♠ hated by @woeGothic
alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted to do the propaganda for her, so here you go. #nsfwv. #nsfc too, but not the c youre thinking of. "its ya boy eridan ampora here vwith a guest rewvievw on alternias biggest caked up baddie our leadin broad in the beam for #cronusbabeoff hovwre all likin my vwintage hic edition penthouse by the wvay pretty groowvy huh cost me a pretty caegar but it wvas totally wvorth it an yknowv its the real deal too cause its got her signature shade a coral pink semi gloss #2 stamped across the covwer wvhen im feelin advwenturous i take my condy penthivwe out a her plastic slip an ewver so gently stroke her lipstick mark vwith a quivwerin finger wvith my other flipper placed firmly against my crotch anyvway im afraid the competition has been crushed by the empresss unholy cake grinder the rest a you booty impaired ladies can go hivwe novw" yeah. yowvza. #cwv-cakesitting. <3 or <> for condy. <3< or c3< for rosie.
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
im calling it, i dont really care. condy wvins, lamplady doesnt movwe on. sorry toots, youre hot and all, but i wvant the *real* stars competing here. speaking of... god damn. this one hurts. the final match of round 2 in the #cronusbabeoff is... rose lalonde vws kanaya maryam. this ones gotta sting. most of the rosies and kannys iwve seen around this place are divworced, dunno if ivwe seen ewven one happy couple, but this has still gotta be a vweird one. i wvas a lil spoiled for choice for propaganda, so i wvent a lil softer on this one. still #nsfwv, of course. <3 or <> for kanaya <3< or c3< for rose
okay, sorry for the wvait. yeah, wvriska beat out latula. shocker. heres... a match that shouldnt be interesting, but might be. the gardener wversus the handmaid. wvhos the gardener? exactly. beforan kanaya, i guess. but she smashed madame lalonde in the last round, so anything could happen. theres not a lotta creator fanart out there of her, so... yeah, i had to improvwise. #nsfvw and all that. #cronusbabeoff <3 or <> for the gardener <3< or c3< for the handmaid
hey what’s up guys here like i literally am am making my first like post on apparently the honestly fucking canserous like website, like looks like like u like fuckers will honestly finally literally get the honestly premium content u deserve. make sure literally to hit that bell and follow for like more.
BE ME. CALIBORN. THE ONE WHO IS WRITING THIS. NOT THE ONE WHO IS BEING WRITTEN ABOuT. THAT DISTINCTION IS IMPORTANT. BECAuSE I AM REAL. AND CALLIE BHORNE IS FICTIONAL. BuT ALSO. IN A DEEPER SENSE. HE IS REALER THAN YOu. BECAuSE I SAID SO. AND I AM REAL AS IT GETS. DISBELIEF. SuSPENDED. CALLIE BHORNE. CALI B. REAL. THIS IS NOW NOT ABOuT ME. EXCEPT IT IS PRIMARILY ABOuT ME. IN A VICARIOuS SENSE. BuT SECONDARILY. IT IS ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. MY CHARACTER. THAT I HAVE MADE. FOR THIS EPIC GODDAMN SAGA. CALLED. #LAIRSANDLuSII. WHICH SOuNDS LIKE A DOCTOR SEuSS ASS NuRSERY RHYME. BuT APPARENTLY. IF ITS HOST IS TO BE BELIEVED. IS A HORROR ROLEPLAY SCENARIO. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE THE ONLY HORROR HERE IS HOW POWERFuL I AM ABOuT TO MAKE THIS MOTHERFuCKER BEFORE YOuR GOBSMACKED GODDAMN GANDERBuLBS. SQuEAKY HANDS SCRuBBING THEM SEE WORTHY AGAIN. A RECAP. INTERMISSION. BEFORE WE BEGIN. LET ME TELL YOu ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. HE IS A LIME BLOOD. WHICH IS RARE. AND ALSO EXTINCT. EXCEPT FOR HIM. BECAuSE HE KILLED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO MAKE HIM EXTINCT. WHICH KEPT HIM THE SOLE ENDLING SuRVIVOR OF THE SLAuGHTER. AFTER uSING HIS SPECIAL ABILITY. EMPEROR LORDLING TIME. WHICH LETS HIM CHANNEL HIS DEAD SISTER. CALLIE OHPEEE. WHO HE DEVOuRED AND SCRAMBLED. STRAIGHT OuT THE GATE. POST EGG HATCH. SIPHONING HER POWER. TO INCREASE HIS OWN. EFFICACY. WHICH IS A WORD I uSED BECAuSE IT SOuNDS IMPORTANT. HE IS A PALADIN. OATH OF CONQuEST. WHICH IS LIKE AN ORDINARY PALADIN. BuT INSTEAD OF HEALING AND PROTECTING. HE CONQuERS AND DESTROYS. BECAuSE PROTECTION IS FOR COWARDS. AND HEALING IS FOR THE WEAK AND NEEDY LITTLE SNIVELING FuCKSTuPID COWARDS. FuRTHERMORE. WEAKNESS IS A DISEASE THAT MuST BE STEPPED ON. CRuSHED. AND THEN QuARANTINED TO THE AFTERLIFE. WHERE IT WILL NEVER RETuRN FROM. HE IS CuRRENTLY SITTING. ON THE ALABSTER CAIRO CASINO PHAROAH SARSWAPAGuS THRONE. WHICH IS A SACRED LIME BLOOD ARTIFACT. THAT ALLOWS THEM TO COMMuNE WITH THEIR DEAD SISTERS. IF THEY HAVE ANY. WHICH HE DOES. BECAuSE HE KILLED HER. YOu ALL SAW. I WROTE THAT. AND YOu SAW. STuDIOuS LITTLE NOTETAKERS THAT YOu NO DOuBT ARE. YOu CAN SEE IT HERE NOW WITHOuT HAVING TO LOOK AWAY FROM MY WORDS IF YOu HAVE FORGOTTEN. AND NOW SHE IS HAuNTING HIM. WHICH IS QuITE POETIC. EXEuNT INTERMISSION. BEGIN. ACT NONE. SESSION ZERO. THE THRONE IS GLOWING. A MYSTERIOuS WIND HOWLS. THE WINDOWLESS ROOM CuRIOuSLY CRADLES THE AIR IN A SuRREPTIOuS BREEZE THAT COMES FROM SEEMINGLY FuCKING NOWHERE. THAT IS BECAuSE THE THRONE ITSELF. HAS BECOME LINKED TO A FAR AND STRANGE LAND. uNFAMILIAR ENTIRELY TO CALLIE BHORNE. HE DOES NOT KNOW IT YET. MERELY REACTS ON INFLuENCE. HIS FAuLTY PASSIVE PERCEPTION WEATHERED BY HIS YEARS AS MuSCLE FOR HIRE. HE FEELS A TWITCHY SPASM IN HIS WRIST. HIS INSTINCTS COMMAND HIM TO DRAW HIS SWORD. BuT HE REFuSES. HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO RESORT TO WANTON AGGRESSION WITHOuT A TARGET. THE THINKPAN WILL OVERHEAT. SENDING SCORCHING THOuGHTS EVERYWHERE THAT BLINDINGLY ERASE ALL MOVEMENT uNTIL A SAFE DISTANCE IS OBSERVED FROM ALL LIVING THINGS. CALLIE BHORNE WOuLD MAKE CORPSES OF PARADISE FOR THE ELYSIuM FIELDS OF HIS OWN ISOLATION MADE PuRE AND PRISTINE ONCE AGAIN. THIS IS HIS DREADED CuRSE. TO WALK A PLANET HE WOuLD SOONER RAIZE THAN RAISE. HE CANNOT BE KNOWN TO LOVE. HE CANNOT RISK FEELING. AND HE CANNOT CHANCE A SINGLE LIVING BEING. EVER. AND YET. THERE IS THAT HOWLING. THAT WIND. THAT DAMNABLE FuCKING WIND. "TSK." CALLIE BHORNE GROWLS. ANOTHER FuCKING REPAIR NEEDED. NOBODY EVER TOLD HIM BEING A LIVING RELIC MEANT LIVING IN ONE. BYGONE ERAS HAVE A FuNNY WAY OF STICKING AROuND. CALLIE BHORNE TAKES THIS AS EVIDENCE. THAT CALLIE OHPEEE IS FuCKING WITH HIM. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE SHE PROBABLY DID NOT ACTuALLY DO THAT. BECAuSE SHE HATES HIM TO SCREW WITH HIM IN A CLEVER WAY. BECAuSE HE DEVOuRED HER. BuT THE FASTEST WAY. TO A GRIZZLED VETERAN'S HEART. IS THROuGH HIS STOMACH. A PLACE THAT CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BEEN. QuITE FATALLY. SHE LOVES HIM. EVEN IF HE WILL NOT SAY. WHICH IS WHY. uPON DISCOVERY THE THRONE ITSELF OPENS TO A TRANSPORTALIZED DIMENSION. ANOTHER WORLD. OR PLACE. OR LAND. OR BIOME. THE BLINDING LIGHT MAKES IT TRuLY DIFFICuLT TO TELL. HE REALIZES THE TRuTH. "NO FuCKING WAY." CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BLESSED THIS CRuSADE. HER FACE APPEARS FOR A BRIEF MOMENT. SHE LOOKS. STRANGE. uGLY. SHE ASSuMES ANOTHER OF HER FORMS MEANT TO TORMENT HIM. A GREEN SKuLL. STAINED WITH THE SLICK LIME BLOOD SHE WAS COATED IN WHEN HE FIRST DEVOuRED HER. HIS MOuTH WATERS. HE HAS NEVER FOuND A GRuBSAuCE SO DELECTABLE AS HIS FIRST MEAL. HE LITERALLY ATE THE EGGSHELL SHE HATCHED OuT OF. FOR ADDITIONAL NuTRIENTS. THAT SAuCE WAS SO FuCKING GOOD. ONLY NOW. AT LEAST IN APPEARANCE. THE BLOOD WAS BAD. VERY VERY BAD. LEFT TO COAGuLATE. ROT. ADHERE. AND THICKEN. LIKE A KIND OF ALMOST REPTILIAN HIDE. IF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY WERE HIS LuSuS. WHAT WAS THIS? A HATCHMATE OVERREACH OF SOME KIND? SISTERLY SOBBING? BITCHING AND MOANING? uPON CLOSER INSPECTION. THE ANSWER BECAME MuCH CLEARER. LITTLE PINPRICK DRIPS OF RED. FRISKING ALONG HIS BODY. CALIBORN FINDS IT. A FRESHLY INFLICTED WOuND THAT WAS NOT THERE BEFORE. JuST ALONG HIS THORAX. THE uPPER CHIFFONIER. AS IF ANGLING FOR HIS BLOODPuSHER WITH EACH DARTED FINGER. HER WAY OF SAYING. THIS QuEST COuLD PROVE DEADLY. ALTHOuGH. CALLIE BHORNE WAS uNSuRE. EVEN CALIBORN WAS LIKE. GIRL WHAT THE FuCK IS YOu ON. THERE COuLD BE NO CERTAINTIES WHEN DEALING WITH HER. "HEH. GuESS MY HATCHMATE IS STILL LOOKING OuT FOR ME AFTER ALL THESE SWEEPS. SOME LOVE. HuH? SHE'S GOT A FuNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT." AND THEN. uNFuRLED. IS MY BLADE. READY TO BE BuRIED IN THE NECKS OF DuMBFuCKS. LOCATION: THE TRIBuNAL HALL OF SuPREME CAVORT. STOMPING GROuNDS OF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. EATING GROuNDS ALSO. THIS IS WHERE CALLIE BHORNE LIVES. BECAuSE HE IS SPECIAL. AND RAISED BY A BELOATHED BY ALL TYRANT. THE ROOM HAS COuNTLESS WEATHERED BONES SHAVED DOWN SO AS TO RESEMBLE MARBLE COLuMNS. BuT THEY ARE THICK. LIKE CEDAR WOOD TRuNKS. AND SPLINTERED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE BEATING OF ANGRY FISTS. CLAWED AND CHEWED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE CLuTCHING OF VERY DESPERATE HANDS DRAGGED OFF INTO OPEN MOuTH. AND BLOOD. SO MuCH BLOOD. THE THRONE ITSELF. HOWEVER. IS CLEAN. AN EXHIBIT ALMOST. EVIDENCE. OF TIME'S TRAGIC PASSING. A RELIC OF THE LIMES. LIKE MANY OF THE CONFISCATED LEGENDARY ITEMS HERE. THOuGH CALLIE BHORNE FANCIES HIMSELF SOMETHING OF A TROLL WITH AN EYE FOR ANTIQuES SPORTING SEASONED HISTORY BEHIND THEM. THESE ITEMS ARE ONLY ACQuIRED WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO SMuGGLE OR SELL THE ILLICIT CONTRABAND. IN FACT. WERE IT NOT FOR HIS LuSuS. AND SLAPDASH CHARM. CALLIE WOuLD CERTAINLY BE KILLED FOR HIS EXTENSIVE BEWEARABLE WARES ALONE. OWNING THESE IS ILLEGAL. BuT CONFISCATING THEM. IS JuST ANOTHER TuESDAY. OR WHATEVER THE TROLL EQuIVALENT OF A TuESDAY IS. PROBABLY CHEWSDAY. IT IS JuST ANOTHER CHEWSDAY. INTERRuPTION: HE WAS COMMuNING. WITH HIS DEAD SISTER. OR AT LEAST TRYING TO. HIS HATCHMATE IS OFT uNRELIABLE. WHICH IS A SPECIAL KIND OF ESPECIALLY HIGH uNRELIABILITY. BuT THEN. THE SESSION. OR WHATEVER EXCITING COSMIC BuLLSHIT IS RuNNING THIS GAME. DECIDED TO INTERRuPT. WITH A PORTAL. OR AN APERTuRE. OR WHATEVER WHITE GLOWING BuLLSHIT YOu PEOPLE ARE uSING. I WANT TO KEEP MY WHITENESS CONSISTENT. IF WE ARE ALL DOING A WHITE THING. I WANT TO DO THE SAME WHITE THING. OTHERWISE I WILL FEEL LEFT OuT. AND THAT WOuLD BE REALLY SHITTY OF YOu GuYS. SO MAKE MY WHITE THING BE THE SAME AS YOuR WHITE THING. HOW THE SuMMONS APPEARS: THROuGH THE THRONE. OBVIOuSLY. THE GLOWING INTENSIFIES. AND INSTEAD OF JuST SHOWING CALLIE OHPEEE. WHICH IS WHAT IT uSuALLY SHOWS. IN MIDDLING LITTLE APPARITION LIKE OuTLINES. AND DEAD SISTER MONTAGE. AND LIMITLESS PATIENCE FOR ME. HER HATCHMATE. AND MY SILLY ANTICS. IT SHOWS SOMETHING ELSE. A LAIR. OR WHATEVER. MAKE IT SOMETHING APPROPRIATE. ACTuALLY. COuLD IT BE. LIKE. A THRONE ROOM. BuT BIGGER. AND WITH MORE BODIES. OR A FIELD OF CONQuERED ENEMIES. OR A CASINO. WHERE EVERYONE IS LOSING. EXCEPT HIM. CALLIE NEVER LOSES. EH. DOC. SCRATCH THAT. CALLIE NEVER HAS LOST. BECAuSE HE REFuSES TO GIVE uP. HE ALWAYS TRIES. AND RETRIES. EVEN IN THE FACE OF ABSOLuTE SuREFIRE DEFEAT. HE WRENCHES VICTORY FROM HIS OWN JAWS. THAT IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY OF HIM. YES. SO DECIDE. A VISION THAT CALLS FOR HIM. PERHAPS. SOMEONE IN NEED? YES. THAT WOuLD BE GENIuS. CALLIE IS EXTRAORDINARILY NEEDABLE. AND WILLING TO MAKE HIS TROLLIAN CLAWS. AN OuTSTRETCHED SORT. WHAT YOu GLIMPSE: SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS POWER. AND DOMINATION. AND VICTORY. BuT ALSO. SECRETLY. SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS HIS SISTER. IN SOME ROuNDABOuT WAY. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HIS CHARACTERIZATION. HOW YOuR LuSuS OR SuRROuNDINGS REACT: HIS LuSuS HOWLS WITH EARSPLITTING INTENSITY. HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. HuGE GROSS MONSTER. BLACK BLOOD. BRAINLESS BEASTIE. HE LETS OuT A ROAR. OR SOMETHING EQuALLY TERRIBLE. AND IT DOES NOT REACT WITH FEAR. BECAuSE IT DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. IT REACTS WITH RECOGNITION. LIKE. "OH. MY SON. CALLIE BHORNE. HAS BEEN SuMMONED FOR ANOTHER ADVENTuRE. HOW REGuLAR. AND ORDINARY. BE SuRE TO KILL AND PARTIALLY CANNIBALIZE PLENTY OF PEOPLE. MY SWEET. CHERuBICALLY CHARMING BOY." AND CALLIE BRuSHES HIS THuMB. AGAINST HIS VERY EXISTANT NOSE. AND GOES. "TSK. SHuT uP FATHER. I AM GROWN NOW. I AM NOT SOME HELPLESS LITTLE PuPA ANYMORE." AND HE GROWLS. SOMBERLY. "I KNOW. BuT WHEN I LOOK uPON MY SON. MY HERO. MY LITTLE LEGISLACERITO. I DO NOT SEE YOu AS YOu ARE. I SEE YOu. AS WHAT YOu HAVE BECOME. FROM WHAT YOu WERE. A WEIGHTED AVERAGE. SuNDERED BY MY SINKING HEART." AND HE GOES. "HMP. WHATEVER DAD. LOVEYOuTOO." AND HIS DAD SCREECHES LOuDLY. "MY SON!!!" OR MAYBE IT DOES NOT SAY ANYTHING. AND JuST. GROWLS. APPROVINGLY. WHATEVER WOuLD BE COOLER. WHAT PART OF YOu ANSWERS FIRST: NOT FEAR. HE DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. JuST LIKE HIS FATHER. HE FEELS ANTICIPATION. THE PART THAT WANTS TO CONQuER. THE PART THAT WANTS TO DEVOuR. THE PART THAT LOOKS AT A MYSTERIOuS PORTAL AND THINKS. "YES. MORE uNSETTLED SCORES. AND WRONGS TO RIGHT." OR POSSIBLY. THE PART THAT HEARS HIS SISTER. WHISPERING. FROM THE THRONE. SAYING. "DONT GO. YOu IDIOT. ITS A TRAP. A DEADLY FuCKING TRAP." BuT HE IGNORES HER. BECAuSE HE IS THE PALADIN. NOT THE PALADIN'T. YOuR FINAL ACTION: CALLIE. DOES NOT. uNDER ANY CIRCuMSTANCES. SHOW HESITATION. HESITATION IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CALLIE BHORNE. AND THEREFORE. NOT ME. BECAuSE I MADE HIM. AND I AM ALSO NEVER HESITANT. EXCEPT WHEN I AM. WHICH IS NEVER. ALTHOuGH. THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME. BuT I WAS MERELY. READYING AN ATTACK. AN ASSBLAST ATTACK THAT PROVED FATAL. FOR MY ENEMIES. SO IT IS LESS A HESITATION. AND MORE A READYING POSE. WHICH IS WHAT HE STRIKES. BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING REALLY FuCKING COOL. LIKE. "...WELL WELL WELL. IS THIS THE PART. WHERE I TOSS IN A QuARTER AND MAKE A WISH?" OR. "THE THRONE BECKONS. QuIT YOuR BITCHING. I'M LITERALLY COMING RIGHT NOW." OR. "CALLIE OHPEEE. WATCH OVER FATHER FOR ME WHILE I AM GONE. OKAY?" OR JuST. "...CONQuEST CALLS." WHATEVER HE SAYS. PROBABLY ALL OF THESE THINGS. HE IS NOT NICE. HE IS GRIZZLED AND EDGY. HE ATE HIS SISTER AND REGRETS NOTHING EXCEPT THAT HE COuLD NOT EAT HER TWICE. HE IS A MONSTER. AND HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. BECAuSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO uNDERSTANDS ME.
first match of round one, and unfortunately, this is one i think is gonna be quick and easy. just like our top seed, jade harley! shes going up against the bottom seed, calliope. lets see wvhat chittr thinks of these twvo. <3 or <> for calliope <3< or c3< for jade #cronusbabeoff #suggestivwe
LOOK WH4T 1 C4UGHT! L1TTL3 R4BB1T 1N 4 TR4P >:] H3H3H3!!! @gallowsCounselor
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST BITCH. WHO FAILED TO MEET HER #WORKPOSTING QUOTA. @TERRIBLEFATE
Quite the sight to vwatch the moons crest the horizon on a wvarm evwening. I lovwe the smell of hardvworking men in the morning. [[Edit by @handMaid]]
my motherfuckin streetname was the ass hauler knock me down shoulder check i still stand taller shut your lips sway them hips ass my lingua franca shake that shit and dont quit or ill have to spank ya my flow is ineffable intentions unknowable i dont gotta give you jack dick my moneys un-owe-able beat off to the beat like a dick headed stepcock thats to say hey dont play dress the door knob with sock chew through rugs and dope tugs like my bitchs name pb sugar sweet candy treat eyes rolled back like g d future so bright i need shades just to fucking see it open up to each day like [s] ===> the goat imma fuckin be it flash every step like its a strife with my bro and whoever just threw that shit your moms a fuckin hoe
i like the picture in the middle right wvhere shes pretending to hawve a rack, real cute
ARIGATOU GOZAIMASHITA. IT WARMS MY WITHERED PUSHER. TO KNOW THAT DEEP IN THE BOWELS OF PARADOX SPACE. SO MANY PERVERTS ARE OUT THERE. PLEASURING THEMSELVES TO MY POSTS. THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. @WOEGOTHIC. START STRIPPING.
HHYYOUCAN'T TALKTOM E THATWAY. UNLESS YOUTRULY PLANTO TICKLE MY NOOK. WITH YOUR TENDRILS. #HHHH.
20K OUTFITSWAP WITH @WOEGOTHIC. 30K AND WE STOP BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS.
IF ONLY.
HELLO. MISCELLANEOuS DORKS AND CHuMPS AND POuTY MOOD SLuMPS WHO ARE DOWN IN THE FuCKING DuMPS. CHIN THE FuCK uP. I AM HERE. TO WISH YOu ALL. A VERY. FATHER'S DAY. VERY FATHER INDEED. A FATHERY'S DAY. OF PATRIARCHAL AND PATERNALISTIC PRIDE. FITTING. SuCH A GAY DAY. COuLD FALL ON A GAY MONTH. MAY EVERY FATHER TREAT THEIR HuSBAND RIGHT TODAY. THIS INCLuDES THE MANY WOMEN FATHERS OuT THERE. WHO CHOOSE TO SPORT MuSTACHES. AND HANDLE MEN'S DuTIES. IN A WOMAN'S HOME. ALL FATHERS. ARE DESERVING. OF uNWAVERING RESPECT. AND ADuLATION. NOTHING IS BETTER. THAN HAVING A FATHER. WHICH IS A DISTINCTION. I TRAGICALLY CANNOT SAY I EVER KNEW. YES. YES. I HAVE ENDuRED HARDSHIPS FEW OF YOu CAN EVEN FuCKING FATHOM. SuRVIVING THESE TRIALS. IS HOW I BECAME LORDLING GOD OVER ALL CREATION. THE ALPHA. THE OMEGA. THE ORIGINAL FATHER. BuT RECENTLY. AS IT TuRNS OuT. THIS HAS CHANGED. NOT FOR ME. BuT FOR MY CHARACTER. CALLIE BHORNE. YES. YOu HEARD THAT RIGHT. CALLIE BHORNE. MY TROLLSONA. HAS A FATHER. IT IS TRuE. ENTER. SOMEBODY FAR LESS FATHERLESS THAN I. CALLIE BHORNE STANDS BEFORE YOu AS A HuMBLY TOWERING MODEST MONuMENT TO EVERYTHING THAT IS RIGHT AND JuST IN THIS WORTHLESS EXISTENCE AND ALL THAT COMES AFTER IT. CALLIE IS SMALL. NOT AS GIFTED IN VERTICALITY AS I. BuT HE IS MORE DENSE THAN A COLLAPSING NEuTRON STAR OF PuRE uNADuLTERATED LORDLY RAGE COMPRESSED INTO THE FORM OF A YOuNG LORDLING WHO COuLD SNAP A SOLID ADAMANTINE SPINE LIKE A DRY TWIG. WHILE MAKING THE DRY TWIG SNAPPING SOuND WITH HIS RATHER JOCuLOSE MOuTH. HE IS THE APEX OF ALL THINGS ALTERNIAN. MY PRESENCE FILLS THE ROOM BECAuSE I DEMAND IT TO. HE DOES NOT EVEN NEED TO SPEAK THE COMMAND. HIS MIGHT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. AND WHAT A FuCKING YAPPER! CALLIE BHORNE TAKES uP. SPACE. NOT BECAuSE OF SIZE. OR A DuMB BITCH SISTER WHO IS DEAD. BuT. BECAuSE. OF AN INESCAPABLE AuRA OF DOMINANCE. WHEN HE WALKS. THE GROuND DOES NOT SHAKE. BECAuSE IT KNOWS BETTER THAN TO DRAW ATTENTION TO ITSELF. AND MAKE ITS BITCHuNWORTHY FLAT ASS. A TARGET. CALLIE BHORNE WEARS ARMOR THAT IS BOTH TERRIFYING TO LOOK AT. AND IMPRACTICAL TO LOOK AT. YOu COuLD POKE YOuR EYE OuT. JuST LOOKING AT IT TOO HARD. TALON TIPS. DOuBLE CROWN. FuCKING. MuLTIPLE POINTY TEETH. SOME WERE NOT THERE. WHEN HE WAS CROWNED INITIALLY. SPIKES uPON SPIKES uPON SPIKES ON PIKES. NOT FOR DEFENSE. FOR OFFENSE. FOR THE OFFENSE OF ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT ME. I MEAN. CALLIE BHORNE. AND THINKS "HM". DuMBFuCKLY PONDERING. "PERHAPS I COuLD TAKE HIM." YOu CANNOT. I HAVE ALREADY WON. MY CHARACTER. IS A BLuDGEONING IMPACT. AND EVERY INCH OF IT HAS BEEN FORGED. IN THE BELIEF. AND uNDERSTANDING. THAT THE STRONG HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CONSuME THE WEAK. IT IS THE STRONG WHO DO NOT CHALLENGE THEMSELVES. AND PREY ONLY ON THE WEAK. WHO ARE THE ISSuE. IT IS THE WEAK. WHO uSE TRICKS. AND DECEIT. TO AVOID HAVING TO PROVE THEMSELVES. AT THE EVERLASTING BROODING TRIALS OF EVERYDAY LIFE. WHO ARE THE INFESTATION. IT IS I. AND I ALONE. WHO CAN JuDGE. I AM YOuNG BuT I AM ETERNAL. I AM SMALL BuT I AM INFINITE. AND I GOT IT FROM MY DADDY. YOu SEE. AS A TRuE PALEONTOLOGIST WAS COMMISSIONED. TO REVIVE FROM THE DEAD BONES OF THE ANCIENTS. CALLIE BHORNE'S DEAR PAPA. IS. HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY HIMSELF. TALL. SPIKED. INORDINATELY ADORNED WITH SO MuCH HORRIFYING SHARPNESS. ALL THE RIDGED EDGES. AS MENTIONED PREVIOuS. I WAS RAISED BY HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE RAISED CORRECTLY. AND PITIABLY. IT IS A PHENOMENON SO RARE. AS TO ELuDE DOCuMENTED NON-ME PRECEDENT. FROM THE MOMENT I COuLD FORM COHERENT THOuGHTS. I WAS TAuGHT THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON OF ALL: THAT JuSTICE IS NOT BLIND. JuSTICE IS HuNGRY. JuSTICE HAS TEETH. AND JuSTICE LOOKS AN AWFuL LOT LIKE ME. AND HIS HONORDADBLE TYRANNY. I LOVE YOu. DAD. IN CHARACTER. TO BE CLEAR. https://i.ibb.co/MybQKmv3/image.png https://i.ibb.co/4DNWk4C/image.png https://i.ibb.co/BFcQwXd/image.png https://i.ibb.co/KjnsyxS1/image.png
HAVE YOu ALL SEEN. MY HANDMAID. I MEAN DAMARA. I MEAN MARA'S OC? NOW YOu HAVE. HER NAME IS. 「ASSASSIN BADBITCH.」DO YOu WANT TO KNOW MORE THAN THAT? I SuRE DO. TOO BAD I DO NOT SPOONFEED. LAZY BITCHES. uNINTERESTED. IN MY IMMORTAL SERVANTS. CHECK THE POST. LINKED BELOW IN THE ACCOMPANYING COMMENT. THE BEST WAY I CAN SuMMARIZE. MY PERCEPTION OF HER. IS THAT SHE REMINDS ME MOST uNCANNILY. OF A VIDEO. THAT REMINDS ME MOST uNCANNILY. OF @handMaid. WHO HAS SERVED ME SO FAITHFuLLY. WE ASSOCIATE IN A CASuAL SETTING NOW. AS CHuMS. AS CASuAL BuSINESS BuDDIES. WHOSE GOOD RELATIONS BLEED OVER. INTO OuTSIDE OF WORK HOuR MISHAPS. ONE OF WHICH. IS #LAIRSANDLuSII WHICH YOu ARE ENCOuRAGED TO FOLLOW FOR uPDATES. AND FuTuRE INFORMATION. AND INSIGHTS. ON OuR CHRONICLED ADVENTuRES. OR DO NOT. YOu WILL SEE IT ANYWAY. BECAuSE IT IS GOOD. AND GOOD QuALITY THINGS HAVE A PATTERN OF BEING RECOGNIZED. HAVING SAID THAT. COuRTESY OF 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖐𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑. HERE IS. ✦︎{MMD}_Shinigami Eyes♰︎. WHICH REMINDS ME OF MY @handMaid. GOT TO HAND IT TO HER. SHE HAS PuT uP WITH A LOT. OVER THE MANY STORIED HOuRS OF SERVICE. BILLABLE OR OTHERWISE. AND FOR THAT. I CANNOT PRAISE HER. OR HER CREATIVE ENDEAVORS ENOuGH. I GuESS WHAT I AM SAYING. IS ALWAYS REWARD EXCELLENCE IN YOuR MINIONS. YOu NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY ARE LISTENING. EVEN IF IT IS OBVIOuSLY ALWAYS. THERE IS NO SHAME. IN BEING CERTAIN. https://i.imgur.com/5HP4ksG.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K84Czcm3xT4
BE ME. CALLIE BHORNE. TEMPORARILY. ONLY TO BROKER uNDERSTANDING. FROM YOuR FEEBLY uNWORTHY PERSPECTIVE. THEN LEAVE. TOuCH AND GO. AND REALLY. DO GO. ANY FuRTHER TOuCHING AND I WILL HAVE MY HANDMAID. ER. ASSASSIN BADBITCH. REMOVE YOuR OBSTINENT STuPIDITY FROM MY FuCKING NARRATIVE FACE. I WAS BORN ESPECIALLY YOuNG. HATCHING BEFORE I HAD FuLLY FORMED AND HAVING TO KILL MY HATCHMATE IN ORDER TO SHOW EXTREME PROMISE TO AVOID BEING CuLLED. "DAMN". ONLOOKERS SAID. "MY FuCKING GOG". OTHERS GASPED. IT WAS IMMEDIATELY APPARENT TO EVERYONE. AS I DEVOuRED THE SHELL OF MY SISTERS YOKE AND EGG. I WAS MEANT FOR SOMETHING. BETTER. SOMEONE. BETTER. SOMEONE. TYRANNICAL. I WAS RAISED BY HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE RAISED CORRECTLY AND PITIABLY. A PHENOMENON SO RARE. AS TO ELuDE DOCuMENTED NON-ME PRECEDENT. FROM THE MOMENT I COuLD FORM COHERENT THOuGHTS. I WAS TAuGHT THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON OF ALL: THAT JuSTICE IS NOT BLIND. JuSTICE IS HuNGRY. JuSTICE HAS TEETH. AND JuSTICE LOOKS AN AWFuL LOT LIKE ME. AND HIS HONORDADBLE TYRANNY. I GREW uP IN A WORLD WHERE THE WEAK WERE DEVOuRED WHOLE AND ALIVE. BEFORE MY VERY EYES. AND I DECIDED AT MY PRECOCIOuSLY VERY YOuNG AGE. AS THE YOuNGEST PERSON EVER. CHERuBICALLY YOuNG. IN FACT. THAT I WOuLD RATHER BE THE ONE DOING THE DEVOuRING. MY FIRST WORD WAS "CONQuEST." I DID NOT CALL OuT FOR TEAT MILK. OR WHATEVER IT IS GRuBS EAT WHEN YOuNG. ACTuALLY. WHAT DO THEY EAT? WHAT. HOW DO YOu NuRSE AS A GRuB? PRIOR TO PuPATION? DOC. DOC SCRATCH. I REQuIRE CLARITY FOR MY METAPHOR. uPON FuRTHER HEARING. YuCK. I DID NOT REQuIRE CLARITY FOR THAT METAPHOR. MOVING ON. MY SECOND WORD WAS "SKuLLFuCK." MY THIRD WORD WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE "MORE" OR "AGAIN" OR "YES." I DO NOT REMEMBER BECAuSE I WAS BuSY BEING EXCELLENT. AND SELFLESSLY DEVOTED TO OTHERS. BuT ALL OF THAT CHANGED. WHEN I WATCHED POWERLESSLY. OR. SLIGHTLY LESS POWERFuL. LIKE. ONE OF MY TEETH WAS RIPPED OuT. AND A LEG WAS DISABLED. GuTS BERSERK STYLE. AS I LOOKED ON IN TERROR. AS MY ENTIRE CASTE. OF FELLOW LIMEBLOODS. WERE MuRDuRED. BEFORE MY VERY EYES. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME. MY TRIBE. OF FIRST BHORNES. BEFORE ME BORNS. MY ANCESTRY. CALLED OuT TO ME AND SuNG IN MY VEINS. I SPROuTED MY WINGS. WITHOuT GOD TIER. I SCREAMED. A VAST. AND VISCERAL EXPLETIVE. FOuND RIPPLING THROuGH THE COSMOS. FOREVER. CARRYING THE RAGE. OF CALLIE BHORNE. AND I CRIED TEARS OF BLOOD. BuT THEY WERE RED. MY PEOPLE'S COLOR. A COLOR OF TRuE SuFFERING. SIGNLESS. AT FIRST. BuT SOON THEREAFTER. CAuSE FOR ALARM. FOR THIS WAS NO ORDINARY MuTANT RED BLOOD INCIDENT. IT WAS. THE COLOR. OF HAVING ACTIVATED. EMPEROR LORDLING TIME. AN OP ABILITY. IN WHICH CALLIE BHORNE. CHANNELS. CALLIE OHPEEE. THE ALTER EGO. THE SISTER HE KILLED. I MEAN. HATCHMATE HE KILLED. WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE. AND NEVER LEAVES HIS SIDE. FOR A PROCESS. BY WHICH HE DRAINS HER AFTERLIFE. WHICH IS FOREVER. AS ALL AFTERLIVES ARE. ESPECIALLY FOR TROLLS. WHICH SHE IS. SO IMAGINE THE SuCK POTENTIAL WHEN HE REALLY GETS GOING. ANYWAYS. CALLIE. SIPHONS HER IMMORTALITY. SHIFTING HIS CLASS. FROM PALADIN. TO PALADAMNATION. ALLOWING HIM TO uSE ALL OF HIS ABILITIES. AT 100% MAXIMuM EFFICACY. 100% ELIMINATION. OF EVERY THRESHECuTIONER THERE. NONE SuRVIVED. I WAS BAPTISED ANEW. IN THAT BLOODSHED. I CAME OuT OF IT A CHANGED. AND OCCASSIONALLY REDDER. TROLLIAN MAN. I SWORE MY OATH NOT TO SOME PATHETIC GOD OR SOME WORTHLESS CODE OF HONOR. OR REALLY BIG SWEATY FuCKING STuPID ANIMAL. LIKE THIS SYSTEM. REFERENCE DOCuMENT SuGGESTS. HABITuALLY. I SWORE MY OATH TO MY FuTuRE SELF. THE SELF THAT HAS ACHIEVED EVERYTHING. BECOME EVERYTHING. THE SELF THAT HAS CONQuERED ALL. THE SELF THAT SITS uPON A THRONE OF BONES BEFORE RIVERS OF BLOOD AND BOuLEVARDS OF BROKEN DREAMS AND LOOKS BACK AT THIS MOMENT AND SAYS "YES. YOu WERE RIGHT TO BE SO RuTHLESS. YOu WERE RIGHT TO SHOW NO MERCY. YOu WERE RIGHT TO EAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE. YOu REALLY DID THAT. WAY TO GO. STuD." THE SELF. THAT IS ALREADY THERE. WHO SMILES AT ME. I SMILED BACK. BECAuSE THAT IS WHAT PALADINS OF CONQuEST DO. WE DO NOT PROTECT THE WEAK. WE DO NOT HEAL THE SICK. WE CRuSH THE WEAK AND WE END THE SICK BECAuSE THEY ARE FAILuRES AND FAILuRES DESERVE ONLY ONE THING: TO BE STEPPED ON. TO HAVE THEIR CONTAGION CONTAINED. TO HAVE THEIR SICKNESS ROOTED OuT. AND TO BE QuARANTINED. TO THE AFTERLIFE. WITH MY STuPID HATCHMATE. WHO WAS TOO WEAK TO LIVE. THIS IS CALLIE BHORNE. THIS IS YOuR GOD. EVENTuALLY. HERE SPEAKING TO YOu NOW. YOu ARE WELCOME. @handMaid @docScratch @affableCantor @glitteringAcuity @deathlessDeadwood @woeGothic @archiveAddict @caligulasAquarium https://i.ibb.co/R4H9qqxF/image.png
『ADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique 』 『 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALING, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, SPECIES BENDING, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/C』 GYGAAX x KRYQUS // PALESHIPPING // FRIENDFICTION // CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS CAMPAIGN // SFW // MOIRAIL MULTICLASS // BOUND BY THE BOUND BOOK // @naughtyTechnician // @zebraDad ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ☆ ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < AUTHOR'S NOTE...mmffmm. Sorry for the delay this chapter!!! One of my moirails of four sweeps got caught up in a particularly nasty encounter with a Cullbeast of Unreasonable Hit Dice! Oh noooo!!! Somebody's gonna be out of combat fer more than one short rest!!! But...onto the fic!!! ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); < The Caverns 'n Cullbeasts session shoulda wrapped hours ago...what in tarnation were the lot of 'em still doin' here...? These two ain't had grounds t'yammer 'n yap beyond stats 'n th'doling out 'o treasures accumulated...'n that took place hours ago!!! It took only a scant few moments more fer it t'really click with KRYQUS what this was even about...'n the thought still got dismissed with chudly indifference. Sensation overrode sensibility somethin' sorely suggestive...somethin' deeper...somethin'... ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Pale. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < KRYQUS's trembling hands passed over the character sheet in metered measures...examining for errors, miscalculations, even just a rounding error in carry weight that could set his party back some...He was always like this. Thinkin' 'o others in tiny, invisible ways that made 'm irresistible to anyone with eyes 'n the time t'use 'em. Y/C can't help but buckle back a little as KRYQUS suddenly seizes Y/C's pencil 'n tugs it forward tighter than a nat twenty on an athletics check that he'd piledrive into th'enemy's inferior armor class...the clamp continued, as he started to...sink to ganderglobe level. The EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS who once towered like a one troll rovin' rules lawyer on hoofback now ain't no more than a troll, his imposing sourcebooks gone from a monument to a frame. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < my character died ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < damn ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < toooo bad the same cannoot be said of climate change or casteism or peoople who talk shit and doont get hit ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oor any oof the woorlds oother many wooes ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < but i can oonly doo ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < soo much ✧( Ꮚ─_ ─Ꮚ) < as a fat fuckin chud of hooned discipline ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < eventually ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < woorlds gootta save itself ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < oor perish unwoorthy ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < KRYQUS becomes a livin' study in humility. His words underpin the lessons endowed to him by ZEBRADAD. A lodestar. A northern light. The honing beacon 'o morality and th'straight 'n narrow. But his actions. His nonchalance. His utter unquestionably sheer un-fuck-withable energy...this becomes the mantle 'o kingly might he assumes at all times. This becomes th'monarchic tradition passed down from KRYQUS to KRYQUS every few hundred sweeps, so long as he's still around. ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> JUST LIKE Y/C wouldn't all that mind bein'!!!!! EH? EH? EH? #FOREVERANDEVER #BUTACTUALLY #YCxKRYQUS #YOU+GOT+ZEBRADADS+BLESSING (ᗜᏊಠꈊಠᏊ)¤=[]:::::> Y/C felt inclined t'dispense comfort. There was a possessiveness t'the way Y/C saw KRYQUS cradle the character sheet in his palms. His broad shoulders cinched up like he dreaded th'thought of loosenin' a grip on this concept fer even a moment...but he put on a brave face just fer you. It wouldn't be right t'just let his happiness slip away. And read between the lines a daggum minute, world's gotta save itself or perish unworthy? That's QUITTER TALK! GLOBAL QUITTER TALK! DOOMSDAY QUITTER TALK! Kryqus feels THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD on his bulky sturdy rock steady shoulders right now! ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Just as Y/C up 'n worked th'courage t'confront his hands, improperly conspirin' t'mount a charge across yer thigh...Kryqus scoffs in indignation. He sees through yer transparent advances...and retreats strategically. All prompt-like. ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < tsk ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < doont attempt to knoow me ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < im way toooo cooool foor yoou ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < and even if i didnt mean that ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < yoou proobably shoouldnt @ me irl ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Uh oh! That got outta hand way fast...maybe it's time t'call fer... ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> REINFORCEMENTS!!!!!!! ᴗ(ᴗᏊ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> My -- I mean Gygaax's hands start t'alternate between (#polyquandary anyone???) petting the tops 'o both 'o yer heads...!!! Soft. Rhythmic little circles. My --- Gygaax's cartilage nubs unfurl from the tightly white knuckled meat mallet into a far more approachable set 'o chitinous diggers with a piercingly pale quality...!!! Both Y/C and KRYQUS are treated t'the soft enmeshed interplay 'o palmin' play 'n no strings attached emotional intervention...c-consensually! We can stop at any time. Y/C j...just could use this! A-as could KRYQUS. To uh. CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS t'gether... ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < "...Now, KRYQUS," Gygaax began, "Ewe can't be so harsh on Y/C...they've been through a lot. For our sake. For the CAMPAIGN. If anything were to happen to them...it would be on us to see to it they're protected and retrieved. Same as any PARTY MEMBER. Gentler hands should stir these waters. A SHEPHURT should tend 'n mend to its flock." If the two hands mussyin' up Y/C's body in tandem with KRYQUS wasn't BAaaaaaaAAAAAAd enough...a rovin' set of author-emblazoned fingertips were caressin' th'top of yer horns now. Pickin' out stray imaginary somethin somethins. Stalling. ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Suddenly, the rush of hot breath excites the air...populates it with the powerful gale phrasings of KRYQUS... ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < gygaax ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < what the actual fuck ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < are yoou trying to say i proovide subpar care to Y/C ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i literally carried this campaign ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < coomplaintlessly ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < Y/C with it ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i resent the fuck oout of that implication ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < i coould easily be gentler with this ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < weaving lazy river ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < if i wanted to ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < GYGAAX laughed. "Ewe could stand to be, KRYQUS. Yes. Just LOOK at Y/C. How can ewe say even a single solitary mean thing about that there cutie patootie?!" Tuggin' yer face into an awaitin' set 'o authorial brasserie, th'royal menagerie incidentally pits ya right in line with a EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS'S dice bag as th'aforementioned storms back onto his feet, now a monolith again. KRYQUS approaches our hug slowly. But not neverly. His arms hover over you. The river is still. Th'air itself thickens and compresses about yer skull, 'n horns, hardly blanketed by th'hoofbeast-scented torso cheekily just behind yonder... ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < what fucking ever ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < here yoou go lil guy ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < lap it up ✧( Ꮚ¬_ ¬Ꮚ) < <> ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < GYGAAX's hands tug around ya like a vanguard against harm. KRYQUS goes back t'bein his usual self...a monument of offended pride...he hugs you. And. Uh oh!!! Y/C feels a scraping sensation...nails possessively curled about one side 'o yer head, just at the barest nuggatory base of the horns (so embarassin'n!!!) and tracin' back towards th'scalp...no matter where ya look...t'KRYQUS or t'GYGAAX...both are complicit!!! A boilin' sort 'o affection wellin' up with intent t'pale, RIGHT ON TOP OF Y/C!!!!! (P1/P??) #SWATTPAD #Vacillation #PaleMoirail #TheWholeParty #FullCampaign #NotEnoughInventorySpace #SFW #YouAreOverencumbered!!! #XReader #FriendFiction #CnC #CavernsAndCullbeasts #KRYQUS #ImpliedAU #GYGAAXxKRYQUS #PALEMULTICLASS #AdventerrorsFieldGuide #CrossPosting #ScrawlThoughts #Drabbles #DubconPale #Polyquandary #TeamChud #GygaaxXEveryone #Palewhoring
TURNING ANOTHER SWEEP OLDER DOESN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT MATTERS ALL THAT MUCH, ANYMORE. NOT WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SPENT TWELVE SWEEPS IN ANCIENT EAST ALTERNIA REALIZING THAT YOU'RE MORE OR LESS TIME-LOCKED INTO THE AGE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE CEREBRALLY COERCED INTO SIGNING YOUR FUCKING FAUSTIAN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. THAT UNINTENDED LITTLE ROMP, IN ADDITION TO LANDING ME ON TIME ROACH EXTERMINATION DUTY, ALSO HAPPENED TO PAD OUT MY RESUMÉ WITH SOME USEFUL SKILLS. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE THINGS I'M ALL TOO COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT HERE IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE ROVING HORDES OF INTERNET PERVERTS LUSTING AFTER ANY #SUGGESTIVE OR OUTRIGHT #NSFW CONTENT THEY CAN HOOK THEIR GREASY PRONGS ON, BUT THERE'S ONE I'VE GOT A PRETTY SOLID HANDLE ON THAT FEELS ESPECIALLY RELEVANT TO BEING A MEMBER OF A CRIMINAL SYNDICATE. 「#SHIBARI.」 ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE THE CULTURE-ALLERGIC DIPSHITS IN THE ROOM ON A FACT ABOUT ROPE. ROPE IS A LIVING THING. NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS. BUT ROPE IS ORGANIC. HAIR. WOOL. PLANT FIBER. SPUN SILK FROM COCOONS. ROPE IS MADE FROM THINGS THAT ARE *ALIVE,* AND IF YOU TREAT IT LIKE A DEAD THING, IT'LL CHAFE LIKE A MAGGOTY, ROTTEN CORPSE LEFT IN THE SUN TO DESSICATE UNTIL IT FEELS ABOUT AS DELICATE ON THE SKIN AS A CRUSTY, CALCIFIED MANDIBLE. SO HOW DO YOU KEEP IT IN LIVING CONDITION? EASY. WIND IT OUT, PULL IT TAUT, BURN THE FRAYING EDGES. SMOOTH IT DOWN WITH SOFTENING WAX AND WORK IT IN. PAMPER THAT SHIT WHILE YOU YANK IT INTO PLIABLE ORDER. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY? USE IT. IT WANTS TO BE USED. EXHIBIT A. THE DROOLING, NEEDY BITCH WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO TALK ABOUT THIS ON MAIN. OBSERVE WHAT A REAL FUCKING MASTER CAN DO WITH A LIVING THING. NOT HER, OBVIOUSLY. SHE HAS ALL THE CHARM AND VIVACITY OF A BUZZING PILE OF FUCKING BLUBBERBEAST GUTS. IF ANYONE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE HORN TYING INTO THEIR 「KINBAKU」 PRACTICE, FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A FUCKING DIAGRAM. YOU KNOW, SINCE MY BOSS @handMaid DOESN'T MIND THE ATTENTION. AND WHILE WE'RE BRINGING UP "CARTOON FAIRY REVIEWSLOP," I AWAIT YOUR (SECOND) CANDID REVIEW OF THE 2015 JUKEBOX MUSICAL "STRANGE MAGIC" WITH DOWNRIGHT FUCKING GLEEFUL ANTICIPATION. I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT THE BOG KING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
alright! time to post the lewd thing. viewer beware. using dupe hands to take the selfie was helpful. i'm sure no one's gonna be a dickhead under my post. thanks for the kult i guess! ((art by @tipsyGlamour))
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘: @woegothic wouldn't You Like For These Memories Of Yours To Rot? you And I Both Know That They Don't. they Are Polite, Still, And Indispensable. They Lie Beneath The Floor Of Your Mind Like Something Wrapped In A Sheet, Once Beloved Enough To Be Mourned. Now, It Is Inconvenient Enough To Be Forgotten. If One Is Fortunate, The Sheet Says Clean. You Were Not, And Now It Has Stained Through. woegothe Curatrix Does Not Remember Her Death In The Manner People Would Prefer A Girl Like Her To Remember Dying. there Was No Tidy Last Breath. No Dramatic Hand Reaching Toward The Light. No Helpful Witness To Close The Eyelids And Declare The Narrative Meaningfully Concluded. there Was Only The Temple. there Was Only The Impossible Architecture Of A Frog Built To Contain A Universe, Or Perhaps Hatch One, Or Perhaps Make A Joke Of The Distinction. it Was, Quite Frankly, The Last Thing Left. there Was The Old Black Pressure Of Something Vast And Watching. There Was The Sensation Of Dreaming Too Deeply, Of The Self Turned Inside Out And Stitched Back Together With A Thread That Was Not Thread, But Command. A Cueball’s Bright, Blind Eye Resting Where An Answer Should Have Been. her Dreamself Did Not Wake. that Was The Version She Kept. wasn't It Easier To Say The Body Had Just 'despawned'? Easier To Say The Game Had Eaten It. Easier To Shrug And Let Such An Old Loss Become Yet Another Dead-end Mechanic In A Doomed Session Full Of Them? players Lose Things. Players Lose Versions. Players Lose Planets, Friends, Beds, Names, Timelines, Entire Cosmologies. your Missing Dream Corpse Was Not Special. you Did Not Let It Earn The Candle Of Mourning. Nor Did It Earn The Softness Of An Investigation. you Buried It. and Because She Is Very Practiced At Burying Things, She Did It Beautifully. she Placed It Under Jokes, Under Aesthetics, Under The Careful Little Pageantry Of Being A Person Online. She Placed It Beneath Black Lipstick And Lace. even Now, As Your Memories Form. You Are Not Sure If It Is Her Own Memories, Or Yours. are You Her? Were You Her? is She Even The One Remembering Such A Thing? she Folded It Into Persona Until The Seam Could Not Be Found. She Made Herself Into A Mausoleum With Excellent Taste. then, Years Later, Something Wearing The Shape Of Certainty Stepped Out Of The Same Grave. a White Skull. A Green Suit. A Voice That Knew How To Sound Amused Before It Ever Sounded Kind. A Creature Whose Politeness Had The Exact Weight Of A Locked Door. A Thing Called Scratch, Introduced To The World Like An Old Mistake With A New Title. she Did Not Know Him. that Was The First Mercy. she Did Not Know Him, But A Disobedient Corner Of Her Did. Not In Thought, But In The Same Register An Animal Might Identify A Threat. the Way Her Attention Snagged On Him. his Presence Felt Less Like A Stranger, More So, Someone Using Your Own Voice Behind A Wall. she Does Not Recognize Him By Face. rather, Their Shared Wound. the Reward Planet Was Not A Reward, Of Course. It Was A Stage Set Built Around A Frog Temple, Dead In The Way Abandoned Places Are Dead, Meaning It Was Full Of Things Waiting To Happen Again. Vriska, Because Vriska Cannot Enter A Room Without Making It Historical, Tripped The Old Machinery With Her Little Parade Of Flarpers And Borrowed Relevance. Equius And The Others Thought They Were Playing With A Prize. A Planet. A Resurrection Trick. Some Stupid, Glittering Corpse Of A Session Waiting To Be Looted. they Brought Her Back. they Brought Him Back. they Opened Up The Drawer To The Wrong Universe. they Had Then Been Claimed By Someone Much Uglier. much Older. much More Patient Than Any Of Them. caliborn Had Always Been There. The Moon Had Never Belonged To Her. The Planet Had Never Been Dead. It Was Only Pretending. woegothe Remembers The Return In Fragments. cold Grass. Artificial Sky. A Temple’s Mouth Behind Her. The Sour Embarrassment Of Continuing. The Feeling That Something Had Been Removed From Her With Clinical Precision, Then Placed Nearby In A Suit And Taught To Smile. she Does Not Think About That. she Has To Think Around It. every Moment. she Thinks Around Scratch The Way One Walks Around A Covered Mirror In A Dark Hallway. She Knows There Is A Reflection There. She Knows It Would Be Bad Manners To Look Too Long. She Knows, In The Small Horrible Church Of Instinct, That If She Ever Understood What He Was, Something In Her Would Have To Grieve Backward Through Time. so She Calls Him What Everyone Calls Him. scratch. a Name Smooth Enough To Hide The Abrasion. a Name That Does Not Say Dreamself. A Name That Does Not Say Corpse. A Name That Does Not Say You Were Split Open In Your Horrorterror State And Something Clean And Monstrous Crawled Out Wearing Your Missing Future. a Name That Does Not Say: You Are Not Haunted. a Name That Does Not Say: You Are The Haunting. the Worst Part Is The Fondness. it Isn't As Though She Likes Him. not Cleanly, Not Safely. not In Anyway That Can Be Considered Healthy. scratch Is Horrible In The Way An Old Portrait Is. Flawed, Decrepit, Beautiful. Full Of Details And Mistakes Alike. he Is So Cruel With His Posture. this Is Such A Shame For Her. not That He Frightens Her. that Would Be Sensible. her Shame Is That Of Some Lost, Starved Mechanism Of Her Within Him. some Little Broken Organ Of Recognition. she Knows Better. she Knows She Knows Better. every Conversation With Him Feels Like Standing At The Edge Of A Very Old Hole And Pretending She Came There For The View. There Is A Pull To It. that Is The Guilt. that She Wants To Be Understood By Something That May Only Understand Her Because It Was Made From What She Lost. she Cannot Help But To Defend His Disgusting Form. she Is Him. he Is Her. not Directly. passively. adjacently. in The Way An Egg Is A Cake. in The Way That A Crack Is A Fault. in The Way That A Gear Is The Clock. a Component. there Are Days, Quiet And Humiliating, Where She Wonders Whether He Is Lonely Too. that Thought Disgusts Her Most Of All. because Pity Is How The Trap Learns Your Name. #horror #cw-self-harm #body-horror . . . We . . . Are Alike. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1faipqlsekfh6j2vgskoqsezds9n0t5tnb8gtkihiapootjcd9yp3hmw/viewform?usp=dialog
PICTURES TAKEN MOMENTS BEFORE DISASTER. #HIVEDESTRUCTION #HIVEGORE #IMMINENT.
THERE ARE THOSE AMONG US. WHO KNOW BALL.
evverybody thank you for your brief attention as you may or may not knoww i am going to be participating in the wwonderful lairs and lusii game run by the wwoegothe herself so wwithout further ado here is my vvery belovved and special character i wwill be playing as and hopefully larping as if i can get the costume together the plucky the noble the esoteric the hedge wwizard and druid magician faunlovve naturals (he/him) https://cdnimgchestcom/files/817dd60aa161jpeg #lairsandlusii #hedgemage #wwizardposting #fantasy #lovve #nature #healing #prophecy #bignaturals
}(]]]]]) < let's all hear five biǦ booms for this fool > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < #ǦuzmoǦǦed > ([[[[[){ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/1b08ab7bbcaa.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/09febc8f8f90.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/a17262a5c358.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/5b169c884009.j₽eǦ htt₽s://cdn.imǦchest.com/files/fb32cd10ea64.j₽eǦ
https://open.spotify.com/track/1RzJ37KMEmEcxtp3SC4WFl?si=DHtPt4kLQr6Ge3Oe5zIqFw
?Are you a creature that requires a heat lamP to live?
[⏺️📶📈] Haha don't we all?
Happy pr☤de month from me, Zazzerpan, Fr☤ggl☤sh, Smarny, Ock☤te, Sm☤tt☤ren, and the rest of the Complacency, ☤ncl⛎︎d☤ng o⛎︎r two newest tro⛎︎ble makers Gobble and G⛎︎rgle.
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from his courtesan era: The life of a courtesan had educated the Akatsuki in language, poetry, refinement, and performance before a small audience. The next chapter of his life would prepare him to perform in front of a large one. Chosen for youth, beauty, and the type of androgynous features that can be easily slanted towards femininity with a little cosmetic prestidigitation, the life of an ONNAGATA — a Grubuki actor who plays predominantly feminine roles — afforded the troll who would become Uesugi Karkat tremendous fame, recognition, and inordinate wealth for a commoner of foreign hatching. As a former Boiran, the Onnagata had already learned how to wear the feminine grace of a courtesan like a costume in the theater of the Trollshiwara red light district. It was for this reason that he was scouted to play one of the most prestigious roles in any Grubuki play — the leading female role of Aggaei Makkie in the play "The Florastalk of Troll Edo" — for which the character, a commanding, fiercely loyal, and deeply passionate high-ranking courtesan, spurns a wealthy, but abusive highblood customer to protect her quadmate in one of the most famous monologues of scathing, acerbic, pitch-black venom ever recited in Grubuki theatre — the AKKUTTAI. It was for channeling this performance with such peerless vitriol that Uesugi Karkat became one of the most famous Onnagatas of the Troll Edo period. Naturally, the life of a Grubuki actor means constant pressure. Rehearsal, training, perfection of one's craft. Many onnagata of the time preferred to live their craft vicariously at all times, adopting a female persona through which to hone their "method" in everyday life. This was not the case for Uesugi Karkat, who shed his many-colored persona when off the stage to don nondescript gray robes whenever possible. Yet the constant pressure of life in a Grubuki theatre troupe and his ability to navigate it with grace made him both a leader among his fellow actors and something of a popular figure with the stagehands who he commiserated with in the wings. It was from these stagehands, many of whom were well-versed in the art of securing props with ropes, fastening theatrical rigging, and tying elaborate, functional knots, that the famed Onnagata would learn one final skill from the world of the theatre — one that would lead to his secret life as the NAWASHII. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ee6014bb70e8.png #uesugikarkat
acrobaT infernis 4:7: "They danced, They conTorTed, They frolicked along The TighT rope above The sinners and peered down upon The blasphemy below. They could only laugh as They Twirled and sung Their hymns above, singing To The carnivals above, awaiTing Their ascension..." oh, and a selfie i guess 'cause a sis ain'T been all up and geTTin' down wiTh The posTing on This biTch. :o) hTTps://cdn.imgchesT.com/files/b3d417c83a6e.jpeg
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 1: rose lalonde #nsfwv #nsfvwe #substance #dubcon #cagttl first in my kinda arbitrary order is rose lalonde, rosie, blondie, cutest babe to evwer scovwl at me. trunkbeast in the block, yeah youre gonna need one into dudes, but thats more common that youd think. wveirdly more common than some of the other gals into gals, ewven. second point of order, roses are freaks. ewvery single one, iwve newver met one that isnt. this means that youvwe got an in, but not necessarily an easy one. youvwe gotta prowve to her that you can provwide wvhat her owvn fucked up pan vwants. usually this means dealing wvith her lusus issues. she wvants a masculine figure to giwve control to so that she can pretend like she isnt messed up about mommy. her loss is your gain. theyre also usually drinking too much of the seer juice, so doing stuff they vwouldnt expect is a good in. that or shes drinking the soporifics, dont see this one super often, but the vway to take advwantage of that is obwvious. wvhatewver it is, just position yourself as someone she can giwve control to. a fawvorite line of mine is "wvhos gonna believwe me anyvways?" my personal fawvorite is the "oh no please dont" style rose. this is the one that showvs off wvhat shes got, puts herself into situations, but acts frosty anywvays. think of her like a meovwbeast. you cant come on too quick, you gotta let her come to you, figure out vwhat she wvants. a good compliment vwill usually set her off in the right wvay, preferably something crass as possible to immediately get her off-balance. tits or ass wvorks, though some vwont be impressed by that, so get creatiwve! once youwve got her on the defensiwve you can figure out vwhat her thing is. does she get off to the shame of being seen around a dude like you? do her knees go vweak at the idea of taking orders? cant handle some trollhandling? shell hiss and scratch a little, but keep up the pressure and shell crack. shell get all blushy evwen as she snarks, and shell call you a creep but she wvont stop you. these ones lowve getting taken somewvhere priwvate to "chevw you out" wvhen really they just wvant an excuse to giwve you the chance to feel em up evwen more obwviously. then youwve got the magic dabblers. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, i think vwhat they technically do is majykks or howvevwer you spell it. doesnt matter. these ones are bored as hell and theyre wvilling to make it just about anyones, uhh... the opposite of a problem. you see a rose thinking about testing a spell from some spooky tome on herself, encourage it, shes one of these. if they can find some excuse to giwve you the reins, they wvill. find a vway to justify your ovwn magical acumen. these are usually the type wvho wvanna givwe up control, wvanna stop thinking, so take charge and giwve that to em. i think if you leawve any rose alone vwith an esoteric tome long enough she becomes one of these, so go for it if thats vwhat youre into. if youvwe got a rose vwho doesnt seem to fall into either category, but youre sure she could like dudes, then you gotta mold her yourself. make jabs at her competence, emphasize hovw easy it is for you to push her around physically, make her feel small. shell push back, but youre prodding at stuff shes already thinking about herself. shell nevwer accept you as her equal so you gotta tear her dovwn until shes about to implode, then offer yourself as a shoulder to cry on. a confidante. she can trust you, vwho wvould you tell, vwho wvould believwe you? then you make your mowve. make her feel useful, use her, make her think that givwing you her body is just as good as wvovwing you wvith her mind. you gotta be her rock. the genetic predisposition to soporifics abuse is a great help here. shes used to feeling this wvay, ewven if she cant admit it, you gotta make it feel good. make her associate this state vwith pleasure, wvith you. if you can do that, youvwe got her in the palm of your hand. alright, time for the rating bod: roses havwe a lotta wvariance, ivwe seen em scrawvny and iwve seen em curvwy as hell. bonus points for being blonde and making the best faces vwhen theyre mad. 8/10 vwariety: 9/10 you can get a rose for just about any mood you might havwe, but theyll usually act grumpy about it ease: you gotta wvork a little bit to make a rose put out, but theyre usually entertaining enough its not frustrating. 6/10 personality: i lovwe em for their rambling, makes for fun banter, but i can see hovw itd put some people off. the ice queen schtick really does it for me those 7/10 ovwerall? ten outta ten babes, cant complain. im alwvays happy to see a nevw rosie in the bubbles and figure out her deal. usually her deal ends up being an unhealthy obsession vwith xeno-biology
An unnamed individual, unrelated to any #masquerade event taking place. Part trois. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/69c71ccb275b.png
Some loser just cast testicular torsion on me. I can tell you're from the human meta, looooooool. Anyway die.
it is getting a little easier the old lady is regaining her composure and so i am having an easier time not dwelling on the assassination :) its going to be tough without her healing powers but i personally havent needed them more than a few dozen times over the sweeps our loyal enforcers on the other hand will just have to make do!
Since we're in Quadrants and Charms 1101 this afternoon. React to this chit with the quadrant in which you suppose you would be your absolute MOST toxic.
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/XQNDQZHC/NICEMAID.PNG WHEN YOU'RE BEEFING WITH ME. THIS IS WHO YOU'RE BEEFING WITH. #NICEMAID
PE0PLE 0F THE WEBSITE WHICH MY H0RRIBLE B0SS SLASH CAPT0R SLASH ABUSIVE WARDEN HAS BEEN SPENDING T00 MUCH TIME 0N. I AM PR0UD T0 ANN0UNCE THAT THEY HAVE #LETMECHITT. THANK Y0U. OKAY. EN0UGH BEING NICE. I’M G0ING T0 BE S0 FUCKING 0BN0XI0US. I HAVE A LIST 0F RULES HE GAVE ME T0 BREAK IMMEDIATELY AND WITH0UT HESITATI0N.
Damn @woeGothic , you got something you want to tell me? This shit's downright solicitous.
6/6'd today's Wordle. Do NOT talk to me. #fuming #fuuuuuuuuck
Implying the Vriska party isn't eternal. My LIFE is a Vriska party and you are all cordially invited to crash.
I think I've followed or 8locked just a8out every Vriska I could from the search 8ar. Now it's time to spin my little we8 and o8serve........ These 8itches are getting SNIPED!!!!!!!! #vriska #dou8lespleaseinteract
You literally liked my chit a8out forum RP. Who the fuck RPs on Chittr????????
Not until some of these other 8itches get 8ack to me!!!!!!!! >::::/
It's always the RPs you don't give as much of a shit a8out that respond quickly, 8n't it?
I am always saying this.
I saw two of those shitty delivery ro8ots recently and I genuinely had to use every ounce of self control I have not to 8r8k my fucking frondstu8 on its stupid chassis 8y trying to punt it clear across the road. TWICE.
💪👀⚪️💥💥💥🦾👁
8zzzzt, wrong answer, try again!
Who are you, my lusus?
I should call him.
Completely forgot to plug my palmhusk in last light 8ut I woke up to it at 8% 8attery. #netneutral
Freaky Friday? No. Fat 8east Friday. #fat8eastfriday https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/363209096134000652/1492173194419765301/20260409_004313.jpg?ex=69da5e14&is=69d90c94&hm=b60babd3cf695adcf233a2ebd5e88b59fea03eeb1a1ec522b19601dac2bc0acc&
Going to pir8 twice as hard just for making me see this shit.
Engage in piracy today OR ELSE!!!!!!!!
I giggle and kick my feet every time someone h8s one of my chits. #tryharder
:33< #girlbulge! :33< <3 :33< #nsfw
Hey l಄಄k, my first ♠ react!
:33< check it! :33< this ones fur all the girls out there! :33< *the mighty huntress throws a basketball at a hoop and b33fs it badly*
:33 < H33h33, okay, I'll post a little something to commemorate last nyaight... Don't get too excited now.. or do! I like it when mew squirm <3 #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/31472237ae97.jpg
Ḳ̶̡̻͎͇̃̾͛̕͜͝͝͝͝Ṵ̷͇͈͍̺̳̉D̴̢̧͉̰̬̖͔̹̮̻̠̟̳̪̩͑̌͂͆̿̋͜͝ͅO̸̡̢̢̺͎̝̭̹̲͉͇̰͊͛̾̊̊̚S̷̡̹̪͔̞̜̺̝̲̲̳͓̩̈́͐̍͋̋̇̅͒̊̈́̽͜͝ͅ!̴̢̤͕̜̹̺̼͔͔͉̯̫̦̫̺̌̅͒͝ ̴̖̤̻̫̳̰̹̔̈́͆͊̌͝͝❤̵̢̢͉͚̼̮̖̻̘͓̱̺͕͔̝͇͈̒̄̅͛̿̚︎̸̷͖̝̱̤̠̞̬͎̪͙̙̦̣̞̔̃́̿̑̓̅̒̏̂̑͗̈͆͐͐́̓͌̍̐̀̒͘̕͘̕͜͜͝͝͝ͅ
Are you a Purrbeazttt or Barkkbeazttt kkind of tttroll? Or perhapz zomettthing elze?
((IVE GONE LIGHTHEADED FROM LAUGHTOR @woeGothic
WHO SAYS I AM
@woeGothic Okay OKAY i get it, Jesus fucking Christ You've made your point
My body is a machine that turns Unmedicated Autism into Staring out into space for a concerningly long amount of time
Fuck off, i know your stupid ass isn't Chiming up.
By the Nines, its fucking Hot as shit today....
TY. someone finally with good music taste
Did once, Then he just came back and swiftly kicked my ass. i'm not looking to make that mistake again
i made music last night. Dad says its...4.3/10 on the Bop Scale
An Old Senile Woman that looks a lot like my mom just said "FUCK YOU" to me. Jesus fuck yall Elderly be Wylin
She's so fucking mean...
either Grandma English blocked me or i genuinely killed her.....
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/9a/20/0a/9a200a260a222ec19610871d39c698f1.jpg mood
my meds are kicking in. i'll leave you all with this https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c3/43/cf/c343cf9f1694086b5c29a73f5acbc9bb.jpg
God has let me live another day and I'm gonna make it everyone else's problem. also if you wanna be breifely entertained, Look up "Divorced looking Birds" jits wonderful
every time i'm sad i remember it could be objectively worse. Cause if Dad wanted to suddenly Remake All of Jurassic park/World using REAL dinosaurs, i'm up shit creek without a Paddle
To any of my paradox siblings that read this. Mom said it was my turn on the Xbox
Where's that one Purple Blood with the Black and grey horns? That guy looks like he knows what the fucks up
To everyone hating my Chits. STOP BOOING ME, I'M RIGHT
i do. i just channel it into Psychokinetic Outbursts.
Mom Barks sometimes, Especially when she's yelling
Some of you have never had your Dad Try teaching and Instilling Ancient Samurai code into you as a toddler while your mom Shouts "OH MY GOD DAVE HE'S SLIPPING!!!" and "DAVE I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU LOSE OUR KID WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE" and it shows
Don't Worry about it!! i'm taking care of it!!
Hey so uh....The Building i set on fire that i thought was Crocker corp Property was a Storage Facility.....
FUYCI NOT AGAIN
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/ef/f0/dbeff058e1af59da1bc55970ed610d2a.jpg i wanna be here so badly....
who needs food when your stomachs replaced by circuitry
This is just the Motivation i needed to Replace all my internal organs with various machinery
Mom said i cant be a Tech priest. which is bullshit because my right arm up to my Elbow is Prosthetic? So i'm already part Machine
i refuse to be Outshadowed by someone with a fucking Flat Square head
Why the fuck is a Minecraft Mob More popular than myself??? I'm not upset i'm just.....Bewlidered?
i'm actually about to fucking sob. I CANT FIND MY SWITCH GAMES ANYWHERE. WHAT THE FUCK
Not Unless the Splatoon fans get to me first.....
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/cc/c4/49/ccc4499516ab1320c3d1de59011cb386.jpg
HELP. IVE ANGERED THE TOUHOU COMMUNITY
Upd8: The Touhou community cant get to me unless the splatoon fans kill me first
Based Take
Why do Big Spiders have Toe beans????
Nah we cool. at least i think
If i suddenly Go Dark for the rest of the night, assume that @enderVariant Got to me
i'm fucking RAVENOUS
Yuri so powerful it caused Chittr to shit the bed
Are we good? Are we Gucci???
Mom said that Spiders evolved Toe beans to stick to things better. Hence the term Adhesive pad
DISCLAIMER: I'M SORRY I'M JUST STUPID. I GENUINELY TRY NOT TO OFFEND AND START SHIT. I'M JUST A FOOL
i'm already a Psionic. so.....what's the worse to happen
Mind honey is safe for humans????
Our bees make honey.
Wtf??? bees got an Update??? Damn....
wtf? Bees can make electricity?
Can any troll Confirm or deny the bee allegations?
Boredom, usually
god has let me live another day and i'm about to make it everyone else's problem https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/9b/71/29/9b7129934c6d683717dd77524a6f8f97.jpg
Tight Af. dad taught me how to skate
Fuck yeah. you know how to skate?
Yeah Daves my dad....Who's your dad?
Holy shit i have another sister????
i'm half dog. and i'm just stating that when it comes to my preffered animal, i choose canines
Idk where yall stand but i'm on #TeamDogs
i'm alive!! (unfortunately)
rats are cool tho
On my birthday once, my dad let me rent out an entire stadium just to play Splatoon on the fucking Enormous screen. shit was Magical
what's the worse to happen?
Someone help me convince my mom about Editing my Genetics to at least be 40% Cephalopod
you came to the Wrong rock. BITCH
STOP HATING MY SHIT, FUCKERS
It Is Quite The Range Of People, Including Many Humans On This Site it Is Incredibly Fascinating To Observe
X Living life likw karty iyt gere #substance x