I feel about that ending. :( Why couldn't they simply have gotten married in the beginning. A girl guts herself open to take the onus of the proposal into her own hands (#girlboss #doitinfrontofpeople #sohecantsayno) and they drag her through ALL OF THAT? ... Poor thing. What a lump of dead weight they saddled her with.
↗️AND YET, YOU READ ALMOST 10K CHARACTERS OF BOSSPRAISE.↗️ ↘️which means i have won, and occupied valuable panspace and time you will never get back.↘️
↘️i am so sorry for not being able to catch this image the second it was posted.↘️ ↗️I WAS LOCKED IN, MISTER AMPORA.↗️ ↘️but i am about to paint you an illustrious image.↘️ ↗️PICTURE ME, AN OFFICEDRONE↗️ ↘️(not like that)↘️ ↗️CREATING A SPREADSHEET TO PROPERLY ORGANIZE THE CHANGING SHIFTS OF MY LESSER COWORKERS.↗️ ↘️the trolls they scrape off the floor at nutrient consumption establishments and put to labor, as if they are capable of any thought higher than "i need to wake up tonight and suckle down a puck-shaped meat patty of debatable tenderness and also succulence."↘️ ↗️NOT ENTIRELY UNSIMILAR TO THE ALGAE AND THE OTHER MICROORGANISMS ADHERED TO YOUR BOAT.↗️ ↘️what i would give to be there with you.↘️ ↗️FOR POSSIBLY THE FIRST TIME IN MY SEVERAL SOLAR SWEEPS SPENT BASKING IN MY EMPLOYMENT, I AM WISHING I COULD FORSAKE IT ALL.↗️ ↘️i would literally give anything to be there.↘️ ↗️THE FIRST THING I AM NOTICING ABOUT THIS IMAGE IS NOT EVEN THE REFINED CLOTHING↗️ ↘️or lack thereof↘️ ↗️IT IS THE CRISP, UNDERSTATED LUXURY OF A GOOD SHIP.↗️ ↘️you have removed yourself from the color pallet typically denoting the royal lineage of your blood color.↘️ ↗️FORESAKEN THE TYPICAL SCHEME ASSOCIATED WITH THE RULING CLASS IN LIEU OF OPTING FOR HIGH VISIBILITY OPTICS AND A MORE MUTED, UNDERSTATED SENSE OF REGALITY.↗️ ↘️in removing the violet, you have only managed to make its presence more prominent.↘️ ↗️BY CONTRASTING YOUR FORM AGAINST THE PALE, STURDY FIGURE OF BOTH THE SHIP↗️ ↘️and that hunk of squishy, biologically inferior but ultimately still capable and vastly more responsible, human male meat↘️ ↗️YOU HAVE FURTHER STATED YOUR SOCIAL INFLUENCE AND INNATE BULB OF BUSINESS WITHOUT EVEN SAYING ANY WORDS.↗️ ↘️by lowering yourself, you have ascended.↘️ ↗️BY BEING STILL, YOU HAVE DONE IT ALL.↗️ ↘️you have fought a war without even lifting one of your muscular, strong prongs outward to command your army of underclassmen and pieces of bloodshed fodder to do your bidding.↘️ ↗️BUT YOU WOULD NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO TELL THAT MUCH, THE STARK LINE OF MUSCULATURE THAT EXTENDS FROM THE FLARE OF YOUR GILLS TO THE SLOPE OF YOUR TRUNKONOUS PECTORALS, STATING THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING BUT SOME KIND OF PASSIVE, LAZY MONARCH.↗️ ↘️you are an active ruler, an antagonist against those bathing themselves in the water of funemployment.↘️ ↗️A GREAT OCEAN FINBEAST, WITH ROWS OF FANGS SO NUMEROUS THAT THE ONLY THING I AM LEFT SAYING IS↗️ ↘️"we need a bigger boat."↘️ ↗️YOU ARE SMELLING BLOOD IN THE WATER, AN APEX PREDATOR WITH THE HONED PHYSIQUE AND BIOLOGY TO BACK IT UP.↗️ ↘️an essence of vicious business acumen that is sure to send every feeble investor and lesser-panned predator alike quivering in the wake of your attentions.↘️ ↗️YOU ARE MAKING WAVES, BOTH LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY, KNOCKING DOWN PROSPECTIVE ENEMIES BEFORE THEY HAVE EVEN DEIGNED TO↗️ ↘️foolishly↘️ ↗️RAISE THEIR WEAPONS AGAINST YOU.↗️ ↘️now, there is little in this image to dissect in regards to your fashion.↘️ ↗️I AM TYPICALLY QUICK TO PICK OUT THE FLATTERING CUTS OF MATERIAL, THE CURVATURE OF YOUR TAILORED UNIFORM, THE LOWLIGHTS THAT ARE TURNED INTO HIGHLIGHTS BY THE CAREFULLY MANUFACTURED AND CORPORATE IMAGE YOU HAVE BEEN PORTRAYING IN TANDEM WITH THE EVER-FLATTERING MISS CROCKER.↗️ ↘️you have bowed your crown, but it is solely for adjusting.↘️ ↗️HER DEDICATED, STRONG GRASP CAREFULLY ARRANGING THE PROVERBIAL, ORNATE GEMSTONES OF YOUR HEIRLOOM HATCHRIGHT.↗️ ↘️she possesses many of the traits that you do, a composition of two complete portfolios that has my coffers sweating preemptively at the idea of your↘️ ↗️LUCRATIVE DEALINGS.↗️ ↘️i cannot imagine what goes on behind the vertical support structures of your workblock.↘️ ↗️BUT I LITERALLY WISH WITH ALL OF MY PUSHER THAT ONE NIGHT I AM ABLE TO BE BROUGHT UP TO YOUR LEVEL↗️ ↘️temporarily ascended from the bottom by your firm, broad, guiding, principled, reassuring, smooth, capable, unyielding grasp↘️ ↗️TO "SIT IN" WHILE THE BIG BARKBEASTS DISCUSS PLOTS I CANNOT EVEN CONCEPTUALIZE↗️ ↘️let alone realize↘️ ↗️ON MY OWN TIME.↗️ ↘️i am salivating at the notion, my bodily excretions churning with the sluggish pumping of my↘️ ↗️THRUMMING BLOODPUSHER.↗️ ↘️like i was saying, there is little to denote about this particular serving of fashion and prestige.↘️ ↗️EVERYTHING IS LAID OUT IN ITS MOST SIMPLISTIC FORM, A FAVOR DONE TO ALL TREMBLE-NODED LESSERS.↗️ ↘️our thoughtsponges cannot process an overwhelming amount of information, and you are literally so gracious as to sample us only bite-sized morsels of what we are granted the privilege of witnessing.↘️ ↗️YOU ARE SERVING UP LOOKS ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS.↗️ ↘️and i am living for it.↘️ ↗️I AM CHAMPING AT THE BIT FOR MORE, BUT YOU ARE RESPECTFULLY STRIPPING AWAY EVERY FROUGHT ASPECT WITH THE KINDEST REGARDS TO MY FLOUNDERING THOUGHTCAVERN.↗️ ↘️i do not know where i would be if it weren't for you, but i shudder to imagine.↘️ ↗️WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME I WILL TAKE IN BOTH OPEN FONDLEPLANES AND DENOTE WITH AS FEW, SUCCINCT, ACUTE SENTENCES AS POSSIBLE.↗️ ↘️i do not want to make this "hypepost" overly wordy, as we all know that your caegar-squandering unpaid interns cannot possibly possess the IQ points necessary to read this.↘️ ↗️MUCH LESS TAKE IT ALL INTO THEIR DIGESTION CHAMBER AND RUMINATION GLAND FOR A PROPER BREAKDOWN OF THE STAUNCH WORDS OF TRUTH I AM SPITTING LIKE A WAD OF CHEWED RUBBER MASTICATION DEVICES ONTO THE GRASS.↗️ ↘️i have come to understand that "earth c", the planet you are calling home is devoid of all alternian glories↘️ ↗️BARRING YOUR CASTE-DESIGNATED FEATS OF DOMINATION AND ALSO CLASS↗️ ↘️but i can literally only imagine that your slackluster office staff's pans have been corroded by acid rain.↘️ ↗️LITERALLY SO MISFORTUNATE.↗️ ↘️the cut of your pure black swim trousers is possibly one of the most flattering i have ever seen.↘️ ↗️LIKE A WINDING RIVER THROUGH CHISELED, GREY ROCKS, GLISTENING WITH A SHEEN OF WATER↗️ ↘️and in your case↘️ ↗️ALSO PROBABLY SWEAT FROM THE HOT, BEATING HEAT OF EARTH'S UNBEARABLE BUT ULTIMATELY WALKABLE SUN↗️ ↘️i can track your line of influence.↘️ ↗️FROM THE STAUNCH JUT OF VIOLET THAT INFLECTS YOUR CLASS, DOWN THE GENTLE DIVOT OF YOUR BULGING PECTORAL LIFTMUSCLES, OVER THE LANDSCAPE OF YOUR ABDOMEN THAT DIVIDES ITSELF INTO CATEGORICAL DISPLAYS OF YOUR UNDERLAYER↗️ ↘️(abs)↘️ ↗️LIKE A PACKAGE OF PRE-SECTIONED AND PORTIONED GRUBLOAF, DOWN TO THE REINFORCED, WATER WICKING COVERINGS OF YOUR TOP-CLASS SWIM APPEAREL,↗️ ↘️your violet influence reigns supreme.↘️ ↗️THE SLIGHT SHEEN OF THE MATERIAL TO REFLECT THE RIBBINOUS LIFEFLUID THAT COURSES THROUGH YOUR THUNDEROUS VEINS, MATCHING PERFECTLY WITH YOUR GRUBSCARS AND FRILLED GILLMATERIAL↗️ ↘️is almost too perfect.↘️ ↗️YOUR SWIMSHORTS ARE PAYING DIVIDENDS.↗️ ↘️and housing heft funds, i am sure.↘️ ↗️I WOULD BE REMISS TO NOT MENTION THE ADDITION OF YOUR OPPOSING-COLORED DRAWSTRING.↗️ ↘️in my pusher of pushers, i want to believe you are paying homage to your elite employee.↘️ ↗️THAT YOU ARE ENGAGING IN BASE-LEVEL FLATTERIFICS TO GAIN MY FAVOR, AS IF I AM NOT LITERALLY THROWING MYSELF TOWARDS THE SCREEN FOR EVERY PHOTOGRAPH YOU POST AND INTERACTION YOU DEIGN TO ALLOW ME TO HAVE WITH NONE OTHER THAN THE CEO OF AMPORACOIN AND ALSO OTHER STRENUOUS BUSINESSVENTURES.↗️ ↘️but i am not foolish, and i know i am not even deserving of this.↘️ ↗️I KNOW THAT YOU ARE SO SHARP AND HONED IN YOUR PERCEPTION OF OTHERS AND YOUR QUIVERING SIMP OF A SUBORDINATE THAT YOU KNOW THAT I DO NOT EVEN DESERVE IT.↗️ ↘️that i am worth nothing but five taps on your palmhusk screen and waffling acknowledgement.↘️ ↗️IF WE WERE MEETING SNOUT TO SNOUT, I WOULD NOT EVEN DESERVE TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU.↗️ ↘️i would instinctively hold mine, as to not suck up your valuable h2o and deprive others of sampling your glory through way of errant germspray and accident-sputum.↘️ ↗️I WOULD BE SHAMEFULLY BLUE IN THE FACE.↗️ ↘️i also do not want you to accidentally smell the exhalation of my yoghurt and baked protein pellet in sweetened brown juicesludge odor, as my midshift meals have↘️ ↗️APPARENTLY↗️ ↘️made me unpleasant to inhale around.↘️ ↗️I AM "BURNING THE INNER FOLLICULAR LINING OFF OF FELLOW TROLLS' SCENTHOLES", ACCORDING TO INHUMANE RESOURCES.↗️ ↘️but that is unimportant, this is literally not even about me.↘️ ↗️IT IS ABOUT YOU.↗️ ↘️your honor.↘️ ↗️YOUR REGALITY.↗️ ↘️your superiority.↘️ ↗️YOUR DRAWSTRING.↗️ ↘️donning a color associated with a lower caste only designates that you are "real" and kind of "aloofly down to earth" with it.↘️ ↗️A PRIME ADVANTAGE OF MARKETING YOURSELF AS THE EVERYMANS' MAN IS THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST ERIDAN, BUT AN IDOL OF THE WORKING LABORS↗️ ↘️a bastion of those who devote themselves prong over grasper for you.↘️ ↗️I AM TRACKING BACK UPWARDS NOW TO YOUR NEWLY BEFITTED SPECTACLES.↗️ ↘️i myself am unable to don protective eyewear, as my vision has so entirely depreciated that i am likely to send myself plummeting from the highest level of my workblock if i were to put them on.↘️ ↗️AND IT HAS ONLY MADE ME MORE JEALOUS OF YOUR STUDIOUSLY DESIGNED SHADERS.↗️ ↘️the stark white carving of your symbol into the lenses do not do anything to impede your vision, i hope.↘️ ↗️BUT IF IT DID, I HAVE LITERALLY NO DOUBT THAT IT WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO BOTHER YOU.↗️ ↘️like an apex prowlerbeast, you do not need vision to know where to land your mark.↘️ ↗️YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR VITAL SENSES TO KNOW WHERE TO HEDGE YOUR BETS.↗️ ↘️(or your funds.)↘️ ↗️YOU ARE ABLE TO INTUIT IT INSTINCTIVELY THROUGH THE SHEER GUIDE OF THE PLATNIUM CARD BULGING A DENT INTO YOUR PADDED POCKETS.↗️ ↘️chumpchange, if you do not make the wisest investment.↘️ ↗️BUT I HAVE NOT KNOWN YOU TO MISS YET, MISTER AMPORA.↗️ ↘️i am eagerly awaiting your next post.↘️ ↗️THE NEXT PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAT YOUR VISAGE CONTINUES TO APPRECIATE IN VALUE, A METEORIC RISE TO THE HIGHEST CLIMBS OF THE IMPERIAL STOCK BOARD, ALL ON MERIT OF YOUR EXUBERANCE AND↗️ ↘️dare i say↘️ ↗️SWWAG.↗️ ↘️please do not forget to tag me next time.↘️ ↗️THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT KEEPS ME INSPIRED TO PERSIST IN MY STARBOARD WORK ETHIC.↗️ ↘️your clout is groundbreaking, mister ampora.↘️ ↗️I HOPE THIS MESSAGE FINDS YOU WELL.↗️ ↘️signed,↘️ ↗️WROTHE AIARAY.↗️ ↘️your most devoted and overly eager wageslave.↘️ ↗️@caligulasAquarium ↗️ ↘️ https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/fda3e3773ca0.jpg ↘️
@caligulasAquarium Ah, the Destroyer of Hope. My crystal ball very much enjoys these types of readings, as we get to play into a little reverse psychology. What a treat. Whatever you may do in the next 24 hours, do not— and this is imperative, Mr. Ampora— participate in the nearest convenience store’s lottery. And absolutely do not purchase over fifty boondollars in tickets. *I urge newcomers to refer to my original post if they wish for their own fortunes to be read.*
FUCK
unless is that wwhat you wwere tryin to make me do
ha nice fuckin try lightwwitch im on to your machinations clearly your aim is that i DO go purchase fifty boondollars in lottery tickets wwhat a pitiful fuckin farce this is i just wwont do it
lOOKS FUN, gUYS, aHAHA,,!
"What's better than this? Guys being dudes." -Steve Addazio
it is #gillsoutseason for #megidomay after all
#fishingfriday #fitcheck #princeofthedeal @timaeusTestified#0414 @technicallyTimaeus https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3f190e429da6.png "in prosperity it is easy to find a friend, but in advversity it is the most difficult of all things" -barak trollbama
measurin my abilities
You took Miku out without me.
Is it possible for us to get through one #FishingFriday without some kind of intraDirkian bitchfit.
#FishingFriday https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/951508b15d31.png
i JUST WANT TO GET DICKED DOWN AGAIN }=/ #NSFW
havvin vvris be the sole entity behind me in this tryin time is not all that comfortin a thought actually noww that i rubbed twwo thinkpan cells together about it
DESPITE ALL THE SHIT I GIVE PAST ME. THERE IS NO GROWING OUT OF REPEATING HER MISTAKES. I WILL NEVER KNOW BETTER THAN TO FALL FOR THE #SIRENSONG OF #DYEDHAIR #METROSEXUAL WITH #STUPIDWINGS!!!!
What did you do.
cool pic efin tho you look like a dweeb in that fit
SNEAKING IN MY OUTFIT RATING BEFORE THE SYCOPHANT. 7/10. YOU LOSE A POINT FOR YOUR WHORISH AND ILL FITTING SLEEPRAGS. I WOULD GIVE THIS INITIAL POINT BACK. FOR THE WHORISH ASPECT. BUT THE TOP IS NOT CROPPED HIGH ENOUGH. TO CONFIRM THE PRESENCE OF RIB GILLS. HOWEVER. TWO MORE POINTS MUST BE DEDUCTED. ONE FOR EACH REPULSIVE WING. I HAVE TO GO. YOU CAN GET HOME. YOU'RE GOD NOW. FIGURE IT OUT.
thisd fit wway better if i wwere still six
thus is the prince of hope enthroned crowwned not by gold but by the wwar song a fifty thousand wwrath-wweary angels wwhere he treads the darkness retreats before his light beautiful and terrible as the dawwn https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/5107e9ca5e88.png #fitcheck @gratuitousAnnuity @handMaid
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e8e082d2e09a.png "if you must break the laww do it to seize powwer in all other cases observve it" - gaiius julius caegar
i'M NORMAL,
you say some mortifyin shit sometimes crocker thats all im goin to divvulge on the matter
Showed @caligulasAquarium ONE PRIVATE INBOX with an old flame and he was too mortified to snoop through my phone any further. He's been slumping with his forehead against the car window for eight minutes.
im always open to trying new things double teaming people like karkat is no exception!
I'LL BE SURE TO TAG YOU IN THE LIVE VIDEO FEED OF ME BLOWING UP A 7/11 WITH MY PURE HATERAGE BEAM!
WH. I. OH MY GOD. FIRST OF ALL, I AM SO FUCKING SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE OF THIS FUCKING EMBARRASSING BULLSHIT- OH MY GOD, PAST ME IS SUCH A FUCKING DOLT. BUT YES. YOU CAN. I'M SO SORRY.
I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, WHAT THE HELL IS *WRONG* WITH YOU, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO INTERACT WITH ME OF ALL PEOPLE. AT LEAST NOT THIS OFTEN! I ALREADY PUSHED IT BY LEAVING A REVIEW OF ONE OF HER POSTS!
WHY THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE YOU ***@'ING HER IN MY POSTS?!?!***
THIS IS...REALLY SWEET. THANKS, ARADIA. I'M NOT ENDEAVORING TO HATE MYSELF, REALLY, I'M JUST EXTREMELY FUCKING HATEABLE.
OH MY GOD, IS IT OVER?! DID I FINALLY FUCKING CATCH UP TO THE BLEEDING SCREED OF SMUG WOMEN WHO KEEP ATTACKING MY POSTS?! I FEEL A MIGRAINE COMING ON
picks up my phone looks on here puts down my phone
YEAH I CAN FUCKING SEE THAT- TRY TALKING AT ME NEXT TIME?!
I AM NOT QUADDING MY PAST AND FUTURE SELVES!
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M STILL HERE!!!!
PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT ME IN THIS THREAD LIKE I'M NOT FUCKING HERE????????
FOR ONCE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN STRAIGHT THROUGH ME- I GENUINELY CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING MORE DISGUSTING. ROMANCE IS FINE! ENJOYING IT IS FINE, EVEN! BUT TO GIVE UP YOUR SENSE OF SELF AND PERSONALITY TO MELT INTO THE IRRELEVANCE OF SOME DOMESTIC YAOI FANTASY IS LIKE MY WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
Dear god. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7d4308246c45.PNG
◌ Allow me. ⧂
◌ You sound like a truly respectable and capable leader! How has no one else talked about a feat like that? I would think you should be heralded as a hero to the masses. "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way." ⧂
- PLEASE. All I've ever wanted was for the Emmpress to visit mme on an episode of "Secret Saboteur (Season MMMCDXIII, Continued Interplanetary Conquest and Bloodshed Part 42-1): Wherein the Emmpress, Her Immperious Condescension, Glory to Her Namme, Visits an Array of Trollian Businesses Throughout the Intergalactic Emmpire and Surprises Their Much-Adoring Proprietors With Her Patronage and Also Immperial Drones, Lots of Themm, Usually Rending The Property and All Within It Into Pathetic Multicolored Stains, Much to Everyone's Delight...)".
4S 1T TURNS OUT, R3P34T3DLY B4SH1NG ON3S P4N 4G41NST TH3 W4LL 1N R4P1D SUCC3SS1ON (PR3F3R4BLY TO TH3 R1V3T1NG M34SUR3M3NT OF 200 B34TS P3R M1NUT3) TO DROWN OUT TH3 SOUND OF STR1L4LOND3 DR1V3L 1S NOT 3NOUGH! 1 H4V3 NOW D3C1D3D TO P3RFORM S3LF 1MPOS3D SURG3RY TO MY P4N TO ST1MUL4T3 4 LOBOTOMY 1N HOP3S OF BL33D1NG OUT S34S4LT T4FFY 4LL OV3R TH3 COMM4ND PROMPT 4ND C4US1NG TH3 CONTROLS TO M4LFUNCT1ON SO 4BRUPTLY TH4T W3 CR4SH 4ND M4K3 4 D3L3CT4BL3 P4ST3
*BUZZT*!! Incorrect buster now dont let the hook grab you on your way out!
Wait.
cAN IT BE?
↘️i hope all business and business-aligned trolls of good social standing and respectable essences of physical superiority continue to post images of themselves.↘️ ↗️THE SUITS ON DISPLAY HAVE MY STEPPRONGS CURLING IN PREEMPTIVE GLEE WITHIN THEIR CHEAP, LESSER, FALSE-HIDE MATERIALS.↗️ ↘️what crisp notch lapels.↘️ ↗️SUEDE SHOES.↗️ ↘️socks that reach to your midcalf.↘️ ↗️IS THAT NOT ALL YOU CAN DREAM OF AND MORE.↗️
wHO SAID WE ARE, tALKING ABOUT vRISKA,
i LOST THE POST i'M GOING TO CRY, sTARTING AGAIN IN A TEXT DOCUMENT,
↗️THE SHEER BUSINESS ENERGY THIS POST AND ALSO THIS PICTURE EXUDED NEARLY HAD ME COMING OUT OF MY CHAIR, SIR.↗️ ↘️my worksquare partner is surely typing a great series of disparaging words at my conduct, but i literally cannot help it.↘️ ↗️THE TIE. THE FLARE OF YOUR SLEEVES. THE IMMACULATE TIME PIECE THAT IS NOT ONLY FUNCTIONAL BUT A PRISTINE DISPLAY OF YOUR WEALTH.↗️ ↘️no picture has been encapsulated the experiences of a top-class mindset, a social superior writing his testimony to the world with no words at all↘️ ↗️JUST UNADULTERATED VISUAL POWER.↗️ ↘️my shoulders tremble as i struggle to support the weight of your awesome visage, sweat rolls down the bridge of my sniffcaverns and threatens to travel down into my baked legumeslop, but i will not let it impede on the work of my typeprongs as i engage in disastrous levels of hype.↘️ ↗️I LITERALLY DO NOT EVEN DREAM OF BEING YOU ANYMORE, I JUST DREAM OF BEING NEAR YOU. I DREAM THAT I CAN STAND NEARBY ENOUGH TO INDULGE IN YOUR RADIANCE, IF ONLY ONCE, IF ONLY BRIEFLY.↗️ ↘️i know i am not allowed the dignity of even being granted the chance to breathe the same air as you, but i literally can't help my wistful thinking when i see you.↘️ ↗️OH MY GOD.↗️ ↘️this is everything.↘️ ↗️THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS.↗️ ↘️all of them↘️ ↗️POSITIVE THINGS.↗️
fuckin finally its about time wwe started dredgin up the fuckin sludge a the ocean an thinnin out the disgustin influx till only the most supreme of advversarial capability and statute remain #eridanwwar
wwhatevver youd lose the vvriska wwar if it came to that
brilliant noww all thats left is to formulate strategems and badass soundin combo attack names
any other eridan wwant to swwear an ill-fated pact wwith me before the #eridanwwar wwar drums start poundin and wwe split off into the wwild to begin our final hunt @caligulaAscendit im lookin at you levviathan howw about it mate
yeah sure wwhy not fuck it youvve been good to me
this beach just sent her buoytoy brigade after me