The Helpsman
@helpsMan
Happy to help | Also to bother my descendants.
i love my friends :)
:D!! i do my best!
ii've con2iidered giiviing my2elf a more proper handle. 🤔 there are other help2men 2o iit miight get confu2iing wiith more than one me. ii'll pau2e on that for now.
🫶✨⏰💖🫶 do i hear seven hundred thousand caegar, seven hundred thousand caegar, eight hundred thousand caegar, do i hear eight fifty from the ceruleanblood in the back with the bifurcated horns, eight fifty, nine hundred thousand caegar, do i hear ONE MILLION, one million caegar for these EXCLUSIVE collector's item(s), one million going once, going twice...one point FIVE million...point five carry the five dont forget the five the fives a carry, going once, going twice, TWO million, two million, two mega millions, three million, do i hear three million, that is three big ones, three million, three point one million, oh we are getting close, fewer hands that arent mine, three million, three million, three, only three million, plus the point one, cannot forget the point one, that is...POINT five, i see a point five, three million point five, four million, FIVE million, five million, five Ms that is a satisfied MMMMM if i ever heard one, going once, going twice, aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnddd....SOLD!!!! 🫶✨💉⏰💖 🎉💎👏 THE 👏 GAVEL 👏 HAS 👏 DROPPED 👏 AND 👏 THE 👏 WINNER 👏 IS 👏 YOU!!!!!! 👏💎🎉 🫵✨ @carbolicGalvanologist AS LONG AS YOU ARE 24KARAT KAT!!!!!! @carbolicGalvanologist EVERYONE FOLLOWING ME PLEASE GIVE A WARM AND ROUSING CONGRATS TO THE 24K KAT(S)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (JUST HIM) (NO COPYKATS!)✨🫵 😤💅 I am literally SHAKING my six manicured hands (yes even the psionic ones) right now bestie because YOU!!!! just secured the EXCLUSIVE!!!! UNDISCLOSED!!!! WINNING!!!! BID!!!! for a pair of GENUINE ARTICLE HANDMADE HANDMAID TIME NEEDLES!!!!!! 💉⏰✨ not replicas!!! not knockoffs from some LOW TIER IMITANT FLIMSY FINGERED PENNY PINCHER rustblood (covered in)flea(s) @handMaid market!!! these are the ACTUAL fabric of space-time temporal continuity piercing instruments used by the (supposed) SCOURGE OF THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE herself bestie!!!!! Do you know what this MEANS?!?!? it means YOU are now in possession of LITERAL FRAGMENTS OF CANON HISTORY!!!!! WOW!!!! TO THINK THIS WILL PLACE FOREVERMORE HIGHLY IN THE PURVIEW OF YOUR GREAT PURCHASING ACHIEVEMENTS!!! 🫶💉⏰💖 💛✨ as always TERMS & CONDITIONS APPLY BESTIE (THEY ALWAYS DO!) ✨💛 📊💅 some mighty fine fine PRINT - sinceeeeee you dont have the principal amount of your bid in CASH (dw bestie, its the modern day, we have ways of spreading these things out) your payment schedule is set to RECURRING EXTRACTION every THREE (3) DAYS!!!! that's right bestie! three whole days to grind the amount you need to keep those hands of yours full and your clock cleaned and regulatorily compliant!!!! every 72 hours we're doing a little ✨fiscal maintenance✨ on your accounts! think of it not as a burden but as a SUBSCRIPTION TO SUCESS!!!! a membership fee for your TITANIC TEMPORAL TAKEOVER!!!! 💅📊 ⚠️💎 BUT BESTIE!!!!!! 💎⚠️ 🫶🔒assssssssss discussed! failure to maintain your payment schedule results in AUTOMATIC CONFISCATION!!!!! that's right! the needles go RIGHT back into the BESPOKEN OF Roewzi Charms Premium Inventory Collection (TM) until next timely payment if you can't keep up with the grindset!!!!! no refunds!!!! no exchanges!!!! no ifs!!! ands!!! or cute butts!!!! just the swift vacuum of repossession scooping up those beautiful temporal artifacts right out of your hive and back into MY climate-controlled moisture free display vault!!!!! 🔒🫶 💛✨ BUT THAT'S NOT A THREAT BESTIE THAT'S AN HONOR!!!!!! ✨💛 👑🫵 do you understand what you've done?!?! you've elevated yourself from mere TROLL to INSTRUMENTAL TEMPORAL INSTRUMENT COLLECTOR!!!! from CHALK to CHALKBOARD ETCHING CHRONOS CONNIVER bestie!!!!! These needles don't just pierce flesh they pierce the FABRIC OF SPACETIME itself, REMEMBER???? which is why it took so much tweaking to get the app to keep track of them. thats seventy two hours (YOUR TIME) bestie. and it IS your time. they're YOURS!!!! (conditionally!!!! but still!!!! only 48 payments of sixty two thousand five hundred before TOTAL UN*CONDITIONAL OWNERSHIP!!!!) 🫵👑 *ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵉʳᵐˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶜᵒⁿᵈᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ ᵐᵃʸ ᵃᵖᵖˡʸ 🏢💅 this is like having a timeshare in DESTINY USURPATION NATION bestie!!!!! you are NOT just buying needles youre buying the RIGHT to wield the tools of the LORD CALI B'S OWN HANDMAID!!!!! do you feel that weight?!?! that's the weight of NARRATIVE SIGNIFICANCE on your shoulders!!!!! that's the burden of RECURRING PAYMENTS for RECURSIVE REDECORATING AN ENTIRE TIMELINE!!!!!! 🏢💅 💉⏰ THE NEEDLES THEMSELVES ⏰💉 🫶✨ crafted from the finest clockwork majyyk manifesting alloys!!!! attunement is as easy as the TWELVE STEPS PROVIDED by GYGAAX BHILDR (@tautologicalTechnique) in the ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK! and decoding the ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK is as simple as reading the ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOK INSTRUCTION BOOK i painstakingly handwrote to make sense of his nerd shit! forged in the fires of a KILN OF OFF KILTER CANON there is NO SPECULATION!!!! these are the LITERAL REAL DEAL! each inch of needlessly nefarious needle nudged represents a MOMENT IN TIME that could have been but IS if you want it to be buh-buh-buh-bestie!!!! and now they're yours to hold along with the glory of whatever you wish to transpire!!!! to display!!!! to slay!!!!! to flay and delay!!!! and also. maybe. accidentally stab yourself with and idk, see what happens (liability waiver signed in advance, and bestie, don't worry I have it on file)!!!!! ✨🫶 📈💛💛💛💛💛 BRAND PARTNERSHIP ACTIVATION: 100%!!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛📈 🫵 FOR MY CHITTR OFFICIAL...THE WORLD...🫵 💖💎 enjoy your first THREE DAYS before extraction numero uno hits!!!!! Consider it motivation bestie!!!!! a countdown to clock in to your own grandiose greatness!!!!! 💎💖 #HandmaidHustle #TemporalFinance #NeedleNicheMarket #RecurringRevenue #24KaratKat #Charm$Collections #PaymentPlanisAPrivilege #ConfiscationIsJustAGenerousReturnPolicy #GoldBloodGrindset #Flashing #Lights✨👑💛⏰💉 🟢✨ CHARMS IS ALWAYS ONLINE.
iintere2tiing! ii wa2n't expectiing two be tagged iin a po2t at all. ii don't know who lord calii b ii2 or "handmaiid" but that remiind2 me of 2omeone. well, thank2 for keepiing me 2omewhat iin the loop. ii'm grateful two be iincluded. iit'2 niice two 2ee 2uch a productiive and energetiic per2onaliity!
Ordered an innocent milkshake at this weird ass restaurant. They give me this pancreas killer. Ignore Mallum in the background.
that look2 liike iit'll hurt iin 2ome way, 2hape, or form. regardle22, ii hope you enjoy iit.
We're scared of it.
aaah, well, maybe ju2t take all the 2tuff on twop of iit? miight help make the entiire thiing le22 iintiimiidatiing.
hello two @luckycharm2 @luckecharm2 @themenace @charmher @yellowjacket @ceocharm2 @thehandyman @thegoldgiildedgriind2et and la2t but not lea2t hello two @charmeu2ecare22iing a2 well.
👌💎👌 you sure know how to make a guy feel high value, helpful working class hero hottie helpsman!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhh~! 👆📈👆 👍💡👍 always a good sign when a guy can handle ALL another guy's handles! 😍💖😍 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
not hard at all; you twok the tiime two liike and follow me, 2o iit'd be the riight thiing two acknowledge iit. 2eem2 liike a lot of hard work ii2 put iintwo iit and your po2t2. ii appreciiate hard work. iit'2 a plea2ure two meet you.
... Good morning.
had a great day at work; we got a lot done and were extra productiive. even knocked off a few thiing2 for twomorrow, thought that mean2 twomorrow ii'd have 2ome free tiime, and ii'll fiigure out what two fiill that tiime wiith later.
mAd rElAtAbLe. FoLkS Be sHaRiNg eVeRy sEcOnD Of tHeIr mOtHeRfUcKiN LiVeS On tHiS SiTe. YeAh, ThInK I SaW ThAt sHiT? tHaT NoRmAl? SeEmS LiKe sOmE FuCkInG PeRsOnAlItY ScRuBbInG To mE BuT I AiN'T BeFoRaN.
ii thiink everyone 2hould have a le22on on iinternet 2afety and the 2hariing of priivate iinformatiion and iimage2. ii make 2ure two have no dii2cerniible 2cenery and remove the metadata from my iimage2 before ii po2t them. aaand, ii won't 2peak on iit becau2e he'2 liikely not from here and ii'm not two 2ure how ii feel about iit.
... yEaH HuH. lOwBlOoDs rEaLlY Be lIvInG DiFfErEnT. wAs mOrE ThInKiN LiKe sAyIn sHiT AnD BeInG SuRpRiSeD OtHeR PeOpLe aRe nOsY Or bE KnOwInG ThEy mOtHeRfUcKiN BuSiNeSs. ThOuGhT YoU CoUlD PrOcEsS ShIt lIkE SuPeR QuIcK? sUrPrIsEd yOu dOn't kNoW It's fUcKeD Up, CaN SaY ThAt bRo.
iit'2 alway2 good two 2tay 2afe regardle22 of bloodcolor. anythiing could happen. but that two, ii prefer not haviing my bu2iine22 ea2iily acce22iible. ii can 2hare my work comfortably becau2e that ii2 a publiic job. ii do; they're ju2t not one of miine. ii don't know enough about theiir 2iituatiion. ii've opted two put tryiing two fiigure out what and why currently ii2 2omethiing two put on the back burner unle22 iit become2 relevant two me iin 2ome way ii can a22ii2t and/or help.
hIgHbLoOdS GoTtA OtHeR ShIt tO WoRrY BoUt, SpEaKiNg aS FuCkInG OnE N AlL. i sEe, DoN'T ReAlLy kNoW NoThIn aBoUt yOu bEsIdEs yOu lIkE HeLpIn aNd wOrKiN (o: AiN'T OnE A MiNe aNd i fEeL FuCkInG BaD BuT WhAtEvEr. NoT LiKe tHaT BaD, i aIn't gOnNa dO NoThIn bOuT It hOnK HoNk. RiGhT On mAn, ReAlLy hOw iT GoTtA Be. CaN'T FuCkInG CaRe bOuT EvErYoNe aN ThInG Fr.
faiir enough, ii don't exactly keep up wiith the hiighblood2 all that much. and that ii2 by de2iign; ii do not need people two know about me unle22 ii want them two. ye2, ii 2hare 2ome average concern, but out2iide of that iit'2 none of my bu2iine22 unle22 iit ii2 made my bu2iine22. ii have more tangiible people ii can concern my2elf wiith.
kInDa sAd bRo )O: tHoUgHt bEfOrUs wAs aLl aBoUt eQuAlItY Or wHaTeVeR? aIn't gOt nO HiGhBlOd qUaDmAtEs? TaKe iT YoU GoTtA WoRrY AbOuT MoRe wOrK FoLkS? cApToR'S ReAlLy jUsT HaTcHeD DiFfErEnT HuH. (O:
ii want two dii2clo2e my opiiniion, but ii have been repriimanded before for 2peakiing two robu2tly about certaiin twopiic2. however, iif we talk priivately, we can conver2e. ii do not, ii do not have any quadmate2 at all. ii'm the head of the help2men currently, and my job ii2 two make 2ure they're 2afe and taken care of whiile on the clock. 2o ye2. ha, well. ii thiink ii'm a tad biit of a hard worker.
tHeY DoN'T ChEcK Ya'lLs dM'S ToO? bUt sUrE MaN, mInEs aLwAyS OpEn DaMn mAn yEr bUmMiNg mE OuT No bOdY WaS HaTcHeD To bE AlOnE DuDe, SaId tHaT ShIt iN TrOlL OnE PiEcE. YeA MaN, yOu wOrKiN WaY ToO HaRd, ShIt eVeN I GoT A BeTtA BaLaNcE Of tHaT ShIt aNd i bE KiLlIn fOlKs aN EnJoY ThAt sHiT.
ju2t my publiic po2t2. dm2 have a biit more encryptiion for priivacy. ah, well. ii've been two bu2y two focu2 on tho2e 2ort2 of thiing2, been pretty goal-oriiented. hm. ii have day2 off; twomorrow ii2 one of tho2e 2uch day2. ii have mandated tiime two take care of my need2 and my2elf. ii've been twold ii work two much.